Originally posted 2005/02/01

Remember how courteously inefficient all that old correspondence by snail mail used to be? It often seemed as if you would never be able to get anything straightened out by dealing with people who weren't even reading your letters...

Gentlemen;

I ordered the Fit-4-U, perfect fit jeans from your company last month, after having taken all of the measurements you requested and filled out all the forms. I ordered two pair of size 35 waist, 32 length denim pants with the Relaxed Fit, Style 51, in Blue.

What I received instead was two pair of Misses Tall Size 16, Boy-Cut Low Rise jeans, Style 61F in Stone Washed Indigo.

This is not what I ordered. Now the odd thing is, they fit perfectly but I would like to have a return authorization so I can send them back and you can send me what I actually ordered.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Dennis Wyckham

We are so glad to hear that you enjoyed the fit of our Fit-4-U, Perfect Fit Boy-Cut Low Rise jeans, style 61F in Stone Washed Indigo. We guarantee the fit to be perfect and it is gratifying to read an endorsement such as yours of our company's product. Since we may use excepts from your letter in our advertising, we think it is only fair to send you a coupon for a free selection, worth up to $80, from our newest catalog.

Thank you, again, Mr. or Ms. Wyckham and we hope to receive a new order from you soon.

Sincerely,
Leigh Drummond,
Customer Service Representative,
Fit-4-U Coporation

Maybe I didn't make myself clear in the first letter. I need a return authorization to send back the pants you already sent me, they aren't what I ordered. Even though I have never had a pair of pants that fit so well, right out of the package, I must insist that you send me the authorization I need to return the pants to you and get a refund or the merchandise I ordered to begin with. I understand that I will have to pay return postage.

Under seperate cover, I did send in an order for a Size 40R Lined Denim Jacket, style 51J from your catalog, it will look nice with the pants I ordered if I ever get them.

Thank you again for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Denis Wyckham

Thank you. It is quotes from letters like yours that make my job easy. "I have never had a pair of pants that fit so well, right out of the package." Beautiful, we couldn't have paid someone to say that.

As our gift to you, we are sending you a pair of shoes from our new line of Fit-4-U footwear. The Crosstrainer, denim-uppers and space-age resin soles will undoubtedly look perfect with the items you have already received from us. And remember, even for free merchandise like this, we guarantee the fit to be perfect!

Thank you again,
Taylor Meachum
Marketing Director,
Fit-4-U Corporation

This is getting a bit silly. I have still not received a return authorization for the merchandise mentioned in my first letter, nor have I received the pants I actually ordered.

I don't understand it. The jeans you sent me now fit better than anything else in my wardrobe. But the jacket you sent is the wrong one, too. I hate to complain about free merchandise but this is a Misses Large, Lined Denim Jacket in Periwinkle with suede pockets, style 60F which is not exactly the one I ordered. It does fit extremely well, though, like nothing I've ever had on. Except the pants you sent me by mistake. And those pockets look wonderful, what a clever detail. Excellent workmanship.

I'm not sure what to do about the free shoes. I didn't know anyone made high-heeled cross trainers. I haven't tried them on, I don't remember sending you my shoe size and they look a bit small. Not that I would wear high-heel crosstrainers anyway, and the stitching on them is this very feminine shade of, fuschia, I think.

Please send me return authorizations for the pants and the shoes. I think I'll keep the jacket because it really does look so good on me. I love those pockets.

Sincerely,
D. Wyckham

Dear Sir or Madam,

You are rapidly becoming the darling of our marketing department with your glowing letters of praise for our merchandise. I don't know how to thank you enough, Mr. or Ms. Wyckham.

Every one of your letters is just full of unsolicited compliments to our workmanship, design and quality. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I do get the sense though that you are perhaps not quite completely satisfied with our customer service. Because you are one of our favorite customers and we want you to be happy, we are sending you a selection of our wonderful new spring styles and fashions.

As always, we guarantee the fit. And yes, the shoes will fit, too.

Thankfully,
Sean Gilmore
Vice President
Fit-4-U Corporation

Wow! It was like Christmas when I opened your package. Tops and blouses, more slacks and that lovely cardigan, even the color is perfect! I never knew I would look so good in raspberry! It's like magic how it all fits so perfectly.

I'm all giggly over your gifts, and to think, this all happened because I sent you one little letter of complaint, I don't even remember why. Certainly the denim pants fit; so well, I'm always getting compliments on how nice I look. And I used to think my butt was ugly, ha!

It's like you are all dear friends of mine, and oh, yes, the shoes do fit. I may never wear any thing else on my feet! Soooo comfortable, who would believe high heel sneakers would become my favorite pair of shoes?

Golly, what else? Oh, do you carry bras and lingerie?

Your happiest customer,
Deni

Of course we carry bras, corsets, panties, hose, chemises and all sorts of lingerie and some fabulous sexy sleepwear, too! Enclosed is our newest catalog, order whatever size you want to be, we guarantee the fit, as always.

Perfectly yours,

T.W.

President and CEO
Fit-4-U Corporation

A wholly owned subsidiary of Spells-4-U.