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This is my first post and may also be my only one. I am not a writer though I have been known to write an occasional poem or two when inspiration has struck me, and I am a member of a formal creative writing group organised at my local "Mind" ( UK Mental health organisation/charity) center.
I am a reader, one of the eternal Watchers, reading every day that I am physically able to. Some of you may have noticed my sign in I'D here on occasion or a rare comment or like here or there on FB posts so I thought I might post a bit about myself here.
If anyone wants to know about my childhood then watch the Movie " Billie Elliot" because that is the time and atmosphere I grew up in and also very nearly the place because if he had not been a fictional character then he and I would have been born arround the same time in the same Maternity Hospital ( long since closed and demolished) and my own home town was only 2 towns away from where the story was both set and filmed, with the Coal Mine his dad worked at connected to the one that my Grandad had worked in, by a deep underground railroad, though my dad himself was a surface worker who worked at the fairly nearby Stores depot which supplied equipt and stores to every Coal Mine in NE England.
Where Billy Elliot found his escape in dance, I found my own in Books and though I was in a remedial reading class until I was 8, by the time I was 13, I was already finding my way into the adult sections of my local library having read all of the Fantasy and SF in the kids section.
Books were and still are better suited to me for a very big reason, Viruses. When I was only 6 months old I contracted Viral Meningitis and by age 8 I had already had Measles, German Measles, and Mumps in addition to far too many cases of Flu. So just as I was learning to read books without pictures I went and caught Scarlet Fever followed soon after by my first bout of Glandular Fever. My immune system never fully recovered and even on the verge of adulthood at age 17 when my eye problems began, I went and caught Chickenpox on the day of ( and just after) my final exam of my first college course which hit me for 6 weeks and left my body covered with scars that are still visible now 25 years later.
4 years ago aged 38 I was diagnosed by a Psychiatrist as being Transgendered and at about this time last year I made my second serious suicide attempt, waking up afterwards in a CCU with 13 IV drips in me.
This is not the whole story of my life but is as much as I can bear to type here. If anyone wants to contact me then feel free to look me up on Facebook
Comments
This link might help you.
Here is a link you might want to try: http://forum.lauras-playground.com/forums/index.php?act=idx
The people there will help you getting some contact resources for your problems, and offer you suggestions where how to go about getting medical help. Such, as which types of professionals to contact first.
It is clear that your mind and body have been through the ringer for decades. You need some serious help. Both mentally and physically.
As such, I will say again, I suggest you go to that forum. The members of that forum are polite. And Facebook can turn very ugly. And in your fragile state, that could make things worse for you. And you need as much help as you can get.
Good luck. And I hope you recover.
how true
about FB what ever you post there about your self or some else everyone can see it and use it some ppl can be very mean
Facebook
I know and am well aware of all of the problems and issues of Facebook. I have been using it since very nearly it was first created and under other identities I am a known Troll hunter so don't tend to get that many problems with other users, thanks for the link! Though I am already a member of a few other support groups both on and offline
You need to lay off the hunt.
Given your situation. I highly suggest you lay off the troll hunting. Dealing with all the negativity, day after day, can and will bring you emotionally down. And by you own admission, you just tried to kill yourself. The last thing you need is to get upset, or have someone bring down you day even more.
I hope you are still with us.
I hope you are recovering well, and you have begun to receive the aid that you need.
Oops sorry, my suicide
Oops sorry, my suicide attempt, my last one anyway was just over a year ago now and though the actual trigger was linked with my volunteering activities which I have now decided to severely limit, the actual major underlying cause was physical pain from the Rare type of Migraine that I also suffer from permanently and without hope of a cure. The Migraine is the cause of optical Hyper sensitivity to light, which in addition to regular lazy eye makes me visually impaired and thus a white cane user. The pain I live with every day would without regular strong painkillers be like having white hot needles pushed into my eyes, though the worst part of it is the lack of hope without any cure even on the horizon