Neither Beth nor Carol seemed particularly surprised by my decision to remain as Ally for the next two days that we would be at Waterlooville.

‘I was looking in the window of Primark in the Cascades shopping centre as we passed. They’ve got some great summer dresses and tops in stock which are really good value. ‘Would you like to come with me and take a look at them tomorrow?’ asked Beth.

‘Yes alright,’ I replied. ‘It looks as if Carol will be out for the day and my aunt will be at work, but I will also need to email my Mum and Dad.’

‘Do that first thing and then I’ll call round for you about 11.00. We can take the bus in to Portsmouth.’

‘As you will be going to Primark tomorrow, would you buy me some underclothes whilst you’re there,’ asked Carol. ‘I’ll show you what I want on their website when we get home.’

‘Yes, of course,’ I replied

We eventually arrived back in Waterlooville about 3.00pm and Beth left us to go to her home. Carol and I made our way home to find that Aunt Emma had left us a note asking us to prepare the evening meal from the ingredients in the fridge. We both looked forward to staying in for the night and telling her our news from the voyage.

‘But remember what I said to the others,’ cautioned Carol.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t even mention Richard,’ I said with a smile.

There was however plenty that we could tell to my Aunt, all the same.

‘We’ve had a wonderful time, haven’t we Ally,’ said Carol. ‘We’ve performed lots of new songs and dance routines, have run dance classes for the young teens and it has now been confirmed that we have a great job for the whole summer.’

‘So it would seem,’ she replied. 'Are you still happy with the job, Ally?'

‘Oh yes and I hope you don’t mind if I stay as Ally until we go back; it will be more convenient for me,’ I said.

She looked a little anxious.

‘I have no objection, dear, but your mother might. She contacted me yesterday and asked me to tell you to be sure to be home at midday tomorrow as she wants to have a Skype session with you using my computer.’

‘Why does she want to do that? I’ve been keeping her informed by email at regular intervals,’ I replied with some irritation.

‘Because she’s your mother and cares about you, of course,’ replied Aunt Emma. ‘She wants to see you face to face and make sure that you haven’t been up to anything.’

‘Up to what sort of thing?’ I asked anxiously, worried lest Mum had some suspicions about what had been going on.’

‘Like dressing up as a girl and performing on stage?’ said Carol, giving me a wink.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

‘I don’t think she has any specific worries but just wants to make sure that you're alright after the cruise.’

‘In that case it will have to be Alex again in the morning. I’ll have to explain to Beth.’

‘You could always decide to tell your mother all about Ally,’ suggested my Aunt.

‘No, it had better be Alex; I don’t think I am ready to tell her about Ally … yet.’

‘Very well; but you won’t be able to put it off forever.’

'I know,' I replied with a sigh.

After dinner I sent a text to Beth telling her that I would not be able to come with her to Portsmouth the next day.

I was left alone in the house the following morning as I prepared to become Alex once again. My Aunt had gone to work and my cousin had just left to visit her classmate. It was three weeks since I’d dressed as a boy and I hadn’t realised how much Ally had become an innate part of my being during the intervening period. It felt awkward and disagreeable to retrieve some of Alex’s clothes from the box under the stairs and dress myself in them. Although I’d taken out my hair extensions as usual before going to bed, it now felt odd for me to have short hair during the day and I missed the pleasant feeling of the dangling earrings which I usually now wore when I wasn’t performing. It had also become second nature for me to put on some makeup after washing each morning, but now I felt myself to be exposed without it. I’d taken off my breast enhancers on a number of occasions but had always re-stuck them again soon afterwards so now it felt decidedly odd to be without them and no longer wearing a bra. What was worst of all, though, was my having to lose the lovely long acrylic nails that Beth had helped me to create and which I was now quite used to wearing. I dipped each finger in a bath of acetone for a couple of minutes and then pulled them off. It was a messy job leaving a fair amount of residue which had to be cleaned off. My original short nails underneath looked drier and uglier than usual. There was no way that I was ever going to be able to make them look as good as before.

I telephoned Maria on the ship.

‘Hi Maria, it is me.'

I couldn't bring myself to say Alex and in any event she had never met him.

‘Hi Ally, how are you?’

‘I’m not feeling happy at the moment; I have been forced to dress as a guy today so that I can speak to my mother over the internet.’

‘That is pity – you look good as a girl.’

‘It is nice of you to say so.’

‘I cannot imagine what you look like as a man.’

‘Maybe I could send you a selfie of Alex.’

‘No, don’t do that, I prefer to think of you as my friend Ally.’

‘Maria, remember that you offered to help with my hair extensions tomorrow afternoon. I wonder whether you might be willing to do some nail extensions for me instead?’

'If you can come back to the ship a little earlier perhaps I would have time to do both.’

‘What time do you mean by early?’ I asked.

‘I have nothing arranged for tomorrow. Come as soon as you are able and we will spend the rest of the day making you look beautiful once again, whilst I practice my English.’

‘Thanks Maria, I’ll text you to let you know when I’m going to be back.’

It took me little time to ‘find’ Alex’s voice again after making the call – I’d spent so much time as Ally recently that speaking in her voice had become second nature to me. I was therefore feeling a little crabby and uncomfortable when Beth arrived at the appointed time.

‘Hi Beth, didn’t you get my text message?’ I asked.

It somehow felt wrong to be addressing my friend, using Alex’s voice.

‘Yes I did, but you didn’t explain why you couldn’t come. I tried ringing you this morning but your phone was engaged so I thought I’d call in on my way to the bus stop to see if there was anything wrong.’

‘There’s nothing wrong but, as you can see, I’ve had to revert to Alex mode as my mother has taken it into her head to call me on Skype this lunchtime so I can’t come with you to Portsmouth.’

‘But you will be returning to the ship as Ally, tomorrow,’ asked Beth a little anxiously.

‘Yes, of course.’

‘That’s a relief; I was worried that you might be having second thoughts about the job.’

‘No, I’ve been having a great time as Ally.’

‘That’s what I thought, so I was surprised to receive your message.’

‘Sorry, I should have been clearer, but as you are here, would you be willing to get Carol’s shopping for her this morning?’

‘No problem, show me what she wants.'

As we looked at their website l noticed that there were some really cheap clothes that would suit me.

'Would you mind getting me one or two things as well if they have them in my size?’

She smiled.

‘Am I now talking to Ally or Alex.’

‘Sorry, I meant will you buy them for Ally..’

‘It gets a little complicated to think of you as two different people.’

‘If it were up to me, I would stick with Ally for the summer but I haven't yet found the courage to tell my parents about her.'

'Ok, I understand, show me what you want me to buy for Ally ' she said with a friendly smile.

I pointed out a dark red crop-top and a pair of pink jeans that seemed to be reasonably priced and she agreed to look out for them for me.

‘Would you mind getting me a push-up bra as well. I’ve been using Carol’s one and it is time that I replaced it.’

I walked with her as far as the Precinct and withdrew fifty pounds of my own money from a cash machine and gave it to her. She caught her bus and I returned to the house to await Mum’s call on my Aunt’s computer.

Mum was a little later than planned but her call eventually came through at about 12.30. I still felt a little awkward to be operating as my male self after nearly three weeks living as Ally.

‘Hi Mum!’ I said once the connection was made and her face appeared on the screen.

‘Hi Alex, you don’t look too happy, is everything all right?’

‘Yes, of course it is. I’ve been telling you exactly what I’ve been doing in my emails.’

‘I know; they have been unusually detailed. So you’ve been playing the keyboards on a cruise ship.’

‘That’s right; there are several musicians who accompany a group of girl singers including Carol and her friend.’

‘So I hear from your Aunt, but I understood that you had only been employed for the one voyage.’

‘We were, but we’ve just been told that we’re going to be kept on for the whole summer.

'Congratulations! But please take care and don’t do anything foolish, will you.’

‘Of course I won’t. I’m an adult now.’

‘By the way, what is the name of the liner that you work on?

‘The Fair Maid of Southampton: why do you want to know?’ I asked suspiciously

‘Your father and I were wondering whether we could come over to see you later in the summer.

‘But I’ll be away cruising the Mediterranean for most of the time.

‘Maybe we could get a booking on your liner in a few weeks so we could come and see you perform.’

‘I’m sure that won’t be necessary and it would make me nervous to have you both in the audience.’

‘But we’d like the opportunity to see you perform.’

I thought you didn’t approve of my musical ambitions.’

‘It’s a brand new liner, Mum, I expect it will be fully booked,’ I said.

‘There are normally some last minute cancellations, but at the moment Dad isn’t sure when he will be able to get away for a fortnight.’

She then changed the subject to what was really on her mind.

‘I understand from your Aunt that you’ve been looking at University prospectuses with a view to applying in October.’

‘Why did I have to mention that to my aunt?‘ I thought to myself.

‘I’m making no promises, but I am considering it,’ I replied. ‘This job will only be for the summer.’

‘Remember that the deadline for applications is in October.’

‘That’s only for Oxford and Cambridge. I’ve got until mid-January to decide for most Universities in the UK.’

‘Well I want you to know that Dad and I are right behind you and will support you.’

‘Thanks Mum, but you must understand that I need to decide for myself about my future.’

‘Yes, of course.’

Our conversation moved on to other things – principally about what they’d been doing in Bahrain, but also how I was getting on with my aunt and my cousin until eventually she noticed that we had been talking for nearly an hour.

‘I’ll have to go now Alex, but I’ve enjoyed this chat and maybe we could talk again next week?’

‘I don’t think so Mum, using the internet is both expensive and problematic whilst we are cruising. I can send and receive emails from whenever I get some time to visit an internet café on land but chat sessions are more difficult to arrange.’

What about when you’ve finished your next cruise and you’re back at Waterlooville?’ she asked.

‘That won’t be for three weeks so I can’t be sure, but I promise I’ll keep you regularly informed by email.’

She sighed but did not have enough time to argue the point.

‘Alright then, goodbye for now and take care.’

I logged off with a sigh of relief as Mum had not appeared to have any suspicions about Ally. I felt rather guilty about the number of lies and half-truths that I’d just told, and knew that sometime I would have to tell her what I'd been doing. On the other hand, though, I felt that I needed a little bit of time and space to sort out what I wanted to do with my life. The opportunity to spend time as Ally was the best thing that had ever happened to me and the last thing I wanted was for her and dad to come over and spoil things. It was my life, after all. I took my mind off my anxieties and feelings of guilt by preparing the evening meal for us all.

Beth returned at three o’clock.

‘How did you get on with your mother?’ she asked.

‘Not too bad, I suppose, she doesn't appear to have any suspicions but is talking about them both coming over to the UK later in the summer.’

‘That could be a little awkward for you.’

‘I know but she hasn’t fixed a date yet.’

She handed over two carrier bags, one for Carol and one for me.

‘There was some change from the fifty pounds so I’ve also bought you a couple of pairs of tights as well, as they are expensive to buy on board,’ she said

‘Thanks, I said, putting them down.’

‘Well, aren’t you going to try them on?’

‘Do you think I should?’

‘It’s up to you, of course, but you’ll want to make sure that they look good on you as the only opportunity you will have to take them back will be tomorrow morning.’

‘But I’ll have to revert to being Ally.’

‘So what? Now that you’ve spoken to your Mother there’s nothing to stop you from doing so. It may even cheer you up at little. You don’t seem to be your normal self today.’

‘I suppose I’m going to have to change back to Ally tomorrow, so I may as well do so now.’

‘Do you want me to give you a hand to get changed?’

‘Would you help me to tape on my boobs and clip in the hair extensions, then I’ll try on the various purchases and you can tell me how they look.’

Beth did so and we both agreed that my new purchases looked alright and that I should keep them.

‘I’ll just put on a little makeup as well; I feel undressed without it these days,’ I said, once again switching to Ally’s voice.

She smiled.

‘What are you going to do about your fingernails?’

‘They do look a bit of a mess, but Maria has offered to help me with them and give me some new hair extensions if there is enough time after we arrive back tomorrow before our evening performance.’

Carol arrived back just as I’d finished changing back to Ally, and I now felt more comfortable in the presence of my cousin and my friend. They also seemed to be more at ease with me. We had a brief discussion as Beth handed over Carol’s shopping and we all showed off our purchases.

‘I've bought this for you Carol to replace the one I’ve been borrowing,’ I said, offering her the new bra.

‘No that’s alright Ally, I've plenty of bras, you should keep it for yourself.'
.
‘Did you know that Maria has offered Ally a free makeover in the salon tomorrow?’ Beth asked Carol.

‘No.'

But only if I can get back to the ship at a reasonable time, as the salon is only available for use whilst the passengers are embarking,’ I added. ‘Would you two mind if I left early, tomorrow?'

Carol shrugged.

‘There’s nothing stopping you from going back tonight if you want to,’ she replied.

‘If someone had made that offer to me I’d be knocking on the salon door at nine o’clock in the morning.’

‘Would your mother mind if I went back to the ship a day early?’ I asked.

‘Of course she won't. You could catch a bus to Cosham Station after dinner this evening and get a train to Southampton. You would be back on board within two hours.’

‘I may just do that.’ I replied looking at my nails.

Over dinner I gave Aunt Emma an account of my conversation with Mum.

‘So what are you going to do if they do decide to come over?’

‘I’ll have to face that problem if and when it happens,’ I replied.

‘Hmm,’ was her noncommittal reply.

‘Mum, Ally has been offered a free makeover by her new roommate tomorrow if she can get back to the ship in good time. Would you be able to give her a lift to Cosham after dinner so that she can catch the train?’

Aunt Emma turned towards me.

‘Is that what you want, Ally?’

‘Yes please.’

My aunt studied me for a second or two before replying.

‘Very well, I don’t see why you shouldn’t go back early, if you want to.’

‘Thanks,' I replied blushing as I was unable to disguise that I was pleased about it.

‘You go and get yourself packed ready to leave while I clear up from the meal. Beth and I will see you on board tomorrow evening,’ said Carol with a smile.

Whilst Aunt Emma drove me the four and a half miles to Cosham Station, I sent a quick text message to Maria to expect me back on board later that evening. Her reply came through almost immediately.

‘Good! – We can make start after our breakfast tomorrow – Maria ;-).’

Carol also came along for the ride and they waited with me until the arrival of the Portsmouth to Southampton train.

‘Now take care Ally, and be sure to keep me informed what is happening.’

‘Don’t worry, Aunt Emma, I’ll send you a copy of whatever I send to Mum.’

‘I’m not sure whether that is going to be sufficient to allay all of my concerns about your future, but maybe we will have more chance to talk together next time you come back.’

‘Goodbye Ally. I hope you enjoy the makeover. I’ll see you tomorrow evening, no doubt looking stunning,’ said Carol with a smile.

I blushed once again. Aunt Emma smiled and shook her head at the same time.