Providence - Part 11

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Providence
Il mio Tesoro, il mio sorellina
(My treasure, my little sister)
Part One

Lainey stood behind the counter. Diane was just turning the open sign around to face the outside when a tall young man stood at the front door and knocked rather sharply. Diane turned with a start at the noise, considering how impatient the young man must be.

“Just a moment, I’ll get it,” she said as she opened the door. The young man stopped and looked at Diane with an apologetic shrug and half-grin.

“I’m sorry to be so impatient. I won’t be but a moment,” he said politely. Diane looked at him somewhat askance as well as up; he was very tall. His humble tone was surprising enough, but she noticed he looked familiar. She turned and looked back at Lainey, who was standing in front of the counter with a shocked look on her face.

“Eddie…gosh, I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.” The young man walked briskly up to Lainey and gave her a hug. Standing there next to her, Diane finally made the connection. Lainey looked as if she were about to cry, which wouldn’t be altogether uncommon for her; she had an undeserved reputation as a cry-baby with some, a reputation sadly placed upon her by her family. She looked up into his eyes, her own eyes filled with tears of sorrow and joy. Noting her expression, the young man pulled back and burst into tears.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he kept repeating, while Lainey actually only cried just a bit. She patted the young man on the back, who Diane now realized was Lainey’s younger brother.

“It’s okay….Tommy…it’s okay.” Her propensity for crying came really only at appropriate moments; belying her reputation. Lainey had been sensitive and caring all her life, a quality not only lacking in her own family, but a part of her that was sadly rejected by them as well. It seems that she wasn’t the only sensitive member of the family; at least for this moment.

Tommy Esposito was 6’4” and looked as if he could play almost any sport. Even at sixteen he was being courted for early acceptance in a slew of schools for baseball and basketball in the Philly area and out-of-state, but that wasn’t what interested him, and certainly at this moment, not why he came. Tommy was the only member of Lainey’s family that actually kept contact with her. When she decided to live full time as Lainey instead of Edward, every single member of her family rejected her. Her older brother Bobby actually convinced Lainey’s grandmother to turn her out when she moved over after being rejected by her parents and older brother.

Tommy was only twelve at the time, and never understood why they hated her so much. His father actually went through the pitiful motion of disowning Lainey, and forbade any other member from contacting her. Tommy sent her a note now and then, but pressure from his parents influenced his contact, for which he hated himself. He was a nice boy, sensitive as it were, atypical of some athletic types you might think of. And he felt entirely ashamed, not only of his family’s treatment of his sister…yes, he alone accepted that part of Lainey entirely, but he felt the shame because he provided tacit endorsement of their treatment of Lainey by pulling back from his relationship with his sister to preserve peace in the family.

Diane watched the exchange. The last time anyone from Lainey's family had been to see her was months before her marriage to April. The family stayed away from the wedding and Lainey's parent hadn't even seen Deedee, their granddaughter. They were set in their ways, and rejected Lainey's gender, insisting that she could only be accepted if she returned to her male persona, Edward. She recalled how she had "adopted" Lainey after her mother rejected her once and for all time. Diane observed as Lainey rubbed Tommy's back. He was at least a foot taller than his sister, and yet she was the one who consoled him. It was touching, if altogether sad that he had been so influenced by his parents that he had enabled their anger and hate toward April and Lainey to the point of ostracizing the couple and their granddaughter. What Tommy said came as a complete surprised to Lainey and Diane both.

"I....I want to come to live with you. I need to get out of there." He started crying again, this time so much that he could hardly stand, and Lainey walked him over to a chair to sit down.

"I know I don't deserve....I...." He broke down and wept unashamedly, but it wasn't only because of his remorse over his part in the way the family had shunned Lainey and April. Tommy had a secret that was tearing him apart; a secret that he had shared with no one.

"I can't stay like this...it's...oh, Eddie (we'll forgive him, he wasn't calling Lainey by her boy name out of spite, he was just used to four years of not knowing who Lainey really was.) I....I don't want to be this way, but I can't help it. I can't do this anymore; I can't be this anymore." He broke down and wept again, this time so hard that he sobbed almost to the point of physical pain. Lainey had never seen anyone cry like this; even on her worst days after her family rejected her, even on her worst days ever, she never cried like this. She was standing over her brother, who had fallen to the floor at her feet; desperately seeking forgiveness and her permission...

______________________________________________

"Oh my God, is that...?" April said as she walked up to Diane. She had just dropped Deedee off at the Kiernan’s. They had planned on going out to dinner for a change, and Erica and Mark were happy to help. By the looks of things, it didn't seem like they'd be going anywhere that evening. Diane leaned toward April and said,

"Yes, it's Tommy," she said, fully recognizing the irony of the statement. Since Lainey's family avoided them like the plague, April had never even met Tommy. She walked over to where Lainey stood over her brother. Leaning closer, she gave Lainey a hurried kiss and looked down at Tommy, who still wept at his sister's feet. April had changed in the nearly two years since she and Lainey were married; at one time she would have walked out of the store, not wanting to be a part of the emotion. She had put up a wall that friends, new family and God had torn down, and now did something that even surprised her wife. She knelt down and put her hand on Tommy's shoulder and said,

"Honey, it's okay. I think I understand; Lainey and I forgive you!" Nothing profound, but charged with emotion as her words were accompanied by her lifting Tommy to his feet. Even at six feet herself, she had to reach up to Tommy, but she stood on her tip-toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She remembered how horrible it felt when her own parents rejected her. They had since reconciled, but the pain in this boy's face prompted her to recall how she was increasingly put in situations where her own healing acted like a balm to others. Her best friend and former love, Terri and Terri's wife Joey both had been encouraged by April. And now, her brother-in-law..odd, she'd never met him and yet that's what he was, her brother-in-law needed her help. He looked at her with relief and his expression grew only somewhat calmer; he remained upset and crying. I suppose some of his tears were from his feelings of acceptance and forgiveness, but he remained sad because he had something he needed to tell his sister and her wife, and perhaps even the nice lady who stood next to the girls, rubbing their shoulders.

________________________________________

"I remember another young one coming here months ago, feeling rejected and alone and scared." She squeezed the nape of Lainey's neck before kissing her and whispering,

"You do remember, don't you sweet heart?"

Lainey thought for a moment. Again, some folks thought she was entirely too emotional, and some of her old friends and even her family felt she was not bright. Her slowness came at one time from her fear of rejection and her family's rejection. She hesitated to say anything fearing that she would be laughed at; teased, from her own family. But she was a very intelligent girl who had only blossomed when she stepped away from the neglect and hurt of her family. She looked over at Diane, who nodded in agreement.

Diane had seen the same look on Tommy's face as that of several of the people in her life; she spoke of her own first love, Ronni (In reality David, her late husband and Erica's father.) She recalled the wonder and delight when her daughter introduced her to Maired, her son-in-law's alter ego. She smiled and nodded again when she spoke of the first time she met Lainey. Lainey nodded and smiled back in recognition, which April noticed and acknowledged as well. And Diane remembered the first time she saw her own wife Michelle when she came into the store, as if by accident, but more by providence, of course.

Lainey nodded once again and stepped toward her baby brother, 6'4" and imposing. His weeping had subsided somewhat, giving Lainey the chance to ask the most important question Tommy would ever have to answer.

"What's her name?" She smiled at her brother, who looked at her quizzically until Lainey rephrased the question.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" She placed her hand on Tommy's cheek and smiled. Her brother's countenance changed, and instead of the tall, handsome athlete with the world at his feet, another, less imposing figure stood quietly, and said in a soft sweet voice,

"Taryn...my name is Taryn."

Next — “I missed you, why did you go?”

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Comments

Good start

Thanks for sharing - Jay

That which does not kill me only serves to delay the inevitable. My blog => http://jaynemorose.wordpress.com/ <= note new address

Tomy, Now Taryn, Makes Me Wonder

How many others in the family are hiding their true selves. Some times, the most vocal antagonists are afraid to be themselves, so they denounce those who remind them of their secret.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Good question

Andrea Lena's picture

I won't keep you waiting to find out; Lainey and Taryn are the only tg members of the family. No self-loathing for their family; they hate everyone else enough, so the question is, can anyone in the family accept these two precious girls? That answer you'll have to wait for, but I promise you'll be at least surprised by the answer. Stan, I've noticed a nice quality throughout your comments, with my stories and with others as well. You're always interested in seeing justice or restoration or healing, and you demonstrate that you connect with and care about the characters. You, sir, are a man of honor!
"She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones." Che Dio ti benedica! 'drea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

This is the most mixed up town...

Ole Ulfson's picture

but I believe in providence too, and I know that providence and Andrea Lena will make it right. I have complete faith in you to solve yet another little, well, 6'4", not so little problem.

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!