my ex confuses me

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I'm having trouble figuring out my ex. Yesterday, after the Christmas do at my brother's, I took my daughter home, and since I didn't have to work, I came into my ex's house for a bit. While I'm there, my ex starts playing with my hair, complimenting me on its softness and length, and making suggestions to help cover up my bald spot. Then today, when I was dropping off my daughter, she noticed I now have pink gloves, and gave me the third degree for their color. Like I said, she confuses me.

Beverly Taff's picture

Oh come on Dot!

That's what we girls are like. Your ex still hasn't come fully to terms with your situation and she's still having girly days.
Be gentle with her no matter what's gone before.

Hugs and Happy Solstice.



Growing Old Disgracefully

The Palace, Sept 4th 1.jpg

Growing old gracefully? (I doubt it.)

Confusing ex

Maybe she's still pretty confused too, and that's why all the erratic and inconsistant responses, the mixed messages?

Lisa Dani

(edit: or yeah, what Bev said...)

She still has feelings


She still has feelings (Love) for you. When you brought your daughter back from a Christmas gathering, your X got into the Holiday spirit, and her actions reflected that.It was also late in the day, and she was likely calm and collected. This morning the holiday spirit was gone, it was the A.M., maybe she and your daughter had a tough morning and she decided to turn that against you. It could also be the sight of your hair was sesuous while the site of pink gloves recalled what causes the friction. Do the best you can.




Perhaps she thought your pink gloves clashed with the rest of your outfit? (Giving her the benefit of the doubt here... This is a clothing criticism not a personal criticism after all...) My wife and daughters have occasionally suggested some things to me (luckily not color related, more style related... At times I like some "20 something" styles and they suggest that at my advanced age they may not be appropriate... ).

Go with the flow and consider asking why - when she makes clothing comments. She may not know, but if you think she dresses well, she may have an "instinct" for that kinda thing...

Of course, she may just have been complaining... As others have said, the "ex" situation is not the world's most wonderful at times.

Good luck,

There's a strong tendency

to attempt to decipher every action towards you in terms of your gender identity when in fact 99% of those actions have nothing to do with it. TG folk want to analyze everything that happens as if it's a commentary on their gender and by doing so create a lot of unneeded stress for themselves. While their life seems to revolve around their gender identity most people are just reacting to them as a person and much of their reaction has to do with their own thoughts and concerns.


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