Being Me - Part 3 - The Voyage of Discovery

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Being Me
Part 3 - Voyage of Discovery
by Karin Roberts

I awoke the next morning refreshed and ready to go. The fact that when I looked in the mirror I saw Tracey staring back at me was still difficult to get used to. Padding across my room I entered the small bathroom and started the shower.


 
 
Cruise Diary — Day 2

I awoke the next morning refreshed and ready to go. The fact that when I looked in the mirror I saw Tracey staring back at me was still difficult to get used to. Padding across my room I entered the small bathroom and started the shower. Dropping the short silk nightdress I had worn to bed the night before I stepped into the warm water. I soaped my body still awestruck by the fake boobs that still adorned my chest, in my mind the nipples hardened as my hands traced over them as if being touched by a lover showering with me.

My shower over I dressed for the morning ahead, I planned to do a little exercise before breakfast. Mum and Avril I knew had plans to go ashore, so did I, but I had designs on going on my own and not tagging along with them. I pulled on some cut off denim shorts and a white tee-shirt it stretched across my newly found chest. Sitting at the mirror I looked at my face, the haircut had really changed my appearance even without make up I still had a feminine look. As I gazed at the image before there was a knock on the door.

“Tracey darling you awake” the call came.

“Yeah, just a sec” I said as I stood and went to open the door.

“Sleep well” My Mum asked as she bounced into the room full of cheer.

“Yeah you obviously did, good night at the club,” I asked.

“It was ok we didn’t stay that long”

I held my breath, wondering if Avril had spilled the secret of last nights kiss. I decided to keep talking maybe avoid the topic.

“I spoke to Dad last night they think they might have a lead” I said excitement in my tone.

“That’s good dear isn’t it” she said sounding a little like she didn’t care a bit.

“Yeah it is, he says hi, maybe you should call him” I said.

“I will darling now are you coming ashore with me and Avril today” she asked changing the subject.

“Eh maybe not, I might just explore the boat a bit more” I replied.

“Well if that’s what you want then ok, now lets get you ready” she said.

I explained to Mum about my plans for some exercise so she skipped the make up session just ensuring that I moisturised my face and put on a little sun block. I dusted on a little natural eye shadow and some waterproof mascara and then lifting my large beach bag I tossed in some shorts and trainers and a little sports bra that Mum in all her wisdom and scheming had kindly thought to buy me. Slipping on my sunglasses I bid farewell to Mum and headed of to do my workout for the day.

Upstairs I changed the in the small changing rooms, tying my hair into a makeshift ponytail. The little stud earring’s Mum had insisted I wear to enhance my look, gleamed in the summer sun as I did some stretches before starting my morning jog. The little running track was quite deserted only one elderly gentleman pounding the boards as I started of at a medium pace. After about twenty laps I threw in a couple of sprint laps before stopping to re-catch my breath. A couple of other joggers had by now appeared oblivious to my true sex or identity they jogged past with a courteous “Good Morning” as they continued on their way. I slipped off into the gym and had five minutes on a rowing machine and some more stretches before calling it a day.

Back in the deserted dressing room I began to undress being careful to ensure that I kept my self a bit covered and my secret safe. Soon I was dressed an after applying a light touch of make up I was brushing out me hair when another girl sat down beside me. She began to get changed I watched in the mirror like some sort of voyeur as she stripped of her shorts and little panties. Her perfect round bubble butt, in full view, as I tried to quickly finish brushing my hair. As I turned to put away my brush she spoke.

“Good workout” she asked.

“Yeah not bad” I replied.

“Oh you are Scottish” as well she said as she encased her boobs in a little white bra.

“Eh yeah” I said.

She stepped forward “Mhari” she said extending her hand to me.

“Tracey” I replied as she shook my hand.

“Look I’m just about changed why we could get some breakfast together” she asked.

“Eh, I don’t know I mean I’m”

“Go on, I was playing squash with my brother and he’s shot off to get ready to go ashore so I’m on my own”

“Eh well I suppose..”

“Good’ I’ll just be a couple of minutes and then we can go” she said as she approached the mirror.

A few minutes later we left the dressing room, I expected us to had off to one of the small diner’s but Mhari stopped at the small flight of stairs leading up to the exclusive “Crow’s Nest Diner,”

“Eh we can’t use that” I said.

“Sure we can, I’m staying over there” she said pointing to the most exclusive cabins on the ship,
“You’re my guest so I can take you up.” We walked up the six or so steps, Mhari spoke to the waiter at the entrance and he guided us to a small metal table and we sat down.

“Who are you with” she asked.

“Eh my Mum and her friend, Dad’s a policeman, he’s working on the abducted girl case” I said pride in my voice at Dad’s status.

“Oh yeah I read about that, terrible isn’t it, I’m here with my Mom Dad and two bother’s plus an assortment of about a dozen other family members, it’s Mum and Dad’s twenty fifth wedding anniversary a bit of a celebration,” she said scanning the menu.

“Where you from, Glasgow” she asked.

“Eh just outside, you.” I enquired.

“Dunbar, Dad has a car dealership in Edinburgh, I’m in my last year of Law at University and my big brother, Justin, did Business Studies and is working with Dad.”

The waiter arrived and we ordered.

“Eh can I smoke up here” I asked.

“Yeah you can” Mhari said glancing around her she spotted an ashtray and got up and lifted it back to our table. “You want one” I asked offering her the pack, “Eh, ok go on I only really smoke when I’m drinking but ok” she said as she slipped one from the pack. I flicked the lighter into life and she lit up.
Soon our food had arrived and over some fresh fruit and a glass of juice we talked away like any two young women would, fashion, music to boys the works. Soon breakfast was over and we left the terraced restaurant back down to the deck below.

“Look why don’t we meet up one night” she asked, going on “You know check out the talent on board have a couple of drink’s what do you say.”

“Well, I mean I’m with Mum but I suppose.”

“Good that’s settled, we have a big family meal tonight up there” she pointed back to where we had come from “But tomorrow night is free, that ok with you.”

“Yeah I suppose.”

“Ok about 8 in Shipmates Bar” she said “on Deck 7” she said.

“Yeah, ok”

“Cool see you then Tracey,” she said as she began to walk away.

I headed back to my deck and cabin, this was getting more complicated I now had a girl friend, well you know what I mean to keep my identity under wraps from. But it was also getting more exciting as the more people were coming to accept me as Tracey then the more confident I was becoming !

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Back in my cabin I changed into a loose fitting almost Hippy style blouse with a long flower patterned wrap over skirt. I put on some cork wedged sandals and touched up my make up. I put my purse and make up bag in large beach bag checking that my swipe card for boarding was in the purse. Then I was on my way confidently I strode along the deck heading for the exit ramp. I opened my bag and pulled out my purse then it hit me “Damn I’ve left my cigarettes in my room” I thought to myself. I turned and looked around the little shopping mall was just back there I could get some from the shop.

I stepped into the cool tiled mall which was busy with other passengers shopping for souvenirs of the trip or having a beer at the little bar diner. Finding the tobacconist / newsagent shop I wend inside. The single shop assistant busy serving one customer I scanned the array of cigarettes on the shelf behind the counter looking for my favourite brand. Suddenly me eyes settled on something, no it couldn’t be, my pulse began to race my heart sped up. I stepped forward, had I not been wearing mascara then I would have been rubbing my knuckles in my eye’s trying to clear my vision and confirm what I was looking at, I was right it was a cigarette that I had dreamed about.

“Eh Miss, can I help you” a voice sounded of to my left. The sales assistant had been trying to get my attention.

“Eh yes, yes you can I’ll take 40 of those cigarettes” I said pointing to the display case.

“These” she asked he hand lifting them from the display.

“Eh yes that’s them how much” I asked fiddling with my bag.

“Fourteen Euro 20” she said.

I fiddled around in my purse grabbing a 20€ note I handed it to her she handed me the cigarettes which I hastily pushed in my bag and turned.

“Eh Miss your change”

“Oh yeah sorry, I forgot”

She handed me my change I dropped it back in my purse and left the shop. I looked around my heart was still beating so fast, the palm of my hands damp with anticipation I needed a cigarette but I needed a place to savour it.

Exiting the rear of the mall I scanned the decks, there were several people milling around but not a lot. Looking along the deck, near the rear of the ship I spotted an empty couple of summer seats. That will do I thought to myself, I wanted to run to the seats but keeping my decorum I walked quickly towards them. Once there I sat down my heart still beating as if it wanted to escape my chest. I opened my bag and peered inside. Yes they were still there half expecting that they had escaped my bag in the short trip to this seated area.

By now many of you must wonder what I am going on about but as I lifted the slim packet out of the bag I will explain. Those who don’t have a smoking fetish or don’t find the sight of an attractive woman smoking will not understand but for those who do then they will understand where I am coming from. I looked down at my hand there in my hand was a white and green packet of VS 120 cigarettes, the Ferrari of cigarettes well that’s how I felt anyway, how many times had I looked at pictures and watched You Tube video’s of women and TV’s smoking these long slim cigarettes that just oozed femininity and sex. How had they got here on a ship in the middle of the ocean? It was as if they had been transported here by magic. Then my mind cleared, I mean American’s go on cruises don’t they so why should they not be here.

I unwrapped the cellophane as I stared at the packet; pulling the light green foil paper away I uncovered the buried treasure. I fumbled with the long slim cigarette trying to get it out of the packet my newly acquired nail extensions getting in the way finally I gripped one and eased it free. I’m surprised I never dropped it my fingers shaking as they were; I stared at the delicate white tube, before lifting it to my lips and placing it between them. Pulling out my lighter I tried to flick it into life the sea breeze killing it, I tried again, no luck, putting my bag down beside my feet I cupped the flame with my hand and tried once more it sparked into life. I pushed the cigarette into the yellow flame and sucked. An unusual menthol taste filled my throat not like my usual UK brand maybe a bit harsher and a little less menthol but oh how it tasted. It was like your first kiss or something similar for me though it was bliss another milestone had been struck from my journey. How I had dreamed of smoking a VS 120, in my mind it had been behind closed doors dressed at home while Mum was out before probably tossing myself off as I dreamed of being a seductive female pulling her prey to her. But no here I was a seductive female on a cruise ship with a new hairstyle and long false nails with passengers walking buy and seeing nothing else but an attractive young woman smoking a cigarette and enjoying the early afternoon sun.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I arrived back on the ship early evening about just over an hour before it was due to pick up anchor and head for our next port of call. I had, had a pleasant afternoon wandering the cobbled streets. I had even bought myself a couple of blouses and a leather skirt which was at a really low cost compared with what I had seen in UK shops. When the heat had got too much I had sat by a small café ordered a cool glass of wine and smoked one of my VS cigarettes watching the world go buy, a couple of times admiring glances crossed my way from males passing buy, all in all my confidence was now sky high and as Tracey I worried not that I would be discovered. Maybe Mum and Avril had been a bit devious but I really had and awful lot to than them for, in my mind I made a mental note to do that in the not too distant future.

After checking in with Mum I took a nice relaxing shower and lay back in my bathrobe watching some TV hoping maybe to get some news about Dad and the case. With no fresh news I began to dress for the evening. Mum had said we would have a light dinner and a couple of drinks which was fine with me. Choosing some fresh lingerie I dressed and sat down to apply my make up, Mum had taught me well and soon a freshly made up little fox looked back at me from the mirror. I scanned my wardrobe all of which was off course new to me I choose a wine silk fitted blouse flared at the bottom but gathered in to the torso and bust area. I adjusted the collar and pulled it down before picking up the leather skirt I had bought today. Slipping it on I adjusted it to fit it was about a couple of inches above my knees but not too short. I could feel the soft leather caress my thighs as I moved across the room and found a pair of black 3  ½ inch stilettos the silver metal heel glistening as I pulled them on to my feet. Collecting some bits and pieces together I dropped them into my black leather clutch bag and set off for dinner.

Dinner was exceptional a great seafood salad and some interesting chat about our day. Even Avril was beginning not to bug me any more. My new found confidence meant that I never even gave my true self a second thought and felt very much the woman in a threesome having a pleasant evening. We adjourned to the Funchal terrace and found a table to sit at three white wine spritzers appeared and we settled back to enjoy our night. I pulled my cigarettes from my bag and took one out.

“Oh where did you find them” Avril asked.

“The little shop in the mall” I replied offering her the packet she took one as did Mum I offered them a light before lighting my own cigarette. Could life really get any better I thought as I looked out across the vast ocean and took a drag from my cigarette?

Our night went on and seemed perfect except Avril was getting a bit tipsy and following a trip to the bar to get us some top ups she somehow dragged three guys’ back to our table.

“This is Bobby, Luke and, and……”

“Chris” the guy said embarrassed at Avril forgetting his name, she swayed a little as she sat down.

“I asked them to join us” she said, I crushed out my cigarette and raised my eyebrows in a disgusted gesture at Mum. The three guys pulled over sat and sat down. Bobby was beside Avril, Chris next to Mum and then Luke next to me. The chat began to flow then as it progressed it changed rather than as a group discussion the guy’s, as guys do began to concentrate on the female of their choice.

“You enjoying the Cruise” then Luke asked, moving a bit closer to me.

“Yeah it’s been good so far, first time I’ve been on a boat” I replied, out of the corner of my eye I could see Avril who was getting increasingly tipsy almost drag Bobby out of his seat and towards a small dance floor at the end of the deck.

“So what do you do for a living” he was almost so close now that I could feel his breath on the side of my face. His arm was round the back of my seat and I could feel the outside of his finger trace up and down my arm.

I tensed a little, “Cold” he asked.

“No just a shiver, eh I’m still at college” I lied slightly as I was only due to start after the holiday.

“What you studying” he asked as Mum slipped away with Chris towards the dance floor to join Avril.

“Computing and programming” I replied leaning forward I took my bag and opened it taking out my VS 120’s I took one from the pack and lit it. Easing back I realised Luke’s arm had now slipped a bit lower and was now round my waist his hand resting on my hip. I took a nervous drag on my cigarette inhaling before blowing a cloud of smoke into the night air. I could see Mum and Avril still dancing away to a cheesy eighties dance tune. Luke was really close to me now, a few days ago dressed as I was I would have run a mile but something was keeping me here, Tracey’s new found confidence in her femininity and appearance was making me comfortable in my ability to carry off the fact that I was not really a young woman.

Luke must have caught me looking at Mum, “You want to join them” he asked nodding in their direction.

“Might as well” I replied as I took a final draw from my cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray.
Luke stood and offered me his hand, instinctively I took it and picking up my handbag I let him lead me to the dance floor. As we approached I could see Mum look over a smile on her face as she waved to me to join her. We slipped onto the floor I put my bag on the floor and we began to move to the music. I was never the best of dancers and doing it in heels was more difficult than I thought but I managed to dance away without tripping or twisting an ankle in the process. We danced away the evening swapping partners from time to time, the three women together when the guy’s could not be bothered.

I was enjoying myself but one thing was bothering me and that was both Mum and Avril’s reaction to these guys. While I was friendly and charming and laughed at their jokes, I was not flirting the same as they were. I mean I suppose I had a better reason than them but they were definitely giving off signals that there was more to come tonight. I mean it’s not right she’s my Mum, my Dad is at home, I mean Avril can shag everyone on the boat if she likes but not my Mum!

During one slower dance while Luke had his arms round my waist I cast a glance over at Mum. Chris was holding her co close tight into his chest his hand on her lower back while the other was roaming across her arse. That was it for me serious words needed to be said so when the dance finished I broke for Luke.

“I need to go to the ladies” I said in my best apologetic tone.

“No trouble babe, another drink,” he asked.

“Not for me, I might call it a night soon,” I said glancing at my watch.

He looked a bit disgusted as I walked away and approached Mum.

“Toilet break,” I said as I reached her.

“I suppose” she said picking up her bag as Avril slid into the table with Bobby’s arm around her waist.

“We’re just going to the loo” Mum announced her voice slurring a little. If Avril heard her she never let on because there was no response as we walked away.

Inside the toilet I found a cubicle both found cubicles and went inside. I thought about how I was going to bring up the subject of Mum’s flirting. I decided to just challenge it head on. Back outside I checked my make up in the mirror applying a little more lipstick and touching up my mascara while I waited.

The door opened and she joined me at the mirrors, I cast a glance around just to see that we were on our own.

“Mum what do you think you are doing with Chris, he’s all over you.” I asked.

“It’s just a bit of holiday fun dear a bit of harmless flirting, we women do it all the time, you’ll learn.”

“Well I don’t think he’s thinking that his hand was all over your backside at the last dance”

She blushed slightly.

“I mean your married, Avril can do what she likes but you’re my Mum.” A slight tear appeared at the corner of one of my eyes.

She touched my face “Don’t get upset darling, I’m not going to do anything.”

“Well I don’t think they think that” I said pulling a small tissue from my bag I dabbed the tear away.

“Ok a couple more drinks then I’ll get us out of there.”

“Well I’m not staying anymore, you can tell Luke I’ve got a headache or something but I’m going back to my cabin, promise me you will leave soon, promise me,” I said.

“I will now relax and get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning, it’s been a big couple of days for you, and you still have lot’s to learn, ok, I promise we will leave soon.”

“Ok” I said as we turned and walked back towards the bar. I left her by the entrance and started down the metal stairs my heels clicking on the surface as I went. I trusted her, why I don’t know after she had set me up like this, but I just hoped that she would keep her word and leave soon.

Back on my own deck I walked towards the stairs down to our cabins, I stopped by the rail and opened my bag. One more cigarette before I went to bed I thought. I took one out and lit it blowing a white cloud into the night air. In the distance I could see some light’s from some shore blinking as we sailed along. I was still in deep thought about Mum when a voice sounded.

“Hello Princess”

It was Armstrong the sailor that had spoken to me yesterday the one Avril had caught me kissing.

“Oh hello” I said drawing on my cigarette as I turned and leaned my back to the railing.

“Enjoying the night air, where’s your friend.”

“Avril, oh she’s Mum’s friend there up on the Funchal terrace with three jerks.”

“Someone upset you” he said stepping into the rail next to me.

I took another drag on my cigarette and looked at my feet, my arms crossed under my breasts like some type of defence mechanism, “It’s just, I mean, Mum’s married and she’s flirting like mad with this guy it’s not right.”

“People do funny things on holiday Princess, I should know, the thing’s you see going on on this ship.”

“I suppose, but I mean I’m her s.., daughter,” oops almost a fatal mistake there, I blushed a bit.

“Yeah well maybe she just needs to let her hair down I mean can’t be much fun stuck on this boat with her old man back home.”

“Yeah well I’ve told her what I think and she’s promised to leave soon so I guess I’ll just have to trust her. Anyway won’t you get into trouble for talking to me again!” I said.

“Worth it Princess, the stars the moon and a beautiful girl to talk to,” he nudged shoulders with me in a playful manner.

“Yeah, yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls on the ship, what is it they say a girl in every port maybe you are just a girl on every cruise.” I took a final draw on my cigarette and turning tossed it overboard.

“No seriously you’re the best looking girl on the ship,” I blushed slightly again.

“Yeah but I’m also a passenger and I get you into trouble” I said playfully punching his arm.

“Worth it though and anyway I’m not on duty all the time I get shore leave we could hook up then, how about it.”

“I don’t know, maybe” I said.

“Once we get to Barcelona I have a day off we could see the sights, what do you think.”

“I don’t know I don’t know what Mum and Avril will have planned.”

“Well think about it I’ll look out for you or just ask in the Customer Service desk in the mall, they will page me.”

I stepped back ready to go, “Ok maybe” I said.

As I walked past Chris gripped my wrist and spun me round I was in his arms before I knew what was happening.

“To Barcelona then” he said as his mouth covered mine, surprised by the suddenness of his move I was about to say something so my half open mouth was a simple target for his tongue to find it’s way in. My hand came to rest on his shoulder as he increased the tempo of the kiss. I pushed back and broke off.

“You have a nerve” I said, “I do, but you will still come ashore with me in Barcelona,” he replied.

I stepped away from him ant turned and began to walk along the deck, “See you Sunday” he said before he wolf whistled at me. I turned my head slightly and looked back for a second, as I turned back a smile crossed my lips as I walked on as the only sound that could be heard on this still night was my heels clicking on the deck.


 
To Be Continued...

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Comments

Your return

Andrea Lena's picture

Welcome back to Tracey. I love this story, sweetie! God bless! 'drea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

I just love this story...

...it's like catching up with an old friend! Thanks everso for reintruducing us to Tracey.

Stillian (and still dreaming)

Mmmmmmmm I love this story!

I love this story soooo much! Actualy, I want to see Tracey and Avril have some hot girl on girl time!

GeenaGurl in MA

GeenaGurl in MA