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Something unexpected happened to me last week. I spontaneously jumped on an open opportunity and came out to my wife of seven years. I know she has detected Megan lurking around, confined, but never really put it together. After a routine evening, I expressed my need for more romance and intimacy. She said I was more of a girl...I went for it this time. She was a little confused, a little disappointed that I never told her, but overall, is committed to me. We went away for the weekend and so far, not much has changed, other than I feel a little more free, able to come out of my cage, no longer being confined by the Man. All I know is, we still love each other. I thank God for her, I don't know what I would have done some days without her support, and now that she understands the source of my depression, she can help me better than ever before.
Comments
best of luck to you hon
its not easy for a spouse, so good luck to you both
This is a shared path.
The both of you bring different things to the table in this relationship. Allow evolution to take its own path and allow things to grow. Take care not to push the river, as both of you need time.
Huggles
Michele
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
Good luck to both of you
It's never easy to reveal these things to a spouse or partner just as it's usually not easy for them to just accept them as another facet of you. It takes compassion and understanding on both sides to work through these issues and might require some time and patience.
Angharad
Congratulations to you both.
Firstly I must congratulate your wife for at least not just flying off the handle. She at least has adopted a conciliatory and supportive role and that is to be utterly applauded.
Well done lady and all strength to you for standing by your spouse. It is inevitably a huge shock to discover that your partner has a side you never properly knew about; for that, you deserve every plaudit.
Now to you, I don't know your name obviously because you have chosen so far not to declare it but you have taken by far the biggest step in 'coming out' to your wife. That honesty will serve as a basis to go forward and a foundation on which to build BUT you must respect her wishes as best you are able and that will mean compromises on both sides.
Good luck on your journey,
Beverly.
(Married 38 years to the best person I know.)
xx
About the same time
At about the same time in my marriage (five years) I outed myself by getting careless with when I expressed my femme side by dressing up. Freud would have said I was trying to get caught. Perhaps he'd have been right. There were some rough years in the beginning, but now, 40 years later, we're still together, deeply in love and I wear pretty much what ever I want around the house. I'm free to be as femme as my little heart desires and the love of my life accepts it all.
Good luck to you and your wife. Now that you've got the lines of communication open, don't let them close. Don't beat her over the head with it, but also don't be afraid to express your feminine nature to her. Just be subtle. Remember, she didn't fall in love with an overtly feminine man; you are a new commodity. Give her reason to love the new you. In short, threat her as though you love her find little things to do for her often that tells her just how important she is to you. My wife calls it "getting points." As an example: I know my wife likes peanut butter milkshakes, so randomly, I'll stop by Dairy Queen on the way home and pick up a peanut butter milkshake... no reason for it. It says "I love you, I was thinking about you," all for about $ 3.00. She eats it up. (No pun intended.) Oh and don't forget to say "I love you," often. At least once a day. Keep up the romance as well.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Wonderful
that is wonderful I too have a understand wife ( 40 years married ) who know under the surface a little girl lives a quiet life. May your days be happy and you have a great wife cherrish her.
HUGS :-) RICHIE2
She seems like a cool chick.
She seems like a cool chick. Well, she would be or you wouldn't have tied the knot with her.
The key phrase is 'a little disappointed that I never told her'. A woman needs to know what she's getting. We invest a lot more into relationships than men, and because our judgement isn't exactly infallible we depend on our partners to be open and honest with us.
Your 'coming out' will make no difference to her in the long run providing you can convince her you're still as committed to your relationship as you've always been. Do that and she'll be happy.
My God, now I'm turning into Marjorie Proops...
A little disappointed...
My wife often assures me with actions as well as words of her love for me and acceptance of who and what I am. However, she said, just last week, that she still holds it against me that I wasn't up front with her about all this before we were married but had kept it a secret for five years before she found out and then she had to catch me at it.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Much of my own reluctance...
...in going further lies with that feeling that the acceptance is reluctant as well. She loves me but doesn't accept the idea of a transgendered spouse; preferring instead to understand how this was what I was like as a kid. But I can't remain in this place forever, even if it's to inch forward a little at a time. I know for my part I never realized how deep the need to be me rested until a few years ago; well over twenty years after we wed. I wish you well and pray for continued improved communication.
Love, Andrea Lena
Wishing for the best!
Hope and Pray for your union. May she accept Megan .
May Your Light Forever Shine