Feminism Ally

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Hi everyone,
today while I surfed around on the net I found this site: http://playerversusfrustration.wordpress.com/2012/01/12/comp...

It's about a guy who wants to be a feminism ally and has suggestions for other "dudes" who also want to be a feminism ally.
First I thought it was Satire, but apparently he was serious.

The whole thing begins with some self humiliation:

(A side note: I call myself a feminist, and consider myself a feminist. I am a dude, and some feminists feel that men can’t really be feminists because they have never experienced all the shit that comes with being a woman, and get to go around experiencing all the advantages of being a man on a day to day basis, i.e. male privilege. Most of these feminists would call me a “feminist ally,” since I’m on the same side politically but can’t really “get it.” Moving on.)

If he doesn't understand whatever woman suffer or don't suffer through, why bother at all. As a human being he should be somewhat able to understand the suffering or joy of other human beings after all.

Literally every single guy that comes to feminism goes through pretty much the same process (I did, and if you’re reading this and not immediately scoffing at the word privilege you probably have/are currently as well.) Because EVERY SINGLE GUY that is friendly to feminism (and even those who are not) goes through this, feminists get really fucking tired of it. The guys all ask the same questions. They all make the same arguments. They all think they’re the first ones to ask these questions and make these arguments.

Should I feel sorry for them? If they want allies they can be bothered to answer my quesstions after all, can't they? It actually gets worse. I shall accept whatever terms and things they throw at me as truth coming from god and not dare to ask question or even critize their assumtions. Sure or maybe I become devout catholic. They even promise heaven for nice guys!

First, they learn what privilege is and think it’s not really a thing. ”But women have advantages too!” ”What about the draft? Women will never have to get shot at involuntarily!” And so on. Privilege is a thing. You just have to accept it, even though it makes you feel kind of icky. And it seriously does make you feel icky, thinking that you get stuff just for being a guy. I get treated differently (i.e. better) by car dealers because I’m a guy, I have a much lower chance of being raped because I’m a guy, I get paid more (on average) just by default because I’m a guy. I got preferential treatment in school because I was male, giving me more confidence and assertiveness (immensely advantageous psychological traits) as an adult man. Male privilege is an enormous and completely undeserved advantage, and not having it would suck. It would be being a woman.

Right... not! I have to accept I have priviledges and women have none. I therefore have to suck up to women and accept every shit they dump at me. Great! I get drafted, have to pay more taxes, am way more likely to become homeless, will die earlier, get worse social security and health treatment and I AM PRIVILEDGED?
Maybe I have some privileges, not that I see them, but goddess dude, you need to distinguish! Women have priviledges too!

It continues with a "every feminist wants the best for you and you just have to accept whatever they do" part. Bleh.

The next part says if feminism blames men in general for everything it's somehow not my fault... um whater.

After that, men argue something that boils down to “but what about men and how feminism affects them.” For example, they might say that all this talk about rape culture makes it sound like all men are rapists, and I’m not a rapist so you shouldn’t paint all men with such a broad brush. (This is the biggie out of these arguments, actually.) The frequent response, and the one that you really need to take to heart, is this: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. If someone talks about rapists, and you’re not a rapist, THEY ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. If someone talks about companies that never promotes women to the highest positions, but your employer has a female CEO and half its board are women, THEY ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR COMPANY. It’s nice that you personally are not directly contributing to the particular problem being discussed, but it’s extremely disruptive to respond to a discussion of that problem by saying you’re not part of the problem. It comes across as 1) diminishing the problem, more or less saying that since you aren’t part of it, it must not be that commonplace and 2) complaining that your feelings are hurt by this discussion and you deserve compensatory praise for not being an awful sexist.

Right, but if I'm not an awful sexist, why are they pointing at me with a strategical nuke?

Feminism is not aiming to make men feel comfortable while also eliminating sexism. It’s just aiming to eliminate sexism. You will probably be made uncomfortable by some things feminists say, because they’re horrifying. That one in four women is raped is awful, and that men are doing virtually all of that raping is proof of a systemic problem in our culture. That you personally have not raped anyone is nice, but beside the point. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about the problems our sexist culture creates for women. Women feel considerably more uncomfortable about it because it hurts them. Accept that feeling and move on, and hopefully be comforted by the fact that if sexism is completely eliminated, nobody will have to feel uncomfortable about male privilege or rape or discrimination EVER AGAIN! YAY!

Wow, so feminism does not care a shit for me. If feminist say horrifying things like "let's cull 80% of all men", I have to accept that because sexism will be gone afterwards? After a gendercide? Or I have to accept massive discrimmination against guys. Male shaming and insults against maleness in general? Because if I accept being humiliated for being a guy the world will be better? Not very convincing until now.

Finally, the big argument that men coming around to feminism make that is trickiest is what’s called “tone argument.” In short, it boils down to something like this: “I agree that sexism is awful, and I look forward to the day when it’s eliminated. But whenever you talk about sexism, you sound really angry about it, and that’s alienating for guys like me, who want to help! You should adopt a more friendly tone, that would draw more people in.” This is a surefire way to make a feminist on the Internet annoyed with you. They hear this constantly, in a variety of forms, and it’s not helpful. There are feminists out there making arguments with friendly, inclusive overtures to non-feminists. It takes multiple approaches to reach everyone, and the assertive brand of feminism you’re taking issue with IS NOT AIMED AT YOU. It’s aimed, in all likelihood, at other women who are also upset with the effects of sexism in society. Just like any political movement rallies its base, feminists talk to each other about what bothers them to raise awareness, to practice articulating particular ideas, and just to fucking vent. If you are bothered by the tone, repeat to yourself: It’s Not About You. If a woman is angry about pick up artists, and you’re not a pick up artist, she’s not mad at you! If a woman is pissed she lost a job to a less qualified male candidate, and you aren’t the person who made the hiring decision, she’s not pissed at you! And her anger is helpful in reaching out to other people who are angry about the same issues.

Wow, I have to accept any insult and rudness against me because it's not aimed at me? I just have to agree with every BS they are venting and the world will be all right? That's not how I deal with adult people, that's how I deal with six year old children.

Now I know what I have to do to become a feminism ally, not a feminist! I just have to accept every Bullshit a feminist vents at me as gospel directly from god, I have to accept their temper tandrums without saying a thing, because that would be abusing male priviledge or something and I musn't even ask her to justify her believs. No, I just have to accept everything, help her and devote myself to the feminist cause.
And then they wonder why there are more and more men who call themselves anti-feminist. If that is expected from a guy who plans to interact or have a relationship with feminists then I wonder how they ever have sex. This is more devotion than most religions demand from their followers.

I can only say, no sorry I will never become a feminism ally. I respect both myself and women too much to devote myself to such a ratrace. If a woman can't be bothered to defend her ideology, arguments to me she's just not worth my time.
I always thought feminists were strange, but apparently male feminist allies are even stranger.

Beyogi

Comments

Crazy!

Extravagance's picture

I'll stick with being neutral...

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