A week before the schools closed for the Christmas break I left home early one morning and travelled North, arriving at my son's school some fifteen minutes prior to my due time.

I had a meeting with the Inclusions Manager whom I had last met in September, the day after my son finally started at that school. Generally she was very happy with him and there were few problems. French is his poorest subject, art and sport his bests.

I met him as school finished and we spent the afternoon/evening together. We met again the following morning (a Saturday) and spent some time shopping, his trainers were falling apart, literally. The aunt was still absent so he was largely fending for himself, even though his two adult cousins were there.

The following week the Social Worker visited me at home and met my daughter as she finished school for the day. They spent 30 minutes talking before I sat with the SW. There were ongoing difficulties in persuading the relevant authorities to inspect the aunt's house 300 miles away. The SW suggested that she could undertake the inspection herself early in the new year.

She told me that, following my meeting with her two weeks earlier, she had separately interviewed the ex and her mother. The ex was told that she cannot expect to regain either child nor expect prolonged contact, that rules out overnights and holidays. I was not party to anything else that was discussed.

On the 23rd I collected my son at London's Euston station and accompanied him the rest of the way to Essex. That was the start of a fantastic Christmas, the first in three years that I'd spent with my children.

Unfortunately there was little time to sit and talk, we had one spare day in the eight he was here. Christmas day however was magical, a real chance for the children to be surprised. A toast was made at the dinner table for 'absent friends', I just hope that they included their maternal family.

On the 29th myself and the children headed South to meet with their mother and nan. The trains gave me grief so we arrived slightly late but everyone was good natured. One thing was obvious though, there was no affection. My daughter gave me a kiss as I left but there was no contact between her and her mother. My son, naturally, didn't take his hands out of his pockets.

Just under five hours later I met my children and their nan so we could head to the hotel. Their mother had left after just two hours. Something else, the ex didn't pay for her own bus ticket or her lunch. Neither kid has received a present or even a card from their mother. My son genuinely didn't expect anything, my daughter was ever-hopeful.

Under the terms of the court order we were staying overnight so the family could meet the following morning. Only the nan (ex m-i-l) was willing. As it was, both kids were unwell and, under different circumstances wouldn't even had made the journey.

I made this point to the to the SW when she met us at the hotel. This was the first time she'd met my son and only two weeks since she last met my daughter. There was very little feedback from the SW but plainly no concerns about my ability to care for them.

So, what's next? I'm moving towards the endgame. My son's current residence has to be inspected within two weeks and all parties have to write a court statement by the end of the month; we hit court on Feb 21st. That will draw a permanent line under my daughter's legal status.

My son remains the ongoing issue. He plainly enjoyed his stay here (having returned North yesterday morning) and wants to be back for half term in six weeks, then again at Easter. I'm not planning on putting words in his mouth to persuade him to stay, that would only rebound on me in court. I can, however, lead him in the right direction. There's not enough time before the next court date to resolve it so I'm aiming for the end of the school year in July. Anything earlier would be a bonus.

2010 was full of changes, for 2011 I would like stability and lower legal costs.

Topsy