Dickybow (aka Bike) Part 646 by Angharad |
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“Trish, please don’t let me hear you talk like that again.” I gently admonished her, although in my heart I knew she’d verbalised what I’d felt.
“But you said it earlier, Mummy.”
“I know sweetheart, and I shouldn’t have; so I’m telling you not to, okay?”
“Okay,” she said blushing and looking perplexed. I took her hand and we walked into the school. Trish spotted her friend, Peaches, and ran over to see her and I spotted the woman from the Range Rover.
I approached the Sloane Ranger, clad in her Hunter wellies and Barbour jacket, although there wasn’t a scrap of mud on her car, there was more on mine. She was talking on her mobile presumably having deposited little Tamsin into the capable hands of the teacher.
“Excuse me, is that your Range Rover?” I asked politely but firmly.
“Yah, I’m on the phone…” she looked at me as if I’d just crawled out from under a stone.
“I was just about to get out of my car when you pulled alongside,” I said bristling.
“Yah, so? Sorry, dahling, one of the proles is complaining about something. Look, I don’t need any cleaners, so fack off. Sorry, dahling, where was I?...”
My gast was flabbered and I was close to Vesuvius point, the magma was at explosive levels, but I hadn’t yet given way to my legendary rhetorical skills and smacked her one.
“How dare you? You ignorant lout.” I felt like saying a great deal more but as I felt people gathering to watch, I moderated my fishwife’s tongue, not wanting to embarrass either Trish or myself.
“Later, dahling, the peasant is revolting,” she spat into her phone and was about to square up to me, possibly to take a swing, when the headmistress intervened.
“Lady Cameron, Mrs Browne-Coward, is there a problem, ladies?” The look on the woman’s face as the headmistress addressed me as Lady C, was almost worth the spat. She coloured up and stepped back.
“Yes, I was asking this person to park more carefully,” I said looking at the headmistress.
“Huh! I have to go, Headmistress,” Mrs Browne-Coward said curtly and stormed away.
I waited for her to get out of earshot, the adrenaline was still pumping and although it was anything but ladylike, I’d have loved to kick her arse for her. “Ooh, that woman!” I said through my teeth.
“You look rather upset, Lady C, would you like to come to my office for a moment and have a cup of tea?”
“I really should be getting home, Headmistress.”
“Please, I insist, this way.” She led me through the school and along the corridor to her office, asking her secretary to make us a cup of tea as we went in.
“I’m sure you have far more important things to do than entertain me?” I said feeling guilty.
“Lady Cameron, at this moment, you are all that matters.”
“I’m fine–really, and I’m not Lady anything yet.”
“I know very well, who you are, my dear, I just wanted that awful woman to know she wasn’t going to be able to trample over you. She does tend to think she is terribly important.”
“I’d never have guessed,” I said smirking and feeling a bit better.
“Ah here’s our tea, thanks, Jenny,” she said to the secretary.
“Thank you,” I echoed and got a smile for my pains.
“Unfortunately, her daughter is likely to turn out the same. She tends to throw her weight about a little, too.”
“I hope she doesn’t do anything to Trish,” I said anxiously.
“Don’t worry, we’ll keep an eye on her.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly, “I’m sorry to cause all this bother.”
“No trouble at all, do you take milk?”
“Please, not too strong for me.” I took the cup she offered me, “thanks.” I sipped the hot fluid, it was quite a good tea. “Nice tea,” I complimented her.
“Twinings,” she replied.
“Breakfast Tea?”
“You know it?”
“I should. My mother used to buy it.”
“Good taste obviously runs in your family.”
“I don’t think so, except in matters bicycle.”
“Oh come now, Lady Cameron…” I was about to correct her again, when she raised her hand to quiet me. “…you are rather elegantly dressed for the school run.”
I hadn’t even noticed what I was wearing, I’d rushed from the moment of waking until now. I glanced down, everything was a Stella cast off, my Chanel jacket hid a silk top which was made by some Italian designer or other and my jeans were CK’s.
I blushed, it was very well coordinated, all reasonably close shades of blue, which was why I grabbed it all in haste from my wardrobe. If I’d told the truth she wouldn’t have believed me, so I changed the subject. “Who was the woman with whom I had the spat?”
“Mrs Browne-Coward?” I nodded, “Her husband owns a few garden centres and does very well from them by all accounts. He sends me bedding plants every year at a reduced price, which he seems to think will prevent me from suspending his loathsome daughter.”
“If you do hang her, I’ll pay for the rope,” I joked, feeling much better.
“Tempting though it might be, I must rise above such thoughts, it’s far from Christian.”
“Still, the offer holds,” I said winking, and the headmistress laughed.
“How is little Trish settling in?”
“As far as I know, she’s doing quite well, although she did have a bit of a run in with Mrs Cranmer.”
“Yes, Mrs Cranmer told me. She is a treasure, one of the best reception class teachers I’ve ever met. She is most impressed with your Trish.”
I beamed like any doting parent would, and felt so good about everyone, especially this woman to whom I was talking. “I’m glad they seem to have resolved their differences.”
“Oh, indeed they have. I’m expecting great things from your Trish–no pressure, of course.” Just as I swallowed hard, she laughed. “The look on your face was priceless.”
“What?”
“Seriously, I suspect your girl is one of the brightest in the school at the moment, so keeping her engaged is going to pose some challenges.”
“It is?”
“Yes, bright kids, especially girls, get naughty if they aren’t constantly tested or engaged, or they shut up shop and drop out.”
“Goodness, I hope Trish doesn’t do either of those. Sometimes I think being very clever is a curse.”
“It could be, but we’ll do our best for her, and hopefully in a few months we’ll have assessed her more thoroughly and can then plan for her needs.”
“Thank you, that sounds splendid,” I put the cup down on the tray, “I have to rush back and take my sister in law somewhere.”
“Do take care, Lady Cameron, and be careful of Mrs Browne-Coward, she can be a nasty piece of work.”
“I’m quite capable of taking care of myself,” I said, thinking I needed to do some more kickbox training.
“So I hear, Lady Cameron, so I hear.”
Comments
Brown-Coward sounds like a
Brown-Coward sounds like a real "piece of work", who tries to demean anyone she comes in contact with. Glad the Headmistress came to Cathy's assistance in such a clever way.
Sounds like Trish is going to keep the teachers at the school on their toes dealing with her.
J-Lynn
How now Brown-Coward?
Hee hee. I really like your name choices - almost up to Gabi's corny selections, which are equally intriguing. I think if someone had parked that close to me I'd accidentally on purpose swing the door out so it made a little scratch. But then I'm not a great protector of my/our cars.
Geoff
PS For Transponders (copyright Angharad) who may not know, there's a rhyme used by elocution teachers "How now Brown Cow? Grazing in the soft green grass." It's used to teach 'correct' vowel sounds, which, as our writer now knows, is not one of my traits.
Elocution
I went to elocution classes with a ghastly and rather crusty old (well she seemed old when I was 7) woman called Miss Pringle. Not only did we have to recite How Now Brown Cow—“Make sure you make beautiful ROUND Vowels, dear,†but we also had other classics like Around the Ragged Rock the Ragged Rascal Ran “Now, children, let me hear you R-r-r-r-roll those R-r-r-rs!â€
Today we might say she takes the biscuit—or should that be crispy potato snack?
I wonder if little Miss Browne-Cow takes elocution? Does anyone these days?
Gabi
Gabi.
I recall one of those...
phrases - in a Spanish Class... We had to say it sooo often I still - 35 years later - can't forget it. "Rosco Rodruguez robo el ferricaril rapidamente" (My spelling could be off...) But, it was to help us learn to hear and produce the single and double R sound in spanish. I got pretty good at it, but some in the class never managed to make the Rs sound different. Similar is true in English. Some people learn to speek easily. Some have to work HARD and some never do.
The best example (I've ever heard) about learning to speak well is the actor James Earl Jones... As I understand it, he had a very sever stutter growing up. An English teacher (High School or Uni - I don't recall which) discovered his love of poetry, and using that, was able to help him work past the stutter, and today his voice is a pleasure (for many) to listen to...
How Now, Browne-Cow…
Obviously a prime example of the species Mater Chelseatractoria! Hubby of the garden centres is obviously an agent for Barbour jackets and Hunter wellies. I don't have anything against Barbour jackets and green wellies, in fact I have a Barbour myself and so does my offspring, but our wellies are proletariat normal black. Such things are fine in the country, but in the town one can't help but think they are sooo non-U – to use an expression that is, no doubt frequently used by the appalling Mrs B-C. Sadly there are so many misguided mums who like to kid themselves that they are somebody. Sadly it is only too obvious what they are, rather pathetic posers.
A lovely chapter, Ang, that had me giggling throughout. I can just see Mrs Browne-Cow's horrified look when the headmistress addressed "our Cathy" as Lady Cameron. Some prole!
Hilary
I Wonder If She Lives Up To The Name?
Does the name Coward mean she will act like it when Cathy finally has to take her down a few pegs? I think she is just like her last name implies and will back down when someone fights back. Most bullies do when faced with someone who decides not to be pushed around. It would be funny if Trish does the same thing to her daughter that Cathy will do to her when the time comes.
What i would have given
What i would have given...To have been stood watching the stand-off between Mrs Brown-Custard and Cathy...Good job then that the headmistress intervened!!!
After all its not quite the done thing for a future wife of a peer of the realm to be caught brawling in a school playground...Even if Mrs B.C did deserve a good slap...Still i'm sure there will be plenty more chances in the future for Cathy to practise her kick boxing.
Hugs Kirri
Fight ! Fight !
... Kick'er in the Boobs !!!"'
^_^
Kim
Obviously feeling inadequate
I have a working theory that anybody pretentious enough to use a hyphenated last name is feeling inferior (probably with good reason) and trying to compensate. Mrs. BC (Hmmm, are the initials a coincidence?) is obviously trying to pretend to status and class she doesn't have. And never will.
They know they can survive
WE Know What Simon Will Do
When he hears abot this, and in doing so will show that the 'brown' in Browne- Coward is very smelly, and that like all bullies, is aa coward at heart.But then again, I'd love to see Cathy kick box that phone out of that female's claw. Then we can see the gay dynamic duo from Working Girl come along and continue Cathy's misadventure.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Well actually Brown-Coward
... will be an apt name when that 'lady' is suitably scared !
Kim
I hope Cathy
takes a deep breath and decides that she is "above" revenge on Mrs Browne-Coward. Of course next time she sees her she can great her as "Mrs Browne-Nose" or "Browne-Stain" or something like that. Words only please, no property or body damage unless attacked.
That driver...
I can think of several OTHER ways to resolve things. This sorta worked. At least for now. Cathy REALLY needs to do something about getting that title "normalized".
3 inches clearance is nice. Once my wife returned to find another car so close to hers that you couldn't slide a single piece of paper between them... So, obviously she had NO intention of trying to pull out... She called the police, and when they arived, the first thing they did was write up the SUV for the "wonderful" parking job the driver did... Then, they all waited for the driver... Who started out very beligerant, until the policement politely suggested that if he didn't want to take a ride and have his car impounded, he might want to settle down. They did manage to get his car out without damage to my wife's car, we didn't need the aggrivationn of getting body work done. (Another time, my wife had a car door taken off - out of her hand by a car that WHIPPED into the space beside her. And despite circumstantial evidence, the three uni athletes got off with nothing more than a warning and we had to spring for the full cost of repairs to our car. :-( It was their 3 words to her one. And, star atletes never... Sorry. Gotta settle down...)
This story constantly surprises and is a pleasant (most of the time) short diversion. Thank you for sharing it with us!
Annette
Thanks for the story.
Little Miss BC
I can see a possible future. Mrs. Browne-Coward is not one who would openly attack their betters. Like her name any attack would be by stealth. Thru her daughter against Trish. For example: Little Miss BC- You're adopted, your mommy and daddy didn't love you... Trish: Yes you're right they didn't. But I picked out a better mommy and daddy who really love me. My mommy loves me so much that she fought off kidnappers and murderers? She healed me and my sister so that we can walk again. She heals our neice everytime she touches her. Sorry if your mommy doesn't love you as much. To doubt and scorn replys the headmistress that all is true. The question is about the father, is he like the mother of has he been working so hard that he hasn't paid attention to the bitch his wife has become.
Chelle_MM
Tickled Me Pink !
Oh Angharad,
that episode just tickled me pink. I am still g iggling about it as I try to type this!
Had a very similar incident happen to me a number of years ago, was visiting my dear younger sister in UK where she had gotten involved in some local charity event due to being a local councillor, and here is me over from Sweden and dressed in a blue jean suit, with beads and bells on like a left over flower power child, prancing about with my Hasselblad, snapping everything in sight. Up comes this officious fat woman from the Conservatives and says "Eugh, so you must be Lindah's younger sibling?" "No, she is the younger one, I just look younger because i dont mix up with all the old fossils like she does" "Eugh dehah"
Briar
Briar
Verbal sparing
When it comes to verbal sparing remember who Cathy's soon to be sister in law is. She gets plenty of practice, the vitch is out of her league. I'm looking forward to it.
If it was closer to X-mas, she'd be Noel Brown- Coward ??
Gee, even the minions of God have heard of the exploits of Lady Catherine. Wonder if they know everything ?
Seems the timing of the rescue was just in time, for Mrs Brown-Coward, that is.
Wonderfully done.
Cefin