My brother and sister in law came over last night, and she saw my nails and was less than impressed with them. Not that I wanted painted nails, but my color choice was not a wise one, according to her. She said most women learn colors and age-appropriate styles in or before high school, because, in her words "teen girls are the most vicious creatures on earth".
She told me I'm going to have to learn these things fairly quickly, or risk the judgement of my peers even if they dont know I'm transgendered - they will assume there is something wrong with me unless I send out the right signals with my choice of colors - making sure things match up together, and that its appropriate for my age and size. She said this is going to be even more important for me since I'm always going to have a few mannish features which are not going to help me in dealing with other women.
That being the case, what I need is a mentor - someone who can walk me through this stuff, someone with a lot of patience for my mistakes who cares about me enough to tell me if I dont look good.
The other alternative is I decide I dont care about it, that if I get rejected socially, that its not important to me, that I forge my own style and say to the world - "this is me. Deal with it."
That would require a lot of courage and a willingness to be isolated, and considering my history as a boy, that would certainly be familiar to me.
But do I really want history to repeat itself?