Got confronted in Walmart about being trans and don't know if I should b

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I don't know if it is a good or bad sign to be mistaken for an FtM transsexual. Someone stopped me in the store today and said "honey, you were born a woman, you should remain a woman."

My off the cuff reaction

would be to say, "Thank you and I fully intend to." :) Think of it as crossing a rather harsh divider line of instead of appearing mostly male to female looking a little masculine. The key here is the part where she thought you were female. All that's left is to polish that femininity a bit more.


Good to know I'm not the only

Good to know I'm not the only one this happens to.

This has happened to me several times with others. Some of those others are Transgender as well.

This was also the basis for my meme of teh week, two weeks ago.

I usually just laugh. It amuses me.

On a side note, at a going away party I attended last night, it came out that I was the oldest there, being in my 30s. No one believed me until I showed my picture ID. I apparently look young for my age which I'm thinking throws everyone off visually.


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in what was originally a biologically male body makes you look younger, probably to do with subcutaneous fat distribution. In my case the weight of my tummy pulls the wrinkles out of my face :)


I guess its sort of a compliment

that she saw you as a woman. I can't believe someone would actually say something like that to a stranger, though.



that is a switch . I would take it as a compliment , but would not know how to answer the person. I think me personally would be standing with my mouth open shaking my head :-)

Penny Lane's picture

It's not a compliment

I would take this exactly the same way as someone who tells a man they shouldn't transition to a woman - it's insulting and discriminatory.

Just turn the comment on its head and see how many here would take it. This person just assumed you were moving in the other direction and decided to tell you not to.

It is definitely not a compliment!


It's only when you moisturize that you discover all the hairs you missed.

Ragtime Rachel's picture

I caught that myself... was obvious the person didn't like transpeople, whatever direction one might be going. I doubt I would have taken it as a compliment myself, but I might have laughed at the person's stupidity (out of earshot, of course).

Livin' A Ragtime Life,



Well, look on the bright side. You pass. Just not in the way you were hoping for.

I'd have been tempted to say

I'd have been tempted to say something along the lines of 'You weren't born a bigot. You should have stayed that way.'

fa 144a.jpg Nicki

The Best Comment


I found your's the best comment by far. Ir was the only one that made me laugh, but besides that, it told an interfering busybody to mind her own business. I am sure people who go shopping do not do so to survey feedback from the public about their appearance genderwise, and if they did they would be displaying some sign saying "Transperson survey" and a pack of forms to complete or something like that.

I think I would have been tempted to do the same, Nicki, except that I am now so old that I can be as rude as I like to other people by right of my great age. In German the word for this is Altersboesheit. I don't know of an English equivalent.


Thanks Briar

Thanks Briar. You've made my evening.

There's another term English doesn't have a word for: having the nerve to approach a complete stranger and lecture them as to which gender they ought to identify with.

And I hope we never need to coin one.

fa 144a.jpg Nicki

No word in English

Since we don't seem to have an English word for it, we can borrow the Yiddish "chutzpah." Otherwise, we settle for gall.

You could dazzle them with bullshit.

Just tell them you ARE a woman but have a hormone imbalance. It has been years now but I once told a woman that I was intersexed and have a medical condition. You have to give them something the fools can deal with. If it becomes a moral issue you are sunk.


Ragtime Rachel's picture

It happened to me only once

I was in the local mall, and heard a bunch of teen boys making comments about the women that passed by. As I passed by, I heard one of them say, "She's probably a lesbian." I knew I should have used more makeup. =)

Livin' A Ragtime Life,


Bless her heart

"Actually, I was born a baby. If I'd been born a woman it would have split my mother open - what a mess that would have made!"

Similar (Sort of) Comment

I had my first appointment two weeks ago with an NP to start HRT. She led me into the office and started looking at my chart, saw "HRT" as my reason for being there and asked me, "female to male, right?" I was quite flatter, personally, more so when she looked surprised when I said "Male to female." :D

some people just have such a

some people just have such a shitty life themselves that they can't help trying to make themselves feel better by trying to bring everyone else down to their level.

i could think of a few comebacks to their comment depending on whether it was a woman or a man that made the comment but there again it would just reduce you to their level

You're better than that!!!

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