TopShelf Blogs

My apology for lying

Well, I owe everybody an apology. I lied to you all. The picture on my profile is my best friend Jessica. A very supportive friend I might add. Im not a girl or transgendered for that matter. Im just gay. And I've struggled with this because my family is very conservative and I felt had I been a girl my life would be easier so I thought I was transgendered, I found this great community who accepted all of that without question so I created this person who wasnt me but who I wanted to be. I created this persona, a back story, a whole life. A life that was a lie.

Sometimes Things Just Go Right


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There are some things in life that are unobtainable, like the legendary white stag. Everyone has that one thing they've wanted, and every organization has that one lofty goal that every member seeks.

Today (or, in point of fact, last night,) I have obtained one of those goals.

I am now a full-time employee.

Tiny House Architecture Lessons


I don't know about the rest of you but I find the tiny house movement fascinating, especially in what I believe it can tell us.

I believe taking some of the Tiny House architecture techniques(the hidden spaces) into the commercial housing industry will work wonders. Notably, talking to a homeowner to create a minimalist aesthetic in practice will create untold peace and productivity as well. Add a little bit of natural human chaos and you have a real positive architecture movement taking hold.

a small step forward


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I have talked before about being primed for trauma - how even small things can end up being re-lived as nightmares, so I am happy to report whenever I make any progress on any of these lesser traumas.

The one I am making progress on at the moment is the end of my relationship with Kylie. For months after our breakup, I found myself reliving the last conversation we had over and over again, bruising my heart every time I did so.

Fight for what's right


Wow! if it is enforceable, this is a major plus for the transsexual community as a whole in the United States. My question will be, will this ruling only affect those who are on Obama Care insurance or will it become inclusive to all health care policies for everyone across the nation? I have not been an Obama supporter but I will change much of my protest of his policies if he can make this stick. I know that the religious right will fight this tooth and nail. I just hope in the end they get their teeth knocked out.

Rainbow Bridge


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Today I have performed a task that I have done many times since I was a little girl. Last night I could not find my cat Jon. Today I searched the house and still could not find him. When I left the house to take care of some tasks I spotted Jon under a bush. I had been having the feeling all day that Jon was no longer with me because he had been refusing to eat, even the tuna from a can that had been opened for sandwiches. When I got back to the house I got the pillow case he loved to lay down in and placed him inside it.

Transgender Teens speak to their future self.


I have just read an article in which young transgender teens make a video for their ten year older self. Here is the link:

This is a thoughtful article however it is a shame that it cannot be the other way around

I am certain my younger self would love to have known it all turned out well. Ah well

Love to all

Anne G.

"You don't need to bother/I don't need to be"


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In chapter 1 of the Dark Realms story, My So Called (Un)Life, Loki has the protagonist sitting on a rooftop, performing Bother by Stone Sour. I followed the link, snagged the video, and uploaded a reprocessed version with an uncensored audio track.

Sometimes You Just Don't Know What To Feel

It's the refugee crisis. I know how I should be responding to it, but still...

This could be a turning point in European history. I'm living this stuff and I have no idea how I want it to turn out. My heart says help these people, my head imagines the worst. I cast my mind back to the Salman Rushdie book burnings and I shudder.

Sitting at home in all of my finery... Almost a story...

Wearing my LBD, corset, appropriate padding and short bob style brunette wig, my biggest eyelashes and light makeup, dark red fingernails and my male mode slippers as my neighbours are complaining when I wear my heels... finishing off a bottle of nice Italian wine. Alone...

My "girlfriend" of the last 3+ years had not even bothered to try to meet me on her birthday several days ago, and last time I've seen her in person was somwhere in July...

A book review everyone really should read

I've touted the works of Seanan McGuire before, but this time it has special meaning to our community. Her latest novel, A Red-Rose Chain, was released on September 1st. It is the ninth in her October Daye series, and in my opinion, it is fantastic, the best yet, with all the elements I have come to expect from this author. Suspense, drama, action, all woven together with outstanding dialogue and character interactions.

Buying online help BCTS


if you buy online Please use Amazon as BCTS gets commission on purchases
1. use link on upper left of home page
2. log in
3. use search for what you are looking for (link brings you to TG stories)
4. then follow checkout as normal and BCTS gets a percentage
this will help with monthly operating expenses

Can't edit story title


Erin, I can't add a chapter II to the series Horse Talk. I don't have a "my stories link" or a way to edit the story. Might have to do with others posting my stories before I ever logged onto BC.

If you can and don't mind, add Chapter II to the second Horse Talk post. If it is too much trouble ignore it. The readers can figure it out. I'll be sure to add chapter numbers from here on out.

Life is meant to be lived, not worn until worn out.

Justice this time


As BarbieLee posted via blog earlier today about the woman who's parents tried to block her GRS, justice this once is done. I have just read and her-by post the article showing that justice in this case is fulfilled. To say the least, I'me amazed!! The USA justice system is so broken and corrupt.

Hurrah for this lady and I wish her all the best in her new anatomical correctness.

Parents try and block 48 yr old trans surgery


Sadly, another case of those outside looking in thinking TG is a mental disorder. The lady has had drugs, alcohol addiction, mental depression. (can anyone understand why?) Now she's not fit to make a decision and live the life she seeks?
A transgender woman whose parents went to court Wednesday to block her gender-reassignment surgery said she would rather die on the operating table than continue living with male anatomy.

By the way, love her dress. She has good taste in fashion.

A bit of a giggle for you all


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Okay, here is a bit of a giggle for you all.

When I got my tire replaced, I was told I would have to come back in to get something done after 50 k or so, so when I woke up this afternoon I phoned about making an appointment.

Now, because I had to sign legal stuff, I was using my male name when talking with the guy.

Except that when he was talking to me on the phone, he called me ma'am.

Apparently, my voice is feminine enough that he ... slipped up, as it were.

Not that I mind ...


A short diatribe on hypocrisy.....

For those who don't live within the United States and don't follow the political goings on here, and for those who do live here but perhaps live in a cave or with their heads in the sand, the United States Supreme Court recently ruled that same sex marriage is legal throughout the "several states" as the Constitution refers to it.


An author once challenged me for posting a comment to one of her stories that I had not finished reading, from which I had bailed out early. I remarked that, were I to wait for completion before writing my own life’s story, it would have to be after I had crossed over to the other side…in which case, I would need to employ a “ghost” writer. Having just read The Old Alhambra and A Gift for Alex, I am sure I know who I would like that ghost writer to be.

back to the grindstone

Well i'm back three weeks after leaving, almost to the hour as I write this.

So, i'm back from Friesland (different areas spell it differently) with a bunch of photos, tired legs and a couple of kilos less me! The sun didn't always shine but we both enjoyed the 1400km plus trip.
We visited 8 islands, used 13 ferry services, enjoyed blistering heat and thunderstorms and took @ 3000 photographs!

Now i'm back home normal service should resume this week and i'll crack on with more writing - 39 more chapters to write of book 14!

Gender Hypocrisy


The only time we define being a man or being a woman by genitalia is when that man or woman is transgender.

Think about it? When you ask a person what's it mean to be a man, having a penis doesn't even make the list. It's always about being strong, being good with your hands, being able to fight, being able to fix things, being a person of action. But if it's a transman asking the question, the first words out of people's mouth is having a penis and testicles. That is the hypocrisy of mainstream society.

Aug 31-birthday wishes

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Taxonomy upgrade extras: 


Today August 31 is our good friend Da11as' birthday. May today be wonderful and filled with well wishes for you today. Many hugs to you Dally. please enjoy this day as much as you can. I'd very much like to get together next year to share a drink and cake if we can. Much love Valkyrie Sister and we salute you!

(alecia) Snowfall

Fighting the religious right!


So, I work Midnight's at a international convenience store, and have a customer that is so far right he makes Donald Trump look mild. He's against gender equality, abortions (I'm going to hell as I don't believe it's any of my business what another person does with his or her body) and he believes that anyone in the LGBT community will even be rejected by Satan himself.

He told me "God doesn't make mistakes. Members of the LGBT community choose to live this lifestyle. A good religious treatment center will cure them of the sin."

EAFOAB - life imitates art.

I was nearly terminated while out on a bike ride today, a car came up to a T-junction which I was cycling across and therefore had right of way, when he just carried on obviously not seeing me despite me wearing an orange, back and white jacket. The only reason I'm able to write this is because I took avoiding action, half expecting it to happen. I'm getting tired of having to think for all the morons driving round in lethal weapons that cars are and I feel the law ought to be changed to reflect the fact that most car-bike collisions are the fault of the driver.

Still alive and kicking

Hey there everybody,

I just wanted to give everyone an update as to what mischief I have been up to.

Still editing Transitioning Home, mostly because I see a number of issues and plot holes. Sheesh... I thought it was all good to go but apparently I am taking the crack. I was also looking over Splintered Life and realized there are a few more chapters lurking around in there. So that will get pulled at some point, fyi.

I hate weather change


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I absolutely detest it when the weather changes, since it causes my copd to act up. :(
Having no energy to do anything but sleep because it is so hard to breathe, just because it started to rain / got dry / got windy / wind dies down ... ( ad nauseum )

then today, we got a wind storm, which broke a window it was so strong. 20 minutes later[ 11:30 am PDT ] CABOOM one of the electrical transformers just behind the building exploded.


11:44 PM and we finally got power back

She talks to Horses


Thinking about posting a story after I mentioned it and someone asked. It is NOT a life shift story. In other words, non transexual or transgender. I started it years back, forgot it until last couple days. It is a couple hundred pages long and NOT finished. I have more unfinished stories than I'm going to tell. I'm not even sure myself. Couple dozen? Who remembers the stories they wrote anyway? Start a story, real life calls, forget the story before I get back, and maybe remember it years later if something jogs the circuits in the mind?

The ironic downside to losing weight...


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In other words, after weeks of dieting and exercise, I've come to the unsettling realization that I was more passable when I was fat. (Less fat means my features are more angular and hence, less feminine). I essentially lost my best asset when I lost the weight, and earlier today, I suffered the consequences.

It was a good day. I'd been pretty good about trying to eat healthy and and at least cut down on the bad stuff, and the results are beginning to show. The weather was warmer than it's been over the past week, with the promise of it becoming warmer still tomorrow. All in all, nothing to complain about.

That's usually a danger sign. It's like an open invitation to God/Fate/the cosmos to give me their worst. And sure enough, that's exactly what happened.

Important for TG in Houston - but possibly upsetting.

The Mayor of Houston, Annalise Parker, has been pushing some legislation on allowing bathrooms to be used by gender presentation, rather than just by physical sex.

Unfortunately, there's a very vocal group that has some NASTY radio ads going - the site itself isn't bad, but the radio ads are very misleading.

Here's some information on the proposed ordinance. (with some information on the group)

A special birthday wish.....

I just found out that Smowfall is another year older and I wanted to shout "Happy Birthday!" from the rooftops, but I had to settle for this.

Here's wishing you a very special day Hon. Since mine is just after yours maybe next year we can get together and celebrate over a glass or two of wine.

Thank you for sharing your writing talent with me, and thank you for your insightful and supportive comments. They are greatly appreciated - even if I didn't get the kitten PJ's.

Blog Entry 28th August 2015- Get it Together!

I'm supposed to be writing the third chapter of Stephanie, but instead, I'm writing a blog post... Yeah. It's been a while, and I haven't thought of a song title yet to match to this post, but I'm sure I'll stick a link here eventually-

A Thank You to all who read "Headlights Girl."

To my amazed delight, my story, "Headlights Girl," has reached over 11,000 hits! I'm not certain this is from new people actually clicking on and reading the story or if it's the result of all the hits on it from old Big Closet and the new version getting totalled, but for whatever reason I am grateful to every single one of you who clicked on and read the story.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH! And Thanks too to whoever re-posted it so newer people could read it!

Catherine Linda Michel

Going Mainstream

Well, it seems the Transgender community has come of age and has finally gone mainstream. I wonder if the story below is related to the 26 August 2015 Reuters news story, 'Wanted: Transgender actors for Hollywood, little experience required?'


rose coloured glasses

so a very common theme i've noticed pop up in a lot of stories is that a mother character will be very supportive of a child's change while the father will be either neutral or against it. I'm curious why this is, since the opposite can be just as true. Are we as non-gender conforming individuals biased to believe that all mothers are very pure? I'm not sure that's true since there are so many stories where a mother forcibly feminizes her son, but curiously there is no father available in these stories.

looking for a story

Story about a brother and sister brother was always pick on at school so as they got older sister was getting tired of it so much that one day as the two of them was driving home she saw them she ran them over the brother loving his sister so much took the blame for it they found him guilty. Ended up on death row. The government knew he was innocent but had to make it look good they turn him into a girl. Hope some one remembers the story thank you.

Looking at upgrading to Gigabit Internet(questions).


I'm looking at upgrading to Gigabit Internet and had some questions for the even more intensive tech. people here, at least in terms of networking. So Piper and others..
First, is CAT5e cable backwards compatible with CAT5 devices if they don't support 1 gb. ethernet? I'm looking at my PS3 and on the Wiki page it says that it supposedly supports 1 Gigabit internet but it's Wiki. I'd just use CAT6 to futureproof it all but I get the impression it wouldn't hash with non-gigabit ports.

It kind of sucks


I wanted to blog. I really did. I wanted to talk about gender and the difference between being transgender and just thinking what would it be like to be the other gender. I'm sure many guys out there wonder what it would be like to be a girl. I don't think that would be the same as wanting to be a girl. Even Jeff Foxworthy does a routine about picturing himself as a woman.

I had a rough night last night.


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I had a rough night last night, awakening around 4:00 AM in tears. You see, I had a rather horrible dream.

Trust me, I am no stranger to nightmares and bad dreams - I have lived a good percentage of my adult life with them as I relive the worst of my memories from the service in my sleep. Those dreams and nightmares have almost become like old friends. But last night was different.

About private "Dicks"...

Pursuing idea stememmed from Sue Broun story...
What if all of the guys in the "seedy" joint were lured there by hiring them to follow someone? Still most of the ideas of how to continue them comes from the old ancdote where God appeared in front of the one of the intended shipwreck victims to say - "it was not trivial to gather all of the sinners on that one ship."

Stare at your work until you hate it

so I've been writing a little chapter for someone (with permission) to get back into writing. Seriously ADHD sucks something fierce but as I'm writing it I just shake my head and glower at my screen. I really don't like my own writing and I am insulting myself in my head over it, disliking my word usage, grammar and the structure of the story.

Is that normal? Or am I in a unique circle of hell here?

TWO New eBooks Published!

So very happy to announce TWO new eBooks on sale !

Cigarettes are a Girl's Best Friend by SlimV

13-year-old Jimmy gets caught dressing in his mother's clothes and smoking her cigarettes. Is he a big girl now?

You never know when your last day is

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I friend of mine just lost her 32 Y O niece to a robbery , she was stabbed they got her to the hospital and surgery and she died of her injuries a week later. You never know when your last day is going to be , so very sad .
Live life everyday to it's fullest .
Be yourself . Be happy who you are . Be true to your heat , if your are trans , be proud of the beautiful person you are .
HUGS to all are BCTS family --- RICHIE

Does Suicide Have A Place On BC

Years ago I wrote It Brings On Many Changes.

The lyrics to the song that inspired the title were written by a fourteen-year old Mike Altman. It was meant to be "the stupidest song ever".

That suicide is painless
It brings so many changes
And I can take or leave them if I please

The Rights of the Community

Two topics:

  • Bathroom use is going to be a major issue, "Bathroom Gate" is back again.
  • LGBT discrimination, and many political issue for those of the LGBT community.

Trans-People's Rights

Writing The Truth

I've been working on a personal project for quite some time that is the pure unembellished truth. It is frank and brutal at times, and at other times it is happy and joyful. It is partially TG, but most of it is not even remotely about that.

To maintain complete ownership of the story, I will not employ an editor but perhaps a proof reader. The publisher will agree to keep the story intact.

odd Idea

What the hell is a Taxonomy upgrade extra I don't even-


I am slowly (very slwoly) plunking away at Silver Wings, i'm just not good at getting stuff started, this includes chapters. I'm lazy :/

That aside, I've had a weird thought buzzing in my head all day and i"d like to know what other people think of it.

Basically the idea is that a boy is pulled nito a magical world where the population is primarily female, and along the way he is made into a she. But there is a catch.

Do famous transgender people help the cause?

Another offering from the Guardian (where else?), wondering when they start to call it the TG Times. It does have some interesting elements as well as the pro and con comments afterwards.

In motion--even if I don't know where I'm going


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I haven't been doing any writing, I admit. However, I think I might have the best possible excuse.

Last week, I decided to do the one thing I'd been putting off forever--no, not removing the colony of unidentifiable life forms from my refrigerator, though I need to do that too. In short, I've taken advantage of a special program for low-income people and joined the "Y".

Why the "Y"? (Hee hee). Allow me to elucidate.

I had to giggle yesterday...


A bit of background first: I'm unable to transition for many reasons including being 5'-20" tall. Yet, I'm also 47, XXY and the proud owner of some natural A+/B-- breasts on my otherwise slender frame. Since I'm posting here, I'll give you three guesses what my mental gender alignment is...

So yesterday I got asked by a male coworker If my recent injury (dislocated wrist) has impacted my training regimen much - and indicated towards my pecs. I told him I might have to transition to something different.

The Rusted Blade...

I just looked for Kitn's story, 'The Rusted Blade' and was unable to find either it or even an author named Kitn. I was going to read it again but it seems to have been removed.

Edit: I just went into check the post and see if it turned out ok and lo and behold down below were links to the story. DOH!! lol Not sure why I couldn't find it using the search feature though.


Being a Depressed Person


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Many people have a chemical imbalance that causes depression. Others have forms of PTSD. I'm in the latter category.

I'm getting better, and that is a fact. I was a mess last Christmas, I let my anti depression meds run out and was spending Christmas alone (actually, it just felt that way).

MoonGoddess posted a thread something like this, and I responded. I agree with everything she said, if you are suffering you don't need to! Get help!

The rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated…


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A lot of niggling little health issues have kept me away for about 19 months, but, I’ve dodged the major problems that often come with age: Heart, cancer, stroke, and diabetes have so far passed me by… So far.

What I’ve discovered is; Getting older ain't for wimps.
In Feb of 2014 I had all my lower teeth extracted after 4 abscesses that had caused constant sinus infections for 2 years. The dentist: “Gee, I never noticed that before but I don’t think teeth would cause that…” In the last 19months I only had 1 sinus infection.

Coming very soon to BCTS

We have been busy with RL, mainstream publishing projects and a host of other things.
However we will shortly be releasing our latest book here on BCTS.

The English Courtesan


The lives of two people, separated by centuries, are slowly drawn together as the mystery surrounding a portrait some believe is an undiscovered work by a Renaissance master is unraveled.

does this sound familiar?


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Imagine the scene. A mother is talking to someone else

'I didn't have a daughter. I had a son who turned out a bit different'

Sounds familiar?

This was in a brief scenes of a forthcoming BBC TV series. It starts in September.

I wonder if it might turn out to be a tad interesting.

I only caught the tail end of the advert so I can't remember what the series was called.



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There have been a lot of cases of sexual assault in the news lately, and as a result I've been hearing a lot about ''closure". In most cases, its referred to in relation to whether or not an abuser can be charged with a crime.

Sadly, that's not an option for me, so the question becomes, can I still get "closure" if I cant watch my abuser be locked up for his crime?

I think I can.

Doing what I'm doing now, slowly healing, becoming stronger, getting support from my many friends, praying and writing and living my life.

That's my plan, at any rate.