struggling with felling pathetic

Printer-friendly version

Author: 

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

I am just about to go out to meet my friend dressed as Dorothy, but I am struggling. It's hard not to see what I look like in a mirror, and think "Who the heck do I think I am fooling? I don't look like a woman, I look like a bad joke, a man in drag pretending. I wish I could turn off that "tape" once and for all. I fear that as long as I hear that message, I am not going to make real progress.

Comments

who is that man in drag?

I remember being horribly self conscience (sp?) when I went out early on.

But being tallish, morbidly obese, balding, and no wig... It was hard not to see the man in the mirror and be afraid and ashamed.

However I perservered and one day he went away... I knew from experience that people saw what I couldn't see until one day I caught a glimpse of what they see. Over the weeks and monthes it was me in the mirror...

Its a lot like wearing 'women's' clothing... In the beginning the clothes look and maybe feel wierd... what ever made you think you could do this wierd... but soon they aren't "women's clothing" they're "MY clothes" and then you will find passing easier...inside and out.

You have to keep going until a certain non-chalance about it comes to you. For some its 20 minutes... for most of us its weeks or months.

hang in there,

Nobody.

As A Matter Of Fact, You Do Own The World.

Please do not construe that I am recommending that you "come out". That is a decision for each person to make on their own; sometimes with great cost. I don't think it was worth it.

Having given the appropriate disclaimer:

Practice, NOT furling your brows. Girls don't do it.

Practice, keeping your eyes, like way open. Girls eyes are like that naturally.

When you look at another woman and she catches you, keep looking and flash a short smile at her. Look only at her eyes, and nothing else. This is the girl's pat on the back.

Reach deep within your self. You own the world. You have a right to be. You are doing nothing wrong. You are not guilty.

Practice the things above constantly. If your gonna be a woman, "Make it so".

Much peace

Gwendolyn

Stay Happy

Hey Dot STAY HAPPY , DON'T LEY THE MIRROR GET TO YOU a friend of mine once said she see the 16 year old she once was SO look in the mirror and she the bueatiful WOMAN you are ENJOY your play date HUGS & KISSES HONEY FROM RICHIE