"What's this?" I said unfolding a white cotton panty that got mixed in with the briefs stacked in my drawer.
My wife, Beth, had a wide assortment of panties and used to do all the laundry. Folded like they were, it was easy to see how Beth made the mistake. She laughed.
"No problem," I said also chuckling.
"I bet they'd look cute on you," she teased.
"I bet they wouldn't Beth."
"You're on Brian!"
"I said I'll take that bet. I say they'll look cute. You say they won't. What's the prize for the winner?"
"Nothing. I'm not wearing these Beth!" I said still laughing.
"What? Are you chicken? Too insecure about your manhood Brian?"
"I'm not chicken. I just think this whole thing is ridiculous. I'm not putting them on."
"OK! OK Silly! I was just having some fun with you."
The incident was soon forgotten until a Friday morning several months later when it happened again. Just out of the shower, I stood in front of my underwear drawer before getting dressed.
"Are you trying to tell me something Beth," I said, holding up the plain white panties again.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Maybe I'm trying to tell you to try them on Brian! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Calling Beth's Bluff, I unceremoniously stepped into those panties and slid them up into place.
"There," I said. "Is this what you want?"
Beth hadn't stopped laughing.
"Definitely! They look adorable on you!"
I don't know if adorable was quite the right word but they actually didn't look too out of place either. The feminine trim and little white bow in front were the main differences from my briefs. The cut was a little different, but not by much.
Beth came over and put a hand on my crotch.
"I like them on you," she said, giving me a scorching kiss that surprised me for the morning hour.
The panties didn't stay on long. Beth and I found ourselves back in bed, enjoying sex that was surprisingly intense for having just gotten up. Beth wasn't usually a morning person.
"Wait," she said as I started for the dresser afterward. "You should wear these."
She hadn't waited for an answer. Beth tossed the panties as I turned. I caught them reflexively as the panty hit my chest.
"Are you serious Beth? Why?"
"So you can remember me all day Brian."
"I don't need these to remember you," I said laughing.
"Come on Brian. Don't be such a stick in the mud! Be a little wild today! I can't tell you how erotic it is for me just thinking about you smelling like me and wearing my panties all day."
I hadn't rinsed off after sex. My penis still had Beth's aroma. I shrugged and stepped into the panties again. Beth watched silently as I proceeded to continue dressing normally.
"Ta-da!" I said with my hands out for her to see me finally dressed. "Are you happy?"
"I'm horny Brian," she said with a hint of lust I hadn't picked up on while dressing. "You'd better go, before I make you even later for work."
"How's my little girl?" Beth teased when she greeted me after work with a kiss at the door and a hand on my crotch.
"I'm thinking I won't be wearing your panties at work anymore," I answered, ignoring the little girl reference.
"Why?" she asked genuinely curious.
"Because I think I remembered you TOO well Beth. I must have gotten hard half a dozen times today. I felt like I was back in high school, walking around with a folder over my crotch whenever I had to get up from my desk! The only difference was that wearing the panties didn't let me come down. The only way I could soften up was to jerk off to release the pressure!"
"That's SO hot Brian," she whispered into my ear, rubbing my pantied crotch. "Or should I say Stacy?"
Though Beth continued stroking my growing hard-on through my pants and began probing my mouth with her tongue, I went cold inside.
"Oh my god," was all I could whisper as I broke away from Beth's attention.
"Yes. I know Stacy," she said with a hungry smile as she advanced on me.
I stepped back.
"How long?" I said nervously, ignoring the fact she was calling me Stacy.
Beth just shrugged. "It doesn't matter Stacy. I like it."
She advanced again. I hadn't stepped back. I stood there as Beth resumed fondling my crotch and feeding on my lips. Too stunned to even kiss her back, I just stood there trying to process what was happening.
"I'd like to see you dressed Stacy," she finally said through mashed lips and with her eyes closed in ecstasy.
"Beth. I don't think I"
"I'm not taking no for an answer. Come on."
With that, she led me by my crotch to the bedroom. My previously 'secret' suitcase, the one I kept hidden in the attic where Beth never went, was opened on the bed. Much of its contents were spread out on the bed and around the room.
Beth picked up a shopping bag from a dresser top as we entered.
"Here. Take this," she said handing me the bag. "I want you to put that dress on," she continued as she pointed to a new dress hanging over the closet. "We're going out tonight."
"Beth. I can't," I pleaded.
"Stacy," she said, like I was a child that needed reproaching. "You can and you will."
With the smile of a loving parent, Beth gently nudged me toward the master bathroom as she closed me into the bedroom.
"Take your time Stacy," she said behind the door before I heard her footsteps retreating.
I stood there in shock and disbelief before finally looking into the shopping bag. It was hard not to notice the large silicon breast forms first, or the medical adhesive that went with them. They made perfect sense with the sleeveless mini-stretch sheath-dress hanging on the wall. That nothing of a dress wasn't meant to be worn with a bra considering the bare arms, neck, and shoulders it would show. The Nair made sense too. Though I could normally hide leg hair under layers of hose; that dress would show my pits and more of my chest and normally hair-covered arms than I would ever show.
The other thing that stood out was the large anal dildo. It was much larger, thicker, and more 'life like' than my little but-plug lying on the bed. It had batteries and a little wire hanging off the base. There was no 'on' switch.
The bag held a supply of new makeup, glue-on nails tips, silk-wrap, and polish. There was a new bottle of perfume that wasn't Beth's scent. There was a new package of sheer black pantyhose too.
But what really struck me was the jewelry and a pair of tweezers. There was a wide pearl choker, a matching bracelet, several rings, and dangling pearl earrings (that were for pierced ears). There was also a clipping from a woman's magazine, which showed the right and wrong way to pluck brows.
"Oh shit," I whispered to myself.
While this seemed like a dream come true, I was scared out of my mind. It was one thing to yearn (with all my being) to have my secret out and accepted by Beth. It was quite another thing to be suddenly confronted with it actually happening. The allure of the 'fantasy' was shattered and replaced by ugly embarrassment and fearful uncertainty. What was Beth doing? Did she REALLY like this? Did she REALLY want to see me dressed as my hidden alter-ego, Stacy? Or was this some kind of a test? Was Beth so upset that she was setting me up for something vindictive?
I had to go with my gut. Beth's intensity during sex couldn't have been faked. She had gone through a lot of trouble and expense to set up this night too. Ultimately though, the months between the two 'accidental' underwear goofs was what swayed me. Life was so good together. Beth was so loving and 'normal' during that time. Beth couldn't have pretended everything was so wonderful for all that time if she had a real problem with her obvious discovery or if she was so upset that she was going to punish me somehow. I was convinced that Beth really wanted me to do this.
With that thought, I went into the bathroom and read the Nair instructions carefully. There wasn't a need to imitate smooth legs under layers of hose anymore anyway. My secret was out. Seeing smooth hairless skin emerge from under the rinsing chemical foam soon put me squarely into my usual erotic fantasy of transformation too. I couldn't believe how smooth legs, a bald little crotch, and a hairless body could feminize me! I literally shook from the adrenaline coursing through my body as I pierced my ears and felt the little hanging pears sway against my neck. It made it very difficult for me to just pluck my brows to the 'neutral' shape that I didn't want to go beyond. Each painful little tug sent a jolt of pleasure to my bald little penis. I told myself "just a few more hairs" a few too many times. Suddenly I realized that I had gone past neutral and had given myself feminine brows that I couldn't hide. There was no reason to hold back at that point. When I finally stopped my brief madness, I had shaped my brows into two delicately thin arches that no man would ever have.
Makeup, perfume, and the drying polish on my toes and my new long nails almost seemed anti-climactic after seeing myself in the mirror. The smooth skin, pierced ears, jewelry, and those dramatically feminine brows had amazingly transformed me already. My little bald penis was the thing that looked most out of place. Long after I was certain that everything was dry, I went back into the bedroom to get dressed. I glued on those incredible breasts and miraculously fit the tremendous anal dildo into my ass before carefully trussing myself into my rib-crushing padded panty-girdle.
I slid the sheer black pantyhose over my legs, careful not to catch them on my nails. With some wiggling and an awkward little zip, I finally squeezed into that tiny sheath of a dress. It rose to just under my pits and showed all but a few inches of my silky thighs. The dress fit like a second skin and squeezed my hour-glass curves even tighter. I stepped into my four-inch black patent pumps and minced toward the bathroom even as I fit my long blond wig into place so that it fell in cascades over my bare shoulders.
I wasn't prepared for what I saw in the mirror. I actually gasped.
I knew that I could look good as a woman but always had to compensate for the eventual return to 'real life'. Layers of hose normally mimicked legs I couldn't shave. Dresses and tops had to cover arms, pits, and a few pitiful chest hairs. Clip-ons limited my choices for earrings and I was too afraid to smell of perfume or polish remover. I could never even dream of doing anything about the caterpillars that were my brows.
But now a woman stared back in amazement from the mirror. The brows, hairlessly feminine pits and arms, silky smooth legs, and everything else erased any trace of Brian completely. I stared at Stacy, or Stacy as she always should have been. I stared at the woman who was previously hidden within me.
I was too nervous to leave the bedroom right away and cleaned up a bit first. The large swollen penis hidden deep inside me had spread my ass apart and forced more feminine steps than just the heels and outfit could explain.
"Beth?" I finally said in a too-well practiced woman's voice that I thought Beth would be ready for. She was dressed in a little red cocktail dress herself.
"Oh my god," she whispered dumbstruck. "Stacy?"
I could only nod.
"Say something again."
"Something again," I said trying to cut the tension.
"Oh my god," Beth repeated again. "I can't BELIEVE how good you look!" Then before she said any more or could give me a chance to prepare myself she said, "Let's go."
"Go where?" I said nervously, still in my Stacy voice.
"Out Silly. Let me get a bag for you."
In a blur of activity, Beth found a little black clutch for me and placed my new perfume, lipstick, and powder-compact in before also dropping in a spare house key. The tiny clutch had no straps, which made me look even more feminine by having to hold it.
I barely had time to think before being rushed out the door. A taxi waited.
"La Maison," Beth said to the driver after we swung our legs in and he closed the door for us.
La Maison was an elegant French restaurant we liked to go to for special nights. It was a few towns away, but always worth the ride. Beth made small talk during the drive, as if I were a girlfriend of hers.
She paid the driver and we were suddenly walking into the restaurant.
"There they are," Beth said to my utter shock and amazement.
"There who are?" I said nervously, but it was too late.
Beth was still leading me into the restaurant by my smooth feminine arm as Frank and Bob looked up from the bar area. Both of them were beaming at us with eager smiles as they rose from their stools.
Frank gave Beth a little kiss on the lips as they greeted us.
"Hello Beth. You look beautiful as usual," he said.
"So do you Frank," she said blushing. "I'd like you to meet my friend, Stacy."
"Pleased to meet you Stacy," he said taking my hand gently.
"And here's your date Stacy! Bob. Stacy."
"It's my pleasure," Bob said as he also took my hand gently, which he held with an expectant look on his face.
At that moment, I suppressed a squeak of surprise as I felt the phallus filling my poor stretched ass come to vibrating life! The initial shock was quickly replaced by the shock of how good it felt humming silently within me.
"Please to meet you too Bob," I said finally.
I was dumfounded and trying to make sense of what was happening. Had I read Beth right? Was she plotting against me? Was this all a trick? Did Frank and Bob know I was really Brian?
Bob released my hand to say hello to Beth. The vibrating stopped.
I looked for someone holding a remote of some kind, but didn't notice anything. After some small talk, Frank said something to the maitre de and we went back into the bar area. With Bob's hand on the small of my back as we walked, the vibrating started again, only to stop when I was perched on the stool.
The men had real drinks and I followed Beth's lead with wine. I was terrified of being found out and tried extra hard to not show any trace of me. The wine helped me relax even as those excruciatingly wonderful vibrations wracked my body whenever Bob touched or held me. Those touches became more and more frequent, until Bob's hand ended up on my back to stay. I almost came.
The Maitre de came by in the middle of our third drink. The vibrations continued as Bob led me to my seat, which he held for me. Whatever Beth was doing to make that vibrating cock come to life, I began wanting it to be on all the time. Like Pavlov's dogs, trained to salivate to the sound of a dinner bell, I ached for some pretext for Bob to touch me again so that those wonderful vibrations could continue.
At some point during dinner, Beth said something that took a moment to sink in.
"Excuse us. We ladies need to freshen up."
I understood that I was being called into the women's bathroom ritual only after Bob and Frank stood to hold our chairs.
"What the hell is going on here Beth?" I whispered urgently after we were alone in the ladies room.
"You look like you're having fun Stacy?" she said ignoring my question.
"I don't know what I'm having," I said. "I don't know what all this is about!"
"Are you enjoying Bob's touches?" Beth said devilishly pleased with herself.
"Really?" she said skeptically, holding my gaze.
"OK. That thing does feel good when it's doing its thing but"
"That thing is a dick Stacy. It's a big beautiful cock that loves it when Bob touches you. You didn't answer my question Stacy. Do you like it when Bob touches you?"
"I like what happens when Bob"
"Do you like it when Bob touches you?" Beth said more urgently.
I stared at her dumbfounded for a moment. "Yes," I finally admitted sheepishly.
"Look. It was hard for me to understand what I discovered Brian. I had doubts about you, about us, about ME Brian. But the more I tried to learn about all this," she said waiving her hands toward me, "the more I learned that people who do this, just can't help it."
"I can help it B-"
"Shhhhhh. Hear me out Brian. This is hard enough. I know you still love me and that you're still attracted to me. I know that you normally don't consider yourself gay or like men."
"But I also know that this urge isn't just a passing thing Brian," she continued. "It's not something you can put on the shelf and ignore. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. Let me finish. Look at you. However you think I might have 'tricked' you Brian, you're the one who Naired your legs and body. You're the one who glued on breasts and nails, did your own makeup, pierced your own ears, and plucked your brows like that. I still can't believe those brows either Brian. What were you thinking? You can't hide brows like that! For crying out loud," she said getting a little agitated, "you have an enormous penis in your ass Brian!."
Beth composed herself while I waited for more.
"I learned something else about your little obsession that you might not have given thought to Brian. In fact, from what I've read, I highly doubt it. Though it's common for men like you to feel completely heterosexual, they crave (you crave) an affirmation of your feminine self that only the attention of men can provide. Somehow, the illusion is that much stronger if you can pass enough or can be pretty enough to be attractive to the opposite sex. My guess is that you have fantasies that involve men or penises, even though you would never think of doing anything with them in real life Brian. You probably jerk off fantasizing about real dicks in your ass (or even your mouth), only to reject those thoughts the instant you cum. How many years has it been since you had a normal fantasy about a woman Brian."
I just stared at Beth.
"I thought so," she said damningly. "I'll bet you sometimes even fantasize that you're the woman when we're having sex. You probably tell yourself your going to eat your own cum when you're jerking off too, only to be repulsed by the idea as soon as you orgasm. Shhhhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhh! Hear me out." She paused. "It's OK Brian. I understand. Probably better than you do yourself actually."
Beth broke off for a moment again.
"I love you Brian," she said before pausing to waive off the mist forming on her eyes. "I love you so much," she said, taking even longer to compose herself. "I could never hurt you or deny you this thing that is such a part of who you are."
"SHHHHHhhhhh damnit! Oh god this is so hard. I love you Brian. I can't deny this thing you do because that could only drive a wedge between us. You would resent me and your life. You would grow bitter and risk more and more personally and professionally to indulge your hidden obsession. But I also can't embrace it Brian. I see this beautiful woman in front of me and I love her. I love you Stacy. But I'm a woman, and I need a man. I need a man to be my husband in mind and in body."
Beth waived off my comments as she paused to compose herself again.
"I see how comfortable you are as Stacy. How natural you are. You move, you look, you even sound like a real woman Brian. You've obviously gotten lots of practice over the years, but it's more than that. In spite of why you enjoy that thing inside you so much, a real man would have avoided Bob's touches. A man wouldn't have encouraged those touches, no matter how good that vibrator felt. A man wouldn't be so at ease being held like Bob held you Brian."
"I don't," I started trying to say.
"It's because I love you Brian, Stacy, that I want to help you. We all want to help you."
"ALL?!" I said incredulously.
"All Stacy. Frank and Bob both know and are helping you be who you really want to be."
"But Bob's been acting like I'm really his date!" I said instead of denying Beth.
"It seems like I'm meant to find out about people's hidden lives. I spent a lot of time in chat rooms on the internet when I researched all this Stacy. This one guy said way too many things that reminded me about Bob. I 'caught' him in a private chat later. Actually, he was pretty relieved to have someone know his own secret obsession and not be judgmental."
"Bob dresses too?!"
"No Stacy. But he likes people who do."
She let that sink in for a moment. I didn't ask about Frank. After thinking back to the lip kiss when we all met, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
"Will you let me help you Stacy?" she finally said.
Beth rummaged in her bag and eventually held out some pills. "Take these," she said simply.
I didn't ask what they were. Somehow, I already new.
"Are you sure Beth?" I said with my own eyes misting over even as I reached out.
All she could do was nod and fight back her own tears.
Taking a little Dixie cup of water, I swallowed the pills down.
We looked at each other and couldn't fight it any longer. The tears started streaming from both of us as womanly hormones began coursing through my body.
"Oh Beth," I sobbed reaching out.
"Oh Stacy," she said embracing me tightly.
Beth and I had a good cry before fixing our makeup. I took a while before we were presentable enough to return.
"Oh. There's one more thing before we go back out Stacy."
"We're not going home together. I'm going home with Frank tonight."
In spite of all that transpired, I thought about that with a slight frown. Beth noticed.
Beth paused before saying, "I meant it when I said I needed a man Stacy."
She continued, "You're a woman. You'll need to find your own man too Stacy. I'm not sure if Bob's the one, but he is eager to help you to discover yourself. And who knows?" Beth said encouragingly. "Maybe he'll get lucky and you can swap that plastic thing inside you for the real thing!"
I faked a smile that I hoped didn't show my new nervousness.
"Women!" Frank said as the men helped us into our chairs. "What do you do in there?"
Beth said, "We sing Happy Birthday."
As if it were a long awaited signal, Bob and Frank both lit up.
"Oh that's so wonderful," Frank said beaming. "Congratulations Stacy!"
"I'm so happy for your Stacy," Bob said leaning in as he placed a hand on my thigh under the table.
Instantly, the vibrating penis in my ass came to life. This time though, there was an accompanying throb to its action. I smiled at Bob, very conscious that I wasn't flinching from his touch. Far from it. The throb and hum didn't drive me nearly as wild as the feel of Bob's hand itself on my smooth stockinged thigh.
Dinner couldn't end fast enough but I skipped desert for other reasons. I had to watch my girlish figure from now on. We said goodnight to Frank and Beth. As we drove away, Bob's hand, Robert's hand, found my thigh again and ever so gently caressed my silky leg while the throbbing hum continued within me. The growing bulge I saw in Robert's pants turned me on more than I could have imagined.
"Don't make me cum just yet Robert."
"Yet," he said smiling as he withdrew his hand.
"Yet," I agreed as we drove off to new beginnings together.
Twenty nine months later, I heard the organ swell from the back of the chapel. I felt like a princess in my wedding gown. My wisp of a body had filled out beautifully and the closely-fitted bodice showed off my striking but tasteful cleavage. My father was probably more nervous than I at my side. After a long and difficult process of anger, denial, and finally acceptance, he had insisted on giving me away.
All eyes were upon me as I started my slow march down the isle. These were my friends and family, shown up to be a part of the most wonderful day of my life. I couldn't feel anything but joy bursting forth as I saw the smiles for my happiness.
My mother was seated up front. Beth and Frank stood as Maid of Honor and Best Man. And there was my Robert. Poor Robert. It was a long time since my surgery. Robert respected my wishes for him to marry a real virgin. A flutter came to my young vagina even as I thought of how I would reward Robert for his patience on our wedding night.
Suddenly, I stood by Robert's side. The ceremony rushed by in a blur.
"Do you Robert, take Stacy to be your lawfully wedded Bride. To have, and to hold, and to cherish. In sickness and in health. In prosperity and poverty. Till death do you part?"
"And do you, Stacy, take Robert to be your lawfully wedded Husband. To have and to hold and to cherish. To honor and obey. In sickness and in health. In prosperity and poverty. Till death do you part?"
Suddenly, Robert was sliding a ring onto my finger.
"With this ring, I wed thee Stacy."
And then I was sliding a ring onto Robert's finger.
"With this ring, I wed thee Robert."
After a fog of more words, the celebrant said, "By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Robert slowly raised my veil and looked lovingly into my eyes. It took a moment to realize that people were cheering as Robert's lips met mine. From the din I heard the celebrant speak his last words.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. I present to you for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Robert and Stacy Jones!"
I reflected on how lucky I was as I held onto my husband, cameras flashing as we walked back down the isle together. I could have continued leading a conflicted and unhealthy life, not even knowing that I was lying to myself and to those around me. I could have told myself I was happy and even 'normal' in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. I could have continued deceiving Beth, who clung to a pretend man named Brian who didn't really exist, while preventing her from finding her true love in Frank. I could have continued hiding the 'other woman', which was really me, while drifting to an ugly but inevitable day of reckoning for all of us.
But no. My eyes were opened and I was given the courage to embrace my true self. I was able to put the conflict of my life to rest and be the one whole person, the woman, I was meant to be.
And now that my solid soul is connected to Robert's I am even more whole than ever. I am me but also somebody's wife. But not just anybody's wife. Robert and I were truly meant for each other. We understand each other deep down and have no secrets between us. I am truly lucky, no blessed, to have Robert as my husband and to be able to live my life as it was meant to be lived, as Robert's wife.
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