As many of you are probably aware I've doing HRT DIY-style.

I've gotten my dosages and scheduling and everything pretty well perfected except for ONE THING. One of my three T blockers is making me tired all the time.

So, I figured it was probably time for me to put up a more recent pic of myself. It's been a LONG time since most of my befores... But first, here's one more before:

So it's been a week and a day since my last blog. It's been an eventful one.

I was just looking into a gender clinic reasonably nearby (They're up in Michigan some 40+ miles north of me), and their site, here, claims they do SRS using the "one-step Amsterdam procedure"...

Anyone ever heard of this SRS procedure? I tried googling and either my google-fu has failed, or, there is like, no information about this, or, well, it just plain doesn't exist.

So I've been looking into the possibility of going back to school, and the interest was in Cosmetology. After some research, I concluded it was going to be either Toledo Academy of Beauty Culture, or Regency Beauty Institute - Toledo. My instincts told me I was going to be going to Regency, but I wanted to avoid any pre-bias before even giving TABC a chance, so I visited them first. Ghettoist Beauty School ever! So that was a... maybe, but prolly not.

I was mulching with the Wrecking Crew again today. We were doing one of the owner's houses in town. Both of them actually have several houses... Er... well, this one was more of a mansion.

I just worked a nine hour day straight, no lunch, and I'm completely bushed.

I know, it's been a while since I blogged last... Honestly, my life's gotten pretty boring of late. It's the same story day after day, I go to work, eat, play some games, read some stuff on BCTS, occasionally try to write my stories that I'm really horrible about updating... And I'm getting absolutely no where with my transition goals. I'm not getting any closer to being able to afford health insurance (that covers transition), and my family and close associates still insist this is just some "phase" at best. At worst, they're like my mom and are refusing to believe it's happening at all.

The following recipe was developed over the course of several months, using my local Singles group as guinea pigs at our various potlucks. It always disappears quickly every time I make it. Goes great with a scoop of Cookies and Cream ice cream.

The following recipe makes a great balanced meal for on the go. I make the paste in large quantity and freeze most of it, getting out a weeks allotment at a time. The reason for using dry beans and soaking, cooking and then softening them for so long is, first, best results for pasting, second, elimination of the stereotypical gaseous components of the beans.

March 30, 2011; 3:00 AM:

“It looks like they’re starting to come to.” came a disembodied voice, as my groggy mind started to clear. I opened my eyes, and tried reaching for my service weapon, only it wasn’t there, and a searing pain shot through my head, sharpest at the two points at the ends of my optic nerves. I fell back... into a bed?

It all began the twenty-ninth of March, two-thousand eleven.

Atlantia - a town that doesn't exist. Where magic is real, half the people you meet on the street have superpowers, and once you're there, you can never leave.

Where did the time go? It seems just yesterday was the middle of summer still. OK... not really.

Though this year does, in turns, feel like it went by awfully fast, but that an awful lot happened.

Well... the situation at home has pretty well stagnated. Every time I try to push any further, my mother about bites my head off and the heads of anyone who she feels is supporting me too much.

I've decided to move out. First, because I want to. Second. Because I want to. Third... ;)

OK, real reason out of the way, some of the rationalizations:

"That girl was hot!" whispered the lad to his friend as they walked past me. It was just shortly before three, and the busload of high schoolers who live at the apartment complex had just been dropped off.

"That was a boy!" his friend whispered back.

This is a very emotionally and spiritually charged piece. As such, there will be references that those outside Mormonism and Christianity in general will not get. In this entry, I will attempt to explain some of these references.

Psalms of a LDS Transgendered

This shall be a book of all my transgender related poetry, to be added to as I write them.

They both do Thermolysis, Galvanic (multi-probe), and Blend. I'd insist on either pure Galvanic, or Blend, of course.

http://www.electrolysis-by-maryann.com/

She even lists her rates right there on the front page. She certainly puts together a smart site at least...

http://www.1eam.com/index.html

I'd have to call them to even find out their rates, but they're about 10 miles closer to me by bike than Mary-Ann is. I don't like their site as much...

Work yesterday sucked. Rained all day, cleaned off a back patio of a recently vacated townhouse that they are getting ready to start showing first thing, then just blew wet leaves about all day with the blower. Wasn't the most efficient use of time, but it was the most efficient I could do with the rain, and the leaves just had to be blown away from the walkways, rain or not. Nothing terribly interesting happened, though I have mostly written a psalm in my head that I just need to mesh out in writing, which I intend to do tomorrow.

I think some small part of me is still resisting the changes I'm beginning to make. I think I'm, in some small corner of my mind, still afraid. Afraid of what I don't know about being female. Afraid of how people who don't or can't understand will treat me. Afraid of change. Someone replied to Heather's entry about losing her pet that it's a bit of a "system shock", after 16 years, suddenly losing a dear friend and companion, her dog. I kind of think that's what's happening to me now.

So. The family meeting had been tonight.

This morning I had too much laundry to do and couldn't make it to church, when my mother found out about this, she was all like "what about the Bishop?"

I was like, "what, about the Bishop?"

She was, "Weren't you supposed to meet with him at church today?"

I was like "no..."

She said, "you told me I'd find out today, at church."

I know she's brighter than that, so she selectively misunderstood me back on Friday. I said, "No... I said you'd find out today - at the family meeting."

Had dinner with just my mom and I last night at a Japanese restaurant in town.

The restaurant was excellent. It was my first time there, though my younger brother had been there and told me it was very authentic.

What he hadn't told me was that it was also very traditional! The cooks even come to your table and do the whole show thing if you order Habachi! We didn't, but we observed this taking place with customers who did.

I hope you all can understand that with what I am going through right now, I really can't even begin to think about writing Open Your Heart.

Don't worry though, I do not plan to give up on it or stop writing it! I merely need to work out my own life before I can help Pattengale with their life.

Even when I do start pushing chapters out again, they will likely be very slow in coming.

Abigail Drew.

(Another title which is a line from Fiction, the song has especial meaning to me right now, which I think you can imagine why: http://www.kovideo.net/fiction-lyrics-yuki-kajiura-810763.html)

So I talked to the other fish yesterday. Remember, my sister just older than I and myself were called Fish in high school? Because of the massive amounts of water we'd both drink.

Anyways, I'm not sure why I did it, in retrospect I probably should have waited until after the family meeting and just hoped if things went south no one beat me to it.