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I have been reading about Leelah Alcorn, and even though I never knew her in life, I find myself feeling a strong connection with her death.
Because I've been where she was.
Two times I had a plan, and came within moments of carrying it out, and once I simply found myself with a knife at my wrist not even remembering putting it there.
I have tried to "pray away the trans" as hard any person could, and with every bit of sincerity I possess.
I have been to Christian councilors looking for someone to "cure" me.
I have wondered if God hated me.
And yet, here I am, living and working as a woman, and my faith is stronger than ever.
What I would say to Leelah if I could, and anybody who feels like she did, that there is hope. 17 is far too young to decide your life is gonna suck forever. There could be something awesome waiting for you just down the road a bit, if only you keep traveling.
Be kind to each other this New Year, and be kind to yourself as well. And let's make a commitment to try everything we can to make things better for everybody.
Huggles to everybody.
Now, I think I'm gonna cry for a bit ...
Comments
Happy New Year Hugs, and a
Happy New Year Hugs, and a hankie to dry the tears.
LeeLah's story
What we experience at the hands of others can be just awful. The Cincinnati Enquirer ran the story and did so very sympathetically. I hope that the coverage will bring change to some attitudes. Failing that, those who hate and control others will one day die out, and hopefully more of their kind will not be raised to infest humanity with their wrong headed thinking.
The faith community can be so cruel and I think that in the last 10 years there has been real change in attitudes.
Much peace
Gwen
Leelah
The story has been carried in Facebook, and in Cincinnati's Lgbt community. One of her defenders is an openly gay city councilman.
I am sure that her Mother is heart broken, but she had no clue about who her "son" Josh Alcorn really was. No one knows how this will play out. She's obviously been in denial about the whole matter, and tried to "pray it away". No doubt that her and perhaps her husbands' pain are real, but they may never realize the responsibility they bear in the death of their "son", who was no son at all but their daughter.
Many of us have faced similar situations growing up, my own being freshest in my memory. It is confusing how those around us can be so blind to who we really are. I have sufficiently grieved about my own misfortunes. The flames of hatred both of myself and of my perpetrators have burned out and there is no need to talk about it other than to commiserate about her plight.
Hopefully those who "murdered" her will think about how it all happened.
Gwen
True monsters.
Her mother was an unrepentant asshole. Read her tumblr post, they literally tortured her, took her out of school because she came out as "gay", took away her friends, her cell phone, her internet and literally only let her see a Conversion therapist.
And her parents have the gall to try to erase her existence by posting that it was an accident not a suicide. And no respect, they will bury her in a suit under her dead name.
Her parents can die in a fire.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
So glad you didn't snuff it, Dorothy
You're a positive force in this world, you write some great stuff, and your hope is contagious (even your lapses into doubt and despair are endearing, if no fun for you, they show an honest human struggle (we're getting into heavy parenthetical country here so stay with me...)----2 steps forward and 1.9 back, but hey you're getting there, {wherever "there" is, I've never been there but I know where it isn't...}----instead of what a chronic cynic like me might otherwise try to call a façade. It's an honor and a joy to know you.
And I wish you could have talked to poor Leelah, to be an example of what's possible, before she decided she couldn't go on. So many teens, not just transgender, just can't seem to grasp that there's a long view, that the world won't always be Mom and Dad and the torments of high school. I read about her yesterday at Yahoo News, and then like some cartoon masochist whapping herself on the konk with a mallet I read way many hateful ignorant comments, and then I wrote a very short poem. I'm not a poet, I average about one a year and it's usually goony doggerel (I'm on shaky ground with free verse); but this bitter snippet popped into my head. It's is more for those commenters than to or about her:
.
ON A SUICIDE IN THE NEWS
She. Her.
Give her that at least.
When someone's dead you can stop beating them.
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
you made me blush, Laika
I appreciate the kind words, hon.
And your poem is pretty dam powerful for being only three lines long.
Super big huggles, hon.
Good for you.
And yeah, I know what if feels like to pray those feelings away.