Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike) Part 844 by Angharad

This week the girls would be breaking up from school, so I had to do their Christmas shopping, some food shopping and if possible some work for the mammal survey. I had a sudden urge to see Spike, so after dropping the girls at school I drove to the university.

Pippa was pleased to see me, asked me how married life was and winked. I blushed and she winked again. I was blushing because we’d hardly had time to do anything romantic since being married. Oh well, the truth was irrelevant this time. Tom was at a meeting with the dean, so I went down to the labs. Neal was there and happy to see me. Thankfully he wasn’t so interested in my married life but told me he’d asked Gloria to marry him–he was prompted by Simon’s and my wedding. I bit my tongue.

The dormice were all hibernating in special nest sites we had for them. It might seem odd but they actually make nests in the ground–nest boxes, apart from being too cold in a frost situation, become too dry and the poor little mites dehydrate. So they build a nest in the ground of things like honeysuckle bark and various grasses and hopefully with a good amount of body fat then curl up for a few month’s kip. The furry tail serves as a way of keeping the nose and paws warm–well warm enough to prevent frost damage or frost bite, which is a form of gangrene. It also helps trap moisture and stop them drying out. Mammals lose moisture from the water vapour in our breath, over months it could prove to be a significant amount–just think about the condensation on the bedroom windows in winter.

The animals looked well and the weight charts showed we were obviously feeding them correctly. Dormice are one of the few rodents which can’t digest cellulose as in plant material, so can’t eat mature leaves, they can eat buds and some leaf shoots but before they become full of cellulose. They eat things like pollen and tree flowers instead.

“When are you getting married?” I asked Neal over a cup of coffee.

“In the spring, do you think Tom would give Gloria away, her father’s dead?”

“I’m sure he’d be delighted to.”

“I’m sure I shouldn’t be telling you this, but she wants you to be matron of honour.”

“Me? You’re joking?”

“She’s off today with her mum, they’ve gone Christmas shopping, but I know she’s going to ask you.”

“Why me?” I asked almost in shock.

“Because she thinks you’d do a good job and she’d like to have your three girls as bridesmaids.”

“I think that might be more possible than me as matron of honour.”

“Anyway, she’ll be in touch over Christmas.”

“Talking of which, who’s going to check the dormice?”

“We haven’t decided yet.”

“Well count me in for the odd day, preferably not Christmas Day–I’ll be sort of busy.”

“With three kids–I’ll bet you will.”

“Where are you getting married?”

“The same church you used.” I nearly choked on my coffee.

The Christmas shopping was chaotic, nearly every other resident of Hampshire seemed intent on clogging up the streets of Portsmouth. It took me longer than I intended and I had no lunch either–just no time. I grabbed a chocolate bar on the way back to the car and ate it as I drove to collect the girls. I had some pizzas in the fridge, which they all liked and although I didn’t, one night wouldn’t kill me.

Life in the fast lane this wasn’t–the road out of the town centre towards the school, it was painfully slow and frustrating. I was actually a few minutes late when I got there and the girls were talking with the headmistress.

“Ah, Lady Cameron, I was getting details of your wedding and the lovely dress you wore.”

“It wasn’t a wedding dress, the actual ceremony was an informal one as regards dress, the dressy one is after Christmas up at Henry’s estate.”

“Gosh, you get to do it twice–how lovely.”

“Mummy doesn’t think so, do you, Mummy?” said Trish dropping me in it.

I blushed furiously, “I–um–prefer to be out of the spotlight.”

“And this is the woman who did a TV documentary?” Sister Maria’s eyes were mocking me.

“I couldn’t see the audience.”

“You could on the Youtube clip.”

“I was assisting then.”

“Well I hope you’ll still present the prizes and the address for school prize day.”

“I said I would,” I blushed, me and my big gob.

“And a lady always honours her word,” said Sister Maria making sure I would or face my children’s disgust, “Isn’t that right, girls?” Of course they all agreed vociferously.

The drive back was the usual, squabbling and giggling from the back seat. I nearly mentioned the possibility of them being bridesmaids again, but decided as Gloria hadn’t actually asked me herself, I’d keep it quiet for now.

“Is the black man coming again?” asked Livvie.

“Leon? Yes, why?”

“Is he going to borrow your clothes again?” she asked and they all roared with laughter.

“Yes, put him in a skirt, Mummy,” said Trish and they roared again.

“No he won’t and no I won’t.”

“Aww spoilsport.”

“Any more out of you lot and I won’t do the pizza for tea.”

“That’s not fair,” came the response.

“It’ll be bread and dripping.” I wondered if they’d know what I meant, probably not.

“What’s drippin’, Mummy?” asked Trish.

“The bread, stupid,” added Livvie and they giggled.

When it had stopped, or at least was intermittent, I explained, “It’s runny fat from meat.”

“Eeeewww, Yuck,” and pretend vomit sounds came from behind me.

“People used to eat it years ago.”

“I ‘spect they ate dinosaurs and rhinosaurs, years ago,” offered Trish.

“What on earth is a rhinosaur?”

“One of those things with a horn on its nose.”

“You mean a rhinoceros?” I corrected.

“Yeah, one of those.”

“I have news for you girls, dinosaurs had largely disappeared before Adam and Eve came on the scene. The rhinos would possibly have been woolly ones.”

“What like sheep?” Trish squealed and they all laughed again. Then there was a contest to see who could make the best rhinoceros baa–I know, it’s too surreal to contemplate, try being stuck in a car with it.