Following on from the court hearing last Friday I spent Saturday arranging the forthcoming family trips and visits. Of course, Christmas is only 9 weeks away now.

The court order said I had to take my daughter to see her mother (and the ex mother-in-law) at the end of November, during the Christmas holidays and during the Spring half-term. Not too difficult or onerous. The added complication, so far as the legal team were concerned, is that the Christmas visit must involve two days and a hotel stayover.

A hotel at Christmas? Not quite, I settled on the 29th & 30th of December, but still difficult - early booking recommended.

So I wondered, what if I could get my son here for Christmas and take him to see his mother & nan between Christmas and New Year? A very sketchy plan so far, but I sent this by text to the ex and her mother.

Imagine my surprise when the ex m-i-l calls my daughter's phone and asks to speak to me! That was not expected. She was polite and asked if she was supposed to receive the text, I said she was. I think it was her turn to be surprised.

Since that call, my mother has spoken to her twice. We've found out that the ex had lied to her own mother, feeding her duff information. The missing £11k is still missing but now the ex won't confirm her previous story of where it went. Curious. The ex m-i-l was asked for a list of birthdays, as well as addresses, for her side of the family, this arrived by post today and has been input into Google Calendar for my 2 children.

So yesterday I called the aunt (who has my son) to talk about Christmas. No such luck, she's mad at me for my arrangements this weekend. My son is travelling on a through train, but I'm getting on at about half way between his local station and his destination in East Anglia (the knobbly bit that sticks out of the UK East coast).

Anyway, a month or two when I planned this, no-one was available to accompany my son so I took the decision to allow him to travel independently. Of course he would have a reserved (named) seat, his mobile phone and the onboard staff would be aware. I booked tickets accordingly.

Yesterday I was told he would not get on that train alone, the aunt wouldn't allow it. I accused her of deliberately preventing him from having a holiday. (Perhaps a bit of overkill but I'd not long come off the phone from the CSA - grrrrrrr).

The issue is only £25 (twice) for the chaperone to reach the station where I'll be. But, if she had agreed this weeks ago, it could have been much cheaper as I use budget tickets (that have to be bought weeks before you travel).

I wrote an email to my solicitor explaining all of the visiting arrangements but adding that if I didn't arrange this, no-one would. I told him that these things have to be (for the most part) booked a month beforehand and that last minute changes are not cheap (you throw away all your cheap tickets and pay the full fare).

An hour later I had a reply from him, with a copy of a letter from the aunt's solicitor that claimed I'd been "heavy" on the phone and had gone back on an agreement (eh? what?) She must have been on the phone to her brief as soon as I'd hung up on her. Is this a sign of things to come?

I spent 20 mins on the phone with my solicitor today, I do have to pay the extra £25 - no choice - but I wanted the problem of last minute alterations aired. I'd love for someone else to sort out the logistics for bring a 12 year old 270 miles across the country on a mostly antiquated rail network. The quickest I can manage to collect him and bring him back here is 11 hours. My GP would not be impressed.

But no, only I it seems wants to do anything for the family. The ex doesn't acknowledge my texts, she just turns up at the right place on the right day. The ex m-i-l looks like she'll be more involved (for now) but the aunt will now probably demand a fee for escort/bodyguard duties. And I book tickets, hotels, send out the tickets, tell everyone their schedule etc etc. Not much really.

Roll on Saturday, will my son be on that train? I hope so. I've transferred the money for the extra ticket to his account, the aunt's not getting it.

Topsy

(I told my son he could spend £10 of the money I'd transferred, my daughter saw this and asked where her's was ....)