TopShelf Blogs

A H U G E thank you

to all of you have been so generous with your time to read my Einnlander tale, and to those few of you who took that extra time to comment.

Of course, I need to mention that I am overwhelmed by the generosity of Kudos.

Please be aware that this would not have come to light had it not been for the patient assistance of Penny herself, so she should carry much of the credit.

I think I shall retire for a while back to the Anmarian map world ---- :-)

Answer to Dorthycolleen, fragile.


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Answers to life?

People seem to either love or hate 50 Shades. It has been difficult for me to read it and see the movie, but I am drawn to it like a “moth to the flame”. The Churchy folk are universal in their condemnation of it, but I simply won’t talk to them about it.

The actual sex part is relatively tame in comparison to some of the things my X and I did. I think on top of a running clothes dryer was close to the best!  We never tied each other up or used cuffs though, I wanted to. Don't know who would have worn them.

Author Chat Sessions

I don't know how many authors I've wished I could have talked with, but there are a LOT of them posted at Fictionmania. INCLUDING one with JACK CHALKER, famous SciFi writer who included quite a bit of TG stuff in his stories. They're all at Anne-Mal's Page at FM.


Catherine Linda Michel

I think I've figured out why I've been so fragile lately


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I think I've figured out why I've been so fragile the last little while.. I think it was in part due to stress because of Sharon's health situation (which added to the pile of stress I've already been dealing with.) And in part because I've been triggered by the 50 shades of grey discussions.

You might say "Dorothy, the movie is about bondage, how does that trigger you?"

Unforced errors

I suppose it's inevitable that eventually I would make a boo boo that required an already-published chapter to be edited in such a way as the story changes, or at least one aspect of the story. I mixed up two characters' histories and simply changing the name wasn't an option. This made me wonder, how do I prevent this from happening again? The short answer is that I can't, an unforced error is just that.

A nice transformation video


This is a video I've had floating around on my YouTube's favourites list for and I recently found it again and decided to share with the wonderful BC community.
Transformation into Beauty. This video is 3 and a quarter minutes long and though it isn't a full animation, it's more a series of linked pictures animated in Adobe Flash it is very well done.

Relationship Tags in Stories

Zoe Taylor is an amazing writer, and if you haven't checked out her stuff, well, you should.

But, having said that, she tends to write works that lean toward lesbian characters, which I've admitted before usually detracts from my interest in a story.

Her latest story didn't have the lesbian tag, though, so I PMed her about it to ask if it was or not before diving in. I got my answer, and everything was good.

Or was it?

Story Posting Database Problems: Attn Paul Cousins


We had a serious database problem this morning involving four stories that got corrupted. We rescued the text of the four stories, though we had to repost Badasses of the Multiverse 14 which got lost somewhere between here and Miraz (which is a star in the Big Dipper).

Anyway, the problem may have been caused by a DOS attack, we're not sure.

But Paul Cousins, Shauna, Louise Anne, and Taralyn should check their stories to be sure they have been restored properly. I'm sorry but if anyone had made comments on those four stories or left kudos, those are gone.

Delays to Tammy's Trials

An apology to those waiting for Tammy's adventures (and there are plenty of them to come) but I'm engaged in a complete rewrite of Chapter 31 and now see that I've made a boo boo in Chapter 30, by mixing two characters up. That's going to require a partial rewrite to fix as it can't simply be explained away.

It's all going to take some time and I'm hoping RL keeps itself at bay.


Bad news about my ex


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got more bad news about Sharon.

Apparently, she found out yesterday that on top of recovering from having a very large fibrous tumor, plus a slipped disk from a fall, now she has a bowel obstruction that's gonna require surgery.

Things just keep being interesting here ...

New Kindles from Karin

In addition to my new BCTS story Angry Diary that's currently posted, I'm publishing some ebooks on Amazon. The first up is In Concert, which was first here at BCTS. One of two others from here will be published in the next week; in my time here readers have expressed their desire for Kindle copies of some of my BCTS titles (and I'm always open to suggestions!). As always, please-please-please post reviews on Amazon for any of my books, and any of the BCTS authors whose books you have (and we love stars!)

Moving problems and the Hatbox


There's been a snag in Piper's plans to move this weekend. The deal has been hung up by a glitch in the space being ready to rent and she can't move in as planned. The move had been pretty much financed but the snag is going to cost a few days in a motel, and boarding for Penny, the Labrador, an unexpected expense. I can loan her the money but it would be a lot less stress on me if I know that we have met our contribution goals in the Hatbox for the month.

Over and out


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In my younger days I used to like playing on the cb radio in New York City. I had a little walkie talkie type unit that didn't get much range, but how much do you need in a condensed area.

At the end of the night I would always end with over and out and go on with life. I always wondered what was over and what was out. My guess is that my participation was over and my power was out.

I always thought that was a fun way to end things

over and out.

oh wow, this was shock


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My mom called yesterday, to tell me she had just re-mailed my birthday card [ she put the wrong address on it and it came back ]. We got to talking and she mentioned that she is planning on coming to Montreal with me when get the operation. [ hasn't been scheduled yet ]

I know I have been lucky in the fact my family didn't freak at my transitioning, but this actually shocked me.

Creating Your Own World


My Sister In Law once told me she was in awe, in how I have created my own world!

I am not sure she truly meant it as a compliment. In my world, things happen my way, which is to say not always the the way others would like it.

Being different, means I see life from what I like to call it "the other side." Sort of like the inverse of what everyone else sees.

Another Getting Older Problem

Last fall I spent five hours in the dentist's chair getting some teeth restored. Number 31 molar was problematical, but she gave it a try. Unfortunately, I began to realize a few weeks ago that all may not be well: throbbing, sensitivity to cold, and last week periods of pain. I knew it was a lost cause. Due to weather, I was not able to get to the dentist until this afternoon at 3:00. That was lucky, as there was a cancellation. I left at 7:15 this evening, having had a root canal, with a numb tongue, lip and cheek.

Please, don't

Going around the internet today is a news article about a transgender teenager who killed themselves and then left a time released tumbler suicide note after the fact where they spoke about how hard it was being transgender and blaming their parents for a lack of support and not being supportive. The story is starting to go viral and people are promising that the teen will not be forgotten.

Does this sound familiar?

It probably sounds just like Leelah Alcorn, but it's not, its 15 year old Zander from Georgia.

Anmarian Information and a cry for Help


Hi everyone,


We now have a third author contributing to the Anmarian world.

What with writing the next Julina episodes, proofreading for other authors, writing the last Chivan episode, and bouncing ideas off poor beleaguered Penny, I am slowly beginning to drown in the whole thing.

My index thingy ( ) is getting to be a small monster now.

Possible Editor

I am a new writer of TG fiction. My stories revolve around characters that use the services of a Beauty Salon for their transformations. Plots include womanless beauty pageants, filling in for sisters, curiosity of what it is like to be a female, spouse interaction. I know a lot of these have already been done, but I try to make them different in some ways. I could use an editor to help with punctuation, tense, and paragraphs. If interested please let me know at [email protected] Thanks

Nifty footwork


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Well that's the foot fixed. I have a load of paperwork and planning applications and Landlord Licences to sort out so I'm taking the next six weeks off to sort it out. That's how long the surgery on my foot is going to take to heal. They've had to break the fifth RHS metatarsal and re-align it with a scarf joint and screws so my right foot doesn't resemble a hobbit's. Wont be able to walk without crutches for four weeks then it's 'heel-weight-bearing, for the next two weeks.

Prayers, and good byes for Cindilee

Cindilee is going through somethings that are really hard right now and while I can't go into her specifics without her permission it's enough that I want to offer up what support I can.

*Great Big Hugs, Cocoa and Blanket forts honey*

I just got the word that Cindi finally lost her fight with Hodgkins having been ill for quite some time and this last few kicks from life were just too much. It just took the fight right out of her.

RIP Cindi We all Loved You.

my online self vs my offline self


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Recent events on Facebook have got me thinking, and I wanted to share some thoughts about the difference between my online self and my offline self.

I think the word you'd use to describe the online me is ... uninhibited. She (and forgive me for using third person here) giggles a lot, huggles just about anybody, acts silly to make her friends laugh, makes friends easily, has even flirted with people, and probably overshares her personal stuff.

The ftp issues continue!

Clearly there is some external issue as it worked first try Sunday but midweek its not interested! Hopefully by the weekend my site will be updated with new reading and some exciting news for all the Gabfen.

There is a new chapter here on BC but you might have noticed the lack of breaks in recent chapters. Its not because of lack of code but it seems to be being ignored, does anyone know of any issues with
coding here on BC?

Pointe Shoes, a sequel


Still trying to finish It's Not Easy to be a DemiGoddess and another chapter of Evolution is also still in the works.

But the muse has me starting a sequel to My Summer With Meg and Our Nutcracker Adventure.

Sorry the first chapter is a bit short. And excuse the typos and the grammatical errors. You know how I just seem to throw things out there.

Hope some of you will find it worth reading.

Love ya,



lightoffury's stories are missing. lightoffury is one of my favorite authors. on crystal hall fan fiction, lightoffury has a link for lights whateley stories under the caption "lights big pile of crap". to me those stories are not crap. i hope that lights self-image will improve and that lights stories will be put back in bigcloset.

A music icon is gone.

Lesley Gore might not be an icon to a lot of people but she is to me. I grew up listening to her music and she touched a special spot in my soul. Not the best looking girl, but BOY, could she sing! Lesley Gore began her careeer in music in 1963 with "It's My Party" and stole my heart.

RIP Lesley. You brightened my life.

Catherine Linda Michel

Sci Fi Books

I am looking for a sci-fi story about a man who is 180 000 years old. He has lived on 6 different star systems and watched man rise and fall. I can't remember the author but it was in a scifi anthology in my local library. Possibly Brian Aldiss. I would love to reread it.

Sydney Moya

Stonewall to campaign on behalf of Trans people

Gosh, they've remembered the T in LGBT. I suppose this is a good thing as they have lots of experience and expertise in campaigning for equality. At the same time, I've never been happy with including the T with the others, as I see my previous transsexualism (now cured via surgery and Gender Recognition Act) as relating to my gender identity not sexual orientation - precisely the matter which kept Stonewall and transgender apart previously.

A Surprising Amount Of Response

My second Kingston Academy Shorts has gotten a LOT more user response, and a lot more quickly, than the first one did!

So, I'd like to know: what about Ruby's short story (both before and after the rather important fixes) appealed to readers more than Jules' little mini-adventure?

Are there any characters in particular you'd like to see shorts for in the future, or other PFH mini-stories you think would be fun?

And, lastly: how many other people want to see the next chapter of Angharad's Princess For Hire: The British Kid? Show of hands?

*raises hand*

What have you been reading lately?

I’ve been working my way through Robert McCammon’s 80’s output. McCammon started out as a go-for-broke gore and guts and more gore horror guy. But what sets his work apart from the shock-'n’-splatter books that dominated the post-King spookhouse-lit scene is heart. Lots of it. There’s a streak of feel-good, almost cornball, wholesomeness that runs through his fiction, which, far from sticking out like a sore thumb, feels absolutely appropriate in the context of the heightened conflicts between good and evil he often writes about.

The Author's Mantra


I saw a comment to a comic that sounded like a line from the Movie Dune,

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion." - The Programmer's Mantra also found in WikiQuotes.

This could also be the Author's mantra

If female reproductive organs could be created for MtFs.

It is something that I imagine many transwomen would welcome, but even if such was possible, there is the problem with producing eggs.

I'm working on a story that sees MtF characters given fully functioning female reproductive organs, but with their genetic make up, there is a problem concerning their Y-chromosomes. Eggs always contain X-chromosomes, for reasons I shouldn't have to explain.

If there was a way for the created organs to overlook the Y-chromosome, and only ever use the single X-chromosome, then that would be one answer.

regarding my surgery - I should have .....


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If I'd have known then what I know now, I'd have just had them take out the spare ... part. Sore, sore, sore, and greatly swollen. And sore. Did I say sore? A partial orchidectomy wouldn't have left anything to be sore. or swollen. and it was a spare. Damn. At least, on the bright side, it wasn't a tumor.

At least I've got a couple more days of decent pain meds. sigh.

50 Shades of Grey

For those of you who read the books. It looks like this first movie follows book one faithfully. I see all sorts of snotty reviews but the movie is good, I think it appeals to me because of my own very twisted nature. I would want to be Anastasia and would be happy about some limited spanking, though going overboard not so much.

Welcome to my world.

I am not putting this on my FB.


I'm kinda nervous


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I am a little nervous about going to the Valentine's day dinner and dance at my church tonight. I haven't been to anything like this since I began my transition, and I am not a social butterfly in any case, so I'm a little worried about how I'll do, even if most of the people there will know me.

Ah, well.

Today would be a great day to read the Valentines contests.

Over the last few years given the day right?
I mean stories like "The Parchment" And "Love and Old Books." are just sitting there right?
Hint Hint :)

*Great Big Snuggly Hugs*

Submissions for February's TG Mixed Tape Anthology due on the 19th. (Do you have it in you to write 500 words in 5 days?)

The Mixed Tapes are a monthly publication that showcases work from a wide variety of authors in our fictional niche. They mostly consist of short, short stories – some high minded, some silly, some erotic, and some something in-between – but have also included essays and interviews with established writers like Morpheus, Zapper and Dorothy Colleen and exiting new voices like Minikisa.

If you would like to be a part of February's Tape, read on...

Maid Update

Hi all,

Some weeks ago I posted about a hypothetical situation where someone hired a me to be his maid servant who will fulfill his needs and 'needs' in exchange for money and all kinds of surgeries.

So I posted an ad online about "a tg maid looking for work" and *cough* I got hundreds of offers despite me already mentioning that I'm pre op. Some of these people gave extravagant offers, some just wanting to jerk off but some seemed really genuinely serious about it. Most of them offered to pay for my hormone therapy and surgery.

Just wondering if MtF can get pregnant...

Getting information for my stories, I came upon MtF pregnancy which might happen sooner. Another article was about a Chinese do or implanting an egg in a man, so I wonder if in 10 to 15 years from now a MtF will be able to be a mom... I hope so...


Having gender Identity issues. Seeking help


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These last couple of weeks my gender identity has been all over the place. One moment I am completely convinced I am male and any TG feeling is just a flight of fancy (or perhaps reading too much BC), the next moment I am absolutely certain that if I would awake a woman the next day it would be 45 years too late.

I could sure use some helpful pointers to help me figure out what it is that I am.

Frozen in the northeast


For the past four days work has taken me to the New England states. And during that entire time the temperature never got above the mid-twenties. I must have become a real wimp over the last few years living in the South. The next time I head north during the winter months I’m buying heavy weight winter tights, turtle neck leotards, and thermal over the knee socks or anything that will keep you warm. (Burr!) The truly sad thing is I no sooner get home to South Carolina than an artic freeze is pushing its way south. Can’t a sister get a break?!

Freezing in South Carolina

Broadband issues

I'm having broadband problems again as my fibre went down sometime last night pb (post Bike). I've spent time today, after teaching my over 50s IT class, trying to fault find but right now have no outside world connection using that route although my internal network is still up. That much is useful as my scribblings are not stored on the laptop that I use for writing, all my work is stored on the big beastie (12Tb of storage).

Hiding our healing


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I've had a belated realization regarding healing and now feel somewhat foolish for not realizing it before.

I have a very close friend who has gone on a self righteous rant about "50 Shades of Grey". I doubt that she has read the books or intends to see the movie. I have read the books and plan to see the movie but do not intend to tell her that.

First Sign of Spring


As of February 10th Boston (Mass) has received just over six feet of snow for the season with a storm this weekend expected to add another 12 inches.

Despite this, there has been a first indication of Spring. The equipment truck for the Boston Red Sox (Major League Baseball) is being loaded for the trip to Florida to start Spring training.

leg update


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So I have had my MRI and while I did tear the hamstring, it isn't bad. I'm off of work for at least a month from yesterday. I'll try and get to writing while I have free time.

Not sure how the doc put it but it was a tear, but the muscle didn't retract. So some leg therapy and I'll be good to go

Shortcuts Is Now a Complete Story

My Shortcuts story is done. I just posted the last chapter. For those of you who prefer to read complete stories, please give it a chance.

This will be my last long story here. I'm moving on. I plan on joining a writing group in the hopes of eventually publishing the old-fashioned way - on paper. I might still post a short story once in a blue moon if the mood hits me.


Predestination is an Australian movie released in 2014, starring Ethan Hawke and Sarah Snook. It's based on the Robert Heinlein short story 'All You Zombies'.

The film received critical acclaim for Snook's outstanding portrayal of a character who at first appears to be a woman transitioning to male, but her story is much, much stranger than that.

Although the version here isn't of the very highest quality, it's certainly watchable.

Computers - aaargh!

I hate these bloody things, even more after wasting two hours of my life trying to get my old puter, which I keep for my role as cycling club secretary, to do something straightforward like send an email. Needless to say, it's now too late to start scribbling Bike, which means I'll have an extra few hours for my remaining brain cell to ferment further plot twists.

Sorry, but I've had my fill of electronic things tonight.


read an interesting book

I just finished a very interesting book called "Trans-Sister Radio" by Chris Bohjalian. Its the story of a single mother and teacher who falls in love with a man only to discover he's transitioning to female, and the fallout that situation causes for her, her daughter, her job, and her ex-husband who decides to bring their story to radio. Its not a perfect book - it spends a little more time talking about the surgery than I was comfortable with, but its a very interesting bit of fiction, especially by a cis writer. I recommend it.

Pickles: The Game

So, a few of you might remember my Pickles choose-your-own-adventure story I started here a few years back. I still think it was a really cool idea, but it never worked out QUITE the way I wanted it to, and eventually just got kinda ridiculous and dragged down by my renowned poor dedication to a regular posting schedule.

Well, I've figured out how to use TWINE.

follow up to Florida blog


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Florida Lawmaker Says Using Restroom Is A Choice For Transgender People

this is his answer to Buzzfeed news these people are just morons , using a bathroom is not a choice it is a body function needed by most people

Mike and Ashley, Some Afterthoughts

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the great response to an old story converted to a modern world. My previous stories have never received the response that this one has. I know my stuff isn't main line, but I'm pretty happy with what I've done over the last ten years or so. Anyway thank you so much. I feel encouraged to write a bit more before I sink into senility.

The last line to Chapter 7, was very deliberate. In fact, I researched it to make sure I had it correct. I was surprised that no one pinged on it. Okay, where did it come from?

I'm waiting.

Homophobic Florida


A state representative from the Miami area is writing a bill that would prohibit a transgender person from using the restroom of the gender that they are . This means a person would have to use the restroom of there birth gender . A transgender woman would have to use the men's room , how would that go over a lady in a dress going into the men's room . I wonder how would even enforce a law like that ?
Restroom police ? would the pervert be looking under the dress to see the privates .
This is just plain crazy , only in the warped minds of hate can this happen.

got some bad news about my ex


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Well, things have managed to get worse for Sharon. She fell a while back, but yesterday she ended up finding out she had herniated a disk in her back during the fall. And since she is still recovering from surgery, it means her schedule for going back to work has been pushed back.

I just hope she doesn't take out her frustrations on Samantha ...

Murder of 'Samba Queen' in Brazil.

According to the Observer a trans samba dancer was murdered in Rio, they also suggest the crime might be a hate killing as they have a pretty awful record with a trans, gay or bi person being murdered every 28 hours.


It looks like I'm back in business with my site, why do software writers think we need more complex stuff to do simple tasks?

As regards logging in here at BC I'm no further along, as I've deleted my original links etc and started from scratch I can't see that theres anything else I can do? Surely I'm not the only one having these issues which only started after the last BC upgrade?


I've never been good with relationships. I think a lot of that comes from my childhood. I watched my parents go though a messy divorce. Mom and grandma spent a lot of effort on mind games to turn me against my dad. Dad got remarried to the wicked bitch of the south. then divorced and eventually married for the third time(I like this one). I watched my sister go though countless boyfriends in high school and all the drama that entailed. She got married, had a kid then got divorced. she is now getting ready to get married for the second time.

Ghost Inside My Child


Amazingly when I read someone and tell them about their life or lives before the present one they are trying out, it is all familiar to them. Usually they bring some of their past to the present without knowing why they feel a certain way, act a certain way, or why knowledge of different aspects of a job comes naturally to them. And yes most everyone tries out a different gender as they go through one life after another. I only read two different people that never changed from boy to girl or girl to boy. That one seems to be the hardest part for some to accept.

Rusty. Feb 1995 to Feb 2015


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Our long suffering cat was euthanized at aprox 9:45am CST today, Saturday Feb 7th.

He and his late littermate Cally were two Wisconsin Humane Society kittens from the old location behind WTMJ tv and radio near Esterbrook Park in Milwaukee WI.

Best estimate were he was born Feb 08th 1995. But we will call him 20 years old.

He will be cremated and his ashes scatted over his sisters grave by a peony in our back yard.

Transgender Transition Taking Place


A friend pointed me toward Bruce Jenner who is making the news as she is switching her nouns from him to her. I had already been reading stories of the ongoing event and most of them are biased against Ms. Jenner. I had hoped with time and knowledge we were putting a lot of that behind us.

Computer wiz


Computer development is going so fast that it is like totally gee wiz to me. And playing with them is like a total rush, though I did not usually give a ...
I'm not talking cost effectiveness here, just talking about what a novice can do, and it is like totally fun. So, I know some of you will think what I am saying is stupid, but please don't treat me like your irritating little sister.

Database problem


We had a small database problem this morning which has been cleared up. We will be working on a permanent solution to this later this month with adding two more database servers. If you had problems posting this morning it was likely due to the database timing out while trying to update tables.

Let us know via email, PM, or status message if you are still having problems.


Sex Change on ID in British Columbia and the Yukon, Canada


With this for, filled by your GP, you can get all your ID changed to show the gender you wish.

With this SECOND form added you can get your bc medical card changed.

With both forms, and application for new Drivers license / BCID / BC Services card(s) completed, you only need to send a letter to ICBC head office requesting they amend all your drivers records to remove old names.

BBC to start filming a trans comedy

The BBC is to begin filming a new comedy with the female lead being played by a Rebecca Root an actress who is/was transsexual playing a transwoman, something of a first, according to the Guardian. So well done the Beeb.

had a counseling session at the Pride Center


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Well, yesterday, I was able to get a counseling session at the Edmonton Pride center, and I found it very helpful. I talked with the counselor about my current stress, my past, my faith, and my transition. Best of all she seems really well versed in trauma and how it impacts a person. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to see her, but I'm going to do everything I can to get better.