Why men don't make good advise columnists

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I saw this joke today and I had to repost it here. I felt it was somewhat fitting...

Walter's Problem Page

Dear Walter:
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my
husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a
few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car
shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I
got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the
wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was
wearing my make-up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married
for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he
had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear.
But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that
he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I
would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says
he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him
very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become
increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can
you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila Usk

Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no
debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding
the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches
solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty,
causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.
Walter

Nick B's picture

Dear Walter:

Did it cure the problem?

I find Red-X to be a very good product for those kinds of issues. Short of that, I know a very good garage that are reasonably priced and don't try and rip you off.

NB

Jessica
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Nick B's picture

Oh and by the way

I have a particularly nice shade of red lippy he might find attractive

Jessica
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

The answer is obvious ...

Given you and your husbands age you likely have a later model car with fuel injection. A severly clogged fuel filter is a common and cheap culpret. A failing electric fuel pump is another. Any honest garage can easily test these for you you. Make sure they check your on-board diagnostics for any error codes that might help them. Plus inspect for simple causes such as a tripped emergency fuel cuttoff, loose wires or vacumn lines and if there is gas in the tank. A failed computer or ignition module is possible but less likely. A few tests will save time and much money.

As to your husband's cross dressing and depression, I suggest you buy him lots of alcohol. If you have any prescription tranquilizers around, give them to him. It won't solve the problem but he will not notice when you do out to get some on the side. The odds of him ever being any good in the sack again are about the same as Bush winning a third term as President. P.S. Are you attractive and in the Milwaukee WI area? You know balding guys make the best lovers.

Hope this helps,

Irresponcible John in Wauatosa

P.P.S. Snicker, gufaw, snort. We needed this after the news from Edeyn's twin sister.

Actually, One Man...

...is a very excellent advice columnist, Dan Savage, who writes "Savage Love" and is also editor of the Seattle alternative weekly newspaper "The Stranger" (http://thestranger.com). He's the very reincarnation of Ann Landers, if Ann Landers was a gay man who published explicit sex advice, that is.

Nick B's picture

Ahhh

But can he fix the car?

Jessica
I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Did you hear the one.....

Q- How many butch lesbians does it take to change a tire?

A- One(No Jack necessary)

Q- How many femme lesbians does it take to change a tire?

A- Two. One to call AAA, the other to complain she broke a nail. :)

Einstein described insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the result to change. Was Albert a reader of TG fiction then?

Daniel, author of maid, whore, bimbo, and sissy free TG fiction since 2000

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.- Oscar Levant

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