Hi, it's me again, I've been gone for a while. I haven't been able to get computer access for a while now and have been reading the stories from my phone. My fingers are too big to easily type on my phone and I have to delete and retype most of what I write. I'm still in the same state of mind/ situation as my other posts, and it's starting to bleed through the mask I show to the world. No one that knows me in real life know the real me and that I am a girl inside. I feel so alone and stressed.
I wrote my first story yesterday, because I had an idea stuck in my head for it. I thought it would get maybe ten or fifteen reads, but I was surprised and delighted that people cared about what I wrote. Not only did it get attention, but I found I liked it. That story was my first try at writing something outside of a assignment for school. I realized I loved writing that story, because it was something I cared about. I'm working on a second story and might continue my first. Writing also helps me pass time, I got lost writing earlier for two or three and felt so alive.
Hi! This is my first post, so I'm a bit nervous. I have trouble putting my emotions into words, whenever I try I end up frustrated. This means I usually just bottle up my emotions, fighting to keep the down, to wear that fake smile that never reaches my eyes. I feel like I'm lying when I talk to others who think they know me, who think they know how I feel and in a way I am. They see my act falter and they wonder what's wrong, but I push them away. Even my family gets pushed away. They ask why I stay in my room all the time, separated from them.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
Space 80
Calimesa, CA 92320
USA
Note: $6000 is the operating, maintenance and upgrade budget. Amounts received in excess of the $6000 will be applied to long term debt accrued over the last 19 years.
