Standing Up to Life -1-

Printer-friendly version
forbigclosetopener.jpg
Standing Up to Life: Book 1
 
Part 1 of 6
 
by Tiffany Shar

 
Synopsis

Brandon is a bright boy growing up near Albuquerque, New Mexico. He likes school, soccer, computer games, and playing in the school band. Small for his age and youngest in his class, his size has made him the target of every school bully for years. Each year the verbal and physical abuse increases, finally wearing him down to the point he doesn't know if he can continue. Just as he reaches the end of his rope, he is suddenly befriended by a classmate he least expected. As their friendship grows and deepens, Brandon learns the value of a best friend and finds himself moving down a road he never expected. Over the course of the school year, his friend helps him discover and cope with his feelings, hopes, dreams - and fears.

This is the story of a young person's unusual journey to stand up to the numerous obstacles that life has dealt him - and to become the person he believes himself to be. (Part 1 of 6)


Viewing Note: This story should be viewed with the Edwardian Script ITC font installed on your Windows platform in the c:/Windows/Fonts directory. Microsoft Word installs this font automatically.


 

Available for Purchase as
Download,& Hardback
E-Download $3.00
Hardback $35.95
 
Paperback
Paperback $17.00

 
 

Please visit Tiffany Shar's Bookstore Page

 
The Legal Stuff: Standing Up to Life  © 2008 By Tiffany Shar
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright  © 2008 By Tiffany Shar. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
 
 
Preface
 
 
I began this trilogy of novels last year, first publishing this book at FictionMania and Story Site in March last year. Setting out to tell a story I felt I needed to tell, I was pleased that the readers of both sites seemed to enjoy the work. A couple months after I initially posted this book at FictionMania I met a dear friend Carla Ann who offered her services as an editor. With her help I began to go back and proof this book a few months ago for publishing at Lulu.com. More than anything I liked the idea of having a hardback edition of the book for myself, but I felt that perhaps others might enjoy a copy as well.

With that information in mind I am posting a standard copy of this here at BigCloset, and announcing that I have three versions available for purchasing through My Store (www.lulu.com/tiffanyshar) at Lulu.com. There are 6x9 hardback editions and paperback editions, as well as a high quality pdf version available for download. If you enjoy this work perhaps you will consider supporting me by purchasing it from my store. I hope to have it available through Amazon.com in a couple months as well, and will offer to have Erin sell it through her Amazon page at that time.

Thank you to all of you, my amazing readers, who have enjoyed this work in the past. You will discover that this new version is much more refined than what I initially posted a year ago. I hope you all enjoy this and my other novels. I hope to have the second book, Daring to Hope, also available in this form by mid-March, and the third book will hopefully be available this summer! I will make future announcements about Book Three through my Lulu storefront as well.

I will be posting this in six segments during this week. Please enjoy, and thanks for reading!

     -Tiffany Shar


 
 

Part 1: The Beginning, September 1994

 
 
Chapter 1
 
 
I WALKED UP to the bus stop, hoping maybe today would be better. Maybe today wouldn't be one of the bad days I had so often. For instance the day before… the day before was a terrible day. I had come home crying again. My name is Brandon, and at the time this all began, I was eleven years old. I was just barely old enough to be in the sixth grade. I attended Holden Middle School, where I was everyone's favorite kid to pick on. My town is just about twenty-five minutes away from Albuquerque, NM. Close enough to go in if we want to during the evening, but far enough away to be away from the smog and other city troubles.
 
 
I had hoped when I moved up to the middle school to have a new start - perhaps losing the problems I had before in elementary school, but they'd only compounded and gotten worse. All of this was going through my mind as I walked the block to my bus stop.

As I arrived I watched cautiously to see if there were any plans in action that I needed to be aware of. The bus stop consisted of a dirt lot that had a volleyball court from a neighboring church in it. It's really just the standard dirt lot you see all over the southwest, with plenty of weeds and rocks. It definitely wouldn't have been a destination for me other than it being the bus stop.

I looked down at my watch and saw that I had arrived about five minutes before the bus would arrive. Looking around further I saw Luke had gotten to the bus stop already… not good. As I saw him, he turned around and gave me a narrowing look before heading over my way.

"Well if it isn't little Brandon. I'm surprised you came back to school today after yesterday. I see your arm is starting to turn a nice purple today… Maybe we can make your legs match it!" He said laughing, a couple of his friends came up and started to taunt me together. "You know on a lot of guys your spiked hair means they shouldn't be messed with. But on you it really doesn't do you any good!" Joe, another guy taunted.

The bad part was that Lucas was actually just a lieutenant in the group of guys that gave me trouble. If these guys were already getting on my case it would only get worse. I could tell this was about to get out of hand real fast. Joe started to make a grab for my arm about the time that the bus pulled up - thankfully it was early that day.

"What are you kids doing? Do I need to write you all up?!?" Our bus driver Miss Amy screamed at us. They instantly let me go, but I knew that this story would get to my mom (another bus driver) before I got home. Great… another day of hell all around. So much for today.

As I took my seat my eyes started welling up - I couldn't help it - I'd dealt with this nonstop since I was in first grade. It seemed like, no matter what, there was always another bully to make it their personal mission to torment me. I didn't do a very good job of dealing with it either, so it just kept happening.
 
 
It didn't help that I wasn't big enough to come off as a threat to anyone. At four-feet-two-inches, and seventy-five pounds, I was the smallest boy in my class. There was one girl, Nikki, who was shorter than me, and kept me from having the honor of being the shortest in the entire class of a-hundred-and-eighty kids. I was also a year younger than a lot of the kids since my birthday had just fallen inside the deadline for my grade level. My parents had wanted to keep me from entering kindergarten that year, but the preschool I was at insisted that mentally I was ready. They were right on that part - I was one of the smartest kids at the school - but emotionally I was a baby in comparison. Something the kids always enjoyed reminding me.

By the time the bus pulled up to the school I had regained some control of my eyes and wiped them dry. I got off the bus and took my instrument into the band room storage closet. Then I waited outside the main door to go in for the day. I could feel the stares of the other kids burning in my backside. I was scanning around the waiting area for anyone that might give me trouble. That's when I noticed Matt had joined up with the group of guys that had been with Lucas. Matt was the leader that I spoke of earlier.

He had brought his own group with him to make a formidable gang of kids. As far as I could tell their entire goal in life was to see how miserable they could make other people. I was easily on the top of their list of targets.

I could hear Lucas snickering to Matt how he had caused me to cry already that day. They were more than ten feet away, but I could hear them very clearly. I had developed very good hearing as a result of my torment - it was a defense mechanism. I'd learned early on that being able to tell when someone was going to bother me was the best way for me to avoid trouble. I saw them point at me just as the bell rang and I tried to hurry to my locker before anything else happened.

As I got to my locker I opened it quickly and grabbed my books, putting them into my backpack as quickly as I could. I closed my locker just in time to turn around and stare at Matt and Lucas right behind me.

"So I hear Baby Brandon made another appearance this morning. Maybe baby needs to go back to day care instead of Middle School?" Matt sneered at me. As he did so he grabbed my arm and shoved me into my locker. I landed on my good arm, that hadn't been bruised, right on top of one of the locker dials. I was instantly in tons of pain, and I knew that I had a new bruise to match my other one.

I did my best to try not to cry - I knew that was what he wanted, but then he punched me in the stomach as he walked away from me. I was crying as I walked up the stairs to my first class. As I walked in Mr. Krantz, my teacher saw me.

Mr. Krantz asked, "Brandon why don't you go to the bathroom and wash your face?"

I nodded, "Thanks," and sniffled at the same time as I headed for the bathroom. I managed to regain control and went back to class… This was not going to be a good day.

When I went back to class and sat down I relaxed a little. At least I was in a sanctuary of the classroom now. This class was biology - my favorite academic subject of the day. Mr. Krantz was by far the hardest teacher I had ever had though. A point that was going to be made clear today.

"Morning everyone, I want to give you a chance to see what your grade is going to be when it comes out on your report cards Friday. I'll call you up one at a time to show you."

I sat there waiting as he went through the names until he got to the J's. "Brandon, you're next." As I looked down at his paper I almost fainted… A C?!?!?!?!?!?
 
 
"Is that a mistake Mr. Krantz?"

"No Brandon, it looks like your vocab notes are what knocked your grade down. Make sure you write neatly next nine weeks so we can get that grade up."

To say I was miffed would be to put it mildly. I could clearly see I wasn't the only one, and I was sure that nobody was getting an A in his class if I wasn't. I had been a mostly A student since second grade… A C did not sit well with me.

"Psst… Brandon." The girl next to me, Amy, said. "What did you get?"

"A stupid C..." I said as quietly as I could through my anger, trying not to lose it again. Thankfully I was too shocked to cry. "What did you get?"

"A B-, I had an eighty percent exactly. Laura got an eighty-eight over there. She's got the highest grade I've heard of so far." We were going to keep talking but Mr. Krantz gave us the teacher glare, so we both shut up.
 
 
A couple minutes later Mr. Krantz stood up at the front of the class and started talking. "Many of you are no doubt shocked at your grade, indeed some of you I was worried that you might faint." The jerk smiled as he said that… "In my class I take very literally the meaning of the names of the grades. An F is Failing - I handed out five of those in this class. He started graphing the numbers. A D is nearly failing, I handed out seven of those to this class. A C is average, I handed out thirteen of those in this class. A B is above average, I handed out two of those in this class. And finally an A is excellent and superior. I did not have any A's in this class, this nine weeks."

He continued to speak for ten minutes on this topic before we moved on. I had a seventy-nine percent, one stinking point away from being a B. It was clear I was going to have to work a lot harder to get an A in this class. At least I found out I had the highest grade of any of the boys.

I went downstairs from Biology over to my social studies class. Amazingly I managed to make it without incident. Maybe today could improve? Mr. Randolph was my social studies teacher, and he smiled and said hi as each of us walked in. He was a different kind of teacher… in most ways he was actually probably a terrible teacher… but at least as class went on today I found out I had an A+ in his class. Of course it seemed like the only thing we did in his class was watch America's Funniest Home Videos…

When I finished that hour though, I was off to my favorite class - Band. I had just started playing saxophone this year and I was really pumped about it! Mrs. Remar was also good about keeping control of the bullies in my class - something I greatly appreciated. Especially since Matt also played saxophone. I was first chair though, which meant that I had some space between him and myself.

I sat down and we began playing a number out of the book. "Saxophones you're playing too loud!" Mrs. Remar seemed to love saying that… That period went well. I was excited about playing and having a good time in that class. I found out from Mrs. Remar that I was receiving an A+ in band, and also got to see her chew Matt out for doing something stupid… I definitely felt like the day was turning around.

I put my saxophone up quickly and took the shortcut from band to the choir room through her office. Having two electives as a sixth grader was definitely nice.

I WALKED into the choir room and sat down on the front riser where I stood due to my short size. Mrs. Schultz greeted me as I came in. She was the one person in this school for whom I believe more students picked on than me… As a new teacher she was making just about every mistake in the book of mistakes, and making up some new ones. Even I would place bets on the possibility of her running to her office crying some days.

"Brandon, here, this a new piece we're going to sing. Go ahead and put it in your folder." She handed me a piece of music as she said that.

"Thanks Mrs. Schultz." I looked at the piece, it was called, All The Pretty Little Horses… 'Yeah that was a real manly song to sing,' I thought to myself. I was sure the other guys were going to have a field day with this piece. Oh well. I looked at it and thought it sounded like it was going to be a pretty piece.

Everyone joined me on the risers as they came in. Mrs. Schultz was in her office grabbing something when one of the boys next to me started snickering from some joke that a guy named Pete had told. I was really hoping that it didn't have anything to do with me. In the meantime another girl, Ashley, tapped me on my shoulder to get my attention.

"Brandon can I touch your hair?" I had my hair in the spiked hair style that was quickly fading from coolness, but was still unique. I wanted to say no - I didn't like people messing with it, but it was pretty much stuck up there so I said, "I guess."

"This feels so cool, I was expecting it to be hard and pointy, but it's actually really soft. Amy feel this!" Ashley said.

"Ooh, this isn't what I expected either, Brandon what do you do to make it stick up?" Amy asked.

"Well you know, I just stick my finger in the light socket everyday and it just does this. Hurts a bit for a second, but it saves tons of time!" I said jokingly.

Amy and Ashley chuckled a bit. Amy said, "You know Brandon you can be funny sometimes, I wish more people gave you the chance to do so." She said sweetly making my face turn red.

"You're also the only guy I know that can blush like that!" She said making me really embarrassed. I didn't know what to think about this. I wasn't used to her paying any attention to me. I wasn't exactly in her social circle. Well… at the moment I wasn't really in any social circle!

"So really, what do you do?" She asked again.

"I just take a comb and some water and run it through it backwards. Then I spray some hairspray on. I used to have to put gel in it, but it does it on its own anymore." I replied.

"Cool," She responded.

Soon about four of the girls were enjoying the fact that my hair stuck straight up but wasn't stiff. I'd been spiking it for about four years at that point, so it really did do it on its own. It was getting a little long now for it though (about an inch and a half long,) and I was going need to cut it if I wanted
it to keep from having to gel it.

In the meantime one of the boys that had been laughing leaned over and told Jordan (another girl to my right) something to which she looked at me and started laughing… Yep whatever it was it had to do with me.

Soon Pete couldn't contain his humor anymore. "Brandon, have you seen the movie, The Christmas Story?"

"Umm… no?" I replied cautiously. Whatever this was it wouldn't be good.

"Because other than your hair you look just like Ralphy," he said in a manner that wasn't nice.

Another boy, Robert, asked me, "so do you have a BB gun?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" I asked. I hadn't seen the movie before so I had no idea what was coming.

"Because you'll shoot your eye out!" He said. He and his friends laughed really hard. So did the rest of the class unfortunately.

Thankfully that was the moment that Mrs. Schultz decided to try teaching the class. She was a much better target than me. "Okay, up until now we've been singing songs with just one part this year. The new piece I handed out has three parts, and I want to go ahead and split everyone up into their proper parts. For now I want all of the boys on my right side and all of the girls on my left side."

It was an amazing thing actually, we had about ten boys in our choir class in addition to the twenty girls. You don't see that in a lot of choir programs. I moved over to the right side and we started working on the piece. About five minutes later she was working with the boys on their part, when she heard me having trouble getting down low enough.

"Brandon, would you try singing this instead?" She had me singing the soprano part though I didn't know it yet.

"Okay," I said. I was very proud of how high I could sing. Looking back at it now I wished I had joined a boys or even a children's chorus. I loved singing and know that I would have had a great time being in one of those groups. I had no problems reaching those pitches at all.

"Okay Brandon, would you move over next to Amy there?" I was petrified now… oh no… this skill backfired big-time! Now I was going to get more crap from the kids about this. So much for things getting better this morning… As I walked over to stand by Amy, I was glad that she at least smiled at me. On the far side of the choir the other guys snickered. This couldn't get any worse I thought.

Mrs. Schultz spoke up, "Now class Brandon has a lovely voice that at certain times in history would have meant he would have been treated like royalty. Boys that could sing high were accorded a very high place in the choirs that were in the kings courts…" I tuned it out, I was wrong, it could get worse. After three minutes of terribly screwing things up more for me, we started singing again.

As class ended I left as quickly as I could, not looking or speaking to Mrs. Schultz as I left for lunch.
 
 
WHEN I GOT into the lunch line I heard snickering behind me. I turned around to see it was Pete talking to Matt. Great.

"Brandon, just ignore them, they're just jealous." Amy said as she appeared next to me.

"That's easier said than done," I said trying to keep control of my voice. Couldn't anything go right in my life?

"Personally I really like your voice. I think you can actually sing higher than I can." Amy said trying to cheer me up. I was kind of bewildered. It wasn't like we'd never talked before, but at the same time for her to talk to me in public was new and unexpected.

"Thanks Amy, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

We didn't say anything else as the line wound through the lunchroom. I actually was feeling a little better about myself, one of the hottest girls in my grade at school was talking to me. I got my wonderfully healthy meal of French Fries and went to have a seat by myself at a table as far away from Matt's thugs as I could.

I had one fry to go when Matt and Lucas came up to me. "Hey Ralphy, don't shoot your eye out!"

A kid nearby asked, "Why are you calling Brandon, Ralphy?"

"Because he looks like Ralphy from The Christmas Story," Matt said as loudly as he thought he could get away with without being yelled at. "And he cries just as much too!" He said while grabbing my last fry and pushing me off of my seat.

"Matt!" A teacher said from across the room. "Come Here!"
 
 
I was beside myself and went from the cafeteria to the bathroom crying. I couldn't believe it, not only did I have a bad nickname I didn't want, but it was going to spread through the school like wildfire now! Not to mention Matt was going to blame his getting in trouble on me. I stayed in there for a couple minutes before one of the PE Coaches came to check on me.

"Brandon, are you alright, Bud?" Coach U asked.

"Yeah, I guess." I replied shakily.

"You've got to stop giving him what he wants. Anytime he can get a reaction out of you he's feeding off of it. If you can even at least keep from crying immediately after it you'll make some progress. Or, and I'm not saying this, stand up to him and push him back."

"He's twice my size though…" I said.

"Yes he is, and he may very well use that against you, but even just standing up to him will cause him to realize there are easier targets. Just think about it, Brandon, I need you to go ahead and move on though, you can't stay in here. Matt will be out of your hair today and tomorrow - I can promise you that."

"Thanks Coach." I said as I left. I decided to go by the snack bar real quick to get a coke and a Reese's.

From there I went outside and found a spot on a low, decorative, stucco wall and tried to stay out of sight. I somehow succeeded until the bell rang and I went inside for PE. I went in and changed as quickly as I could - but not quite quickly enough.

"Hey Brandon, the girls locker room is on the other side of the gym," an eighth grader named Bryce said.

"Ha-ha you're very funny." I replied.

"I know I am, kind of like that face of yours," he said as I tried to get past him and go into the gym.

"Actually I understand I'm supposed to call you Ralphy now, I sure hope you don't shoot your eye out with that BB gun of yours." He said as he finally let me walk by. As I walked by he tried to trip me, but thankfully that was one thing I was good at recovering from. I stumbled for a step but kept on going. I made it to the safety of my line and we began warming up.

Mrs. Bradley, our fifty-eight year old PE teacher, got up to the front of the class and said, "Okay class today we're going to run the mile. Everyone will do four laps around the track and I'll time you." I groaned, I played soccer and could run for short distances at a time very well, but I was terrible at the mile.

We walked out the door and another kid tried tripping me. I again managed to avoid falling. After we all lined up at the starting line she yelled, "Go!" I ran as well as I could, but I was much slower than any of the other boys. I managed to run it in nine minutes and twenty seconds. That was by far the fastest time I had ever run the mile.

By the time I was done I was exhausted and sat down on grass next to the track to rest. Amazingly I wasn't the last person. That honor fell to the kids that
didn't care and practically walked the whole way. A couple minutes later Nikki came and sat down next to me. She was the girl I mentioned earlier that was smaller than me. She was just shy of four feet tall, and was usually pretty nice to me.

"So Brandon are you going to go?" She asked in and excited manner.

"What are you talking about Nikki?" I asked.

"Haven't you had English yet?" She asked. I shook my head. "Well you'll find out more when you have English, but they're offering that trip to Florida this summer through the school. Ms. Fitzgerald came up from the elementary school today to talk to all of the sixth graders that came from Maple Elementary. They'll call you out of class to talk to you. Since it was unexpected for us to go to the middle school instead of being at the elementary school again they decided to go ahead and offer the trip to us so we don't miss out."

So for those of you that are a little confused, our elementary school offered a trip every year to sixth graders to Florida. It was a really cool trip, and we all had hoped to be able to go. You had to pay/fundraise your own way to go though, so not a lot of people went. In April, our school board in all its wisdom, suddenly voted to expand the middle school to include sixth through eighth graders this year. All of the sudden we found ourselves in a new school a year earlier than we expected. That's a whole other fun subject, but one of the reasons we were all mad about it was this trip.

"So are you going?" I asked.

"I'm hoping to, I'll talk to my parents tonight about it. I'll tell you tomorrow what they say, okay?" She said.

"Yeah, that would be so cool." I now had a reason to look forward to going to sixth hour!

I had been to Disneyland in California that previous summer for the first time and it had been really cool. The previous summer had actually marked a huge change for my family. My dad had worked at his company for ten years now, and they got bought out by a larger company. In doing so he had to cash out his entire pension.

That had enabled us to move out of the trailer I had grown up in, and into a real house. My parents had also surprised me in July with a trip to Disneyland. I had grown up in New Mexico, and had never previously been outside of the Four Corners States. My parents weren't rich though, so I didn't know whether or not we could afford this. Still… maybe, just maybe!

I talked with her for a few more minutes. It was kind of funny because the two of us were like a couple days apart in age (she was older) - between that and our height I had always been friends with her. We talked about how we were excited about how band was going so far. (She played flute) Class wrapped up pretty
soon after that and I went into the locker room to change.

After a four minute hell session where, I discovered that Ralphy was definitely going to stick, I managed to get out of there without any more physical violence against me.
 
 
I HURRIED ON to my English class, going down the one hallway that connected that wing to the main school, and down another to get to the oldest wing of the school and up the staircase. This led to the room of Mr. Tamera, probably the worst English teacher of all time. To get you to shut up he'd say, 'shut the mouth.' The more I think about it I had a lot of bad teachers that year!

I sat down in my chair, and after he called roll he called those of us from Maple Elementary to go down the hall to an empty classroom where Ms. Fitzgerald was waiting.

"Hi Ms. Fitz!" I said as I walked up and gave her a hug. She had been one of the few teachers who had really tried - and somewhat succeeded - to keep my life from being as rough. I hadn't even been in her class last year and she had still helped as much as she could. She had taught sixth grade at Maple Elementary, but chose to stay there instead of moving up to the middle school this year with most of the other teachers.

Right behind me Amy greeted her just as enthusiastically - as did most of the other kids. There were about eight students present for the meeting. I saw they had not invited some of the students, like Matt and Lucas, who were from that school too. I knew they had English this hour and should have been here for this. I wasn't going to complain though.

"How are you all doing?" She asked. "You've all grown a bunch since I saw you all last year. Well I'm guessing most of you have heard about why I'm here to talk to you, but just in case here it is!" She said enthusiastically, but not condescendingly, as only a good teacher can.

"We've received permission to offer the Florida Experience trip to you guys even though you're not at the elementary anymore. We decided to only offer it to students that passed all of their classes last year and were from Maple Elementary. The district approved that and we're going to do it that way!" She smiled as she said that.

"I won't keep you long, but basically if you go you'll go for six days and five nights to Orlando, Fl. We'll go to Disney World, Kennedy Space Center, Universal Studios, and the beach among other things. Your parents are welcome to come along if they want to. We're willing to help you organize some fundraisers, but you do have to pay for it on your own. Do any of you think your parents might be interested?"

Amy, Kyle, and I raised our bands. The other kids shook their heads, I don't think their parents had a chance of affording it, and they unfortunately already knew the response they would get if they asked. I didn't honestly think my parents could either, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask. I looked at the stuff that they gave me. It was only seven-hundred dollars to go on the trip! That was cheap and I knew it.

As we left Amy spoke to me briefly, "Brandon that would be so exciting if we could all go together. And, it looks like we won't have any of those jerks with us either!"

"Yes that would be nice wouldn't it?" I replied as we went separate ways. My thoughts had paralleled hers. There was a meeting next week for anyone interested. I only hoped I could get my parents to go to it!

I got back to class getting plenty of stares of "why did he get to go?" But I couldn't answer even if they asked, Mr. Tamera was droning on about some stupid tense thing. I understood it within one minute of his twenty-six minute lecture we had to endure. I got the feeling he had droned on fourteen minutes before that too! All in his broken English. Shouldn't an English teacher be able to speak English?!?

I left that class still on a high from my hopes of possibly going on the trip. I got to Math and did my homework quickly while he talked on. I had my homework done and when I looked at my watch I saw that I still had thirty minutes of class to go. I checked the odd answers with the ones in the back of the book and fixed the two I had wrong before looking again to see that I still had another twenty five minutes. One of my other nemeses was sitting behind me and started giving me crap.

"Jeff, leave me alone okay?" I said. He was a jerk, and a wannabe cool kid. While he was a rung higher on the ladder than I was, he wasn't much higher. The main reason he wasn't much higher was because he was a big fat oaf to… to put it nicely…

"Why? Ralphy, what are you going to do about it? Cry? You're just a wimp!"

"Just knock it off!"

"And what if I don't?" He asked. I'd had enough today, he was going to get it.

I stood up and reached down and grabbed the hair on the top his head and yanked as hard as I could.

"OWWWW!!! Stop that!" He cried. The other kids nearby were watching and all amazed that I was actually successfully taking on one of my antagonists.

"Not before you promise me you'll stop picking on me!" I suggested to him.

"Alright, I'll stop!" He fairly cried.

I turned around in my desk expecting to be getting sent to the office by my teacher, but Mr. Martin just turned around at that moment and looked at me. He gave me a wink and turned his attention to something on his desk. I couldn't believe it. I actually accomplished something and got away with it! That never happened to me.

Once the bell rang I grabbed my saxophone from the band room and ran to the bus as quickly as I could. When I got on the bus I heard kids talking about my 'fight' with Jeff. It certainly seemed to have earned me a bit of respect. I still got called Ralphy as I got on the bus though, so I knew it wasn't enough
to get away from the new nickname. But progress is progress right?

I shouldn't have thought I got away so cleanly for the day though. As I was getting off the bus I saw Matt was behind me. How did he get on my bus? He doesn't even ride this bus I thought!

I tried to hurry across the street and get down the block to my house but he caught me just after crossing the street. "Hey Brandon hold up! I still owe you for what you did to me earlier!" He said while he grabbed at my backpack.

I couldn't go anywhere at that point so I turned around. "What did I do to you?!? If I remember correctly you were the one picking on me!"

"Ooh we're talking back now that we fought like a girl to beat up Jeff, huh?" He said pushing me backwards. I stumbled but managed to stay on my feet. I was frantically trying to think of a way to get away from him.

"No, I'm just sick of your shit is all." I replied. I slowly walked backward to a yard that had some rocks in it.

"Ooh you think you're all big now cussing at me? Well let's get this over with runt. Because of you I was in ISS today, and I'll be there tomorrow and Monday!" And with that he started to rush towards me. I decided I had only one chance, to use his movement against him.

If I could trip him he would fall the opposite direction from my house. The time he spent on the ground might give me enough of a head start to make it home… Everything slowed down, and I did a move that I used a lot in soccer to fake out my opponents. I leaned in the opposite direction than I was going and he fell for it. I then stuck out my leg and he bowled over tumbling head over heels two times.

Of course, I didn't see that part because I was already running as fast as I could for home. I got my key out of my pocket in the hope I could make it there, unlock the door, and lock it before he got there. I needn't have worried that much because when I got to my door I saw he was nowhere near me. That kind of puzzled me for a moment; I figured he would be right on my heels. Still I decided not to chance it and locked the door quickly behind me.

I collapsed, crying on my bed, why did every day of my life have to be a living nightmare?
 
 
Chapter 2
 
 
I WOKE UP to see my mom standing in the doorway. She could clearly tell that I had been crying again. I was sure that she had heard about what had happened that morning by the look of concern on her face. She saw that I was waking up, so she came over to my bed and gave me a hug.

"Sweetie, what happened?" Part of me hated it when she called me that, but part of me liked it for some reason.

I related to her all of the bullying crap that had happened to me that day. When I told her about what happened with Matt after school. She immediately got on the phone and called her boss to find out why that kid had been allowed on my bus - he said he would look into it. After a quick and silent dinner, I put on my clothes for soccer practice.

Soccer was the only sport I really liked to play. In all honesty it was the only one I had even a modest amount of skill in. I couldn't catch or throw to save my life, so the other normal sports of baseball and football were definitely out. On my soccer team I was a defensive sweeper. Even though I was so small, most of the time I managed to get the ball away from my opponent's team, and pass it to the offensive players on my team. Our team goal for that year was to make it into the city championships.

The team was coed, and I said, 'hi,' to all of my friends as I got there. The nice thing about my soccer team was that they were all the same age as me, meaning that I was the only one in the sixth grade; the rest were in fifth grade. I'd been playing with the same teammates for four years now, and we all pretty much got along. We benefited from having an awesome coach that understood that sports should be fun. Yes hard work was involved, but there was the human aspect to it that so many coaches didn't have. He understood that we were just kids.

We went through a lot of drills that night using cones and having other people try and get past with the balls, as well as some goal shooting against our goalie. Practice ended with a short scrimmage, our team divided into two. By the time practice ended I was thoroughly exhausted. I came home and sat down at the kitchen table with a bottle of Gatorade. My parents sat on either side of me while the TV was on in the background.

"Ooh I almost forgot!" I exclaimed and ran to get my backpack and pulled out the brochure and letter about the trip.

"Ms. Fitzgerald came up from the elementary school to give this to us today!" I showed my mom and dad the packet that Ms. Fitz had given us that afternoon. "I'd get to go to Florida and see Kennedy Space Center! They even take us to Space Camp!" I said excitedly. It had been a dream of mine to go to Space Camp ever since I watched the movie by the same title.

My dad looked at it and said, "I don't know, it's not cheap."

My mom looked at him and said, "Well I don't know that he would ever have this chance again though. This is really a once in a lifetime chance to do all of this."

My dad looked at us and said, "Okay we can look into it, I'm not saying yes until I can spend some time thinking about it first."

I hugged him and sat back down; knowing to push it any further at this point would be a good way to get a no. "So what's this I hear about you fighting today?" My dad asked.

"Umm… it wasn't really fighting…" I continued to relate the events of the day, though not as thoroughly as with Mom. I didn't talk to him as much about stuff. In all honesty he was at his job's beck and call twenty-four hours a day most of the time, which meant I didn't see him nearly enough.

After I finished relating the story he looked at me and said, "Maybe I should find this Matt kid and teach him some manners." Flexing his muscles…

I had little doubt that he would think about doing that, but Mom and I said, "That's a bad idea, then you would just get in trouble."

"Well, let me know if you have any more trouble with him and we'll deal with it." Just at that moment the phone rang and Mom picked it up.

"Brandon it's for you!" Covering the microphone she whispered to me, "It's a girl!"

I blushed and took it in the other room away from prying ears. Who would be calling me?

"Hello?"

"Hey Brandon? This is Amy." Amy was calling me? My heart just about stopped.

"Hi," I somehow kept from stammering.

"Hey I heard something and wanted to make sure you were okay. Someone said that Matt got on your bus and tried to jump you today. Are you okay?" She asked, very concerned.

"Yeah, I managed to trip him and get away, then I ran home as quickly as I could." I paused for a second before asking, "How did you hear about it?"

"Well, Halley called Lindsey, and Lindsey called me, and told me that Matt tried to beat you up after school, but he was the one that got beat up."

"HUH??" I asked.

"Apparently when you tripped him he went head over heels and hit his face against the concrete. The rumor going around is that he broke his nose!" She said giggling.

"No way… Great, now he'll really be after me." I said.

"Actually, I have a feeling you'll be alright for a while, apparently the police came by just before you ran off and saw him attempt to attack you. They were the ones that took him to the Emergency Room."

"I can't believe that they didn't come down and talk to me." I said.

"Well Halley's dad, he's a cop, said that they're going to come by the school tomorrow and talk to you to see if you want to press charges. They watched the whole thing go down, seeing him clearly attack you. This could mean we could finally be rid of him!" She said.

"Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm still scared he's going to try and get even. So this is all over school already?" I asked.

"Yeah, the fact that you 'beat up' Jeff and Matt in the same day is making waves around the phones today."

I smiled, "Well neither is true, but maybe people will back off for a while." I paused and then decided to see if she would talk about anything else, "So what are you up to besides checking on me?"

We struck up a conversation and talked for fifteen minutes before her mom started nagging her to get off the phone. "Brandon I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Okay, talk to you later!" I hung up the phone, happier than I had been in years. I told Mom and dad about what I heard and they both decided that meeting the principals tomorrow would be a good idea. I went to bed dreaming that maybe the next day would be better.
 
 
THAT NEXT DAY was Friday, so much for TGIF? When I got to school kids were whispering behind my back like I was some sort of alien that inhabited Brandon's body.

From the time I arrived through my first hour class, nothing happened. No one called me names, shoved me in the hallway, or picked on me at all. During second period I got called to come down to the office. I found my parents waiting in the chairs there. We went in together to talk to the Principal, Mrs. Hinther. During our meeting my dad made clear, in no uncertain terms, that Matt was to be nowhere near me ever again in this school. He added that if this stuff didn't stop they would be hiring an attorney to sue the district for not doing its' job of protecting students.

My parents both ranted at her for a long while. She seemed to turn white as a ghost at times with my parents' discussion of legal action. During our meeting she also asked me a series of questions trying to find out exactly what had happened. She seemed to be carefully wording them so as not to upset my parents anymore than they already were. After all of this she assured my parents that though she could not talk about another student's disciplinary action, she would make sure we didn't come in contact at all. She switched his schedule completely around, dropping him from band as well as a couple other classes I had with him.

At that point in the meeting she called the school resource officer in and he took a statement from me. My parents also filled out the forms to file charges against him. He said it should be a pretty clear cut case since the officers' had filed their own reports of what they had observed. The officers' statements lined up with my statement perfectly.

We finished up during third hour, and I returned to choir right after the meeting let out. Before I left to go to class though Mom let me know that she had found out from the bus yard boss that Matt would not be allowed on the buses for the remainder of the school year. Mom also let my driver have a piece of her mind that morning… Crossing an only child's parents is tantamount to messing with a grizzly bear with cubs!

When I got to choir I stood by Amy who asked what had happened. I told her everything in a low whisper before class started.

About the time I finished telling Amy what happened, Pete asked, "So is it true Brandon? Did you really beat up Matt?"

"Well, I tripped him and he went flying if that's what you mean?" The kids were all very impressed with this. But I knew it wasn't going to solve my problems. I knew for a fact that Lucas was already talking a lot of threats towards me to retaliate. Matt had been removed from school pending expulsion hearings, and because of that Lucas had become the leader by natural selection. Still…

Mrs. Schultz interrupted our conversation and said, "Okay we need to get started."

We sang and worked on a piece for about ten minutes before she got mad about something and stormed into her office crying.

I whispered to Amy, "I feel bad for her, but I have to say I'm glad to see there's one other person at this school that gets picked on more than I do!" She snickered. We both agreed she was a terrible teacher. That was something we'd talked about the night before.

Amy and I talked to each other back and forth for the rest of the period before the bell rang and we went to lunch. Lucas came up to the line behind us and asked, "Amy why are you hanging out with this loser?"

"I don't know which loser you're referring to. The only one I see at the moment is you." She replied nonchalantly.

He started to open his mouth to reply but stopped as a teacher came over and said, "Lucas I don't believe you were in that spot there… Why don't you go back to the end?"

Lucas tried arguing with the teacher but gave way eventually. I got my food and went to the table farthest away from anyone again. As I set my food down though, I saw Amy coming towards me, along with some of her friends. "Brandon may we sit with you?"

"Sure." I said… I wasn't really sure what to do. This was strange. We sat and talked all through lunch - eventually moving outside and sitting together on the grass. I decided to go get something to drink from the snack bar and started walking back inside. On my way in there I ran into Matt's girlfriend, Liza.

"Brandon why are you sticking your chest out like that? What? Are you trying to look like a girl? I guess that makes sense, that's how you fight, cry, and act."

I was dumbstruck, my day had been going so well. I managed to get inside to the bathroom before breaking down for a few minutes. I came out and found Amy waiting by the door.

"Brandon, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just tired of getting crap all the time. I was hoping it would get better today. I guess I should have known better." I said while looking down at my feet.

"Brandon, look, you're an awesome guy, and I'm really proud to have you as my friend. Can you trust me on something?"

I thought for a second then nodded, "I guess."

"You are so much cooler than they are that it's sickening. You're also the sweetest guy I know. You've put up with so much crap, and I'm sorry it keeps happening. But know that I'll be here for you okay?"

"Thanks," I said meekly.

"Now I'm guessing you want to get that drink before the snack bar closes?" She asked.

"Sure," I said and then got into line. Once we had gotten my drink she walked back outside with me. From that point forward in the year it was an odd time to see one of us without the other at lunch.

I was fortunate enough to somehow make it through the rest of the day without anything else happening. Lucas didn't even ride the bus for some reason that day! That meant I didn't have to worry about anything that day at the bus stop. What a week!
 
 
WHEN I got home I went inside and sat down in front of the computer. I got on the internet and just started looking around. I saw there was a really cool new video game coming out next month, and I knew I would have to ask for it for Christmas. I got bored and decided to go and play with some toys. Yes I know I was in sixth grade, but really who doesn't still want to play with Legos!?

I sat down building something or another and thought about what had happened that day. Liza's words were still ringing in my ears for some reason. I kept running her exclamation through my brain again and again, "Brandon why are you sticking your chest out like that? What? Are you trying to look like a girl?"

I had read a Star Wars book a couple weeks before that the author had written something like, "if someone calls you a Hutt once, ignore them. If someone calls you a Hutt twice start to wonder, and if someone calls you a Hutt a third time, buy a drool bucket and start stockpiling spice."

Her comment was making me wonder. I had been getting called a girl so often, and now that statement… To be honest I had for many years fantasized about being a little kid again. Even all the way back to being a baby again, because those were the last times I remembered really being happy. I'd been picked on for so long - I was tired of it! Perhaps if I'd been a girl…?

Really… perhaps if I'd been born a girl, life would have been better. I got it into my head that girls aren't constantly beating up each other; they're not constantly picking on one girl. I got up from my toys and went to the bathroom. As I stood washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror. I stared for several minutes.

What would I look like if I was a girl? I looked at my body and noted that I was small enough that if I had longer hair maybe I could get away with looking like one. Nah it was no use… Even though I was probably the most clueless person on sex, I still knew that my parts didn't look like a girls'…

I kept thinking about it. Hair might be the key to me looking more like a girl. About that time I heard Mom come in and she asked me how my day went. I told her everything but Liza's comment. I wanted to think about her statement without having any one getting in the way of my thinking. I didn't have soccer practice that night, so we rented some movies.

She had rented some 'chick flick,' and I rented a kids movie. I grumbled at watching the sappy movie, but honestly I enjoyed it more… That disturbed me slightly and added to my uneasiness.

When the movie was over Mom announced that it was time to take my bath, since I had a soccer game tomorrow. I sat down in the bath and thought more about the idea of being a girl instead of a boy. On one hand I thought kids would probably make fun of me a lot for trying to be a girl… but really how much more could I get picked on?

Mom and dad were already talking about taking me out of school and home schooling me or something. If it wasn't for band I was sure they would have pulled me out this week. I had already thought about using that argument to get them to buy me a clarinet. At the beginning of the summer I had really wanted to play either flute or clarinet - I had done really well on both of them when I had tried them at the music store. But they had bought me the saxophone hoping that kids would have one less reason to make fun of me.

It honestly didn't matter, as they said 'Damned if you do, damned if you don't.' It was a fact of life, though I did see some light at the end of the tunnel. If people recognized that I wasn't quite helpless after having 'beat up' two guys in one day, maybe I could enjoy some peace. I tossed and turned most of the night, not sleeping real well that night. During the course of that night I dreamed of how great it would be to have long hair like a girl. Even if I couldn't -be- a girl, maybe I could kind of look like one?
 
 
Chapter 3
 
 
THE MORNING came too soon. Mom pretty much had to drag me out of bed and to the sink to brush my teeth. I ate breakfast quickly and then got dressed to go to the soccer game. We got down to the field early and I warmed up with my teammates. Before I knew it we had started the game. I was playing sweeper on our side of the field.

The game went fast and furious, with me getting the ball off our side of the field more often than not. At one point a player ran down the field with the ball and I kicked it hard. The player went one direction (towards the ground,) and the ball went flying to my friend, Brittany, and she went the rest of the way for a goal. The coach gave me a huge pat on the back for that one. Brittany was one of the two girls that were on the team. The other girl's name was Sarah. I had grown up as friends with Brittany since she went to the same church as we did at the time.

I thought to myself, 'I could be the third girl on the team!' That thought only distracted me for a few moments though, as the ball was soon heading back and forth across the field some more. The game ended with us up over the other team seven to one. Following the game we all went out for ice cream to celebrate.
 
 
Mom had come to the game, but dad hadn't… big surprise. He did some work for a friend's company on the side occasionally, and they had called him wanting help again that night. He had been there since midnight, and hadn't gotten home by the time we left at nine. I was beginning to really resent that other job. But I wasn't going to let that get me down today. The next game we were going to play would be for the city tournament. That was going to take place over the next two to three Saturdays, depending on how we played.

The coach told us to make sure we made it to the practices that week, it was important that we all work really hard together. When we left the Dairy Queen where we had gotten ice cream I sat back in the car thinking about all of the things that had happened that week.

At home I decided to play a computer game since dad wasn't there to monopolize it! I had a Star Wars game that I was playing. I loved games based on space or flight in general. I played that for a few hours until dinner, when I decided to go read a book of some sort.

I thought about it for a bit and decided to read one of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. I found myself thinking not just of growing up then, but growing up as a girl. I found myself thinking more and more that night about being a girl. Truth be told, as I thought about it there had always been a nagging part of my brain that had wanted to be a girl.

There were several opportunities that I had turned down to wear girls clothing… not because I didn't want to, but because I was scared of what people would think. Another night passed of this, and then I went to bed.
 
 
SUNDAY I WOKE up after my parents did. I found I was sleeping later and later these days, something my parents were frequently making comments about. They told me that they didn't know how I could possibly sleep that long! Mom made me some French Toast that I ate while looking at the comics. She left the room to go do something and dad was gone to Wal-Mart.

It was then that I caught sight of the ad from JC Penney. It had girls' clothes on the front of it. I looked at the ad with the girls in their clothes and thought about how great it would be to wear those form fitting shirts. They looked neat. They looked a lot cooler than what I was wearing. I flipped the pages and for the first time looked at the pages with bras and panties. I thought that would be strange to wear, but kind of wanted to try it.

I turned to the Wal-Mart ad and looked at some of the toys that were for girls to play. The dolls seemed kind of foreign to me, but at the same time I could still see playing with them. They even had some Legos in there for girls. More and more I was getting curious, but I knew there was no way I could talk about this with anyone. I would get yelled at… and who knows what else. Dad had always talked about homosexuals with utter hate. What would he think about his son wanting to be a girl?

I decided that I did want to check and see if there were any internet sites that discussed this online. But I would have to wait until after school tomorrow when mom and dad were still at work. They said there was an internet site for everything! Perhaps I could learn if there were any other boys that wanted to be girls.

In the meantime I had some practicing to catch up on, I hadn't been practicing nearly as much the past couple days. I worked out of my method book and music for saxophone for two hours that day, using that as a distraction so I didn't have to think about my problems. I also did that dreaded thing called homework - my science teacher had given us even more vocabulary to copy into our notebooks… I was still mad that he gave me a C!
 
 
THE NEXT DAY was actually fairly uneventful. I hung out with Amy at lunch time, as well as her other friends. I definitely felt like we were becoming close friends, but was starting to wonder if that would mean we would be boyfriend/girlfriend. I honestly wasn't interested in that right then. I needed a friend far more.

I had gone home that day and started looking up my situation on the internet. To my surprise, I quickly discovered there were a lot of others out there like me. I also discovered there was a name for boys like me, transgender. I looked through the sites and couldn't decide if I really qualified for that statement or not. I also found a number of stories that I enjoyed of boys being turned into girls by their mothers for various reasons.

Many of the stories involved boys in similar situations that became more accepted when they became girls. I didn't know what to think about it, since I felt it was probably wrong to feel this way. My Christian upbringing just didn't really allow for me to feel completely at ease with these thoughts. That still didn't stop me from daydreaming and watching the girls more and more to figure out what it would be like though! I also discovered that it was possible, by surgery and hormones, to make yourself look like you had been born a girl.

I had a dream that night that I had several times recently. It just kept rolling over in my head over and over again. It was based on a time when I was about five at my cousin's house.

We pulled up into their driveway and walked into their house. I saw my aunt sitting at the kitchen table. "Where are Abby and Annie?" I asked.

"They're outside swimming in the swimming pool." I looked outside and saw they had a three foot pool set up outside on the lawn.

"Mommy can I go swimming?" I asked.

"Sweetie, we didn't bring your swimsuit, so I'm sorry you won't be able to go."

"But Mommy, I really want to go! Can we go buy a swimsuit?"

"No honey, we don't have any extra money, and I'm sure they'll be done swimming by the time that we got back. Why don't you go watch TV for now?"

"But Mommy!" I started to throw a fit.

"Mandy, he could borrow one I guess."

"Really?" I stopped sobbing a little.

"He could probably borrow one of Annie's swimsuits." My aunt suggested.

"But that's a girl's suit…" I said. "Do you have anything else?"

"Well Uncle Bill's got the only other thing big enough and his is going to be too big for you."

I stood still for a few moments thinking about it. "Okay, can I borrow one of Annie's?" I looked up at Mom to see if she would be okay with it. She shrugged her shoulders and nodded. It had after all ended my tantrum.

"Well, let's go up and see if one of them will fit you."

We walked back to her bedroom and looked in her dresser. She held up a pink swimming suit with purple polka dots on it. When she held it next to me she said, "It looks like it'll fit, do you want to try it on?"

I nodded timidly. She told me how to step into it and pull the straps up. She led me to the bathroom where I pulled off all of my clothes and put it on. I liked the way it fit. I had a type of haircut that was a unisex cut. It was a little short for a girl, but there were many girls with this style too. I could see that I kind of looked like a girl in the mirror.

I went down the hall and my mom and aunt saw me. They gave me a hard time about looking 'cute' and 'pretty' before telling me to go ahead outside. Annie and Abby kind of gave me a funny look, but Annie said, 'you stole my suit!" smiling while she said it. "You look pretty in it."

We were playing in the pool….

I never got any farther than that since Mom woke me up. It was the first of many dreams that I was wearing girls clothing. I also based a lot of my daydreams off of this, since it was really close to what had really happened. My aunt really had offered to let me wear my girl cousin's swimming suit… but I had been too scared and hung up about it, so I had ended up going in my jean shorts instead. It became a really happy dream to think of during the day though!

As the week progressed the meeting about the Florida Experience trip came up quickly. My mom decided to go check out the meeting and dragged my dad along. They came out of the meeting telling me that they wanted to do it, but my dad just had to crunch some more numbers.

That weekend they called me into the kitchen and told me to pull up a chair. Dad said, "Okay Brandon, we think we can do this trip, but we have a few ground rules that we need to set down first."

"YES!!!" I exclaimed loudly. I was really excited! "Okay, what are your rules?" I asked calming down a little.

Mom answered first, "Well first of all we're both going to go on the trip with you." I stared at her for a second half wondering if I should be upset… but I decided it would make life better because I wouldn't have to worry so much about something bad happening.

"Okay. What else?" I asked

Dad answered this time, "You have to fundraise as much as you can. In all honesty this is going to push us to the breaking point this year. But we've decided that this is an opportunity that won't come up again. If you promise that you'll do your best to fundraise we'll go ahead and pay the deposit to Ms. Fitzgerald on Monday."

"Okay, I'll do whatever fundraising I have to do. If I have to go up and down every street in town I'll do it! You guys are awesome!" They both smiled as I gave them both hugs and when I left started dreaming about what it would be like to go to all of those places.

When I went to bed I also began thinking of how wonderful it would be to go on the trip as a girl instead of a guy…
 
 
Two Weeks Later

IT WAS SATURDAY, we had just gotten done with our second set of city tournament games. We had learned just twp hours ago that we were going to be playing two final games next Saturday. If we won the first we would go to the final match for the championship. If we lost that one, we would play a consolation game for third place.

On our way home from the game Mom said, "Brandon, your hair's getting pretty long. We're going to need to cut it when we get home unless you want to start doing something different with it."

"What else could I do with it Mom?"

"Well I suppose you could grow it out to the bowl cut that everyone has now."

"Okay, that sounds good. Let's do that." Mom kind of gave me a strange look, I hadn't wanted to do anything else with my hair for the past two years. To her this seemed like a sudden change. I thought that maybe I could use the bowl cut for a first step on my new goal of growing it down to my shoulders.
 
 
A few minutes later I decided that I would take this one step at a time. I figured that by the time I got to December it should be at about five inches long - almost longer than the "bowl cut" Mom had suggested. When she asked about cutting it then I would say I just wanted it trimmed! And get them to let me grow it the rest of the way out.

I had begun looking for guys in the media and in movies with long hair so that I could emulate them. Or at least say that I was! It had been really nice during the past two weeks because I was getting picked on less and less by the other kids. I figured it had to do with my run-ins with Matt and Jeff. The comments
hadn't completely stopped, but no one was getting physically violent with me anymore. I think they all believed deep down that I was still a wimp, but they were all nervous about pushing it.

More than anything else - damage or not, the loss of face to those two made people not want to try me. That gave me the courage I needed to go ahead and grow my hair out.

Over the past two weeks I had also continued hanging out with Amy at school at every chance I got. We talked and both agreed we were just friends, not wanting to date each other. She became my first girl 'girlfriend.'

The next weekend my team won the city championship soccer tournament! It was really cool, they gave us medals and everything! We had a big party at the coach's house to celebrate the week after that. Our team had even ended up with our team photo in the town's newspaper. It was by far the coolest thing to ever happen to me.

By December Mom had to trim the front of my hair to keep it from getting in my eyes. I loved the fact that I basically had bangs now if I combed my hair forward. It had gotten to the point where it was seven inches long. Definitely longer than the bowl cut I'd told my mom I wanted to have. It was beginning to come down my neck, I was guessing it would be at least shoulder length by the time we went on the trip.

I was still trying to decide how to justify getting it longer to my parents when I got a great excuse in the form a Christian rock band I listened to. Two of the guys in the group had their hair all the way down to their back. I started pointing out to my mom and dad how cool it would be to play in a group like that. I used that as the excuse to keep growing my hair out - and my parents reluctantly bought into it. I still got a little grief from them about it from time to time, but things were generally going pretty well on that fight.

My first act of my attempt to at least look a bit more like a girl was going according to plan.


 
To Be Continued...

up
215 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

You Have To Read This!

Hi Tiff,

Let me be the very first to congratulate you on getting it up here, finally!
You're going to have a million hits, and wonderful comments, I'm sure.

Thanks again for letting me edit for you!

Hugs
Carla Ann

I Love Everything You Do Tiff !

jengrl's picture

I am so happy to see your wonderful work over here on BCTS. I look forward to more in the future. Thank you for posting it here!

Hugs,

Lady Jennifer

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Very nice

A very nice story, one of my favourite, posted a while a go on FictionMania. I really hope you will post Daring to hope here too. And even third book? If there is?
With thumbs up
Robin

Book 3 is a work in

Book 3 is a work in progress. I'm hoping to finally hit the 60,000 word mark here in the next few days. My guess is that it's going to be 130-160k when I finish, so I'm getting close to half-way through. Unfortunately I've had a busy fall and early spring so I haven't had a lot of time to work on it. That should improve here soon I hope though! :-) Right now my guess is that I'll get it finished writing wise in late March, early April. Then it'll be a lot of editing - I want it to be right before I let it out. I will let you all know when I do though!

Thanks for reading!
-Tiffany :-)

Budding girlhood

Brandon has been meeting life's challenges and succeeding. Also discovering the feminine side to his personality. I was curious as to why Lisa challenged Brandon as to his chest sticking out? Does he have gyneomastia? I can't wait to see where this story is going.

Budding girlhood

Brandon has been meeting life's challenges and succeeding. Also discovering the feminine side to his personality. I was curious as to why Lisa challenged Brandon as to his chest sticking out? Does he have gyneomastia? I can't wait to see where this story is going.

I think I can explain Liza's challenge.

Hi Cynthia,

I don't want to steal any of my dear friend Tiffany's thunder, but I have spent enough time
with Brandon and Amy that I think I know the characters pretty well. Brandon seems, by
all external accounts to be a perfectly formed male child, but small for his age, and
very slight of build. That alone can be a challenge in school (I speak from personal
experience), but he has the further challenge of being the youngest in his class.
Unknown to Brandon at the time, "his" mind is that of a girl and he tends to walk
and move like one, with better posture. Liza being the girlfriend of the school
bully, was just finding something else to use as a tool for humiliating the poor child.
Maybe she was projecting too (okay, that's a really bad pun - sue me!)

You will come to see in later chapters that this moment is pivotal in young Brandon's life.
Would that many of us had had such an epiphany at such an age.

Tiffany will have the rest of the book up in a few days, she discovered that the formats
between sites are different enough that significant reformatting had to be done, and
that takes time.

Hugs
Carla Ann

Yeah, I'm a bit late to

Yeah, I'm a bit late to reply to this, but in a way I can understand the comments made to Brandon. At about the same age, several older girls that I lived near would make comments about how I walked, asking me why I walked like a girl. I didn't stick my chest out, but I did, and still do to a point, walk on the balls of my feet and put them towards the center of my body. Apparently from behind, mine had a lot of movement. It was the boys that asked where my bra was.

Ring up a sale here

Hi

Loved this book on Storysite, and was kind of sad that Crystal is not posting any new storis lateley, so am not getting to see any new work you may be producing. so very glad to see you here. I loved this book so much that I have already went and purchased a copy, and hope this encourages others to do the same.

have you plans for publishing book 2 and 3 and any other works?

Wishing you all the very best.

Natasha

Thank you! I'm hoping to

Thank you!

I'm hoping to put book 2 up here in a few weeks. I'm trying to go through the same process with it as I did book 1, so it's rather time consuming. It will eventually be up though! Thanks so much!
-Tiffany :-)

Hey Tiffany, Glad to see you

Hey Tiffany,

Glad to see you made it here finally. Can't wait to see all your works posted here.

Love ya!

----------------------------
May the Stars light your path.
Joy

This is definitely an interesting story!

It has got the feel of a child's world to it and the trauma some of us tend to go through. I felt the shivers and the fears of Brandon as my eyes pursed through the text. this story has a lot of potential and has caused me to care for Brandon, as if he were someone I knew.

Please post the next chapter as soon as you can Tiffany, This is great stuff!

Val

This is a really, really good story

I never liked bullies, because they are always picking people smaller than they are and weaker. That isbecause they are so afraid they woul get beat up i they picked on someone their own strengh. But Brandon surprisedthem and that is good. I like it that Brandon can experiment, at least in his thoughts about being the girl he always as been. Having his parents let him grow his hair long, is usually the first step, and then sometimes, but not always, things fall into place from there. I'm waiting for the next installment.

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"With confidence and forebearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

standing up to life

I know excatly just what you mean by bullies having been bullied at school myself and did not like it but i have to tell you that i have read the full book after buying the download edition from lulu.com and believe me when i say that reading the full story instead of waiting for it to come out bit by bit was just wonderful it is worth paying the small amount of $3 for the download and unlike other books i have read reading some now and some at a latter date with this was one book that i just could not stop reading until i finished it and i can't wait to read the next book in the trigoly all i can truly say is that i hope we don't have to wait to l.ong for the next book i hope to purchase all three of the book when they come for my lirary so that at times when i feel down i can just cuddle up in bed and read to my hearts content i do hope that you understand what i mean and i just want to thank the author for allowing me the privilage of reading a beautiful,loving and very sentamentil story

Stradapc

I recognise this, only too well,

Having been VERY small myself at that age and easily made to cry, so I also got bullied a lot because of this. However, 4 feet 2 inches and 75 pounds, I wish; when I came to change schools I was nearly 12 years old and, at that time in the UK, you always had to have a medical exam when you changed schools, so I came in at 3 feet 11 inches "tall" and weighed just 50 pounds (or as we called it, about 3 and half stone); I really was a skinny little wimp. But when everyone else stopped growing later on, I just kept on growing, until, at the age of 24 I topped out at a respectable 5 feet 9 inches tall and weighed about 140 to 150 pounds; slim, yes, but acceptable.
So I can fully understand how a child like Brandon feels, unfortunatley my feelings of wrongness were not, at that time, something that you could discuss with anyone, not if you did not want land up in a mental institution, so I hope that Brandon has a better oportunity to find himself, or herself, than I had at that age. I really look forward to reading the rest of this story, thankyou Tiff for sharing it with us,
Love and cuddles,
Janice Elizabeth

I can appreciate what

I can appreciate what Brandon is going thru, as I was the smallest in nearly all my grades until I got into high school. I was fortunate tho, as being a "military brat", most of the schools I went to were either dependent schools or civilian schools on military bases. Bullying was totally "outlawed" and kids knew it, as in my childhood era, ANYTHING you did wrong as a kid reflected on your parent who was the military member. Generally that was the Father, and you DID NOT want that to happen, as it could cost them their career. Janice Lynn

Great start!

I saw the first part of Book 3 appear on BCTS, so naturally decided it might be a good idea to read the other two...

It's always interesting seeing the variety of 'epiphany' moments in TG stories where the protagonist suddenly realises that life would make more sense as a girl. A torment by the girlfriend of a school bully is certainly one of the more unusual!

But talk about a bright child - not only has he worked out he's TG, but he's also formulating a plan to start weaning his parents onto the idea. I suspect it won't be too long before he engineers a scenario whereby he can get dressed 'en femme'...

...oh well, only one way to find out - keep reading!

P.S. courtesy of my vote, this episode's just passed the 100 vote 'barrier'! Congrats!

 


There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Thanks!

Thank you for your comment, and pushing it over the 100 mark! :-D I was watching it all day yesterday waiting to see if it would happen. I hope you enjoy the rest of the books!

-Tiffany Shar :-)

PS
Thank you to everyone who has
voted for this story and left comments.
I'm glad to see that so many have
enjoyed it! :-)

Hope I'm not *too* late ^_-

Zoe Taylor's picture

Hey there,

I realize this was posted over a year ago, but I felt compelled to comment. I've stopped trying to write for now because I just can't seem to find my 'voice', but I still very much enjoy reading because of stories like this.

Sometimes, when it's late at night and I can't sleep, I just need a good coming-of-age story to lift the spirits, and this looks like it's going to be one of those up-all-weekend ones, come Friday :-D

Looking forward to reading more as I can, but I just wanted to offer my humble thanks for what I've read so far.

Cheers,
~ Zoe

~* Queen of Sweetness *~

Become a Patron for early access ♥

I am so glad the 'voice' came back.

WillowD's picture

Magic of the Kingdom and the Becoming Robin series are two of my favorite books (well, series).

This is such a great story!

Brandon, and the others in this story feel like real, people, with real issues, hopes and dreams. I really enjoyed the first chapter, and am looking forward to starting the next one. Thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful story! :)

Thanks

Thanks for commenting Heather!