Well, after my marriage imploded, I was ready to try and find out why I behaved like I did. My first stop in this journey was a christian counsiling center. They promiced a "cure" for gays and Tg, and I was desperate. The consilor was into Jung and dream interpertation, and encouraged me to write everything down. So not long after I started, I had a flashback and grabed a pen and paper and started to write. I had no idea what I was writing until I finished and read it. It was a graphic description of one of my assaults. I started to feel ill. I soon lost my job because now I couldnt stop thinking about it. I also lost my grandmother, who had been one of the few people who knew my secret and loved me anyway. I then lost the home I was staying in. I found a new job, and lasted 6 months. Now things were getting desperate. Then, out of the blue, I wrote a story called "The saga of E-Girl", and even though I didnt know it, I was on my way back up.