Laika

Assimilate This! (2 of 5: Borg)

The moment that tractor beam hit our little ship we knew our fate was sealed. My moms and I had been abducted by the most feared beings in the galaxy, merciless creatures who saw us as nothing more than raw materials for their quest to turn everybody, everywhere into what they were. The drones ignored my screams as they replaced my left eye with a more efficient visual apparatus, then replaced other parts of me with tools suited to the tasks I had been assigned to perform. Wires snaked into my brain, and when my mind was linked to the collective I wasn't me anymore. I was no longer anyone.

But I'll say one thing for being turned into a Borg, it did eliminate my gender dysphoria for more than years. When you're nothing but a component with the designation 13-of-13 gender identity is irrelevant...

ASSiMiLATE ThiS!

A story in the STAR TREK universe
Laika Pupkino ~ 2023

PART OO2 – WE ARE BORG

Assimilate This! (1 of 5: Mia)

It was my sixteenth birthday and all my dreams were coming true. We were in my uncle's spaceship, traveling at Warp 8.5 to the famous pleasure planet Risa, where I was scheduled for a miraculous makeover in a modified transporter that would make me a real girl at last!

The 24th Century was a wonderful time to be alive. Trans people like me were understood and supported, medical science had advanced to a point where changing your sex on a genetic level was possible; and all the wars, famines + bigotries that had plagued Mankind since the dawn of history were a thing of the past!

But the Universe was still a dangerous place. And unbeknownst to my two mothers and I every lightyear we traveled was bringing us closer to an unscheduled encounter with the greatest menace anyone in the United Federation of Planets had ever faced... The Borg!

ASSiMiLATE THiS!

A story in the STAR TREK universe
Laika Pupkino ~ 2023

PART OO1 - MIA

Dr. Sleepypuppy

It's Christmas season, 1985. Jack Nemo has had no sleep for several nights in a row. It has been one weird interruption after another for this elderly homeless fellow. Terribly fatigued, he boards a city bus, simply hoping to catch a few z's out of the rain. But little does he realize that this bus---and existence as he knows it---are about to take a detour into a chaotic realm of unrelenting strangeness, presided over by a chthonic entity known as...
 

Dr. Sleepypuppy
by Laika Pupkino

The long road to 100 kudos

In November 2007 I posted a story here called THIS QUINTESSENCE OF DUST. It was my 4th or 5rh work of transgender fiction but it was the first one of any length, and the first I worked really hard on trying to create credible well-rounded characters that I hoped the reader could empathize with. And it was a challenge for me because I wanted them to be a pair of normal cisgender guys who were intelligent and more or less decent and not just buffoonish caricatures. In a way my creating them was my attempt to grow beyond my often misadrist attitudes toward males.

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China bans Sissies!

Apparently the Chinese govt is worried that androgynous trends in Japanese + S Korean
culture will influence theirs and erode their nation's communist revolutionary virility
or some nonsense, so they've banned "sissy men" from appearing on television.
I'm sure they'll soon have some weirdly arbitrary guidelines to determine who
is masculine enough to not be a corrupting influence on the youth of China.
It's part of a much broader crackdown on the rights of their citizens
meant to guard them from what Lenin or somebody termed

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One Fine Day in 2018 (a drabble)

ONE FINE DAY IN 2018
by Laika Pupkino

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“And for your third wish: ABRACADABRA! Congratulations, Madame Secretary!”

“MADAM?! You turned me into a woman!”

“A woman who runs the U.S. Department of Commerce; The job you wished for.”

So it's OK to be trans in the US military again

So apparently transgender people are no longer considered pariahs when it comes to serving in the American military. Most of us knew this was coming, it was pretty much a campaign promise of the current administration, but the Pentagon formally announced its change in policy today. This from the Associated Press: https://news.yahoo.com/reversing-trump-pentagon-release-tran...

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He's A Loser

Say kids, what time is it? Time for another MAD song parody!!!

HE'S A LOSER
(With apologies to Lennon/McCartney)
Laika Pupkino ~ 2020

“The first thing he calls someone he feels has wronged him
is a loser. That’s his main attack word. The worst thing in his world is
to be a loser. To avoid being called a loser he will do or say anything.”

~Jack O'Donell, former manager of Taj Mahal Casino, Atlantic City NJ

A Song for the Dead

We all love a clever, humorous song parody with a transgender twist.
I regret to inform you this isn't one of those lighthearted ditties. It's based on a tune called
People Who Died by Jim Carroll ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt5OZJ1LrbQ )
and is posted in commemoration of Transgender Day of Remembrance 2020

A SONG FOR THE DEAD
by LAIKA

Not a River in Egypt

My patient was determined to “transition” into something he wasn't.
It was my job to get him to face the truth about who + what he was...

Not A River In Egypt
Laika Pupkino – 2020

It was getting near the end of our fifth counseling session and I still hadn't made any headway against his delusions. This was definitely one of my more difficult cases. Every time I thought we were finally getting somewhere he would dig in his heels and I'd run smack into the brick wall of his denial. I sighed, and started again, “Look, we all have feelings, a sense of who we are in the world. But simply feeling like you are something doesn't make you that...”

Alchemy and Essence

An old man on a flight from Southern to Northern California tells the stranger sitting beside him about the famous movie villain that had lived next door to him when he was a boy. An actor once well known for playing pitiless vampires and raving mad scientists, but who in real life had been gentle, caring and kind. And while his fame hasn’t endured the way Lon Chaney's or Bela Lugosi’s have, at the time even the movie critics who panned the low budget films he was in would concede that this startlingly ugly man brought a rare sensitivity to the roles he specialized in. As if he knew these monsters’ private pain.

Then the teller’s story takes a weird left turn. A theory about the actor’s supposed suicide which---as preposterous as it might all sound---would be nice to believe. Saying that rather than having drowned himself on that drizzly spring day in 1941 Max Grosz may have found his way to a second chance at life, and a different kind of movie stardom that would win the hearts of a nation...

ALCHEMY AND ESSENCE
Laika Pupkino ~ 2011 (& 2020)

She Ate Screaming Yellow Zonkers

Non transgender. A heartwarming nostalgic tale about about a close-knit Southern California clan with a firm belief in family values. Manson Family values, that is...

She Ate Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Laika Pupkino ~ 2020

You ever skinned anyone alive? It's really cool, they're like all screaming and shit, but I don't think one person could do it alone. Not with them still alive anyway. And their skin...

It's My Party & I'll Cry if I Want To ~ Part 3

The past few days had not been kind to Janey. The spell that she cast on Halloween night in hopes of becoming Bobby's Girl had come with a side effect so horrible it made her flip out + start tearing up her room, convinced there could be nothing worse than this! Then she was hauled off to jail, which in fact was quite a bit worse. But now Janey was reunited with her family + going home, so at least she knew she wasn't destined to end up in a cage in some Freak Zoo. But what kind of life could a girl who didn't quite officially exist + who wasn't completely a girl anymore look forward to? She sure had made a mess of everything with that stupid magic spell!

Or had she?

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO
The Sequel to BOBBY'S GIRL

Part Three: COMING HOME
Laika Pupkino ~ 2019

It's My Party & I'll Cry if I Want To ~ Part 2

Janey had woken up with a problem. A HUGE problem! On Halloween Night she'd performed a magic spell that she hoped would turn her into a beautiful girl that the boy she was hopelessly infatuated with would want to date, and it had. But her transformation had come with a tragic deformity that dashed all her hopes of ever becoming Bobby's Girl! To make matters worse her parents didn't recognize her now + had refused to believe she was their daughter, and called the cops on her, and now Janey was in jail for tresspassing + possibly some far more serious charges. This was a disaster---a complete and utter cock-up!---and she just knew her life was over...

Or was it?

IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO
The Sequel to BOBBY'S GIRL,

Part Two: Jailtime For Janey
Laika Pupkino ~ 2019

NOTE: IT'S MY PARTY + I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO is a direct sequel to my short 2009 Halloween story BOBBY'S GIRL, which you really need to read first, in order to avoid massive + possibly life threatening spoilers. Here is a link to BOBBY'S GIRL:
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/15425/bobbys-girl

It's My Party & I'll Cry if I Want To ~ Part 1

For 17 years Jane Smith had existed in the margins of everyone else's lives, ignored by classmates and teachers alike. Jane knew her infatuation with Bobby Dukakis was just a useless fantasy---Why would one of the most popular boys at her school show any interest in a shy little mousy nobody like her?---but she couldn't help how she felt! And even just loving him from the shadows brought happiness to her drab anonymous life. But when Jane stumbled across a powerful witch's book of spells she tried to perform one that would transform her into the sort of sexy, confident young woman that Bobby might fall in love with. Janey's first-ever attempt at witchcraft backfired in a truly horrifying fashion, and she just knew her whole life was over!

Which it was, but not in the way she imagined...

IT'S MY PARTY & I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO
(The Sequel To BOBBY'S GIRL)
Part One: ALL HALLOWS DAY
Laika Pupkino ~ 2019

NOTE: You really, really, really need to read my 2009 Halloween story BOBBY'S GIRL before reading this continuation. After you've read it you'll see why I thought it was so important for you to read it first. BOBBY'S GIRL is just 5 little pages in length and can be found HERE:
https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/15425/bobbys-girl

An X is a Kiss but not when playing Scrabble

And Lo, the traveller came at last to the sky's edge. He put down his staff + poked his head thru the fabric of space, beholding the mighty clockwork of the cosmos, the great turning gears, the merry go round and the ferris wheel. He smelled the heavenly corndogs and heard the calliope music. And he said, "Hey wait for me you guys!"

OMG it's a blizzard! I never saw so much fluffy white stuff coming down

...from the cottonwood trees. It looks like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nvaSxXgb6o

It's 90 degrees Fahrenheit here in
Washoe Valley east of the Sierra and I'm in Heaven!
We had a good wet winter and everything's green + blooming
and beautiful with an unusual amount of critters running around;
as if nature went nuts and decided to go for broke this year.

Too bad fire season starts next week.

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Girls of The Big Closet

Angela Rasch wrote a blog a while back called BC IS A SILLY PLACE
Yesterday Jaded Girl commented on that blog, saying it brought to mind
a classic line from the film Monty Python and The Holy Grail:
"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot... Tis a silly place."
Well that got me thinking...

Girls of the Big Closet

Laika Pupkino - 2019

72 HOURS: Strange Love Meets Weird Science - Day 3

My transformation into a mermaid was two thirds complete. In just 24 more hours the state-of-the-art synthetic mermaid tail I'd GLOO'd myself into would be a permanent part of me + there'd be no going back!

Not that I would ever want to. This had been my deepest desire ever since I was a little boy; and each time my mermaid-worshiping fiance asked if I was sure I wanted to go through with this insane scheme my answer was a resounding YES!!

While I realized even the fanciest fake tail wouldn't really turn me into the mythological creature I'd always dreamed of being, I knew I'd be very happy living as the closest thing that reality would allow...

But unbeknownst to me & Greg, impossible changes were occurring within my body that would merge reality with dreams + make our strange fantasies far more real than either of us had dared hope...

72 HOURS: Strange Love Meets Weird Science (meets GLOO!)
Laika Pupkino - 2018
Part 3 of Four

After the Big Game

A 100 word drabble inspired by Bru's short story Cheerleader Material
I'm not sure which State this story takes place in...

AFTER THE BIG GAME
by Laika Pupkino ~ 2018

.

Our defeat at the hands of Middledale High's team was humiliating, the bus ride home was even worse.

72 HOURS: A Very Strange Love Story - DAY 2

I became far more discrete about telling people of the changes I planned to make to my body + the new life I hoped to embark on after I kept hearing stuff like: “No matter how much you mutilate your body or try to pretend, you can't change what you are. It's a simple fact of biology!”

And: “Instead of giving in to this sick fantasy you need to get psychological help, and learn to accept
yourself as the person God made you!”

And also: “How can you be a mermaid when there's NO SUCH THING AS MERMAIDS?!!?”

But a mermaid was who I'd always been in my heart + soul, and life as a human girl felt almost as wrong to me as being a male had. And maybe there was no such thing as mermaids, but if all went according to plan in just 48 more hours there would be: ME!

Madness?! Folly?!! Bizarre Body Modification?!!? Perhaps... But for me and for Greg---my wonderful loving mermaid-obsessed fiancee---turning me into a mermaid was absolutely the right thing to do!!

72 HOURS: A Very Strange Love Story
(with GLOO!)
Laika Pupkino - 2018
Part Two of Four

72 HOURS: A MerMania Romance - Day 1

Greg looked down at me, love + concern in his serious gray eyes. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“For the 10th time, yes! Are you gonna keep asking me that for the next 3 days?”

“Probably. I feel like it'd be irresponsible of me not to. I mean-”

“I'm sure! Unless you're having doubts about wanting me underfoot all the time.”

“Never! I want this as much as you do. But I'm not the one being permanently modified here. Because once this GLOO! sets there's no going back.”

“And that's what's so exciting! The thought of being like this forever.”

“In a fantasy maybe. But part of my mind is saying we're both crazy for doing this!”

“Of course we're crazy! Nobody normal does a thing like this. But this is who I need to be if I'm ever gonna be happy. You read my stories, you know what I am!”

“Yes. You're my beautiful mermaid,” he said, cupping my ears in his hands + kissing me gently on the lips. And then not so gently...

72 HOURS: A Mer-Mania Romance (with GLOO!)
Laika Pupkino - 2018
Part One of Four

Glue Me Sunday

Against her better judgement LAIKA PUPKINO presents::
GLUE ME SUNDAY
(Andrea made me do it!)
Sunday you glued me into a red rubber dress
Dearest the stuff just won't let me undressed
Little white panties to forever arouse you
I wanted black ones you degenerate louse you

“Angel” you told me, “I've still got some more Gloo!
Would you be angry if I thought of joining you
Glue me Sunday

Happy Gets Squashed

The only thing TG about this short story is the part of me who wrote it, back around 1998. My Inner Child is a weird little goober...

Happy Gets Squashed

Laika Pupkino 2018
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MY BOOK REPORT -------- Linda Avery --- ROOM #25
.

THE BIG TRIP UP is a book about a strange place called The Domain. And the story is sort of like that WHO KILLED ROGER RABBIT movie, because it is about characters who I don't think could ever be alive in a World that is REAL like this one, except these are puppets and not Toons, and also there aren't any regular human people in this book until the very end and then only one, and he is dead but then he is alive again...

What About Bob?

With Sarah Goodwoman's kind permission, here is a continuation of her short story WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN, an excellent little tale about the everyday hassles trans people face; which can be found HERE: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/69906/what-about-chil...

Okay, I guess Sarah's story can't be found there, she seems to have removed all her fiction from BCTS after becoming the target of some harassing reprobate political troll. But WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN should show up eventually at Fictionmania. My story begins just a few seconds after hers ends...

WHAT ABOUT BOB?
(What About the Children Part 2)

Laika Pupkino 2017

Too Much of a Goodyear Thing

A bizarre NON-TG comic novella (well I thought it was funny anyway) that I wrote in the 1990's and am just stoned enough to post. Crude raunchy language, sexual + fetish themes, probably not work safe. If I get one kudo and one comment i'll be amazed...

Tommy has very specific tastes in women. They have to be blonde. Blondes with enormous breasts. Blondes with huge breasts who are wearing rubber. And it has to be RED rubber. Needless to say his sex life is mostly a solo affair, confined to some rather specialized fantasies. But this morning his imagined scenarios are taking on a life of their own. Each starts out nice and smutty, until all at once his rubber-clad Goddess realizes her taxes are due today, and then suddenly she's driving them all over searching for 1021-J forms; or whatever. A series of weird side plots taking our hero farther + farther afield from anything the least bit erotic. It is all...

 

TOO MUCH OF A GOODYEAR THING  

by Laika Pupkino
 

sexual assault survivor slams anti-trans group for co-opting her story

“I refuse to allow anyone to use me and my horrific sexual assault to cause harm and discrimination to others...”
,

On March 5th of this year Kelly Herron was assaulted in a park bathroom in Washington state and badly beaten as she fought off her would be rapist and captured him for the police.

Weeks later a friend called her and told her that a group (Just Want Privacy) trying to pass another one of these anti-trans bathroom bills in her state was using photographs of her battered face as proof of what allowing trans people use the "wrong" bathroom would lead to. The group hadn't asked her, and she was really really pissed off at being used by them to promote a bill that she is 100% against and has nothing to do with her being attacked by a cis male rapist.

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Off the Deep End- Apologies for the 6 months (+ counting) delay

To anyone still waiting for the next chapter of my serial OFF THE DEEP END, I sincerely apologize for the delay (I'd make some self-deprecating joke about "my five or six fans" here except I'm afraid that might actually be the case...).

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The Girl with Something Extra

The Girl with Something Extra
(Just a drabble...)
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

I ran into Shay at the station. “How was your date?”

“Another freak...”

“Damn!”

“Dinner was great," she said, "He was charming, funny. I'm thinking: 'Finally! A guy who'll treat me like just a normal girl...' But later he was like all the rest, interested in only one thing, that he wanted to fondle and probably suck on.”

Ewwww!!!!

How They Made Those Turkeys Run

A brain-damaged man residing in an assisted living facility has a battle of wits with the smartest man in the world...

HOW THEY MADE THOSE TURKEYS RUN
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

The smartest man in the world was in Reno and I got to go see him. Because I was by the phone in the kitchen when HAPPY 101.2 had this contest, and because one of the staff people had the radio on, and the phone was unlocked; and so I called and answered their Skull Buster Question. They were giving people one week to figure it out, but it seemed to me like there was only one answer it could be, and I was right. But they got amazed when I called them so quick. Too bad the contest wasn't you got took to Hawaii or something but it was something at least, and the only thing I ever won that I know about.

The Dead Pirate Sketch

And now for something completely derivative...

THE DEAD PIRATE SKETCH
by Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

In a shop call PIRATES PLUS a bored looking shopkeeper is polishing a cutlass. The bell over the front door jingles and a man wearing a long mack enters, awkwardly, trying to open and close the door while wheeling in what appears to be a pirate tied to a dolly.

“I wish to register a complaint! It's about this pirate, that I purchased not a half hour ago for our INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY celebration tonight, at this very boo-tique."

“Ah yes, the Nassau Bluebeard, what's wrong with him?”

“What's wrong with him?! He's DEAD! You sold me a dead pirate!”

Goodbye Themyscira

What happens when a transgender boy grows up in a world where there ARE no males?
From girl to boy, from Amazon to American, from Themyscira to Gotham City...
Kip Trevor's life has been one incredible journey!

GOODBYE THEMYSCIRA
(A sort of Wonder Woman/Justice League fanfic)
Laika Pupkino 2016

Off the Deep End 9 ~ The Little Human Part 3

When I came to I was on the patio deck of the Eureka, with Valerie and her parent gathered around me. Thinking they were rescuing me from drowning they had dragged me on board their yacht, where they tried to remove my “fake” tail and discovered the truth about me. So much for my people's Prime Directive of never letting yourself be seen by humans. I was a bad, bad mermaid!

But this wasn't quite the disaster it could of been. Although they'd found out about me, any trouble this family might bring down on my adopted species was a long ways off. They weren't exactly from around here. It seems that pirates aren't the only ones who can make a wrong turn in the Bermuda Triangle...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 9
THE LITTLE HUMAN Part 3: EUREKA!!!
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 8 ~ The Little Human Part 2

My week as a mermaid continues: My young human friend and I surfaced and sat on a rock, where we could talk without having to use her underwater message pad. I was hoping she might start making sense now, but Valerie's strange stories were growing progressively stranger: Reagan and Kennedy on Mount Rushmore... A transsexual woman giving birth... Peace in Iraq but a war in Antarctica...

I might have decided that she just had a wild imagination, except she also had all this impossible hardware---like the artificial gill she'd been breathing underwater with---which had me wondering if I'd somehow wandered into an alternate universe. Given the kind of week I'd been having this didn't seem like such a crazy notion, but these mysteries had a different explanation that I would eventually discover. It was just a matter of time...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 8
THE LITTLE HUMAN Part 2:
Girl Out Of Time
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 7 ~ The Little Human Part 1

The first thing every mermaid learns is that if you see a human you're supposed to swim away as fast as you can. But the girl in the pink wetsuit was right here in front of me, and there was no way she would think she'd been mistaken about seeing me. My best recourse seemed to be to convince her not to tell anyone about meeting me, and as we talked (or rather I talked, while she typed her words on her neat little electronic message pad) this seemed to be working. But there were things Valerie was telling me here that made absolutely no sense. Either this girl was crazy or the whole universe was. Given the kind of week I'd had, my money was on it being the universe that had gone...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ Chapter 7
THE LITTLE HUMAN Part 1:
The Girl with the Gizmos
Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 6 ~ The White Ship

Today my sister decided to take me landlubbing, which the mermaid equivalent of the human sport of snorkeling- a low tech way to see all the pretty sights of a world that isn't your own. Except that instead of gliding almost effortlessly along through the water, our version has the tortoise-like pace of crawling + squirming over the ground + through the brush, and in some places you're basically rock climbing without feet. It isn't easy. But the little island Anemone had brought me to was so breathtakingly gorgeous it made it all worth it. It had everything you'd hope to find on a tropical isle- from coconut palms to waterfalls. And being uninhabited we could explore it all without running into any humans...

Or so we thought. Until that big white boat pulled into our perfect island's perfect bay, and things got super intense as our pleasant outing turned into a desperate game of hide and seek.

OFF THE DEEP END
CHAPTER 6 ~ THE WHITE SHIP

Laika Pupkino ~ 2016

Off the Deep End 5 ~ Anemone & Enomena Part 3

Our pleasant dinner had degenerated into a loud fight between my mermaid sister & our mom; Anee yelling, “How can you keep harping about how awful land people are if you never even met one?!”

Mom stated flatly: “I know all I need to about them.”

“You think you do, but Daddy liked humans. And he had experiences with them, not just a bunch of ignorant bigotry!”

“I've had dealings with humans before.”

“When? When was this?! I've heard all your stories and you never mentioned-”

“I prefer not to discuss it.”

"Now there's a surprise! 'Ewww, it's unpleasant! Let's not discuss it!'" mocked Anemone. She kept goading Mom, relentlessly, stopping just short of calling her a goddamn liar: “No Mom, I wanna hear this! Tell us! Tell us about your encounter with the horrible evil hewwww-mons-”

I FELL IN LOVE WITH ONE! roared the Queen, slamming her fists down on the table.

She froze there, stunned; like she'd just blurted out a secret she'd intended to take to the grave with her. Then she sighed, composed herself + told us her story...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 5
ANEMONE & ENOMENA Part 3:
Wild Kingdom
Laika Pupkino 2016

Off the Deep End 4 ~ Anemone & Enomena Part 2

My sister and I had about as much fun as two mermaids can have that week.
.
On Monday she took me on a tour of the village up the hill from our castle, where everyone was curious to get a look at me. The whole ocean knew about Queen Atlantea's magically created second daughter by now; who as rumor had it was: “Beautiful, but dumb as a sea cow!“ But nobody was mean to their idiot princess. They all tried to look out for me, to make sure I wouldn't go kissing an electric eel or something.
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As we sat at a table in Shellcastle's town square an adorable little girl came swimming up to us with a sea lily in her hand. The fry was confused that there seemed to be two Princess Anemones until I pointed; and she handed my twin the flower-animal before grabbing her in a hug.
.
And now the tiny mermaid wanted to hug me too. If this was celebrity I could get used to it...

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 4
ANEMONE & ENOMENA PART TWO
A Song For Future Generations
Laika Pupkino 2016

Things I think about when falling asleep...

It was the summer of 1940. In order to celebrate the progress made in Spain under Fascism, Francisco Franco decided to hold a grand exposition in Madrid, that would be as big and impressive as any world's fair, but it would be an all-Spanish affair, highlighting progress and prosperity and culture from every city and province.

But the dictator's timetable for the construction and opening of his exposition was hopelessly optimistic, and rumors began circulating of workers dying on the job, and that some of the pavilions seemed like they wouldn't hold together for the two months that the thing was supposed to last. The Department of Public Safety got wind of these rumors, and they sent a building inspector down to the exposition grounds to see what was going on.

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Off the Deep End 3 ~ Anemone & Enomena Part One

OFF THE DEEP END ~ CHAPTER 3
ANEMONE & ENOMENA PART ONE
Mermaid Princess: First Day on the Job
Laika Pupkino 2016

Way back in another life---before I was kidnapped by pirates and jumped overboard in the dead of night and almost drowned but got turned into a mermaid by a genie from a bottle---my friend Pepper used to say how I was lucky to not have any siblings. Every visit, texting or phone call had at least one epic tale about the latest fight with her sister or how the little brat would borrow Pepper's things without asking, and then lose them or just leave them laying somewhere half wrecked...

But I could never quite believe that having a sister like Ginger wasn't good at least as often as it was bad. After being an only child for all my life, being twins with a mermaid princess was.... WoNDeRfuL!!!!

Maybe if Anemone and I had grown up together it wouldn't seem so special, but I was too new to this life to take any part of it for granted. It was hard to feel like there was anything worth fighting about when just brushing my long soft golden hair put me on a total high, if I wasn't already on one from having woke up in my clam shell bed that morning to discover: “Yep, still a princess!”

Anemone had been an only child until now too, and she was loving us being sisters as much as I was. We went everywhere and did everything together, and all the ocean's dolphins and whales and sea turtles, the fish, the stars, the shrimps and lobsters (but not so much the crabs...) and even the unbelievably stupid sponges were our friends.

Off the Deep End 2 ~ Fun With Your New Tail

“Good. You're awake,” said a girl's voice.

“Huh? Whah?” I burbled groggily at the pretty fish-girl I saw hovering in front of me. She looked about sixteen and was about the cutest girl I'd ever seen. Definitely the cutest mermaid.

I was in a beach chair in the seashell castle's courtyard. My legs felt weird and fat and there was something sitting on my chest. She said, “Please don't panic, but in order to save your life we had to-”

Of course when she said don't panic like that it's exactly what I did do, but only for a second. I looked down and saw what was on my chest. It was my chest. Beneath these two rather impressive breasts my waist narrowed and then flared out into girlish hips that were covered in beautiful jade green scales, which continued down the long sleek shiny tail I now had for legs. I wagged it back + forth experimentally. And this stuff floating around my face wasn't some kind of seaweed but my hair, super long and shimmering like gold.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God,” was all I could say. “Oh my God! My God! My God!”

This summer vacation was turning out to be the strangest week of my life. Or maybe of anyone's...

OFF THE DEEP END
Chapter 2 ~ FUN WITH YOUR NEW TAIL

Laika Pupkino 2016

Off the Deep End 1 ~ "ARRRRRRR!!!"

My name is Susan Donnelly, and this is the story of what happened to me on my summer vacation in 2014. The doctors couldn't explain how I could disappear for a week and come back turned into a girl but I can, even if it sounds insane. “Trauma induced hallucination” is what Dr. Morris is calling my story.

Like I am so traumatized! This is what I'd always wanted, and I couldn't be happier! But people will only believe what they can believe and that isn't me, apparently. And while my parents do believe my whole odyssey actually happened (having read my classified case file), when it comes to other people they’re sticking to the story that I’d been intersex all along...

But I can’t blame them for not wanting folks to think our whole family is nutso enough to buy a story like mine. Because with the pirates, the mermaids, moonmaids, genies, fairies, tentacle aliens, time travelers, jackalopes and those sinister government Men Without Hats, it was like reality itself had gone...

OFF THE DEEP END
CHAPTER ONE: “A-A-AARRRRR!!!!!”

Laika Pupkino 2016

Well isn't that just PURRfect?!

I don't know if this woman is making fun of us with performance art, or if she
really is a cat at heart, but her trans-species situation seems like what the critics
of transgender people always warned would happen if they allowed us to exist;
and I fear this will be grabbed onto as somehow implicating us as delusional,
with that peculiar logic of transphobes...

YAHOO ARTICLE ABOUT WOMAN WHO BELIEVES
SHE IS A CAT TRAPPED IN A HUMAN BODY:
http://news.yahoo.com/this-woman-believes-that-she-is-a-cat-...

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