FROM THE AUTHOR: It has come to my attention that my story, Headlights Girl, is not posted here at Top Shelf. It IS a Lulu/DopplerPress/Amazon book, available to purchase or download, but I always intended to keep it posted for free for those who can't afford to buy it. I wrote it back a few years ago and there WAS a link to it at Classic Big Closet, but the link doesn't work any more, and I want it here, where it can be seen and read. Thus, this re-posting. So without further ado, here is my most popular story,
by Catherine Linda Michel
New editing and proofreading by Sephrena Miller
Hi, honey! You here for dinner or just drinks? Dinner? Great! Just follow me to a table and we'll get you set right up. We can talk between customers.
Glancing back at you as I lead you to your table, I can see where your eyes are focused. Right on my behind as it swings sexily back and forth. You might not look at it in quite the same way if you only knew……well, never mind. You'll never know who the real me is and it's probably just as well. My tips wouldn't be as big as they usually are and I'd probably get fired for letting the secret out.
"What secret?" you ask?
"Well, lover, you just sit down and have your dinner and a few drinks and if I think you're in the right, receptive mood, I just might let you in on the best kept secret in the world of Beer/Steak places like this one. Oops! Another customer. 'Scuse me for just a little minute while I get him seated. I'll be right back, hon."
"Now, is this your first time at Headlights?" I ask in a low sexy murmur. "It is? Oh Wonderful!" I squeal in that airheaded, bimbo way that seems to make guys fall all over themselves when they hear it. "That means that you get your first drink and your last drink of the evening free! Isn't that kewl?"
God! I hate talking like this but it sure makes for great tips and, after a few weeks, I sort of got used to acting like the blond ditz I appear to be. Actually, after the bodysuit, the hardest thing to get used to was the damn t-shirt all us "girls" have to wear. The antique automobile headlights that are printed on the shirt right where my boobs and nipples push it away from my chest are demeaning to say the least, and downright embarrassing at the most, but like I said, the whole outfit makes for great tips. Sometimes I take home over 400 dollars in a single night, just in tips!
I waited until you were in the middle of your first drink before I came back to the table for your food order, as we've been trained to do.
"Hi again, hon!" I chirp, sounding so damn perky I wanna puke. "You ready to order yet?" "Prime Rib? You bet, sweetie. Baked or fries with that? Uh-huh. Sour cream? You got it hon. Salad? No huh? I kinda had you figured for a no grazing kinda guy. O.K. darlin'. I'll have this back here in a couple of shakes. Would you like another drink while you wait? Blackjack and ginger, right? I'll be right back with that, sweetie. You just sit tight and enjoy the view". And I walk back towards the bar, making sure to swing my behind for all it's worth. Actually I don't really have to TRY to do that, the way the suit is made, it just sorta comes naturally.
"Well, I got some time before this guy's order is ready so let me tell you the tale of how I became a HEADLIGHTS GIRL. Oops! Let me take his drink over to him."
"Ya know what? Maybe this would go better if I meet you after work. Can you be here at 2 AM when I get off? I'll explain everything then, k? Kewl!"
A FEW HOURS LATER:
"Hey, thanks for stopping back, hon. Just follow me to my place out on the beach and you'll hear a story you just won't believe, but I swear it's true. I'm also gonna make you an offer after I tell you the story and what you do about that offer will affect the rest of your life. Curious now? Good! Follow me, sweetie."
AT HOLLY'S PLACE:
"Now are you ready for a story you won't believe? Well, it all started about three years ago, just after I graduated from High school. I know, I know, just let me finish, ok?"
I was just sort of bumming around, waiting to decide what college to attend. I had offers from two or three and I wanted to take a little time off to sample a bit of real life before I made my choice. I was living pretty much on my own thanks to a legacy from my Grandparents. My parents were separated and with Dad living in Washington D.C. and Mom in Oregon.
I had gotten myself declared emancipated and, with the legacy, I was easily able to afford a small apartment and even a second hand Chevy, which ran pretty well. I had about $400.00 to spend on food and other stuff every month, after I paid rent and car insurance premiums so I wasn't too hard up for money. I also had a part time job at the local supermarket, collecting up carts from the parking lot and stocking shelves which netted me another 75-100 bucks a week.
Anyway, I got to know quite a few of the regular shoppers there at the store, what with helping them out to their cars and stuff and one of them was this absolutely gorgeous blonde named Holly. She was probably 5 or 6 years older than I was and I was hopelessly in love with her. She had a body that wouldn't quit and a way of speaking that just drove my teenaged hormones right up the wall! She was about 5'6" in heels(which she seemingly wore all the time) and about 38-23-37 or so. Like I said, Just gorgeous!
I'd help her to her car, load her groceries, open and hold her car door for her, all just to hear her voice say "Thanks, sugar." I'll tell you, I would have walked ten miles in a blinding blizzard to stand naked in her garbage. I mean, I was in love!!
Well, one day, after I had loaded her car, she looked at me and said,
"Thanks sugar." and I moved to let her back her car out of the space, but she looked at me kinda funny, quizzical like, and then said,
"Sweetie, you've been so helpful all these times with my groceries and stuff. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime, kinda so I could pay you back?"
Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather and I know I hemmed and hawed, trying to find my voice for several seconds before I managed to collect enough of my wits to say, "S ss ss sure!"
She actually bounced up and down in place, kinda like those women do on those quiz shows when they win and then she gave me this little kiss on the cheek and said,
"Wonderful, honey! I'll pick you up at 7 tonight, dress casual. Oh! Where do you live?" and she giggled.
I managed to remember my address, amazingly enough, and I walked back to the store, after she left the parking lot, somewhere above cloud nine. I even forgot all the carts outside the store!
I managed to finish out my shift and, at 5PM when I punched out, I jumped into my little Chevy and made it home in record time. I showered and jumped into fresh clothing and waited, as nervous as the proverbial long tailed cat in the room full of rocking chairs. I must've looked outside my window at least a hundred times, not wanting to appear too anxious or eager. When her car appeared in the street outside my apartment, I darn near pulled my door off it's hinges, hurrying out there.
She looked incredible in a pair of leather hot pants and a shiny, silky looking top, with high heels and perfect makeup. Her hair was loose and swirled around her head, and she wore simple but expensive looking jewelry. I was wearing my best pair of slacks with a light blue dress shirt and my best pair of loafers but I felt like a real bum, looking at her. She smiled, though and chirped,
"Get in, sweetie! I'm gonna show you the time of your life tonight."
I climbed in the passenger side of that Mustang and almost before I could get settled in the seat, she blasted off down the street, with a throaty, sexy sounding laugh.
"I'm gonna change your life tonight, honey, if you've got the nerve!"
I had no idea what she was up to, but I was in a fast car with my dream girl and I wasn't about to argue with her or question what she said. I figured, with a little luck, I'd be sharing her bed tonight and I was flying high, lemme tell ya!
We cruised outside of town to a place that had opened many years earlier, called HEADLIGHTS. I knew what kind of place it was, but I'd never actually been there before. You had to be 21 and I was only 19 so I couldn't get in, legally and they were tough on IDs there. They served meals and drinks there, and also there was some exotic dancing that went on, or so I had heard.
Well, she tooled on into that parking lot like she owned it and parked that Mustang right next to the back door. She jumped out and squealed at me,
"Come on, honey! We haven't even started on this night yet! Believe me, when this night is over, you're gonna know so much more than you ever dreamed you would, you might not ever want to go back to that dreary little store!"
I followed her right up to that back door and she inserted a little keycard that opened it right up. We went in, but were met by this guy who looked about as big as a house! I mean he was huge! He kinda growled a greeting at her, saying,
"Hey Holly. Who's yer friend? Is he legal?" and he gave me this look that just about froze the blood in my veins.
"Oh, don't worry, Tank. He's with me and he's legal, aren't ya, honey?" and she looked at me.
"Oh, um, yeah, of course I am." I sputtered, trying to look like I belonged there.
"Besides, Tankie", she continued, "I owe him. This is the guy who's been so nice to me all summer at the store. Remember? I told you all about him."
"Oh yeah." Tank rumbled. I remember now. "Hey, kid. Put 'er there." And he held up a hand about the size of a catcher's mitt.
"Any pal 'o Holly's is O.K. in my book. You just mind your P's and Q's inside and do like Holly tells ya and you won't have no grief from me, and welcome to HEADLIGHTS!"
I gulped and put out my hand, waiting for it to be crushed by this man mountain, but he took it in a surprisingly gentle grip and shook it.
I was gonna say more, but Holly grabbed my hand and practically dragged me away from him into a short hallway and then out into the club itself.
Wow! Like I said before, I'd never been in there before and, although I had heard things about it, what I'd heard didn't do it justice. The place was really nicely decorated in muted wood tones, kinda like a western saloon, and there were literally dozens of tables, with a long fancy looking bar all along one wall. There were several scantily clad waitresses flitting all over the place delivering drinks and food. They were all wearing the same thing. Short shorts, heels, and this kinda shorty t-shirt that said "HEADLIGHTS" with the word right across their breasts.
Holly was still kind of pulling me along in her wake, and all the waitresses were saying hi to her as we passed them. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she must work here and she was bringing me there for dinner as a reward for being so nice to her all summer. Heh, heh. "Boy, have _I_ got it made tonight!" I was thinking to myself. Dinner there, some dancing and then…….well, I'm sure you know what I was thinking about "after".
I sort of lost track of things about then, what with looking at the place and thinking about "after", but I was brought back to my senses when Holly led us to a table and told me to have a seat. She then wiggled off to the bar and, in a few minutes, she came back with a couple of glasses of, well, I'm still not sure what was in them, but they sure tasted good. Not at all what I expected alcohol to taste like, I can tell you that!
The next thing I knew, one of the waitresses was at the table with an armload of food. I looked at Holly and said, "But we didn't even order!"
She just giggled at me and said,
"Don't worry about it sweetie. I ordered when I got the drinks and this is all on me. You just enjoy and let Holly have control for just this night, ok? I promise you'll never regret it."
Well, as my cousin once said, "Never gaze a gratuitous equine in the oris maximus", which is to say, never look a gift horse in the mouth. I didn't. I just tucked into what had to be the best prime rib I had ever eaten and a monster order of steak fries, washed down with whatever was in those drinks that seemed to keep appearing at the table.
In between mouthfuls, I listened while Holly talked. She told me how great it was working there and how much money she made and how wonderful the girls were and how the bouncers really kept a close eye on the girls. She also said a lot about how nice it was that a nice guy like me would be so pleasant and attentive to her and she seldom met guys like that.
Now you're probably asking yourself, why wasn't I just a little bit suspicious about all this? I mean, how often does stuff like this happen to ordinary guys like me, right? In my defense, all I can really say is that I was so enamored of this woman and so flattered that this goddess wanted to spend time with me, that I didn't even think about being suspicious. I was having so much fun at the club, talking with Holly and thinking about what we might be doing after this that my little warning buzzer was completely unheard.
Well, dinner was great and the conversation with Holly was nothing less than fantastic, not to mention how proud I was feeling that a great looking woman like Holly was with me in a fancy club like that. We even danced some, including a couple of slow dances where Holly seemed to be doing her very best to push right through me! I mean I could feel every little curve and bump on her body, against my own and it felt so damn good.
There were some exotic dancers, but they were actually kind of well, tame I guess. At least they seemed tame to me. I'd always pictured exotic dancers as being one step above strippers, but these girls were classy. Yeah, they did lose some clothing along the way, but it never seemed cheesy or cheap, ya know? Holly said that all the girls here started as waitresses and worked their way up to being dancers if they wanted to. They didn't have to become dancers, but the pay was so much better and the tips were three or four times what they could make waiting tables that almost all the girls wanted to advance to being dancers.
Well, things went on that way for another hour or two, until Holly finally decided she wanted to leave. Naturally I said ok, and as we left, I asked her what the bill came to. She just giggled at me and said,
"Silly! I told you that tonight was my treat and I won't take a penny of your money. Tonight is my way of saying thanks for being such a nice guy and helping me so much at the store all summer. Now you just put that little old wallet of yours away and let Holly take care of you, ok?" and she gave me a little kiss on the cheek which sort of moved to my mouth and turned into, well, it turned into a hot passionate kiss that took me completely by surprise.
Naturally my penis reacted at it should have and I suddenly had this tent in my slacks. Holly noticed immediately and giggled at that too. She got this look in her eyes, kind of a hungry look too. All of a sudden, that 'later' I had been thinking about all evening, was looking ever closer and ever more probable. I had high hopes.
We left the club, escorted to her car by "Tank" and she tore out of the lot like Tony Stewart. That little Mustang could really go! In no time at all we were pulling up to a nice looking place on the beach that she said was hers! Oh, my friends, I was in heaven! A beautiful woman had treated me to a night in a nice club, had danced with me and was taking me back to her place. A teenage fantasy, right? Well I was living it.
We entered the place and she gave me a quick tour that ended in the, gulp, bedroom. It didn't take any time at all before we were both naked and, "taking care of business". Matter of fact, we took care of business for several hours! I was amazed at my own performance! There was something about Holly that just seemed to bring out endurance in me that I never knew I had. I'm not going to go into details, though. They really aren't that important and it was kinda private so suffice it to say that I had the most incredible night of making love I had ever had, and yes, you read that right. We didn't just have sex, we made love. Sex is too ugly a word for what we experienced that night. It was magical.
When we awoke in the morning, we did it all over again. We didn't even leave that bed until several hours after awakening. After, we shared breakfast, which Holly herself cooked. I don't know why I was surprised that she could cook, I just was.
Afterward, sitting on the deck at the back of the house and looking at the ocean, we talked. Holly talked a lot about her hopes and dreams and I just let her talk. Her voice seemed almost magical to me. She said that she wanted to leave and go out west to Hollywood to become an actress.
'Well, a lot of good looking women want to do that,' I thought to myself.
She said that there was only one thing standing in the way of those dreams and that was finding a replacement for her at HEADLIGHTS.
"See," she said, "Every time a girl leaves the club, they have to find a replacement to work the club and it's up to each girl to find that replacement. If they can't find one, they can't leave!"
Well, that sounded kinda weird to me, but I let her continue talking, figuring she'd get to some kind of point before too long. What she said next shocked the hell out of me, though!
"I want you to be that replacement, Jimmy!"
I think I developed some kind of mental vapor lock right about then. I know I heard what she said, I just didn't believe she'd said it! Me?
Working at HEADLIGHTS? She had to be kidding me, right?
"Now let me finish, Jimmy. She continued. The work isn't hard, once you get used to it and the place is great to work at and the girls are all so friendly and helpful and the bouncers are so protective and nice and….."
She went on like that for what seemed to be several minutes without letting me get in a word edgewise. I'm not even sure she breathed during any of it! When she finally wound down, she just sat there, looking at me with hope in her eyes.
'OK, Jimbo, Now what do you do?' I thought to myself. This woman, beautiful as she is, is obviously off her rocker! How could she possibly think that I, a guy, could take her place in such a club? I wanted to let her down as easily as possible without screwing up a good thing, so I said,
"Holly. No offense sweetheart, but do you have any idea what you just asked me to do? There's no way that _I_ could work in a place like that! To begin with, I couldn't be a bartender because I'm under age, and that applies to the other jobs as well! All the waitresses and dancers are girls, or hadn't you noticed that? Besides, I plan to go to college in the fall and I couldn't do that and still work in a club like that, right?
She just looked at me for a minute or so, then she sighed.
"Jimmy? There's something I'm gonna have to tell you now. You're not going to believe me, but I can prove everything I say. All I ask is that you listen without interrupting me, no matter how far out this is gonna sound, ok?"
"Um, Holly?" I asked. "How long is this gonna take?"
"Well", she replied, "It could take the rest of the day and into tonight. Can you be away from your work for that long? This is really, really important to me, Jimmy!"
I took one look at that beautiful face and I could read the pleading there. I got up, walked to the phone and dialed my boss, telling him that an emergency had come up and I wouldn't be able to make it into work that day. He said,
"No problem, Jim. You've been a good worker and I can certainly spare you for one day. Call me if there's anything else I can do or if you have any problem, ok?"
I said thanks and I promised I'd call if there was any other problem, then I hung up and went back to the deck where Holly was still waiting.
"I've got the whole day and tonight to spend with you, Holly." I said. “This whole deal sounds whacky to me but I'm willing to listen with as open a mind as I can, and I promise I won't laugh of make fun of you, ok? That's the best I can do.
"Oh, thank you, Jimmy." She cried. You don't know how much this could mean for me. Now, just sit down and listen, because this is gonna take some time and I know you're gonna have a lot of questions. I promise I'll try to answer all of them, but you've got to listen from start to finish, first. Deal?"
I sighed and settled myself into a comfortable lounger.
"I'm all yours, Holly and I'm all ears. Fire away."
She settled herself and began an amazing story.
"First of all Jimmy, my real name is Eric. I'm not really a blonde, or a girl and I'm only 21 years old myself. I started at HEADLIGHTS three years ago and worked my way from waiting tables to dancing in only one year."
I jumped up from the lounger right then and started to get angry!
"What the hell do you mean your name is Eric! You mean you're a…a….a guy? How the hell do you expect me to believe that! More importantly, how the hell can that be? We just made love all night and most of the morning, for God's sake! You can't be a guy! No freaking way!"
She jumped up too, and tried to calm me down, saying,
I told you, Jimmy, you've got to listen to me all the way through this or it won't make any sense and you'll only go away feeling cheated and angry. Please just sit down and listen, please? I promise that all your questions will be answered when I'm finished."
She stood there, looking at me with that 'hurt puppy' look on her face and I couldn't stay angry. I mean I was still angry, but I had promised to listen and I keep my promises, no matter what. I sat back down and she continued with her wild story.
"OK, I told you that my real name is Eric. I am, or I was, a guy when I started at HEADLIGHTS. I got the job the same way you will if you accept my offer. The 'Holly' I took over from was a guy named Frank and he got the job from another 'Holly' who was another guy named Bill. See, "Holly" is a bodysuit! She goes with the job. Every possible feminine habit, every bit of behavior, every thing about makeup, movement, everything is contained in the suit and the tapes that go with it. The tapes are subliminal learning tapes. They literally make you who the suit tells the world you are. You have to listen to them once a month for the first year and then once every three months after that. If you don't, the knowledge that you get from them wears off and you become whoever you are, or were, in a female bodysuit."
She paused here and got up to get us something to drink and snack on. I just sat there in somewhat of a daze, trying to make myself believe that what she was telling me was the truth. I wanted to believe her, but at the same time, I knew that what she was saying couldn't be real, could it? I mean, I had read about 'bodysuits', but they were just a wild idea of some 'out there' scientists types, or so I thought.
Holly returned from the kitchen with some sodas and chips and set them down on the table where we had eaten breakfast. She looked at me and asked,
"Are you ready for more?"
"Holly, I promised that I'd listen all the way through and I will. I'm not saying I believe any of this story, but I'll do what I said I'd do. You gotta admit, this whole thing sounds like some sort of science fiction thriller or something, you know?"
"Oh, Jimmy. I know how it sounds, but if you let me finish, I can prove everything I've said, so here goes. OK, I was just as weirded out by this story as you are right now, when I first heard it. 'Holly', well Frank actually, told me in much the same way that I am telling you. We had spent the night together as well and she..he..whatever told me the following morning. Now I was a straight guy at that time and I will be again after you take over for me, if you take over for me, that is. I'd never imagined making love with another guy either, but that's just it, Jimmy. When you wear this suit, you aren't a guy! I mean, with all the programming in the tapes, and with the suit on, you are a woman. No gynecologist in the world could tell you aren't and believe me, I've checked that out. See, almost every health problem a woman has, you can have while you wear this suit."
Holly paused again, but motioned me to remain quiet while she finished.
"You can't get infections, but you can and will have periods, and you even have the hormonal ups and downs that every woman has. You will even be attracted to men while you wear this suit. The only other thing you can't do in this suit is get pregnant, thank God! Now I don't know how all this is possible. I'm sure if you asked the right person, you could get the answers to those questions, but I never bothered. The deal, and the money were too good to pass up. Oh yeah, honey, the money is unbelievable. On a good night I take home over 500 dollars just in tips! I also found out that the more feminine I act, the more sexy and flirtatious I act, the more tips I make. Oh it was difficult to get used to, don't think it wasn't. I mean I was a guy, for God's sake, and yet there I was acting all cute and female and loving it! It was a hell of an education, I can tell you. See, the suit and the tapes take care of all that for you. All you really have to do is go along for the ride. About the only thing you can't do is switch back and forth between "you" and 'Holly'. You have to be 'Holly' all the time, otherwise it screws up the programming and that can be extremely disconcerting and costly to your pocketbook!"
She looked over at me and I'm sure my eyes were glazed over. This was a hell of a lot to be asked to swallow.
"Jimmy? Are you in there?" She asked in a joking tone of voice.
"Oh yeah, Holly…..do I still call you Holly? Or do I call you Eric? Or what? Anyway, I'm still here and I'm still listening, but I gotta tell you, this is getting more and more far fetched as you go. I mean, c'mon! This is a really good story you're telling, but there's no way it can be true."
Holly sighed and got a resigned look on her face.
"I can see," she said, "that you're going to need absolute proof of this, aren't you? I guess I can't blame you. I was the same way when I first heard this, but I thought I had learned enough to convince someone without going to the extreme that Frank had to, to convince me. I haven't had this suit off in over three years, and once I do take it off, if you don't agree to take my place, it'll take me almost a week to get used to being back in it. I'll call the club and arrange for 'Holly' to be off for the next seven days. I hope you appreciate what I'm gonna go through in the next few hours. It isn't gonna be pretty and I don' want you to get scared by anything that happens. I'm also gonna need your help for part of it. Are you ready for this? Do you think you can stick with me through this and not run off and leave me when I need your help the most? If you're not sure, tell me now, so I can avoid the pain I'm gonna go through."
I looked at "Holly" and I thought to myself, 'Well Jimbo. Are you up for this? If what "she" says is true, you're probably not gonna like what's going to happen. Pain, she said. Well, if this is for real, there would be pain. To be separated from something you'd been wearing for three years had to be painful.'
It didn't take me long to reach a decision. I leaned toward 'Holly' and took her hands in mine. Yeah it felt weird, knowing that inside that beautiful skin there could be a guy, but it seemed the thing to do at the time.
"Yes, Holly." I said quietly. "If you can prove what you're saying by doing this, then I will stay with you through it. All week if necessary. My boss will understand if I tell him it's an emergency. He might not like it, but he will understand, so yes. I will stay."
She looked at me and I saw a tear begin to creep down her cheek.
"Somehow," she said with a quaver in her voice, "I knew you would. Thank you."
She got up from her chair and headed into the house, saying,
"I have to get the hot tub going and it has to be very hot. Probably too hot for you to join me. It'll likely burn me near the end of this, but it won't be any worse than a bad sunburn. Painful, but not unbearable. This will take about 8 hours and I'll need to stay in the hot water for all that time. For part of it I'll have to be completely submerged, and for that part of it, I'll need you there constantly to monitor my air intake and to make sure I don't pop up out of the water. If I do pop out, I'll have to start the underwater part all over again. That part of it will take about two hours. Can you do this for me, or do you want to call it off now?"
"If you want to call it off, we can just forget the whole thing and you can go ahead and leave. I have to tell you this, though. If you leave, and if you ever tell anyone else about this and it gets back to the club that you told, well, you saw Tank, right? Tank is very protective of all the girls at the club and he doesn't like people talking about them or what's involved. You could get hurt, very badly if that ever happened and I don't want that to happen to you, so if you leave now, you can't ever tell anyone about this, understood?"
Again I took "Holly's" hands in mine and looked her straight in her eyes.
"Yes, I understand, Holly. I am not leaving, and if I did leave, you can be sure that I would never mention any of this to anyone. Hell, who'd believe me anyhow? They'd probably stick me right into a padded room! The thing is, if you're willing to go through all you say you're gonna go through, just to prove that you're telling the truth about this, there must be something to it, so I'm staying. For the whole week if I must, ok? Besides, if this is for real, well hell, it sounds like it could be a blast! I'd sure learn about what a woman wants and how they think, right? Also, if I do this, I could build up one hell of a nest egg, right? So let's get this going, Holly! The sooner we get to the truth here, the sooner I can know what, if anything, I intend to do about it."
She didn't say anything else. She just looked deep into my eyes. I don't know what she expected to find there, but whatever she did find must have satisfied her. She walked toward the side porch where, she said, the hot tub was located. I followed her and sure enough, there was a hot tub out there. A pretty fancy one at that. She cranked it up and when she was done, she turned to me and said,
"There's one more thing I haven't told you yet. If you take over being 'Holly', this house and everything in it and the car are yours to keep until you turn 'Holly' over to the next one. You can also keep being 'Holly' if you really want to, but after three years there's a 'break-point' you reach. At that time, which I am nearing now, you have to make the choice to either stay 'Holly' or pass her along. If you decide to stay 'Holly', you really become 'Holly', in every way. What I mean by this is, you actually become a real woman. You're still obligated to the club, but you can quit after another three years. During that time, part of your pay and your tips would be kept by the club to pay for another bodysuit. If, at the end of that three years, you decided to stay at the club, all that money would be refunded to you in exchange for an "exclusive contract" with you. The time limits of that contract would be decided at that time between you and the club. I know of at least three others who have gone that route and they've never regretted it as far as I know. See, while you work there and wear the suit, you only age at about half the normal rate. I don't know why this is. Again, if you really want those kinds of answers, you'd have to get them from the club management."
"Holly, I already told you that I'm in this for the long run, so you don't need to keep explaining if you don't want to. Let's just get this going so I can get the proof I need, ok?
I'm here for you, and I'm not leaving. End of discussion, ok?"
"OK, hon." She responded. "I just had to make sure and to give you all the information I thought you might need. Now, once this tub reaches proper temperature, which will be in about an hour, I'll be climbing in. This might sound silly, but ummm, I gotta be naked for this so if you don't wanna be here at first, I'll understand."
"OK, Holly, now who's being silly about this." I replied. "We just spent the whole night and most of the morning, naked, together. Why wouldn't I want to be there from the start to the finish of this?"
"You're a real sweetie, you know that?" She said. "Oh, by the way, it's partly the suit and partly the programming tapes that make me say things the way I do. Words like "sweetie" and "hon" and stuff like that are part and parcel of that, although you are a real sweetie! Hehehehe!" she giggled, and then dodged the backhanded swat I took at her behind.
Well, we got all the gear together that she would need, scuba and all that, and some food and drinks so she wouldn't get dehydrated or anything like that while she was in the hot tub, and about an hour later, she climbed in, naked as promised…who hoooo! Hey, she still looked like the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid eyes on. So sue me.
A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER:
Well, after I was done monitoring her while she was completely underwater, there wasn't a whole lot for me to do except sit around. We did talk a bit more, but as time went on, she seemed to get quieter and quieter. Maybe it was because a part of her life was coming to an end and she was sad about it, or maybe she wasn't sure I would take over being 'Holly' for her, or maybe it was something else. She never told me and I never asked. Eventually, we both ended up watching some television and occasionally snacking or drinking.
After about 6 hours, I noticed that her skin seemed to be getting wrinkly, something you'd expect anyway from being in water for that long, but this seemed to be more than just that. It actually seemed to be getting looser on her! Could what she'd told me actually be true? Was it just my imagination?
At the 8 hour mark, Holly seemed to go into some kind of convulsions. She slipped beneath the surface of the water and I jumped from my chair and grabbed her by the hair to pull her back up above the surface. To my shock, her hair came off in my hand, along with her face and part of her head!
I swallowed whatever it was that threatened to come up out of my stomach, realizing that I had to get her out of that tub or she'd drown and I jumped in, grabbing her under her arms and lifted her out of the water. That water was hot, almost hotter than I could stand and I was only in it for a couple of minutes.
I checked her breathing, although I should probably say his breathing now, because it was truly a male face that I now looked upon, on top of that beautiful, albeit now badly wrinkled, woman's body. In that moment, I became a believer. Wouldn't you?
Anyway, he was breathing okay and I got some towels to dry him off, but just then, he regained consciousness and pushed me away, muttering something about zippers or velcro or something like that. I bent down closer to his mouth and I could make out,
"Closure. Down the back of the suit. Works like velcro. Start at neck and work downward to below waist." Then he passed out again.
I rolled him over and, after a bit of fumbling around, I found were there was a tab of some kind at the joining of the head and hair part. I pulled at it and it finally gave away, revealing a slit which opened as I pulled down on that tab. When I got it to his waist, it parted completely and almost fell off his hips. I stopped there, not wanting to roll him back over to do the front part. Silly, I know, but I was still a bit homophobic about touching or even being near another guy's privates.
I revived him and after a few minutes, he finished getting out of what was now, obviously a suit! His skin was beet red in places and he asked me for some lotion which I handed to him. His hair, curiously, wasn't there at all. Neither were his eyebrows or lashes! One more question I would need an answer for. I figured he'd need some privacy so I got up to leave, but he reached out and grabbed my arm, saying,
"You don't have to leave. I'm really weak right now and I could use your help getting into a regular bathtub. There are some lotions and other things that will help with this skin burn if you wouldn't mind helping me."
Doing my best to overcome the slight distaste I was feeling, I helped him to his feet and supported him into the bathroom where I filled the tub with lukewarm water at his direction and added some liquids and powders from bottles and jars he indicated. I then left him alone to do whatever it was he had to do. I had a lot of thinking to do, and I needed time alone to do it.
It took almost two hours for 'Holly', now Eric, to get out of that tub. When he did, he came into the living room where I had been sitting and thinking. He was wearing a robe that was too small for him and, when I looked up and noticed that, he grinned and said,
"Hey, everything in this house belongs to 'Holly'. There aren't any men's clothes here and this was the only thing I could find to wear. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable or anything."
"No, that's ok." I replied. "It's just one little thing in a bunch of really big things today. As long as you don't move around too much and expose ...um anything, I'll be ok, I guess. You know, this is a hell of a thing to spring on me. I mean, here I was, expecting a pleasant time with a good looking woman and she turns out to be a guy in some kind of rubber love doll suit or something! Damn, man! How the hell am I supposed to feel about this?" I've been sitting here thinking about everything you've told and proved to me in the last few hours and I'm disgusted and fascinated at the same time. For God's sake, man! I made love to a man last night! How disgusting is that?"
Eric rose from where he was sitting, carefully, thank God, and came over to where I was seated. He sat down next to me, but not touching me in any way.
"Look, Jimmy." He began. "I know what you're going through right now, believe it or not. This is the very same way the last 'Holly' got me to take over for her/him/whatever. As weird as it seems to you right now, it felt the same way for me! I went through the same thoughts and feelings of confusion and disgust that you're going through, but that 'Holly' explained things to me the same way I'm gonna explain to you. First though, I gotta get something to eat, and some clothes to wear. It may take awhile to find something of 'Holly's' that will fit me and not look too strange. You want to start fixing something to eat for both of us? I'll be back in a little bit."
I looked at Eric in that silly little feminine silk robe and I couldn't help but grin a little bit at how ridiculous he looked in it.
"Well," I said, "Whatever you find, I hope it fits you better than that does. I guess I can probably find something in your kitchen to fix for us."
He smiled back at me and said,
"Well, I'll do the best I can. Please don't laugh at me when I come back out, though. Remember, all the clothing in this house was bought and tailored to fit 'Holly'. I'm probably gonna look sillier than I do right now."
Then he walked off towards the bedroom. I noticed a definite feminine motion as he did and I just shook my head, adding that to my long list of questions I was going to have to get answers to before this day was over.
I got up and walked into the kitchen and began looking in cupboards and into the refrigerator for something quick and simple to cook up for the two of us. Finding eggs and some cheese, I decided to make a couple of omelets and some toast and I also found, loaded and started the coffee pot. By the time the omelets and toast were done, the coffee pot was perking and, as I found some dishes and silverware, Eric came out of the bedroom.
He was wearing a sort of sweat suit, but it was pink. It really didn't fit him all that well, and it almost looked worse than the robe had, but at least nothing was in any danger of falling into view, thank goodness. I couldn't help smiling at how he looked in that outfit and he grinned a sort of sheepish grin back at me.
"I know, I know!" He said. "This was the best thing I could find that even came close to fitting! You gotta remember, 'Holly' is..was a very female woman. All 'her' clothing is either way too sexy or too revealing for me to wear as a guy. Go ahead and have your little laugh if you think it'll help."
Well, I thought about laughing. I wanted to laugh. I mean, here was this guy, wearing a cute little pink sweat suit and he did look silly in it, but then I also thought, 'He is right. If he'd come out here in any of the sexy clothing that a girl like 'Holly' would probably wear, he'd have looked so much more ridiculous. Besides, there are more important things to be thinking about right now'.
I dished up the food and sat down at the table, leaving him to get his own. He loaded up his plate and came over to the table, bringing the coffee pot and a cup with him. We sat there eating and didn't say much at all. I think he was giving me time to organize my thoughts before continuing with his incredible story.
When we were done eating, he took our plates, put them in the sink, and put the coffee pot back on its heating base. Then we went into the living room and sat down again. I started to say something, but he held up his hand and said,
"Let me tell you the rest of this. Then if you still have questions, you can go ahead and ask me, ok?"
"Okay." I responded. "That sounds all right to me."
"Well," he began. "Like I told you before, I am not the first 'Holly'. There were at least three or four others before me. The HEADLIGHTS chain has been around, nationally, for about 15 or 16 years so you do the math. Three years is the absolute top amount of time anyone can stay in the bodysuit without it becoming their real body and there has never been a 'real' Holly yet, so anyway, when you wear the suit, you basically become 'Holly' with all the proper attitudes, behavior, knowledge and habits a woman her age could and should have."
"Your sexual preference as 'Holly' are almost exclusively heterosexual, meaning you like men much better, but would consider 'seeing' a woman if the circumstances were right."
"I also told you that the only thing you can't do in the suit is get pregnant. There also seems to be some kind of built-in immunity type thing which means that STDs are not a worry, thank God. You are fully capable of having sex as a female and, as you saw last night, it is every bit as real and as satisfying as it would be for a woman who was born a woman. In fact, if I hadn't been very careful and very aware of who I really am, it would have been easy for me to get caught up in being 'Holly' and falling for some guy! No gynecologist in the world could tell the difference between me in the 'Holly' suit and a real woman, without an extensive and invasive examination including x-rays and MRIs."
He paused for a moment to take a sip of his coffee and I started to say something, but he held up his hand and stopped me.
"Let me finish before you start with any questions. Now, what I'm saying to you is simply this. While wearing the suit, you are 'Holly'. You have all the normal female responses and everything that goes with that. You experience life as a female with all that entails. Yes, before you ask, you even suffer from periods, although they aren't nearly as bad as they are for most real women. I do not know how all that is accomplished and I didn't really want to know. I knew that I could stop being 'Holly' anytime I wanted and if I did want to stop, I knew I could stop if I found someone to take my place. I wasn't 'trapped' in the suit in any way. The only considerations were, how much money did I want or need, and how long could I be 'Holly' before I began to forget who I really was."
"I knew too, that three years was the top limit of time before a real life decision would have to be made. Would I want to stay 'Holly' or would I return to my real life and pick up where I left off? I can tell you that I have had a real blast being 'Holly.' At first it was disconcerting to wake up in the morning and not recognize that person in the mirror, or to be brought up short passing a mirror and not seeing Eric, but 'Holly.' The programming tapes helped a lot but they took about a full week to be fully effective and I did slip more than once during that time, showing one aspect of Eric's behavior or another."
"Generally though, it was a painless adjustment and, after that first week, I just settled into being 'Holly' and didn't think about it any more. When I finally went out on a date with a guy, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to me. I was a woman and women date guys, normally speaking. It didn't seem strange of weird or anything like that. I just had a good time and that was it. What the tapes do is condition you to acting just like a real woman would without burying your real personality at all. You are still there in that oh so sexy shell. It just doesn't seem to bother you, being a woman that is."
"Now." He continued. "You do have to decide this very soon! If you're going to do this, you'll have to be at work, at HEADLIGHTS, by no later than Tuesday afternoon. You'll have to come up with some kind of story to tell your friends and family because you can't associate with them at all while you are 'Holly.' You'll have to quit the job you have now, and you'll have a blank space in your life for as long as you remain 'Holly'. That might be the hardest thing of all, I know it was for me. I had really good friends and a loving family before I started this and it hurt me, and them, to know that I wasn't going to be able to talk to them or even see them for as long as I stayed as 'Holly.' For me, the deciding factor was the amount of money I was going to be able to make and the sense of adventure I felt. Think of it, Jim."
"You will get to experience something that very few guys ever do. For however long you decide to do it, you are going to be a woman, a real woman in damn near every respect. What you learn, what you experience, will make you one of the world's foremost experts on women and what they want and need! You will know exactly how to turn them on and satisfy them because you will have experienced it for yourself! You will understand every aspect of a woman's life except for getting pregnant and giving birth. Now, the only other thing I have to tell you is this. Well actually it's two things."
"First of all, there is an adjustment period that you will experience, both in becoming 'Holly' and again, when you go back to being Jim. You probably noticed the way I was walking and the way I'm sitting and using my hands while I talk to you. I probably seem quite feminine to you. This will fade and, in about a week or so, I will have lost all the leftover behavior and I will be the same Eric I was before I started this adventure. The only thing I will have lost will be the time I spent as 'Holly' and that is only half of what it would have normally have been with respect to my actual age. As I told you, you only age at half the normal rate while you wear the suit."
"The other thing I have to tell you is this. If, for any reason, you don't decide to stay as 'Holly' for the full three years, there are a couple of things that can happen. If you find someone else to take over for you, you don't have anything to worry about. If you can't find someone to take over for you, are stuck as Holly for the length of your contract. If you try to run away or back out of the deal without finding a replacement, well, it's not pleasant, let me tell you. The people in charge need a certain commitment from anyone wearing and using their bodysuits and, considering the opportunity they are giving you and the financial gains you will get from this, they have a right to expect that commitment."
"They can and will lock you into the suit until you find someone to take over, or until your three years are up. They knew, last night, that I was going to make this offer to you and they unlocked me so I could prove what I was going to be telling you. You can also, at the end of the three years, if you want to remain as 'Holly', get a permanent lease on the suit. You DO have to remove it once every three years, but you can even get a 'loaner' for the week you need to spend out of your 'Holly' suit. Finally, in the event you do stay 'Holly' and actually become her, even get married as 'Holly' you can buy the suit and you will become 'Holly' for the rest of your life."
He stopped talking at that point and just looked at me, obviously waiting for me to ask questions, but to tell the truth, I didn't have any. He'd pretty much covered everything I could have thought of to ask. The only question in my mind right then was, 'Am I actually gonna do this?' We sat there drinking our coffee in silence for what seemed to be a long time. This was probably the biggest decision I had ever had to make and I knew that it would effect the rest of my life whichever way I decided. If I did take his offer, I would effectively become someone else for three whole years, although I could get out of it if I could find someone to take my place.
I'd live all the time inside that suit as a woman, experiencing virtually everything a woman would in her everyday life. If I didn't take his offer I would always have a secret I couldn't tell anyone, and I knew I would always wonder what might have been. I sat there thinking, even though I knew, deep inside what my choice was going to be. Finally I looked over at Eric and said,
"You knew what my answer was going to be before you even started telling me about this, didn't you? You knew that I wouldn't be able to resist having an experience that will easily be the most unique one in my life. Of course I will take your offer. I'll need some time to cook up some kind of story for my family and friends, though. It's about 4 in the afternoon now. Would tomorrow morning be too late to start my new life?"
"Hell no!" Eric said. "That'll be just fine. I'll call the club and let them know. You can start being "Holly" first thing in the morning and Ill show you how to use the programming tapes. You'll always be able to ask questions of the management and I will give you my private cell phone number so you'll always have me to talk to about any problems or anything you don't feel comfortable talking to management about. I can't tell you how happy this makes me Jim, and I know you're going to have more fun than the law allows over the next three years. You're also going to come out of this with over $100,000 dollars in your bank account, maybe more if you invest well."
We stood up and shook hands, then, feeling sort of foolish, but knowing it was the right thing to do, I grabbed him and hugged him, saying,
"I'm still really nervous and somewhat scared about this, but I'm going to go through with it. I want to thank you for giving me this opportunity. I'll never forget you, but can we pretend that last night never happened?"
Eric looked at me with a bit of surprise on his face, but then I smiled and said,
"Just kidding! Last night was part of what convinced me to do this. I realized today that, if you could fool me as well as you did last night when I thought I was making love to the most gorgeous woman I had ever met, then you had to be telling the truth about everything. I'll see you tomorrow morning and I won't let you down, Eric."
We parted as friends and I immediately went back to my apartment to begin making plans to disappear for what could be as much as three years or more. I knew it wouldn't be easy to convince my family and friends, but I also knew that it was something I'd have to do. There was no way I was going to miss out on this experience once I'd made up my mind to actually do it. I won't bother you with the details of what my plan was. I'll only say that it worked.
All my friends and my family knew that what I told them was something I had to do and that I would be all right and in no danger. I did have to promise them that I'd try to keep in touch as much as I could, but I also told them that there was a very good chance that I wouldn't be able to contact any of them until the time limit of three years was over. None of them were very happy about it, but the way I explained it to them, they believed that I would be in terrible danger if I was caught or found out while I was gone. Maybe someday I would tell them what I had actually been doing for all that time, but would they believe me?
I arrived at Eric/Holly's place bright and early the next morning. Was I nervous? Yes. Was I scared? Yes. Was I unsure as to whether or not I was actually gonna do this? No. The more I thought about it, and I had thought about it, all the previous evening and all night as well, the more certain I became that this was something I had to do. To pass up an opportunity like this would be, well, crazy.
Now I gotta tell you, in my whole life I had never, not once, ever considered becoming a woman nor had I ever had more than a casual curiosity about their clothes or stuff like that. I had never worn any female clothing and had never wanted to. I was happy as a lark being a guy. You know? Just one of the boys? However, now that this chance to see how the other half lives had fallen into my lap, how could I possibly refuse it? Answer: I couldn't.
I knocked on Eric's door and a few seconds later Eric opened it and greeted me like a long lost brother(sister now?) I entered and he offered me coffee or a soda while he finished getting things ready. He got me a Pepsi (don't ask! LOL) and then left the room headed for the bathroom saying,
"I've been soaking the suit for about three hours already, Jim. It should be just about ready for you to get into, but let me just check it. I'll be right back. You might as well go into the bedroom and remove your clothes. You can use the robe that's there to cover up with if you want, but it's the same one I was wearing yesterday, so if it would embarrass you, you can just come as you are!” and he laughed, but in a reassuring way, not a making fun of me way.
I took my Pepsi with me into the bedroom. Putting the soda down on the top of a dresser, I began removing my clothes. I looked at that robe, knowing it wouldn't cover me nearly well enough for my modesty, such as it was, but knowing it would fit me in a very sort while. 'Well, in for a penny', I thought and I took off all my clothes, folding them for some reason, and placed them on the bed.
Then I picked up that robe and, with a mental shrug, put it on. I felt a shiver go down my spine as that silky garment settled over my shoulders and down my body. I'd never felt anything on my body that was so soft and well....smooth. It felt almost weightless and yet, at the same time, very heavy. Of course it came nowhere near to covering me, but I could close the front of it enough to hide my, um, endowments? Also, one of those aforementioned endowments seemed to like the feeling of that robe, because it was growing!
Now this was something I had never experienced before, this being turned on by a piece of clothing. Oh I'd heard about it, but I'd never had it happen to me. Of course I had never tried on any clothing that was meant for a female before either. It came to me right then that maybe there was something to all those stores I'd heard about where men liked to wear women's clothes because it was a turn on for them. I was kind of lost in those thoughts when I heard Eric calling me from the bathroom.
"Jim? Jim? Are you in there? This thing is ready anytime you are."
I shook myself mentally and left the bedroom, going into the bathroom, where Eric was waiting for me with a smile on his face. He looked at me and said,
"That robe is soft, isn't it? I figured you must have zoned out a bit when you put it on because I called you three times before you answered! Don't worry about it, the same thing happened to me the first time _I_ tried it on. I think it's just something that happens when men first try on something like that. It doesn't seem to matter whether or not they have ever thought about it before. There's just something very sensual about those kinds of fabrics. Well, are you ready to do this?" and he pointed at the bodysuit, immersed in water in the bathtub.
It looked, well, kinda strange. It was just laying there in the water, sort of empty looking I guess. Eric looked at me and I looked at it. He said,
"Well, let's get to it. I'll help you with it as much as I can, but it's really a one "man" job." and he chuckled a bit. "All you need to do is take off that robe and use this powder all over your body, making certain you get it everywhere, even inside your, uh, rectum. If you don't get yourself completely covered you'll find it very uncomfortable and it'll take longer for the suit to adjust you. It'll also be much more difficult to remove the suit when you want to or need to, no matter how long a time you wear it."
"When you're done with that, drain the tub and step in. Take the suit and put it on just like you'd think you would do it, inserting your feet first and then pull it up to your waist, putting your equipment in the places you'll find. Then call me and I'll come back in to help you the rest of the way if you need it."
He gave me a reassuring pat on the back and left the bathroom. I picked up the powder he'd indicated and began to dust myself with it, paying particular attention to the areas around my privates and my uh, rear, as he had told me to do. The last thing I needed at this point was any difficulties with this. I pulled the plug from the tub so the water could drain out while I was powdering myself. When I was done with the powder and the water had drained out of the tub, I stepped into the tub and picked up the suit by its shoulders.
Being very careful because the tub was a little bit slippery, I eased one foot into a leg of the suit. I thought it would be difficult to force my large foot and leg into it, but it seemed to go in as if it were greased. I worked my foot all the way in and saw that the suit had separate toes and my toes went right into the corresponding toes of the suit.
I pulled it up to about my calf and then stepped into the other leg. Again I got that greasy feeling and my foot slid right in, toes and all. I pulled the suit up to near my waist and started looking for the places to put my privates. I found them, but I was not certain about this so I called Eric in.
He entered, saying,
"I thought you might have a little difficulty with that. Let me show you exactly what you need to do. Now your penis goes into this tube. Make sure it's all the way in and seated firmly. Your testicles go back here," and he showed me a small pouch, "and make certain that they are comfortable in there before you go any farther. When the suit begins to tighten up on you, you want to be sure that nothing gets pinched. The suit won't work properly if that happens and it'll take longer because you'll have to take it partially off to re-adjust things."
I followed Eric's instructions, finding it easy to do it right. My penis just slid right into that tube and it seated firmly just like He had told me it had to. My testicles fit right into that little pouch too, although it took a little adjusting to get them in there comfortably. Curiously, I didn't feel shy or embarrassed to be doing this in front of Eric. When I got that done, he told me to just pull it up past my waist and then to insert my hands and arms into the arms of the suit. Again I was struck by that 'greasy' feeling of the inside of the suit and I mentioned that to Eric. He explained, saying,
" That's why you needed to be so careful with that powder, Jim. When it's exposed to water and the suit is at the right temperature, it changes into a lubricating gel, making it much easier to get the suit on in the first place, and making it easier to get the suit off later. No matter how long you wear the suit, up to three years, the gel retains its viscosity keeping the suit from sticking to your skin when you remove it."
"Now", he continued, "do the same with your hands and arms that you did with your feet and legs. Make sure your fingers go all the way into the corresponding fingers of the suit and are firmly seated before you go further. Once you have done both arms, just shrug your shoulders while holding your arms as high as you can and the suit will slid right up over your shoulders. Make sure that the head and hair remain clear. When you get that far, I'll probably have to help you a little bit because we'll have to use that powder all over your head and your hair. Um, Jim? There is one little thing I didn't mention, but now that you're this far into this, no pun intended, I will. The powder is a lubricant, but it's also a very powerful depilatory. It will literally dissolve your hair from all over your body and your head in a matter of seconds, allowing the headpiece to seal properly over your own head. When you finally remove the suit, it will take only a couple of days for your hair to grow back, so don't worry about that."
Well, I did as Eric told me and got the suit up over my shoulders and positioned properly, with the head and hair part hanging down my back. So far this felt like putting on a scuba suit. I could feel it all over my body and it was very tight in some places, but loose in others. I mentioned this to Eric and he said,
"Don't worry about that either, Jim. When the head part is finally in position there will be a short space of time where nothing will happen. Then, the suit will begin to tighten on you, but don't panic. That's what it's designed to do. It might seem, at the time, that it's getting too tight, but don't forget, this suit has to make you fit into its shape. It won't hurt, I promise. Now, close your eyes. I've gotta work this powder into your hair and all over your face and neck. You could do this yourself, but it's easier if someone help with it. Don't open your eyes under any circumstances until I tell you to, ok? You don't want this stuff in your eyes, trust me!"
I did as he instructed. I could feel him rubbing the stuff all through my hair and then all over my face and neck. It was a somewhat disturbing feeling to have another guy rubbing my face and hair, but Eric hadn't made any advances of any kind toward me since he had started taking that suit off, so I forced myself to stand still and allow this familiarity. He was as good as his word. He didn't miss a single spot, including up my nostrils and even inside my ears! He even spread the stuff between my lips, warning me to not swallow any of it.
"If you do get any of this in your mouth", he said, "don't swallow! Just hold it in your mouth until we finish getting the head part over your head and then you can spit it out, ok? This is really important, Jim. If you do swallow any of this stuff, it'll give you the worst case of Montezuma's revenge you ever heard of. You won't be able to get more than 20 feet away from a bathroom for two days!"
Well, I got the message and, even though he did get some of it inside my mouth, I kept it there until I was able to spit it out, later. After he was done with the powder, he said,
"Now Jim, grab hold of the head piece and pull it up over the back of your head and down over your face. I'll help you get your ears inserted properly and also help get it placed just right. I wish the 'Holly' before me had helped me this much. She, or he rather, just told me what to do and left me to do it all by myself. Okay, now let me get your ears situated right...there we go."
I felt my ears get scrunched up as I pulled the face down over my own and then I felt Eric re-position my ears so they fit much better inside the head of the suit.
"Okay now, Jim." Eric continued. "Now you have got to be careful here. You must stretch the face to fit down over your chin and then down your neck so it meets the torso part. I'll help you but don't let go of the edge of the head part until I tell you to, ok? We'll have to move things around until the mask fits exactly right around your nose, lips and chin. Once we get past your chin, it'll get easier, but remember, don't let go until I say you can."
Well, we pulled and stretched and moved things around. That mask was tight on my own face and I wondered if this was really gonna work at all! It felt like my whole face was being squished and flattened. Eric really helped a lot, though. With his help, we finally got the thing down over my chin and stretched it down over my neck until I could feel the torso part of the suit. Then Eric took hold of the neck part and told me I could let go. I did and I felt him stretch it down to meet the torso. He fiddled around with it for a few seconds and then I heard him say, in a satisfied tone of voice,
"There! That's got that part of it. Now I need to make sure everything around your face, ears, nose and mouth are fitted properly, Jim so don't move any more than you absolutely have to, okay?"
I nodded, not being able to talk with that stuff still in my mouth and then Eric began pushing and kneading the mask until I could feel it intrude slightly into my nose ears and mouth. He smoothed everything down and then paid extra attention around my mouth and nose.
"This part is kinda tricky, Jim." He said. "If we don't get a perfect fit here it'll hurt when this thing finally tightens up on you."
I could feel the mask begin to stick to my face. Apparently that powder was multi-functional, serving as both lubricant and a mild glue. I could also feel the lips cover and stick to my own.
"Okay Jim." Eric then said. "Here we go. I'm going to seal the back part of the head and very shortly after I do that you will begin to feel the suit tightening. Don't panic. Like I told you before, it doesn't hurt, but it will feel very weird. You ready?"
I nodded again, and I felt Eric's fingers playing around at the back of my head and then I heard something like the sound that a zipper makes. Almost immediately things began to happen. First around my face and then all over my body, I could feel the suit tightening up. Eric was right. It didn't hurt, but it felt like thousands of little fingers were pushing and pulling and prodding me everywhere. I felt it tighten up on my waist particularly, almost as if someone were pulling the laces on a corset. Things got really tight and then I noticed the most peculiar thing!
The suit began to feel like it was being removed. I mean, one second I could feel it on my skin like that scuba suit I mentioned earlier, and the next second I couldn't feel it anymore! In a very few minutes, I couldn't feel the suit on my skin anywhere at all. It felt as if I was naked and I could feel air on my skin. For a second I felt like something must have gone wrong and I was tempted to swallow that stuff in my mouth so I could speak to Eric, but then I heard him say,
"Go ahead and spit that stuff out, Holly. We're done here. You can open your eyes too."
I opened my eyes and then I turned around to spit that stuff out. When I did that, I could feel long hair brushing on my shoulders and neck and it fell around my face! I spat that stuff out and grabbed hold of the hair to throw it away from my face, but when I did, I could feel it pulling on my scalp. I looked sideways and down and then down a little further and I saw breasts sticking out of my chest! I could feel their weight pulling me forward and I could also feel my body shifting to a new balance point. My hips went backward and my shoulders pulled back as I seemed to be automatically adjusting.
All of a sudden, I felt light headed and I could tell I was gonna black out. I began to feel a tightening sensation all over my body and head, and within a very short time, it became a crushing feeling. I couldn't breathe and I know I blacked out then, but as I began to fall I felt Eric's arms catching me and easing me to the floor. Eric told me later that I did pass out for a few seconds, but he had expected that and that's why he was right there to catch me.
When I came to I was still on the floor with Eric looking down at me, a concerned look on his face.
"Are you okay, Holly?" He asked. "The same thing happened to me when I first put that suit on, but Frank wasn't there to catch me. I damn near bashed my brains out on the corner of the sink, and I had bruises for three days! Do you feel okay now? Can you get up?"
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak just then. He helped me to my feet and then steadied me until I got my sea legs back. I was facing the mirror over the bathroom sink and, when I raised my eyes to that mirror, I almost fainted again. There, looking back at me was Holly! I mean every single thing I remembered about her face was staring back at me with wide, frightened looking eyes. I gasped and when I did that, I heard her voice and saw her mouth open and close! I looked around and there was Eric, grinning at me.
"Quite a shock, isn't it, Jim?" He asked. "Believe me I know exactly how you feel right now. You're confused, scared, shocked and worried. Well, don't be. Everything went perfectly. The suit couldn't have functioned any better than it did and the results are, well, spectacular. I'd forgotten what that body looks like from the outside. I got so used to seeing that shape in mirrors that I barely looked at it anymore except to check to see if my makeup was smudged or if my hair was out of place." He chuckled.
"I think I'd better get out of here and let you begin to get to know your new body, Holly. I'm starting to get turned on and you aren't ready for that yet. I'll be in the kitchen thinking pure thoughts. When you're ready, there are some clothes in the top drawer of the dresser in the bedroom. They're just pants and a blouse so you shouldn't feel too uncomfortable in them, but you will have to wear the proper undergarments, my dear. They're right there with the rest. If you have any trouble with any of them, sing out and I'll be more than glad to assist you in your dressing." He bowed and left the bathroom, still chuckling a bit.
I stood there in front of that mirror for what seemed like an eternity. Time seemed to slow down and I was absolutely lost in that mirror. Intellectually I knew that this was going to be the result of getting into this suit, but actually seeing it move and knowing that _I_ was responsible for the movements was downright wild! I tried out my voice after a few moments but it sounded so high and so wrong coming out of my mouth that I stopped after just a few words. This was gonna take a lot of getting used to, I thought.
After a few more minutes I left the bathroom and headed for the bedroom. Even walking was so different from what I was used to. This body seemed to have a mind of it's own where locomotion was concerned. Body parts moved this way and that completely at odds with the way I wanted them to move. My breasts (my breasts?) were bouncing up and down and swaying from side to side with every step and my ass? Well, I couldn't control that at all! How the hell do women do this walking thing anyway? With all the side to side motion, I was amazed that I made any forward progress at all.
I finally made it to the bedroom and opened the dresser drawer to find the clothing that Eric said was there. It was. Pants and a blouse, huh? 'Eric you bastard!' I thought to myself. Capri pants and a shorty blouse that tied under one's breasts! Then there was the underwear. A lacy black bra with a tiny red rose appliquéd in the center between the cups and a pair of hi-cut black panties that looked like they wouldn't hide anything at all!
"Eric! You sunofabitch! I screamed. "How the hell do you expect me to wear this stuff? Damn! This shit is way too femmy for me! Oh man, I will get you for this!"
Well, I was angry. As I said before, I'd never ever in my life worn things like this and I didn't even know how to put some of it on! I looked into the closet to see if there was anything less, well, girly to wear, but all I could find was some really sexy looking stuff. I mean miniskirts and crop tops and boob tubes and dresses were all I could see. The dresser drawers yielded pretty much the same results. Just a lot of lacy, skimpy bras, panties and slips. Oh and a couple of what they call bustieres I think. Little things with lacy cups and clips and laces for tightening the damn things up on a person.
Well, since there was nothing else in the room that was less sexy looking than the stuff that Eric left for me to wear, I figured that I'd better give this my best shot. At least, from what I had seen so far, this body was gonna look damn good in these clothes. I just didn't know if _I_ was ready to look that good in them. After a bit of time and a lot of tussling with those damn capri pants, (damn they were tight!) not to mention the damned bra which fought me every step of the way, I emerged from the bedroom, dressed and angry! I stomped to the kitchen where I found Eric calmly reading the newspaper and drinking some coffee!
"Eric!" I screamed again. "You could have helped me with this crap! Jesus! It's not like I've ever done this before you know! How the hell did you expect me to get this stuff on the right way anyway?"
I was sputtering and fuming and Eric was just sitting there, reading and drinking his coffee as if I wasn't even there! After a few minutes of this, he calmly put down the paper, took a final sip of his coffee and stood up, turning to face me. The expression on his face was serene and unconcerned and that was just making me more furious!
I stepped forward and got ready to throw a punch at him. He casually grabbed my fist before it ever landed on his face, and held it there as if I was no more than a child! I raised my other hand but he grabbed it as well and held it the same way. I screamed, I tried to kick him, I even tried to bite him, I was so angry, but he just stood there through it all, not letting me hurt him, but not hurting me either.
Eventually I got tired and very frustrated at not being able to do any damage to him. I sagged a bit, still in his grip and then he did something I had never considered. He kissed me! I mean he pulled me into his arms, locked them around me and laid a lip lock on me that I couldn't even begin to break out of! I could feel his lips mashing against me and then his tongue began to try to force it's way into my mouth! Well, I panicked. I just lost it altogether.
I struggled, I fought, I did everything I could think of, but nothing I tried worked at all to get me free from this. Finally I just let myself go limp with Eric holding all my weight. He finally broke the kiss and looked me straight in my eyes. Then he spoke, softly.
"Holly." He said. "Just relax now. I'm not going to do anything other than that kiss and I only did that to prove something to you. You are Holly now and you don't have the strength to resist a man who really wants you. You had to learn that fact the same way _I_ did. That was your first real lesson in being a woman. The rest will come from the tapes and from actually doing the things a woman does every day of her life.
You can't go on inertia from your male life. You have to leave that life behind you for as long as you are Holly! Getting angry over a few pieces of clothing and trying to hit someone won't work anymore. I know you're upset and angry, but you have to learn to handle those feelings in a different way now. The tapes will teach you a lot of that, but nothing works quite as well as the real deal. Now sit down, calm down, have some coffee and a chill pill.”
He plunked me down at the kitchen table and got me a cup of coffee. Then he moved off into the living room, I guess to let me cool off. I didn't know quite what to feel right then. I was still angry, although not as angry as I had been, but more than that, I was scared. I'd never been manhandled that way in my whole life. Whenever I got in a fight I gave as good or better than what I got. To have a guy, a guy!, grab me and hold me absolutely helpless the way Eric had just done, and then to be kissed like that, was embarrassing to say the least. I was beginning to have serious doubts about this whole thing.
Well, I finished that cup of coffee, almost scared of what Eric might do if I didn't, and calmed down a lot. I was still shaking, but I think that was more from the panic than from any anger I might still have had. While I sat there thinking, I realized some things. First of all, Eric was right. I couldn't go on trying to handle things the way I would if I was a man. He'd just shown me that, in spades.
Second, and maybe even more important, for the next three years or so, I would essentially be a woman, with all the pitfalls and problems inherent to the gender. I had to accept that and learn to deal with it. I knew that Eric wouldn't take advantage of me and I also knew that he would help me all he could. That calmed me down more than anything else could have.
Finally I got up from that table, walked into the living room and stood in front of Eric who was watching the TV. He shut it off and looked up at me, waiting for something. I looked right into his eyes and said,
"I'm sorry, Eric. I had no right to get so angry over what amounted to nothing, really. I was stressed out by all that has happened in the last couple of hours and I took it out on you. Can you forgive me?" He sat there, looking at me, seemingly trying to see into my head and my mind. Then he said,
"Yes, Holly, I can forgive you, because I've been there too! You have to remember that I was where you are right now! I've lived the very same things you are going through and more. I want to help you to be the best Holly that you can be, maybe even better than _I_ was, although I was a damn good Holly. It seems like you learn fast and that's very good. You have a lot to learn in a very short time. The tapes will take care of the skills and things like that, but as far as handling men, and you will have to learn how to do that, you will have to do that at your own pace. Just remember, you have some of the most powerful weapons for doing that, that any woman could have. You are gorgeous, stacked and sexy. Those three things alone will take you a long way, but you need to develop what I call the 'vamp' attitude. I'll help you begin the trip to find that, but you'll have to complete the trip on your own. You can do it, I know you can."
"Now," he continued, let's get those tapes and get you started. This'll take the rest of today and most of tomorrow. All you have to do is relax and let the music take you away. There is subliminal programming all through these tapes and you are gonna learn everything you ever wanted to know and more, about how to use makeup, wear the sexy clothes, move in ways calculated to drive men to distraction and flirt until you have men's tongues hanging out, drooling on the floor. Now let's get going, woman!"
With that, Eric got up from his chair and left the room, returning a few minutes later with what looked like a video game console and several games. He explained how to use them and hooked it up for me, then he left the room. While I was still getting settled in a chair and putting what looked like headphones on my head, he returned, only he was fully dressed and wearing a baseball cap. He told me that he was going out for awhile and would lock the door on his way out. He said he'd return in a few hours to take me to dinner!
After Eric left, having explained to me the way to use the tapes and the order in which to view them, I got up from the chair and grabbed a Pepsi(TM) from the fridge and just sat and thought for a bit.
I was still in Jim mode, for the most part, at least mentally, and my thoughts were mostly about how I was feeling and the way my new body felt. I guess the most immediate thing was the way my new breasts felt and the lack of something between my legs. Surprisingly, although I felt the loss there, it didn't feel all that strange! I mean, yeah I missed the feeling of something there, but it didn't seem to be affecting me all that much. I knew that I should have been freaking out, but instead there was a kind of, well, acceptance I guess you could say.
Let's put it this way. When I got up from the chair to go to the fridge, I noticed the weight hanging from my chest and the way my hips and legs moved differently. I seemed to be placing one foot almost directly in front of the other, without even thinking about it. It felt.....unusual to not have anything in the way of the motion of my legs, enabling me to move that way without pinching something. It was more noticeable when I sat back down, though. When I did that, the first thing I noticed was that I folded both legs under me and it didn't seem uncomfortable at all. In fact, it seemed very comfortable!
I had also noticed that my arms seemed to swing further from my sides than they usually did and when I noticed that, I picked my arms up from my sides to avoid doing that, but when I did, I found that, while I was bending my arms at the elbows like I'd always done, my hands seemed to just flop down so that the backs of my hands were facing forward.
When I noticed that, I kind of got a bit flustered and I couldn't figure out what to do with my arms and hands then! I kind of, well, fluttered around for a bit until I remembered that I was there to get a Pepsi(TM) and I kind of focused on that instead of what to do with my appendages. I was back in the chair with my legs folded under me before I even remembered that I had been worrying about my arms and hands.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was noticing the little things much more than the big things. I mean, I still had two arms, two legs, one head(no smart comments, please!)one torso, etc. I was only missing(as it were)three relatively small things and had gained two other, again relatively small things although they didn't look small from my vantage point, staring down at them.
I sat there for a few minutes, pondering these things while I drank my soda. Again, like I said, these things didn't bother me nearly as much as I thought they would, or should. I was more curious than anything, I guess, than I was concerned.
Well, ‘no time like the present' I thought to myself. I got up and wandered back into the bathroom, shedding clothes as I went. By the time I got there I was only wearing the bra and the panties, again noticing the way I walked, but not really trying to influence the general way I was walking, just ‘going with the flow'. I stepped in front of the large mirror mounted on the wall and just looked at my new self. I mean, I just looked. What I saw, reflected in that mirror was an image designed to stop traffic. An image solely meant to titillate and fascinate men!
Long blonde hair that literally flowed down my back to a point somewhere between my shoulder blades and my (ahem) behind, topped a lovely face with an absolutely flawless complexion. Full slightly pink lips, high, elegant cheekbones, wide and seemingly endlessly deep blue eyes and a nose too beautiful to be insulted by being called ‘cute'.
Following my neck down, led me to my breasts. What can I say about them?
In my life, I had seen many breasts...some large, some small. Those that I now possessed were just perfect for the body upon which they rested, although ‘rested' might be the wrong operative word. They seemed to move out of proportion with the slightest motion of my body. They jiggled, they swayed, they bounced(which fact I learned by trying it. (Again, no wisecracks, please.) I mean, they were right there, I had to try that, right? They were sensitive too, as I found out while ummmm, examining them. The slightest brush of a finger caused strange tremors through my body and, when I accidentally touched one of my nipples, I damn near came right up off the floor! I'd never felt anything like that before!
Anyway, deciding that I didn't want to repeat that experience again, at least not right now I didn't, I moved further down this female body I found myself ensconced in, finding that my ribcage flowed smoothly down to a trim and flat tummy to a narrow waist and then flared suddenly outwards to a pair of wide hips. The kind of hips that are called ‘child bearing', I believe.
Looking behind me I found a behind that was beyond beautiful. It was round, it was smooth, it was mine! At least for the next three years, it was mine. Below that were a pair of legs that men would probably fall all over themselves just to look at, let alone touch. The feet? Well, I have always been an aficionado of women's feet. I find, or found them incredibly sexy with their painted toenails and cute little toes and high arches. These feet, that I now owned, were no exception. Rather, they were the rule!
So, taken part by part, this new home of mine was amazing. Taken as a whole, it was beyond anything I could have ever imagined myself being inside of and in control of! I just stood there, admiring myself for a few minutes before it even dawned on me that I was not being weirded out by it. Rather, I thought I was flat-out gorgeous and I was proud of the image staring back at me from that mirror.
I was posing there for quite awhile, doing all those cutesey-poo, sexy poses that one sees in those men's magazines, and cracking myself up, before I remembered that I was supposed to be viewing those tapes.
I quickly got dressed again, not noticing that I had no trouble with the bra or anything else, and I scooted myself back out into the living room and inserted the first tape into the player. I put the headphones on and started the tape, relaxing back into that chair. I seemed to just kind of drift off into some kind of trance or something and, when I finally came back, I saw, to my surprise, that 45 minutes had passed and the tape was rewinding! I couldn't even remember what I had watched or listened to, only that I had been almost hypnotized by the music that I had heard upon starting that tape.
I took a sip from my now warm Pepsi(TM) and just sat there. Finally I got up and took out the tape that had been playing, noticing that it was titled: 'Movement And Deportment'. For some reason, I suddenly felt uncomfortable in the tennis shoes I was wearing. I felt, well, unfeminine! I took them off and went back to the bedroom where I found a pair of heels that I thought might look good with what I was wearing (though I can't tell you how I thought they would go well) and slipped them on my feet.
I took a few steps, expecting to fall on my face or my butt, but instead I seemed to be right at home in those 3 inch heels and had no difficulty walking in them. Something didn't seem quite right though, but I didn't know what it might be so I went back into the living room and inserted the next tape in the stack, into the player, noticing that it was titled:
'Clothing For Every Occasion And How To Wear It.'
Again, as before, I sort of ‘zoned out' and came to about 45 minutes later. It was then that I realized that I shouldn't be wearing these heels! Not without some hose! I quickly found some pantyhose and slipped them on with no trouble. Then I re-shod myself with those heels and found that it felt much better! My goodness, what could I have been thinking?
One simply doesn't wear heels without some kind of hose! It not only makes them easier to slip on and off, it also protects the shoes from damage from oils and perspiration. Any young girl knows that!
That settled, I went back to the living room and found the next tape, titled: 'Makeup For Every Occasion And How To Apply It', and inserted it into the player. About 45 minutes later, I woke from my little, now familiar, trance as the tape was rewinding. I took a sip from my soda, now totally warm and tasteless, and got up to dump the rest of it into the kitchen sink. I passed by a wall mounted mirror on the way to the sink and was shocked to see that I had no makeup on!
I quickly dumped the soft drink and hurried to the bedroom where I sat down at the vanity and began to remedy this intolerable situation! What could I have been thinking? No girl goes out with less than a little foundation, some lipstick, and a bit of mascara, even in broad daylight! I found everything I needed and, several minutes later, I looked at the woman in the mirror who looked much better now that she was wearing proper makeup for daytime, casual living. Of course, if I were to go out for any reason, I'd have to ‘liven' my look up with a little more mascara and perhaps some blush and eyeshadow. Nothing major, you understand, just the bare essentials for any beautiful woman.
PRESENT TIME INTERLUDE:
I know you've noticed that I seemed to take all these changes fully in stride without the slightest bit of hesitation. That's quite true and there's no doubt about it. I never even noticed that my behavior was changing as I watched those tapes. The things I did to improve my female image came directly from those tapes and, at the time, I didn't think anything about them. I only found them amazing afterwards.
NOW BACK TO OUR STORY.
I flounced back into the living room and inserted the next tape, titled: 'Flirting For Fun And Profit.' When I came out of my little ‘trance' the tape was rewinding and Eric was sitting in a chair opposite me. I got up sexily and sauntered over to him, swinging my behind for all it was worth. I sashayed right up to him and knelt down in front of him, caressing his legs as I knelt. I purred at him,
"Well, hi there! It's about time you got back. I was getting so lonely here all by myself. Can I get you anything, Eric dear? I know! How about a little drink? Or would you rather have some coffee? Maybe a soft drink? You just name it and I'll fetch it for you, honey. Maybe you'd rather have a drink of....me?"
Eric stood up, taking me along with him and held me at arm's length. He was so handsome and strong!
"Not right now, Holly. Maybe later if you're good. Right now we still have a lot of work to do. You've got to finish those tapes and I've got to go make myself a bit more manly. I bought some clothes and a hairpiece, along with some paste-on eyebrows. If I'm going to go out with you tonight, I want to look as much like my old self as I can. I have the feeling that you are gonna look just great and I don't want you to be embarrassed by being seen with a Yul Brynner lookalike. Now you just sit your cute little behind down in that chair and watch the next tape while I go make myself look more like I should look, ok?"
I pouted prettily and swayed back and forth.
"Okay." I replied. But we could have some fun here instead of going out and having to share you with all the other girls who'll be out there hunting tonight. I can be loads of fun, you know?"
"Yes, I know, Holly." Eric said. "Don't forget, it's not that long ago that I was you, remember?"
A light went on in my head just then. A light that told me that I wasn't acting like myself, but was acting like a little bubble headed blonde flirt! Holy shit! That was the first time I had any conscious indication of what those tapes could do, no, had done to a person! Embarrassed? Hell yes I was embarrassed!
"Eric!" I said. "My God, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just saw you there in that chair and you looked so sexy and handsome and.....male, and I couldn't help myself, and.....I'm doing it again, aren't I? Jesus, Eric! How do I turn this shit off? I'm feeling things for you and about you that I shouldn't be, aren't I?'
"No Holly. You're acting and feeling pretty much what you should be right now. Those tapes are extremely powerful training tools and they work very well indeed. What you're feeling right now is pure Holly. The feelings taught to you by the tapes are very strong in the first few hours. They'll grow less powerful as time passes, but they will never totally leave you. You'll be able to control them much better with the passage of a little time, and then, when you review your tapes once a month, you'll find that you won't feel things so strongly, but will rather just have your knowledge re-enforced as it were."
"You'll still act in a very feminine way as befits a little sexpot like Holly, but you'll have much more control as time goes by. For now, I won't take advantage of you and your new feelings. I know how strong they are, as I went through them myself. Now scoot! Get back there in your chair and watch the next tape while I get myself maleified." And he slapped me on the behind as he said that.
"Oh pooh!" I pouted at his back. "You're no fun at all! You just wait! I'll show you."
I slouched back to my chair, stopping to insert the next tape, titled: 'Dancing And Social Behavior.' When I came out of my ‘trance' I found Eric watching me with an amused look on his face.
"Well, Holly." He said, questioningly. “How do you like your little training sessions?"
"Why Eric!" I replied in a low breathy tone. “I like them just fine! I'm learning so much and it's kinda fun, y'know? I mean, I just take these little catnaps," and here I streeeeetched sexily, "and when I wake up, I know a whole bunch of things I didn't know before. For example," I continued, "I've learned just how to turn you on and I can't wait to try it out on you, you poor, helpless, little man you."
I got up from my chair and practically stalked over to stand in front of Eric, one hand on my hip and the other just waving around at my side, almost like a stripper would do.
I bent at the waist, towards Eric and pursed my lips at him, inviting him to kiss me, but he just sat there, looking at me with a grin on his face! I moved a little closer and was just inches from kissing him when he suddenly said:
"Extreme Holly, Off!"
I woke up just inches from Eric's face, my lips pursed as if I were waiting for a kiss, amazed and frightened by where I was and what I seemed to be doing. Well, I say I ‘woke up'. In reality, I was not really ‘asleep' as such. I mean, I was aware of what I was doing and how I was acting all the time. It was more that I wasn't concerned about acting the way I had been. I was a sexy looking woman, wasn't I? What was more normal than a sexy woman putting her moves on a good looking guy, right?
Except............when Eric said those words, "Extreme Hollly, Off!", I suddenly became completely aware of what I was doing and how I was acting. I wasn't really embarrassed by it, but I was surprised and a little scared by it.
"Eric!" I said in a slightly shaky tone of voice. "Holy shit! What was I just doing? That's scary, man. Why was I acting like that? Can I control it or will I act like that all the time around men? I don't know if I can handle this if I can't control how I act."
"He replied, saying,
"Holly, just relax. I already told you that, at first, the emotions and all the knowledge you're getting from the tapes is hard to control, that's why there's a ‘turn-off" phrase. After you've been Holly for a couple of days and the knowledge has had a chance to ‘settle in' you'll find it much easier to control your emotions and actions. Until then, I will be right here with you to make sure you don't get yourself in trouble, or get involved in anything you don't really want right now or can't handle right now."
"I'm going to be with you right up until Tuesday when you start at HEADLIGHTS, to make certain that you get every bit of knowledge you need and to make sure you can handle yourself properly, so just chill out and watch the last tape. It's the one you'll need to be able to handle your new job the way Holly is supposed to be able to. When you're done with this one, you can go and get a bath and change to go out for the evening. Trust me, okay? I'm not going to let you get yourself in too deep, but there are still some things you have to learn the old way, by experiencing them. Extreme Holly, on!"
Again, I pooh poohed him and went back to my chair after putting in the last tape in the stack. This one was titled: Work Etiquette, Ethics, And Performance(Co-Worker Identification and Friends((Boyfriends)) On And Off Duty Behavior.
When the final tape was completed and I was sitting there, letting all the new information percolate into my tired little brain, I began to get the idea that I needed a bath. I mean I really needed a bath! I got up from the chair and gathered all the tapes together, putting them into a carrying case, in order, then I carried the case back into the bedroom and stored it in the closet in a lock box. Then I hunted up a fresh bra and some matching panties and my robe. I marched into the bathroom, calling out to Eric,
"I'm going to be in the tub, honey. Do we have reservations or can we be fashionably late?"
"No problem, Holly." He called back. “Our reservations aren't for another three hours. I wanted to make sure you had time to view and begin to process, all the information you had to get through today. Remember, tonight is going to be another little test for you as Holly. I'll be right there with you to make sure things go right and that you don't get yourself in over your head, though, so don't worry about anything, okay?"
"Okay lover." I called back. "This should be interesting. My first bath as Holly and my first night out. Wheeeee! Don't get lonesome out there without me, ok, honey?"
"Oh, go get your bath, woman!" He replied, mock testily. "I'll be just fine out here all by myself, but don't take forever in there, okay? You've still got to choose your outfit for the night and do your hair and makeup. No more than 30 minutes in the tub, you hear me, young lady?"
"Yes, Daddy." I replied. "I hear you just fine. You know, you can't rush beauty! It'll take however long it takes, and if we're late, well then we'll be late. We can always go somewhere else if we're too late to make our reservations, but I will try to be on time. Kiss Kiss!" And I closed the door of the bathroom.
Now I know a lot of you are gonna be expecting a load of details here about my first bath and all the preparations, but you're gonna be disappointed, sorry. I'm trying not to turn this into a full length novel! Sheesh!
I finished my bath and sat down at my vanity to do my makeup for the evening. I knew that I needed to go a little more dramatic with it since light would be low and I wanted to look my very best. I just sat there and applied it like I'd been doing it all my life! When I was finished, I got up to choose a dress for the night.
I passed up a lot of fancy looking gowns and went, instead, with what is called the "Classic LBD" Little Black Dress, that is. It was very nice, but understated. I didn't want my clothing to overshadow my 'natural' beauty. I chose jewelry that would enhance my simple, but elegant look, just little diamond earrings that dangled a little bit, a choker necklace and bracelet with a matching little feminine watch, and a couple of small rings. Nothing showy.
For some reason, I wanted the attention to be on Eric, not on me.
I didn't know it at the time, but that was part of the ‘programming' on those tapes. They were designed to make me WANT to have my ‘date' or whoever I was with, be the one getting the attention.
When I finally glided out of the bedroom on the 4 inch black stiletto heels I'd decided to wear, (well, not ALL the attention should be on the guy, right?) I looked like a million dollars and it showed in Eric's eyes when he saw me. He stared for a moment and then he actually wolf whistled!
"Wow!" He expostulated. "I'd forgotten just how good Holly looks from the outside. You look magnificent! You forget, after wearing that suit for awhile, just how really beautiful Holly really is. Whew."
I preened under Eric's praise, glad I had done a good job and pleased that he thought I looked pretty. I did a couple of turns for him, showing off the dress and how well it fit me, not to mention how good it looked on me. I felt very relaxed and good about how I looked and wasn't a bit concerned about going outside the apartment for the first time, fully dressed as a woman.
I was only looking forward to having a nice evening with a good looking man and getting a good dinner out of the deal, besides. It's good to be pretty!
Eric looked at me, proudly and I looked back at him. There were a lot of emotions chasing each other around in my head just then, not the least of which was how good I felt about going out with such a good looking guy. He seemed very nice and I knew I could look forward to a wonderful and maybe even a romantic evening. He extended his arm to me after we grabbed out coats, (mine was Mink!)and I put my hand through his arm and off we went.
He locked the door behind us and, as we started down the stairs, he said,
"Extreme Holly Off!"
'Extreme Holly Off?' I thought to myself. 'Why?'
I turned to Eric, about to ask him that very question, but as I did, he took my hand, placed it in the crook of his arm, and began walking towards his, I mean Holly's, damn it, I guess I mean my car now! Well, I had no real choice so I followed him, noticing as I did that my body moved in a completely different way than it ever had before. My hips were swinging back and forth, my other hand, the one Eric didn't have control of, was holding the strap of the purse which was hung on my shoulder. My feet seemed to place themselves in a more or less straight line, one almost directly in front of the other instead of offset, like I used to do.
Eric's actions put my question off for a little while and, as he helped me into the car on the driver's side, I became too busy to remember to ask it right then. I noticed that I slid into the seat with no problems and no undue flashes of long legs or undergarments to the rest of the world at large. I then lifted and slid my legs, heels and all, into the car, swiveling around so I was facing the front of the car, all without any feelings of unfamiliarity. I was in control, but I wasn't somehow.
Eric went around to the other side of the car and entered, like all guys normally do, one leg at a time, plopping the butt into the seat and bringing in the remaining leg after that. He turned his face towards me and asked,
"Okay. I can tell by the look on your face, that you've got questions. Fire away, Holly."
"Very well, Eric." I responded. "Question number one. Why did you use the key phrase to turn off the automatic extreme Holly? Question number two, why am I not having any problems moving this very different body in what seems to me to be a perfectly normal female manner? Number three, why am _I_ on the driver's side? Isn't it usually the guy who gets to drive?"
Eric held up his hand, palm towards me, indicating that I should stop right there, which I did. He then said,
"Your first question, about turning off 'Extreme Holly'? I did that so you won't get yourself into any trouble I can't get you out of tonight. In "Extreme" mode, you actually become Holly in every way. I don't think you're ready for the way that Holly can flirt with men, or the possible results of that flirting, just yet. If you want, I can turn it back on and leave it on. Is that what you want me to do?"
I thought about that for a few seconds and I realized that Eric was probably right in doing what he did. I wasn't ready to start flirting with men yet, and I sure wasn't ready to deal with what might happen because of that flirting! I mean, okay. I was feeling totally at home and comfortable in my new guise and I hadn't truthfully given it a thought as we left the house. It had seemed totally natural to me to be walking in high heels and wearing a dress and makeup outside the house.
"But Eric?" I said. "If you turned off "extreme Holly" then why do I feel at ease this way? I mean shouldn't I be freaking out at the very idea of being outside in women's clothes and makeup?"
"Well Holly," Eric continued. The reason why you feel as comfortable as you do is that the suit itself imposes the 'Holly' persona on you regardless of whether the 'Extreme' function is on or off. What the "Extreme' option does, is allow the total Holly persona to, well, take over completely, would be the best way to put it. When I first became Holly, I wondered the same things you are now. All I can really tell you is that I never bothered to ask Frank the questions you are asking me. I was committed to being Holly for the three years and I guess I never thought to question whatever he did, or how he did it. I'm going to answer as many of your questions as I can, but for the more technical things, you're going to have to ask the club owners or managers. I don't know much about those things and I never bothered to ask, like I said."
"Okay Eric. I responded. "I can deal with that, I guess, but what about my being so comfortable and at ease dressed the way I am?"
"Again, Holly," he said, "That is a function of the suit itself. There are two overlay personalities built into the suit. The first is a simple one which allows you to function as a normal woman does and, at the same time, it is reinforced by some of the programming on the tapes you watched. At this point, you can't help but act and feel like the woman you appear to be. If you tried to walk or talk the way you used to as a guy, you wouldn't be able to, simply because of the mental re-conditioning you have undergone. You're still you, but your personality and things like that, including the way you walk and talk and all your mannerisms are being controlled by the suit and the programming. Those tapes, the ones you are going to have to re-watch every day this week and then once a month after that, are what's responsible for all this to be possible. Without them, you'd just be a guy in a female bodysuit."
He went on to say, "Also, when the 'Extreme Holly' option is in force, it accesses all the programming and also a memory bank which allows you to seamlessly take over being Holly. After all, if you showed up looking and moving like Holly, but couldn't remember all her friends and regular customers, it'd be kinda suspicious, right? Additionally, the programming in the 'Extreme Holly' option is totally female. Your thoughts, your actions, your mode of response, every little gesture you make, even the way you do your new job, are contained in there. You won't need that tonight, as this is your first outing as Holly. I just want you to get used to the way men are going to look at you and try to hit on you, without you getting yourself in too deep and going home with one of them!"
I started the car while Eric paused for breath.
"Finally, you're on the driver's side of the car because it's your car. It wouldn't look right for me to be driving your car and, since we're going to "HEADLIGHTS" for this first time out, you should be behind the wheel, or at least that's the way _I_ see it. Just relax and let your programming take over a little bit. You'll find that you know the best and shortest way to the club and how to drive wearing those stilts you've got on. Now let's get going and have a little fun. We have to be back here by midnight or so, so you'll be able to get a good night's sleep your first night in the suit. You'll see what I mean later on. Also, you need that sleep so your mind will be able to best absorb the programming each time you view those tapes. I found that, if you're tired or sleepy or even distracted, the programming doesn't 'take' as well, leaving some gaps which can be embarrassing."
"Okay, Eric," I said while gunning the engine of that sweet sounding little Mustang. "Let's go!" And I hit the gas while dumping the clutch, which caused the little car to rocket out of the driveway, leaving twin black streaks of rubber on the pavement. I shifted gears like I had been doing it all my life and by the time we were entering the flow of traffic toward the freeway, we were in 5th gear and cruising at about 60 or so.
The throaty rumbling of the exhaust was like a narcotic to me, as I had always loved the sound of a big V-8 engine. Apparently that was one part of Holly that matched my Jim side, perfectly. I found, as Holly, I knew exactly when to shift gears and keep the car moving without any problems at all, even in the 5 inch heels I was wearing, even though as Jim, I had never had the chance to drive a hot set of wheels like this little pony.
We got on the freeway and were soon at 70 miles an hour without any strain at all. Eric had his window down and was lighting a cigarette, and I asked him to light one for me too. He looked at me and said,
"That's another part of the programming. Holly smokes, even if you never did. You don't have to worry about diseases though. Something about that suit won't let you get sick or catch any diseases. You can't even catch a cold while you wear it. Just another one of the little 'perks' that come with it. You'll still feel the satisfaction that comes from nicotine or alcohol entering your body, but you can't get drunk and you can't get cancer. If you continued being Holly after your 'tour of duty' in the suit is up, you'd live a totally disease free life for as long as you remain Holly. You would continue to age at the reduced rate and you'd never look any less attractive than you do right now. The only thing that can slow you down is the normal aging processes of the brain itself and even that is slowed. You should never have to worry about senility or things like alzheimers either."
Well, this was a lot of information that I was being asked to take in and it was getting a bit overwhelming so I just took my cigarette from Eric and smoked while I drove. I noticed that it was all white and had a menthol bite to it that wasn't unpleasant or harsh. The brand wasn't a familiar one and when I asked Eric about that he said that it was a brand they sell at the club, specially made up for them by the same outfit that supplied the bodysuits.
"I think these cigarettes have something in them that helps in that slowing down of your aging I talked about. Again, if you want the whole story, you'll have to get it from management. I never bothered to ask most of the questions you're asking me. I just accepted all of it as a package deal. Oh, one other thing about the cigarettes. You won't be addicted to them if and when you decide to stop being Holly. In fact, you aren't addicted to them now. You can smoke or not smoke. It's just easier to assimilate the programming and get the benefits of them if you do smoke.
"There are other ways to get the same effects, but they involve drinking a 'cocktail' that the club provides and it doesn't taste very good at all. Most of the girls at the club prefer the smoking over the 'cocktails'. Besides, I think it's sexy to see a great looking woman smoking a cigarette, don't you?"
Well, I had to agree with Eric on that point. There is something sexy about seeing a gorgeous woman smoking a cigarette. Whether it's the elegant way they hold it and blow the smoke back out, up into the air or the graceful way they act while doing it, I don't know. I only know that I found myself holding that smoke it the tips of my long nailed fingers and inhaling and exhaling that fragrant smoke, just the way I'd seen other women do it. It even felt a little sexy and I smiled a little smile at Eric as he watched me smoking.
"I guess I have to agree with you, Eric. It even feels sexy to me while I'm doing this. I'm a bit amazed that I can do this while driving this car, considering that Jim doesn't smoke and can't drive a stick shift to save his life, but I assume that's all part of the programming and memory things you've been telling me about. What I can't figure out at all is why? I mean, these bodysuits have got to be horrendously expensive and then there's those tapes and all that. So why does "HEADLIGHTS" go to all the cost of this? Wouldn't it be cheaper and easier to hire real women?"
Eric thought about that one for a few minutes while I maneuvered the Mustang through some traffic. He finally said,
"Holly. That's another one of those questions that management will have to answer for you. I gotta agree that it seems like it'd be easier to hire real women, but maybe it's because they want a kind of continuity in their clubs. In other words, it's probably more comfortable for the customers to see the same faces in the clubs they frequent. If they hired real women, there'd always be a 'turnover rate' and people would have to get used to new waitresses and dancers when they come in. If they're regulars, they expect to see their 'favorites' there and would be disappointed if they weren't there. I imagine that's part of it."
He got a serious look on his face then and he continued, saying,
"There's another thing I want to talk to you about, Holly. It's really important and I want you to listen carefully to me for the next few minutes, okay?"
As if anything could be more serious than what he had already been telling me?
"Okay, Eric. You've got my full attention or as much as I can spare while I'm driving." I answered.
Eric shifted a bit in his seat til he was facing me and then he said,
"What I've got to talk about is the way you will be treated as Holly. You need to accept that you are now, for all intents and purposes, a real live beautiful woman. Men will hit on you and, because of the way the suit is built and because of the programming in those tapes, you will respond as if you were a real woman. You are going to find yourself very attracted to men and you're going to want their attentions. That means that, inevitably, you are going to sleep with men. I don't want you to worry about this or stress about it. It's a normal function of a beautiful woman and, right now and for the next three years, you are one. If you ever have a problem with this, please call me or talk to the management. They and I will help you all we can. As long as you wear that suit and view the tapes, you won't even think about being attracted to another woman. It's all part of the total 'image' that the club expects from their employees and, believe it or not, you will enjoy every bit of the attention you'll get from men."
He paused for a few seconds and then continued.
"You're going to experience every bit of what a real woman does when you flirt, or even seduce a man, and you're going to love having sex with them! Trust me! Even now that I'm out of that suit, I still remember what it felt like to make love with a man. It doesn't mean I'm gay or anything like it, because when I had sex with men, I was a woman, just like you are now. Right now, I can't imagine ever sleeping with another man and that's because I am coming out of the influence of the suit and tapes. I always was heterosexual before I donned the suit and I will be again, but that doesn't mean I can't look back at the experiences I had with men, fondly. I wanted to tell you about this part of it before it happened to you, and it will happen. I know you don't believe me, but after this first week when you're in full-time Holly mode, you will find men attractive and, if the right one comes along, you will want to sleep with him. Just go with it and don't worry, okay?"
Well now, that was a real bombshell to drop on me! I had never considered that part of this experience and I was, as Jim, completely heterosexual. I didn't answer Eric right away, but rather I drove in silence while I digested this latest bit of information. I could understand it from an abstract point of view, though. I mean, according to all the Eric had told me so far, while I wore this suit I was real enough as a woman that I could fool a trained gynecologist, so it only made sense that, along with everything else, I would act like a real woman would and that meant, being attracted to men.
I won't say that it didn't scare me though. It did! A lot! Thinking back though, to the night I spent with Holly, I could recall the pleasure she had evidenced when we were in bed together, and I realized at that point, that would be the way _I_ would react in bed with a man.
I almost had to stop the car to catch my breath when that thought finally hit home.
Well, by the time I got my thoughts around those thoughts, we were arriving at the club. I wheeled the Mustang into the parking lot and pulled right up to the same back door that Holly had taken me in when we were here last.
I parked the car and Eric got out, quickly coming around to the driver's side and opening the door for me. He reached in and took my left hand, assisting me in getting out of the car and then, he tucked my hand into the crook of his arm, but he allowed me to take the lead when we reached the door. He told me,
"From now on, you are Holly and you're gonna have to act the part. I don't belong here anymore as an employee, so you are going to have to take the lead as if you were always Holly and I am just another date of yours. I'll help you all I can, but a lot of it's going to be up to you. You'll find that, if you think about things for a second or two, the knowledge you'll need is there in your brain. The more you use it, the more easily you'll be able to access it, until it becomes second nature to you. It's going to go a lot smoother and easier on you if you just let "Jim" go to sleep for the next three years or for as long as you are Holly, believe me on that point. You have to be Holly now and for the foreseeable future so relax and enjoy it. It won't hurt you, physically or mentally and if you let 'Jim' go night night, it'll be better, okay?"
He patted my hand and smiled reassuringly at me. I swallowed hard a couple of times and tried to push 'Jim' to the back of my mind. I did find things in my memory that hadn't ever been there before and when I concentrated a little bit on them, I realized that they were the things I would need to know as Holly.
"Okay, Eric." I breathed. "Let's go do this. I'm in the mood for some fun and some dancing and I might as well enjoy this for however it lasts. You're right, though. I am gonna have to put 'Jim' on hold while I do this. I don't think 'he' could deal with all I'm going to experience over the next three years, or whatever."
That said, I took another deep, cleansing breath and knocked on the door. It opened up to reveal 'Tiny' the bouncer. His face lit up when he saw Holly there with Eric, and he hugged me, saying,
"Good ta see ya, Holly! Eric, it's been awhile, ain't it? Where ya been hidin'? C'mon in, both of ya!"
We entered and Tiny closed the door behind us.
""Holly," he continued, "If you got any questions dat Eric here ain't answered yet, you come ta me and I'll take ya to da boss where ya can get 'em answered, okay? I want ya ta know dat I love all the girls that work here and I protect 'em like I would my own daughters. If ya ever have any trouble wit anybody, you tell me, and I'll make sure dey see da error of their ways!" And he scowled fiercely.
I hugged him back, on impulse and kissed him on his big cheek, and watched his scowl get replaced by a big, shy grin.
"Eric." He said. "Ya picked a good one here. I'll watch over her just like I done for you and all da other girls here, you never worry about dat, okay?" And he smacked Eric on the back like a pal does to another pal.
Eric damn near got knocked off his feet by that 'friendly' gesture of Tiny's, but he quickly regained his balance and said,
"Thanks, Tiny. I knew you'd like Holly, and I never doubted for a second that you'd look after her like you did me. You were always so sweet to me, and I want you to know that I really appreciated it. You're a good man, Tiny."
"Aw shucks, Eric." Tiny responded. "Cut it out now. You're gonna make me cry or somethin' and I can't hug ya no more since you're a guy again and stuff. Ya did a damn good job here and I'm sure da boss is gonna give ya a real good report and references for whatever your next job turns out ta be."
Tiny then turned to me with a little gleam in his eye and said,
"Now, did Eric here tell ya that _I_ get ta break in the new girls, in bed?"
I froze in place, not willing to believe what my ears had just heard. I looked at Tiny and gulped audibly. My eyes traveled up from the floor, along his huge, muscular body, large neck and finally to his face, which had a somewhat serious look on it. My mind was racing to process the words I had heard him say, but it seemed to be stuck in neutral because all I could do was stand there.
My mouth finally came unstuck. It must have, because I heard myself say,
"Ummm, Tiny? You get to do what?"
Tiny looked down at me from his 6'7" vantage point and grinned.
"Why _I_ get ta break in all da new gals in bed, Holly. Didn't Eric tell ya dat? It's one of da biggest perks of my job, and boy do I enjoy it!"
I just stood there. I wanted to move, I wanted to run, I wanted to do something, but my legs weren't accepting any input from my brain at that point. They weren't doing much other than trembling, actually.
I looked over at Eric and he wasn't any help at all. He had this kind of goofy grin on his face and he looked for all the world like he was trying his very best not to laugh!
"Holly, with everything else I've been trying to tell you, this was one thing I simply forgot. I guess it didn't seem as important as all the rest of the info I was trying to pour into your brain about your new life." Eric said between chuckles. "I'm really sorry about this, but it won't be bad at all. Tiny here is a great lover and you're going to enjoy him, believe you me!"
Eric looked away from me right then. I was finally getting some feeling back in my lower extremities and I began to back towards the door, away from Tiny.
"Now, wait just a second here, Tiny." I said in a tremulous voice. "I don't think I'm quite ready for anything like that yet! I mean, I've only been in here," and I indicated the suit I was wearing, "for a day or so! Now, you're a good looking guy and all, but I'm gonna need a few days before I feel comfortable doing anything like that, ok? No hard feelings? OOh! Did I say hard feelings? Didn't mean to have that slip out! I mean, um, oh boy... Okay, look Tiny, I mean don't look, not at me, that is. All kidding aside, I'm really not anywhere near ready for...umm, well, you know."
I rambled and blabbered for a couple of minutes, trying to talk my way out of this situation. At the same time I was getting mad! Mad at Eric, mad at Tiny, mad at myself for getting into this spot! I turned to Eric and let my anger loose.
"Eric, you dirty, no good, son of a bitch! How could you forget this? How could you put me into this spot with no warning? I trusted you and this is what I get? A virtual rape? You know I'm nowhere near ready for this, even if you turned the "extreme Holly” function on, I couldn't deal with this yet!" I yelled for a minute or more, when something made me stop suddenly.
What made me stop was the looks on both Eric's and Tiny's faces. They were grinning at me like a couple of kids! A thought began to form, overriding my anger, and that thought was confirmed in the next second when Tiny moved quickly to me and picked me up, effortlessly in his big arms, laughing!
"Aw, Holly! We was just kiddin' ya, girl. I wouldn't never do nothin' like dat ta any of youse gals! Why, I think of all of ya like my own kids and I wouldn't never hurt or bother none of ya like dat! Wow, though. Ya shoulda seen yer face! He he he he! Ya looked like ya just swallowed yer tongue or somethin!"
Tiny finally put me down, after squeezing most of the air out of me. I think he put me down more because he was laughing so hard he was afraid he'd drop me! Eric was slowly sinking to his knees, holding his sides and laughing so hard tears were rolling down his cheeks! He tried to say something, but he was laughing way too hard to speak intelligibly.
I stood there, transfixed by the sight of these two jokers, laughing their asses off at my expense. I thought about strangling both of them, but that was way beyond my reduced physical strength. Finally, I took a stance with both legs firmly planted and my fists on my hips and yelled at them.
"This was all a joke? You two...OOOOOOH! You just wait! I'll get both of you for this! I, I, I, you..! OOOOOOOOH!"
Thoughts were coming to my mouth faster than I could speak, and I finally gave up even trying to speak and just glared at the two jolly jokers.
Eric finally regained some of his composure and said, between giggles,
"Oh c'mon, Holly. You have to admit, we really had you going there for a minute. Oh man, I wish I had a camera! The look on your face was priceless!" He broke back down in chuckles then and couldn't say any more.
Tiny had recovered his composure and he took over where Eric had left off.
"Kid, dat was just kinda like a initiation or somethin'. Don't you never worry, though. Nobody is never gonna bother ya like that as long as I'm here ta say otherwise! Me and Eric had worked all dis out a couplea days ago, before you and him was here for dinner. We already knew dat you was gonna be da choice for da new Holly, and we figgered that ya could use a good laugh ta start things off. I guess me and Eric is the only ones laughin', though. You don't look all that amused. I'm sorry, kid. Don't be mad at me?"
His face took on a hangdog kind of expression, kind of like a hurt puppy, and as angry as I was at them right then, I couldn't stay mad for long, looking at that face. I just couldn't let them off the hook easy, though so I kept the angry look on my face and turned my back on them.
"A good laugh, huh?" I said, angrily. "Is that what you two thought this would be? Did either of you stop to think for one minute that I wouldn't find this funny at all? Did either of you think that I'd be scared out of my damn wits? Because I was!" I was having a hell of a time keeping my tone angry because _I_ was beginning to giggle a bit myself. I couldn't let them see that though, so I kept my back to them, my arms crossed under my breasts.
Eric came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder, saying,
"Oh come on, Holly. It was only a joke! You didn't think Tiny would really do anything like that, did you? My God, girl! Tiny here wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was endangering you girls. Listen Holly, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd take this so seriously or get so scared.
Can you forgive me and Tiny for out little joke?"
I spun on my heel and faced him, shrugging his hand off my shoulder.
"Forgive you? Forgive you?" I shrieked. I oughta punch your lights out, you clown!" But right then, _I_ lost it and began giggling. Finally I broke down into a full laugh, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Now look at what you two have done! It's gonna take a half hour to repair my damn makeup! I gasped.
The three of us stood there just laughing for a few more minutes before I excused myself to go to the ladies room to make those repairs.
"Oh, don't worry, guys. I will get you both for this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday I'll get even!" I threw back over my shoulder at them. I walked away from them, past the kitchen entrance, looking the ladies room. I opened the door and stepped inside, but before I could locate the ladies room I got another surprise!
Inside were most of the girls who worked at HEADLIGHTS, waitresses, dancers and all, gathered together under a banner which read;
WELCOME TO OUR NEW HOLLY!
They all cheered me as I stood there in the doorway and then they moved toward me, enveloping me in their arms and welcoming me into their "sorority" so to speak. I knew right then that this was going to be a fun and interesting three years, or more. I also knew that, as long as I was here, I wouldn't lack for friends, protectors and confidantes. I'd never had an experience like this, going into a job, and I was really overwhelmed.
I actually started to cry! I got hugged til I thought I was going to burst, and I got kissed on my cheeks, forehead, neck, and one person, I never knew which one it was, slipped me the tongue! I know my face was bright red and not just from all the lipstick!
Eventually, they all went back to work, leaving me to find the bathroom to do the, by now, absolutely necessary repair work on my face. As I applied the makeup, I stood there looking into the mirror at the lovely young woman I saw reflected there. It was still very hard for me to accept or believe that the person in that mirror was me, but it was getting easier by the moment.
The combination of the programming and the incredible welcome I'd gotten were working on me, making it much easier to become inside, what I saw on the outside. Oh I knew there'd be times when I'd doubt the wisdom of taking over being Holly, and there'd probably even be times I'd regret doing it, but I also knew that it wouldn't be boring, and I would come out of it very much better off, both financially and psychologically, I thought.
According to Eric, and I had no reason to doubt him, I'd be able to learn just about everything there was to know about women and what they want and need in the three years I'd be working here. That would serve me in great stead when I took up my real life as Jim, enabling me to get many more dates and being able to understand them much better, so I wouldn't act like a typical guy on dates or in any relationships I might get into.
Well, I stood there, as I said, looking at that woman in the mirror, and a curious thing began to happen. I actually began to be proud of the way I looked! I started doing little "poses" in the mirror, kind of like the ones I'd seen in movies, where a woman would pout her lips and practice different smiles and stuff. Vamping, I think they call it. I must have lost track of time, because I suddenly became aware that Eric was calling to me, through the door of the ladies room.
"Hey Holly! You going to be in there the rest of the night or what? I'm hungry, aren't you? Get on out here and let's eat and have a few drinks. Maybe even some dancing, later!"
I finished with my repairs and put everything back into my purse. I stopped for just a second to primp my hair a little bit and then I blew myself a kiss in the mirror.
"In for a penny, in for a pound." I said to my new self. ‘Might as well get out there and jump in with both feet. I'm going to look like this for at least three years. I might as well start to enjoy it.'
"I'm coming, Eric!" I called back to him. "You better be ready, because this new girl is ready to kick up her heels and party some! Here I come, ready of not!" And out the door I went, determined to live this life to it's fullest and enjoy every bit of it while I could.
Oh, I know, I know. I should have been freaking out and worried to death about living for the next three years as a woman, but I wasn't. Again, the programming on those tapes seemed to be there at my beck and call and it wouldn't let me get too worried! It told me that this was okay and not weird or perverted at all. It was just a job, and when the job was done, I'd be right back to being Jim. It told me just how to move and how to act. All I had to do was relax and let it have most of the control over my body and thoughts.
Now, don't get me wrong here. The programming wasn't "taking me over" like some kind of science fiction, mind control kind of thing. It was more like there was a second personality in my mind, just under the surface. It was simple to let it take over and control things, but it was also just as easy to take back the control, and "override" that second personality. I guess you could say it was more like an "overlay" than anything else.
All I had to do was relax and let it take control, and it only took a thought to regain my self, although that "self" was increasingly more feminine, again because of the programming. Apparently, it wasn't going to let me be masculine in any way, although I was able to always know who I was, or used to be, and who I was going to be again, after this was all over.
So, out the door I went. I joined Eric who was waiting there for me, and, putting my hand in the crook of his arm, of we went into the club. We sat down at a table and a waitress appeared almost instantaneously with drinks. I almost asked her how she knew what we wanted, but Eric stopped me, saying,
"Everyone here knows what Holly drinks, and they remember what my favorite was before I became Holly. You need to understand, Holly, that everyone here is like part of a family. We all, or I guess I should now say, they all, look out for one another. They all know just about everything there is to know about one another, and while I'm at it, I might as well tell you now, there are more than a couple of ‘girls' just like you. I won't tell you who they are, though. You'll find out as you go. What you don't ever have to worry about is that anyone here will ever give away your secret or laugh at you for doing this. Everybody who works here, from management on down, knows how important it is for the regular customers to feel comfortable when they come here."
Eric paused to take a long sip from his drink, while I lit a cigarette, then he continued.
"The food and drinks here aren't cheap, but they are top of the line, as is the service. In fact, the service might be more responsible than either of the other two things that keeps people coming back here night after night. They see and are served by their favorite girls and they feel at ease, knowing they are recognized and appreciated, so they spend more money than they normally might. They also tip better. You'll recognize all of Holly's regulars and you'll automatically know what they like in the way of food, drinks and service, as well as just how to flirt with them just enough to get good tips. That was all included in the programming."
Eric was interrupted by the waitress returning with another pair of drinks for us, and a request for our orders. We ordered our dinners and thanked the girl, whose name was Nikki, and after she left the table, Eric continued.
"I've had several jobs in my life, Holly. This one, here at HEADLIGHTS, was more like a family and more like a pleasure than a job. I've never worked in a place where the people cared so much about one another and watched out for one another like they do here. I'm going to miss that a lot, but I wanted to get back to my life as Eric for several reasons. You don't need to know those reasons, and I'm not going to bore you with them."
"Now, I've pretty much told you everything I can think of about working here and about being Holly, so what do you say we just spend the rest of this evening having a good time and relaxing. You've got a long day ahead of you tomorrow, with the tapes and practicing your new skills in makeup and wardrobe co-ordination, but I think you deserve a night of fun for the way you've accepted all of this incredible story of mine. I thought it'd be much harder to convince you to take over for me, and I'm so glad you seem to be taking to this like a duck to water. I was much harder to convince than you were, but then again, Frank wasn't that good at convincing me as I seem to have been with you. In fact, I don't even know how Frank got into this in the first place. He wasn't a very nice man at all, but, from what everyone tells me, he was just as good a Holly as anyone else had been. Oh well, I guess it takes all kinds to make up a world, right?"
About that time our dinner arrived at the table and we tucked into the most delicious prime rib I've ever tasted. Medium rare and juicy, and fries that rivaled any I'd ever tasted as well. I could see why Eric was so high on the quality of the food and drinks here as well as the service. It seemed that any time we needed anything at all, Nikki was right there with it, before she was even asked for it.
I remarked about this to Eric, and he told me that it was all in my programming. I sat back in my seat and concentrated for just a second or so, and, there it was! I suddenly knew exactly how Nikki was doing what she was doing, and why she was doing it. It was like I'd always known it, but I just had to think about it for a little bit, to remember it! Those tapes were amazing.
"Eric." I said. “Just what is this suit and what are those tapes? I mean, you've already told me that you don't know a lot about them, but are you sure you've told me all you DO know about them? Like, where does a bodysuit this real come from? Who makes them? How much do they cost? Whose idea was this whole HEADLIGHTS thing anyway?" I went on and on, asking questions, but somewhere in there, Eric stopped me and said,
"Look, Holly. I told you that I don't know a lot of the answers to these questions. What I know, I've told you already. I never asked most of the questions you just asked me, because I never really want to know those answers. Maybe I figured I'd be better off not knowing some of them if you know what I mean. You know, there are some things you're better off not knowing the answers to, if you get my drift. I do know that there's nothing illegal about this, and I do know that this whole deal is legitimate. That is to say, there's no crime money involved as far as I know. In fact, I recall about two years ago, I heard that the "mob" tried to get a foothold here. It's my understanding that those who tried, ended up regretting it for a long time, and they never tried again. Apparently, the "lesson" they learned was sufficient so that nobody else ever tried either. These places all have every bit of necessary paperwork filed in triplicate and everything is on the up and up as far as I know, but listen. What do you say we just forget all that for now and just have some fun. I feel like dancing. You up for it, Holly?"
Well, after ingesting that delicious dinner, I wasn't sure I could ever get up from the table, but I was sure going to try! Eric helped me up from the chair and we hit the dance floor. We started out simple and easy, but as the night went on, the music got a little faster and a little more enticing, until I found myself deep into a tango of all things! I hadn't even noticed what dances we had been doing, and when I found myself in the midst of a dance I didn't even know how to do, as Jim, I hesitated for just a second. Eric must have caught my hesitation because he looked me directly in the eyes and said,
"Just relax, Holly. You do know how to do this. It's all in there." and he pointed to my head. "All you have to do is let it take over."
So that's what I did. I just relaxed and, there that knowledge was! All I had to do was sort of go along for the ride and enjoy myself, so that's what I did. When the tango ended, Eric and I got a big round of applause from the rest of the people there. I blushed and Eric bowed to them as I curtseyed, taking the rose from between my teeth! It was wonderful. I felt more alive than I had in a long time! I was literally bubbling over with enthusiasm as Eric led me back to the table for a bit of a rest and a drink.
"Eric!" I enthused. "I've never had this much fun dancing! It seems like I know exactly what to do and when to do it, and you make it so easy to follow you! I've never been ‘led' on a dance floor before and I thought it would be difficult dancing backwards in high heels, but it isn't!"
Eric just looked at me with a kind of half grin on his face.
"I know, Holly." He then said. "I felt the same way _I_ first came dancing here. Frank didn't bring me, but another former employee did. As soon as Frank got out of the Holly suit, and got some male clothes, he took off and hasn't been heard from since. No one knows where he went, but they do know that he hasn't told a soul about this. Believe me, they have ways of knowing, too. Listen, Holly. I need to tell you this for your own good. If you decide that you've had enough of being Holly, and you want out before your contract is up, well, there is a loyalty pledge kind of thing you have to sign, before you start working here."
"Because of the programming, you can't tell anyone outside the club about this, but once you're out of the suit, you can, so they make you sign this pledge thing." Basically it says that you won't ever tell anyone about this, ever! The management and the owners of HEADLIGHTS apparently have ways of making sure you don't ever tell anyone, and if you ever do............well, let's just say that there has only ever been one person who violated the pledge. As far as I know, she is still doing penance on her knees in some alley for ten bucks a blow, if you get what I mean, and she's doing it without the benefit of any programming that would make her comfortable with it. I'm not telling you this as a threat, but as a warning. They're great here, but don't push them, okay?"
Well, Eric looked so serious while he told me all this that I kind of did get scared a little bit.
"My God, Eric! Just who are these people anyway?"
"Oh Holly," he said. "You don't ever want to have to find out how nasty they can get if they have to. It's not something they like to do, but they can and they will, if anyone pushes them too far. Think, Holly. Why do you think that I started calling you Holly immediately as soon as you put that suit on. If you think about it, I haven't called you anything else since that time, and I won't. It's part of the whole package. It not only reinforces your identity to you, but it also serves to hide the fact that you are someone else, wearing a bodysuit. It perpetuates the myth, if you will, and it's something that the owners and management insist on. As long as you are Holly, that is all you will be called, and all you will answer to. Right now, if I called you by your male name, you wouldn't react to it. Your conditioning has been that fast and that thorough."
Eric paused for a drink and to light a cigarette.
"You'll never forget who you were, and you'll always be able to return to being that person if you want to, without any problem. There's nothing in the suit of the programming that "locks' you into that personality or makes you want to remain Holly forever. Everything you decide to do will be of your own free will and without any undue coercion of any kind. I need to stress that, because there's a lot of rumors and untruths about programming and bodysuits out there. Nobody can make you do anything against your will and nothing can make you do anything you wouldn't ordinarily do of your own free will. There's no hypnosis at work here, Holly. No coercion, no "domination" or anything like it. If you were dissatisfied or too scared to continue this, you could go to management, explain your fears and, if they couldn't reason with you and talk you out of it, they would let you out of even the first three year deal." He paused to draw on his smoke and take a drink again. Then he continued.
"The only other thing I can tell you is, look at me. I did my three years and I'm out. I remember everything I did as Holly, and I remember everything about me as Eric. I'm not "gay" because of my experience as Holly, and I have all the money I made during the time I spent as her. I'll never forget being her and I'll never regret doing it. Now, I hope I've set your mind at ease about everything?"
I sat there absorbing all that Eric had been telling me. I'll admit that some of it scared the crap out of me, but Eric managed to calm me and convince me. I did have his example, right? He had done what I was just starting out to do and he not only survived, but he prospered, doing it. He'd told me that he was starting, or re-starting his life as Eric with over 150,000 dollars in the bank, and he'd showed me his checkbook. Now that money was only the money he'd banked, not the money he'd spent as Holly. If he'd been a little more stingy or careful about his spending, he'd said, he could easily have had over 200,000 dollars in that account!
We spent the rest of the night talking and dancing and just having fun. I put all my concerns and worries aside, knowing that I could ask management any questions Eric couldn't or wouldn't answer. I caught sight of Tiny once in awhile as Eric and I danced, and he would wave and smile at us. At one point in the evening, I had a nasty little thought and I excused myself from Eric, going over to Tiny. By sheer luck, the music changed at that point to a slow, romantic tune and I literally dragged Tiny out onto the dance floor! He looked scared to death, but he didn't resist me, though he could easily have just stood still and I couldn't have moved him with a forklift!
"I told you I'd get you back for that little joke you and Eric pulled on me earlier, didn't I?" I said in his ear. "Now I've gotcha out here, you're gonna dance with me until I say you can go, big fella!"
He started to protest, but I wouldn't let him go and I guess he decided that he'd better not make a scene and gave in. Surprisingly, he was a great dancer! Most guys Tiny's size (6' 7" and right around 300 pounds)can't move very well or gracefully, but Tiny seemed to have a natural grace to his movements and he moved us around the floor like Fred Astaire! I loved it and, judging from the look on his face, so did he! I let him go after that one dance, and he actually bowed to me, I curtsied back and we got another round of applause from the people in the club!
Tiny and I parted company then and he went back to doing his job of keeping an eye on everything, while I went back to the table and Eric. He was sitting there, watching me as I walked back and, as I neared the table, he got up and helped me with my chair. I sat down, smoothing my dress under me and thanked him as he went back to his chair. He looked at me for a second and then said,
‘That was very well done, Holly. You've made some friends, or should I say, you've re-made some friends, since Holly is well known here, but some of them might have been withholding their judgment of you as the ‘new' Holly. By doing what you just did, you showed all of them that you are doing this of your own free will and are determined to be the best Holly you can be. That goes a long way towards your acceptance here. Much further actually, than anything else you could have done."
"Tiny is probably the best loved character in the club. His huge size belies the fact that he is probably the biggest teddy bear on the face of the planet. He used to play Pro football, and before that, he was a Navy Seal and trained in several forms of martial arts. He can kick a can off the top of a doorway from a standing start and can lift over 600 pounds straight up over his head, yet he wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was bothering someone else. Would you believe me if I told you that even he served a term here as a waitress? Don't you ever tell him I told you that, by the way. He'd be embarrassed if he thought anyone else knew it."
"Eric, you don't have anything to worry about." I told him. "I'm never going to tell anyone, anything I learn about this experience or about the people who are working here. Let's face it, disregarding what you said earlier about the possible penalties of telling people about this, who'd believe me? Unless I took off this suit, as you did, while someone was watching, no one would buy this story for a second! It's too unreal, too strange. Even now that I know that it's true, I still can't believe some parts of it."
I stopped to gather my thoughts and light another cigarette. Then I continued.
‘I'm still amazed by the way I feel with this suit on. I mean it feels like there is no suit at all! It feels like my real skin. I can feel even a feather light touch and I can feel every movement of my new attributes. It's like I was born female and grew up this way! I don't even miss the presence of my penis like I thought I would. Everything just feels, I don't know... natural? I don't feel embarrassed to be seen as a woman, or to be wearing these clothes or makeup either. I have to assume that it's because of the programming on the tapes." I have noticed, however that in the last hour or so, I've begun to notice a bit of....well, fade as it were, of the way I feel about this. Do you know why that might be?"
"Well Holly, that's probably because this is your first day under the full programming, as I told you. Every day of this week you will have to review and re-watch the tapes to reinforce that programming, to "set" it in your mind. Thereafter, you only have to review them once a month, as the material in them is digested and stored in your mind. I think it's about time we headed back to your house anyway. It's getting late and you do have a full day ahead of you tomorrow. I'm going to activate the "extreme" Holly option now, and keep it in operation until we get back home. I think you need to experience it so you'll know how you're going to be acting once you begin working here. Are you ready?"
Well, I thought. No time like the present.
"Fire away, Eric. Hit me with your best shot and all that." And I giggled at that.
"Okay, Holly. Let's get going then. Extreme Holly On!
There was a difference, this time, when Eric said those words. I could actually feel the changes in my thinking as they happened this time! My behavior became markedly more feminine and I actually felt more feminine. So feminine in fact, that I was hitting on guys on the way out of the club, flirting for all I was worth! I don't know what might have happened that night if Eric hadn't been right there with me. It's likely that I would have ended up in some guy's bed and, the way I felt right then, I would have probably had a hell of a good time doing it!
By the time we got to my Mustang, I was almost angry with Eric for not letting me flirt with guys! I threw my purse into the car and got in the seat. While I buckled up, Eric closed my door and went around to the passenger side and got in, also buckling in. I turned to him before I started the engine and started to say something about being angry with him, but he stopped me by saying,
"Extreme Holly Off!"
Immediately I felt the anger drain out of me. Oh, I still remembered being angry, but the reason for my anger was no longer so important.
"Damn, Eric!" I said. “That's some scary stuff! For those few minutes between leaving the table and after you saying that phrase, I actually wanted to flirt with and be with some of those guys! Am I going to feel like that all the time once I settle into this?"
He just looked at me for a minute before he said anything. I could see something in his eyes, but whether it was sympathy, pity, or exasperation, I couldn't tell. Finally he spoke.
"Holly, it is some scary stuff. I wanted you to really feel what it is to be Holly, but I think I was mistaken to activate it this late in the evening. I'd forgotten how overpowering the feelings that the programming can induce, can be at first. You remember that I told you that this "extreme Holly" thing is non-functional after the first week, right? Well, the reason for that is that, for the first week, the new neural pathways being put down in your brain are super sensitive and super aware. It's kind of like a crash course in being very female. Since this is your first day of being Holly, the programming had already started to slip from your conscious mind when I activated the "extreme Holly" command. As a result, it surged forward into your conscious mind like a wave and completely took over. I promise you that I won't do that to you ever again. It was my fault, and I'm sorry."
My breathing had come back to normal and my anger had faded completely away. I was still upset at what had happened, but I understood what Eric was telling me. I didn't necessarily blame him for what had happened, but I was pleased that he took all the blame and apologized to me.
"But, Eric," I continued. "Am I going to feel that way all the time after this first week is up? I don't know if I want to be that way all the time."
"No Holly, you won't feel like that all the time. After this first week is over, those neural pathways will be sufficiently established that the information on them won't be so right there, like it was tonight. It'll be diffused and filtered and won't be so immediately on your mind." He responded.
"You will feel and act completely female, make no mistake about that. The difference will be that it will seem totally natural to you and you won't have second thoughts about anything you will do as regards being Holly. You won't turn into a sex hungry slut or anything like that at all, I want to stress that! You won't have regrets about it and you won't feel guilty about it later either. At least you shouldn't. I never did and no one else has ever reported feeling guilty or regretful during or after their tour of duty as one of the girls, so you shouldn't be any different."
That reassured me quite a bit, since I was worried about that. I knew, logically, that the programming and the behaviors built into the suit were artificial and there'd be no long lasting effects from them, or at least that's what Eric told me and I had no reason to doubt him. He'd been nothing but honest and up front with me since this whole thing had begun. He'd explained every step of the way and he'd stayed right with me to make sure I was okay with what was going on.
I also knew that, no matter what the programming and all that other stuff was trying to tell me and get me to do, I did still feel very strange, every time I looked down at myself or saw myself in a mirror. Well, let's face it, I had 19 years of seeing a male image in mirrors and, suddenly I was seeing a very female image in it's place. I still had a long way to go, obviously, before what I saw in a mirror, and what my male mind was telling me I should be seeing, was in sync with my body image.
I started the car and drove back to my new house, lighting a cigarette and smoking it slowly. One more thing I'd never done before this day. We didn't say much of anything as we made our way back home. Home.
Before today, home had been an efficiency apartment. Two rooms with a closet sized bathroom and those little apartment sized appliances. Now, home meant a beautiful home on the beach and real appliances with a bathroom almost as big as my old apartment had been! It meant a new car and a whole wardrobe full of expensive and gorgeous clothes that fit me as if they had been tailored for me. It meant a place where I could have friends over, have parties, bring a date back to and not feel ashamed of where I lived. Of course, any date I would be bringing home with me from now on would be a man, not a woman.
When we arrived back home, Eric got out and helped me from the car, then we walked into the house, still not saying much to one another. I think he was still feeling guilty a bit and I know I was feeling a bit confused. I credit my confusion to what Eric told me about the programming and all that. Anyway, we went inside and went to separate bedrooms, where I began the process of taking off my makeup and getting undressed. There certainly was a lot more to being a woman, than there was about being a man.
As Jim, I just got undressed, washed my face and went to bed. As Holly I would have to get used to creaming off my makeup, then cleansing my face and applying a night creme to moisturize, put my hair up in either a bun or a ponytail or in curlers, and actually dress for bed! Then in the morning I would have to go through the whole process again, only in reverse, almost!
I was standing in the bathroom, doing a little bit of complaining about that, when Eric showed up at the door. He listened to me for a few seconds and then he said,
"It is a pain, but it's just one more thing to get used to. After a few days though, it'll seem like second nature to you and you won't even think about it anymore, you'll just do it. Holly, I don't think I've really said a proper thank you to you for doing this. There are things I want to do and I wanted very much to get back to my real life as Eric as well. Don't get me wrong though. I already told you that I enjoyed the time I spent as Holly and I wasn't lying about that. Putting aside for the moment, the bundle of money I was able to bank, I made some wonderful friends and had a great time overall. I'd do it again in a flash. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that I have things I want and need to do as Eric, I would probably have stayed as Holly for another three years or even more."
He paused to watch me and to see if I had anything to say. I didn't, so he continued.
"You'll find out, as you go, how terrific it is to live as a beautiful woman, Holly. Life is almost handed to you when you're gorgeous and well built. It's very tempting, once you find out how great you get treated and how much people want to be around you, to stay as Holly, or as any of the girls there at the club. If you decide to go that way, and stay as Holly once your initial three years are done, you can, as I've told you. The procedure is very simple and the owners will even help you come up with a story that will satisfy any family and friends. But, enough of that for tonight. You need some serious sleep and so do I. I'll leave you alone now but I want to give you a hug to thank you for helping me this way."
He stepped toward me and held out his arms. I hesitated for a moment, but then I figured, well what the hell, and I moved to him and let him hug me. After a few seconds I began to return the hug and it felt kind of nice actually. Maybe it was the programming or maybe it was just the fact that it felt....right to me, at that time, but we stood there, hugging one another for quite a few minutes before Eric let go of me and stepped back. The look in his eyes told me everything I needed to know right then. I could see the friendship and compassion in them and I somehow knew that it was honest and true.
I looked back at him and smiled to let him know that everything was all right with me and with this strange but wonderful happening in my life. He reached out and took hold of my chin with one hand, lightly, then he leaned towards me and kissed me on the forehead. Then he let go of my chin, turned and walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. I heard him say,
"Goodnight Holly" and then I heard the door to his bedroom close.
I just stood there, leaning back against the counter for a few minutes, trying to put all the things that had happened today, in some kind of order, but it was useless. There was just too much information for my tired brain to even begin to compartmentalize, so I gave it up and finished with my new routine and went into my new bedroom and then finally, to bed.
It took quite awhile to fall asleep, because of all the thoughts bouncing off one another in my head. Also because I had to find a comfortable position where I wasn't squashing one or both of my new attributes. I finally found a reasonably comfortable position and, at last, I fell asleep.
I remember dreaming, but I can't tell you what the dreams were all about. Not because I don't want to, but because I really don't remember them at all. There were a lot of quick flashes, mostly of faces. Eric, Tiny, some of the girls at the club, and my real face. It was very confused and very surreal.
SECOND DAY JITTERS.
I awoke at about 10 AM, feeling very relaxed and rested. My body seemed ready to get up and at 'em as it were, which was sort of new for me since I've never been a morning person. I usually only got up in the morning because I had to, either for classes or for work. If I didn't have either of those obligations, I could and would sleep til noon. This morning though, I was fully awake in mere seconds after opening my eyes.
Okay. I did lift the blanket immediately after I awoke, just to check, to see if yesterday had all been a strange dream, but there they were. My two new additions, just laying there, attached to my chest. Clearing my throat, I heard the different voice and, as I brought my hand up to cover my mouth, I saw the long, painted nails and the slender graceful looking fingers. 'Nope'. I thought to myself. 'It wasn't a dream.'
I laid there for a few more minutes, but I found that I had to get up. Yes I did have to answer nature's call, but I also felt like I just had to get up. I knew that there were things I had to do today and laying in bed wouldn't get them done, so I threw the covers off my body and sat up on the edge of the bed. It took a second or so to readjust to the weight of my breasts, but they seemed almost normal, hanging there. They were, and are, nice breasts. Large, but not sloppy at all. I kinda liked them. Still do as a matter of fact!
I rose to my feet, threw on a robe that I found at the foot of the bed, and started for the bathroom. Eric's door was open, and when I looked in I noticed that his bed was empty and unmade. The bathroom door was open so I knew he wasn't in there so I entered and took care of the immediate business, that of emptying my bladder. I noticed that, when I finished that little task, I wiped as a real woman would, and attributed that to the programming. Amazing stuff, that programming.
Having finished that little job, I got up and stood in front of the mirror. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and took a quick PTA bath. You know what that is, right? You take a wet washcloth and a bit of soap and do your Pits, Tits and Ass, saving the rest for a proper shower or bath later. With that accomplished, I put the robe back on and walked from the bathroom to the kitchen area where I saw Eric, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He looked up when he heard me, smiled and said,
"Morning, Holly. Damn you look good in the morning. You're really beautiful, you know that? I never really noticed that while I was Holly, but looking at you from the outside like I am now, you really are an incredibly lovely woman. Those suits never cease to amaze me. Well, enough of that. Want some coffee?"
Well, as I've said before, I don't like coffee. It's always tasted like, well, I don't know what. I only know that I never drank the stuff, yet this morning, it smelled good and I accepted a cup from Eric. He set it on the table in front of me and waited. I picked the cup up and took a cautious sip. Hey! This wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered it! It actually tasted rather good!
"Wow, Eric." I remarked. "You make a good cup of coffee! I've never been able to stand the stuff before, but this is pretty good!"
"You're going to find that there are a lot of things that have changed because of the suit and the tapes, Holly." He responded. "Your tastes in food, music and lot of other things are going to change to Holly's preferences, just like your smoking did. It's just one more thing that you don't need to worry about, just accept it and move on. I hope you've noticed that, since you first put that suit on and became Holly, I've never called you by your other, male name. Well, there's a reason for that. Using your new name constantly kinda 'locks' it into your mind so that you'll answer to it without thinking about it. If I'd slipped and used your male name, it would have slowed and interfered with the programming. The first few days are critical in establishing the fact that you are now Holly, and any backsliding sets things back. Since you have only 6 days to get comfortable with being Holly, it's better to do things right, understand?"
"Well Eric, now that you mention it, I did notice that you started calling me Holly immediately after I first put this suit on and you're right, you've never slipped. Of course it's only been 24 hours or so that I've been Holly, so I guess we'd both better watch ourselves and try very hard not to slip up, right?"
"Right you are, Holly my girl. Now," Eric said. “Would you like some breakfast or will the coffee be enough? I can tell you from my experience as Holly that, since you do have a lot to do today, it would be better if you ate something before starting. All the changes to your mind and body in the last day do tend to take their toll and you don't want to be falling asleep while you're reviewing the tapes, trust me. It'll take about 5 hours of so to run through them all again, and after that, I'd sort of planned on taking you out for lunch and some shopping, and maybe, if you're good, a visit to a salon. That's something you need to do anyway and the sooner you do it and get the experience under your belt, the better. Trust me, you're going to love getting pampered at a salon."
"Okay Eric." I answered. "In that case I'd like some toast and an omelet if you don't mind. Maybe a ham and cheese omelet? Do I have time for a shower or a bath before you cook that up?"
"Go ahead and take a quick shower, Holly." He said. "I'll wait with the food until you're done with that. Make sure you don't get your hair wet, or it'll take forever to dry it and we don't have time for that this morning. While you're showering, I'll set up the tapes and the player for you. Now scoot, woman!" And he chuckled a little bit, after saying that.
Well, I scooted! I hit the bathroom at full speed and closed the door. I hung the robe and nightie I was wearing, on the back of the door and closed the shower curtain, turning on the water at the same time. It heated quickly and I tied my hair back and used a shower cap to keep it dry. I worked quickly, taking no time to fondle anything and was finished in a very short time.
Oh I was tempted to linger in certain areas, but Eric's insistence on hurrying was uppermost in my mind just then, so I didn't. I finished quickly, shut off the water, dried myself off and wrapped the towel around my chest, taking the robe and nightie from the door as I left the bathroom. I went to my bedroom and threw on a pair of panties, a bra, some shorts and a sweatshirt I found in one of the dresser drawers. I put my hair up in a ponytail, applied just a touch of lipstick and headed back to the kitchen.
Eric was just finishing cooking my meal when I entered the kitchen area and, as I sat down at the table, he dished it up and served it to me. I thanked him and, as he freshened my coffee, he bowed low and said, smiling,
"You are welcome, madam. Will there be anything else for you this lovely morning?"
"No Jeeves." I replied, getting into the silly mood he seemed to be in. "I believe that will be all for now. I will ring if I need anything else. You are dismissed, oh and Jeeves? Do go put some decent clothing on, won't you? That robe is most unbecoming and unprofessional for a butler of your experience."
He gave me a look that as much as said he approved of my mood and then he left the kitchen to go to his room. I was just finishing my food when he came back with the player and the tapes. While I put my dishes in the dishwasher, he hooked it all up for me and I thanked him as I sat down in the chair opposite the television.
"You are welcome, my lady." He responded. I'll be going out for a few hours to finalize my plans while you watch the tapes. You really should watch them in as short a time as you can, but if you have to stop to use the ladies room, or get something to drink, that'll be okay as long as it doesn't take more than fifteen minutes. Any longer than that and you'll have to re-watch the tape you just finished, before starting the next one. Any questions before I leave?"
"No Eric. I think you covered everything that _I_ can think of, but I'm new to this. If you think everything is ready to roll, go ahead and take care of your business. Lock up as you leave, okay?"
"You got it, Holly." He said as he turned to leave. "It's about 11 A.M. now, so figure me to be back by no later than 3:30PM. That should put me back here just as you're finishing the last tape, barring interruptions. If there are any problems at all, you have my cell phone number and there's a phone right there by the chair. Don't hesitate to call me if anything goes wrong, okay? I won't be far away and I'll be able to get back here in no more than ten minutes if I have to."
"Okay, Eric. In that case, go ahead and get going. I'll be fine and, don't worry. If anything does go wrong, I probably won't even need the phone! I'll likely scream loud enough for you to hear me!" And I laughed a little bit to let him know that I appreciated what he was doing, but I'd be fine.
He returned my little laugh and, grabbed a jacket and his cap, and headed out the door, saying,
"I'm going to take the Mustang, Holly, so if you see it's gone, don't worry about it, okay?"
"Okay, Eric. See you when you get back." I replied. Now leave me to my brainwashing, okay?"
"Okay smart alec!" He riposted. "Later then." And out the door he went.
I heard the locks turn after he closed the door. I sighed, put on the headphones and started the first tape. 'What a way to spend a beautiful day.' I thought to myself. 'All alone, in a locked house, watching television!' Oh well. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do I guess. I settled into the chair and began watching the tape.
I won't bore you with the details of most of that second day, since there weren't any! I watched those damn tapes and soaked up the teachings they presented to my brain, without really thinking about it very much at all. Oh I stopped and had a bite to eat around noon or so, and there was a bathroom break or two, but you don't wanna know about them, right? Oh! You do? Well, too bad! I'm not gonna tell you! So there! (Giggle)
At around 3:30 or so, Eric came back to the house. I was just finishing up the last tape and he waited until I was done before speaking.
"Holly." he said, "You'd better hurry and get a shower. You're due at the salon in about an hour or so."
"Salon?!" I shrieked. "I'm going to a Salon?! I'd forgotten you said that earlier! I can't do that, Eric! I've never been in one of those places and I won't know how to act, or what to say or do!"
I jumped up out of the chair and stood, facing Eric.
"Can't this be put off til tomorrow or the next day? I know this might sound weird, but I'm really scared about this."
"Holly, Holly, Holly." He answered. "There's nothing to be concerned about. What you'll be getting today will be the ‘full treatment', but there's no need for alarm. It'll merely be reinforcing what you've been learning from those tapes. Kind of like gluing it in place as it were. What'll be the upshot of it is, you'll kind of absorb every little thing that gets done to you today, integrating it with what's on those tapes. You'll remember it and be able to duplicate every single thing they do to you so weekly salon visits won't be a drain on your income. You'll only have to go back when you want to change something, either your hairdo, or something like that. Remember, you don't have to wax, or depilate anywhere on your body. The suit takes care of all that for you."
"Yeah, but Eric..." I started to reply, but he cut me off, saying,
"Look, Holly. Have I not been in that suit? Have I not experienced everything you can think of before you? Would I, after all of this, spring anything on you that I didn't think you needed to experience for your own good? Haven't you figured out yet, that I am not going to do anything to you or for you that you don't need to know how to do?"
He paused for a second, gazing down into my eyes, then continued.
"Holly." He said firmly. "I have gone through every single thing that I am taking you through. It's done this way for a reason. The HEADLIGHTS people want every girl to be as convincing and as relaxed and natural in their roles, as is humanly possible. It's the best way for them to maintain their high standard of customer care and satisfaction, and it's the best way for every "girl" to maintain her looks and personality, not to mention her tip averages. Remember, the more you act like ‘Holly', the more you act like ‘Holly', the more comfortable Holly's regular customers will be at ease and tip accordingly. Holly, I swear to you, I am never going to tell you to do something that isn't for your own good. Don't forget, you are also representing me in that suit for the next three years or whatever. If you screw up, it'll come back on me and I have things to do in the foreseeable future that don't include bailing you out by having to take your place for whatever remains of your contract!"
Eric paused for breath and continued.
"That's the one thing I hadn't told you yet, as I'd hoped to wait and see if I'd have to tell you. If, for any reason you can't fulfill your contract, _I_ will be called back to serve out the remaining time! I didn't want to have to tell you that until you were more comfortable with being Holly, because I didn't want it to be a deciding factor in your taking the job and signing the contract. I didn't want you to feel obligated to me if you felt, at any time in the next three years, that you couldn't take it or do it anymore, and had to get out. I would have told you at the end of this week, one way or the other, so you'd know how serious this is.
"For the next three years of your life, Jimmy, you are going to have to be totally Holly, all the time. There's no going back for anything less than a life or death emergency! You can't just decide that you've had enough and call it quits. Remember I told you that they have ways of ‘locking' you into that suit? Well, they do, and they won't hesitate to do it if it's in their best interests to do it. It's only happened twice, that I know of, that someone has had to be called back to fill someone else's contract, but it has happened. Each time, the person who couldn't fill their contract was severely punished, financially and both of them ended up a lot worse off than they ever were before they started their contracts. I really can't say more than that. The management has ways of finding out things and if they learned that I had even told you this much, I could be punished to the tune of losing everything I've worked for these past three years."
I just stood there, looking at Eric through all of this. I'd known that this wasn't a ‘lark', or something I could just stop doing for any less a reason than serious illness, or a family death, but I hadn't realized that Eric could be punished if I couldn't carry through with this! He'd been so kind and understanding and helpful to me through all I had been experiencing, all the new stuff I was learning and all the new things I was going through.
"Now! Get moving, woman!" Eric suddenly shouted at me. "We have work to do! You gotta get ready for the salon. No excuses, young lady! Move it! Move it! Move it!" And he smacked me on my butt to hurry me along.
Well, I moved it! I scurried to the bathroom, undressed and got into the shower, keeping my hair dry, of course. I only stayed in there just long enough to get clean and then I grabbed a towel, wrapped myself up in it and scampered to the bedroom to get dressed.
At first I thought about just wearing a pair of jeans and a blouse, but then I thought about it and realized that if I did that, I'd be woefully under dressed when I came out after a makeover, so I decided on a knee length black skirt and an Ivory colored blouse with three quarter sleeves.
Simple jewelry and just a dab of makeup completed the look and I stepped into a pair of low heeled pumps. Grabbing my purse and dumping in a few essentials, I hurried out to the kitchen area where Eric was waiting for me, tapping his foot impatiently.
"You women!" He said grumpily. "Always taking forever to get ready and always at the last possible minute!"
I jabbed a finger at him in mock anger and said,
"Oh really? Well, my dear, it wasn't that long ago that you were the "woman" in question, was it? I'll bet you were always late wherever you were going, weren't you? Let's not be too judgmental, ok sweetie?"
Well, of course, we both broke up laughing and, after we wound down, he took me by the hand and looked into my eyes, saying quite seriously,
"You're going to do just fine as Holly, I know it. You're also going to enjoy this session at a salon, being pampered and spoiled as a woman has a right to be, from time to time. This is something no male can ever understand, this primping, pampering, painting and waxing that a woman claims, almost as a birthright. Well, today you are going to experience it for the first time in your life and, let me tell you, there's nothing like it. Additionally, when it's all finished, when all the makeup, facials, hair and all the rest is done, and you walk out of that salon looking like a couple of million dollars, proud of being who and what you are, well, there's no feeling like it in all the world. I can't even begin to describe it to you, you're just going to have to experience it for yourself to know that I'm right."
"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's get going! Honestly! You men! Always talking and never really getting to any kind of a point! My goodness, Eric, you're going to make us late! Now, move it, move it, move it!" I riposted.
He gave me one of those looks. You know, those "What the hell?" looks, but then I reached out and smacked him on the butt and started to laugh again. He realized then, that I was still in a good mood and kidding him. He jumped to attention and saluted me, saying,
"Yes Ma'am! Right away, Ma'am!" And he did a military about face, marching toward the door. Once there, he stopped, smartly stepped aside and waited for me, while holding the door open for me. Once I exited, he stepped through the door, did another one of those about face things and locked the door. Then he did one more about face and, facing me said,
"Will you precede me to the vehicle Ma'am?"
I tried to maintain a stern expression, but finally I couldn't stand it any longer and I began to giggle.
"Okay, okay Eric. I give. Let's get going so I can get pampered, painted and fussed over, like you said."
He also finally lost it and we laughed together as we walked to the Mustang. It was still a little odd to me that my rear end wanted to move from side to side the way it did, but I had been getting used to it, and I found it more than a little amusing that, when I glanced back at Eric, his gaze were firmly planted on my posterior. Apparently he was right about there being very few, if any, remaining female behaviors left over after a day or two out of the suit. Either that, or he was trying to remember what his posterior had looked like just two days earlier, when he was wearing this thing!
He held the car door for me and assisted me into the little car, then climbed in the driver's side and started the car. The big V-8 rumbled into life and sounded so sweet. There's just something about the sound of a big V-8 that's sexy or something. I can't explain it, but it did the same things to me as Holly, that it did when I was Jimmy. Anyway, Eric put it in gear and we shot off toward the salon.
Neither of us talked much on the way there. It seemed that we were both absorbed in our thoughts. I know _I_ was. A lot had happened to me in the last two days and absorbing all of it was almost getting to be too much. My thoughts were somewhat scattered and more than a little apprehensive. Could I do this? Should I do this? Could I drop out of it and let Eric down? Could I actually live for the next three years as a woman? Living, maybe even loving as one? What about my family? Would they "buy" my story, accounting for three years or more, mostly out of touch with them?
Before I even knew it, we were at the salon. Eric parked the car and got out, coming around to my side to assist me. He held the door for me again as we entered the salon and were greeted by a cheerful, smiling young woman whose name tag said she was "Shelley".
She pretty much ignored Eric and spoke directly to me, saying,
"Hi! It's so good to see you, Holly! Your chair and stylist are waiting for you like always. Just follow me and we can get you started." She then turned to Eric saying, "You can wait here for her, sir, or you can come back in a couple of hours. We should be done with her in about two hours if that's okay with you?" With that, she turned her back on Eric and, motioning to me to follow her, she walked off into the salon proper.
I looked at Eric and he had this ‘amused' expression on his face.
"She didn't treat me that way the last time I was here, but then again, I didn't look like an ‘Eric' then." He mused. "Go ahead, Holly. Enjoy this experience. For your information, and for future reference, Holly comes here all the time. She's, or rather you're a regular. Everyone her knows you and, if you search your memory, you'll find names to go with all the faces here. Have fun. I'm going to the sporting goods place across the road, and also to schedule some needed maintenance on the Mustang. I'll be back in a couple of hours." He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a little push to get me started, then off he went, out the door, leaving me all alone inside this bastion of femininity.
Well, with some misgivings and more than a little resignation I turned and followed ‘Shelley'. She led me to a chair near the back of the salon and got me seated. Then she turned to leave, saying,
"Now don't you worry a bit, honey. Nancy will be right with you and you know what a Wizard she is, with hair! By the time you leave here today, you'll look just like the beauty queen you really are, just like always! Have fun, hon! I'll see you when you leave." And off she went. ‘Sheesh! People are walking away from me in droves today.' I thought.
Before I had time to try to follow that thought line any further, a woman walked up to the chair I was seated in and announced that she was ‘Nancy' as is stated on her name tag. Well, I began to search my memory, as Eric had suggested I do and, by God, I did remember her! I mean, my Holly mind had memories of her...well, you know what I mean. Anyway, once that happened, a lot of memories started to make themselves known to me. Before too many more seconds went by, I was ‘remembering' many other visits to this salon and was actually anticipating, with great expectations, the results of this one. I knew the ‘girls' here would do a great job on me and I began to relax.
Over the course of the next two hours, I was, painted, primped, pampered and massaged to within an inch of my life and I loved every minute of it! For a little while there I was wondering to myself, ‘Why didn't I ever do this before? This is wonderful!' until it came crashing in on me that if I had done this before, I'd have been looked at as just a little bit on the odd side. Well, that made me giggle and then laugh out loud. Imagine! Coming here as Jimmy! Oh my God! And off I went, into gales of laughter. ‘Nancy' asked me what was so funny, and that made me laugh all the more. For a few minutes there I couldn't talk at all, only hiccup with laughter. Finally, I calmed down enough to be able to tell her,
"Oh, nothing important, Nancy. It's just something that Eric told me when he left. I just got it and it's so funny. Maybe someday I'll tell you about it."
(Author's note) I won't bother going into all the different processes that go on inside a salon. I'm sure your imaginations can supply many more details, than my ability to present them here, can. I also realize that my own experiences in a salon have been a total of one, so any explanations I could supply would only be those gathered from other stories, so....read on. Sorry.
It seemed like no time at all before I was pronounced ‘finished' by Nancy and the other girls there. My makeup had been done to a T, my nails sanded, polished, finished and sealed, my hair doing things hair was never intended to do, and I looked absolutely fabulous! I was completely captivated by the image I saw in the mirror, So much so that I almost forgot that I wasn't really female! Thoughts of how all the men were just going to drool when they saw me, filled my head, and all the tips I'd be getting if I went to work looking this good!
I finally turned from the mirror and thanked Nancy and all the other girls there for all their work.
"You've really outdone yourself, Nancy!" I gushed. "You and your staff are the best!" Then I went over to her and hugged her as further thanks. I swept out to the lobby and settled my bill with ‘Shelley' and added a huge tip. She said,
"Oh, Holly! You look just wonderful, of course, you always do anyway! Sometimes I don't know why you even bother coming here at all. You always look so youthful, so beautiful! It's like you never even age!" Then she leaned closer to me and whispered, "You're going to have to tell me your secret someday, girl. I'd give anything to look as good as you always do."
Well, I cracked up again. I laughed so hard that tears came from my eyes. When I could finally see again, I noticed that Shelley had a kind of hurt look on her face. I quickly went to her and hugged her, assuring her that I wasn't laughing at her. I just felt so good about myself and what I was doing and how I looked right then that I had to laugh about it. It just felt so good! Shelley finally understood that and she apologized for thinking that I was laughing at her. I told her,
"Shelley, my dear, don't ever feel bad about the way you look. You are just beautiful! I just know that you break hearts every time you go out, and any guy would have to consider himself lucky as hell to have you on his arm."
She smiled at me and I guess that meant we were friends still. I hugged her and right about then, Eric walked in. I saw him and disengaged myself from Shelley. I twirled for Eric, saying,
"Well, Eric, how do I look? Do I pass inspection?"
He pursed his lips, walked around me a couple of times, looking up and down my body, then he came right up and looked at my face closely. Then he backed off a couple of steps and shook his head, saying,
"Well, it's not bad. I guess it'll just have to do for now. Next time I expect much better from you and the girls, okay Nancy?"
I was shocked! I couldn't believe what I was hearing!
""Eric!" I almost screamed at him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I look wonderful and these women have worked so hard and you're acting like they just whitewashed a fence, and badly at that! How dare you insult them and me like this!"
I was fuming! I couldn't believe that Eric could be so insulting and condescending! I was getting ready to give him some more grief when I noticed that Nancy and all the women were smiling at me. All of a sudden I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I looked at Eric and he was smiling too! He looked back at me and said, in a loud voice,
"Gotcha!" And then he started to laugh. I stood there, not knowing quite what to think What was going on now?
Finally Eric calmed down enough to talk to me and he said,
"It's okay, Holly. All the women here know about HEADLIGHTS and the girls who work there. This is an official outlet OF the HEADLIGHTS chain and all the girls come here to get their hair and makeup and other stuff done. They even know who _I_ am, or who I used to be, and they know that I was only teasing you, and them. I'm sorry if it caused you any concern. You just looked so pleased with yourself that I had to mess with you a little bit. Truthfully, you do look incredible! It's easy to see that Nancy and her staff haven't lost their touch at all!"
Well, now I was embarrassed. To think that all these women knew that I was really a guy! Oh my God! I wanted to rush out of there, get back to the house, strip out of this damned suit and throw it at Eric. Oh! I was mad! I tried to swing a punch at Eric, but he just caught my hand effortlessly and pulled me into a tight embrace so I couldn't even move. Embarrassment on top of embarrassment! I even punched like a girl, and Eric handled me with no effort at all!
Well, I fumed and struggled and screeched at Eric for a minute or so until it became apparent to me that I couldn't get loose or hurt him at all. Finally I calmed a little bit and I could hear him trying to get me to chill out.
"Holly. Holly! It was just a joke! I didn't mean anything by it. C'Mon! Calm down!"
It took awhile, and it also took all the women in the place to finally convince me that everything was okay, but they finally did it. I still was convinced that this whole business with the suit was over and all I wanted to do was get out of it and call off the deal though.
Nancy looked really concerned and she looked at Eric and gave him a kind of nod. He tensed a little(I could feel that because he still hadn't let go of me)and then he said,
"Extreme Holly, On!"
I remember hearing that phrase, but I don't remember much of what happened after that until we got back to the house.
Eric has since told me that I calmed right down and acted like the real deal, pleased as punch about my experience at the salon. We got in the car and drove back to the house, accompanied by Nancy! Eric says that we talked about everything and nothing on the way back to the house and I was as charming a Holly as had ever been. I guess that the Jimmy part of me that was so angry, got temporarily buried by the extremely feminine Holly personality. At least that's what Eric says probably happened.
We entered the house and Eric got drinks for us all, while Nancy and I got settled in the living room. He brought us our drinks and we all sat down. Then he said,
Extreme Holly, Off"! And I remembered everything!
I just sat there for a second. I already knew that there was nothing I could do to Eric, at least physically. He was too much stronger than I and there was no point in even trying. I picked up my drink and glared at him and Nancy, though.
I took a sip, set the glass down and finally found it in me to speak.
"Eric, you son of a bitch! How could you set me up like that? I thought you were my friend and mentor in all this and you embarrassed me in front of all those people! Now they all know that I'm really a guy under this damned suit! How could you? I'm going into the bathroom and I'm getting out of this damned suit right now! You can take your deal and shove it! I don't care about your plans and dreams! You can be Holy until you die for all I care!" And I started to cry!
Eric waited until I ran down a bit and then he began to speak.
"Look, Holly. I know you're upset as all hell right now, and I don't blame you. I was trying to be funny and, at the same time, to let you know that we were in a ‘safe' environment. After everything went so well today, I thought you would be a receptive mood and take things the way they were meant. I had no intention of embarrassing you at all, I want to make that abundantly clear. I have nothing to gain if you back out of this deal, and everything to lose. As much as I loved being Holly, I do have things to do, a life to catch up on, and I can't do that unless I have someone to take my place. I'm sorry if you took things the wrong way. I thought you were more ready than you obviously are. It's my fault for assuming things. I promise you, it will never happen again."
Nancy got up from where she was sitting and came over to me. She sat down next to me and before I could get up, she hugged me.
"Please Holly, reconsider? I've known Eric for three years and he isn't a bad person at all. I know he never intended to hurt your feelings or embarrass you at all. Everyone at that salon today was an employee of the HEADLIGHTS GIRL conglomerate, and we all knew before you ever came in that you were the new Holly. We knew that you're a guy under all that and we don't care about that! Hell girl, most of us are really guys, or used to be anyway! I am, or rather, I was!"
Well, I damn near dropped my drink! Nancy was a guy? Most of those ‘women' at the salon were guys? Now, I knew that some of the employees at the club were guys, but I didn't know that most of them were! At least I didn't remember Eric telling me that. Okay. Now I had to think.
Was I really mad at Eric and Nancy? Was it because I was embarrassed by them? Was I embarrassed by them or was I embarrassed by my own feelings and doubts? Okay, I did have my doubts, my fears of being ‘discovered' masquerading as a beautiful woman. Hell, who wouldn't? Even though I knew that I was completely undetectable as male while I wore the suit, I was still afraid that someone would tumble to my secret and make me look like a complete fool or worse, some kind of pervert!
Plus, there was something inside me that was telling me that what I was doing was wrong. I didn't know what it was back then, but I know, now. It was that thing that gets practically beaten into every man from the time he's old enough to understand human speech.
"You're a man, and you have to act like a man! Trying to act like a woman is weak and soft and wrong! Men are good, women are bad! If you are a man, and you try to pretend to be a woman, you're a fag, a pervert, a queer! And the way we deal with "those" kinds of people is, we beat them up, we embarrass them, we expose them for what they are and then kill them, if necessary!"
"Oh, honey, cried Nancy, I know!"
I know now that those things are wrong, terribly wrong, but that's what was haunting me, then.
See, I didn't know about Transsexuals or Transvestites or any of that stuff, then. I only had ever heard about fags and queers and perverts. Oh sure, I'd watched, in horrified terror, the cartoon "Queens" that paraded up and down the stage on the Jerry Springer show, but I didn't know that they were not the usual TS or TV. They were the lunatic fringe of those kinds of people, or they were actors paid to act the way they did on that show.
So you can understand, I hope, the state my mind was in back then. I've learned a lot in these last two years or so, and I know now that what I was thinking back then, was wrong. Looking back, I think that's the reason I reacted so badly to Eric's attempted joke. That's why I was so frightened and ready to ditch that suit and all it meant.
So, anyway, Nancy was hugging me and telling me that everything was really okay, but it wasn't working. I couldn't get past the part where she had said that she was a guy, too, and now she was hugging me? Trying to console me? No!
I jumped up off that chair like it was on fire and ran into the bedroom, screaming. Eric tried to stop me, but I managed to dodge around him and I slammed that door behind me, locking it. Again, looking back, it's only a matter of chance that I went to the bedroom and not to the bathroom. If I'd made it to the bathroom, I would've drawn the tub full of hot water and soaked myself right out of this suit, and right out of the most fascinating, satisfying and profitable years of my life. As it was, I was locked into the bedroom, screaming and crying.
Eric and Nancy tried to get me to come out, but I wouldn't. I couldn't face them. I couldn't face myself! I methodically broke every mirror in the bedroom, even the little ones in compacts of makeup. I couldn't bear to look at myself.
Finally, after I had been freaking out in that bedroom for maybe a half hour, I heard Eric calling to me saying,
"Look, Jimmy! If you don't come out of there and talk to me, I'm going to have to use that command phrase and make you come out against your will. Now I don't want to do that, but you're leaving me no choice. If you still want to call this off after we talk, I'll understand. I'll be disappointed, and it'll mess up my plans for the rest of my life, but I won't force you into staying Holly if you really don't want to. We do have to talk first though, okay? Nancy is going to leave if you want her to, but I really think you need to talk to her too. I'm going to give you five minutes to get yourself together and then I'm going to have to make you come out whether you want to or not, understood?"
Well, I had no choice, did I? Either I came out of my own accord, or Eric was gonna make me come out. Of the two, I figured that of my own free will was the better choice. I took several deep breaths, got myself more or less together, and unlocked and opened the door. There was no one there, and when I ventured down the hall to the living room area, there were Eric and Nancy sitting on the couch. They looked at me and I looked at them. For a second or two, nobody said anything.
Then Nancy got up, slowly. She said,
"Jimmy, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I'm not laughing at you. I would never do that. I know you're thinking some awful things right now, and I feel like some of that is my fault. I'll leave if you want me to, but I'd rather stay and try to help you with this. Which do you want me to do?"
She made no move towards me and the look on her face was one of sympathy and sorrow. Eric hadn't even moved or said anything yet. I stood there and I thought. Well, they said they just wanted to talk and the final decision was my choice. Despite what I thought Eric and Nancy had tried to do to me that day, I still thought I could trust Eric to do what he said he'd do, so I went over to the chair opposite the couch and slowly sat down.
Nancy was still looking at me expectantly and I finally found enough of my voice to say to her,
"Sit down, Nancy. I'll agree to listen to what you two have to say, but you need to know that I want to call this whole deal off, right now. I'm sorry if that'll mess up your life, Eric, but you never told me about these feelings and you never told me about the salon. Maybe if you had told me, I might be seeing this a lot differently, but I'm not right now and I don't think there's anything you two can say that'll change my mind. You're welcome to try though, so have at it. Oh, one other thing. I don't want you to refer to me as anything but Jimmy or Jim for this conversation. If I hear ‘Holly' one time, I'm done, and I don't give a shit about whether or not is messes up any programming. Understood?"
Eric looked directly at me and said, slowly and clearly,
"Understood Jim, but please don't fly off the handle again if one of us slips up and calls you H..., sorry. If one of us calls you by that other name. Looking the way you do right now it's hard for me to remember that you aren't really her, okay?"
"Okay" I answered.
Nancy sat down, and Eric asked us if we wanted new drinks before we started. Well, I said, "Hell yes I want a drink!" and Nancy said she'd have one too. I told Eric to make mine a double or maybe even a triple, as I figured I was going to need it to bolster my nerves. So Eric went to fix the drinks and Nancy and I sat there, opposite one another.
I couldn't look at her directly, but out of the side of my vision I could see her looking at me with a look of concern on her face. She didn't speak at all until after Eric came back with our drinks.
He sat mine down on the coffee table, within my grasp, and backed up to sit on the couch with Nancy, making no other move in my direction. I leaned over and grabbed the glass and slugged about half of it down all at once. It burned, but it helped clear my mind a bit. I sat back with the glass in my hand and said,
"So talk. I'm listening, but this had better be really good or I am outta here!"
And talk they did. They told me all about Transsexuals and Transvestites, about gays and lesbians, about a lot of things I had never heard of before then. They said that they understood what I might be feeling about those things, and then they asked me to tell them about my thoughts. So I did.
I told them about feeling guilty and unmanly doing this. I told them about my fears and doubts and I told them about what I had always been told, grew up believing, about TGs and TVs and TSs and queers and fags. I told them how I felt like a pervert doing this and about being scared of being found out and exposed and embarrassed.
Eric held up his hand at that point and said,
‘Wow! Okay, that's a load of guilt you've been carrying around for a lot of years and I now understand why you freaked out today at the salon and back here. First of all, let me address the "being found out and exposed part. You should know by now that there is no way for anyone to ever find out who you really are under that suit, Jim. It makes you absolutely indistinguishable from any real woman in the world with the exception being that you can't get pregnant in it. Every movement, every mannerism, every possible way for anyone to tell that you're not a real woman is covered, either by the stuff built into the suit, or by the stuff on the tapes."
"You never tumbled to the fact that _I_ wasn't a real woman until I told you, and even then you didn't really believe me until I showed you by taking off the suit, right? Well, if you couldn't tell, what makes you think that anyone else could? The answer is.....they can't. No one can. The suits are so perfect that even a Doctor can't tell. Nancy can tell you that and Nancy should know, because she is, or was, a doctor!"
Well now, that was a shocker to me. I looked at Nancy and she nodded in the affirmative. She said,
"Yes, H...I mean Jim. I was a doctor, a long time ago. The pressure of people depending on me every day, to save their lives, to patch up broken and shattered people, got to be too much for me and I had a breakdown. I was at the club one night, trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life when I met one of the ‘girls'. Her name was Nancy. I think she saw that I was at the end of my rope and she invited me to come home with her after her shift was over. Well, to make a long story short, I went, and she explained to me, after a long steamy evening about who and what she really was."
Nancy took a sip from her drink and continued.
"Like you, I couldn't believe what she was saying. I figured she was just some bimbo trying to run a scam on me, or trap me into something. Well, she was near the end of her contract, her second one, by the way, and she wanted out to resume her old life, so she asked me the same things I'm sure that Eric here, asked you. She gave me the whole story and asked me if I wanted to "take over for her". Well, I figured I'd humor this poor deluded girl and I said ‘Sure, Honey. Whatever you say.' I even humored her to the point where I gave her an impromptu gynecological exam, right there on her bed. She sure looked real, and good, to me."
"Wait a second here, wait a second!" I broke in. “You were a doctor? I mean a real, 'pass the scalpel, suction here, retractor there,' doctor?"
"Yes, Jim," she responded. "I was. I had even done some SRS, that's Sexual Reassignment Surgery to you, on at least four Transsexuals. Jim, in the time I was a doctor, I saw every kind of human misery there is. I saw it every damn day! It just got to be too much for me and I, well, I just lost it. Kind of the way you did today only much worse, in it's own way. I lost a patient I should have been able to save, because I was so lost in my own misery and pain, and I didn't pay enough attention to symptoms I had seen a dozen times before. As a result, a young woman with a family, died. Some kids had to grow up without a Mom. A husband had to go on with his life without the love of his life, because of my stupid error. So I just quit, that very day. I walked out of the hospital and never returned. I lost touch with all my friends, my family, my life. I drank myself into a stupor and was ready to end it all that night I met Nancy."
She stopped for a minute, sipping from her drink, trembling, seemingly on the verge of tears. Eric looked like he was ready to cry as well. I just sat there, hardly believing what I was hearing. This thing just got more unbelievable the further I went into it!
Finally Nancy seemed to get some control back and started to speak again.
"So," she said, "Nancy shed her suit that night after calling in to the club and arranging for the week off. I still didn't believe a word of what she had told me until that suit started to wrinkle up. Well, I didn't freak out when that happened, I'm proud to say. Maybe I should have, but I was too drunk and too apathetic to care much about it. I helped her out of the suit as I'm sure you helped Eric, and then I passed out. When I woke up the next morning with the mother of all hangovers, there was this guy in the kitchen, fixing breakfast. I asked him who the hell he was and he said,
"Well, last night I was Nancy. Today I'm Brian. Don't you remember last night, and the bodysuit?"
I didn't, of course, and he went back over that last night with me, and all he said he'd told me. I didn't believe a word of it, yet somehow, I wanted to believe it, you know? As wild and crazy as it sounded, if it was true, it was maybe a way out for me. An escape from a life I had wanted to end anyway."
By this time, Nancy's drink was gone, and Eric got up to refresh it for her. I handed him my glass as well, and asked for a refill. In spite of myself, I was fascinated by this story and, as closely as it resembled my own experience, it was still interesting to hear it from another viewpoint. When Eric returned with the fresh drinks, Nancy continued.
"Well, as crazy as it sounded to me," Nancy went on. "and as apathetic as I was about my own life, taking over a different life sounded like just the ticket to me. Even if it turned out to be as much of a load of bullshit as I believed it to be, it would still be good for a laugh and I could still commit suicide whenever I wanted to, so I sat and listened to the whole story all over again, only this time I was sober. Brian talked me into trying out the suit and I did. The rest is pretty much history."
"That was ten years ago. I went from waitress, to dancer, to manager, to head of the salon in that time. I've never looked back, until tonight, and I've never regretted my decision. I'm Nancy now and forever, and I don't ever want to change that. I love my life now. I'm much more relaxed and in control of myself. I don't have life or death decisions to have to make anymore, and if I make a mistake, the worst that can happen is I'll ruin a hairstyle! Is it different, being a real woman? Well, yes and no. I still have two hands, two arms, two legs, a brain, so in that sense, no it's no different. It's more in the way I approach everyday life, where the differences lie. I'm not going to go any further into that unless and until you make your decision tonight, and it HAS to be tonight. Eric will need all the time he can get to get back into that suit and get used to it all over again."
As I tried to digest everything I had heard, I glanced over at a clock on the wall. It read 8 o'clock! That meant that we had been back from the salon for over two and a half hours!
Eric noticed my look at the clock and, checking his watch, he announced that he was hungry and was going to order out. We decided to go with that and placed our orders by phone, hopefully to be delivered in the next 30 minutes. In the meantime, it seemed like I had a decision to make.
Eric told me that he wanted to say a few more things before I made any decision, so I said, okay, go for it.
"Okay, Jim. Here's the deal. I made you a lot of promises when this all started, and I followed through, so far, on almost all of them. I screwed up today, I'll admit that, but I really thought you were getting used to the suit and the thought of being Holly. I also overestimated your resolve, and I didn't have any idea that you felt some of the things you have told us about tonight. So here's the deal, a new deal. If you decide to go through with this, you decide tonight before we go to bed. Like Nancy said, if you don't decide to do this, I'm going to need all the time I can get to get used to the suit again and to change a lot of plans I had already set in motion. Now. If you do decide to do this, I'll make you an alternate deal."
"The original deal was for three years. If, after one year, you decide you can't handle it anymore, I will come back and finish out your contract. I'll of course keep any money that Holly makes from that point on, and you get to bow out with whatever you've managed to put away. I'll clear it with Management, but I'm certain they'll agree to this, especially if Nancy here backs me up on it, but this is all I can or will do, Jim. So you think about it while we wait for our food, and while we eat, and right up until we go to bed tonight. No more talking from me or Nancy about it. We've said everything we can think of to say. The ball is in your court now. Serve, or get off the court, it's as simple as that. I'm not mad at you, Jim. Just a little disappointed in you and lot disappointed about the rest of my life that I'll have to change if you don't do this."
He stood up and walked back to the couch and sat down next to Nancy. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I'd had a lot thrown at me in a very short time, and my head was spinning from that, and from the idea of spending a year, or three years, as a woman. Strangely, the booze I'd been pouring down my throat didn't seem to be having much, if any, effect on me at all. I mentioned this to Eric and he said,
"Don't you remember? The suit has a direct effect on your health, and that includes normally poisonous substances like alcohol. It, the suit that is, tends to neutralize most poisons, or lessen their effect on you. You could, theoretically, drink all night and not get more than a slight buzz on. An interesting little plus, don't you agree? Makes it real difficult for some guy or gal to try to get you drunk and take advantage of you.
While I was pondering that little tidbit of information, the doorbell went off. Eric answered it and it was our food. He paid the delivery guy and we all sat down at the table in the kitchen to eat.
By the time I had finished, I was feeling considerably better. Hunger makes you cranky sometimes. I had been thinking, all the time we'd been eating. I realized that a lot of my fears had been addressed and satisfied. A lot of my doubts and misinformation had been set right in our conversation that evening. I guess I always knew that I was going to do this, regardless of what I had gone through that day. I'd promised that I would, and if my life had taught me anything it was that, once you promised something, you did it, or you came up with a damned good reason why you didn't do it.
So, even with my freaking out act, it didn't alter the fact that I had promised Eric I'd do this. My cover story was all set with my family and my few friends, and it seemed that it had been accepted by them.
I got up from the table and went into the living room to sit down for a few more minutes alone before announcing my decision. I knew I still had the time between then and the time we went to bed, but I also knew that Nancy had to go home, and Eric would have to drive her. I also knew that she would want to hear my decision. By the time Eric and Nancy came into the living room, I was pretty much ready.
After they sat down and got comfortable, I cleared my throat and announced my decision.
Eric and Nancy sat there with expectant looks on their faces. I cleared my throat and announced,
"Before I tell you what my decision is, I want to make some things clear to both of you, and to add one more proviso to this deal."
They looked at one another and then back at me. Eric said,
"All I can promise you is that I'll listen, Jim. I can't guarantee anything beyond that. I will say that, as long as your proviso isn't out of line, or unworkable under the rules of the club, I'm sure we can come to an agreement. So let's hear what you have to say."
Nancy chimed in, saying,
"Jim, is there anything else you want or need to know about this before you make your decision? Do you have any other questions for either of us?"
"No, Nancy." I replied. "You two have answered every question I can think of. You've also addressed some concerns and worries I had, even though I didn't know that I had them. So, my decision is that I agree to take over as Holly, for Eric. I'll do it for the full three years. I won't be asking to get out of the contract for anything other than a death in my family or something equally as devastating as that. I apologize for freaking out like I did. I was so uncertain and so convinced that you two had set me up for the greatest humiliation of my life, and I acted out of emotion, not out of thought. Had I thought about it for even one second, I'd have recognized what you two were doing at the salon, and I'd have taken it just for what it was. Please forgive me?"
Eric got up off the couch and came over to me slowly, accompanied by Nancy.
‘There's nothing to forgive, Holly. I should have been more understanding and should have recognized that you weren't picking up on our little "joke". I will promise you right now, that I'll never knowingly try to humiliate you or make fun of you, ever."
Nancy also said much the same things, and I got up from my chair. We did one of those group hug things and all breathed a sigh. Me from having reached a decision about the biggest change in my life, ever, and then, I assumed, from relief that I was going to honor my word, thereby allowing Eric to carry through with his plans for his life.
"Wow." Eric exclaimed. "That's a load off my mind. Oh, don't get me wrong, Holly. It was great fun being Holly, as well as being very profitable and educational. It's just that my cover story is about to run it's course, and my folks and friends are waiting for me to contact them to let them know that I'm back from my "commitment to my country." That's the story I gave them to explain my three year absence. That I was doing some kind of “Peace Corps" thing and I'd be out of the country and out of touch with them for most of that time. I still wrote a letter or two, both to them and to a couple of friends, but that was the extent of our contact for three years."
By this time, it was getting late, and Nancy looked like she wanted to get going, so I stopped Eric right there and mentioned that to him. He agreed and, after Nancy and I said our goodbyes, they headed for the door. I called after them, saying,
"I'll be here when you get back, Eric. Don't worry. Just drive carefully."
‘Okay Holly." He called back over his shoulder. "I shouldn't be more than a half hour, tops. If you want or need to talk more when I get back, it's no problem. You might as well get a bath or shower while I'm gone. I'll lock up and set the alarm. See you in a little while, Holly." And with that, he and Nancy walked out the door.
I heard the door close and lock, but I didn't get up from the couch right away. I just sat there and thought about what I'd just agreed to do. After this was over, I'd have to go some to top it for experiences, I knew that for certain. Chuckling to myself a little bit, I also thought that nothing short of an alien abduction could possibly top this.
Well, sitting there wasn't accomplishing anything so I figured I might as well get up and take a bath. I strolled into the bathroom and began filling the tub, adding some bath salts and some bubble bath to the mix. ‘What the hell'. I said to myself. ‘I might as well enjoy this, or learn to enjoy it. I'm going to be doing this for the foreseeable future.'
I went to the bedroom while the tub was filling, and got undressed. It was still very, very new to me to see this extremely female body in a mirror, and I took my time, enjoying what I saw, while marveling at the sheer amount of technology that must have gone into the design of this suit and the others like it. I could feel every touch, every breath of air on my skin, no matter how light it was. I felt...well, sensual, I guess. It was still too new to me, to feel that way, and I wasn't really used to it, that feeling of softness, of sheer sexiness that this body, this suit seemed to exude.
Shaking my head a little bit to clear my thoughts, I scurried back to the bathroom to make sure the tub didn't overflow, and to make sure that the water temperature wasn't too high. I was just in time, and I shut it off, checked the temperature, and grabbed a couple of towels from the cabinet just inside the bathroom door. A large one to wrap around myself when I was done, and a smaller one to use as a turban for my hair.
I placed them near enough to the tub so I could get them without leaving the tub, and then I eased into that lovely smelling water. Once in, I just laid back and enjoyed the feel and the aroma of the bubble bath. Again I marveled at the suit. It felt for all the world like my own skin, and I luxuriated there for a little while.
Finally, I began the process of getting clean. I washed my hair(what a job that was with all that long hair), rinsed, re lathered and rinsed. Then I applied a conditioner making sure I got that all the way out to the ends of my hair. While that soaked in, I washed, and that was another one of those "I don't have the time to explain my feelings about it" things. Suffice it to say that it was totally different from when I bathed as Jimmy, and it took longer. I guess I lingered in certain areas for a bit longer than I ordinarily would have.
When I finished my bath, I grabbed the large towel and began to pat myself dry, while draining the tub. By the time I was sufficiently dry to wrap myself with the towel, the tub had drained, and I adjusted the shower head to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. The warm water seemed to finish the job that the bath started, and I felt really relaxed and more at ease than at any time since this whole thing had begun. I finally got all the conditioner out of my hair and started the process of getting the excess water out of it. Again, a significantly bigger job than when I was Jimmy. I finally got it dry enough so I could wrap the smaller towel around it, (actually getting it right!) and stood at the sink, looking into the mirror at the pretty girl with the towel on her head.
Then I began a process that would become normal for me for the next three years. Deep cleansing and moisturizing. Being very careful, even though I knew that my new skin, while softer and smoother, was very tough stuff. Far tougher than my ‘real' skin was. When I finished that process, I headed for the bedroom. About halfway there, I heard the door opening and I called out,
"Is that you, Eric?"
"Yes, it is, Holly." Was the response from Eric. Let me get locked up and get the alarm set and then we can talk if you need or want to. Do you want anything to eat, or drink?"
"Nothing to eat, Eric," I shouted back, "but a drink would be nice. Something non-alcoholic, I think would be best. Actually, an ice cold Pepsi(TM) would be just great. I'll be out in just a few minutes, as soon as I dry my hair, and put on some clothes."
"Okay, Holly." He answered. "One ice cold Pepsi(TM)coming up. I'll just watch some TV while I wait for you."
I sat down at the vanity in my room and got my hair dryer going. Surprisingly, in a very short time, my hair was pretty much completely dry, and I got up to find some pajamas.
Finding a really pretty sleep set consisting of a lacy top and some very silky bottoms, I climbed into them and, began brushing my hair. It seemed to fall right into place without too much assistance from me, again surprising me a little bit, but I figured it was either a quality of the suit itself, or the skills that I was learning from the tapes. Finishing that little job, I walked back out of the bedroom towards the living room.
I couldn't help noticing the way I walked now. It felt so completely different to me from the way I'd walked as Jimmy, but at the same time, it seemed very natural to have my hips swaying back and forth and my elbows held close to my sides with the forearms bent outwards and my wrists bent downward slightly. I could feel my hair brushing against my shoulders and back, and it felt very soft and heavy, but nice.
I was beginning to notice a lot of things that I did differently now, though. The past two days had been so frantic and seemingly rushed, that I hadn't had a lot of time to notice these differences. Now that I was somewhat relaxed, they were making themselves known. I even noticed the way I smelled now. Kind of fresh and clean and....well, girly.
Well, I found Eric watching TV, a mixed drink in his hand and a bag of Cheetos(TM) in his lap. ‘Typical guy'. I thought to myself. We just ate not two hours ago and he's snacking already. He looked up when I entered the room, and said,
"Your Pepsi(TM) is in the fridge. I opened it for you, but I left it in there so it wouldn't get warm. Go ahead and grab it and come sit down. Do you feel like you need to talk some more? Do you have any more questions or doubts you need to get answers for?"
I went and got my soft drink and then went into the living room, sitting down on the couch, facing Eric. Taking a drink, I settled into the couch and thought for a moment, then I said,
"I've learned a lot today, Eric. I now know a whole bunch of things I never did before. Some of them I hadn't ever even thought about before, quite honestly. All that stuff about Transsexuals and Transvestites and cross dressers was all lumped together in my mind under the heading of ‘queer' until tonight. I never knew there were differences between them, nor did I know the definitions, for that matter. It's a lot to take in, in one sitting, but I can see where I was wrong to think the way I did for all this time as Jimmy. The way I was raised and all my school friends, all used the word ‘queer' to cover all those things, and that's the way _I_ learned. I know now that it was wrong. Now, especially now, wearing this suit, and listening to you and Nancy this evening has made me see just how wrong it was to think that way and I'm a little bit ashamed to admit that I was that prejudiced and ignorant."
Eric put aside his Cheetos(TM) and drink and leaned toward me. He said,
‘Look, Holly. A lot more people than you would think, suffer under the same prejudices you just admitted to, and they don't realize how wrong they are either. Unless someone explains it to them, in terms they can understand, they don't see how hurtful they can be. Now, granted, wearing the suit and pretending to be Holly, doesn't strictly fall under any of the headings you've learned about tonight, but it kind of covers all the bases. You don't want to be a real woman, so you're not transsexual. You are wearing, and will be wearing, woman's clothing, but only because looking the way you do, you're expected to wear women's clothes, so you're not technically a cross dresser. You aren't deriving any sexual thrill from wearing woman's clothes other than the normal way a woman feels when she wears them, so you aren't a Transvestite. Yet, you are pretending to be a real woman, so technically you fall into all the categories. I know it's confusing, but if you don't think about it too much, you'll find that thoughts like those tend to be forgotten, or at least minimized with the trials and tribulations of everyday life as a gorgeous woman becomes normal for you."
He stopped and took a drink and continued.
"Holly, believe me. This is going to be the most eye opening, educational and probably the most profitable thing you're ever going to do, in your whole life. The things you're going to be learning and experiencing in the next three years, are going to serve you in ways you can't begin to imagine and the money you're going to be able to put away, if you're smart, is going to set you up so you can do just about anything you want to do. Whether you want to go to college, or set yourself up in some kind of business, or just take it easy for a few years, is going to be completely up to you and not up to the caprices of fate. Added to all that, there is the possibility that you're going to enjoy yourself so much that you decide to go for another three years, or even decide to stay as Holly for the rest of your life. That's not as unbelievable as you might think right now, you know. Nancy is just one of many who decided they had better, more rewarding lives as women than they could ever have had as men." When Eric stopped again to take another drink, I broke into his monologue, saying,
"That's not something I even want to think about at this stage, Eric. I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that, for the next three years, everyone is going to see me and know me as "That Sexy, young cutie at HEADLIGHTS". I'll be presenting myself a gorgeous young woman. A woman, for God's sake! Oh, don't worry. I'm not backing out. I'm going through with this, no matter what. You can't tell me that you didn't have a lot of these questions and fears when you started this, can you?"
Eric shook his head in the negative.
"No, Holly. I honestly can't say that I didn't have questions. I did. Many of them. I guess I've been Holly for so long that the answers to these questions seem self evident to me and I don't even think about them anymore. I've forgotten what it was like for me, the first time _I_ climbed into that suit. Look, it's getting late. What do you say we go to bed and get some sleep. I'm tired and you must be exhausted. Things will seem a lot different, maybe better, after a good night's sleep. What do you say?" I couldn't argue with his reasoning. I was exhausted. This whole day had been a roller coaster of emotions and I felt very drained, physically and emotionally. I yawned just about then and then I said,
"You're right again, Eric. I think I really need some shuteye. Let's call it a night and see how differently things look in the morning."
I got up from the couch and took my empty soft drink can to the sink where I dumped what was left and rinsed the can out. Setting is in the sink I turned to Eric who was watching me and said,
"Good night, Eric. Thanks for being so understanding and honest with me. I know I was a pain in the ass today and you and Nancy stood by and let me have my hissy fit. That went a long way towards calming me down, and it figured, in a big way, in my decision tonight. I appreciate it, and I appreciate the chances you've given me. This is the biggest thing that anyone could possibly offer someone. A chance to see how things really are on the other side of the gender line, and to put away a nice chunk of money besides. I'll see you in the morning, Eric."
I actually hugged Eric then, and as I turned to head for my bedroom, I heard Eric say,
"No problem, Holly. I had the sense from you from the very start that you were a person of honor and commitment. I'm glad to see that I was right about you, and you are quite welcome. As a matter of fact, it's _I_ who should be thanking you, Jimmy, and that's the last time I plan to use that name for you for the next three years or more. By taking over for me, you're giving me the chance to pick up my life where I left it, only much better off for my experiences, and quite a bit better off in my finances. So, goodnight, Holly, and thank you!"
I scampered back to my bedroom, feeling a lot better about a lot of things. The trust between me and Eric had been restored. I'd found a new friend in Nancy, I believed. I'd made my decision, one I wasn't going to back out on, no matter what happened from here on out. Hell, I was even still feeling the excitement and savoring the experiences I'd had in the salon that day, notwithstanding my emotional meltdown immediately following it. Even that had taught me something, and had led me to a greater and clearer understanding of myself, and of other people who I used to view as sick, or perverted. I knew, now, that the way I thought back then was wrong. In fact, the way I'd thought back then was, itself, perverse. All in all, a hell of a day.
I turned back the covers on the bed and climbed in, pulling the sheet and blanked back over me. I was asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I slept the night through with a clear conscience, and a happy heart.
I slept, as they say, the sleep of the dead. I slept as I've never slept before, peacefully, without nightmares. I slept with sweet dreams and, when I awoke, it was around 9A.M. I could faintly hear, through the open window, the sounds of birds, and kids at play, and somewhere off in the distance, a lawn mower.
The house was quiet and I just laid there, luxuriating in the bed, feeling as I had never felt before. Messages coming into my brain from my body, were telling me that I was young, healthy and female. Well, I was female, at least for the next three years. Surprisingly that thought didn't seem to have the effect it might have had, or maybe should have had. I'd made a conscious decision to play this role, and I actually felt good about it, for the first time since this whole, strange journey began. I had no regrets, no reservations, no qualms whatsoever. I attribute a lot of that to the programming on the tapes, but a lot of it was due to the fact that I had finally accepted this female guise.
Somehow, through the process of freaking out yesterday, the conversation I had with Eric and Nancy, and my own sense of fair play and honor, all the misgivings and fears I'd had, were gone. I concentrated on those messages from my body, and although they were different from any messages I'd ever received before, and they weren't unwelcome. It seemed that, having accepted, even embraced, the finality of my decision. I'd come to be at peace within this female shell, and I felt great! I lazily caressed my breasts, the nipples standing at attention the moment I touched them, sending a shiver through my whole being. How wonderful!
Knowing I had work ahead of me, I managed to tear my hands away from my body and I strrreeeeetched, one of those whole body stretches where every muscle in your body gets involved. Finally, I threw back the covers and sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, to the floor. Feeling around with my toes, I located my slippers and slipped them on. I stood up, stretched again, grabbed a robe from the back of my bedroom door and shrugged into it.
How can I describe the feeling of that robe, of those pajamas on my smooth, silky skin? How can I describe the feeling of being perched on three inch high heeled slippers, knowing that I'd be wearing them for the foreseeable future? Well, I can't. Not completely. There's no way to describe things like that to anyone who hasn't experienced them. It would be like trying to explain color to someone born blind, Beethoven to someone born deaf. Now I'm not saying that I felt as if I had been missing anything as Jimmy. On the contrary. My life as a male had been good, and I'd never had any reason to wonder about how it felt to be a woman, of how women felt about themselves, their bodies.
Now, feeling how different it was as a woman, from how I had felt as a male, there was almost a feeling that I had missed out on something. Frankly, I'd never felt more alive, more vital than I felt that morning. I guess the one thing I can point to, the one big difference was that I was fully awake the moment I opened my eyes. As Jimmy, I had never been a morning person. It usually took two or three Pepsi's(TM) before I felt ready to face the day.(remember, I never was a coffee drinker, either)
I swayed my way into the bathroom and removed a large towel from the cabinet, closing and locking the door behind me. I couldn't have Eric walking in on me while I showered now, could I? Giggling, I undressed and got the shower running. I found a shower cap and tucked my hair up under it, making sure I got all the strands safely in there. I had washed my hair last night and I didn't want to have to do that this morning. Once that was done, and the water temperature was checked, I stepped into the shower and began cleaning the night dirt from my body. Now was the time when the differences in Holly's body made themselves apparent. Smooth hairless skin, protrusions where none had ever been before, an indentation where once there was a protrusion, and the feelings coming from those areas. Soft, sensual, sexy feelings that, if I wasn't careful, would take me places I'd never been before, I knew that.
While caressing myself with the soap, my mind began to drift a bit and I found myself daydreaming of a lover's touches. A strange tension began to build within me, one I'd never experienced before. I went with those feelings and continued touching myself, becoming more intimate as I went. Before long, my fingers encountered that secret place between my legs and a jolt went through my whole body when I first touched myself down there. The imaginary lover in my mind underwent a transmogrification and, instead of picturing myself with a woman, as I had been doing, there was instead, a man there in my mind. He was caressing me, touching me, taking me somewhere I'd never been before, but one I wanted to go to, desperately!
I felt the tension build, and build, and somewhere in there, I inserted a finger where no finger had ever gone before. Wow! What was that? I withdrew the finger, fearing that I'd hurt myself with my long nail, but no, there was no blood, no skin that shouldn't have been there. Now there was a feeling of being empty down there. The tension began to fade a bit and I didn't want it to, so I slowly, carefully, re-inserted the finger, looking for that spot again. There! There it was! That sudden jolt. Now there was a need and I gave in to it.
My other hand began caressing my breasts and the tension increased. As I rubbed and pinched my nipples, I felt the tension go higher and higher, and with my finger sliding slowly in and out of that indentation between my legs, I felt something beginning to build. I added another finger in there and that tension went higher and higher until, all of a sudden, I felt like I'd fallen off the edge of a cliff.
I floated there for a second, and then I began shaking, shivering, almost convulsing! It scared me a bit, but it felt so good that I couldn't have stopped myself if I'd wanted to, which I didn't. So this was a female orgasm! Wow! Never could I have imagined that it felt this good for a woman. My knees slowly gave way and I slid down the shower wall to end up sitting on the floor of the tub. Every muscle in my body seemed to have relaxed, but then, there was another jolt, and another, and another! In between each jolt there was a slight buildup, and then a release. My mind seemed to go into a dream state, and I just sat there, drained, feeling very good and very relaxed.
‘Whew!' I thought to myself, when I was able to think again. That was intense! That was amazing! That was.....about that time another thought inserted itself into my mind. That thought was, "If simple masturbation was that good, what would it be like with a real live man doing those things to me?" And then, bang! My mind hit a kind of wall. My eyes opened wide and I got frightened! ‘What the hell was I thinking about? I was a man, just a couple of days before! How could I even be thinking about letting another man have his way with me?'
Well, that sobered me up quickly and I quickly stood up to finish my shower. Rinsing off, I shut off the water and reached outside the shower door for the towel. Finding it, I quickly patted myself dry and stepped out of the tub, taking off the shower cap at the same time. I tossed the cap in the sink, and wrapped the towel around my body as I had seen women do. I gathered up my night clothing from the floor of the bathroom and, opening the door, I scurried back to my bedroom, again closing and locking the door behind me. I hung the towel on the back of the doorknob, and turned to survey my body in the full length mirror on the wall.
Yep. No doubt about the fact that I was now a full fledged woman. Long, curly, soft hair topped a face that could have launched a thousand ships. Beneath that a body calculated to drive men to distraction and lust. Large, firm breasts, a narrow waist that flared out into what could only be called child bearing hips. Then, there it was. That ‘secret place.' That place where life could emerge from. That place that every man wants to get into. I stared at it. I examined it, as best I could without starting things up all over again. The hair there was soft and silky, not at all like the hair down there was, when I was Jimmy. Amazing. From there long smooth, gorgeous legs ended in the cutest feet I had ever seen, painted toenails at their terminus just served to reinforce the total feminine package that was staring back at me from that mirror.
I could feel that panic begin to build again...the feeling that this wasn't right. I shouldn't look like this. I'm a man for God's sake! By sheer force of will, I forced those panicky feelings back down inside me. I was not going to let them take me over again! I couldn't stop thinking about this, but I was not going to let it get the best of me again. Finally succeeding at quelling those feelings, I moved away from the mirror and began to get dressed for the day.
Picking out a matching bra and panty set, I then moved to the closet. I found a pair of jeans that hadn't been there the day before and which looked new. I figured that Eric must have gotten them for me. ‘How sweet!' I remember thinking. I tossed everything on the bed and searched through the closet for a blouse or a top. Finding a light yellow, spaghetti strapped pullover, I added it to the pile on the bed. I took my nightclothes and towel, and deposited them in a hamper near the closet.
Then I returned to the bed to begin dressing. I had performed this task every day since donning this bodysuit, but it seemed to feel more sensual this morning, more intimate. The panties, as I slid them slowly up my legs to my hips, felt particularly soft and sexy. The bra, which I put on backwards for ease of operation, then slid around to insert my arms into the straps and settle my breasts into the cups, felt comforting and very nice against my still over sensitive nipples.
I looked over into the mirror again and I got one of those full body shivers. You know the ones? Where, for no apparent reason, your whole body just clenches up and shivers all over for a second or two?
I turned from the mirror and got into those jeans. Damn! They were tight! It took a lot of tugging and jumping up and down(which did interesting things to my breasts, by the way), before I could get them pulled all the way up to my waist. Then I practically had to let all my breath out and really pull to get the button closed and the zipper up. I thought for a second that Eric must have gotten the size wrong because they felt like a second(or third?) skin once I had them all done up, but when I turned to the mirror I knew they were the right size.
They hugged my curves in a way that left no doubt that I was female. I remembered watching other women, wearing jeans like those. Watching and admiring the way they defined their bodies. Now I would be the one being watched, admired, desired, lusted after. Dismissing those thoughts from my mind, I pulled the top over my head and settled it over my breasts and down to the top of the jeans. One more look into the mirror showed me that I looked good. I looked freaking amazing!
Well, from there, I sat down at my vanity and began brushing out my hair. I didn't really think about doing that, it just seemed to be the thing to do. The long, slow strokes through my silky hair seemed to calm me and I kept it up for quite a little while. When it looked right to me, I stopped and surveyed my face. I remember thinking, ‘Well, I'm not going anywhere until later, so a little blush and a touch of pale lipstick should do just fine.'
When I finished with that, I gave my hair one more quick touch up and put some cute little earrings into the holes in my ears. A couple of rings, a bracelet, and a necklace that seemed to match the earrings and I was ready to face the world again, or at least ready to face the house and Eric.
While I'd been dressing, I'd heard noises outside my room and I assumed that Eric was up and performing his morning ritual. I heard the shower running as I passed the bathroom, headed for the kitchen. I decided I might as well start on some breakfast and I located some eggs, some bacon, some butter and the bread. I thought I'd whip up some french toast, so I got the milk out of the fridge and added some to the several eggs I'd already cracked into a bowl. I started the bacon cooking and greased another pan for the toast. I noticed that the coffee pot was already filling so I didn't have to bother with that. I heard the bathroom door open and I knew that Eric would be out in a few minutes, so I started the toast cooking.
By the time things were nearing completion, Eric came walking down the hall to the kitchen and, smelling the food, he said,
"Hey! Breakfast! Great going, Holly. This will be a treat for me. I haven't had anyone cook for me in a long time. Thanks very much." And he leaned over and kissed me on my cheek!
Well, I almost dropped the spatula as I stepped back in shock!
"What in the world do you think you're doing Eric?" I almost yelled at him.
""What do you mean, Holly? All I did is give you a friendly little smooch on the cheek to thank you for cooking breakfast for us. What's wrong with that?
"What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? I'll tell you what's wrong with it! It's, it's, well it's...." I kind of trailed off and my thoughts seemed scattered. "Well, it's just not right, Eric, that's all. I'm not ready for kissing or other stuff yet. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just that, well, this morning, in the shower, I sort of, well what I did was, umm, oh, you know what I did, don't you?" I was getting frustrated by my inability to express exactly what was wrong with Eric kissing me, and my embarrassment at having to try to explain what I'd done in the shower.
Eric backed off a step or two and looked at me, intently. You mean that you...in the shower this morning...you umm.....oh hell! You masturbated?"
I felt my face get very hot and I knew that I was blushing like a schoolgirl. I busied myself with the food, trying to get myself back under some kind of control.
"Well, yes, Eric!" I finally retorted. ‘That's exactly what I did! I'm not proud of it. I didn't intend to do it, but that's just what happened. I'm very ashamed of doing that in there, but it seemed that once I got started, I couldn't stop! It felt so good, and so different, and so good....ohhh, I'm so confused!"
I had finished up with the food by that time and as I turned off the burners on the stove, Eric reached out to me saying,
"Hey. Hey. Don't be ashamed. Don't feel weird or anything about this. It's perfectly natural for you to explore your new body like that! I'm surprised you didn't do this in the first day you became Holly. It's okay, Holly. Everyone does it. It's just that nobody talks about is all. C'mon, let's have breakfast and talk this through, okay?"
He pulled me into a hug and I just stood there, ashamed, my face burning, the spatula long forgotten in my hand. After a few seconds, I just dropped the spatula and put my arms around him, hugging him back. I buried my face in his shirt and began to cry, softly. Eric made comforting noises and tried to get me to stop, hugging me even harder.
"Holly," he whispered in my ear. "Come on, it's okay, it's okay. I expected this. I was hoping for it! It's the best way to find out about your new body and what it's capable of, and it is fun, isn't it? I mean, you did orgasm, right? Jeeze, I hope you did! Oh man, Holly, is that what this is all about? You didn't orgasm? Hey, that sometimes happens the first time, Holly. It's nothing to be concerned about. I can promise you that that body can orgasm and has orgasmed. It'll come, no pun intended, just give it some time."
I stopped him right there. Gulping back my tears I corrected him saying,
"No Eric, That's not it at all! I did orgasm! It happened several times. It felt so incredibly good, but it shouldn't, should it? I mean, I'm still a guy under here, aren't I? I shouldn't be feeling like that, like a well fucked woman, should I?"
Eric took hold of my chin, gently in his fingers and turned my face up so I was looking in his eyes.
"Holly, Holly. That's exactly how you should feel! That's what that suit does! That's what all the programming on those tapes is all about! You're supposed to feel like a ‘well fucked woman' to use your own words! It's all a part of the adjustment process that'll conclude Sunday evening when you finally "merge" with the suit and "become" Holly. You have to go through this so you'll seem completely natural as a woman. Three years is way too long to simply pretend to be a woman. You have to be a woman, in your mind and in your emotions, otherwise you'll look odd, out of place, unnatural. Look, let's eat. The food is getting cold, and you need some nourishment to get through today. You've got to go through the tapes again and then we're going out later. Now sit your cute butt down in that chair and I'll serve, okay?"
He let me go then, and backed off to get the plates and food. I went over and sat down where he had indicated I should, grabbing a napkin or two to dry my tears and blow my nose. Strangely, I felt better about things after that crying session. I felt cleansed and at ease again, the way I'd felt getting dressed that morning.
We sat down at the table, and Eric dished up the food I'd prepared. The bacon got a little bit crisp, and the french toast was, well, dark, but it didn't taste too bad, and it was filling. Eric did a bit more talking, though, telling me one or two more things that he knew about what was happening to me.
"Holly." He began, after getting settled at the table. "I do know part of the reason you are so flighty and emotional. I knew it yesterday. As a matter of fact, I knew it was going to happen, but there was no way to tell you about it. No way to prepare you for it. You already know about the programming on the tapes. You even know about the built in things that the suit possesses, but what you don't know, is this. In order to ensure a feminine self image, there are certain hormones that the suit releases, once it's sealed up. They are released in measured doses, and they serve to build and keep a female mindset, once it's achieved, which will happen sometime Sunday afternoon after you've viewed the tapes that day."
"These hormones do not have any lasting or permanent effect on a person, and once you are out of the suit for a couple of days, pretty much everything returns to the point is was at when you originally put the suit on. These hormones cause your emotions to become female and they keep them there until you remove the suit. They also inhibit the growth of any hair inside the suit, so you won't be bothered by that, and you already know that no hair grows on the outside of the suit except the hair on your head, your eyebrows and lashes, and in your genital area, and then it only grows to a certain length and stops."
He took a few bites of his food and then continued.
"I couldn't and didn't tell you about these hormones because, up until yesterday, you would have blown a gasket and flipped out on me and I can't afford to have you do that. As it is, you almost did that anyway, yesterday. The attitudes and beliefs you held, until yesterday would have caused you to dump this whole deal and I couldn't have that happening. Not only for myself, but for you, Holly. I know what you're going through because I've been through it myself and I've babysat others who have gone through it as well. Now, having said all that, let me say this. Before you view the tapes today, I'm going to give you one last chance to back out of this deal. I still have enough time, barely, to get back in the suit and get re-acclimated to it before Holly has to be back at work, Monday. There are no more surprises. There's nothing I haven't told you that I know about." "
"Look. I want to get my real life going again. There are a lot of things I am looking forward to that I haven't been able to do for the last three years, but if it would mean you being stuck inside that suit against your will, I'd rather just forget this whole thing and climb back in, myself. That's all I have to say about it. All the rest is up to you, but this is your last chance to give this up."
Eric stopped speaking and just looked at me, across the table. I sat there, thinking. Well, there was no way I was going to back out on this deal now. I'd given my word, and I was going to hold to it, no matter what. The additional information that Eric had just passed along to me was helpful and did explain why I had been so emotional the last couple of days, and for that, I was grateful. It removed what I considered the last stumbling block from my path and strengthened my resolve. I didn't say anything until I finished my breakfast. Then I stood up, put my dishes in the sink, turned around and hugged Eric around his neck, kissing him on his cheek, like he had done to me. I said,
"A lot has happened in the last couple of days. You've been a real friend, mentor, coach and rock for me to hang onto. I want to do this, and I am not going to back out. If all this is what it takes to do this thing, then I'll just have to learn to deal with it. After all, it's only for three years, and I'll only age about half that, right? Plus I'll come out of it with a lot of money and experiences that damned few guys ever get a chance to learn. I already know a lot of stuff that I not only didn't know, but I didn't even know that I didn't know it! It's a done deal, Eric. Go and formalize your plans. I'm staying. Subject closed. Now, you take care of your own dishes and mine. I'm going to go potty and then sit down and watch those infernal tapes!"
Well, the rest of the week just flew by. Once I'd decided to really do this, I just threw myself into the learning processes and it seemed to make things flow a lot more smoothly. Eric and I did go out a few times, but he never used the "extreme Holly" part of the training again, nor did he have to. It seemed like the more I wanted to do this, the easier it got.
Sunday arrived much sooner than I wanted it to, though. Of all the feelings I was experiencing, some of them for the first time, the one that took precedence Sunday evening was sorrow. This would be the last night with Eric. He would be leaving to get on with his life, in the morning and I couldn't help feeling like I was losing my best friend. I was sad, I was angry, I was anxious about the future, I was a mess, emotionally.
I moped around the house all day, after viewing the tapes for the last time. On the verge of tears all day long, I wasn't very good company and I know that Eric could sense how I felt. He was very gentle with me all day long and, by early that evening, we were hardly speaking. Him, I think because he didn't know what to say to me, and me because I didn't trust myself to say much for fear of breaking down and crying.
How odd it seemed to me, to be feeling this way about another man. Logically I knew that it was due to the programming on the tapes and the built in behaviors designed into the bodysuit I wore, but all that aside, I still felt like I was being abandoned by Eric.
Through the wildest and strangest week of my life, Eric had been a rock for me to cling to, a brick wall for me to bounce my feelings off of and a fountain of useful information for me to learn from. Now he was going to be gone! I'd wake up all alone in my house for the first time, knowing that, for the next three years, I wouldn't see him or even talk to him again.
I was an emotional wreck and I didn't know how to get myself out of the blue funk I was in.
Oh, there were thoughts about what I'd like to do. Some of them were thoughts I never dreamed of having. Thoughts like taking Eric back to my bedroom and showing him how much I appreciated all he'd done for me. Thoughts of showing him how much I'd miss him.
Thoughts I would never have had as Jimmy, that's for sure! Yet, every time those thoughts would make themselves known to me, they were overridden by the thought that it wouldn't be right. It would be "gay" or something like that. Stupid thoughts, I know, but there they were. I hadn't crossed the threshold between Jimmy and Holly yet and the battle between the two people was wearing me out.
I wanted Eric! I needed him, but I couldn't bring myself to take that final step of actually having him. So I was miserable all day long, and I guess I took some of that out on him because, like I said, we didn't say much to one another all day long. It was like we were avoiding one another. After lunch I went to my bedroom and laid down on the bed, just thinking or maybe trying not to think.
Finally, around 6 P.M. Eric came to my bedroom door which was closed because I was hiding in there, sort of. I heard him knock gently on the door, but I didn't answer right away. Trying to ignore him wasn't working though, because he just kept knocking. I gave in after a few minutes though, and said,
"What do you want, Eric?"
I know it must have sounded to him like I was angry, but I couldn't make my voice sound any other way for fear of starting to cry. I was trying to keep an iron grip on emotions I had never had before and it wasn't easy.
"Holly?" his voice came through the door. "Are you going to stay in there the rest of the day? I was thinking that, since this will be our last day together, we could maybe go for a drive, or go dancing or for dinner or something?"
Oh Christ! He had to go and say something like that! Well, that opened the floodgates and I began to cry softly. I didn't want him to know that I was crying so I muffled my sobs with a pillow, but I didn't answer him. I couldn't. I heard him say something else, but I couldn't make out what he said through my sobs. My heart was aching and it all just spilled out of me in the form of tears and sobs.
I heard the door open, and then I felt a soft touch on my back. Shit! I hadn't locked the damn door! Oh God! Now he was going to know that I was crying!
Damn! Damn!! Damn!!!
He started to rub my back. Nothing sexual or sensual, just slow, comforting, easy touching and rubbing, and that just made me cry harder. Finally I couldn't stand it any longer and I turned over and just grabbed at him, pulling him into a hug I never wanted to let go of.
"What's wrong, Holly?" He asked in a concerned tone of voice. “What's got you so worked up? Is it something I've done or said?"
"N..n...noooo!" I wailed. Y.y..you're gonna go away in the m.m..morning and I'm n.n..neverrr gonna see you again!" And then all hell did bust loose. I cried like I've never cried in my whole life! Great big, huge gulping sobs escaped from deep inside me and I soaked his shoulder with my tears. "W..w...whaaat am I gonna do without you? I d..d..don't know enough about being Holly yet! I...I...I can't do this without you, Eric! Please, don't leave me!!!" And from there, all I could do was sob into his strong shoulder, holding him as close as I could.
He didn't say anything for quite awhile. He just held me tight and stroked my head and shoulders lightly, reassuringly, while rocking back and forth with me. I felt so embarrassed to be seen this way by him, but at the same time, I felt safe somehow, held close in his arms while I cried. I don't know how long we stayed that way. Later Eric told me that he held me for almost an hour before I finally cried myself out.
Then, he told me later, he'd laid me down and covered me with a blanket and had left me alone for awhile, feeling that I needed to close my eyes and recover with a little nap.
I laid there, not sleeping, just dozing a bit, exhausted it seemed, by the rush of emotions I'd just experienced. I didn't really even think, for close to an hour. Then there was a hesitant knock on my door.
"Holly?" Came Eric's soft voice. "Are you okay? Are you awake? I think we need to talk, don't you?"
"Yes, Eric. I'm awake." I answered in a somewhat hoarse voice, scratchy from all the crying and wailing I'd done. "Please come in."
He entered carrying a small tray on which there was a glass of cold Pepsi and a rose, in a glass of water.
I looked at him, and at the tray, and at the rose, and I lost it again. The only thought I can remember having was, ‘That's so sweet!"
This time my crying didn't last very long, although it still felt good to have him hold and comfort me. For a little while, neither of us said anything. We just stayed there on the bed, holding one another very tightly. Finally we pulled back from one another and, looking at his face that close to me, something happened. I still don't know for sure what it was, but I tightened my arms around the back of his neck and pulled his face to me, pressing my lips to his.
For a second or two he didn't respond. He just let me have control. Then he began to return the kiss, tightening his arms around my body. Then....well, then, things got a little confused for me. I knew I was kissing a man and there was a little voice in my head telling me that I shouldn't be doing that, but that voice kept getting more and more faint until I couldn't hear it any more. My hands began to wander on his body and he returned my caresses, slowly at first and then with increasing urgency. Before too long, we were shedding clothing, not caring if it was ruined in the process of getting rid of it. That didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was that I needed to be closer to him and our clothes were in the way of that happening.
I could feel his touches on my breasts and he played with my nipples which just fanned the flames of passion and I lost myself in these new and exciting feelings. He stroked and played me like a violin and I returned his caressing touches with ones of my own on him. For the first time in my life, I touched another man's penis. I was amazed by the soft, velvety feel of it, but at the same time, frightened by it's firmness. It felt like a steel rod in a velvet glove, and it was very warm!
His hands wandered below my waist and began touching me...well, there. My, my...vagina. A silly thought ran through my mind right then. Something like, ‘my, my, my, myyy vagina'(to the tune of My Sharona), but that thought quickly vanished as I became lost in the feelings he was giving me there. I was actually shivering from his touches and caresses! My God! I had never felt like this before. Vulnerable, yet in control, while at the same time, out of control!
It ceased to matter that Eric was a man. It ceased to matter whether I was a man or a woman. The only thing that mattered was that I needed him! I began to feel an emptiness in my genital area and a wetness there told me that I was more than ready for him. I was so turned on that I couldn't believe it! Was this how women feel when approaching sex with a man? Wow! It felt goooooood! I remember thinking that if sex as a woman was any better than what we had been doing so far, I'd never want to go back to being plain old Jimmy! What I did know, beyond a doubt was that I was going to have Eric, right there, right then, no matter what it meant!
Well, honey, let me tell you. Eric played me, like I said, like a violin. He brought me up the scales and back down, and then back up again until I thought I was going to go crazy! I could feel the same tension I'd felt in the shower, only this time it seemed different, more intense, deeper somehow. Eric teased me, caressed me, touched me, kissed me until I thought I was going to have to explode and then....and then...!
Slowly, carefully, with intricate care, he began to enter me. I could feel the head of his penis at the entrance of my vagina and he paused there for a few seconds, looking me directly in the eyes.
"Are you sure about this Holly?" He said. Be sure, because there's no going back from here and no stopping once I start. I can and will stop here and back off if you really don't want me to do this, but you have to tell me, one way or the other. Do you want this, Holly? Are you ready for this? Because this is the final step in becoming Holly."
"After this, you will be her in thought and mind. You'll always know who you really are, but you won't be able to act any other way other than the way Holly, a real woman, would until your time is up. Be sure, Holly. This is the most important thing you will ever do and you have to be sure.
I made a kind of growling noise in the back of my throat, a noise I didn't even know I could make, and I answered him, saying.
"If you don't stick that thing in me right now, I'm gonna rip the damned thing off and insert it myself! Yes! I want this, Eric you son of a bitch! You know I want this! You know I need this, now Do it! Oh God, Eric! Do it!"
Well, honey, he did it. He slowly inserted himself into a place I'd never had before. When he was all the way in, and that seemed to take forever(!), he paused, our crotches touching one another. It felt.....well, it felt amazing, is all I can say. My mind was saying, ‘A man is inside you! His penis is inside your vagina!', but my body was saying, ‘Who cares! This is incredible!! Unbelievable!
Ab-so-freaking-lutely astounding! More! Give me More!'
And he did. He gave me more. He began to move in and out, slowly at first and picking up speed and force as he went. Before too long, we were moving back and forth as one, with me meeting his downward thrusts with upward thrusts of my own. Deeper and deeper he penetrated until I thought I could feel that damned thing in my stomach, and still deeper he went! I could feel that cliff approaching, that almost weightless feeling I'd experienced in the shower, only this time, it seemed like I was coming to the brink of a bottomless pit.
Our lovemaking, and yes, that's what it was, lovemaking, got more and more urgent and I could feel him beginning to tense inside me. Somehow I knew that this meant that he was nearing his own release and that spurred me towards that abyss. As he released, I hovered for a second on the brink of the long drop, then I exploded over the edge!
Colors, sounds, meaningless things that suddenly made sense, all these and more went through my mind. I tried to pull him deeper inside me, as if trying to engulf him entirely! Our bodies spasmed and bucked and I know that, if we'd had any neighbors, they'd have been calling the police to report a murder, because I could hear myself screaming at the top of my lungs. "Yes!!! Yes!!! YES!!! Oh GOD, YEEEESSSSS!!"
Afterwards, laying there cuddled close to Eric, his arm supporting my head, him still inside me, slowly deflating, I sighed. A deep, cleansing sigh of satisfaction and relief. He was playing with my hair and it felt good, soothing, relaxing to me. I knew I'd crossed some kind of border, a line that I would not be able to go back across for a long time, if ever. I turned towards him and kissed him, a long slow, grateful kind of kiss. Oh, I still knew that I was Jimmy in a girl suit, but, at the same time, I was also now Holly, the beautiful, sexy, popular waitress.
A woman for real, for the next three years or more, depending. I had no regrets, no lingering doubts, that this was what I wanted. I wasn't just resigned to this anymore, I was committed to it, and that was the difference.
Eric just looked deep into my eyes as if reading my thoughts in them. He smiled a tender smile at me and returned my kiss. We settled into each others' arms and didn't speak at all. Our bodies said it all. In all, we made love four times that evening. Each time was better than it's predecessor and each time I became more certain that the next three years were going to be the most rewarding, exciting years of my life.
I also knew that I'd have to say goodbye to Eric in the morning, but somehow that didn't seem so bad as it had seemed earlier. It seemed like our act of love had cleared my mind and I could understand things much better than I had before. Oh, I'd miss him, there was no doubt about that, but I knew now, that I could really do this. I could really be Holly. What's more, I could enjoy being Holly. Eric had shown me that being a woman was a good thing, not the bad thing I'd still been thinking, despite what he and Nancy had told me.
Yes, it was going to be a whole new way of life for me, but I could take comfort in the fact that I not only wasn't the first one that this had happened to, but I also wouldn't be the last one. There would be others to follow me, or some of the other girls at HEADLIGHTS, and my role would be to be the best damned Holly I could be and then to train someone, the way Eric had trained me, if that's what my decision would be at that time. To show them that becoming a woman wasn't a thing to be dreaded or feared, but something to be treasured and sought after, and enjoyed for what it was and what it could be.
Was I in love with Eric? No, I don't think I was. I mean, yes I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him if that makes any sense. I loved him for what he'd given me, the new way of life that I was going to be able to experience, the new ways I'd be looking at life and the new things I'd be learning every day, but I wasn't in love with him in the sense of wanting to settle down and raise a family with him. That wasn't possible.........well, not yet it wasn't.
I knew that the possibility did exist that I would want to become a real woman and I also knew that it was entirely possible to do that. At the end of my three years I could opt for that, but I didn't have to worry about that right now, and I wouldn't have to worry about it for at least three years. Would I go there? I didn't know. What I did know was that I owed Eric more than I would ever be able to repay and I loved him for that too.
We drifted off to sleep early that evening, still holding each other, him still slightly inside me. Did I dream? I don't really remember. I only remember feeling safe and secure, held in Eric's arms, our bodies touching, our breath in each others' face. I felt.......well, like a woman, I guess. That's the only way I can describe it. Protected, loved, cherished and appreciated for what I was, what I am, a woman.
When I awoke, Monday morning, I was alone in bed. For just a moment I wondered where Eric had gone and then it hit me. He was leaving this morning! Had I missed him leaving?
Frantically I jumped out of bed, not really awake all the way. I threw on a robe and ran out of the bedroom. I checked his bedroom on the way to the kitchen, as well as the bathroom, but he wasn't in either of them. In fact, his bed was stripped and the blankets, sheets and spread were folded and in a laundry basket!
I ran into the kitchen and still didn't see Eric and my heart plummeted down to my toes. Whipping my head back and forth, looking all over the rest of the house, my hair flying in front of my face, I still didn't see Eric anywhere! Damn, Damn, DAMN!
Then, I spotted something by the front door. It was a suitcase! I ran over to it and lifted it off the floor. It was full! He hadn't left yet. I put it back on the floor and ran back to my bedroom. I grabbed some clothes and quickly got dressed, not wanting to miss the chance to say good-bye to him. I don't remember if what I grabbed to wear, matched or not. I wasn't concerned about that. I didn't even bother to run a brush through my hair. As soon as I was dressed, I ran back to the kitchen, catching Eric as he was coming back in to grab that last suitcase.
I ran to him and threw my arms around him, hugging him to me as tightly as I could, and I buried my face in his shoulder. Then I turned my face up to his and, putting my arms around his neck, I pulled him down to my face and I kissed him for all I was worth, tears already streaking their way down my cheeks.
"Oh my God, Eric!" I cried. "I thought I'd missed you! I'm so glad I didn't, though because I would have been inconsolable all day if I had! Why were you sneaking off, you stinker?" And I slapped him on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Holly." He replied. "I didn't want there to be a scene, and I knew there would be one. I know how you're feeling right now. I went through it too, on my first day as Holly, all by myself. Frank had left without so much as a word of goodbye to me, four days into my training and, when I woke up on that first day, I was so lonely and lost. He didn't do a very good job of training me, and it took me a couple of weeks longer than it should have to really get into being Holly. I di..mummmph!"
I didn't let him finish whatever it was that he was going to say, I just mashed his lips with mine again, and I didn't let him go, even though I could tell he really wanted to. I guess I thought that, as long as I held onto him, he wouldn't be able to get out the door, and he wouldn't leave me. I knew that it was a silly thing to think, but I wasn't really thinking at that point. I was going strictly on emotions, and they were telling me not to let go.
Finally though, I had to. Yes, I was crying, and yes, Eric tried to comfort me, but we both knew that this had to happen. Eric had to get on with his life, and I needed to get on with my new life. When Eric finally disengaged himself from my arms, he stood there for a second or two, looking me right in my eyes. His hand came up and gently wiped away some of the tears from my face, and he smiled a sad kind of smile.
"Don't cry, Holly." He said, gently. "You knew this day was coming, just like I did. I know it isn't easy for you. It isn't easy for me either, Holly, but it has to be. I have things I have to do and so do you, and we can't do them if I stay here, so as much as I'd love to stay here with you, I can't." He pulled me close into a tender hug, and I could feel him take a deep, ragged breath.
"I'll never forget you, Holly. " He murmured in my ear. "I'll never forget and I'll always be there for you if you ever need me. I left my cell phone number on the fridge, along with a beeper number. If you ever, and I mean ever need me, you call me, and I'll do everything in my power to get to you, I promise. Now, you gotta let me go. I have a cab waiting, and it's gonna cost me a fortune in overtime fees if I don't get out of here." And he chuckled a bit as he said that.
He gently pushed away from me. My arms didn't want to let him go, but he was insistent and I finally let go of him. I stood there, trembling, crying, trying to be brave and failing miserably at the job. I couldn't look him in his eyes. My lips were trembling and I was on the verge of a complete crying fit, I could feel it. He picked up the suitcase and started toward the door, but stopped as he was going through it, turning to me and saying,
"You're going to do great as Holly. In my time at the club, I've talked to all the girls there and none of them had as much trouble as you did, getting used to the idea of becoming a sexy woman, but at the same time, none of them had so much emotional garbage to unlearn. You came a hell of a long way in a very short time, and you've made me proud to know you. If, at the end of your three years, you decide to go back to being Jimmy, you give me a call, and I'll do everything I can to help you find new work if you want it, a place to stay, whatever you need or want. I consider you a friend, Holly and I don't forget or turn my back on friends."
He started out the door then, but stopped one more time and looked at me intently.
"Make me proud of you, Holly. Be the best damned Holly that club has ever seen. You can do it. I have faith in you. Now I gotta go. Be a good girl, and don't forget me, okay? I..I.. I love you, Holly." And with that he went out the door, closing it behind him.
I just stood there, tears rolling down my cheeks, heartbroken. Oh, I knew he had to leave. I knew he had his life to restart and I didn't want to be in the way of that, but at the same time, I didn't want to be all alone either. I missed him already, and I just sank to my knees and them to my butt, crying my eyes out. I really can't say how long I sat there sobbing, but after awhile, I got up, went to the counter in the kitchen and grabbed a handful of tissues from a box there and tried to clean the tears from my face.
Going from the kitchen to the living room, I sat down on the couch and pulled the afghan off the back of it, wrapping that around me and sinking back into the cushions. I didn't turn on the TV or a radio. I just sat there, feeling lost and abandoned, and crying a little bit more. I guess I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, I could hear someone ringing the doorbell!
I really didn't want to talk to anyone, but then I thought, ‘It might be Eric, coming back to tell me he changed his mind and is going to stay!! I jumped up from the couch, the afghan falling to the floor, forgotten, and raced to the door. I yanked it open, but instead of Eric standing there, it was Nancy!
"Hi honey." She said. Can I come in? I know that Eric left this morning and you're probably feeling real sad, and I understand that. He's a rare male, that's for certain. However, my girl, you have things to do today, and I am here to help you through them, and to keep you company as well. You can't sit around here all day, all alone, feeling sorry for yourself anyway.
You have to go to work at the club tonight, and you're going to want to look your best for that, so I decided to come over, take you out to lunch and for a little shopping and then to the salon so you'll look as pretty as a picture when you get to the club tonight."
She stepped into the room and immediately took me into her arms, and I started to cry again.
"I know. I know, Holly. You're probably feeling all abandoned and that's only right. For a whole week, you and Eric have been sharing something very special. He's a special man, and he believes in you. Now don't let him down. You march yourself right into that bathroom and get into that tub and get cleaned up. Then we are going out for a girls day out! No arguments, young lady! Now move!” She said with a little giggle.
She pushed me away from her and swatted my butt to get me moving and, at first, I wanted to punch her right in the face, but that little giggle got to me somehow.
I sort of half smiled at her and said,
"Yes ma'am! Right away ma'am!" And I mock saluted her.
Actually, I didn't really want to go out anywhere, but I could tell from the sound of Nancy's voice, that she wasn't going to take no for an answer, so I went on into the bathroom and started filling the tub. Quickly undressing, I went back into my bedroom and chose some casual clothes to change into and went back to the bathroom. I grabbed a towel and shut off the water. Testing the temperature of the water in the tub, I found it to be just a bit high so I ran some cold water in and, after checking again, and adding some scented bath beads to the water, I climbed into the tub.
I took my time in there, soaking away my hurt and all the traces of my tears. Softly washing every part of this woman's body, it never failed to amaze me how it was so soft and smooth, and sensitive. The slightest touch, one I probably wouldn't have even felt as Jimmy, seemed to be almost too harsh and rough on my new skin, and even the gentlest touch on my private parts was enough to set off a few shivers. The sweetly scented water seemed to help a lot and I was feeling much better as the water cooled.
Finishing up, I patted myself dry and got out of the tub. Wrapping the towel around me, sarong style, I tended to my hair which I hadn't bothered to wash seeing as how Nancy was going to wash and set it at the salon anyway. I brushed it and it seemed to just fall almost automatically into gentle waves that cascaded down my back, almost to the small of my back.
I quickly cleaned up after myself and went into the bedroom and got dressed. Nothing elaborate. Just a comfortable pair of slacks and a blouse, over a plain white bra and cotton panties. A pair of socks and some low heeled flats completed my outfit for the day out and I sat down at the vanity to apply a light coat of makeup.
I never needed very much makeup as Holly. It seemed that the bodysuit was perfect as it was, so just a bit of powder and a dab of light pink lipstick were all I really needed. Oh I knew that I would need quite a bit more than that at work, but for daytime shopping and lunch, it was more than enough. Finishing that up, I got up and, after putting the top of the vanity back in order, I went back out to the main living area where Nancy was sitting on the couch, waiting for me.
I presented myself for her approval, doing a little 360 degree turn to show myself off a little bit, saying,
"Ta Daaahh! Well, How do I look? Do I pass inspection sir?"
Nancy got up and gave a close look-over.
"Well, not bad, Holly. I think you've got this girl thing down pat. I can probably still show you a few tricks at the salon later, but this'll do nicely for shopping and lunch. Now grab your jacket and purse and lets get shopping, girl!"
It was about 10:00 in the morning when we started out of the house. I locked the door behind me and we climbed into my hot little Mustang. I looked over at Nancy and said,
‘Buckle up, lady. We're ready to launch!"
I started the car and peeled out of the driveway like Ralf Schumacher(formula one driver)headed for the first turn at Le Mans. The acceleration pushed us back in the seats and we were at the speed limit in nothing flat. Nancy said,
"My goodness, girl! Take it easy! I want to get where we're going in one piece! You don't have to be at the club until 6 and we have lots of time, so slow down!"
I kind of giggled a bit. That little ‘Stang never ceased to amaze me. It's performance was incredible!
I did slow down a bit, though. Somehow though, every time I drove that little car, it cheered me up.
Well, Nancy gave me directions and, before very long at all, we were arriving at a huge mall. I knew this place from my Jimmy days as a great place for girl watching and it had a great arcade, but somehow, I didn't think I was going to be doing any girl watching and I knew I wouldn't be able to play any games in the arcade, since Nancy obviously had plans for me and they didn't include any video games, I was certain.
I was right too.. Nancy's plans included a lot of clothing, jewelry and undergarment stores and well as shoe stores, but no arcade. Damn! I must have tried on at least two dozen different outfits of outer clothing, and double that much underwear, and probably 10 different pairs of shoes! By the time we hit the jewelry stores, I was already getting a bit fatigued!
I ended up with three new pairs of earrings, a couple of bracelets and necklaces, and some rings. The salesgirl at one of the stores tried to talk me into getting my belly button pierced, but I turned that down. I was still getting used to having holes in my EARS, let alone putting holes in my body!
We ended up with several bags full of clothes and shoes, as well as the jewelry and some makeup that Nancy said I "just had to have," so we went out to the car and put the bags in the trunk and then went back inside to get some lunch. While we ate, it was kind of fun to watch people going past our table out in the mall, especially the guys. They'd walk by where we were sitting and, a few seconds later, some of them would walk by again, going in the opposite direction. I figured they were probably looking for someone, but Nancy, seeing what was happening said,
"Hon, they are checking you out! They see a very pretty girl having lunch with, if I say so myself, slightly older, but still very attractive, woman and they are taking every chance to look at you, and me, I hope!" And she giggled a bit at that.
Well! That was an aspect of being a beautiful woman I had forgotten about! Certainly I had always done that sort of thing as Jimmy, but somehow I'd never thought about being on the "other side" as it were!
At first I was embarrassed by it, but gradually, with Nancy's seeming acceptance of being the ‘checkee', I started to feel proud that I looked good enough to cause men to take second and even third looks at me.
I even began to flirt a little bit, by catching the glances of some of the guys and smiling a little bit, back at them! Something like that would have never occurred to me when I was a guy, but doing it as Holly, seemed all right, in fact it was fun!
We finished our lunch and, after a quick trip to the ladies room to fix out faces and take care of ‘other' things, we wandered a bit more around the mall, but Nancy said we should get to her salon so she'd have plenty of time to ‘fix me up' for work that night, so we left and got back into my little Ford ‘rocket' and headed for her salon.
Following Nancy's instructions, we got there without any incidents and didn't get lost at all. We walked in and Nancy was greeted by a chorus of ‘hellos' and, ‘Hi Hons', and even a, ‘oops! The Boss is here!
Better look busy girls!' Nancy just smiled and shook a finger at all the workers and customers there, as if in a good natured warning gesture. She escorted me to a chair and told me to just relax for a bit while one or more of the workers finished up with what they were doing, and then they would start on my ‘makeover'.
Now, I could go into a lot of detail about what they did and how long it took, and what they used on me, but unless you're a girl, it really isn't of much interest to you, right? So I won't. Having my hair washed and set, having people work on my skin and nails and face and generally spending the afternoon being pampered was, well, it was therapeutic is what it was. By the time they were finished with me, I hardly recognized myself in the mirrors. I was a real knockout!
Look. Holly without makeup and in casual clothes was a beautiful woman. Holly all decked out in new clothes and completely made up was a traffic stopper! I had never imagined, in my wildest dreams that I would be looking into a mirror and seeing a gorgeous babe like Holly staring back at me in wide eyed surprise, but there I was. Without trying to sound smug, or immodest about it, I was the babe to end all babes! The funny thing was? I liked it!
I made faces at myself in the mirror, trying to imitate the sexy facial expressions I had always seem girls like I now was, make in magazines and on TV, and I started turning myself on! It felt a lot different than getting turned on as a guy, felt, but it was just as intense, maybe even more intense! Nancy and the girls there let me carry on for a bit, but then she stopped me by saying.
"Yes, Holly. You are beautiful. That's one of the reasons that people keep coming back to HEADLIGHTS to eat and for entertainment. The girls there are uniformly, incredibly beautiful and sexy. Part of the training you've gotten from the tapes and from the suit itself will help you in presenting yourself as a sexual female to the men, who for the most part, are regulars there. That same training has imprinted, in your mind, who Holly's ‘regulars' are and how to treat each one of them. Now, your work uniforms are at the club. You can change there, or wear one home and change there as long as you bring it back the next night. Each girl has three uniforms, so you can have one in the cleaners almost all the time."
I just sat there, taking all that in. It also dawned on me that I remembered every step of what was done to me at the salon as well! What's more, I remembered how to do it for myself! All I had to do was think about it and the exact steps of doing my makeup like they had done it, were right there in my mind, including the techniques of applying it! Amazing stuff, that programming. I just sat there shaking my head at the amount of thought and effort it had to have taken to build the bodysuits.
Nancy aroused me from my little reverie, saying,
"Well, Holly my girl, how do you feel now? A bit better than you did this morning?" She moved close to me and took me in her arms.
"Yes, Holly, you will miss Eric, but you're going to find that, in the next three years, you're going to be having so much fun and making so much money, that Eric is going to fade in your memory. Oh, you'll never forget him, and he'll always be someone very special to you, but you are going to need the memories of him less and less as time goes on. Trust me, my girl. Okay?"
I knew that she was right, and that Eric was always going to be ‘someone special' in my life. He had given me the most fantastic opportunity anyone could give another. The chance to live as, to be, someone else, completely. Someone so different from who I was, that it was like being gifted with a totally new life. I also knew that it was going to be a life that would teach me more, earn me more, than I ever could have as Jimmy. When I left the salon that afternoon to go back home to get changed for work, I was finally in the right frame of mind.
I still knew that I was really Jimmy, wearing an incredibly realistic ‘woman suit' and that the feminine behavior I now treated as natural was really just an ‘overlay' if you will, on my real mind, but I also knew that I would not only fulfill my obligation of three years to the club, but it was very likely that I'd ‘re-up' and do three more, maybe even go the same route that Nancy did and really become Holly for the rest of my life.
However, I had time to think about that. I didn't know where this trip was going to take me, but I did know that it was going to be one hell of a ride, and I was going to do everything I could to enjoy every step along the way. Nothing had been forced on me.
Nothing had been done to me that I didn't agree to of my own free will, and nothing would be done to me unless I either requested it, or was dumb enough to flout the rules at the club and be punished for it. I believed what Eric and Nancy had told me about, if I had to, I could get out of my contract at any time, and somehow I knew that they hadn't lied to me at all about anything.
Arriving back at my house, I parked the car and gathered all my purchases, taking them with me into the house. I placed them in my bedroom, deciding to unpack them after work. Going to my closet I pulled out my work uniform. Work uniform! Yeah! Right! A white t-shirt with antique car headlights on it and a pair of short, short shorts that barely covered the globes of my ass! Well, I knew what it would be before I agreed to any of this and while I was still just a little bit concerned about appearing in front of people wearing such a skimpy outfit, I was also a little excited about it at the same time!
The next three years were sure gonna be interesting, that was for sure! I parked in the lot at HEADLIGHTS and locked the car. I went up to the back door and knocked and, in a couple of minutes the door opened and there stood Tiny. He looked at me and began to smile. Then, without any warning, he scooped me up in a huge hug, saying,
"I knew you was gonna be back Holly! I told Eric that he chose da right person to take over. I got a second sense about dis kinda stuff and I'm almost never wrong. You are gonna enjoy da next tree years, and I'm here to see dat nobody gives ya no crap, okay? You get any problems at all, here or anywhere else, you just yell for Tiny and I'll be dere faster dan ya can say boo. Now, Get yer cute little butt in here and get ta work, girl! Da customers is waitin on ya!"
He put me down and gave my butt a little, gentle swat to send me on my way. Geeze! What was it about my butt that everyone wanted to swat it? I looked behind me at my butt. Oh yeah. It was kinda cute! I scampered to the dressing room and stowed my purse.
Then I looked up the head waitress to report in for work. She clued me in on who was here, how many and where and I began the most wonderful three years of my life.
Now, honey. I told you that whole story because I did sign up for three more years, so I've done two tours of duty. I've decided to not become a real woman, but I'm going to go to management and put in a request to purchase the suit so I can go back to being Jimmy, but I can also become Holly for short periods of time. I've come to really like the feeling of being a woman, but I need to get back to being Jimmy most of the time.
You've been coming here at least 4 nights a week for the last two years and I've come to really like you. I can sense that you aren't happy in your life. That you feel there's something missing, but you don't even know what it is, let alone how to find it.
I think you need a change in your life so I'm offering you a chance to replace me here at HEADLIGHTS. You seem like a really great guy and I think you'd benefit from spending some time as a great girl. Everything I've told you is true and there isn't anything I haven't told you, so what do you think, hon? I'm gonna leave here with over a quarter of a million dollars in my bank account and that's counting what it's going to cost me to keep the suit.
I want you to come home with me after work tonight and I'll prove it to you the same way that Eric proved it to me. Then you'll have the weekend to make your decision. Meet me in the parking lot after work? You will? Oh that's just super, (insert YOUR name here)________!
I promise you that this is going to be the experience of your lifetime! See you after work, sweetie, okay? You'll recognize my car in the lot and Tiny will let you into it to wait for me. It's the Red Viper with the plates that read, HLYS TY.(Holly's Toy) Yeah, I know. I loved that little Mustang, but it got too tame for me after a couple of years. (Giggle) See ya later then, honey! I gotta get back to work. There's some really big tippers coming in and they love it when I dance for them after I deliver their drinks and food! Byeeeee for now!
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