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I've discovered that the basic article is true. You need to be brave to transition.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mac-scotty-mcgregor/four-thing...
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Comments
Not bad for hitting the highlights
The problem most writers have with transgender is they discuss all the negative aspects without giving any answers to those situations. One of the easiest ways for trans to be accepted is to move away from all she or he has known. They are starting a new life so start it with "a new life". If one is accepted by family and friends of course it is a whole lot better solution but it doesn't always happen. That person killed the son or daughter they knew and accepting the replacement is a bigger hurdle than most people can handle.
Money is usually a problem. It costs a fortune to change gender all the way. The psychoanalysis is damn expensive and long and drawn out over years for them to get that doctor's okay. Then the MD has to do another okay. Did I forget the cost of the very expensive meds and new wardrobe along the way? Is it any wonder so many self medicate with questionable drugs and doses from overseas pharmacies? They know what they want. All those roadblocks in their way is not to stop them but to salve the fears of those looking at them. For the most part it scares the absolute sh-- out of those looking on. They have NO IDEA what could cause one to self mutilate themselves in THAT manner. Is it any wonder they were labeled mental from the very beginning?
I believe TG should find it as easy as a woman looking for breast implants. I love the story from one TG who said she contacted a surgeon and the conversation went like this.
Surgeon "Are you positive this is what you want?"
Patient "Yes."
Surgeon "Sign this consent form releasing me of all responsibility if you decide later this wasn't what you wanted."
He signed the form.
Surgeon "Next week after you sign in everyone will be calling you Miss when you check out."
The story took place in England a long long time back.
Life is meant to be lived not worn until it's worn out. Live your dream if possible. Give others the chance to live theirs without judging them for who or what they are until they proved otherwise.
All my love to all those living in that boy-girl gender blender and all those who support them.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Running bulls of Spain
all end up being killed in the bullring so not the best simile. It's also easier to transition now than it was thirty or forty years ago, though much of it depends upon how you deal with people. If you ask people for their help not insist upon your right to do things, they will usually support you, at least that worked for me thirty years ago.
Angharad
This article hits the highlights for those who shoot too high...
For most of us, even interested in transitioning, we aren't possessed of the body that will easily transition into high fashion. We are thick in the middle balding on top and carrying around boats for feet.
If you shoot for the level of acceptance that your body type and 'beauty' level allows you will find a lot more acceptance.
Personally I'm borderline ugly without being too masculine in appearance. I have never been dragged through the mud. I swim and sit in the hot tub but like 99% of us I wear a suit.
I shower at the gym and have never had anyone say something awful to me because I'm not attractive. They can see that I'm not trying to be something I'm not.
A lot of girls learn in their teen years what society will accept from them. They push the boundaries and and they push back sometimes with violence, bullying and emotional torture.
You do have to be brave... but its not as dangerous as people let on. So long as you don't go places alone (like any woman) and stay away from sexual situation.
I realise we are at risk as a group but a HUGE percentage of us aren't at the kind of risk that those of us who literally gave their life to it. They didn't do it on purpose! Outside forces very much beyond their control and likely came without any warning they could avoid.
I know more than a dozen TSs who transitioned and didn't face even a single night of tears as a result. I personally only know about a dozen but I'm sure others have spent the night cowering in their houses squeezed into space between the couch and the wall. MOST of use will not experience that level of anxiety, fear or self loathing.
I don't mean to discount that it takes bravery... but frankly in our situation... The things mentioned in the article are the least of your worries. So you can't bath in public naked? I'm sure a very high percentage of us doesn't have that option pre-transition either. The other terrible things like having to do 2x the work for half the kudos and for 0.87cents on the dollar or even less most of us would take on with a light heart just to be accepted by our feminine peers.
We don't transition to be a high fashion model. (well a high percentage doesn't).
Anyway I feel I'm rambling now so I'll cut this short.
Dayna.
I hear both sides of this discussion.
I've lived the "easy" side of it. My transition has been virtually devoid of "bad" stuff...however!
I've also talked to many who have lost everything and been treated as if they had contracted leprosy or AIDS.
I think a lot of transition depends on whether one has REAL friends as opposed to friends of convenience. As for families... well, I can only speak for my own. Most have accepted, but some don't like that Cathy has replaced their brother/uncle... whatever. Almost all my friends pre-transition are still friends.
Speaking to the "fashion model thing" ... well, when I look in the mirror some days, all I see is Broderick Crawford in drag. I ain't pretty and I'm okay with that... most of the time. Oh, there ARE those times when I see a really devastating cute dress and after lusting after it, I realize that dresses like that are made for, designed for, women who weigh a pound or two above starving to death, not those of us who are gravitationally enhanced/challenged.
And, on those days when I see Broderick in the mirror... well, I always kinda liked his acting and I realize that, like I said, I am okay with the resemblance.
There is another, seemingly ignored part of transitioning and that is attitude. If you go anywhere with your eyes downcast and looking like you're expecting trouble... it will find you. If, on the other hand, you go out and "do your thing" with a smile on your face and confidence, you most likely won't be bothered all that much.
EXAMPLE and explanation. When you are out shopping, the less attention you draw to yourself, the less likely anyone is going to make an issue over whether you are what you are presenting yourself to be or not. It's my experience that, when people are out shopping, they are on a mission to find whatever it is they're shopping for, not in whether that person over there is a woman or a man. If they see a few obvious clues, like makeup, or long, decent looking hair, or an obviously female figure, that's as far as their questioning minds go.
What I'm saying is that if you go out, secure in who and what you are, you will be taken as eactly that, except in occassional rare occurrances. I go into stores with a smile on my face, dressed to fit in with almost all the other women are wearing and I have almost never been troubled...Walmart excepted. There are some STRANGE people haunting Walmarts for some reason.
Anyway, down I step frrom my soapbox. As always, your mileage may differ. Feel free to pick my post apart.
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
I've looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose ....
So what else is new? I knew a bit of it from the 'dry run' days before transitioning formally. I was attractive enough crossdressed (no hormones yet) that I got my share of attention. It was not wanted attention as voice was not there yet and could not deal with it.
Going through transition is another form of social transition. Being an ABC child of FOB Chinese parents it confuses one what kind of expectations of social pressure is when one transitions from home life to public American life and onwards to Professional Life.
Acceptance by people will always be a problem in life when one has to do radical changes. A lot of the stuff mentioned is a rehash that anyone who goes through therapy should have prepared them for.
It all comes down to is it worth it to you? Hell, do you really have a choice?
I am M->F so I must be a bit biased a bit but the loss of the emotional closeness that women are better at sharing would be the most bitter for me if I were F->M. For young men who transition early, not so much but for ones who transition later in life who has experienced the positive side of female social life I can see where it would hurt pretty badly as it is innate to all people to feel sad at being rejected or feared, regardless of gender.
Having grown up with boys/men I understood what my former sex was capable of and what the way they think. I carried that with me as I transitioned, I can guarantee that!