TopShelf Blogs

Decision time

First off, I'd like to say thank you to all those who have commented, sent me private messages or otherwise been supportive with what I've been going through. I consider myself very fortunate to have fans, friends, and family like those I have here.

Tommy & Tamara series continuation

I've just posted chapter 17 of Tamara's Debut, due to editing that series will end on Chapter 24. Most of what was Chapter 25 now forms the intro into Chapter 1 of Tamara's First Christmas. As of now 20,000 words for that series have been written and posting will commence shortly after 'Debut' concludes, the story as written is now many thousands of words beyond where I left it in 2010.

My Amazon ebook 'Coming Home' for sale in the United Kingdom

Synopsis- Anthony Rizzo is a serving National Guardsmen. His longtime girlfriend is Angela Pellegrin. They met while they both played college basketball at the same university. When Anthony comes home from Iraq on leave, Angela asks her boyfriend if he would like to switch bodies with her.

This 30,000 plus word story, which was first published on April 1, 2014, is on sale for the next week at the price of £0.99.

Choices, choices, choices

I bet most people thought the end of Princess For Hire would never come, huh? I bet you were all thinking it was just another piece of abandoned writing on the site, left to forever linger on the cusp of a conclusion.

It wouldn't surprise me. Heck, I've got a LOT of unfinished stuff here. Hence, what I'm about to ask:

Which one of my old stories should I finish next?

East coast meeting in NJ


I attended the meeting on Sat 11/1. I had a great time and met the most wonderful people. Erin, Piper (Amy and Ninja Baby), Cat, and Becky left me awed by their tech abilities and all they do for BC. I admire them and must confess to a bit of jealousy that they can at least sometimes openly express their inner self. The conversation was vibrant and jovial. No one asked personal questions but we were free to share our interests and background.

DVD's, Stacks, and Twilight

So, I do not own a TV and do not wish to purchase one. I watch DVD's on my ancient Dell XPS 430. Sometimes to watch a Video disk, it is like dragin a dead mule through the mud. It freezes, or won't load and it seems impossible to predict when it will happen. At first I thought I could solve this with new DVD drive, but once I got a message that Windows 7 could not read the disk. Out of 5 disks of "Twilight", two were exceedingly frustrating, while the other three played without issue. Last night, the last disk would not load at all, so I just went to bed.

Transgender Day of Remembrance, a short list

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Note: I live about two (2)to three (3) miles west of where Michelle Sherman's body was found. It is a high crime area, according to my real estate broker.


Bondfire Night

Yes its that time of year again when we Brits celebrate the failure of dissident terrorists' attempt to kill our King and destroy our Parliament, we have long memories, it was in 1605, over 400 years ago!

A bit nearer to home, its time to celebrate the release of the next instalment of Gaby - Culture Clash, Part the Second is now available for your Kindle from Amazon and for other formats via Lulu. The third stanza is underway and should be ready for release at the end of November.

Surely the prizewinner?

I just spat my tea over my keyboard when I read this one:

"The Pathologist reports that it was a single blow to the head that caused death. Other observations were that there was bruising around the rib area and his genitalia showed that he was circus sized.........."

Women buying men's underwear is NOT equality

Women are buying men's underwear

Article’s original title :-
‘Why women are buying men’s underwear’ – copyright acknowledged per Guardian 29 Oct 2014

The article says it was ‘Prompted by the M&S claim about half of their men’s underwear is bought by women. Meanwhile, Acne have launched a line of ‘gender-neutral’ underpants.’ It then asked the banal and feeble question - Are men’s undies the latest example of unisex fashion?

Not sure when or if I will be posting new chapters

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The past two days I've been a little down. I'd been trying to keep in touch with my kids since I left Vancouver and was getting a bit depressed after my last email to them on Halloween got no replies. I was in chat talking with Erica Jane when I decided to check again. I got a response fro my 17 year old pretty much telling me to stay the fuck out of their lives and stop trying to stay in contact with them after "what I did leaving to be with your boyfriend so you could be happy".

Vote or Don't Complain

If you don't vote you can complain. You still have that right. But, is it right to complain if you don't vote?

"But my vote don't count." If you don't vote your vote won't count.

Voting is an obligation. You must vote.

I'll make it easier for you to vote:

How Soon Is Too Soon?

So... inspiration!

I haven't had enough of this lately, but it seems to be in ample supply at the moment, and barring anything horrible happening within the next 24 hours I'm well on track to have the NEXT part of PFH ready to post either some time this afternoon, or tomorrow.

The question, then, is this: do you WANT me to go ahead and post it? Or, would you rather I wait until I finish the story?

yet another free idea for whoever wants it

I have another free idea to give away.

Setup like this:

A ordinary man is home alone, when suddenly two imp-like beings suddenly appear. He asks "What exactly is going on here?"

And one of the imps says to the other "She wants to know exactly, does she?"

"That's what she said" says the other.

"What do you mean, 'She'?" says the man ....

Take it from there!

I'm back safely


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I'm back home after most of a week spent with Piper and Cat (and Becky and Amy and Liam) in the wilds of South Jersey. I had a lot of fun and we had our BC meeting in a Chinese restaurant in Glassboro. It was pouring down rain so that may have affected our turnout but we did have two more people show up for the meeting.

More later it is late in the early morning and I'm pooped. :)

Hugs to all,

looking for an old story

I am looking for a story I read here or on fictionmania.

It was about a boy who lives in a world where mankind is battling spirits, demons, or aliens.

They are tested as children to see if they have an ability to use a special energy.

The 4 types of energy are fire, water, earth, and wind

No Twice Removed after all

I was really hoping that I would be able to get Twice Removed done by tonight so I'd still have a chapter this week, but with trying to finish Pirouette and other projects, having a really busy day today, and a bit of an emotional breakdown tonight over some personal stuff, I just won't be able to do it.



Ack! My muse has ADD.

Gah! I know (and curse myself everyday) that I have 2 open stories - Dead Ringer & Summer of Love - that I have seemingly abandoned.
Not entirely true.
Due to life distractions, I seem to have scared away the muse that was fueling both stories, and I continue struggling to advance them on my own... initially, offline.
Trust me - muse-less story continuation is not publishable. But I am determined to finish what I started,.. with or without my muse.. however long it takes to do it right,

Should I avoid starting a countdown?


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Well, I am now only two weeks away from my lecture at my church. I have finished my notes, and just need to print them out, and run through them a couple times, and I will be as ready as I can be.

But since butterflies seem inevitable, maybe I should avoid a countdown?

What do you guys think?

She implies she 'understands' transgender - Pfaff

Jenny McCarthy 'feels like a man in a Playboy bunny suit' - good grief - give me patience !!

Via PrideSource, Daily Mail etc & [copyrights obviously acknowledged!)

Jenny McCarthy ( ?from the Daily Mail – October 2014)

Jenny McCarthy recently revealed that she has always felt a little transgender on the inside (in an interview with PrideSource). And now, we’ll spend the next 300 or so words trying to figure out exactly what that means.

(Insert Witty Title Here)

So.... Now that I've got my sleep under control. Time to get back into writing.

Except I'm having a hard time adjusting. Fun stuff as it is, I found an article that sort of helps. How to Put Yourself into an Effortless Writing Zone

What I'd like to know is if the rest of BC has any tips and tricks they've found to help with getting them to where they can write.

Funding for 'The Experiment'...

I am sorry everyone...funding for 'The Experiment' is on the line... I am not sure if it will be able to continue...

LOL -- If you are following the story: I have several upcoming business trips--one starting tomorrow (for most of the week)... There are other trips coming up that are going to impact my writing--and more importantly-- my ability to post...

I posted the fourth chapter ahead of schedule tonight. It may be next week (as in after next Sunday) before I can post again...or, if I can before then, it may be intermittent, at best...

Punctuation of thoughts

Greetings to my friends and, especially all the authors who have shared their stories here at The Big Closet.

One of my G+ friends shared this link which I thought would be of interest since many of our stories feature internal dialogue where the character has thoughts that aren't shared with other characters and may differ substantially from what they actually say in the story.

Well. It's f$%&ing snowing!

Tonite we set the clocks back an hour, and it's freaking snowing! Here in western N.Y. State we get more than our share of this nasty, dangerous white garbage, but we usually don't get anything appreciable until later in November. Oh well. living here has it's advantages and it's disadvantages, just like most everywhere else.

That doesn't mean I don't hate sn@w just the same. It just means I gotta put up with this crap til spring.


Catherine Linda Michel

While re-reading ....

.... Through the Years I remembered that I'd read another story but I can't remember the author or title.

From what I remember there is a family cabin or summer house by a lake, main character and his/her parents and grandparent, for a celebration, maybe his/her birthday.

Getting your message across

I woke up this morning thinking about why we write. All of us, not just “authors”. The answer, of course is that we have something to say. It might be how it feels to be transgendered, or about seeing the humor in a difficult situation. It might be “I hurt”, and here’s why. It might be as simple as “I’m too tired to write an episode tonight.”.

It’s all about communicating something about our selves. As such, this communication deserves the dignity of having it’s message stated clearly, and without confusion.

Just a bit surreal.

so... I'm sitting here, reading, watching Ghosthunters and just generally enjoying a peaceful, quiet Halloween evening. My phone rings and my best friend, my housemate, my landlady kinda, is calling me.

Now, to preface this just a bit, Tina and I have shared living accommodations for over 20 years and have been friends for longer than that. She has been one of the best things to happen to me during my transition. Totally accepting and supportive. I am Godparent to her youngest daughter (now 21)

free story idea!

Because my muse gives me more ideas than I can possibly use, I want to give away an idea to anybody who wants it (For free!)

Here's the pitch::

Remember the movie "What women want"? A man (played by Mel Gibson) suddenly gets the power to read the thoughts of woman.

But what if, no sooner than he figures out he cant read the thoughts of men, he finds out he can read the surprisingly feminine thoughts of a closeted trans woman?

What would happen next?

Well, that's up to whoever takes the idea and runs with it.

Have fun writing, everybody!



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I took a girl friend today to see the poppies.

For those who don't know, the veterans in this country set up a charity called the British Legion, who do their best to look after the wreckage left by war, whether it involves the veterans themselves or their families. Each year, as Remembrance Sunday/Armistice Day approaches, there is the poppy appeal. Paper or enamel poppy badges are sold to raise money for the charity.

Athena's Wisdom, and other stuffs.

Hi all. I'll be posting Issue Eight of Athena's Wisdom later tonight. Then, there won't be any for a while, because I'm going to be doing Nanowrimo this year. It's no secret that I'm not the fastest writer out there, and I'm hoping that doing Nanowrimo this year will help with that.

I'm starting from scratch too. I haven't picked anything from my project folder to work up, or done an outline. So wish me luck if you will, and let me know if there's any interest in seeing it here on the site.

No Twice Removed today

Hi folks, just letting you all know that I probably won't be posting Twice Removed this week until Saturday. I'm busy with a few rl things at the moment and trying to finish up a story I've been working on for the Back to School contest. There will be a chapter this week it'll just be delayed a few days.

*big hugs to you all*


No Clownfish

I probably should have posted this sooner---like on Monday---but I forgot.

Anyway, there will be no Clownfish update this week. Sleep and I have not been friends the last week or so and I've been trying---and failing---to catch up. Hopefully I'll be well rested next week to write Ch.9 :)

In the meantime, I'm gonna try to get something done for tomorrow if I can :)

Sometimes I Feel Like Starting A Revolution

I received some depressing news this evening.

A dear friend of mine (I'll refer to her as 'T') embarked on a civil partnership with a lovely girl ('S') in the summer of 2012. The ceremony was conducted here in the UK.

T is a British citizen, S is from South Africa. In 2013 S was informed that she was no longer welcome to stay in the UK. The reasons given boiled down to the fact that the couple didn't earn enough per annum for the government to allow them to remain together here. S subsequently returned to South Africa.

Oh dear - what is a 'shutter'?

Hi all,

I came across a misapplied word in a passage a month or two ago.

As far as I was concerned, a shutter is something you use to pull across a window to either block the light (to a certain extent) or the wind, when it's stormy. Or both.
I supposed that it could be someone employed to go around shutting things.
I know that cameras have shutters.

In this last week, I have now seen the same misapplied word no less than eight times.

"I don't know how long I lay on that cold and dirty tiled floor, shuttering."

Stuck in a Holding Pattern, but I'm Okay

I sleep all night and a write all day... Oops. Sorry. Got carried away for a second there ;-) This is a long overdue blog post, and I'm sorry to say it's not as informative as I'd like it to be, but that's because there's a lot of good things happening that I don't want to curse!

Caution: Mild language. Only mild, though.

Why I have chosen to not make further comment


I am not someone who has ever connected with people.
I have been diagnosed with something called "Social Anxiety Syndrome", however that is just a fancy way of saying that
I am a loser that no one wants to really bother with.
I thought that, perhaps, I could interact, on limited basis, with some of you on this site.
I fear that I have merely imposed myself, once again, where I am not truly wanted.
So, you will not see me logging in again.
I know most will say, 'so what?', or 'who cares'.
But for those that I have offended, I apologize.

Hatbox Gifts Still Short of Goal to Keep BC Running


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We've gotten a lot of contributions so far this month and thanks to everyone who has chipped in. After paying hundreds in bills this month, we are current on all but one of them. We've got some more bills coming at the end of the week and early next month, and we're a bit short of our goal with less than a week to go, so whatever any one can do will be greatly appreciated.

Someone wanted a breakdown of expenses. I've done this before but it gets complicated and lately I haven't been doing it. But here it is in round numbers.

Being Human

I never saw Eurovision 2014 but was impressed by this BBC radio interview given by Conchita Wurst and Tom Neuwirth

It made me think about those on BC whose comments have introduced me to a wider cross-section of humanity than I'd previously given thought to and I hope this is of interest to some of you.

Pain and agony


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The infection is back and it's in full swing. My foot is swollen again all the way up to the calf muscle. I am in so much pain I cannot sleep. The doctor gave me pain pills. While they make my head all foggy and interfere with my ability to write, they do nothing for the actual pain. The doctor I have doesn't listen to a word I say, nor does she allow me to actually express everything that's on my mind as she hurriedly tries to shoo me out the door. I have obamacare, which let me go to one doctor which is a free clinic. Don't know what I'm paying monthly into.

I can breath, and I can sleep


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Breathing is great. I can breath through my nose now that I've had my deviated septum fixed.

Being able to breath is wonderful.

Since the stents were removed last Thursday, each night I've gotten a full 8 hours or more sleep.

Sleep is wonderful.

I've already made progress on my writing. A few chapters have made it into rough draft. No more defaulting to sleep when I try to write.

So excited now.

Away for a bit

So my little side-story came out before I anticipated it would, but there you go. I have this character defect where I find it difficult to sit on a story. I even managed to write another chapter of SEE.

Unfortunately, there won't be another one for a while... I'm off to that place again, you know the one, where men are men and the women seem to be mostly men as well...


So there I am, working through a twelve hour night shift which is actually thirteen hours due to the end of Summer Time, and I get bored enough to stick my name into that search engine and see if anyone else has said anything about my books. They have.

Specifically, about 'Viewpoints' and 'Cider Without Roses'. What they have said, via Wordpress, is "Don't bother giving her any money, just download this pdf we've made"

Plausible budget?


I was working on the spreadsheet of a budget sheet for the county of Maurice for my story 'The Bride's Groom'. After I'm done with it though, I notice a problem. The amount of gold being handled in a small island country such as Maurice is too much! Considering that 1 gold can buy a man two loaves of french bread, the amount here is incredible. Yes, I know, someone will say that "No way they have such advanced taxation system in Victorian England or the decimals." Well, I choose to have advanced taxation system, because for the purpose of the story, I can't use an annual tax type.

If you're the praying type ...


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If you're the praying type, I could use some good vibes right now

My mom had to get a rental car while her car is being repaired, which is putting a serous strain on our already tight budget. I'm starting to think I cant afford to get a passport, which means no consult, no SRS, its going to be over for me.

It feels like as soon as something positive happens, something comes along to take it away, and I feel like a rat who navigated the maze only to find out the cheese was plastic ...

I'm so tired .... so very, very tired ...

I need a miracle ...



I'm confused.
I went to the SAAQ (or the DMV if you prefer), look like that Canada Post lost my new driver license :(
So every body is nice, very good service and fast !!!
What bugs me is the person that took my new picture called for Miss. !!! but I don't present as a women, to mush baldness to mush beard. There is the M for sex and my first name is not what you can call feminine.

Life is pretty strange some time.
Hug for all tmf

Peace, Love, Freedom, Happiness

Tutoring ESL Students


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I am sat here thinking that I have gotten us in to a right mess Ollie. So, a few years ago, I helped a rather nice Saudi gentleman to improve his English to come to America to attend College. He is in Southern Oregon attending College now. Recently another Man contacted me about the same and we have been working on him for a while.

A link to a non-TG story, but a GREAT story!

This might be the BEST superhero story I've ever read, and the writer is, IMHO, one of the best at it.

I don't often, if ever, bother with non-TG stuff, but Grover turned me on to this one and I thank Grover from my heart.

Catherine Linda Michel

< br > tag not working?



A few hours ago, I posted the 3rd chapter of The Bride's Groom and I noticed that the text in my blockquote doesn't skip a line. So I added the < br > tag and it didn't work. I thought that it's just because the blockquote coding kills internal tags, so I let it go. But then I also notice that the br tags I put at the end of the chapter also doesn't work.

Can anyone tell me what I did wrong? Or any other way I can make fix the spacing in the blockquote and the end of my chapter?

I've had this song stuck in my head all day.


The Eagles are one of my favorite bands. Writing amazing music that fit several different genres, they left a trail of hit songs that I can listen to again and again almost forty years after they were written.

Here's probably one of my most favorite songs of theirs, it's been playing inside my head all day:

Just some thoughts on who we are


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The essence of who we are..

How do we ascertain who we are? Not just as men or women, but the attributes that make us contributing and worthwhile members of society at large.

We, as transmen and transwomen are actually being given an opportunity that few others in life ever have. We have the ability and the opportunity to re-make ourselves. To truly become the people we wish to be. To embrace attributes which we find admirable, and discard things that we find less than pleasant about ourselves.

Can't display this page.

It took me about fifteen goes to post tonight's Bike, each time I tried I got this stupid message. It seems to be happening everywhere and I feel if I see it once more I'm going to throw my computer out of the window.

Can anyone explain to me why it happens and what it's supposed to mean because most of the time Windows can't detect why it happened?

I really feel like cancelling my broadband and binning this laptop, and never going near the internet again.

So You Want to Be a (Better) Writer

I just read a romance novel that explains in story form many of the do's and dont's of a good author and the writing experience:
With Seduction in Mind by Laura Lee Guhrke copyright; 2009 Avon Books.

It is also an excellent story.


Been a tough couple of days here.


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Had to take my daughter to a Medi-center today, and apparently she has the same low-iron issues her mother has.

They want her to start taking a proscription-strength iron supplement and add more iron-rich foods to her diet.

Sighs ...

Between this, my mom's accident (She got hit by a drunk driver last night. She's okay, but the car's badly damaged) and stressing over my lecture, my spoon supply is getting dangerously low ...

not better


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I went through a round of antibiotics, but I think I still have the infection in me. Lately I have been very nauseous and been going to the bathroom often. I am extremely tired and achy and have little energy to do anything. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed. and hopefully we can figure it out. I don't have much faith since this is the doctor that missed the fact that I had an infection in the first place.

Also Looking For

I believe this is a current, unfinished serial. The main character is a headstrong young lad who gets into a fight of wills with his parents. For some reason he went en fem, and his father defies him to stay that way. Rather than give in to his father he stays in the female mode. He/she had been gradually more at ease with his role. He'd had his hair done several times, but in the last episode I read, he had his hair dyed platinum blonde. I would like to go back to the beginning and follow it to the assumed conclusion.

There's More to Taking The Other Bus than you might think

I had PM'd Karin about some things, and she explained a bit more about the story. I hadn't realized what it was about. It's an interesting allegory. It's quite interesting what she did. If you haven't read it, you should. If you did and missed the allegory like I did, read it again. The clue is the bridge and what was there before.

weird few days


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I have had a lot of ups and downs the past few days. Unfortunately I've been suffering from major dehydration and had dance classes on Thursday and Friday. I also had to attend a dinner and dance last night so I've been resting and trying to keep myself hydrated when not doing those two things. It hasn't left any time to finish the chapter of Twice Removed, since I've been sleeping a lot.

The Art of Being the Imp

For those who are interested, I have recently posted the first part of a non-TG supervillain story, The Art of Being the Imp, onto the official Whateley site. As I have already posted several TG stories set in the same universe here on Big Closet, I thought that some readers might be interested in reading this one as well.

Another one from the Guardian

I'd never heard of Tom Grace until he became Laura, but apparently she's some sort of pop singer with a band I've still never heard of and according to this article, some sort of trans icon. For those interested she's making some films about trans people for AOL.

New tg anime

Hey all have you seen the new anime that started recently called ' gonna be the twin-tails! ! Or " ore, twin-tail ni narimasu". It's about a schoolboy who saves girls with pigtails from aliens by turning into a pigtail girl himself with power armour. Too kewl and hilarious

An interesting article on a murder in Brisbane


The link below is a thought provoking article about a murder suicide, the murder victim being a transgender woman, the suicide her partner. The events took place in Brisbane, Australia, and the article is as much about the Australian media's treatment of what is essentially a tragedy for everyone concerned.

Mysoginistic games

I suppose this will only mean something to you if you really, really want to be a woman. If you are just playing in girl's clothes, drinking beer, burping and bellowing at footie games, perhaps not so much.

I do not know how many of you here play Video Games. Every time I have tried some "guy" just kills me and walks away. Grrrr

So I had not thought of it much anymore until I heard Anita Sarkeesian speak on YouTube about how sexist video games are. Listening to her speak wakened something in me that I can best describe perhaps as being "Pissed Off, spitting mad!

When Women Become Men at Wellesley (Article - NYT)

There's not a "News" category, so I just picked a couple that are somewhat relevant.

Apparently, there's an increasing number of TG's coming out at womens colleges. The article above is specifically about one 'trans-man' at Wellesley, but with asides about other colleges.

Gifts Are What Keep BC running...


It's that time of month again. We've already paid several hundred in bills this month and we will be paying about more hosting fees and software fees later in the month, plus the amount we pay Piper for being available for all the work she does.

As always, these gifts are greatly appreciated and go for more than just keeping BC online since we host several other community sites and are getting involved with several more.