“I know you. Fact is I know hundreds just like you. Gateshead wasn’t it. You were about to blow me in to Social Services weren’t you? Nosey busy bodies like you should learn to just mind your own business. I know you’ll blow me in because you’re a teacher and you have to. I don’t need Social Services and I don’t need you, your do gooder intentions, nor your sympathy. I’ve no intention of telling you or anyone else anything about me. Bye.”

Chapter 19 - High School

And so I continued to grow up. The usual things that happen to teenage girls happened to me. For the most part, my life as a transgendered girl wasn't too different from that of any schoolgirl, but I'll hit some of the highlights.

Chapter 14 - The Birthday Party

Have you ever gotten so busy that you forget some important stuff? By the middle of February I was settling in to my new school and new friends and identity. If I wasn't doing homework or thinking about school I was thinking about the upcoming play, learning the songs and dialog and wondering who was going to be playing Colin and Dickon.

Chapter 12 - Tales Of Boobs and Bubbles

By Sunday my wonderful, fabulous, womanly new breasts had me in a sticky situation. Really. The things kept sticking to my chest. I had to look around and if nobody was looking I kind of stuck my fingers in my bra and tried to adjust them to be more comfortable.

Chapter 9 - Meeting The Family

I was going to Ursuline!

Done deal, right?

Oh for the simple outlook of a eleven-year-old.

Chapter 8 - Ursuline Academy

"And to what do we owe the pleasure of your company this morning, Annie?" asked Dad at breakfast.

"Why Dad, isn't my presence always a pleasure?"

"I refuse to answer because I might have to tell the truth."

"Chip, be nice to your daughter."

"He's never nice to me," grumped Kate.

"I guess that means you don't want a lift to the mall?" snarked Dad.

"I'll just have my boyfriend take me."

"Joanna! Where's my baseball bat?"

Part One
Yet again Lindsay was dreaming. The dream was strange but as usual vivid and sharply detailed. It seemed to involve being in a bed in a small room with numerous folk dressed in blue and others in white coats looking at inexplicable things that had moving patterns on them that seemed to almost but never quite constantly repeat themselves. They also looked at objects that made strange noises at regular intervals. Lindsay was aware that there were a number of tubes and white string like things seemingly connected to the bed. However, like many of Lindsay’s dreams it was neither totally rational nor totally consistent. Lindsay’s dreams made life a living torment, for dream and reality crossed over, blended and became each other. It was impossible to determine what was a dream and what was reality. Dreaming of dreams within dreams within dreams, and dreams even deeper nested than that, dreams like images in two mirrors facing each other that reached to infinity and drew one into insanity, meant Lindsay had no idea what being awake was like, for all such experiences were probably only dreams too.

Part 2
“I want you to come home with me. I am here to arrange it all. I know about carrying the message to engage the assassin to kill Tomas, and the new dresses made by Serena your fee paid for. I know you are really a girl. I know all about your new dresses and where you keep them. I know how you get past the guards dressing as a girl, but you won’t be able to do that for much longer will you? It will not be safe for you when the guards here discover that you have been tricking them. I said I want you to come home with me, but I want you as my sister, the girl you want to be. I know you wish to be able to read and write, and I can give you that and much more too.”

Chapter 5 - Choices And Changes

Take a minute to think back to when you were eleven years old. That's sixth grade if you're in the US. If you're from someplace else you'll have to figure it out for yourself where you were in school. Some things seem to be burned indelibly into the synapses of my brain, but even the things you think you remember perfectly aren't quite the same as the things other people who were there remember.

This is about the little sensible voice that many of us have that keeps us from harm. It also, perhaps keeps us from being who I we were meant to be.

It started way before I remember. The voice in my head. The little sensible voice that keeps me from harm. The one that I always listen too.
At 5 my mother tried to dress me in a pair of girl’s knickers, I refused as sensible voice told me. “Your brother will be shouting to everyone that you wear knickers if you do” He was probably right.

It was listed on the map as “Farmington River Watershed” and in the early spring it would flood over and just about—well, once—filled the ‘Subway’ shop with about a foot of water. It was an ideal place to swim—if one did not mind swimming with various flora, fauna and whatever that was that brushed against your leg—along with just walking on the side. It was the place, that as a kid, you assumed only you knew about.

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

CAUTION - Indirect Reference to Suicidal Thoughts
CAUTION - Intense scenes involving a minor
CAUTION - Highly Emotional Content

--

Josh was 'sick' the next week, which wasn't far from the truth as he was lost in a near constant fugue state. Friday came and he was taken down to Dr. Biggs's office and got his first three-month shot of puberty blockers. The next Monday, he went back to school and met Tracy at the bus stop.

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

--

Looking himself over one last time, he nodded with resigned satisfaction. The blue satin dress looked good on him, flattering his natural curves and making him appear to be every bit the pre-teen girl he was made to become. His visits with Jennifer and the Healy family and to their church over the past two weeks had been blissful reprieves from his home life. While his parents were happy to have him come and go as he pleased, when he was home he'd had to endure a new round of pushing from his parents.

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

--

Sitting in Jennifer's bedroom, the door open, and with a promise from her parents not to 'wander by' to check up on them for at least half an hour, the two sat on her bed next to one another. Before the three had returned to the Healy's home, Josh had decided that it was now or never, so he'd asked her parents for a moment of semi-privacy to talk with Jennifer alone first.

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

--

Josh awoke at six as usual. He almost didn't need the alarm he'd set the night before, having gotten used to rising at that time anyway, but he was taking no chances. Jumping out of bed quickly, he got dressed. Putting on fresh white undies and white tights easily now that he'd had practice at it, he put on a pretty bra and then got into the skirt and blouse.

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

--

Petrified as he saw the bus coming, Josh knew it was too late to get a ride from his mother as she'd already gone to work. Getting a ride with his father, which wasn't an option as he was not due back until that afternoon, would have been more humiliating than getting on the bus in a dress. He honestly respected his parents and their right to express their opinions, but he'd gotten enough of a hard time in Primary and Intermediate school when his classmates would see the rolling campaign ad for the Democrat Party. Not because of their politics, but simply because it looked so tacky.

I hadn’t been home for a very long time. Actually, I hadn’t been home since I went away to college more than ten years ago. My parents and siblings preferred to come to the big city, New York, instead to see me. Much more exciting than our little town. The town could have been the model for a Hallmark movie. Everyone knows everybody and all that. The church socials, the Christmas market. Well, you get the picture(s).

Since I was going to move to Paris (France, not Texas) I finally decided to go back once before I moved. Of course, my family would love to visit Paris with the excuse of visiting me, so we’d still see each other but it was Christmas and all that… Also, I have to admit that part of the reason I went back was so that I could brag about my new position as the manager of our Paris office. Quite a career move for a young woman, especially one born as a boy.

Link: The Road to Hell Title Page and Description

--

Waking when his alarm went off as usual, Josh turned it off and slowly stretched, trying to clear the cobwebs out of his head. As he opened his eyes, he was confronted by the reality of his situation as the short sleeve of his nightgown came into view. Slowly he remembered the previous day and how he'd caved to his parents' insistence that he was a girl.

Prologue:
Hi, my name is Sasha Anderson. I just turned 12 years old last week. I'm
four foot ten inches tall, and almost 90 pounds. You may have seen photos
of me on the internet. I am a contestant in America's Hottest Teen
Transsexual Pageant, under 13 category. It's an online beauty pageant for
young transgirls. Some nasty people online have accused my mom of setting
me on the path of being a TS porn star and escort. But it's way more
complicated than that. This is a path that I choose for myself. She