Thoughts and Dreams and Hopes
"Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later,
and then you still have to decide what to do." - C.S. Lewis
a blog by Andrea DiMaggio
Why is a raven like a writing desk? No...seriously...why is a raven like a writing desk. Lewis Carroll never answers that, and speculation regarding same seems a bit...lame? Here's another riddle. When is something very, very bad actually very, very good? Okay.....time's up. When it is redeemed. Today marks the first day of my continued diary on the House of Lights column of the Daily Kos. The House of Lights is the publication by the Tree-Climbers Survivor's Advocacy Group I mentioned a few months back. ( http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/36056/it-was-meant-evil-but )
The diary is an edited version of a blog I wrote here; which was made even more relevant with the continuing story of the sexual abuse of children and subsequent cover up at Penn State. You can find my blog here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/07/18/1111303/-I-never-kn...
My therapist and I talked today about how hard it is for me to believe good things for myself; this stems from the damage that was done when I was abused as a child. I still feel worthless and not worthy of any consideration because I was taught that nothing that was done to me mattered, and that I in turn didn't matter at all.
A very kind and generous and talented friend of mine (who took quite a bit of her own time out of a very bad day) reminded me today of just how much love folks have shown me. It wasn't that I was oblivious to their care, but more so that I still struggle with feeling like someone actually would care for me. There are days where I don't feel 'special' at all, tropes and stereotypes to the contrary. It has taken me nearly all of my life to feel that I have something to offer. Today's diary made me feel proud, and that's a feeling that is so foreign to me.
For that, and for all the love and support I have received, I thank you!