Several years ago, I began my transition at work. I wrote the following letter to everyone I worked with and to my then friends, hoping that the letter would help lessen the "shock" over seeing me in a different light, at least physically.

I'm re-posting it here in the hope that, by using it as a template, others might be able to ease their beginning of their Real Life Test as it did for me.

I have blocked out the company name for privacy reasons. I also want to point out that, at the time, I worked for the County on their mass transit system so the County Attorney got involved. According to my boss at the transit system, the Attorney said that my letter was a big factor in my getting hired and in my acceptance as I transitioned at work.

To all my friends and co-workers at *****:

As many of you are aware, I have been undergoing some changes in the last year or more. This is due to the simple fact that I am transgendered...that is, a woman in a mans body. I am treating this as simply a mistake made at birth and I am undergoing constant therapy and medical intervention to correct the 'birth defect' I was born with.

Many of you have seen a picture of me as my 'real' self, and through talking with you I have found, to my grateful surprise, that most, if not all, of you seem to be supportive in this, saying that “I need to do what I have to, for myself.” Your open and accepting attitudes have made this decision easier to make. It has taken me many years to get to this point and, having finally made this decision, I know that if I back down this time, I will never succeed at it. That would be, literally, a death sentence for me, since I can no longer live with hiding who and what I really am. I feel as though I have been lying to the whole world for 61 years about who and what I truly believe myself to be. Well, it's time for me to stop lying and face what IS.

It's true that this is my life, but this affects everyone who knows me. Family, friends, co-workers, even the passengers on the buses, and I am asking for your continued support as, in the very near future, I will be undergoing what is called a 'real life test' which will REQUIRE me to take on the female role, 24/7, 365, for at least a year or more before I can be considered for surgeries to bring my body in line with what my brain says it's supposed to be. Thus, I will be living, working, recreating, etc as a woman. I know this will be difficult for some of you to understand, but at one point I attempted to commit suicide over this. I chose to live and deal with this instead.

In the time I have been an escort at *****, I have, I believe, achieved a very good work ethic, doing what needs to be done with very little questioning and with, I hope, good humor. I want to assure each and every one of you that this will not change. I fully intend to continue at *****, working the way I have for the past few years, provided circumstances allow me to remain employed at *****.

In truth, the only things that will change, at least visually, will be minimal makeup, longer hair, and what I hope will pass as a female shape, albeit a large one, to be sure. My clothing choices will not change except that they will be female versions of what I already wear...what we all wear. Basic jeans and t-shirts/tops, work shoes/boots/sneakers, just with a feminine cut and flair. The basic “me” that you have worked with will be virtually the same. The same old tired jokes and stories, as well as the humor I try to face each day with.

I hope and pray this will not effect the friendships/working relationships we have built at *****. I want help all of you to understand this situation. To that end, If ANYONE has ANY questions, PLEASE come to me with them. The only dumb questions...are the ones you don't ask. I promise to be as open and honest as I possibly can about this. I don't want to embarrass anyone with this, but I have to do what I have to do. If this causes any of you problems, or embarrasses any of you, please come to me and we can try to talk it out.

As a final point, during this “real life test,” if all of you can simply refer to me as 'she', 'her' or by my chosen name, which is Catherine Linda Michel, and try to think of me as a female, it will help me a great deal with seeing this through. Cathy, Cathilyn, or any other diminutive of Catherine will be fine. If you slip and call me Keith, I will understand. This is going to be just as difficult for me, as I imagine it will be for you.

Thank you for your understanding and support.

Catherine Linda Michel.

Please feel free to use this as a template for any similar letter you might write to an employer or a friend or family member and I wish anyone who is transitioning, the very best of luck and congratulations on your courage.

Catherine Linda Michel