Many, many years ago, I accidentally slammed a car door on my brother's fingers. Afterward, I had an almost PTSD reaction to the event - I had nightmares about it, had it replay over and over again in my mind, and to this day can get a little leery about closing a car door when I have any passengers.
The point of me sharing this little story is that I seem sort of primed for trauma. And if a minor event like that can set me off, you can just imagine what's going on in my head right now.
I feel like I could fall to pieces at any moment, and more than anything I want this bad stuff to just GO AWAY.
In short, I'm scared.
But there are no options here, I go through it whether I can handle it or not.
So pray for me, okay?