Something Feels Strange - 18

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Something Feels Strange…

Something Feels Strange


Yes... I like Tom. He is a good guy and comfortable to be around. Throughout the conversation Laurie has to send me silent signals to remind me to not slip back into boy mode while we talk. I find myself slipping back towards guy mode as we relax around each other. I think Tom likes talking to a girl who acts more like a guy–he is obviously not trying to impress me, just normal guy to guy talk.  It feels good.


Chapter 18: Shopping With The Girls


"You really need to express your feminine side more." The platinum blonde pouts as she holds up a micro-mini skirt and an impossibly skimpy top for me to model for the group.

"Maybe so," I respond, "but that's going a bit too far for me. Why don't you try it? It'll probably look great on you."

I find myself in the company of four of my new peers in a trendy boutique store in Alaska's largest shopping mall–which isn't saying much. Laurie and Ashley make up half the group with the balance consisting of Shelly and Kimi–my current tormentor. It turns out that all three Alaskan girls must be very popular judging from all the people that seem to know them–you can't walk down the hall without them being greeted by a number of other kids.

"And I thought that all you California girls were up on the latest fashions," Shelly adds, sounding disappointed. I think that she was hoping to learn something from us.

Ashley, Shelly and Kimi are reasonably trim and seem intent on showing off their bodies as much as they can. Kimi is wearing clothes similar to what she wants me to try on along with three-inches heel and enough jewelry and makeup to overload a camel. Shelly is wearing skin tight black leather pants that leave nothing to the imagination, stiletto four-inch heels, and a thin tight top that shows off her large bust to anyone that cares to look–and anyone else that looks her way. Ashley is the most conservative of the Alaskan bunch with tight, extremely low cut jeans and a top that stops just above her navel and shows enough cleavage so that there is no doubt that she is a girl–as if the curves weren't enough of an indicator.

I suspect that if these girls were caught outdoors that they would make superb mosquito bait.

"Laurie knows more than I do," I say. "I've just never gotten into the clothes scene too much. I'm more of an outdoors girl." I thought that Alaska girls would be too. There is definitely a clash in expectations here.

Both Laurie and I are wearing our hipster jeans and tops that actually cover our midriffs. Mine has a more conservative neckline than does Laurie's, but she is more accustomed to this sort of thing.  Also, I doubt that Aunt Jen would have let us out of the house wearing anything similar to what these other girls are wearing. Laurie is wearing her sandals and I have on my running shoes which don't seem to pass muster with the locals.

"Well," Laurie hedges, "I think the skirt is cute but our mothers would never let us wear one that short. As far as the top goes, Tina really needs a top that doesn't accentuate how small her bust is." As if I'd like to have a larger bust!

We've been wandering through the mall for an hour, getting a feel for each other's personal preferences. We have all tried on several outfits but no one has spent any money yet. And, yes, I did try on one of the short skirts and a revealing top. The skirt did look cute on the girl in the mirror but I felt way too exposed. The top also added to my discomfort. I assume that feeling comfortable walking around nearly naked requires some conditioning.

"You really need to get a push up bra, girl," Ashley suggests, "if you want to get noticed."

I wonder why would I want to 'get noticed' and by whom. Besides, we did buy one for me during our midnight shopping extravaganza in California. I just haven't felt the need to wear it yet.

"You should see what happens to poor Tom when I wear one," she giggles. "He gets pretty distracted."

This shopping trip is not going all that well. In fact, I think I preferred shopping with the older women.

The thought of new lingerie prompts an exodus from the boutique to a lingerie store down the way. As we approach the store entrance Laurie realizes that I am beginning to get tense. She puts her arm around my shoulders and gives me a friendly squeeze while she whispers in my ear: "You can do this. It's fun! Just think like Tina."

Like I'm supposed to know how Tina would think?

Crossing the threshold of a lingerie store is like passing through an emotional force field.  All guys know the feeling. While we are unquestionably interested in the contents of such a store–or should I say, interested in seeing a girl wear the items found in such a store–actually entering a lingerie store is one of the hardest things that most guys will ever have to do. That is if they can actually do it. There is a huge social stigma against guys shopping for female underwear. For girls, on the other hand, it is another story–they love it and I can see why.  The colors and styles are endless. There is a lot of opportunity to express yourself creatively–if you are a girl.

We're barely inside the door before the girls are pawing through the sales table looking for that perfect pair of panties, temporarily forgetting about the bra search that led us here. They hold likely pairs up in front of themselves trying to decide what they would look like on their bodies.

Laurie holds up a black lacy thong, "Tina, doesn't this look good? It would go with that black dress of yours. I could use a pair like this myself."

I turn a bright shade of red.

"You really are a tomboy, aren't you?" Shelly observes. "Don't you have anything like that?"

"Ah, n-n-no," I stammer. 

"Like I said," Kimi remarks, "you really need to start bringing out your feminine side. New lingerie will help you get more into being a girl instead of a cave woman."  I think she might be getting tired of my conservative nature and hesitancy about wearing clothes that scream GIRL.

"Half the fun of being a girl," Shelly informs me, "is that we get to have some fun with our clothes. Come on, Tina, let's help you blossom into the girl that you were born to be. You are much too cute to hide behind frumpy clothes."

And I thought that my current outfit was far from frumpy. I begin to think that her definition of blossoming will involve lots of exposed skin and painted-on fabric where covering is required by law.

I realize that Shelly has found her mission for the day. I can tell by the look in her eyes that no way is she going to take 'no' for an answer. I look to Laurie for backup, but it seems that she is in general agreement with Shelly, although she is not going to get forceful with me.

"Maybe," Shelley continues, "we can find some middle ground here, but not in the lingerie department.  Sexy lingerie is the basis for feeling feminine all over but needs to be chosen for the outfit. How about we help you find out how good it feels to look sexy? If you don't like it, then we'll back off. The search will give some focus to our shopping."

"I think that sounds like a great idea," agrees Ashley. Kimi grins as she nods in agreement. Laurie just shrugs her shoulders.

"Okay," I say warily, "but I don't want to look like a hooker. It needs to be nice. And only one outfit. It has to be the perfect one."

Apparently, this is the ultimate shopping challenge. Purchase only one outfit, but it has to be perfect.

Laurie pipes up, "What occasion should we be shooting for?"

"How about tomorrow night's movie?" suggests Ashley. "She should look smoking hot for the swim team guys. In fact, I think that we all should dress up a bit more than we would normally and watch what it does to the guys."

Apparently Kimi and Shelly are also part of the group going out tomorrow night. In fact, they have been talking about the good and bad qualities of some of the guys as we've worked our way through the mall. They've also dished a few of the girls. I get the sense that there is a bit of rivalry among the females. For what?–I'm not really sure.

"Alright," Kimi summarizes, "hot but not for sale. That's what we want. She needs to look good and still be a challenge. Be careful, Ashley, you don't want her to steal Tom from you."

"I'll take care of Tom," she says with a wink, "don't worry about him."

"I think that all of us should find the perfect outfits for tomorrow," I suggest hoping that broadening the challenge will take some of the attention away from me.

"Great idea!" Laurie agrees, catching on to what I'm trying to do. "This will be a great challenge, but we need to start with the clothes first as Shelley suggested then we can find the perfect lingerie to go with it."

Now that we have some focus, the group coalesces and we start working our way through the various stores and boutiques in the mall on our quest. With a sense of mission, the eagerness of the group is contagious and we are getting along better after our rocky start. As we work our way through the various stores, even I start to lighten up and actually begin looking through racks and stacks for the perfect items that would make a guy like Chris drool over a girl like Tina. As I think about it, a push-up bra might be just the ticket. Chris would be distracted by a bigger chest than Tina's. We all try on many different outfits with the collective group providing critique of each one.

Kimi is the first to strike gold; as expected, the short denim skirt and tube top she chose shows off way more skin than either Laurie or I would be comfortable with.  Kimi is pretty excited and says that she has the perfect heels to go with the outfit at home. I think she looks pretty hot.  I find myself staring at her when Laurie gives me an elbow in the ribs to get my attention. Her eyes communicate that I am starting to act like a guy again and that I need to quit staring. I guess that I'm still not seeing girls in the same way a girl would. My sixteen years of masculinity is showing.

With her purchases in hand, Kimi provides support for the rest of us.

The next to score is Laurie. She keeps looking to me for approval. I guess this is my big chance to dress her how Chris would like to have her dress. As Chris, I have never gone for the tight fitting slutty look on girls.  As a matter of fact I think that Laurie looks great in the colorful loose fitting skirt she is currently wearing.  The hem falls a couple of inches above the knee. The top she end up with is a peasant blouse that has half length sleeves and shows a hint of cleavage.  She finds a pair of white open toed strappy sandals with two inch heels to compliment the outfit. She looks also hot. I hope she wears it many times when Chris returns.

The other girls all agree that my very slender form screams out for a short skirt but I resist. I suggest a couple of pant suit options without any success. I finally agree to a sundress that ends about three inches above the knee. It has a spaghetti straps holding the top up and shows off my shoulders but no cleavage.  The fabric is white with black and turquoise geometric patterns on it that I really like. While I am not at all accustomed to loose fitting clothes that allow a breeze up my legs I have to admit that the dress looks pretty good on Tina. A pair of white leather open-toed strappy sandals with thick soles and two inch heels complete the look. The girls try to get me to get something with a taller heel, but there is no way that I could walk around in something like that without significant practice. I have to remove my bra to wear this dress.  I am either going to have to go without a bra or get a strapless one. While my breasts are relatively small and firm, they do jiggle when I move so it looks as if a strapless one will be needed.

Staring at myself in the mirror, I am amazed at how different I look in a dress to how I did in the jeans and top. Tina would definitely have gotten Chris's attention if he were here. I'm also scared to move for fear of falling. I almost fell on my face walking over to the mirror from the dressing room. With this short dress I'm sure that I will give quite a show if I take a fall.

"You don't have any heels, do you?" Kimi states more than asks. "I can't understand how a cute girl like you could have avoided real clothes for so long." The she then takes it upon herself to instruct me on how to walk wearing girl shoes. She has me walking all around the shop while the others continue the quest for Ashley and Shelly.

"Don't you own any dresses?" she asks. "You don't seem very comfortable in that one."

"Yes," I respond, "I have a couple of dresses but I haven't really worn them much. I'm pretty partial to pants. Also, I do own a pair of heels but I don't use them much either."

Kimi rolls her eyes. "Girl, don't you realize what a great body you have? It deserves to be flaunted. You're a real knock out when you dress up. It always feels good to look your best. Add the right makeup, style your hair a bit, and added some nice jewelry and I bet all the boys will be tripping over each other to get your attention tomorrow night."

Looking in the mirror I can see what she says about the need for work on my makeup, hair, and jewelry. While I really like my running necklace–which I am, of course, wearing right now–the heart shape pendent would be a better choice with this dress. I'm thinking that I might need to expand my jewelry collection as I expand my wardrobe.

Kimi has me let my hair down from its ponytail and–wow!–what a difference. I'd be tongue-tied around me if I were still a guy. Yep, Chris would be seriously distracted–even with Laurie around. I can see where some nice dangly earrings will look sensational. I resolve to get a pair today.

I'm having major problems getting used to the feel of the loose fitting lightweight dress.  The dress combined with the very skimpy bikini panties I'm wearing today make me feel as if I am walking around nearly naked. That is all I have on–other than the shoes–right now. The exposed shoulders and lack of sleeves result in an uncomfortable new sensation. I keep pulling at the hem of the dress in a vain attempt to make it longer.  It is also loose so that I feel very exposed from underneath. I am afraid wearing this dress in a light breeze could be extremely embarrassing: also I'm afraid of sitting down in public. I'm going to have to work much harder than I have been up until now to sit like a girl in this thing.

After a few laps around the store, I develop a feel for the shoes and find that I can walk in them just fine as long as I concentrate on what I am doing. Like most things it will take practice before I can do it effortlessly.

Stopping by the jewelry counter Kimi and I spend time looking at earrings while the rest continue searching for Ashley's and Shelly's outfits. I let Kimi know that I'd really like some dangly earrings. There are dozens of different styles. She finds a pair that she just can't live without before we find a pair for me.  She calls mine chandelier style with each one having silver tear-drop shaped loops with strands of tiny colored beads hanging from them. They hang a little over two inches and complement the dress and my hair perfectly. The earrings are added to my inventory.

As the afternoon wanes we are finally able to find suitably sexy outfits for Shelly and Ashley. Our last stop is back at the lingerie store.

As we are pawing through the sales table and display racks, it suddenly occurs to me that my anxiety about shopping for sexy lingerie is pretty much gone. In fact, I find myself getting excited to try on some of the items we find. I ask Brain Central, 'Doesn't something seem wrong here?' What I get back is, 'Yes, what's wrong is that you don't have a bra that will work with the sundress and it would be good to get a matching panty to go with whatever you find.' I think that Brain Central is missing the point. I–a boy in disguise–am panty and bra shopping without anxiety and actually–I hate to admit it–enjoying the challenge of finding the right pieces. I am either confident in my disguise or ... I don't really want to think about the 'or'.

But I have to think about the 'or'–'but not right now,' Brain Central comes back, 'we need to get this shopping done. What do you think of the white strapless push up bra that Ashley is showing you? Isn't it darling?' I have been abandoned by myself.

"I'll try it on," I respond to Ashley's suggestion.

Finally, by the time we finish with lingerie I am getting pretty tired.  I also know a lot more about girls' clothes than I did at lunch time. In the end, there is a feeling of accomplishment in having achieved our goal. We have also gelled as a group.

I feel a bond of friendship with each girl in our group–something that I have never felt with girls before. A bond of friendship as equals and without the barrier of opposite genders–a bond of sisterhood, a bond that I never expected to experience in my lifetime. In many ways it is similar to the way that I have felt with many of my guy friends after accomplishing some task, but also different.  A sisterhood is not quite the same as a brotherhood. Neither is better than the other. They are just different.

As we finish our shopping, Shelly makes a suggestion.

"Hey, girl friends," she says enthusiastically, "Why don't we have a sleepover at my house tonight? We can order pizza, watch movies, work on our nails and hair for tomorrow's date, and have all sorts of fun."

"Sorry, Shelly, but I can't," responds Ashley apologetically, "I promised Tom that I'd spend some time with him after he gets off work at 9 o'clock."

"How about you guys?" She asks Kimi, Laurie, and me.

When Laurie calls home to check, Aunt Jen suggests that we come home instead since we have a full day tomorrow that starts early.

"Sorry, Shelly," Laurie says, "We have a big day tomorrow and, if your sleepovers are anything like mine, nobody will get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning. Also, Tina needs to go running early in the morning to get ready for Saturday's race."

The topic of my running had come up during the day. While the Alaskan girls are on the swim team at their school I get the feeling that they are on the team mostly to be around hunky guys in speedos. None of them excel at swimming. They wonder what the attraction to running is.

In the end, we go our separate ways with Ashley dropping us off at the Jeffer's home just in time for dinner. We all agreed to wear our new clothes for tomorrow evening's outing with promises to go all out on our hair and makeup.  We decide to make a grand entrance tomorrow by all arriving at the theatre together.  Ashley will pick up Laurie and me in time to do some work on the finishing touches at her house where Kimi and Shelley will meet us.

"Girls," Mom Polly asks, "what did you get?"

"We all bought outfits for tomorrow's night out," Laurie says enthusiastically. "We thought that we'd try to really make a splash."

"Isn't that a little much for just a movie?" Aunt Jen asks after we show her what we bought.

"Yes," I reply, "but we thought that it would be fun to see the reactions we get when we arrive all dressed up. It also gave focus to our shopping."

"My," says Aunt Jen with a raised eyebrow, "do we have another shopaholic on our hands?"

"Not really," I say blushing.

"Why don't you two girls run upstairs and put on your new clothes for dinner," Mom Polly suggests. "I'd love to see what they look like on you."

"Great idea! I think that you'll like it and, anyway, Tina needs practice time in her new dress," says Laurie as she drags me upstairs.

When we reach the top floor Laurie disappears into the bathroom to take care of her monthly problem while instructing me to start changing.

Back in the room I quickly strip down to my underwear.  I am going to have to use the new bra so the one I've been wearing all day is quickly replaced and I am slipping the dress on as Laurie enters the room.

"Tina, you should wear your new thong," she suggests. "You might as well do the whole package."

I am leery about wearing the thong. I might as well go without given the lack of substance of the tiny panty. I was talked into it by the assembled shoppers telling me that it is necessary to avoid any panty lines. Not that any would show with this loose dress.

Sighing in resignation I reach under the skirt, slip off my bikini panties and slip on the thong.  It is uncomfortable having that string up my butt crack. I don't think that I am going to like thongs. At least I can ditch the panty liner. I'm pretty sure that the thong will not accommodate the panty liner that I've been wearing for practice all day.

"Don't forget your new jewelry," she reminds me. "Also, try taking your hair down from your ponytail. You can finish getting ready in the bathroom while I dress. Wait for me and we'll go down together." She is pretty excited.

I guess I don't get to see her model the new pink panty and bra set that she bought. Too bad, but I know the ground rules.

In the mirror I see a very attractive girl looking back. My hair keeps getting in my face when it is loose like this so I experiment with rearranging it with the help of a hair clip in back and like what I see.  With the hair pulled at least partially back my new earrings really stand out. I add some mascara and end up looking rather nice, even if I say so myself. It has been less than a week since my 'change' but only now am I beginning to connect with the image in the mirror. I see a pretty girl and am beginning to think of myself as one. Also, I feel a strange sense of pride in looking nice. I've never felt anything quite like this before, but I guess that I never had much to work with and, after all, who cares what a teenage boy looks like? Things are sooo different now that I'm a girl.  I'm starting to realize a whole new set of options and expectations. The scary part is that I am finding the new options and expectations interesting and–dare I say it?–even fun.

When Laurie comes out of the room I go back in to put on my new heels and spend a few minute learning to balance again. Laurie comes to stand by me as we look in the full length mirror mounted on the door. She looks pretty cute. We both do.

"What d'you think, cousin?" she asks.

"You're hot," I say. "Any guy would be happy to be with you. Chris wishes he could be with you right now. He approves of the look. I think that he's worried that you're going to have to beat guys off with a stick tomorrow night. He's just glad he's your boyfriend instead of someone else."

"You're pretty hot yourself, Tina," she points out. "You don't exactly look like a boyfriend right now, you know."

That is a sobering thought. I'm not sure what to make of it. On one hand I want to be her romantic interest–as a boy–but on the other hand, I am having fun being her best friend–as a girl.

"Ready?" she asks, breaking me out of my contemplation before it becomes deep thought.

"Ready!" I say, taking a deep breath as we start down the stairs into the living room. I have to concentrate on the descent as I find that stairs are more difficult to negotiate with heels on.

We are about half way down when the Major lets out a wolf whistle.

"Now this is worth the delay," he says appreciatively. Mom Polly whacks him on the arm as Laurie smiles and I turn a bright red.

"The red goes well with your hair," he observes, earning another whack from his wife.

"You girls look great," Aunt Jen says as she has us do a slow spin. "You both really did a great job shopping today. Those outfits should really get some attention tomorrow. They are a bit much for just an evening at the theatre with friends but it should be fun to do as group. Kris, you will need to practice some more walking in those heels though. I must admit that I am surprised to see you wear a dress like that. I thought that you would go with something more conservative."

"I'm not exactly comfortable in this dress," I point out, "but I think that it looks pretty nice if I try to be objective. It will take some getting used to."

"Did Ashley and her friends put you up to this?" Mom Polly asks. "Those girls tend to push the limits of decency all the time."

"Well, they did influence the decision rather heavily," I respond, "but in the end I agreed that if I were my former self I would have found this outfit very attractive on a girl like I am now so I decided to give a try. I'm not sure if I can be comfortable in it tomorrow or not but with some practice tonight I might be able to survive. Anyway, you should see what the others got. Believe me, this is much more conservative."

"No one will mistake you for boy in that dress," the Major comments approvingly. "If you can pull this off then I have no doubts about your ability to get through your assignment this summer. I am really impressed how far you've come this week, Princess."

Turning to Mom Polly he says, "I'm starting to wish we had a daughter. Another beautiful young woman around here on a regular basis would significantly increase the aesthetic quality of our home."

"I can think of a few other good reasons to have a daughter," she says, "but don't get any ideas now."

Dinner has been waiting for us so we all head into the dinning room to enjoy it. I am reminded to smooth my skirt and keep my knees together as I sit down. Believe me, it is easier to remember to sit in a lady-like way in this dress than in jeans as the fear of indecent exposure is prevalent in my mind.

---< >---

Tonight's video indoctrination is Legally Blonde. The Major decides to join with the group tonight. While the movie is funny somehow I can't see myself ever becoming as girly as Reese Witherspoon does in the film. Heck, it is hard to imagine any girl becoming that girly.  It is just fun spoofy humor aimed at a variety of targets, including women.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror removing my makeup and brushing my teeth as I finish getting ready for bed, I ponder on the past five days. Has is it only been five days? It seems longer than that to me. A lot has happened in those five days.

Has it been bad?

The first few days were somewhat of a shock and pretty intense.  The last couple of days have been busy and educational.  I think I'm grateful that I didn't have too much time to think about the whole issue at first. By the time things slowed to the point where I could contemplate the affair, the concept of being female had been established in my mind.  Now, only five days later, I'm already becoming accustomed to the look and feel of this body and the clothes that go with it. I still need some time on my own to explore it more, but I have a general feel for all the components and where they're located.

Looking in the mirror I see a girl with pretty hair, a heart shaped face with sparkly eyes, a slender–almost delicate–neck, slight shoulders, skinny arms, and a minimal bust. I like what I see. My self image is quickly catching up with what I see when I look in the mirror. I am conscious that there no longer seems to be a significant disconnect between her and me. What I see is me.

Gathering my things, I return to our room to find Laurie brushing her hair as she checks email on the laptop.

Looking up from the screen, she comments, "You look as if you are having deep thoughts. Is everything okay?"

"Yes and no," I reply. "I was just thinking about everything that's taken place in the past five days. It is hard to believe just how much has happened. I'm not sure how I feel about it."

She comes over to give me a hug as we sit on the bed.

"Kris," she says, "I still feel bad about how all this unfolded but I am very impressed with how well you are handling the change. Are you really okay?"

"I think so," I reply, "but I am starting to worry about how natural all this is starting to feel. Take today's shopping trip for example. I only panicked once and even that passed quickly. Before I knew it, I was lost in the search for the perfect outfit without even worrying about whether or not it was the right thing to do. I'm scared that I might be slipping into the role too easily. I'm pretty sure that my self image is starting to match up with my new body. What worries me is that I might even find myself being attracted to boys if things keep up going the way that they are."

"Is that so bad," she asks, "given your current status?"

"But I'm not gay," I state.

"You are now if you are still attracted to girls," she points out. "Tell me, were you attracted to Ashley, Shelly, or Kimi today? After all you saw them wearing some pretty sexy outfits today and they are all very pretty. I also know that you saw all of them only partially clothed at various points throughout the day. I noticed you staring at them more than once. Did they turn you on?"

I have to think about this. Did I find them attractive? The answer to that is sure. They are good looking girls. Was I turned on by them? Not that I can remember, but then I don't know how this body will respond when it gets sexually aroused.

"I think that the girls are all quite good looking," I respond thoughtfully, "but I can't say that I was turned on by them, now that you mention it. I did find them very interesting to look at."

"Maybe your new body is having an impact on your sexual preference," she suggests. "How about me? Do I turn you on now?"

Looking at Laurie, I feel a strong sense of affection, but am I stirred sexually? As much as I have always tried to be the gentleman, I have been stirred by just being around her in the past. Now I sit here in night clothes with her, about to share the same bed, and I am not feeling any sexual stirrings at all. I am still curious to see her undressed, but I now have a pretty good idea of what that looks like from looking at myself. I suspect that if I spend much time around naked and nearly naked girls that I won't notice them any more than I noticed guys in similar situations in my male past.

"I can't say that I am 'turned on' by you right now," I say, "but I feel a strong bond with you and want to be with you more than anyone else. Heck, I don't even know what being turned on means in this body. It is strange, but in many ways I feel closer to you than I did before this all started, but in a different way. I'm afraid that I am losing something special for something else that is special, if that makes any sense."

"Interesting," she observes. "Could it be that your sexual preference is changing? How do you feel about boys? Like the ones we flirted with yesterday."

"You mean the ones that YOU flirted with?" I respond. "Well, I have to admit that I thought that Joey was cute when he got flustered, but only in the same way that a kitten or puppy is cute as they are trying to get their bearings. I don't think that he got my motor running, if you know what I mean. The other two just made me want to gag."

"Did you get any warm feelings?" she asks. "When a girl gets sexually attracted to a guy it starts out as warm feelings that progress to a tingling or sensitivity in the breasts and moistness in the vagina. Did you get any of those feelings?"

"Ah, no," I reply blushing, "not that I know of."

"You know you're pretty cute when you blush? Anyway, you'd have known if you'd gotten moist," she assures me. "That's another reason why we need to carry a spare pair of panties and panty liners around. If you think you're going to get aroused it's a good idea to wear a liner. It's much better than having wet panties."

"I gather that you speak from experience?" I inquire.

It is her turn to blush. "Yes," she responds. "As I said before, girls get sexually aroused too. I've notice you got aroused plenty of times this past year and not always by me. It is more obvious on guys you know. I, like all teenage girls, have gotten aroused plenty of times as my female hormones have flooded my body. The way things are going, I suspect that you just might find out–sooner than later–how a girl feels when she sees a good looking guy. If it happens, don't worry about it. Just blame the hormones and go with it. It is a normal female reaction. I can help talk you through it if you like. When you get back to being Chris, I'm sure that all that testosterone will bring you back to what you are used to but at least you will understand us poor girls better."

"So where does that leave us this summer?" I ask. "I know that I want you to be my girlfriend at the end of all this. It will hurt me a lot if I see you take to another guy, but I can't be your boyfriend this summer looking like this. And what happens if I actually do get attracted to a guy? What will that do to us?"

"I've been thinking about that too," she replies. "Honestly I don't know where we are going this summer. It's new ground for both of us. I only know that I want us to be good friends at the very least when this is finished. Hopefully we can pick up where we left off and continue to grow our girlfriend/boyfriend relationship."

"I guess we'll just have to take it one day at a time," I state as I give her a hug. "No matter what happens, I want us to remain friends above all else."

It is a tender moment unlike any that we've ever shared.

Before going to bed, I log into my email account and what do I find? Another email from Joey! Laurie gives me an I-told-you-so look when I tell her.  He sent the email late in the day and attached another of the pictures taken yesterday. He asks how my day went and if I've found out anything about the race on Saturday.

Ugh!  What do I do? I decide to ignore it for the time being. I feel bad to be ignoring someone who is trying to be friendly, but Laurie has me concerned that Joey is looking for more than just a friend. Maybe if I send him a thank you email late tomorrow he'll take the hint that I'm not interested in establishing a romantic relationship. Why can't we just be buddies?

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Gabi edits again... Thank You!

 

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It's becoming clearer..

If you want to flirt with a guy though, don't worry, I won't get jealous. I know Chris'll be back at the end of the summer and, somehow, I don't see Tina stealing my Chris from me."

The above line was used by Laurie at least for the previous 2 chapters. From the start, she was putting forward a brave front that this was all just temporary and that Chris would be 'returned'.

I think Kris always knew it wasn't temporary and that anything they told each other was as much to convince themselves as it was meant to reassure the other.

Now we get this exchange:

"So where does that leave us this summer?" I ask. "I know that I want you to be my girlfriend at the end of all this. It will hurt me a lot if I see you take to another guy, but I can't be your boyfriend this summer looking like this. And what happens if I actually do get attracted to a guy? What will that do to us?"

(the underlined is the most blunt admission to date by Kris to Laurie, that Chris isn't returning, otherwise why worry about having a boyfriend? Laurie's already stated that she didn't mind if Kris became interested in boys and if Chris did return, by the storyline's logic, any boyfriend Kris might of had would be 'forgotten' by Chris as the 'male wiring' of the brain restored his attraction to girls.

Bets that Kris' boyfriend will turn out to be Joey?)

"I've been thinking about that too," she replies. "Honestly I don't know where we are going this summer. It's new ground for both of us. I only know that I want us to be good friends at the very least when this is finished. Hopefully we can pick up where we left off and continue to grow our girlfriend/boyfriend relationship."

(For the first time, Laurie is vocalizing her resignation that Chris won't return ... something she may have known from 'day 1' when Kris arrived in Alaska. Laurie was aprehensive about how Kris would view her even then. Why? Maybe because she knew there was no turning back for Kris?

Certainly everytime she told herself and Kris, that Chris would return, it didn't come across as if she believed it herself. Tiff also mentioned that Laurie did feel guilty about holding things back from Kris. Question is, what things? This??)

"I guess that we'll just have to take it one day at a time," I state as I give her a hug. "No matter what happens, I want us to remain friends above all else."

(The resignation of the two that Kris Jeffers is here to stay?)

PB

I have been abandoned by myself

kristina l s's picture

Nice wry line. The emotional play is nice, that slight befuddlement and pinch of fear and while we might worry about Chris a little it's nice to see Kris begin to get a handle on things. Not sure I see all the foreshadowing PB does, more a play it by ear and see how we go idea I think. You have to play the hand ya's dealt and even if we might ponder just what that hand is here, it's still up in the air I think.... 'course I could be wrong.

Kristina

I could be wrong, but...

... think about it. Tiff has been putting clues, subtle, yet clues, that when placed into a puzzle, SEEM to the indicate a chain of events.

... the convienient compartmentalization of knowledge within the Labs

... the way Chris has been recruited and treated vs the advanced knowledge that the principals were freely able to share with others (Jen informing the Jeffers of Kris a year prior to her arrival in Alaska and even Marta was clued in to events prior to the inital change, not to mention Laurie's involvement as much as eight months prior to the initial change). She's finally felt a need to apologize for the treatment Kris had recieved.

It would seem the concept of security only invloved keeping the information from Chris and it still is. Even Polly seems more clued in than 'her daughter'.

...Back when Kris first arrived in Alaska, was the only stated reason Laurie was aprehensive of Kris' reaction to her because of her now-known role in his recruitment, or did she know that once he was 'locked-in' - as Kris' appearence proved - there was effectively no more Chris and she felt responsible?

... As I said before, Tiff has mentioned that Laurie is feeling guilty for holding things back. How much has she figured out? Back in the early chapters, Amanda admitted to Kris, that Laurie figured out much more than they realised, on her own. Even they weren't sure how much, though. Question now is "how much has Kris figured out?"

... Dr. Quinn even admitted it was 'originally' an experiment, when challenged by Kris and using the word 'experiment' to describe what happened. True, Major Jeffers discovered a leak while in Afganistan, but there are other ways/agencies to better investigate, rather than using 'innocents/minors' with little-to-no training on surviving in the cloak n' dagger world. I think at this point, the 'mission' is a cover told the kids and that it's really an 'experiment' with Chris as the 'het' male human-test subject.

... Amanda is (admittedly, by circumstancial evidence) the 'wizard' who did the changes and has planned the experiment. She was the only one to have the unlimited access to Chris needed to effect the changes.

... Also during the initial change, the storyline had Dr. Quinn was 'asleep' on the couch & didn't even stir with all the commotion of other people man-handling her past him and out to a waiting vehicle to take a comotose Kris to the store for her initial midnight shopping? Sounds like Amanda helped him to sleep so soundly.
She admitted to Kris that part of the change process was to induce a comotose-like sleep prior to the 'spell'. Was the same induced sleep used for applying the admitted mental-conditioning (to help him cope with the initial change) and controling Dr. Quinn? I still find it curious the way he first supported Chris going to camp, then suddenly opposed it an fell into line with this 'mission' story.
Amanda admitted that after the initial change, she planted some mental conditioning to make the experiance appear as a fogged dream to Chris. Same thing happened to Dad? Amanda shares the same bed... how easy is that?

... At the hotel she told Kris that "You should be honoured" and "You are the first...". Did she mean Kris was the first to be 'locked-in' for an extended period or'the first to be locked-in'! Either way, it sounds nmore like the comments of a scientist trying to justify an experiment to a human test subject.
She also has been the most knowledgeable when it came to explaining details of the change to Kris when asked about the finality of the mental changes.

... Why has the laptop Kris was given, have GPS and a recording/mic feature that is active even when it appears the laptop is off? Susan told Kris this wasn't to go to the office (ie: stay in her room). Nice way to monitor Kris' 'female' evolution when she thinks she has private time.
Susan also told Kris her cell calls would be monitored - nice! They can't wait to hear evidence that Kris is mentally evolving to be completely female when she talks to friends.

... Is Laurie's job to 'mentor' Kris and help her become all she can be, or that and to observe her? Even if she is unaware of it, all she has to do is casually open up to her mom who takes it all back to those observing the 'experiment'.

... Now to the 'mission'.
At the hotel, Amanda explained to Kris that the reason they needed a male for the change was that they required a male mind in a female body to allow them to ignore the advances from the predominatly male population at the Labs and focus on the intell gathering. She further explained that the presence of a girl would be more readily accepted by the men. She also spun a story on how his male mind
would be retained.
In the previous chapter on the cruise, Kris functioned as advertised, seeing through the two boys who focused their attention on Laurie. Laurie even later admitted in the bedroom, she felt Kris was a lesbian because Chris' male mind was still present. Kris admitted to getting moist from seeing her, hence the 'ground rules' suggested
by Laurie.
What about the whole rationale for Laurie to think of Kris as Tina, a GG? It's almost(?) as if it's another calculated move, likely prompted by Jen, to condition Kris to accept herself as a GG and to leave Chris/Kris in the past - Chris being the old male and Kris being the transition.
Even with talking to Tom, Kris' feelings were mixed but it was still relating to him as someone with an interest in the outdoors.
Now in this chapter, Kris is admitting she may like boys? Doesn't that negate the original idea of retaining Chris' 'het' male mind? If Kris likes boys, won't that make her just a suceptable to advances as a girl and influence his ability to focus on his intell gathering function?

... Originally, Kris was to be a tom-boy with no mention of sexual-orientation. In fact, requiring Chris' 'het' male mind implied they expected Kris to be a lesbian. Then suddenly at the safehouse, Susan changed the requirements to involve befriending the kids of the 'alleged' suspects, including two boys and the
idea of dating.
I think the 'suspects' that Susan showed Kris on the laptop during the flight to Alaska, are actually the other parties that have an interest in observing Kris as the human-test subject and bringing their kids into the project, although unsuspecting, would afford them the opportunity to observe Kris in 'her natural habitat'. With Kris focusing on watching the 'suspects', she would make herself more available to be observed by them.

... Attempts have been made to mentally separate Kris from the Quinns. Why insist she can't think if them as her parents or address them other than as non-family, even when alone in a room? Why did Amanda introduce her husband to Kris in the hotel room, as if they've never met? The three of them were the only ones there. For that matter, why insist on treating the Mercer's and Jeffers as family when alone? Notice how Laruie is now making a conscience effort to reinforce the 'cousin' idea to Kris or is that to herself?

... Another question, is why the time in Alaska meeting the Jeffers? You could argue it's to set the foundation of the cover story. That has some validity to it, but it also could easily be to introduce/train Kris to accept her new family.

... The Major was taken aback when he first heard Kris' story because it was totally different from what they obviously were told by Jennifer and that it wasn't voluntary according to Kris. Now in this chapter, after seeing Kris model her outfit, he's backing the Labs' idea of the 'mission'.
In fact both he and Polly are now verbalizing thoughts of having a daughter and how he'd like to keep Kris if they could. That to me, foreshadows quite a bit.

Of course, all this conjecture is subject to Tiff's imagination, but it's fun to read a story (especially one that has this much attention), to competion and see how close you were.

PB

Why can't we just be buddies?

Why can't we just be buddies?...Because your a girl and he's a boy!.... The time is fast coming when Tina will wake up to the fact that with female hormones now running amok in her body, Boys will just seem...well...more interesting!!!!...

Kirri

Why does the question need be asked?

Although you have a point, it only validates the 'experiment' theory. Kris was told at the hotel, that his male mind would be safely retained while rewiring took place because that was the pivotal requirement of the mission, yet we see it's not.

One can only conclude from that is that it was never a mission critical requirement becuse the 'mission' doesn't exist except for Chris.

At this point, it looks as if Amanda has only lied to her own child, about this whole thing, all in an effort to deceive him and get him to go along with her 'experiment'. That is to take a normal 'het' male, with no TS/TG tendancies and effect a 100% change to a normal 'het' female, for whatever reasons.

This 'experiment' might even be on-going long after the summer. Kris/Tina may possibly be in 'fish-bowl' and observed 24/7 for as long as she has any contact, family or otherwise, that has a connection to the Labs.

Assuming Tina remains a Jeffers, Polly (Jen's sister) can keep watch for Jen, who will concievably pass along any observations to Amanda or other interested parties in the Labs' organization.

If Amanda fulfills Chris' 'last' request, she can keep watch on Kris herself....

There is only one thing Tiff hasn't had Amanda address, comment on or consider ... yet(the 'last' request).

In the hotel, thinking things may 'go south' and he couldn't return, Chris told his mom that he wanted to remain a Quinn after the summer was over (when he thinks his 'mission' would be over and Kris Jeffers would cease to exist) - female, but a Quinn nontheless, providing his 'return' didn't put him back mentally and physically exactly as he was prior to any of the changes. We'll have to read on to see what Tiff has in store.

Remember, Chris was vitrually abducted by his own mother and forced into this. Although she verbably asked him if he would go through with the 'mission' (another lie), it was done at such a time in the final transformation process that 'he' was backed into a corner and left no free choice in the matter, if indeed his 'yes' answer was even remotely his own.

(In this chapter, even Laurie has acknowledged that she has guilt feelings about this and 'apologised' to Kris. At this point, from her conversation to Kris, I believe she was also fully aware from the very start, that she would loose Chris to Tina ... as intended)

Amanda's completely and effortlessly... too effortlessly IMO, distanced herself from any parental/maternal feelings and insisted Kris treat the Quinns as non-family, 24/7 even when it's only the two of them - an effort (as I see it at this point) not so much for security and to prevent any public 'embarssment', but rather to condition Kris so that she will no longer think she ever was a Quinn.

She's even carried on an act as a loving/caring mother, with her son for the year or more of planning this 'experiment' and then suddenly turned on him and sacrificed him knowing full well the outcome of her efforts.

Again at this point, I feel that in the end, events will show that she knowingly destroyed her son's chance at life and permanently gave up that child to another family in a totally different and undesired life...for the sake of her 'questionable work'.
Not too far removed from the concept of human-trafficing if indeed it is an 'experiment' and Chris Quinn has been (against his free will) permanently replaced by Tina (Kris) Jeffers, and thus will remain with the Jeffers.

If 'Tina' returns as a Quinn after the summer, I recind the human-trafficing connection. If Chris returns after the summer, I amend my premature-conclusions to say it was a summer-long 'experiment'.

I still hold that any results of Chris/Kris/Tina's involvement with the Labs that fall within the idea of a 'mission' (ie: ID'ing any bad guys-if they exist) are a total bonus for the 'experiment' and were not the intended results.

My current views are subject to change of course, depending how Tiff decides the story will unfold. However, they've remained virtually unchanged since the start and I will be the first to admit I was wrong in my conjecture, if that's the way the story unfolds.

It's a sign of a good combination of writing and imagination, if a story generates emotion from a reader...

PB

But _IF_ That's the Experiment....

(and if I recall correctly, it is, unless they're lying in claiming nobody's ever been changed for any significant length of time before) then they don't know how it's going to turn out, and they may well hope that Chris and his male-hetero orientation return after the project ends. The new ability is useful either way, but more so, I think, if it's reversible: doing it to one's own spies, you'd want them to be able to switch back when the case was done (or in case a "good guy" tried to assassinate the spy under the assumption that he was the person he was impersonating). Previous experiments on animals could give them a clue, but if I remember right, they claimed that there hadn't even been long-term animal studies.

Anyway, unless they're lying about the lack of precedent, they'd need contingency plans for both alternatives, and I don't really see anything (yet) telling us that they couldn't accept the existence of either Tina Jeffers or Chris Quinn afterwards, whichever comes out of this. I'm inclined to doubt that Laurie knows any more on this point than Chris/Tina does, but if she's sincere in her attraction to Chris, then she's now quite aware that she needs to consider both contingencies herself.

Eric

Wait a sec...

Anyway, unless they're lying about the lack of precedent, they'd need contingency plans for both alternatives, and I don't really see anything (yet) telling us that they couldn't accept the existence of either Tina Jeffers or Chris Quinn afterwards, whichever comes out of this.

That 'they' couldn't accept the existence of either Tina Jeffers or Chris Quinn? What about the Lab-rat - namely Kris?

So far in the story, I think there've been more clues/dialogue leaning toward the Jeffers 'expecting' Kris to remain with them, so right now, that appears to be the direction things are heading in.

I know Chris/Kris did initially make a request to his mom at the hotel, to remain a Quinn after the project was over, even if it meant that it was as Kristine Quinn.

However, given what (s)he now knows or feels she knows, about the actions of the Quinns despite all their loving parental words over the last year... Kris feels really betrayed by everyone, including all the Quinn's, with Amanda and Dr. Quinn at the top of the list.

How are the Quinn's (less Tiffany) going to amend things with 'Kristine Quinn' to the point that she can confidently accept them as the loving family Chris thought they were, instead of feeling so paranoid around them, that she can't trust any action or uttered words that eminate from these people ever again.

(particularily her mom ... who's to say she's not going to covertly continue the 'experiment' with Kris once she's back under her roof? For that matter, even if Chris returned, I'm sure Amanda would love to continue the 'experiment' without Chris' knowledge, but now looking at long-term observation of a test subject who has returned to their former self following a long-term transformation)

OTOH, if Kris remained with the Jeffers (her name is still Kristine on her documentation, so that's how I'll refer to her), the paranoia would still be there. The 'experiment' could well be on-going with Amanda or her team, still dreaming up 'hoops to jump through' and relaying the tasks via Jennifer to Polly. Observations of said tasks could then be fed back to the 'Wizards', just reversing the line of communication.

I don't think, at this point, Kris feels she can trust any of the Jeffers any more than the Quinns.

Then we have Ashley and her friends (bimbos?).

On the positive side, there is Joey - if he abides by Kris' rules and stays a friend or at least mirrors the platonic relationship Chris had with Laurie.

So I guess the question is, would Chris/Kris feel 'safe' with either family? As long as a path back to the Labs could be traced, I'd be inclined to say 'no... "Once burned, twice shy..."

I'm inclined to doubt that Laurie knows any more on this point than Chris/Tina does, but if she's sincere in her attraction to Chris, then she's now quite aware that she needs to consider both contingencies herself.

I have a feeling that despite the serious bedroom conversation re sexual-orientation and arousal, that Kris is still lesbian and she still has feelings for Laurie. Their conversation doesn't prove much except it's not often you get aroused by the opposite sex, on demand - which is effectively what Laurie's questions were asking. The serious nature of the conversation didn't help matters either.

I wouldn't be surprised if Laurie is a lesbian and the platonic relationship she had with Chris was as far as she could be comfortable with a male. 'They' obviously felt safe requesting her to pretend to befriend the two male candidates. It's just that no one foresaw Laurie falling for Chris 'the person'.

I suggest that by keeping her true orientation hidden, Laurie's hedging her bets.

If she shows that she's lesbian and Chris returns, what then? She still likes the guy, but as a person and being a 'het' male, Chris would walk! She looses....

If Kris remains (either Jeffers or Quinn), Laurie could easily 'come out'. They both win ... they would still have each other.

So in that regard, I think she's been considering 'both contingincies' all along....

But until Kris makes a decision on her return, we won't know for sure. However, Tiff's occassional description of her body language when around Kris might provide subtle hint's - or maybe I'm reading too much into it?

PB

In agreement

I'm in agreement with PB's reasoning, and concerned for Chris's wellbeing. Not 'Kris', or 'Tina', Chris. I wouldn't give you a wooden nickel for anybody else in this cast of evil, including the Major and his family.

K


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

PB and Karen have it, maybe

PB's may be a lunatic fringe/conspiracy theory of plot analysis but it’s a good one.

-- snicker --

I have a few questions as I join the *lunatic fringe*TM. One, PB I think, mentioned previously Chris/Kris/Tina was told that there was a chance she/he could not be restored to his old body. Where was that, what chapter? I can’t find it but then I didn’t search for long. I wonder along with PB has anyone been restored before – though her was for a short while, and has anyone been restored after being *fixed* in another body for months at a time? If they can’t restore him or have lied, SHE deserves payback, SERIOUS payback. I’d say use the magic on those who most abused her, stick them in bodies not of their own choosing and manipulate their minds. The explanation he/she was given that increasingly girly mannerisms and actions prior to the second transformation was his subconscious mind making sense and integrating the experiences of the first transformation. I'm sorry but that seems a lie or at least suspect. I suspect magic or hypnosis, whatever was used on him all week to get him susceptible to agreeing. She was *under the influence* when she agreed to be *fixed*, thus it was never voluntary. If she is successfully restored she should strongly consider kissing most or all of these people goodbye and live his own life as her friends and family have proven to be unethical liars at worst or dupes at best.

I wonder, is it like a drug of sorts, this transformation? Will the multiple times it was done to him and the long time he will be a she cause him to spontaneously change back to a woman after he is restored and eventually be one most or all of the time? Remember this is a superior woman’s body she has been given, based on the genetic attributes of multiple women. Is it possible one or more of the donors is/are from the *witches* that transformed her? She may develop her own magical power, perhaps serious powers far greater than them combined, a synergy effect of all those custom chosen traits and that may make a transformation back to her old male body and mindset all but impossible.

I do know that his time as a girl must by necessity affect his personality/mannerisms/interactions with others and such for a long time and longer if she is assaulted/harmed/shot as a woman. My god, can you imagine what it would be for her to be date raped or assaulted? It will take time for her to be fully convincing as a girl, it likewise must take time to undo the female though patterns and mannerisms upon her successful restoration to a boy.

I agree with Karen, few if any of the people in her/his life are to be trusted. I fear her father has been manipulated as has her sister and the mom? As to Laurie’s mom … lets say few if any involved in the experiment/mission, if there really is one, have been ethical. They will have to do a lot of explaining at the end and a lot of redemptive acts to ever earn Chris’s trust.

As to Laurie, maybe she really did come to love him and still does, thus the feelings of guilt for having deceived Chris she seems to be projecting. If that is true and they can’t change him back, IE they lied, or say one or more of the *witches* is killed and they can’t change her back, perhaps they could make Laurie into a clone of Chris and alter Tina/Kris into more of Laurie’s appearance, but with the enhanced body traits retained, so that *he* could father children with *Laurie*

Have fun with this story and take the road well traveled, IE Chris is stuck as a girl but give it a fresh twist or travel the road not well traveled and restore him. Or blaze your own path. If this really is a mission and just the powers that be are a bit inept and panicky, thus the inconsistencies in their actions, they will owe Chris big-time. Remember Ocham's Razor(?) that "the simplest explanation is often true" and by extension "don't attribute to malice what can easily be explained as ineptitude." I could see him as an agent, often but not always in female form as his/her experience this summer should make her/him a fine agent if he/she has any talent for it.

Great stuff. Lord knows if any of our guesses are close.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

My answer to that is...

One, PB I think, mentioned previously Chris/Kris/Tina was told that there was a chance she/he could not be restored to his old body. Where was that, what chapter?

John... It was always implied tha Chris could physically return, but in Amanda's hotel explanation during the final change, the question arose of Chris' mental restoration. At that time, Amanda admitted that this was an unknown area. That's why Kris asked to remain a Quinn and only to return to being female if the reversal left the male Chris behaving/thinking more female than male.

There was also the reader's question "has anybody been 'locked-in' before? From Amanda's own comments, no one had gone longer than the 4hr temp change. Now whether she meant no temp change had gone longer than 4hrs or no one's been 'locked-in', is up to the reader to answer. Personally, I think Amanda implied being 'locked-in' works in theory!

She claimed all they would need do to return Chris was to 'unlock' him and he would naturally revert to Chris (I guess being the body's default DNA?). Remember, they had to make a separate visit to an already changed Kris in the hotel to 'lock' her in.

I agree with Karen, few if any of the people in her/his life are to be trusted.

EVRYBODY has betrayed Chris' trust - Mom, Jennifer, Laurie, Susan (he knew her through her son who was on the cross-country team with Chris), Marta and to a small extent, Dad. I didn't include the Major and his family in that list because they only know Kris, not Chris... so there was no obvious act of betrayal.

I also think Dad has been 'conditioned' by Amanda

(yes, I'm holding fast to my assumption she's the principal 'Wizard' and planner of his experiment. I think the story implied tht it took 2 'Wizards' to perform the change and certainly there are multiple bodies around for each change. However, mom is always the common denominator at each change.

I also believe mom explained the transformation process a bit at the hotel. First the subject needs to be asleep and then is placed in a comatose-like deep sleep, followed by a separate action(s) resulting in the transformation, 'conditioning' or whatever. Another separate action was required to 'lock-in' Kris).

Possibly the only one untouched by all to this is Chris' older sister Tiffany. At the time she was employed at a summer job off at her College and so wouldn't have been considered to be brought into the conspirisy. She did arrive home unexpectedly, but even if she (or Marta)was up early enough to see Chris leave, they'd have only have seen Chris (the replacement 'Chris') with her Dad.

Marta was only brought in because they needed her help and her connection with the store, to stage the midnight shopping trip.

They will have to do a lot of explaining at the end and a lot of redemptive acts to ever earn Chris’s trust.

At the safehouse, when the kids had the talk by the lake, Kris as much told Laurie in blunt terms that she felt she'd betrayed her and had a long way to go to regain that trust.

As for the story... time will tell where Tiff takes us.

PB

Chris continues to die and while Tina is born and developed.

RAMI

While Tiff, may hold many surprises for us, it appears that Chris is dying and being fully reborn as Tina.

This shopping episode only tends to confirm this. Chris and Laurie are new to the area and so do not know any of the girls their age. Who does the Alaska family set them up with, not some nice modest girls that Chris as Christina could feel safe and comfortable around, but four girls who are into boys, acting and dressing provocatively, and who knows what else. It is there mission to make Christina become more sexy and more girly, to become truly Tina. The Alaska family could easily have asked the girls to try and help their tomboy relative to become more girly without harming the so called mission.

All of the family seem to be happy that Chris is transitioning to Tina in a timely manner.

What will happen on the date tomorrow? Will Tina fall for some hunk of a boy? Will there be any sex (broad definition)? What will that do to Chris' male psyche. Destroy it for once and for all?

I guess the next chapters will tell, but I agree that all of the other characters appear to be in on the destruction of Chris. Why? What is the real reason?

Rami

RAMI

Another good point...

Who does the Alaska family set them up with, not some nice modest girls that Chris as Christina could feel safe and comfortable around, but four girls who are into boys, acting and dressing provocatively, and who knows what else.

I agree Rami on your two main points.

One... Chris is dying. He was rejected and murdered by his own mother, sacrificed so that Tina could be born, developed and molded according to specifications prepared in the Labs.

The phrase 'identity death' has been used in comments for another story. I suggest that also applies here. Chris had his life forcefully ripped out from under him - unexplicably terminated ... removed from his past, a promising future and his family (the Quinns) and is now in the process of being re-molded into another existance with another past(?) and family (the Jeffers). Why?

Two .... I have a strong feeling (like you) that Ashley was brought into the picture to 'guide' Tina's development with exposure to a specific behaviour and a teen shopping trip and date (you don't really believe Tina won't be matched up with a boy, by Ashely and her boy-crazy friends, do you - despite what Tom said?).

I think the suggestion was initiated by Jennifer, but executed through her sister Polly. It's only logical she made the contact as she knows Ashely the best.

I hesitate to catagorize Ashley and her friends as bimbos, but it seems all they're interested in is sex and boys, even to the point of participating in activities (ie: swim team) just to get a boy and to look down on anyone who doesn't share that attitude (questioning her less-than-slutty taste in clothes or why Kris runs because it's not a way to get boys.

Is this a deliberate part of Tina's development to 'ween' Kris from her running and her other 'guy' interests (as a part of the past her 'handlers' want to eliminate) and replace it with a preoccupation with sex and boys? Sounds about right....

But I wonder... why are all these 'outsiders' to the Labs, readily agreeing to this? Is Jennifer applying some of the Wizard's manipulative tricks.

I believe it was in the initial intro or early on, anyway that Tiff mentioned the Wizards were a development team at the Labs that took magic as practiced and made it so a non-practitioner could apply them - like maybe a field-operative like Jennifer?

Look at the list of non-Labs, low-to-no-security-clearence, personnel they've used so far on this 'classified' and 'secret' project ...

(surely they've had to supply some project background so the kids knew what to do and how best to achieve it... even Marta and Laurie were filled in about, and allowed to view, the transformation and I doubt either one has security clearence)

Laurie, Marta, Ashely(?) who used her friends, Polly and probably Tom (I don't think his description of the 'date' is correct but rather a planned attempt to ease any apprehension Kris has and I can't see him as being excempt from any 'outside influence' the rest of the family may have encountered).

Also, even though they have a security clearence and Dr. Quinn works for the Labs, both 'Dads' have seemed to switch their opinions on this affair, rather abruptly as well.

The Major did make a comment earlier upon Kris' arrival at the airfield about how he could get to like having a daughter... but now , both Polly and the Major are now openly talking about how nice it would be to have a daughter (hint, hint).

PB

Flirting

I have three or four genetic girl friends, and more than once have been told by them that I flirt outrageously! I am so totally not aware of it; thinking that I am just being nice. I can really see Kris's problem so clearly. There are a couple guys that I have really felt attracted to but they have not persued me. Maybe just need to do a little more chumming ya know. :) Of course, there is the problem of them "finding out".

Kris's dilima is so clear. Nice job.

Gwendolyn

Analysis

I like the ongoing internal debate within Chris's brain - it's interesting that whereas a few chapters ago the 'external' bit of the brain was starting to accept the femininity whilst "Brain Central" was panicking. Now it's starting to reverse - "Brain Central" is starting to accept the femininity whilst the "external" brain questions "Brain Central"'s decisions...

After skimming through one of PB's analyses, I've decided to skip any others - they're very detailed and seem to be pushing the view that Kris is 100% certain to stay, come what may. Personally, I prefer not to take the conspiracy theory line - there is still a (possibly small) chance that Chris will either have the chance to revert at the end of the espionage operation or have the choice (or at least, the illusion of choice, since it's fairly likely that if the means to revert is destroyed before the end of the operation, they'll tweak things until they're 99% certain he'll want to stay as Kris).

However, given the delays and last minute changes to the gameplan, it's possible (and possibly even probable) that the espionage operation will continue beyond the summer - and of course, the longer Chris spends as Kris, the greater the chances he'll stay in his new body (hopefully via the illusion of choice - possibly having it revealed that for one reason or another he can't be reverted).

-oOo-

Having said all that, bear in mind this story is still a work in progress (or at least, it still was at this point in time). Tiffany might not have plotted the endgame yet, so if we can conceive of alternative endgames to PB's dire predictions, Tiffany will have a choice and may not be unduly influenced by a single point of view :)

 
 
--Ben


This space intentionally left blank.

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Laurie And Kriss

Need to dfine their relationship, and their sexual preference.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Fridge Horror

Daphne Xu's picture

I'm partway through the speculative plot analysis in the comments, and a certain aspect has horrifying implications. If it's really true that nobody had been transformed for an extended period, then it's up in the air what it might do with Chris's body, whoever she may be. Her body would probably become seriously scrambled, killing her. And if this is the first time, he is the experiment, and the thing about leaks to Afghanistan a cover story. They'd never use a body that might die any minute to smoke out a critical leak.

I wouldn't be surprised if the author took some later elements from these speculations.

How often do parents intentionally sacrifice their children to a particular cause? It sounds like the ultimate betrayal. Of course, I've heard of parents in a particular religion ignorantly and stupidly sacrificing their child to the religious cause, but they honestly believe that it would help their child. I've also heard of approving talk (particularly in the Civil War) of sacrificing one's sons for their side of the war. And of course, if they truly believe in heaven and that their children would go their, they wouldn't mind too much their children's deaths. But would they sacrifice their children to Hell for any reason?

Here, I suspect that Chris's parents (the Quinns) got caught up in things sufficiently slowly (like a slowly boiling frog) they found themselves seemingly caught -- they had to do it.

-- Daphne Xu

-- Try saying freefloating three times rapidly.

I've always felt

Being gay or being trans was not a choice. Poor Kris is going to find that out the hard way.