Dear Diary : 2007-11-21

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Dear Diary
by Edeyn Hannah Blackeney


Wednesday, 21 November, 2007

Dear Diary

Okay.

Shopping is fun -- it's one of my favorite pasttimes.

But shopping with four other girls, all of us with our own ideas of a schedule, our own agendas as to which sales to hit...

It's still fun, and a blast... but exhausting!

Like, every single store seemed to know 'Nessa and Hayleigh, and most knew Lisa and Jennifer... and I was so totally tired of being introduced to clerks and 'sales associates' by the end of the evening I wanted to scream.

"So who's your new friend, girls?"

Every.

Stinking.

Store.

The first couple startled us, because we weren't thinking of me as a 'new' addition. Hayleigh even said later that it was weird thinking of me as the 'new' girl because I was the reason we all hung out together.

That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So, anyway, we figured out after like, 20 minutes, that we all had Goth Topic on our 'must visit' lists, so we all just swarmed it. The dude in there was way put out because we're TEENYBOPPERS. Shyah. Right. As if. The chick in there, though... she didn't see teenyboppers. She saw dollar signs and knew to treat those dollar signs courteously. I got some purple and black stripey socks that come all the way up to the tops of my thighs, and a purple plaid skirt that 'Nessa said was indecently short, but Jennifer thinks I should wear it to school on Monday. I got a thing that looks like a corset when it's all done up and buckled (yeah, buckles on a corset is so nifty!), but really slips over my head and blouse. It matches the skirt and socks, and I got some Scá¼nci that match, too (y'know, I really don't know how to pronounce that, but I've always said it like "scrunchy" and no one's corrected me). With the boots I got to go with it all over at Faerie Feets, that was like half of my shopping funds. Oh! Lisa got this AMAZING green and brown outfit at Earthen Princess (lame name, but they have such awesome clothes) -- green and brown may sound boring, but it's abso-fricking-lutely the most gorgeous anything any of us came away with. It suits her, too. Green and brown and earth tone stuff just makes me look like I've been making mud pies.

At one point, I could SWEAR that I saw my Goober following us. But if he was, he and the OTHER goobers he was with (yeah, I know I saw at least a couple) were good at hiding once we spotted 'em.

Good day.

Great day.

Holy crap I spent a lot of money!

Being a girl is so expensive!

Courtney

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Comments

Girls Are Expensive

terrynaut's picture

Girls are more expensive than boys. That's for sure. But what do they expect? It takes a lot of money to look good. No wonder we get disappointed when a certain special someone doesn't say anyting about how nice we look. :(

And another thing! Since girls spend so much on their appearance, boys should pay the meals and entertainment. It's the least they could do. Right? :)

Thanks for the entry. I'm all wound up now but the day is young. I'll work it off before bedtime. *giggle*

- Terry

Why?

It is pretty much understood that, A) girls dress-up to impress the other females, not the guy; and B) the guys don't really care all that much what the girls are wearing anyway. If women want to blow their money on fancy clothes, shiny gee-gaws, and war paint, why should that exempt them from paying their way?

Equality, baby, equality!

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Guys these days

Edeyn are always willing to shout equality when it comes to things like "who pays" on a date. They're always quick to point out that "women WANTED to be EQUAL" in an instant. That's right. We want to be equal. But not just on a date.

What about at home? In the majority of western society, who still does the housework? Who does the majority of taking care of the babies? When on average men do as much at home as women do, and when women are making the same wage for the same work with the same qualifications, instead of 80% of what a man with the qualifications and doing the same job makes... THEN I might agree that "equality" is a real possibility. The ERA failed, remember?


Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Wasn't it Jim Henson who said, "Without faith, I am nothing," after all? No, wait, that was God... Sorry, common mistake to make...

Re: Guys

I'm single, self-supporting, own my own house and truck (no payments). So that sharing the load at home crap doesn't apply to me.

The company I work for has both male and female workers. All are paid according to a standard wage according to job skill, no differentiation by sex. My job catagory is one of the highest in the plant, there are 18 of us, 5 of which are women, which pretty much follows the same percentages of general workers, ie about 25 percent are women. So that doesn't apply either.

So, the idea that I always have to pay the way because women spend all their money on clothes and shoes and makeup is so much BS.

Here's the way it goes: If I ask the woman out, I pay. If she asks me out, she pays. If it is a group of friends, everybody pays their own way. That is equality.

I don't live in an ivory castle, and all that ERA stuff makes me no matter-mind. We do the same job, we get the same pay. If a woman expects the man to pay the way everytime because she spent all her money on clothes, etc., That is sexist!

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

Except it's not true

Edeyn Look at what I said. Did I say it specifically applied to you? Why the attitude?

The fact is, as of the most recent studies (which concluded in November 2007, so not that long ago) women make 23% less for the same work as men. I'm not saying you're taking the money away from us personal, skippy. I'm not saying that you don't know some women that make the same in the same jobs. It's called an average. So, think about that. For an average to be accurate, that means for every woman that makes the same as a man in the same position, there is one that makes just over half -- 54% -- of a man in the same position. I wasn't accusing you personally. I was just pointing out the sexism inherent in the current system.

As for your bullshit stat of only 25% of the workforce being female, according to the census bureau in 2007 , 46% of the workforce in the United States was female. That's a hell of a lot more than 25%. The only 25% I could find anywhere is that a full 25% of women in the workforce in the U.S. are employed part-time, 75% are employed full-time. The largest percentage of employed women (39%) worked in management, professional, and related occupations; 34% worked in sales and office occupations; 20% in service occupations; 6% in production, transportation, and material moving occupations; and 1% in natural resources, construction, and maintenance occupations.

Don't EVER try to tell me that my opinion "doesn't apply" -- ever. I never said anything about men have to pay because women buy "clothes and shoes and makeup" so don't attribute that to me. I was going against the whole idea of the sexist saying that since women wanted to be "equal" they should have to pay their own way on dates -- and I stand by my opinion on that fact, because on average the male half of the population DOESN'T do as much at home. Women have gone out in the workforce and gotten jobs (and get 23% less pay for their efforts), and when a couple where both work come home, it's still the woman that's EXPECTED to make dinner, do the laundry, clean the house, etc -- on top of working. When the "man" is asked to mow the lawn, or do other "men's work" around the house, the jokes about how women expect equality until time for the chores start. THAT is what "is so much BS."

Why do you decide "the way it goes:" anyway? Are you trying to tell me you're in charge of me?

Of course the ERA stuff doesn't matter to you -- you don't have to deal with being on the downside of it. No matter how many times you SAY that women get the same pay for the same job as you, it doesn't make it true! No one said that women "... expect a man to pay the way everytime because she spent all her money..." except you, Withheld. I'm saying that women are justified in expecting a man to pay the way because women are not even CLOSE to being "equal" despite years of struggling to make it so. If guys want to keep the superior position, they have to take the good with the bad. When the reality is closer to equality, THEN I'll be okay with chastising a girl for wanting a guy to pay.

Not that ANY of that applies to me, because I'm a lesbian!


Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Wasn't it Jim Henson who said, "Without faith, I am nothing," after all? No, wait, that was God... Sorry, common mistake to make...

Try reading it next time

Obviously, you paid little attention to what I actually wrote, which was in a reply to your reply to my post. Of course it it is personal, skippy

I said that the department of the plant I work in has about twenty-five percent female workforce. You, like Terrynaut, are making sweeping statements for which you offer no evidence. On the otherhand, I am only discussing my workplace, about which I can speak with some accuracy.

No matter how many times you SAY that women get the same pay for the same job as you, it doesn't make it true!

It does in my example, which is the only one I have the requisite knowledge to discuss. I don't know about other places and other jobs, so I carefully used the one situation where I can speak without make broad, sweeping, unsupported generalizations.

No one said that women "... expect a man to pay the way everytime because she spent all her money..." except you, Withheld.

Nope, Terry did first. And another thing! Since girls spend so much on their appearance, boys should pay the meals and entertainment. It's the least they could do. Right? :)

I'm saying that women are justified in expecting a man to pay the way because women are not even CLOSE to being "equal" despite years of struggling to make it so.

So you say, and it may well be true that in many areas the pay for females is less than pay for males. I can only address my personal situation, because it is the only one I have real facts for. OTOH, you make sweeping generalizations saying that your beliefs are valid for all places. I have just shown they are not.

Read and learn, read and remember, read and comprehend. It is people reacting like you that sealed the fate of the ERA, IMHO, because their behavior provoked a strong negative reaction from the opponents.

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

YOUR POST?!?

Edeyn You should have control of the conversation because it's on your post? It's on my story, if you'd care to look. And no, you're the one 'obviously' not paying attention. I was unaware that "Skippy" is something to be taken as an insult, which you seem to have done.

You were the one that decided to get insulting first.

You did NOT make it clear you were "only discussing" your workplace. No evidence? I can produce evidence for everything I've said, and you don't seem to have produced any either, and all you've been doing is utilizing an entire smorgasbord of logical fallacies to try to make your point (Strawman, Ad Hominem, Argument from Popularity, Post Hoc, Argument from Outrage and Hasty Generalization -- just off the top of my head).

As for it being true in your example? No. Your example is a part of the larger group. Add Fallacy of Division to your list.

You even provide the quotes, and you think that's the same thing said? What you said is FAR from an exact or paraphrase either one. Terry never said it was expected.

And don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say that my opinion was 100% of places. I was, in fact, quite careful to say that it was on the AVERAGE.

I read, learn and remember more than you likely do, so just STOP with trying to be insulting. The ERA failed not because of people reacting like me, but because not ENOUGH reacted like me.

Further comments by you on this particular chapter of this story will be deleted with prejudice.


Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Wasn't it Jim Henson who said, "Without faith, I am nothing," after all? No, wait, that was God... Sorry, common mistake to make...

and... no...

Edeyn It is NOT "pretty much understood that... girls dress-up to impress the other females," at all. Only in the case of lesbianism -- which hey, I'm not knocking at all. I have a girlfriend who doesn't wear makeup at all, and doesn't do what you're accusing. And we're happy with each other.

Edeyn Hannah Blackeney
Wasn't it Jim Henson who said, "Without faith, I am nothing," after all? No, wait, that was God... Sorry, common mistake to make...

Looking Good Is Expensive

terrynaut's picture

Goodness me. Am I wrong in assuming that men like women to spend a lot of money to look nice for them? Would men rather have women not spend a lot of money and time to look good? I wonder what would happen if women spent no more money and time than men did. Can you say fashion disaster? ;)

As for girls looking good for other girls, that's not exactly true in my experience. I found two main reasons (not the only reasons but the majority) why girls dress up. The first was that they just liked looking good for themselves. It gave them a boost to their self-esteem. The second was that they would try to outdo other girls because they were competing for attention from boys.

- Terry