Completion

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An author once challenged me for posting a comment to one of her stories that I had not finished reading, from which I had bailed out early. I remarked that, were I to wait for completion before writing my own life’s story, it would have to be after I had crossed over to the other side…in which case, I would need to employ a “ghost” writer. Having just read The Old Alhambra and A Gift for Alex, I am sure I know who I would like that ghost writer to be. I do not know which pub you most frequent, Fleurie, nor what your favourite tipple may be, but there must have been something special at the bottom of that last pint. Should I ever make it across the Pond in this lifetime or after, the next round is on me.

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Fleurie

Fleurie's "Deception of Choice" was published at a time when I was in the midst of my own transition that began unexpectedly at Christmas time of 2004. David's trials and my own seemed to run quite parallel at the time. I was asking the same questions and having many of the same feelings as he was. By February of 2005, I sorely needed to commiserate with someone having the same struggles.

The pleasure of becoming what I always was being spoiled by the accusations and condemnation of my family. I often thanked Fleurie for writing such a tale. It was most helpful in navigating the insane passages of my own life.

The end of that story was inconclusive and lacked justice, just as real life, and mine often do also.

Gwen

Forced femme

Aljan Darkmoon's picture

Hi Gwen,

David's trials and my own seemed to run quite parallel at the time.

I saw the comment you left for Deception of Choice. From that and some of your other comments, I gather that someone similarly hijacked your life and took your choices from you, and that you did not especially enjoy the experience. I am sorry that happened to you. :"(

Some of my choices were also taken from me, though, except for one occasion that I can recall (recovered memory), the experience was not so overtly coercive. I experienced bullying at home, at school, in the scouts, and in many other places. Coupled with my background, the experience left me feeling like a helpless victim most of the time. It has been the work of a lifetime (and done mostly under fire) for me to grow a backbone and reclaim even a portion of my power to stand up and say “No!” What doesn’t kill us often leaves us broken, impaired, and a lifetime of struggling toward recovery; Nietzsche’s platitude about it making us stronger is frequently a crock.

For these reasons, forced or coerced femme stories where the protagonists just surrender and go with it push all the wrong buttons in me. If caught and imprisoned, and all efforts to resist and escape failed, I imagine I would choose suicide or withdrawal into complete catatonia before I would allow myself to become a hapless, helpless victim—they can have my body, I would swear to myself, but they will never have my mind, nor my willing cooperation.

Though rare in the genre, I can appreciate forced femme stories where the protagonist successfully resists and eventually escapes captivity. Otherwise, I avoid such stories like the plague.

Nevertheless, I did read the beginning of Deception of Choice because I wanted to see how Fleurie handled it. What I found were the same standard tactics employed to break down people’s resistance and open them to suggestion and persuasion (what is generally called “brain washing” or “mind control”) that I have read elsewhere, and actually experienced on a 3-day retreat that purported to recreate a “male initiation” experience.

During his live performance on Soundstage in 2005, just before singing Peacekeeper, Lindsey Buckingham quoted an anonymous “someone I know” as saying, “When love is gone, there’s always justice; when justice is gone, there is always force.” Like you, I find little real justice among people. So, I just do what I can, for whatever time I have left.