Threesome

A wife decides to move back in with her former girlfriend. Her husband pleads to live with them, planning to win her back.
The two women set certain conditions -- they have their own plans for him.

Threesome

by Vickie Tern

Copyright © 02/29/00 by Vickie Tern

 
Authors foreword: The sex scenes in this story are raw, cooked, scrambled, and coddled. No violence or force, but that doesn't necessarily mean the characters are nice to each other.

This is a fiction. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead is purely coincidental. It may not remain that was of course -- life sometimes imitates art.

If you aren't old enough to read this lawfully, wait. If it's worth reading it'll still be around. If not, no great loss. Of course I hope it will still be worth reading by then, and will appreciate anyone letting me know what they think: [email protected].

May be copied to any free archive, but do let me know!


 
 
i.
 
 
When I got home I was surprised to find that Ellie was already bustling about in the kitchen. Usually I'm the first to arrive and start the cooking. We share all our household chores, and she often works later hours, so more often than not I do the picking up from the night before, and make the bed we abandoned that morning, and fix dinner. It's a matter of convenience, but also an act of love. I love her. I want to please her. Sometimes when she gets home tired and sees what I've prepared, her smile of appreciation lights up my whole life.

But this time Ellie was home early and cooking away, setting things up with her usual efficiency, one hand hauling out a micro dish for vegetables she'd already chopped, the other adjusting the oven temperature for a roast she'd already enthroned in a pan, impaled with cloves, and surrounded by oiled potatoes. No waste motion with Ellie, ever. I glanced past her into the dining room and saw the table set with our fine china. Company coming. I couldn't quite see how many extra places, so I walked in and looked. Only one.

"So?" I asked her.

"Becky," she replied, distracted by a carrot cube trapped under the cutting board. "She's in town again. She phoned, we had a long talk, she wants to come over, I said sure. So she'll be having dinner with us."

"Becky," I said. "Your Becky? The one and only?"

Ellie looked up at me and smiled the warmest smile I'd seen in some time. I melted. "My 'Becky,' honey. 'Rebecca' to you, remember. I do hope you'll try to be nice to her. It'll help all around if you try."

Elly and Rebecca had been roommates all through college and graduate school, absolutely inseparable the whole time. They went everywhere together, vacationed together, and together shared clothes and money and the deepest secrets of their hearts. Early on they'd even dated the same guys, passing them to and fro, until their tastes diverged. They were a two-girl sorority. When Ellie finished her Management degree, instead of moving on to a fast-track brokerage she did low-paid accounting for a tax firm while waiting for Rebecca to finish a residency in Gynecology. That was how I first met Ellie -- I had some tangled tax problems she solved so deftly my jaw dropped. The two of them were closer than sisters -- they never seemed to disagree about anything. They meant to start a women's health service when Rebecca became board-certified, and then franchise it across the country. But I began dating Ellie, and we both fell deeply in love, and Rebecca ended up going her own way.

I absolutely adored Ellie. When I implored her to leave Rebecca and move in with me she felt anguished, but not-too-long afterward we got married and began to make a life together. It was a good life. It still is.

Rebecca was happy for Ellie of course, though she never got over my intrusion into their intimacy. Her resentment showed, now and then. Though she was always "Becky" to Ellie she remained "Rebecca" to me -- I tried "Becky" just once, and her cold stare ended that attempt immediately. She saw me as a rival, in a way. That's certainly how I thought of her. Her spirit presided over us during our first years together, resolving all disputes: whether toilet paper should come off the roll under or over (over), or toilet seats should be left down (of course), or where in my bureau my socks belonged (right front), and whether we should take camping or resort vacations (alternate them), whether I should lose a little more weight (yes), who cooks and cleans (either), even how we should deal with disputes (convene a kind of family court in the living room immediately after dinner, and never go to sleep with the issue unresolved). Our domestic arrangements so closely resembled Ellie's with Rebecca that sometimes Ellie would forget and call me "Becky" when reminding me to pay the phone bill or pick up the dry cleaning. I wasn't bothered by it -- her tone was always loving.

They saw each other as often as they could, and after we moved here they phoned frequently. When either took an out of town trip they coordinated schedules to try to meet at some midway point. Eventually Rebecca also got married, to a pharmaceutical manufacturer named Tim, who apparently persuaded her that two tough-minded people like themselves had to be meant for each other. Then the two of them stayed with us whenever they happened to be passing through. They were welcome -- our house was plenty large enough (we'd bought it for raising a family when Ellie felt ready). But I was always glad when they left.

I wasn't crazy about Tim. When Ellie told me the marriage was imminent, my first ungenerous thought was 'maybe they deserve each other.' Tim also called her "Rebecca" (he tried "Reba" spitefully once when she denied him "Becky," he told me, but only once, never again). If Rebecca was stubborn and suspicious, Tim was mean and aggressive. His eyes gleamed when he explained how he'd turned some employee or competitor into a victim, or squeezed an undeserved advantage from some business deal. Marriage was one more deal as he saw it, one where you give no quarter and ask none.

Theirs seemed one long hostile bargaining session -- they fought all the time, even in our presence. So I wasn't surprised when Ellie told me they were talking separation, this time maybe for good. I asked Ellie if she'd seen it coming, if some specific "irreconcilable difference" had come between them. Ellie'd nodded, but she was too preoccupied to say what it was, and I didn't press it. Who knows exactly why some marriages don't work out? I knew ours was a good one. Ellie and I shared everything, and we kept no secrets from each other. I certainly didn't.

I hadn't seen Rebecca since her last visit here with Tim, before their current animosities, and I wondered if she'd changed. If possibly she was a little less irritated by my existence.

"Remember! Be respectful!" Ellie warned me as she arranged a plate of crudities and stirred a dip to be nibbled with drinks, and I snagged a chunk of carrot to nibble then and there.

"I'll be nice to her, don't worry," I replied. "She's passing through town on her own this time?"

"On her own. But as a matter of fact, she may be here for good this time. She's been offered a job here. At that huge women's hospital north of town. She's here to try it out, to reorganize their outpatient services, a really big responsibility. She phoned to asked if she can stay here for a few days until we find somewhere else. I told her, sure, for as long as it takes."

Ellie bent over and put the roast into the oven and adjusted the dials, then straightened up and turned toward me. Then she straightened her shoulders even further.

"Joey, I'm sorry but I had to!" she said, a little defiantly.

That was odd. I'd never openly objected to Rebecca or any other of Ellie's friends stopping by to visit, no matter how I felt about them personally. It helped her stay in touch with her past, her former self, the girl I'd fallen in love with, after all. Ellie never objected to my friends either, and mine were sometimes a lot harder to take. But here she was feeling defensive!

"I had no choice!" Ellie added.

I looked up at her inquisitively. She looked pleased yet embarrassed, impenitent but somehow guilty, and I saw that her eyes were fixed on my face.

"She'll stay here while you help her find another place to live? I've got no problem with that," I said reassuringly. "Do you?"

"Well, yes, in a way," Ellie replied, still watching me. I began to feel uncomfortable. "I mean, I've got a problem, because you've got a really big problem."

"I do?" I said. What else could I do but repeat her words? They made no sense. "A really big problem? And what might that be?"

She turned and put the vegetables into the Micro, and pushed some more buttons, and set out a saucepan for last minute use, maybe for glazing gravy from the roasting pan, maybe for a Hollandaise, I didn't know. She began to take ingredients off the spice shelf. A Hollandaise.

Her back still turned toward me, she said "Listen, Joseph. I'll be done here in a minute. Why don't you go into the living room and pour yourself a drink and wait for me. I've got something to tell you."

"Joseph" was my name for our formal talks. "Joey" was my pet name for when she felt more intimate, which was most of the time. But apparently not now.

"Here's fine," I said. "And I can wait for a drink, we'll have wine with dinner. Anything I can do here to help?"

"I don't think so," she said. She shot me a glance over her shoulder, this one a little amused. Apparently she'd just settled something in her own mind. "Go ahead, honey. Make it a stiff one. Get sozzled. The ice is already out there. Now shooo!"

So I went into the living room. Ellie'd set out a lot of bottles on the sideboard, just the way she and Rebecca did it in that apartment where I'd gone to pick up Ellie for our first big date. We both sensed immediately that this might get serious, and she'd wanted me to meet her girlfriend Rebecca right off. I'd walked in and there on their sideboard was a forest of liquor bottles. Not that they drank much themselves, hardly anything. But as Rebecca'd explained while Ellie was getting ready, they did a lot of entertaining, lots of friends passed through. It just seemed more hospitable for them to help themselves.

Ellie and I on the other hand kept our booze in the cabinet. We hadn't set it out on display like this previously ever. Not even when Tim and Rebecca were visiting us. It seemed an odd gesture to make now. I suppose it was to help Rebecca feel more at home.

The ice bucket was full. I made myself a drink and sat down. And waited. Well, I said to myself, for the next few days our liquor cabinet is rededicated to the good old days. I wondered what else.

Ellie came out wiping her hands on a towel, then fixed her eyes on me again and sat down.

"So," I said. "What's my really big problem." I smiled at her encouragingly.

She folded the towel carefully and set it aside, then looked at me again. A little pitying this time? Then she took a deep breath.

"There's no easy way to say this, Joey. In a few days, when Becky and I find a place and move out, it'll be both of us moving out. I'll be leaving you. I'll be going with Becky. For good."

That's what I thought I heard. I replayed her words in my mind, and they came out the same. She knew I'd heard her, so she said nothing more. She just sat there watching me absorb it.

I couldn't speak! I tried to swallow, and couldn't even manage that! We'd been married long enough for me to know that she meant everything she'd just said. Nothing uttered was ever joking or casual. Her next words would explain things. Would try to explain things, anyhow. I waited. Nothing.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Oh, you poor dear, you look devastated! It isn't anything you've done! And it isn't that I don't love you, honey! I do love you! More than ever! I'll always love you! I was looking forward to having a family with you, you know that! Growing old together!"

She thought she was consoling me! "But?" I managed to croak out.

"But I love Becky more! I know that now! Much more! And I've loved her for many more years! That's all! That's why! She wants me, and I've realized that I want her, I feel more complete with her, and I'm going back to her now that she's free and in town and we can live together again, the two of us, just the way we used to. That's all!" I just stared at her. Staring was all I could manage. None of this made sense! The bottom had dropped out of my stomach, out of my universe. I was utterly bewildered!

"Joey baby! Are you still with me?"

I nodded. I was.

"Joey, listen! All those years Becky and I lived together? We weren't just roomies."

Now she stood up and went over to the cluster of bottles and poured just soda into a glass for herself, over ice. And took a sip. Then turned to face me square on, looking down at me.

"Becky and I love each other. We always have. We've been as close as two girls can get! We're lovers! Really! We've always been lovers, practically from the day we met! For years and years before I met you. You never knew, and I've marveled that you never even speculated about it. You remember just before we met how I was going with a guy named Roger? I've mentioned him now and then? Well, he found out about me and Becky, and that was how come he broke off. He couldn't deal with it, he freaked!. The last time I saw him he was shrieking he'd been trapped by a pair of dykes, and I had to slam the door in his face! I suppose the idea that we slept together and had sex together threatened his manhood in some way. So I certainly wasn't going to tell you about us. Not then, not ever! Not until now."

I just stared, My Ellie a lesbian? How? I knew there'd been a few men before me, but women? This woman? Rebecca? It was unimaginable! What do women do?

"Honey, I guess you've been trapped by a pair of dykes. It isn't your fault. But now you need to know it! Becky and I love each other. Deeply. We always have, ever since we first met. Ever since that first day. Since then we've been intimate with each other in every way imaginable! We know every inch of each other's feelings and bodies, inside and out. Every inch! We've always been absolutely devoted to each other."

I sat stunned.

"I don't say we aren't like that too, honey," she went on. "But it's not the same way. Rebecca and I are affectionate, and gentle, delicately feminine, sensitive to each other's desires, all sorts of things men can never be. Even when we were college kids with raging hormones, hot and passionate and eager to get into bed and into each other in any way imaginable, even then we were always considerate. Never rough. Caring! We adored each other. So sex between us has always been transcendent, kind of out-of-body, unreal, beyond belief! Just glorious! Overwhelming! Like climbing a mountain into a golden sunrise!"

I was still baffled.

"It still is," she added, still watching me closely. I said nothing.

She saw, and continued. "All through all those school years I always assumed I'd meet some guy some day and marry him and have kids and enjoy all those other good things too. So there were other guys, too, for me, and then there was Roger. And no sooner was Roger gone than there you were, calling me up night and day, eager to get closer to me! Within a month -- you remember, you sweet darling? -- you were so sure about the two of us, so insistent that you wanted to move right in with Becky and me. So Becky and I could maintain our friendship, but you'd be there too. You were ready to share me! You were so sweet about the two of us then, so accepting. I even thought for a while that maybe you knew about us and didn't care, or that when you found out about us you wouldn't mind."

There was now a sweet smile on Ellie's face. She was reminiscing about our early days. Then she drained her glass.

"But you never did find out. Becky wanted no part of you living with us. Then a month later her medical residency took over her life and we scarcely saw each other, and soon after I moved in with you. So there was never any need to say anything."

She looked thoughtfully into her empty glass, and swirled an ice cube with her finger.

"But now she's back, and she wants to stay here with us until she can find a place of her own, and then she wants me to come live with her. To go back to what we were. And I want to! Oh, Joey honey, don't feel hurt! I've missed her so, all this time! I'm terribly sorry for you, love. But I've told her 'Yes!'"

I was silent. "Even after all these years?" I finally said.

"All these half-dozen years? Sweetheart, they've been good years. I have no regrets, and I'm sorry they're over. But remember, for ten years before that there was always Becky! She gave me my first real kiss, and hers were the first fingers I ever allowed into my ... between my legs. She gave me my first really mind-blowing orgasms."

Ellie paused, then went on. "She still knows how to reach me and carry me into raptures beyond belief. We've never really been separated! We've been writing and phoning each other through the whole time you and I have been married, you know that! And you know that whenever she's passed through town she's stayed overnight with us. Every time. You've been a real dear about it, taking us out to dinner and concerts and shows, entertaining her with jokes, whatever. You were always like my new roommate trying to be nice to my old roommate, even though it was clear you didn't like her much and she liked you even less. I really loved you for it, each time."

"But you didn't take up with her again on any of those visits," I said. "I mean, physically. We're married. You wouldn't have!"

I recalled their occasional sly glances at each other during those visits. The giggling in Rebecca's room -- Tim snored like a diesel engine, so Rebecca always slept in a separate bedroom, and Ellie'd visit her there and they'd sit up half the night. It had all seemed rather charming. Girlish. Innocent.

Ellie didn't say anything. Then, "You know she's stayed with us, Joey," was all she said. "And I've just told you that we've always been close. That she still knows how to blow my mind away."

I just sat there, my mouth gaping. Ellie's been unfaithful to me in my own house! Was it infidelity if she did it with another woman, not with a man? Maybe not! Women were always being affectionate with each other!

"Honey, I've got strong sexual needs, as you know. Once we get started I wear you out, every time, you know that too. We make jokes about it, but it's serious! I guess you never knew that I'm really bi-sexual -- I love what women can do to me and I love what men can do, and I love doing it! Lots!"

Now she was in her own world, reminiscing.

"I guess I need both, but especially women. Becky and I each knew other girls before we found each other, but we fell into each other's arms right away. For years and years we really felt married. Right up to the day you and I got married. In fact, that whole last night while you were doing whatever you were doing at your bachelor party? Becky and I spent that whole night making the sweetest, saddest love I've ever known. It was so poignant and desperate! So lonely! We felt so helpless in each other's arms! It was so beautiful. We'd been so close! We were each other's body and soul, in a way! I knew then that the only way our marriage -- yours and mine -- could work was if I sort of stayed married to Becky too. I told her that, and she was so overjoyed that she cried and then couldn't stop crying. That's when we decided what we decided that last night, how we'd arrange things, the two of us. Remember, the next morning I made that last little change in our wedding vows? I took out the place where I promise I'll be 'forsaking all others'? I wanted to keep all the promises I made to you that day. And I have, honey! All of them! But I never promised you sexual fidelity."

"Our marriage was especially beautiful when I knew I didn't need to forsake Becky. You couldn't possibly guess, sweetie, but on our wedding night, when you came at me with your dear little pecker as big as I've ever seen it, quivering, so eager to sanctify our union, you couldn't possibly have known that my pussy was still stretched out and sore from the previous night. Becky never stopped plunging into me with her dildoes. She really ravaged me! She wanted me to spend my last night with her cumming continously. And I very nearly did, orgasm after orgasm. She pushed some really monster cocks into me! She fisted me! She wanted to ruin your fun with me the next night altogether, and she very nearly did that too."

"That next night I was so grateful that you're so much smaller than the jelly and rubber cocks Becky kept shoving into me! I was still so sore! But your penis snugged up inside me so gently I hardly felt it! It was so precious, so comforting! You remember how we hugged while you humped away on me as fast as you knew how? You were more a feeling than a solid cock, the way you felt inside me! It was almost as if you weren't there at all!"

"Of course Becky and I have made love a lot since then. Whenever we could! Sometimes we've met out of town at some convention, and sometimes in town in motels, afternoons. Sometimes nights when Tim and you were in neighboring rooms! We couldn't not! We love each other!"

"Oh, darling, just look at that expression on your face! You never knew? Of course not! How could you know? Or even suspect, you're so straight, so trusting! Well, Rebecca's husband was a lot more suspicious. Tim suspected something almost right away, and during their last visit here he finally found out what it was, and that was that! He couldn't handle it, no more than Roger could! Nor any man, I suppose! No, there was no way I could tell you!"

She paused, then went on with a certain smug sadness, "But now you know. And now it doesn't matter whether you know or not. I need Rebecca. She needs me. We want each other. We mean to share the rest of our lives with each other. I'm sorry for you, I really am. But that's the way it is!"

She looked at me. It was said. She turned back toward that collection of bottles and this time made herself a really stiff drink. While her back was toward me and she was clinking ice and pouring whisky she said in a small voice, "Honey, you really never suspected? Really? All that screaming we did in the guest bedroom sometimes, orgasm after orgasm, peak after peak, hers, mine, ours together, all night long sometimes? Sometimes it was so magnificent we didn't care who heard! You never woke up and saw I wasn't in bed with you? You never figured it out?"

I looked at my own glass. Somehow it had emptied itself. I couldn't look up at her. "I heard screaming now and then. I thought you were just being girls laughing together, is all," I said. "Having fun. Now you tell me...."

"That's right, honey. We were being girls together. Having fun."

She paused, and took a breath. Then went on. "Sex with you is different, Joey dear. Really good, sweetheart, but not really great! Even after I taught you how to lick me out and push into my pussy with your tongue, you remember that, and suck on my clit, sort of how Becky does it, it's never the same. You're caring, and devoted, a sweetheart, but somehow you never get really frenzied down there, not the way Becky does. Never! You don't set me on fire! You don't go crazy because your face has entered heaven! You don't play dangerous games with me! There's nothing kinky about you!"

"You never once wanted to tie me up, remember, even when I asked you? And there was that time I tried to tie you up so I could sit on your face and force you to eat me out with your cum still in me, and you thought that was just too yuckie? So we never got to find each other's deeper places. Or open up our darker feelings to each other! You wouldn't even wear a lacy nightgown to bed that time I asked you to, remember, when I wanted to close my eyes and hug you and imagine you were Becky? Of course you didn't know that was what I wanted, but you wouldn't do it anyhow! "I'm not a girl," was all you said. I knew that, honey. I just wanted you to pretend. But you wouldn't be a girl for me. I guess your manhood felt threatened. By a lacy little nightgown. By nothing at all! Remember?"

I remembered. We sat silent. I smelled the roast browning in the oven. My last supper? I had to stall this thing! How? Persuasion was useless. Go with it and steer her back to me, that was the only way! But how? Rebecca would never share Ellie with me in a threesome -- she'd rejected that notion way back! But an idea began to form. I reached out desperately! I needed time to fight for my wife, somehow! I had what, three days at most.

I tried my most mature manager's voice on her, calm, reasonable. "Ellie, let me understand. You've been happy with both of us, but you want Rebecca more than you want me?"

She just looked at me. What else had we been talking about?

"Do you have to choose?"

She continued to look at me, and I could see in her the first stirrings of impatience.

"Couldn't you live with both of us?"

Now she was listening. "I could," she said carefully. "But you know Becky couldn't."

She looked at me attentively, her thin eyebrows raised slightly, waiting. "In fact, could you? Could you share me with Becky? Knowing what you know now?" she asked.

I didn't hesitate. "Yes!" I said as forcefully as I could. If that was my only option. If that would buy me time, a chance to overwhelm Ellie and reclaim her for myself.

She smiled sympathetically, and gathered her skirt to stand up. Dinner was nearly ready. Our conversation was over.

"I could live with both of you," she said. "I would. I even suggested it to Becky."

Then she came forward and loomed over me. "I told you, I go both ways. And I do love you, sweetheart. I really do. Not the man in you, really, especially, but the you in you! I'd rather not leave you. I'd love to take you with me to live with Becky. Or stay here with you and Becky."

I looked up at her hopefully, and started to say something. That was what I wanted, if it was the best I could get for now! But her next words killed off that hope.

"But Joey, honey, Beckie isn't attracted to you. She never will be. She doesn't want to live with you. You're a nice man, she knows that, but you're a man."

I waited. She let the other shoe fall.

"Sweetheart, Beckie's now a confirmed lesbian. No more nor less. That's really why her marriage to Tim hasn't worked. He kept trying to turn her, and she was willing to let him try. But he's such an insensitive boor! He couldn't imagine why any woman would ever prefer another woman to him! Talk about a square peg in her round hole? Becky tried to turn him, too, at least to make him a little more considerate of her feelings. No way. She finished her honeymoon absolutely persuaded beyond any doubt that she would never sleep with any man ever again! Not any other man was what Tim thought she was saying, but she meant any man at all!"

"After that honeymoon they hardly ever touched each other. Tim has tomcatted around with all sorts of women in all sorts of ways, I know, so he didn't make an issue of it. He couldn't admit defeat. Not until their last visit here."

Ellie took a deep breath. Then, "Tim accidentally came on the two of us together in bed, late one night. We weren't asleep. He says he stayed by the door and watched us for a while, and we were so wrapped up in each other we never noticed! God, I remember we were hot that night! I don't remember that we ever slept at all, though we must have! Becky's soft, smooth skin rubbing on mine, her pillowy breasts, our arms and legs twined all around, our mouths fused, sucking and sweet, our juices flowing all over each other, our bodies pulsing in one huge heartbeat! God, it was wonderful!"

That memory transported Ellie into a rapturous silence. I felt excluded but strangely stirred, I had no idea why. But I sat stone still, and after a moment Ellie resumed.

"Tim told her the next day that he'd seen us, that he was disgusted, that their marriage was over! It would be by now, too, but they still can't agree on the terms of separation -- their negotiations are endless. They take perverse pleasure wrangling and haggling with each other. When Tim heard about her job offer here he said 'Go to her!' and then raised some further impossible demands. I cried when I found out what they were, and Becky was crying when she told me. We had to talk a long time before she calmed down."

I looked sorrowfully sympathetic and nodded, but at that moment Rebecca's problems weren't mine at all. My mind was preoccupied!

"Now he's turned really spiteful. He's tried to strip her of everything! Even little things I've given her over the years! And he's not stopping at blackmail. He's threatening to expose both of us."

Her face turned grim. "Well, that would bring you into it as her lesbian lover's duped husband, cuckolded by a queer, so we've had to talk a long time about sparing you that kind of embarrassment. Becky's playing some wild cards of her own too, but at the moment it appears Tim will get pretty nearly everything! Except what matters most to Becky. Me!"

"I never knew," I said. That sounded pretty lame, but I had to say something.

Elllie didn't seem to hear. "Becky says that now she won't share me with any man, not any longer. Once she had to, because I had to know what it was like, being married. But not now. Not even with you, and she sort of likes you in her peculiar way. She says she'll allow me one-nighters now and then if I must wrap my legs around some stud, feel a cock stuffed deep into me. But not with you. With different men each time, no emotional involvements, that's as far as she'll let me go. Well, I can live with that. I've done it before."

She waited to see what I'd say. Then considered whether to say something more. Then, as if to explain, she went on.

"We've done threesomes, honey, if that's what you're thinking. We enjoy being three in a bed. In New Orleans just a few months ago, you remember when Becky had her annual convention in New Orleans and I had mine? A friend of Becky's was with us the whole time. God, it was sublime!"

"But the friend was a girl sweetheart! All of Becky's other lovers are girls. It drives Tim crazy to know that! And even those girls have to be married with kids, so they won't get ideas about moving in on us permanently. Or else they have to be free spirits who don't want to get ideas about anyone. Becky doesn't like rivals."

She stared at me meaningfully, then looked down at her drink. Then stood again and refilled her glass, and took a quick swallow without even waiting for the ice to cool it down. And added, once again with her back toward me, "You don't qualify for that kind of threesome, hon. I'm sorry." And she started back toward the kitchen.

I could feel it. This discussion was over as far as Ellie was concerned. She was in motion. Out of the room, out of my life. It was now or never! I reached to grasp at a straw! At anything! Out of nowhere came a desperate cry!

"But what if I did?"

She paused and began to turn back toward me. "Did what?" she asked. Her voice was casual. She'd said everything that could be said.

"Qualify! For a threesome!"

She turned the rest of the way and just stared at me, really pitying me now. I'd understood nothing apparently. I could read it in her eyes, and I raced on! "No, I don't mean as a man! What if I tried to be a girl when I was with you two? Just tried! What if I was gentle, and kept my penis out of the way? And wore that lacy nightgown you once wanted me to wear? And used my mouth, anywhere you want it! Could you take me in then? To make up a threesome?"

A new argument suddenly occurred to me. I added, "Then you wouldn't have to leave here at all! We all three of us could live here together!"

I was playing for time! I needed time, more than anything else! What I was really willing to do, what I had to do, what I'd have to give up, what little deceptions might work, all those things I'd reconsider later! Decide about later, if I had to. I knew that as things were, once Ellie walked through that door and back into the kitchen, and once Rebecca walked through that front door, my marriage was over. Down the drain. I had to stop the flow! Somehow! To pretend I could be a girl with them was all that came to mind!

And now Ellie was looking at me with keen attention! "You really mean that?"

"Yes!" I'd thrown out my hook wildly, but I'd caught something! Now I had to set it past the barb so it wouldn't shake loose! The words came tumbling out unconsidered. "I want to be a girl!"

She just stood there, staring at me.

"Make me a girl!" I said, more emphatically still.

"What?!"

"Make me a girl! I'm willing! I'll be a girl for you! I want to! Ellie, please, I don't want to lose you!" I was appalled by what I was saying! But it was a cry from the heart! At that moment I believed in my sincerity absolutely!

"You're crazy!"

"I want you! I want you to love me! I want to live with you. No claims! If you can share me with Rebecca, and Rebecca will have me only if I'm a girl, then I want to be a girl! Make me a girl! Then Rebecca can have all of you and as much of me as she wants! And I can still have some of you! If Rebecca lets me!" Was I insane? No, not at all. But certainly anguished. And this was certainly the only idea I had, for now.

"You don't know what you're saying!"

"Yes, I do! Make me a girl!"

Ellie started back into the room and sat down on a chair by the door. I couldn't believe it! It was happening!

She shook her head, thoughtfully! "If we were a threesome, even if we lived here you'd be a third party, a guest as it were. In your own house! You'd have to move into our guest room, Joey. Could you stand that?"

"Yes!"

"A girl? I know it can be done. With hormones and things. Becky knows how, she's had patients who wanted to be girls. But you'd have so much to learn! You'd have to do so many things you'd certainly find unfamiliar, even embarrassing! You'd have to give up so much! You're not a girl! Not even a transvestite!"

"Yes! I am! I can be!" What things? In the privacy of my relationships with them, I could handle it! In bed with them? Here in this house? How difficult could it be to wear a dress or a nightgown around the house now and then while I tried to woo and win back my own wife? No problem!

She paused. "That's quite a notion! For my Joey to try to become a girl! It's sort of romantic, I must say!" She looked at me admiringly, now. "I sort of like it! Greater love hath no man than to give up being a man for the woman he loves! I'll certainly ask Becky how she feels about it when she gets here. She's about due!"

Then Ellie turned and went back into the kitchen.

I sat there a moment. What have I done? I've saved my ass, that's what I've done, I told myself! I've lived to fight another day! I stood up, triumphant!

"Yessssss!!!" I whispered aloud!

All was not lost!

And at that moment, the door chimes sounded.
 
 
ii.
 
 
Two days later I answered the door when the chimes sounded, and Rebecca swept past me, not condescending even to glance at me. "I see you're still here? You like what we're doing to you? Where's your pride, girl? Is Miss Elaine home yet?"

She didn't stay for an answer, but instead looked around for evidence. No one in the hallway or up the stairs. She turned toward me finally. "It's arranged. You're going away tomorrow morning with Ellie. To Miss Caroline's, she has an opening and can fit you in right away. You'll be there for three weeks. No need to pack anything. Ellie will take you there and leave you there. She'll be there herself often as part of the treatment, but otherwise she'll be working or else here with me. You'd better cooperate!"

I curtsied. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Not that it matters a whole lot! Miss Caroline has no problem getting people like you to cooperate. Then when you get back your boss tells me you'll soon be off doing those out-of-town site visits he's arranged. So Ellie and I will be rid of you either way. Become the best girl you can be, and maybe we'll let you live with us. Any erections today?"

"No ma'am."

"That's good! I thought those injections would take care of that little problem. Nip it in the bud." She smiled. "That's apparently what you're good at, I hear!"

"Ma'am?"

"Nipping buds! Clit nibbling! Miss Elaine told me this morning that last night you were quite satisfactory! I may want to wrap my legs around your head myself some time. Miss Elaine thinks you may have real talent that way! But don't let it give you any ideas!"

"No ma'am."

"I'll have my white wine, now."

"Yes, ma'am." I hurried to get it, pleased that Miss Rebecca was pleased, or at least not dissatisfied. I glanced at a mirror on my way back into the kitchen. My appearance was acceptable. Maybe that helped.

Two days earlier she'd been a lot less pleased, in fact she'd been downright antagonistic. When the doorbell rang, and Ellie turned to answer it, I waited in the living room to see if Rebecca would buy my hastily improvised notion, still holding my empty glass in my hand, the ice cubes now altogether melted. The whole trip down the hall to the front door, Ellie kept her head turned back toward me, watching to see if I was still serious, or if I was having second thoughts, or if I was already quailing at my own preposterous suggestion. Perhaps from sheer stubbornness, I wasn't. Just before opening the door she asked me again, "You're sure now! A girl!"

"Yes!" I said, loud and clear.

The two of them then stood by the front door talking in low voices for some time. I was delighted that I'd at least shaken them up

Then Rebecca came into the living room. I stood to meet her, and offered her my hand, a meaningless smile of hospitality fixed on my face. She just stood there in the middle of the room and looked at me. I put my hand down. Her expression approached a scowl.

"Well, Joseph, look what you've proposed," she said finally. "And Ellie likes the idea. So we have to deal with it seriously. Even though I don't believe for a moment that you're serious."

"Now Rebecca!" I tried to reassure her even though I myself still found the idea unsettling, absurd.

"No more until after we've eaten, and you've poured out some of that brandy of yours. Then we'll talk, and we'll find out if the brandy's still yours or if it's now Ellie's and mine! Because that's what you're proposing, you know. Among other things."

And she walked into the dining room, and sat down in my place at the table.

Conversation during dinner was spare, limited to trivial things, carefully evasive. Rebecca's new position and the hospital's policies, whether she'd want to stay when she'd reorganized them, the kinds of people she'd be working with, where the best supermarket in town was located, and the best wine store, and the best hairdresser. The small things that make up whole lives no one likes to think trivial. None of us dared hint at the topic on everyone's mind. We were being civilized. Rebecca twice began talking about people and places only she and Ellie had once known, but Ellie to her credit answered perfunctorily and brought the topic back to time present.

Then when we were each of us settled back into the living room, each with a snifter in one hand overfilled with cognac, Family Court came into session. Ellie sat on the couch with Rebecca, the judges and prosecutors. I sat facing them. Rebecca launched into me with no preliminaries. Right on target, too!

"Ellie, we both know what his purpose is here. To gain time to work on you, to try to take you away from me again. I can't have that! I won't have that! We're much more married than you and your 'Joey' here ever will be, much more closely bound together. Irreversibly! Forever! You know that, too. You can feel it too! And you're asking me to admit someone else into this union of ours merely because you're married to him? Out of pity?"

Rebecca seemed both furious and on the edge of tears. Ellie leaned forward and took both her hands and held them, and said not a word. She didn't have to. They did understand each other so well! She just looked steadily into Rebecca's eyes until Rebecca could recover herself. Only one sob escaped. Then a slight, grateful smile, through glistening eyes.

"All right, out of love too. He's a sweet man! He's a dear man! You say so, and I can believe it, though all I see is a wimp! But remember, he's a man! He has no obligations to me, or feelings for me. He can pretend to be a girl, I'm sure, and learn how to swish around the house in heels, and learn how to look halfway respectable wearing makeup, and try to persuade you that he's serious! He can even do some permanent things to his body, make some small gestures toward femininity in token of his sincerity, like get his ears pierced, and adjust his hormones to grow his own breasts and improve his figure and his disposition, things like that. Because he knows it would take things like that to begin to persuade me he's serious. He knows that whenever I look at him, nothing should ever remind me that I've somehow gotten myself involved with another man."

"But I'd still see him as a man, unless he was very, very good at his little deceptions! And I'd always feel insecure, always anxious that I was living with you on borrowed time. He'd be the snake in our little garden. He can say anything at all right now, but we all three know he can always back out of this thing he's proposing. At any time. No matter how skillful he becomes at persuading us, maybe even persuading himself that he's serious. He can always take up living like a man again any time. And I'd always worry that when he left he'd take you with him!"

"He wouldn't do that. Would you, Joey honey?"

Of course I would. That was exactly my intention. But they needed more persuasion. Rebecca did, anyhow. She was already boxing me in with more "gestures" and "tokens," than I wanted to deal with, and Ellie was going right along with her. It made me uneasy. Pierced ears, well, OK, no problem, holes grow in and leave only a dimple, and my hair covers my ears, anyhow. But hormones? That dyke wants me to grow breasts like hers, and maybe also fatten up my ass like hers? And Ellie has no objection to any of it? Well, OK, even hormones. I could stall, and anyhow, if I had to start taking their pills or whatever, they would take time to work. Months. Longer. And if it took me a year to wean Ellie away I supposed even breasts are removable with surgery, if I found I couldn't handle having them hang off me. I grinned, realizing that if I'd had breasts when we were married Ellie might have found me even more attractive than now, a man and a woman all wrapped up in one, the best of both of her worlds. Breasts might be an advantage to me, wooing Ellie back.

"Would you?" Ellie asked again. "Try to come between me and Becky?"

"No, of course not," I said. "I'd never want to do that!" Take Ellie back to be my lawful wedded wife again! Unthinkable! I tried to think of more clinchers, more reassurances I could offer them in addition to those Rebecca'd mentioned. What else? Flattery, certainly. "I'd be living with two beautiful women, one of them my wife. Why should I ever want to back out of an arrangement like that?"

Even Ellie wasn't persuaded by that, and she wanted to believe in my sincerity. It was a lecher's argument, not a nascent girl's. "Becky," she said hastily. "You know I'll never want to leave you again. But there are other ways we can discourage him from changing his mind. We can get his voice changed to a high register, so it sounds attractive as a woman's but silly as a man's. We can get him breast implants right off, not wait for his hormones to grow them. And while we're at it we could give him a really cute girly nose and chin -- I'd love that, and the chances are that then he'd never want to show his face to his friends again, looking like that. With a pretty face and pouty lips, the first thing those guys would think of whenever they saw him would be getting him on his knees and filling his mouth with their ...things. So it wouldn't do him any good to carry me off somewhere else! His old life would be over. He couldn't be my husband any more. We'd be two girls together!"

She looked at me, and then she let go of Rebecca's hands and took up mine. And pressed them into my lap. My crotch. Almost as if she wanted me to stroke myself! The weight of our hands together certainly caused a stirring. I tried to think of other things. This was not the right moment for a boner! I realized that in her sweet, conciliatory way, Ellie had just made it impossible for me to back out of this situation and still save face. Not my face the way it was. If the two of them arranged for every change Ellie had just offered up, we really would look like two girls together. Or very nearly. This was not too good!

"How about we castrate him?" Rebecca asked.

I lurched.

Rebecca noticed but went on. "That's irreversible. That would prove his sincerity, and reassure me. Then afterward, he'd have to take whatever kind of sex he could get from us. He'd be grateful we still wanted him! If we did." She grinned quickly, then said in a pointed, level voice, "I like that idea. We don't need his income. He could be our live-in eunuch! Take care of our house, and help dress you for your dates with those studs you'll want to bed down now and then! He could even be happy for you when you brought one home for the weekend! With no balls of his own he couldn't possibly be jealous of them! Could he?"

I knew I'd flinched visibly. Ellie's hands were holding mine firm in my lap, but she'd felt me instinctively clutch at my jewels. I sat very still, hoping that this latest proposal would evaporate into the air. No such luck.

"Becky, I wouldn't want my darling hurt, just because he loves me," Ellie said. She could feel my fright. "Aren't we asking enough from him? For now?"

Rebecca seemed to back down a little. Or maybe not. "We both love the same woman," she said. "I'm willing to try to like him, as long as he doesn't flaunt his male privilege in my face the way that bastard husband of mine did."

She paused and thought a moment, and a slow smile began to light up her face. For the first time, she scrutinized me seriously. Then she continued, "Well, we'll discuss it later, just the two of us. As long as Joseph really will become a woman like us! Nearly all the way may be far enough, we'll have to see! I can wait to cut his balls off, if he'll do whatever's otherwise necessary! I've got to say though, if he must compete with me for you, I'd rather have a level playing field, with no special jollies for you hanging down between his legs!"

She turned directly to Ellie and spoke from the heart. "Ellie, my darling Ellie. All I want is simple assurance that he isn't faking it. Is that too much to ask? To know that he's a man of his word. That he really means to become a woman of her word. That she really means it. That she's making an irreversible commitment to her new life with us. Is that too much to ask?"

Not so much her words, but her tone of voice unsettled me. She had my number all right. And Ellie knew it!

Now Rebecca leaned forward, and spoke quietly and rapidly to Ellie, all the while not once taking her eyes off me. Ellie glanced at me a few times as she listened and now and then nodded assent, anxiously, amusedly, reassuringly.

"I tell you what, Ellie. I'll set three conditions. First, we send your Joey here to Miss Caroline's Girls' School for three weeks of behavior modification. Just as soon as there's an opening. I'll phone her and see if maybe she can take him this weekend. Hypno-therapy, deep-reflex conditioning, and careful instruction in how to be a woman, how to dress and walk and so on so he won't disgrace us every time anyone looks at him. Caroline's very good with husbands who get volunteered to her establishment by their wives. I've seen some of them -- they come out more feminine than the women who sent them there, and then they stay that way! I'll pay for the treatments myself. Because if your husband is sincere, sweetheart, your happiness will be well worth the price. And if he isn't, well, he will be when Caroline finishes with him."

I tried to look at this woman with mild curiosity, as if I had understood nothing of what she had just said. But it was getting more and more frightening. Behavior modification? Did that mean I'd learn to be more gentle, less aggressive, more nurturing? That would be all right, I supposed. What more? Learn how to swing my hips when I walk ? No problem, I could do that! I'm sure Rebecca saw me still attempting not to understand, and failing. She smiled and kept looking straight at me.

"The second thing I want is his signature on a sheaf of blank surgical permissions. And a proxy. So he knows starting right now we're serious. So that as his wife you can approve whatever surgical procedures we think necessary, whatever he may think of them. Cut off his balls if he acts up, cut off his head too if he thinks he's getting away with anything. Caroline will need written consents anyway -- she doesn't like backlash when her clients finally wake up and realize what's been done to them. And we'll want it for the other things we've already mentioned, because he'll surely want to look pretty, with a pretty face and figure to flaunt at us. He can have such fun seducing his former buddies!" Now she glared at me. "I'm sure he'll want to do that!" she said.

It was a challenge. I ignored it. She saw, and for some reason that fact amused her. Her lips compressed satisfied, then she continued.

"Maybe he won't need a surgical castration. The hormones I'd use to wipe out his sperm and grow his tits would fry his balls anyhow, sooner than he might imagine. I do want him to know though that starting right now his balls are ours, not his. Mine, really, since you're probably feeling partial toward them. That his balls dangle where they are now or dangle from my rear-view mirror any time I want them to, at my whim. That he keeps them only if I'm persuaded that he doesn't want them, that they don't matter, that he doesn't care, they're a birth defect he'd just as soon see removed. If I'm persuaded that he's submitting to us for your benefit, not for his. If he knows that you're mine, not his, and that he's ours!"

This wasn't anything like the threesome I'd had in mind. At most, I meant maybe me in a nightgown and a dab of lipstick eating them both out while we all hugged and kissed, and me solicitous of my wife's every desire until her guilt became overwhelming and she rededicated herself to me and me alone. But now Rebecca had the ball and was running with it. With my balls too. When had I dropped it? Them?

"That sounds only fair," Ellie said. "Doesn't it seem fair to you, sweetheart?"

What could I say? I had to depend on Ellie to protect my essential manhood. She'd still want to have sex with me, that I knew. Maybe. So I nodded.

Rebecca continued. "Maybe if he's a really good girl we'll make him a real girl as a reward. Give him three places to enjoy himself with a fella, not just the two he's got now. The kind of special girl place we've got. Then his friends could call him a 'cunt' too, the way they call us 'cunts'. They do, don't they?"

I couldn't tell if she was serious or not when she said that. Me with a "fella"? She was needling me, becoming really unpleasant. Telling me I'd be a pervert! Again I didn't respond. Neither did Ellie. I hoped Rebecca was just being spiteful.

"One more thing I want," Rebecca said. I'd crossed some kind of border, apparently, because now for the first time she turned to talk to me directly. Now she could acknowledge my existence! "It's very simple. A show of good faith. A test. I want you to cross a point of no return right away. Tomorrow, if we can arrange it, and I think we can. That would begin to persuade me that all the work we'll need to invest in you might be worth the effort. You look to be about my dress size. About a 14 do you think, Ellie?"

"Just about, I think," Ellie replied. "He used to be an 18, almost a 20, but I've been bringing him down for some months now. We've both lost quite a bit of weight."

I looked at Ellie. I used to be an 18? When did she start thinking of me in women's dress sizes? I decided she was just translating my men's sizes into women's as she spoke, praising me to Rebecca in Rebecca's terms.

"Then tomorrow you'll start wearing women's clothes. We'll provide your starter set, Joseph," Rebecca said. "Until you can buy your own. You'll take tomorrow morning off from your office, so we can start you off right. Then you can go back to work tomorrow afternoon wearing a proper respectable three piece suit, the kind you usually wear to work anyhow."

Her previously skeptical smile began now to spread triumphantly across her face. She was enjoying herself! She'd won! She knew that her girlfriend, my wife, was agreeable to almost anything she proposed! My Ellie was hers! "A conservative business suit, Joseph, something that won't attract undue attention."

Then she stood up and leaned over me, and spoke crisply, defiantly, as if challenging me to protest, to find anything she was saying the least bit unacceptable. "But a woman's three-piece suit! Nothing flamboyant! Faux Chanel Jacket flared at the hips, cream silk blouse with a cute bow tie, a short gray skirt, dark stockings, low pumps, pearl accessories! I have just the outfit for you in my car, dearie, in your driveway this very moment. Or is it my driveway? Simple daytime makeup, nothing bold or dramatic, just eyes, cheeks, and lips. One of your wife's wigs, unless we can get your hair permed and styled and set to look respectably feminine." She looked it over critically. "I bet we can! You'll do fine, I think. You might even be passable, not that I care. You with me so far?"

I was too far gone not to be. I nodded.

"Then that's what you'll wear to your office tomorrow afternoon! Tomorrow and from now on! No gradual transition for you, Missy! Tomorrow you're irreversibly a man who's decided he'd rather be a woman, and you'll explain that to your colleagues, your secretaries, your clients, your supervisors, the janitor, everybody. Because that's what you are, aren't you? Isn't that what you're telling us?"

She waited. Ellie waited, concerned. I swallowed. Then nodded.

"If your boss wants to send you home because he hates faggots or he's transphobic, or if someone objects when you use the ladies' room -- and that's what you'll use starting tomorrow, and no other ever again! -- or if anyone objects for any other reason, well, that's their prerogative. You'll deal with it, lady! No compromises. Tomorrow I want you to deliver such an unforgettable shock to everyone that they'll all dash to their phones and their e-mails and send the news around the world, so an hour later everyone who ever knew you will know what you are. Everywhere!"

Now she looked maliciously gleeful! "You'll agree with me I'm sure that when everyone knows, you're a lot less likely to back away from our little arrangement and take Elaine with you, away from me. You'll already be someone else in everyone's mind, a laughingstock, a pussywhipped wimp, a queer clown, a brave transsexual woman, a sissy psychotic, who knows, but anyhow something you aren't now and will never be again, a man! Then as a woman, maybe your company can accept you and keep you on, every organization now and then finds they have a transgendered woman in their midst. But as a man, after tomorrow you'll be ludicrous. After tomorrow you'll have nowhere to go, will you? As a man, you'll be a traitor to your sex, a deserter, a failure, a loser!" She smiled sweetly at me. Smugly, too.

The woman was diabolical! I nodded, a knot forming in my stomach.

Did I really want this? No. Could I get out of it? It didn't seem so. Not and stay with my Ellie and keep my marriage going somehow, I couldn't. Did I want to? Already there was no way I could cut and run with any dignity or pretense of sincerity, not and keep any dregs of Ellie's respect. Certainly not after tomorrow. Was my marriage worth it? Which was worse, losing Ellie or losing my respectability? I loved Ellie. Despite everything! With all my heart. Life without Ellie was unimaginable!

"Isn't this wonderful?" Ellie said. "Now I won't have to leave you after all, sweetie. I can have my Becky and my Joey too! My 'Joey.' You'll need a new name, honey! We both want to forget that there ever was a 'Joey.' Joy! That's you! I'll have my dearest Joy living with me from now on! I'm so glad you thought of this, Joy darling! And offered yourself to us. You've made me so happy. Aren't you happy too? Tell me you are!"

She looked at me so anxiously I had to smile at her, to try to reassure her. I nodded.

"Tell her, Joy!" Rebecca was looking straight at me, and I saw that her smile had disappeared. "I want to hear it!"

"Yes, I'm happy too, Ellie," I said, my voice flat.

"You're happy, who?" Rebecca snapped. "'Ellie' is my name for her, just as 'Becky' is her name for me." Those are our private, intimate little names for each other. When you began to date her way back, and you began to call her 'Ellie,' I couldn't say anything about it. Not back then. But now I can. From now on, Joy, you'll call her 'Elaine'! That's her name. Isn't it, Ellie?"

Ellie nodded. I mean Elaine. She was looking at me encouragingly, and I'd like to believe a little sadly. But I couldn't tell.

"Say it, Joy precious!" No question, Rebecca's tone was threatening.

"I'm happy we can still live together, Elaine," I said.

"No, let's make that 'Miss Elaine'! And I'm 'Miss Rebecca' when you address me. You are not on a first name basis with either of us! Not yet!"

It was a rending moment for me. Like a divorce! Rebecca came between us and spoke, and now we were no longer a couple. But then, wasn't that was what Ellie had told me anyhow, just before dinner? Wasn't that why we were now a threesome, because I'd thought a threesome preferable to nothing? Not exactly a threesome like this though.

"Miss Elaine," I repeated. "Yes, Miss Rebecca!"

Rebecca disappeared for a moment, then came back carrying a pad of legal-looking documents and a pen. "The surgical proxies," she said. "Standard doctor's equipment. Never leave home without them!" I signed a few. She witnessed them. Then she handed them to Elaine, Miss Elaine (no, to me in my own mind she'll always be 'Ellie'), Ellie also witnessed them. Then Ellie disappeared with them into our study and came back without them.

"Nicely done, Ellie," Rebecca said when Elaine had sat down again, this time in a chair opposite both of us. "Cued beautifully. And it's all his idea, you heard him, and now it's signed and sealed, so now he's responsible for everything that happens next"

Elaine stood up and leaned over and actually kissed Rebecca! On the mouth! "Love will always find a way," she replied. "Thanks, honeybuns, for giving this a chance to work! I really didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lose him, but I never thought he'd propose this, much less agree to it! He really did reach for every hint I threw at him! He's so sweet! I do love him, you know. And now I really do owe you!"

"No problem, Ellie darling. Though remember my own purposes. I do mean to collect from you, sweetheart! Beginning now! Awww, look at him! He has no idea what we're talking about!"

While I was working out what they might have meant by that, Rebecca stood also, produced a hypodermic out of nowhere, pinched up skin on my wrist, and gave me a swift shot. "Just a tranquillizer for now, Joy, baby," she said. "Mostly for Ellie's sake. Miss Elaine to you! She'll feel so much better knowing you're not troubled by our sleeping arrangements tonight. Or by anything, from now on. And her happiness is everything to me. Just as it should be for you, but we can't really trust that it is, yet, can we? Just sit still now and feel peaceable, and then you can go to bed any time you like. In whichever spare bedroom."

She was right. I sat still and felt increasingly satisfied with the way things were turning out. It wasn't too bad. It could have been a lot worse. It wasn't bad at all. I still had what I wanted. I watched quietly as Rebecca and Elaine talked together in voices too low for me to make out, touching each other and giggling, my wife glancing casually over at me now and then. They were now old, familiar friends who enjoyed each other's company. It was so nice, seeing two women who felt that close. Which was why they hugged each other on their way upstairs. Loving friends. Girls together. Was that a twinge of jealousy I felt? No, envy! I wanted to be one too! A girl, like them! To belong, to be one of them! Well, that was certainly what Rebecca had in mind for me. Pussy and all, she wanted me to think! She was joking. I hoped so, anyway.

I just sat and watched then, feeling warm toward them both. They paused in the hall at the top of the stairs, in front of the door to our master bedroom, then turned toward each other with their arms wrapped around each other possessively. It felt to me like a sacred moment. So very sweet! Like newlyweds poised on the threshold of a bridal chamber! My Miss Elaine looked into her Becky's eyes with such tender affection! And her Becky so very gently took my wife's head into both her hands and pulled her face close, and kissed the tip of her nose so very delicately. They were both about the same height. They looked so serenely happy together! A matched pair! Then they kissed each other with real feeling, their soft lips pressing together. It was so beautiful, two women kissing, their faces melting into each, neither dominating, each yielding to the other. Elaine then pulled her Becky closer, and their kisses grew more heated, passionate, their mouth moving as if they wanted to swallow each other. They reached to touch the tips of each other's nipples. I sat and watched. Their bodies writhed into tight intimacy.

Then they broke off, breathing hard, and began to pull each other into the bedroom. Each glanced down toward me. Rebecca grinned at me. Elaine tilted her head back and smiled, signalling to me how pleased she was. Was that smile also a little mischievous? Did she purse her lips just then to blow me a kiss? To reassure me? To mock me? They slipped into our bedroom and shut the door. I looked at the closed door. Their bedroom.

After a moment, I got up and went upstairs myself, into one of the spare bedrooms, and fell onto one of the beds the two of them had used during Rebecca's previous visits here, probably. At least Ellie and I were still together here in the same house. Miss Elaine and I still shared our lives. I thought I'd better think up a way out -- this situation was way out of control. But then I fell asleep, out like a light, with nothing left to think about.
 
 
iii.
 
 
When I woke up I felt mellow, at peace with myself and snug in the world around me. I looked about and saw that the world was a spare bedroom with yellow sunlight streaming onto candystriped wallpaper walls. Our spare bedroom, for guests. Then I remembered everything else. Maybe it was a residual effect of the tranquillizer Rebecca had given me, or maybe it was usual for me, but I found I was thinking of my new situation calmly and systematically, without anger or anxiety. There were a series of problems to be solved, that was all. One set emerged from my need to share Elaine with Rebecca for the time being, and to be content with whatever the scraps and leavings of our loving relationship. Well, for the time being that was unavoidable. I could handle it. More immediately, I remembered, this afternoon they meant for me to go to the office dressed like a woman. I'd look like a freak! I hadn't bargained for that when I'd proposed to Ellie that I become one of the girls! I'd meant to pretend to be a woman in bed, or maybe around the house! But Rebecca hadn't fallen for that dodge, and now I had very little choice. How could I get out of this one? Stall. Talk Elaine out of it. Slow the pace on this first morning of the rest of my life.

As I headed out the door and down the hall to the guest bathroom I found that Elaine was up and already waiting for me. She was already fully dressed and made up for her day at her own office. She looked really good, too!

"There you are, honey, I was about to wake you! Shower and shave quickly now. Shave off all your body hair I mean, as best you can, because I've phoned Francesca for an appointment for you. In two hours it's scheduled. Becky's agreed, we don't want you to show up at your office your very first day looking like some halfback in drag. You'll need to look like a presentable woman right off, or they won't take you seriously. So I've phoned them for you and told them to cancel your morning appointments, that you'll be a few hours late."

I just stood there. Her face was glowing and her eyes were bright, and she seemed somehow...satisfied. This past night with Rebecca had certainly agreed with her! I was glad she was happy, but my heart sank just a little. A woman who's just been with another woman is still, well, womanly, I tried to remember. Being together heightens their femininity I guessed. It wasn't as if she's been unfaithful, I tried to remind myself, as if she'd spent the night with another man. She might yet, but I'd deal with that issue in good time. I had no reason to feel jealous, not yet.

"Ellie," I started to say, and paused. I wanted to ask her flat out to stop playing this game with me now. We had to come to our senses! But there she was, lively, alert, serenely self-assured, and I realized that to her it wasn't a game.

"Hush, sweetie! Don't let Becky hear you call me that, or she'll want to punish you some way, and I don't want to see that happen. I'm 'Miss Elaine' now, remember? In fact, we talked about it last night and decided that I'll be 'Miss Elaine'to you from now on no matter what. To help you remember that I'm not your Mrs. any more. That for the time being we're not even social equals." She smiled her cute, dazzling smile at me, and my heart swelled. "I must say, when you call me that, honey, it sounds a lot more respectful. I kind of like it! It makes it much easier for me to order you around!"

Not my own wife's social equal, my former wife's, nor Miss Rebecca's social equal either, I was thinking. This was hardly a level playing field. I tried again. "Elaine," I said. "Miss Elaine!" I reached for an argument. "Don't you think...?"

But I saw in her eyes that she was beyond argument. There was nothing I could say. "Who's Francesca?" I finished weakly. "What appointment?"

"My hairdresser at the Cut'n Curl Salon. You'll love what she can do, she works miracles! I've told her we want you to look like a serious professional woman, but pert and pretty too, attractive to your male associates but not intimidating. Nice. Becky agrees that if Joy's a cutie from the start there'll be less chance that she'll seem an embarrassment to the firm and find herself downsized out of a job. In fact, if she's pretty, there'll always be work for her in a large firm. You see, honey, we want you to keep working for the present, for your own self-respect, even though Becky and I earn more than enough for the three of us. You'll tend the house for us when you aren't out of town on business, true, but you'll need other interests too. To mix with the other girls at the office. The more people you meet when you're being a girl, the more girl you'll become. The sooner you'll get used to it and begin to like it. The less time you'll have to brood about me and Becky, if you understand what I mean. The sooner you'll develop a life of your own, maybe even a sex life of your own. That's why we want you to look pretty! Then after your surgery, when you're a real girl, you'll already know all about it. Especially about guys."

"Surgery?" I asked. "Guys?"

"Yes, of course," she said. "Oh, I do hope you turn out to be bi-sexual, like me, and not a singleminded Lesbian like Becky. Girls are wonderful, we both know that, but guys are so special! They can be so good for a girl's morale. There'll be times now and then when you feel down and need cheering up. This is a change of life for you, after all. Your hormones'll make for mood swings, and you'll be getting other kinds of new, exciting feelings too, you know, honey? Yearnings you won't understand at first, until one day you see someone, and ... well, when that happens, you'll find guys can be wonderful! There've been times when I've felt really low, you know? And you've been busy at work. Or maybe I've been away alone on business or at a convention. And I've needed to feel reassured that I'm still an attractive woman, and ...." She paused, and seemed to realize that this kind of dishy girl talk might distress me. "Well, sometimes a flirtation with the right guy at the right time can make a big difference," she finished. "You'll see."

I was shocked by what she'd almost said. "What? Ellie? Do you mean to say...."

She realized she'd said too much. So her tone shifted, and she whiplashed me with a ferocity that pushed whatever I'd been thinking clear out of my head.

"*Miss* Elaine to you! No, Joy, I don't mean to say anything! Not about me, I didn't! And if I did, it has nothing to do with you! You have no claims on me. You aren't my husband any more, remember? I don't know what you are yet, apart from a man who says he wants to be a girl so he can live with me and my sweetheart Becky! So get into that bathroom right now, *Miss* Joy! Time is running out! Do you hear me!?"

Each word was stern, loud, and emphatic. I did what I was told.

As I turned on the shower she continued to speak loudly to me through the glass doors, but now I suspect to distract and reassure me. "Use those razors! Shave off all that hair on your chest and arms and legs! You can leave a little bikini tuft around your prick if that would please you!" Then, "Honey, when I spoke to your secretary a little bit ago, I told her about your decision, how you'd look when you came in later today, so she could be properly supportive. She was so fascinated! She said she'll be delighted to help. She said you've always been a nice man, and now she expects you'll be a nice woman too! I told her to let the word out, so no one will be shocked when they see you. She said she will. She's even going to get you a birthday cake, so all the girls in your office can celebrate that you're born again today as what you've been all along, one of them. I know Becky wanted everyone to be shocked when they saw you, and a little mocking too, but this accomplishes the same thing I think, and it'll be much easier for you. It's sort of nice, in fact. A coming out party!"

"They know? You've already committed me to this?" I asked. "At my own office?"

"No, dummy, you committed yourself to it, last night." Her voice then softened. "I'm helping you, honey. You have a lot to learn."

I emerged from the shower hairless, feeling naked as a billiard ball. Rebecca was now standing with my wife, wrapped loosely in a pale beige silk dressing gown. "Well, look at you, Joy. Neat and clean I see. I see too that you've got nothing much to hide. Ready to be pretty? Your clothes are laid out on your bed."

I saw no need for her sarcasm, but I realized that from her point of view I'd always been the intruder. She'd always resented me. She'd hoped that this time I'd give up Elaine without a struggle, and it wasn't happening. So I knew I had to watch her. She was going to try to make it happen.

"Thank you, Miss Rebecca," I said, matching her tone with mine.

"Oooh, I like that, Joy! 'Miss Rebecca!' Yes! That's what I am, girly! That and 'ma'am.' Understood?"

"Yes ma'am." I felt chastened. Thus much for my rebellion.

"Splash this cologne on yourself, honey," Elaine said. "And into your room with you. I'm pretty sure my old bras and panties'll fit you for now, I mean the ones from before we both lost weight. They're yours from now on. Some are so pretty! I know you'll always want to feel more daring underneath than anyone would ever guess. Every girl has a secret life. I've had one. I'll bet you've never seen some of the really sexy things I wear when I want to feel special! Well, all of them're yours now! You can have a secret life too now!"

I went into my new room with her. She was right, she'd laid out some incredibly fancy lingerie in rich shades and tones. I couldn't remember ever seeing her wear anything so provocative. A pair of panties looked flimsy enough to fall apart, but when I touched them they felt remarkably sturdy. Like women, I thought, smooth and delicate and seemingly fragile, but in fact solid, built to last, stubborn. "Here, hon," she said, picking up a flower-lacy longline bra. "We'll begin with this." She smiled warmly at me! "This is so exciting! The first bra of the rest of your life!"

An hour later I was dressed for work, and felt very odd, trussed in and gussied up. "From now on, sweetheart," Elaine told me as she hooked and clipped and buttoned and zipped me in, "You'll do this yourself. You're a big girl now!"

A bra was snugged tightly along my chest and two large silicone breasts hung heavily from the shoulder straps. I felt elongated in front, and the fake breasts thrust awkwardly even further forward when I stood up in my clunky high heels. My torso was swathed in a smooth nylon slip Rebecca had contributed, satin frothed with lace. My pinstriped businesswoman's suit, also Rebecca's though it seemed a little large for her, pinched in at the waist, creating an illusion that I had hips, then it flared out over a skirt that ended flirtatiously several inches above my knees. And there I was. Elaine draped a thin gold chain around my neck, then leaned over and teased and moussed my hair up to resemble a kind of mod hairdo. She then swiped some eye shadow, mascara, and lipstick on me, and finished by dashing a soft brush across my cheeks.

She looked me over critically, as one woman does another. "Well, you're not my man any more, that's certain! A pity. I loved him. Still do." Then with a certain concern in her voice, "Are you sure you want to do this, honey? I can always go off with Becky and...."

"Yes!" I said, almost shouting to overcome the fleeting doubts in my own mind. I must look ridiculous, I thought. But I won't let her escape!

"Well, this'll get you there, sweetie. You look darling, don't worry about anything. Here's where you go. 'Cut'n Curl' and ask for Francesca. Keep this card safe in your purse. O yes, here's your purse. Your wallet's in it already, with your keys, and some other things you'll need today. I have to get to work now, Joy, I'm running behind! You'll tell me all about it tonight?"

I felt terrified! "You're not coming with me!?"

"Snookums wants her mamma? Don't be silly, Joy. If you're a girl now, you're a girl, in your case a girl who really needs the makeover we've ordered up for you. From a distance you look quite nice. Take short steps and hold your elbows close to your sides and don't say anything if you can help it. Not too many people will snicker or smirk when they see you. But if they do, ignore them. Rude people always make remarks when women pass by."

For a moment she actually looked sympathetic. "This isn't my idea, honey, remember that. It's yours. I wanted a clean break, goodbye, thanks for the marriage, and stay in touch. Though I am glad it's working out this way instead. Because I never did want to lose you!"

She took my hand and looked into my mascara'd eyes. "Oh, honey! It's never easy, and it won't be. So go and for now enjoy being pampered. Girls do. I can't wait to find out how your day goes. Remember your mistakes, if you can, so later on Miss Caroline can help you correct them when she teaches you how to be a real lady."

Rebecca now appeared fully dressed in the hallway, wearing a suit and blouse and heels much like mine. "You're ready to go, Becky?" Ellie asked.

"I think so, darling," Rebecca replied lazily. "You know, Ellie, he does look ridiculous. A man in a dress! How could you have ever wanted to marry this clown? I myself don't mean to get it on with men ever again, though I can understand how your feelings are different. And in fact I really can admire men who look like men, a man who's just what he is, no apologies. But your 'Joy' here isn't what he is. Just look at him! He isn't anything!"

At first Elaine didn't answer. Then "He looks cute, Becky. Not at all ridiculous. And you know that!"

Rebecca rolled up her eyes and shrugged.

"He's doing this for me, Becky," Elaine then said. "And that's something, I think! Something I admire a lot!"

Good answer! I thought.

"We'll see," Rebecca replied shortly. "I called his office just after you did. His boss was once a patient of mine, did you know that? Joy here now has three weeks'leave to attend Miss Caroline's School, maybe as soon as this weekend. Three weeks of intensive conditioning and training. 'Compassionate leave' is what your boss granted you, Joseph, though 'pathetic leave' would be closer to the truth, if you want to know. Anyhow, Ellie, so as far as his office is concerned, he's set up after tomorrow for however long it takes. Then I called Miss Caroline to let her know how we'll want him...ah... redesigned. I've arranged things there too. Joy here is about to become more of a girl than he ever dreamed he'd be when he volunteered to stay here with us and wrestle me for your affections! Irreversible femininity, that's what we've promised him, right? And he's agreed to it! No, not agreed -- he's asked for it! Just wait!"

The two of them then left without looking back at me, though each of the women raised a hand and rotated a wrist in farewell. "See you tonight, honey," Elaine called out, no doubt as last-minute encouragement. "Enjoy!"

Well, the day went better in some ways than I'd expected, but also a lot worse. A lot of it was humiliating. But with some surprises.

First, what I saw in the front hall mirror as I left the house was a terribly nervous man wearing a skirt, makeup, and teased-up hair. Out the door I went, trying not to see if any of the neighbors saw me. I drove to my appointment at the "Cut'n Curl" beauty salon, and nervously walked in.

And no one noticed or cared. I began to feel...ordinary. A woman walked up and looked at me and said, "O yes, you're Joy, Elaine's told me all about you, don't worry about a thing! I'm Francesca!" She took off my suit jacket and sat me down, and draped a salmon colored sheet over me, and called in an army of women to work me over. Everyone seemed so matter-of-fact I lost all semblance of nervousness. I even dozed a bit.

Three hours later I'd been waxed, plucked, pierced, dyed, coated, twisted, and teased, Francesca assured me, into a semblance of what Elaine wanted, a cute professional woman, capable but unthreatening. Meanwhile she kept up a constant patter, telling me how to talk, and walk, and smile at other women, and avoid eye contact with other men, what she called her minimal survival kit for the girl she was making me. "I don't want to see you get in trouble," she said. "Being a girl is the most wonderful thing in the world! Really! You should enjoy it! I do!"

She then told me things she enjoyed most about being a girl, sex with men being the most prominent. She spared me no details. I tried not to listen, but my eyes were closed, and as she talked her words projected a pornographic movie onto my eyelids. I'd never seen the underside of my own erect cock, nor any other man's, but after a while I could see each vein and bump and ripple of the half a dozen she described to me, including her husband's and her two current boyfriends'. I also heard her graphic descriptions of how each cock felt when she was sucking and licking and sliding her lips along it, how and where she'd done it, and the special delights of nipping it with her teeth. "They get scared when they feel teeth," she informed me. "I like them to feel a little bit scared. Then they know who's in charge."

Then, "You do know, sweetie, that we don't really blow them," she disclosed as she wrapped my hair in rollers for the third time, or maybe the fourth. "Not like balloons! They can get plenty big enough, those pricks, some of them, without our trying to blow them up bigger! But I did once get a guy to cum by giving him a real blow-job! Really! I breathed moist air from my mouth into that purple helmet head they have, you've seen it haven't you? I blew gently into it, into the little hole they have there, and his thing got more and more purple, and then suddenly it squirted all over my face. And my mouth never touched him once! He was watching, and just that drove him crazy!"

"Are men ever in charge when you go down on them, Francesca?" I asked her as two women did something I couldn't see to my nails. When Ellie'd gone down on me, I'd always thought of it as subservience, and was always a little embarrassed for her. A college graduate with two Master's degrees, running her mouth up and down my penis! But this girl-talk was a revelation.

"Of course not," Francesca replied, touching something to my eyelids. "Are they ever? They're way too eager when the surf's up inside them and they're thinking only with their little heads. You can make them do anything! I can keep a man servicing me eagerly half the night with a little touch here and a tickle there, as long as I don't let him cum. I'll go down on them to reward them, now and then, especially those who perform toilet services in order to please me. They're always so pathetically grateful! You'll see!"

Francesca was talking to me as if I weren't a man but an inexperienced woman! Didn't she know? But it didn't matter now. I suppose now I was one of the girls as far as they were concerned. One of the manicurists working on my fingertips began to describe how she teases her husband relentlessly to keep him in line, a hulking brute, she was saying, with a teeny cock compared to the one his best friend offers her now and then. "You know how I deal with his teeny cock problem?" she asked, then volunteered an answer. "Bubble wrap inside two condoms! Then he can't hardly get it into me, but when he does I feel so stuffed all I can do is I shriek and shriek, God, the good feeling that gives me! I soak him and the bed both! And the funny part is, he can't feel a thing the whole time! He gets off by watching me get off, the poor dumb dear! For a special treat on his next birthday I'm going to let him watch while his best buddy gets me off. The way that man moves and gets me moving, my big little hubby'll cream in his jeans without even touching himself!"

She was rearing back to say much more, but Francesca touched and sprayed me once more and then told me I was done.

"I hope you don't mind," she said. "Where I could I used dyes and stains on your face, not waxes and creams. It isn't permanent make-up, exactly, but it won't smear, and it'll look presentable for a few weeks I should think. Maybe a month or two. You can use ordinary makeup over it if you wish, but for now it'll be easier for you not to have to worry about things like that. It won't wash off, for sure!"

It won't?! I looked at myself in a salon mirror, stunned! I hadn't bargained for this! Somewhere down below my neck was Joseph, almost altogether hidden. But above, I saw a total stranger! No question of it, female! My hair was now streaked blonde and ash, and it formed a curly halo around my head and over my ears. "Just towel dry it after every shampoo, honey," Francesca told me. "And that hairdo will take care of itself. They won't come out no matter what! Those curls are you!"

My eyes looked huge in my face, like a doll's or a little girl's, and they sparkled seductively through smoky shadows and long black lashes. My red cupid-bow lips made pretty mouees whenever I opened them -- I seemed perpetually to be kissing something. My fingernails extended red and oval and gleaming, smooth jewels on my fingertips. And my chin, never exactly square and determined, instead rather pointed and a little small, was now almost pixie-like. Simple gold hoop earrings hung from wires visibly penetrating my earlobes, and they matched a cascade of gold necklaces descending from the collar of my blouse.

I looked maybe even a little overdone as a woman, but no way was I a man. That was reassuring -- at least I wasn't going to attract casual mockery. Leers, maybe -- in fact I aroused me a little myself. There reflected back was an unfamiliar available woman I knew intimately as me. It was exciting. Yet despite being inside her I was still faithful to my wife. As if that mattered now, I then thought ruefully. Well, it did, I replied to myself sternly!

In fact I wasn't sure what kind of a professional woman I resembled -- I looked to me like an office bimbo. What had Elaine ordered up? "Cute, attractive, and not intimidating." That's what she got I guess.

When Francesca finally released me early that afternoon she said simply. "Joy honey, when your wife sees you she's going to want to eat you up. And you'll eat her in sheer gratitude. And that's what this is all about, isn't it?"

I smiled at her, I hoped prettily, and told her in the sweet, squealy, breathy voice she'd had me practicing all morning, "I expect so, honey! Oh, I do hope so." Our real situation was a little too embarrassing to explain.

"That's my girl," she replied. "A little more lilt, and finish everything you say with that vulnerable smile, just that way -- it's so adorable!" And then she kissed me on the lips! "It won't smear or come off," she said, holding my shoulders and then leaning in for another reassuring peck. "I've made your face as thoroughly pussy-proof as cosmetics allow! If you doubt me, just say so right now and we'll arrange a test. It's cock-proof too, if your taste runs the way your wife's does, and she's willing to share some of her fun with you. The way you look now she'd better, because her men aren't going to leave you alone. Practice your talking and walking the rest of the day, honey. That's the only part that can still give you away. Until you let someone get into your panties, that is. I'll see you in a month when you come in for a retouch. "

"Thank you, Francesca," I said, and stepped off briskly on my moderate-height heels, allowing a slight swing in the hips. What was that about my wife sharing her fun with men? I decided Francesca was just speculating aloud, reassuring me that I looked good enough not to embarrass myself, flattering me that now I was attractive even to my own sex. I suppose I was. Like Ellie, Francesca seemed to think I'd be getting interested in men. A natural enough assumption for a woman to make. But I'd never had ambitions that way! The thought revolted me! I was amused to think that as far as looks and desire matched up, I was more like Rebecca, a Lesbian.

My secretary Margaret didn't recognize me at all when I arrived dolled up the way I was. Or she pretended she didn't. I asked for myself. She consulted her appointment book and told me that I'd have to wait, because I hadn't arrived yet though I was due in soon. I smiled, and just looked her in the eye and kept smiling. Then she broke her calm demeanor and smiled back in delight, as if genuinely surprised that this woman come to call on me was me! Or so it seemed!

"Joe? Really? Is that you? Your wife told me what to expect, but I had no idea! That's impressive! You're lovely! Really! I love your hairdo! You're really going all the way?"

She came around her desk and for the first time in our relationship she gave me a big hug and a firm kiss, woman to woman. I was so grateful for this gesture that my heart swelled up and I hugged her back just as affectionately, and tears started to my eyes. I suppose she thought that now there'd be no way I could misunderstand her gesture, since women hug all the time, and now that's what I was. For all the desperate anxiety and fear of humiliation I'd been going through, neither my wife nor her lover had moved to touch me since this began, much less hug and kiss me. And they were the women closest to me! My gratitude toward Margaret grew stronger.

But she did misunderstand what was happening! Ellie -- I wanted to think "Miss Elaine" to avoid trouble, but I couldn't just yet -- my wife had told Margaret that I was a lifelong transsexual woman finally being true to herself. She knew full well that I was only a loving and desperate husband, just as I knew full well that I was also a calculating schemer. Or trying to be a calculating schemer, not too successfully. Just look at me, I thought.

Margaret kept up a confused patter to cover her uncertainty about the new me. "I'd never have dreamed you were...! Do you like boys, too, like the rest of us? Most of us? Men, I mean, I forget we aren't high school girls now together, are we, chatting about boys? You missed so much back then, Joe, trying to be a boy when you were really a girl the whole time! Well, but now it's done, isn't it, you're a woman and you're still you! All still there? For the time being? You're a lot prettier!" She began to remember herself, and started back behind her desk. "And you're still my boss, ah, Joy, now, aren't you! Now I have a lady for a boss! That'll take some getting used to." Settling down, she beamed up at me. "I wish you'd told me before about your secret feelings earlier, Joy. Maybe I could have helped?"

"Maybe," I said in the glissando voice Francesca had prescribed for me, managing to cover more than an octave with those two syllables.. "Is Gary in?" Gary was our division manager, my boss. I was Margaret's.

"He sure is, Joy, and waiting for you. But so's everyone else. C'mon this way, boss!" She grinned and started down the hall toward the meeting room we also reserved as coffee and lunch space.

When I walked in, everyone from the division was assembled there, and they stood and applauded. Not all, some men and a woman I knew from Accounting looked disgusted, and others kept their peace, but most of my associates approved, and some were enthusiastic! I felt like such a fraud! But to them I was genuine enough, and I myself couldn't say where this was in fact leading! Cries of "I didn't believe it when they told me!" and "Why, you're pretty!" and "I've gotta say this, Joe, you've got guts!" and "Well, I'd better watch out for my boy friend!" rang out from all over, people trying to

make me feel good that I was a man wearing a dress and makeup, or as they'd been told, that I was a woman in a man's body now finally trying to correct nature's mistake.

I really did appreciate the good feeling they were expressing. I knew that much of it was for me, not for doctrinal correctness. I was a well-liked associate and a good boss, caring and fair-minded. But their sincere good wishes made me feel all the more uneasy. I was only a man in love with his wife and trying to keep her by playing the only cards he held in his hand, also trying to retain some self-respect against fearful odds. So far, throwing more and more of me into the pot to keep up the gamble! These were people who seemed to care about me, and I was deceiving them! So where was my self-respect?

"Got a minute, Joseph? I'm going back to my office now, too much work, but be sure to stop by and see me before you leave for the day. You've given me a first-rate idea!"

"You bet!" I said in my man's voice, in a reflexive response to Gary's, my boss's. I spun on one of my heels to face him, and nearly lost my balance. Flustered, I looked up at him and tried to apologize, and realized that I was only waving my hands and wrists meaninglessly and no sounds were coming out of my mouth. My cupid-bow mouth must have looked very odd! So did I!

"You're very pretty...Joy!" Gary added. "Your wife will be lucky to have you around sharing her interests. So would some men, too, if you're inclined that way."

"I'm not," I said, again too quickly. "I'm a one woman man!"

"Don't you mean a one woman woman? I think you've forgotten there's no need to pretend any more, Joy. You're a woman from now on in this office, and don't let anyone think otherwise! That is, when you get back from this three-week leave you'll be starting in a day or so."

"Thank you," I said, more softly, in a higher voice. He was talking policy, business, I heard it in his tone of voice. A personnel matter he wanted to make sure I understood perfectly. This certainly wasn't the moment for me to explain to him what I was really doing.

"Well, we still need to talk," he said. "Enjoy yourself, Joy, and stop by on your way out!" And he was gone.

It seems that everyone left early after the party, and as people drifted away I began thinking about the best way for me to tell my boss about my actual predicament. When it was appropriate I thanked Margaret for setting everything up and left the meeting room. I was thinking that any properly qualified transsexual would think he'd died and gone to heaven if he came out of the closet here. Or she would when she came out. That made it harder still that I was a fake. I went directly to Gary's office and found he was indeed going over a mountain of work on his desk. He looked up.

"Yes, Joy! Close the door, I need to talk to you confidentially."

I did. Now the bullshit ends, I thought. He's going to fire me.

"I'm glad you're a now a woman," he said immediately, looking at me over the stacks of papers and blueprints on his desk. "Our firm has designed and built lots of these shopping malls in our time." He gestured toward stacks of files on his desk. "And you've been invaluable, tracking us through the processes, the contracts and permissions and licenses and so forth, in a dozen different States and juridictions, saving me from any number of mistakes."

"Thank you," I said, lilting and lisping and babydollying all at once. "That's really sweet!" I took myself in hand. Why did I say a dumb come-on thing like that when I meant to square with him about what I was really doing?

He smiled at me. "Your Doctor called me, Dr. Lander, Rebecca Lander, a dear friend of your wife's she says, and we've had a long talk about you. Did you know she once treated me when she was a resident at the University Medical Center? Brilliant woman! Well, the upshot is, Joy, when you get back from this three week re-orientation your doctor's ordered up, I'll want you to take to the road. We need to survey the malls we've built, find out how our original planning works nowadays, how they've modified them. You'll need to roam them all, and talk to all of their managers, and a lot of the store managers too. As a woman, you're ideally qualified to find out how women really feel about shopping in them. How we can satisfy their needs better. For example, do women want more private places to ...ah...meet people and socialize away from home, and be more...ah... feminine, if you know what I mean. Should we include Inns and Motels in our malls? Short term rest areas where a woman can ... lie down and relax for a few hours away from their homes and their domestic obligations? Should we build in exercise rooms with special equipment for couples with...special tastes? Plan to find the answers deep down in your own feminine needs. The managers will be happy to help you delve, I'm sure."

He was serious! "Gary," I said, concerned, my voice high. "That's almost thirty malls, in almost as many cities! A site visit survey like that will take months! It's much better done by mail and fax, with phone followups, and visit only the most interesting.. And besides, I'm new to this thing, to being a woman. I've never ever shopped in a mall as a woman. Or anywhere else!"

He smiled. "Honey, I know. That's why you'll do it so well, -- no presuppositions, no bad habits. It's all new to you! Dr. Lander tells me that this decision of yours was so sudden that you literally haven't a thing to wear. Well, good! You'll have a lavish expense account of course. To buy everything you need, from hats to boots, from bras to topcoats, from ...ahh tampons to lipsticks! That way you'll know what it's like at first hand. Dr. Lander tells me you're eager to explore your femininity, to gain experience as a woman. So you'll want to test out everything you buy on the managers you'll be ...ahhh... interviewing. I'll expect it!"

He smiled, and then as if it were a searchlight Gary suddenly turned his enormous charm on me! I felt blinded! I'd seen him do it before, with women clients, and most of the time they'd then stayed late in his office to confer more extensively, or else they'd left his office early with him to go confer somewhere else. The sonofabitch knew he was handsome. His teeth gleamed and his eyes crinkled as he leaned forward. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, Joy? A lovely woman like you? To buy whatever delights you, and try them out on men who are eager to please you? To learn what pleases them?"

What was he talking about? Was he putting the make on me himself?

He leaned back again. "I figure it'll take three months at least, but with time off between trips you won't be away from your desk more than a few weeks at a time. That's a long time to be away from home and your lovely wife, I know. But that's what the doctor ordered. She told me you'll need to be doing women's work in women's spaces where no one knows you're not a woman. So you can get accustomed to the way women think. Feel the way women feel. Separate yourself from your old habits, from people who know you were once a man. Forget you were ever a man!"

His smile became a confidential leer for a moment. "Dr. Lander also tells me your marriage vows are no longer relevant. That even though you're a one-woman woman, you'll need lots of opportunity to get to know men, to see how you feel about them without anyone in this town ever knowing. That you'll want to practice being attractive to men, and satisfying them."

Rebecca had schemed this! First she was taking me away from my home and my wife for weeks to attend this Miss Caroline's School, and now she was arranging for me to be no more than an occasional visitor in my own home when I returned! To be perverted into some kind of slut seducer of men, To move me as far as possible away from the person Elaine fell in love with and married! So all my overtures and sacrifices in order to stay with Elaine -- just look at me now, I was thinking, where's my manhood now -- all this has been meaningless! Pitiable!

I'd resign first!

I was about to say so when Gary suddenly stood up and moved over to the leather couch along one wall and sat down comfortably, arms stretched out along the back. "What you learn about these malls by being a woman who shops them, Joy, will be invaluable to us. But your Doctor cautioned me you might be reluctant to take it on. That you need to know you really can identify with women, and do the things women do. That you probably still feel competitive with men, more inclined to test and check them than to please yourself by pleasing them. And most of the mall managers you'll work with are men. She told me you'll need to break down your masculine reserve, so what might seem to be servile and humiliating if you were a man will instead feel like a delightful way for you to get what you want. Even to get what you want from me. Such as the three weeks of paid leave we've been discussing."

I thought of Francesca's comment, that a man getting a blow job is easily led anywhere. But he was leading me into giving him a blow job! Was he saying that I have to pay him off with a blowjob because he's granted me paid leave so Rebecca could brainwash me for three weeks?

"She also told me that I'll need to test out for myself how sincere you are about this femininity of yours, since I'm expecting to build a future with this company for you on the assumption that deep inside you're now a woman. She was wondering whether you're dressed the way you are not because you're transgendered but because your wife dominates you and insists. She wonders whether you're only a submissive sissy or a masochist seeking humiliation, whether you dress the way you're dressed as a new way to disgrace yourself thoroughly. You do know we'd regard that as dishonest, using our company's liberal policy toward transsexuals merely for masochistic fetishism, as a way to get off. We don't hire losers like that. Only people who enjoy what they are and enjoy their work!"

I finally saw an opening. "Gary, it's not that way at all. I'm doing this because Ellie...."

"Your voice doesn't sound suitable, Joy!" he interrupted brusquely. He took a few deep breaths and then said more gently, "If you're really still a man, then you won't want to perform ... ah... the woman's office that she suggested. I wouldn't want you to either, because I'm not gay, so I wouldn't enjoy it! What she suggested is that if you're really a woman, you'll welcome an opportunity to honor my manhood with your womanhood. That it would be therapeutic for you. That it would help prepare you to deal with all those managers!"

God, how can I get out of this? I was thinking desperately!

"And another thing. Dr. Lander reminds me that before you develop very many intimate personal relations with a variety of mall managers, you'll need first to establish your loyalty to your home office! In brief, she thinks that today, right now, I should allow you a girl's most intimate privilege with me. That I should allow you to go down on me. To suck my cock!"

I gulped! He noticed and grinned!

"It would certainly prove that you're sincere now, despite years of suppressed feminine desires. If you're not sincere then you're a fraud, she points out, and your wife will want no more to do with you than we will. It could even suggest there's some kind of problem with your sanity. She says that in that case, she can activate some commitment papers she and your wife have already signed for your own good, so you can get proper treatment. That's what she told me."

Gary looked at my face. "Joe, who'd ever have thought there was a girl like Joy inside you? C'mon over here, honey. Don't look so sad! Let's prove once and for all that you're everything we all want to think you are. Show me what you can do. What you've yearned to do! You aren't faking that you want to be a woman, are you?"

"No," I said in a small voice. Rebecca had spoken the truth. She'd set me up with my boss. There was no way out of this.

"Then you'll love it! Let's have some fun! She tells me you're a virgin, that mine will be your mouth's very first cock, because you were deprived of a proper adolescence as a girl. Well, I'll be gentle, sweetheart, and very understanding. Why don't you kneel down right here in front of me, and unzip and free me up. Then for the first go-round you can do do whatever you like. During the second, if you don't mind, I'll do what I like!"

As I knelt down I tried to remember everything Francesca had described to me while she was making me beautiful. About the veins that streak up the underside of a penis, and where the sensitive nerves are. There they were. God, the thing was thick as my wrist! I forced my lips to touch the satiny suface of its crown. Then my tongue. Francesca had mentioned covering your teeth with your lips, but teasing by nipping. She'd told me about tugging on a penis by tightening your lips around the ridge just below the helmet. About why men think that if you don't swallow, you're rejecting them. About blowing, and licking, and lipping. Everything she'd said about sucking cock while I was barely listening now came back to me. I closed my eyes.

An hour later my boss was persuaded, and I had to agree. I was a sincere, pleasing, sane, and feminine cock-sucker. I had sucked his cock twice, and he had come twice. Then despite the cum still streaking my upper lip he'd kissed me sweetly on my indelible cupid-bow mouth, told me I had a marvelous future as his personal assistant, and told me to be sure to check in after my three-week leave "as soon as things settle in for you at home, between you and your wife I mean. Take as much time as you need." Then he sent me home to my wife.
 
 
iv.
 
 
My stomach was still turning over and my throat still felt sore as I drove home from the office. My last stop before fleeing to my car was the ladies' room, where I'd retched up Gary's semen repeatedly. He'd insisted I swallow his spurtings, that I'd earned the privilege by my truly dedicated sucking and licking the first time, and then the headfucking I'd allowed him the second time, when he'd held me by the ears and fucked my throat until he'd climaxed directly down into my stomach.

His slick, salty cum still coated my mouth, and my lips felt stretched. I wanted to stop at the ground floor bar of our office building for a bourbon to wash the taste away. But the place was crammed with the TGIF crowd, lots of predatory men pausing for quick relaxation before heading home. I took one look, and realized that dressed as I was, I didn't dare enter! I was no man, but neither was I woman enough to deal with rampant male horniness on that scale!

When I got home, I went straight into the kitchen, and I was still gargling when Rebecca came in, leaned against a doorpost, folded her arms, and grinned triumphantly.

"Welcome to true womanhood, Joseph," she said. "You are Joseph under there, aren't you? I'm pretty sure you are, though we'll soon fix that! We're doing a good job already, aren't we? I must say, Francesca did a fabulous job on you! You look good enough to eat! I would, too, if there were a pussy under that skirt you're wearing, instead of that pathetic prick Ellie likes to feel inside her now and then. I just spoke to your boss, who tells me you've been a little naughty! Do you think I should tell Ellie that her girlfriend of less than a day has already cheated on her?"

I just looked at her and gargled some more, then spit into the sink.

"I don't care for the flavor either. Tim started out our marriage insisting that I take him into my mouth and swallow him, and feel grateful to him for the privilege. So I swallowed my own saliva and saved up his cum in a cup and mixed it into his orange juice the next morning. The second time the same, and the third time. The fourth time I told him all about it, after breakfast of course, and he ran for the bathroom. The noises that man's throat made into the toilet! There was no fifth time!"

I had nothing to say to her. I rinsed the glass I'd been using and put it back in the cupboard.

"You do know, don't you, that when you get back from Miss Caroline's and get back to work, giving a blow job will be like breathing. That'll be what you do, until you beg to get a cunt installed to share in the two-way traffic of cocks in and out of your mouth and ass. Miss Caroline knows how to make a man like you fall to his knees in front of any other man, be he a Chairman of the Board or a janitor. Anyone with a swinging dick. That's what lots of men think "true womanhood" is, a woman on her knees in front of them. And that's why their wives get fed up and send their husbands to Miss Caroline for re-education. I haven't decided yet if I should to tell her to turn you into a really cum-starved, cock-crazed slut. I hesitate because then you'd really enjoy mall-inspecting the mall managers with your mouth, and you wouldn't get anything else done. And I don't think you should enjoy it."

I sensed she was on a roll. I let her talk.

"Now you and your boss share something special, your initiation into his kind of true womanhood. The two of you'll soon be enjoying cocktails together after work whenever he wants, his cock sliding into your tail! He already thinks it'd be doing you a favor! That your womanhood needs to feel confirmed, now and then, by a stiff dick up your ass! I've told him that's what it needs!"

"Just wait! You'll feel grateful when he settles for only one cum at a time into your guts, because then you won't need to keep running to the Ladies' to get a tampon to stop his spunk from dribbling out and ruining your dresses. Whenever you leave town on one of your mall crawling trips it'll feel like a vacation, because then you'll be able to pick out for yourself the managers you want to fuck and suck brainless. They'll all expect it of course! I've asked Gary to let them all know that their malls will get especially high marks if you respond strongly to whatever they show you. You want to be a girl, Joseph? Well, that's just what you'll soon be! One kind of girl, anyhow! A fucked-up slut!"

I had to shut her up somehow. She was getting to me!

"Miss Rebecca?"

"That's my girl! Respect your betters! Yes?"

"I only want to be the kind of girl Miss Elaine wants. Not a slut! So I can also be the kind of man she wants, sometimes, too. Why are you setting me up with other men this way?"

She just looked at me, at first amused, then a bit disdainful. "The kind of man she wants?" She practically snorted. "When you get back from Miss Caroline's,n you'll understand. Maybe you'll even thank me. Maybe I'll let you thank me in a special way -- by kissing my ass and cleaning out my asshole with your tongue."

Her voice began to rise. "In a word, Joseph precious, you want to take my Ellie away from me, so I'm taking away your opportunities to do that, and giving you others instead that don't interest me. If I had my way, when we're done with you you'd never want to touch another woman ever, but with men you'd be a bitch in heat! But Ellie won't let me go quite that far. 'That's a cute idea,' she tells me, 'My Joy dating guys. It'll be fun for both of us, me knowing that my hubby likes what I like, and both of us talking about our guys when he gets home!' But she still wants to cuddle with you afterward, to 'compare notes!' That's what she said. So that much at least is in your future, honey. You'll love it!"

She took a few deep breaths. "When you've started dinner," she said next, "bring me a glass of chilled white wine, would you, Joy!" She bit off my new name spitefully. "I'll be in that little study off the living room." Then she stood there, waiting.

"Well?" Her tone was insistent. I realized what she wanted.

"Yes, ma'am," I said.

"That's right! 'Yes, ma'am!' But I only want to hear that sweet bimbo voice I'm sure Francesca taught you. Remember that, 'girl'! Meanwhile, enjoy thinking about your Miss Elaine's reaction when she sees what a nice job Francesca did on her former husband. She'll think you're gorgeous, I'm sure! No signs of masculinity anywhere. Then I'll have no problem talking her into letting me cut your balls off! Maybe she'd even approve my putting in a fuckhole right away,, so you really can be one of the girls. I'm sure Gary would love to discover that you've picked up a vagina during your travels. Then he could invite friends in on Thanksgiving to help stuff you like a turkey, front and rear at the same time. You'd like to be the meat in a man-sandwich, wouldn't you?" She grinned at me, wickedly gleeful. "What do you say, dear?"

"Yes ma'am," I said in my high voice. What else could I say?

"Well, no, you wouldn't like that. But that's why I'd really enjoy seeing it happen!" She turned on one high heel and whisked herself away.

When Ellie got home I'd nearly finished fixing dinner for the three of us. She came into the kitchen while I was bending way over to replace a casserole dish in the oven, my backside thrust high up. "That's a cute hairdo, honey, what I can see of it. And an even cuter tush, whoever you are!" she said. "But where's Joey?"

I straightened up and faced her. "I don't know any more, Ellie," I said. Then in my girly voice, "This isn't at all what I expected when I offered to be a girl for you. This isn't me."

Elaine was genuinely astonished that the girl with the cute tush and the sweet voice was me. She just stared, speechless for a moment. Then she recovered.

"'Miss Elaine' to you, Joy honey! Remember? But you're gorgeous! A few more changes here and there and you'd really be beautiful!"

"That's what Miss Rebecca said earlier," I told her a little mournfully. If I got too gorgeous, I knew, she might begin to agree with her Becky that my male equipment ruined the effect.

"Oh, Becky's been teasing you again about those things you've got dangling down there? Well, don't worry, sweetheart. Now that you're my girlfriend, not my husband, I can finally tell you girl to girl that they aren't that impressive. A lot of our lovemaking during the past year or so has been for old time's sake. Lots of men are hung better than you, honey. Your boss, Gary, for one!"

Suddenly a delighted smile lit up her face. "But you know that already, now, don't you? Becky told me this morning that she'd set you up to suck his cock before the day was out. And she did it, didn't she! I can tell from the expression on your face just now! How was it? Exciting?"

As she asked, my wife actually came up close to me and put her arms around my neck, and pressed her body to me, and wriggled her pelvis on my stiffening crotch, and put her face up to mine. Girl to girl? I kissed her. I couldn't help it. My heart yearned toward her. She sighed.

"Oh, that's so nice. So gentle. I think I'm going to like this new arrangement. But when you sucked Gary's cock, honey, did you like it? Did it make your heart feel all fluttery? Did you feel transformed into a different person?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Or is it Miss Sweetheart?" She smiled at my little joke, and lifted her head to hear more. "Yes. It made me a cock sucker. I wasn't one before. He insisted that I swallow his sperm. Twice. So I had to. Then later I barfed it all back up."

She looked into my eyes affectionately and pressed her hips even closer. I could feel her belly sliding my skirt and slip up and down along the length of my dong. "You poor dear! Too much stress for one day, I suppose. But he *does* have a nice cock. So beautifully shaped, and quite impressive in size, too. You'll get to love it the way I do, I bet! That's what Miss Caroline's School is for, to help girls like you develop positive attitudes. So you'll never pass a goodlooking man on the street without at least a glance at his crotch, wondering how he's hung."

There'd been all these hints all day. Francesca, Gary, Miss Rebecca, they all seemed to be telling me that my wife has been unfaithful to me with other men, not just with her Rebecca. For some time. She herself had almost said it earlier. And now she was saying it again! She's sucked Gary's cock? My boss's? She almost never blows me, I thought. She once told me it was distasteful to her.

I hugged her pelvis tightly against mine, the most intimate contact we'd had in ...was it only two days? And I smiled at her as sweetly as my little cupid's bow mouth could smile. I could see in her eyes that her heart was reaching toward me. "My sweet, sweet Joy!" she crooned to me. I began to kiss her, nibbling her lips.

I needed confirmation, and decided to seek it indirectly. "Have you given Gary many blow jobs, honey?" I murmured to her. I didn't want to know, but I had to know.

"Oh, yes, sweetheart," she said breathlessly, in between sweet, soft pecks of her lips on mine. "And lots of other men too. Practically all the men I go to bed with, in fact, except you. They love it. Men fuck so much more satisfactorily after a little lip. It excites them, I guess. You'll find out!" She reached between us and began to knead my cock, now fully hardened inside my pantyhose. "It excites me, too! I love taking a powerful, masculine man into my mouth, and making him dance to my least little lick or kiss."

"You mean now you're willing to suck on my penis before we fuck? Is that what you mean?"

"No, sweetheart, that's not what I mean. I think you know what I mean. You never were a powerful, masculine man, and now look at you! Already practically my sister! My sissy hubby! Soon, when you're more of a woman, you'll also want to suck cock before making love, to inspire your man to fuck you more passionately. That's what I mean. The way I do. I guess your first experience today wasn't too pleasant. Gary shouldn't have asked you to swallow right off. Cum is an acquired taste, I think."

"And you've acquired it?" I asked. I was getting disconsolate. The more I learned, the worse I felt. So to recover some self-confidence I reached down and cupped the cheeks of her ass, then pulled her pelvis close. Ellie responded by rising up on her toes and throwing her head back and pressing even closer against me, her hand still working my penis while my head bent to kiss her throat.

"Oh, yesssss! Yes, honey! Yes!"

"And then when they cum, you fuck them?" I asked, my mouth on her neck.

"Yes, lover! If they can get it up right away, then right away. If not, soon afterward. You never could stiffen up again twice, not the same night. So I never wanted to blow you first! I'd always rather that you used your one cumpower sex drive to fuck me. I've never, ever, really gotten enough fucking!"

"So you've fucked Gary too?" My face was soaked, from pressing into the hollow of her throat while I licked and sucked and kissed her neck.

"Of course," she said in a dreamy voice. Should I be reminding her of other lovers at a moment like this? "Didn't I just say so? Fucked and sucked Gary. Quite a few times. I love it. It's such a beautiful cock!" Then she pulled back and to one side, and looked at me a little askew.

"Now Joy, sweetie, let's be sensible. You just had that heavy sculptured thing of his in your own mouth only this afternoon. You just swallowed his cum, even though you found it was just a little bit rich for your tummy, only this afternoon. We were just regretting that you aren't yet woman enough to hold it down, weren't we? You're scheduled to take on more mall managers in the next few months than the men I'll bed down in a year, hundreds maybe. You're the company whore now, lover! That's how you'll prove you sincerely love being the girl you asked me to make you! Remember? That's what Becky and Gary have arranged for you! So why these questions? Are you jealous? Whatever for? Am I jealous that you spent the afternoon licking Gary's lollypop while I was hard at work downtown?"

"At least I didn't fuck him," I said, a little truculently, trying to reproach her with my virtuous example. This conversation was getting crazy. What kind of a comment was that?

Miss Elaine leaned way back, still supported by my hands on her ass cheeks, and looked at me thoughtfully.

"No, sweetheart," she said. "I know you didn't. Becky wanted him to take your cherry too this afternoon, really to ream your ass deep and hard and fast, so you'd come home to us in real pain, spraddle-legged, your guts oozing cum and your panties soaked, maybe bleeding a little like the virgin you are. So you'd limp into the house like a five dollar streetwalker eager to get to sleep. Gary can make any woman feel that way, you know! He's been in my ass too! More than once! If your Joseph wants to be a girl, Becky said, then let Gary fuck his sissy brains out! Becky wanted you to finish up today feeling absolutely and utterly humiliated, like some gang-raped high school cheer leader. To feel emasculated once and for all, because men do tend to think that if they're fucked by other men they're no longer men."

She paused, still studying me. "I think so too, Joy! Don't you?"

Then she continued. "But I wouldn't let her arrange it just yet. You're still new to being a girl, and I was afraid that huge thing of his might rip something inside you. Also, I want the first time you're held in a man's arms, and kissed, and fucked, to be as beautiful for you as it was for me. So you're eager to do it again! So we agreed that you could wait for romance until Miss Caroline's. Until you're a girl in your desires too, not just in your intentions. We both hope that when you come back from Miss Caroline's you'll be as eager to get laid as I am."

I didn't seem able to regain the moral high ground. I tried once again. "Miss Elaine, honey," I said. "Doesn't Miss Rebecca expect you to be faithful to her now that you're living together?"

She was puzzled. "No, Joy. Why do you ask? I've always gone out with boys now and then despite my deep devotion to Becky. Despite my deep devotion to you too! And she's always had a few girls available to her on the side, too.

Finally I could sound like the injured party. "I've been faithful to you ever since our marriage, no matter what the temptations. And now you say you've had other men all this time? And also had Miss Rebecca? You haven't been faithful to me at all! Why, honey? Why?"

Her body was still relaxed in my arms, but I saw that she was still watching me closely. "I like sex," she said, simply. "Correction, I love sex! Every night, if I can get it, and as often each night as I can get it. Becky and I did things together every night. And some of the guys I've been with, they can do things repeatedly night after night, sometimes for days on end!"

She laid her head to one side, eyes almost closed but still watching me, now faintly amused. "I never promised you I'd forsake all others, sweetheart. Remember? That's what you promised me! I always left my options open! For Becky, and for my other needs."

She paused, then surged ahead. "I owe it to you to tell you everything now, honey. This may hurt your masculine ego, but maybe it'll strengthen your femininity. I love you, but as a man you're sexually inadequate. It's not your fault, but you lack drive and stamina both. You lack the passionate dedication it takes to bring a woman to the top of her arc and then keep her there hour after hour. Oh, you'll try to make love to me once, maybe two, three times a week, in a good week. You're a good man, and I know you love me. But that's a big reason why I decided to leave you for Becky when she asked me to live with her. If you must know. And that's why I was delighted by your offer to turn girl for me. You're no loss to me, sexually. I think it's quite probable that a man who isn't much of a man is better off as a woman. In time, she'll find she's hotter, more eager for sex, and more responsive too! Because a woman can perform any time -- she doesn't have to wait a few days to get it up again! All she has to do is want it! That's why I want you to become all girl, not just sort of a girl. A girl who likes guys. So you can perform any time with the right kind of guy."

"Then too, honey, if you're a girl you won't mind who I sleep with -- you'll be pleased that I'm pleased. We can even gossip about our different men the way girlfriends do. Then we're both better off. You may even do better with men than I do! Just look at you, honey! You're already quite attractive! And just look what you've already done with Gary! What a wonderful beginning! I just love it, how far you're willing to go to keep our marriage alive! What girl wouldn't? That's true love, no doubt about that at all! It's so very flattering! So very, very dear!"

She kissed me on the nose. "Now be a good girlfriend. Ask me the kinds of questions a girlfriend would ask about my other men. No more jealousy! For instance, a year ago, you remember a new man your company hired, Michael? He worked for you? Let's pretend it's a year ago and I've agreed to have dinner alone with Michael, just to see what he has in mind. I remember what I hoped would happen -- he's very good-looking, loaded with ambition, and he has that devastatingly cute smile! He told me he wanted to talk about you, to understand you better. The way he said it, the way he looked at me, made me feel so strangely excited! I told him I would of course, but that I'd have to be home by midnight or you'd worry. And I was. You never even noticed."

"You dated Michael?" I asked morosely. I remembered Michael very well! We worked together on several projects. Tremendous drive and vitality, always cheerful, a vigorous man always on top of everything. And unfailingly generous -- he'd let everyone else take credit for his own ideas. I owed him, I knew, for a promotion I got soon after he transferred out to head one of our branches.

"This is a pretend conversation, you know. So you can practice asking me the right questions. That's not what a girlfriend would ask. She'd assume it."

"Please. Just this once."

"Yes, I did date him. As often as I could, while he was here. He was wonderful, Joey! His body was hard and chiseled, and he did everything with such enthusiasm! He'd plug himself into me and never stop moving, not for hours, no matter how frantic I got. I spent a lot of our time together altogether out of my mind, probably babbling all sorts of wild things to him."

"You talked about me?"

"Of course. When my mouth wasn't full of him, of course! He was a much better lover than you, and it was so marvelous I just had to say so! But Joy, these still aren't a girlfriend's questions. Let's try to pretend again. I've just had my first date with him and you call me at work the next day for a little gossip session. I'll answer the phone. 'Hello'?"

I swallowed hard. "Hello," I said.

"Joy! So marvelous that you called. I was just about to call you!"

"Oh?" I paused. Then I forced the next question. "So how was it?"

"Joy, he was fantastic, beyond anything you'd ever imagine! We looked at each other and forgot all about ordering dinner! We're lucky the restaurant was in a hotel, or we'd have done each other right there on the table in full view of everyone!"

She waited. "That good, eh?" was all I could come up with. She waited some more, and then suddenly I remembered how women talk with each other about dates.

"Oooh, scrumptious!" I said. "You have to tell me everything! First of all, what were you wearing?" An image of her undressing in front of him was tormenting my mind.

Elaine suddenly threw both arms around my neck and kissed me ferociously! "Oh, Joy, Joy, that's perfect! You do have a talent for this! Of course my girlfriend would ask that question! That's what women are always concerned about, how to dress for all sorts of occasions, especially for a first date with a new lover. I'll tell you everything, sweetheart. I want you to know, so you'll know how to dress when the time comes! I'll want to tell you lots of things I do with my men, things I couldn't tell Becky because she's never wanted to know about men. But not right now!"

She wriggled her buttocks free from my hands and stood back. "Dinner's just about ready, Joy. I see you've set three places for us. If you don't mind, honey, until Becky's willing to accept you as a real woman I think you should make it just two places. You can eat here in the kitchen after you've served us and stood by to tend our needs, and cleared the table and put things back to rights. We real women have things we want to talk about that don't concern you!" Her eyes glistened. "Some things that do concern you, but then, servants should never listen to their betters' conversations, should they?"

"No," I said absently, scarcely listening now. I was still absorbing these many terrible revelations. I was near despairing. Me, sexually inadequate to my own wife's needs? Tricked into blowing a man who's been fucking my wife? One of the men? One of many men? How many men? My boss now expects me to service him as a regular thing? My life has been a sham, I thought. But despite all, I had to admit it, I do love her! She's so very desireable, even now! Even more than before! And she loves me, in her way, she's just practically told me so again!

"No, what?" She looked at me, expectant.

"No, Miss Elaine."

"That's my sweetheart!" And she twirled out to join Miss Rebecca in the living room while I began to set out their dinner.

At first I was depressed, but as I thought about it my heart began to glow. I was still her sweetheart! She loves me all the more now! I found that I was humming that "West Side Story" song "I feel pretty" to myself. It was all I had left. I checked my face in a hall mirror as I carried in the first course. My make-up was still perfect. It really was cock-proof, just as Francesca had said, and kiss-proof too. I did feel pretty!

That night well after midnight I was surprised to wake up to see Miss Elaine standing by my bed, looking down on me. I said nothing, but she must have seen by gleams of reflected light in my eyes that they were open, because she leaned over and pulled back the covers and whispered, "Joey, my lovely Joy, we've been married a long time, husband and wife, and now that's all changing. Roll over onto your back and pull that pretty nighty up past your hips, because tonight I want you to know exactly how I feel."

I did as she asked, an instant erection mounting high skyward it seemed to me, though I suppose not high enough for her, from what she'd told me earlier. In what seemed like one movement she leaned over and then mounted me, knees on either side, sinking my cock deep into her. She was already so slippery I could scarcely feel her wet warmth, but soon she begin to rotate her hips, and to rise and fall and rise again over me, and I began to feel that wonderful pressure building in my groin.

"This is how I feel," she said, rotating her pelvis into the most delicious bump and grind rhythm imaginable. I was near fainting. "You've been such a wonderful husband! Putting my desires so far ahead of your own that you're willing to alter your own altogether. Would any other man volunteer to become a woman in order to keep his wife? Would any other man be willing to share her with another woman, and hear that he's also been sharing her with other men the whole time? My knight in shining armor! Soon to become my darling Faery Queen! You are so very special, sweetheart, and I do love you! Remember that during the next few weeks. It may not be easy!"

She corkscrewed her pussy down onto my cock, over and over, now with a special intensity. I could tell from old experience she was nearly orgasmic. Around and up and down again even more passionately. I thrust up hard into her and then suddenly felt myself pass the point of no return! Bliss! Extended, succulent, sweet bliss! Stretching on, soaked in honey, squeezed way up into her! Higher bliss! On and on it went. Tight, joyous joy! Joy! Then finally, release! Pulsing, delicious squirting my heavenly juices high up into her innermost santum, throb after throb, just as she herself tensed excruciatingly and then herself spasmed over and over on me, her pussy squeezing and milking me. She began to keen, opening her throat into a moaning wail with each outgoing breath. Then she collapsed on my chest.

I caught my breath and said, "Well!" I was about to say something more, affectionate and reassuring, but her hand felt for my face and then settled over my mouth.

"No, darling!" She waited, to recover for another moment from the orgasm we'd just shared, the greatest of our married life! "Don't say anything! Wasn't that tremendous? I'm so happy for you! I wanted you to remember exactly how I feel, how my pussy feels when your prick is sliding inside it. Because when you go to Miss Caroline's things will change. Becky tells me that after Miss Caroline's many men can't ever again get engorged hard enough to penetrate a pussy. Their cocks become cute little boneless finger-sized clits. Now, that can be fun too. But it means that this may well be your prick's farewell to my pussy. So I wanted you to know one last time how I feel when I'm snug all around you! I wanted one last fuck for myself too! To remember you by!"

My penis shrank as she spoke, and then flopped out to lie flaccid on my belly under her leaking crotch. No more erections? "But it won't be your mouth's farewell to my pussy, my new Joy! By no means! I was thinking, some of your stomach's upset over Gary's semen may have been from the idea of it, the idea of swallowing such rich fluid. You've never tasted cum before, have you? Well, now you can drink up all of that delicious juice you've just put into me. Your tongue and my clit and my slit are going to become old friends once you're my live-in girlfriend. No matter whose cum is oozing out of me when I come home, I'll always want to share it with you. Because we're married, and I really do want to share everything in my life with you!" In another single swift movement she rotated her whole body around and knelt with her legs on my pillow, straddling my head and looking down at my shiny, now-shriveled cock. She planted her knees on my shoulders, and clamped my head between her calves, and I found I couldn't budge my head! Then her haunches slowly lowered onto my face, and she buried my nose in her dripping slit. I began to suffocate! But then slowly she thrust her groin forward, then backward over my face, bumping and grinding again, wiping her pussy slit across my nose, back and forth, so my nose rubbed from her clit to her asshole. "Suck, sweetheart!" I heard her say from somewhere above me. "Suck my fuckhole! It's your fuckhole too! Do it!"

I did it, gulping air and cum whenever I could. Fermy, salty, pissy, viscous glops of our fluids rolled onto my tongue, and I swallowed it to keep it from clogging my nostrils. Her wiping grew more vigorous, and she called out for me to suck her harder, harder! A few times my nose pushed deep, deep into her anus, then slipped out and down to tweak her clit, then back in again, even deeper! Suddenly I heard a muffled series of cries like "Ooof! Oooof!" as her whole rear end stiffened and bore down on my head, cramming my skull into the mattress and then holding it there, fixed, interminably. She seemed to be paralyzed. Then suddenly she relaxed, and then gout after gout of a thick tapioca of slick, hot, coagulated cum squeezed out of her cunt, spasm after spasm, into my open mouth. My Elaine had orgasmed! She lifted her hips and shifted her knees off my shoulders. I swallowed down the last of of her cunt's fluids and breathed free again.

"That was just beautiful!" she said, herself still a little breathless. "Just beautiful, darling! See, cum is wonderful after all! Now kiss your mistress goodbye."

I waited. But she didn't move, and I finally realized what she wanted. I lifted my head as high as I could and pushed my face back between her legs . My lips contacted her distended lower lips, her swollen labia now dripping with my saliva instead of my sperm and her juices. They were my whole world! I kissed them delicately. Then passionately. Then fiercely! She waited until my frenzy of obeisance died down.

"So sweet you are," she said. "And it'll be so much more fun when you come back to us. You'll know so much more, Becky tells me, about so many more things. Now kiss me again, and thank me for tonight."

I kissed her slit again, and said "Thank you, Miss Elaine."

"You're very welcome, dear. Now sleep tight. Enjoy the taste of all that delicious sperm in your mouth and tummy. I told you your problem with Gary's cum was mostly in your head. You'll love it next time, I'll bet. You just needed gentle treatment, and a chance to appreciate it when people offer you their most intimate body fluids as a gift."

As she reached the door to my room she looked back. Dawn dimly lit the room. "Francesca was right," she said seriously. "Your make-up really is pussy-proof! Not at all smeared. You're really not much of a man at all any more, honey. But you're certainly the prettiest you've ever been. In a way I'm going to miss my hubby. But I suspect you'll soon help me forget him."
 
 
v.
 
 
The next morning I dressed simply in clothes Miss Elaine provided -- bra and panties, skirt and blouse, a button down sweater worn open, and pennyloafers. I saw in the mirror that I had no need for makeup -- my huge eyes and pouty lips were as expressive as ever. After the previous day, and especially after last night, I felt a little apprehensive. My self-assurance had retreated to a new defensive position. Until two days ago it had been based on my ability to take charge and arrange things. I'd play along, and when I saw an opening, break loose and take my wife with me. But with this happening my life was utterly out of control. I felt the beginnings of a new desire, a need to please, to placate, to seek approval and hope for the best. To submit to the women who were in fact in control of my life. To try to become one of them, if that's what they wanted, if I could prove worthy. There lay my safety. If my Miss Elaine could feed me my own sperm lovingly from her vagina, and then ask me to thank her by kissing her tumescent cunt lips, I had to be prepared for anything, and prepared also to feel grateful when it came.

Rebecca came into the kitchen while I was setting out dishes for breakfast, carrying a little case. She seemed strangely subdued, almost able to say something friendly to me. "I've got two shots for you this morning, Joy. Between them, you'll probably find you're impotent, but don't let it worry you -- in fact one of them is to keep you from worrying about anything."

She injected me, and I just watched. There was nothing I could do about it. Here comes womanhood, I thought.

"Don't bother to shave today or tomorrow," she said. "Miss Caroline will want to give you full facial and body lasers, and they'll need a bit of stubble to help them find the roots. I'll confirm by this evening whether or not you go tomorrow morning." She grinned for a moment. "Since your beard will be visible today, maybe for the last time, stay home and practice being a housemaid. Do the laundry, make the beds, and so on. Show how useful you'll be when you're our live-in maid. Once you're properly respectful, and once you accept your place without resentment, I won't mind you and Miss Elaine now and then doing whatever you'll be able to do by then."

Miss Elaine came down and I placed her usual breakfast before her without a word. She saw the empty syringe kit on the kitchen counter, glanced at me with a slight smile, glanced at Miss Rebecca, but said nothing. She and Miss Rebecca then began chatting about their work for the day, in low tones, as if already accustomed live-in friends, paying me no attention at all. I was already their servant girl. As she left the house. Miss Elaine paused to instruct me to practice fixing my hair, and to wear enough make-up to look decent if someone came to the door. She told me that before they returned I should change to the brown housemaid's dress and apron I'd find in my closet. I'd wear it whenever waiting on them, to remind me that I was not an equal partner in the household.

"Yes, Miss Elaine," I said after each order. Miss Rebecca looked up and suggested I curtsy when I was acknowledging formal instruction. She stood, and without taking her eyes off me demonstrated the leg movement, the dip and bow with arms spread. Then watched me do it.

"But you'll keep your eyes downcast when you curtsy, Joy. Modestly. Always. If we come home with a guest, even if we take that guest into our bedroom, you should not appear to know or care whether that guest is a man or a woman. You will never look directly at any of us. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Miss Rebecca," I said, curtsying while examining the floor in front of me. "I understand!"

"I'm sure you do," Miss Rebecca replied. "Because this is what you asked for, isn't it? It's exactly what you want?"

"Yes, ma'am," I replied. It still seemed better than living here with the two of them making plans to move out and leave me alone in an empty house and an abandoned marriage. Or with me planning to move out. A would-be woman is what the world now thinks I am, I realized. I can't be anything else. I can't go anywhere else. Maybe I can still have some of my former Ellie.

She smiled and soon after, left. I spent the day making beds and doing other cleanup housework, trying to accustom myself to my new station in life. Trying to imagine myself a woman. The kind of woman I could imagine myself, anyhow. It was comforting, in a way. Easy. I felt serene. My main responsibility was to be neat and subservient. That afternoon I planned and began to fix dinner, and then just before my Ladies were due to return I changed to my housemaid's uniform. To be respectful and submissive while by myself wasn't too difficult. It was reassuring! And meanwhile I could wait for an edge, an advantage I could exploit!

That evening when Miss Rebecca came home she told me I'd be leaving for Miss Caroline's the next morning, and then asked about any erections (there had been none). I served her and Miss Elaine dinner without a word, and I overheard them discussing whether it might be a good idea to send me to culinary school once I returned from Miss Caroline's. They seemed to think I had talent that way.

"Maybe he should go to hairdresser's school too," Miss Rebecca said, her voice loud enough for me to hear easily. "So he can mix with the other faggots. Then when he isn't busy sucking them off he could learn how to make you look more desireable to real men!"

"That's wicked!" Miss Elaine replied, delighted. "But crocheting, embroidery, petit-point, any kind of needlework, those are all arts Joy would find fascinating, I should think! They'd help keep his mind focussed on small things, so he doesn't brood over the larger implications of what's happening to him."

"Oh, I want him to know what's happening to him," Miss Rebecca replied. "And when he's completely feminized, I'll want him to know everything! When there's no turning back."

"Everything!" Miss Elaine sounded amused. "Becky, you really are wicked! Not that it'll matter by then!"

So my ladies had some kind of secret they meant to tell me, I thought to myself. Some day. I could wait. I felt so tranquil, meanwhile. So sedate. As if I had been sedated (I smiled to myself at that). When they went to bed together I happened to be clearing cordial glasses away from the sideboard in the living room. I only glanced up as the bedroom door closed on them. My two mistresses are going to bed now, was all that registered in my mind. I felt quite placid. So it was something of a surprise when I was lying in bed alone, my second night alone, wearing what I realized was the very nightgown Elly had wanted me to try on years earlier, and in the gloom I saw Rebecca open my door and come in.

"I want to see for myself before you go off to become someone else," she said abruptly. "Elly says you suck cunt as dedicatedly as you suck cock. She got me hot and bothered tonight telling me, but then she fell sound asleep. And I don't want to awaken her -- she'll have a hard day with you tomorrow, setting you a good example, so you'll just have to take care of me now."

I was amazed. Also reluctant, because being trapped into sex with a man like Gary while I'm still a man was is thing, but for me sex with a woman, any woman, was classical marital infidelity. I had never been unfaithful to Ellie, and as I sank deeper into femininity I needed all the more the self-respect that fact provided me. And I didn't like Rebecca. I didn't want to pleasure her! I stared at her and she stared back. She was perfectly well aware why I was hesitating.

"That nightie's very becoming, Joseph," she said, not unkindly. "You may make a passable woman after all, eventually. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Yes, Miss Rebecca."

"So you can stay with your wife. Your former wife, Miss Elaine. Isn't that so?"

"Yes, Miss Rebecca."

"Why are these little efforts necessary, Joseph?"

"Because she prefers you, Miss Rebecca. She'd rather live with you."

"And would I rather live with you?"

"No ma'am."

"Then it's up to you to persuade me, isn't it? To find some reason why I should keep you on?"

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Then get up and kneel next to the bed and persuade me. I'm open to argument!"

I did as she asked. She lay down across the bed on her back with her buttocks just on the edge, and spread her long legs wide apart in front of me. I leaned in and sniffed at her snatch. It was dripping, musky but flowery. Perfumed? I leaned in to give a tentative lick to the top of her slit, where her clit should be. It was. I tongued it once.

Then with the suddenness of a female spider binding in her webs any male who dared touch her, she wrapped her legs around my head and clamped her thighs tight on my ears and pulled me into her. My nose sank through her labia deep into her wet pussy. I could no longer move my head, nor breathe. I expected to smother. But while I could still move I began to nudge her whole groin with my face, repeatedly, until her thighs loosened slightly and I could gasp a breath of air before she closed me in again. Then my tongue, nose, lips, mouth, everything I could muster began to move and lick and wipe and press deeper into her. She began to move in turn. I licked and flicked and nibbled as her hip motions grew more prolonged, more strained, until at her peak she lifted herself half off the bed to meet and match and press her clit and snatch against my whole head, rotating her pelvis on my nose and tongue. Then when she opened her legs wide and I could hear again, "AAAAAGGGHHHHHHH" was what she was shouting in sheer joy. She fell back on the bed and began to catch her breath. I didn't dare move, bowed, still on my knees, still fearful of fainting for lack of air, breathing as deeply as I dared.

"See, I told you," I heard my wife's voice behind me. "Isn't she wonderful with pussies? So dedicated! A natural-born lesbian, now that she no longer thinks she's a man! Did you give Joy something, that she's was that ardent, bringing you off? She looked starved, as if she wanted to eat you from your crotch to your navel!"

"I gave him a choice, lick me and excite me or suffocate!" replied Miss Rebecca somewhere above muffled, still short of breath. "All right. I'll allow he's good for this. I'd hoped that after Miss Caroline we'd be seeing the last of him! But the first time he intrudes on us, the first time he fails to give either of us complete satisfaction -- I send him away. He'll go on Gary's company call girl list, and he'll fuck whoever he's told to fuck until his ears clog up with the cum they'll pump into his ass and we can toss him away like a used-up scumbag. Or maybe I'll just come back here again some night, and do this again, but really asphyxiate him, clamp his nose and mouth so tight he can't breathe, and let him drown him in my cunt juices. I'd love to make out that death certificate: 'Cause of Death -- Drowned during cunnilingus!' He nearly did this time!"

"You hear that, sweetheart?"

"Yes, Miss Elaine," I said still-breathlessly. "I'll be good!"

"You'll do everything you're asked to do, and agree with everyone who tells you what you want. For three weeks. Then you can come back to me. And to Becky, and Gary, of course. And anyone else we say!"

"Yes ma'am." I said it devoutly now, sincerely, with my whole heart!

"Let's go to bed now, Becky. I think he's learned!"

As I lay back on my bed, I realized that I had passed a crucial entrance examination without even knowing it. I may very well also have saved myself from death by drowning in Rebecca's cunt -- she really could arrange it if she choose. This affair between Elly and Becky was far more consequential than I had imagined -- together they weren't at all the women I'd thought them. I decided to do everything either of them asked me from now on, as asked, and hope to survive mainly by slavish obedience. Only then could I see if like Orpheus I would return from this strange new Hell I'd entered in order to find and to win back my wife. Who no longer seemed to be my wife. And as far as sex went, never had been.
 
 
vi.
 
 
The next day dressing was easy -- the same skirt, blouse, and sweater, and as I tripped out of the house toward the car where Miss Elaine waited with the engine running, Rebecca stood for a moment in the hallway in her red dressing gown and then surprisingly, volunteered a comment.

"I've been very hard on you, Joy. Because as you know, I don't trust you. And you know why. But please understand, everything I've done has been to change you enough so I can begin to trust you. It's true, I trapped you with Gary, but you did do what Gary asked, and now your sexuality's closer to what it needs to be, what you said you wanted it to be before you'd really thought it through. You've serviced a man, and you won't ever forget it, will you? Once a cock sucker always a cock sucker. And you've gone down on me, and the previous night you went down on Miss Elaine. All without drugs, without argument, just from your desire to please her and your need to please me. And that desire exalts you, doesn't it? I don't think you sincerely want to become a woman, not just yet. But I think now that you mean to try, to try to become sincere. To try to change. To submit to become a woman. I hope so."

"You now know what your marriage has really been, and what it needs. I'll be happy to allow you to join us, Joy, if that's who you really are. Let Miss Caroline help you. It's your only chance."

And she actually bent forward and kissed me on the cheek. My bristly cheek, with its day's growth of beard on it. I knew what that cost her. I leaned forward to kiss her back gratefully, but she looked startled and pulled back. So I just said "Thank you, ma'am, I will try!" She looked pleased.

Miss Elaine drove me out into the country only a short way, among rolling hills where some of the larger estates of our area were located, some of them with stables visible from the road. Miss Caroline's School looked modest by comparison as we passed through the gate and drove through trees to the portico. It looked like one more ordinary country estate set behind a high wall -- no more than ten or twelve bedrooms, with a facade of brick and English Tudor, a style of American architecture that usually signifies unease about new wealth and a desire to associate it with settled prosperity. It too had a stable behind it.

"It started as a sanctuary for battered women," Miss Elaine commented. "Then it affiliated with that women's hospital Becky's helping out, and began experimenting with behavior modification. First how to condition the women to assert themselves, then how to train their husbands not to assert themselves. Then to train them to submit to their newly dominant wives. Then to make them into submissive wives themselves, when their wives requested it. Or other sorts of women. The staff are very good at it now. A perfect success rate, Becky tells me. And a long waiting list -- you're lucky, Joy!"

Miss Caroline was standing on the steps to greet us as we got out of the car, looking plump, cheerful, brisk, and reassuring.

"Welcome, dear hearts," she called out, advancing to seize Elaine's hand with both of hers. "Elaine, isn't it! So lovely to meet you! I've known your Rebecca, Dr. Lander, for many years, she's referred some of my most successful students to me. And this young lady here must be Joy!" Her eyes flicked penetratingly over me, as women's eyes do, and she saw instantly what Francesca had done to me yesterday. "That's a very pretty hairdo, dear, so flattering, and it must be so easy to take care of! Do come in, both of you! We'll tend to your luggage."

There was an elevator in the main foyer. I was surprised that the indicator registered not only two more floors above us but four below. The building was much larger than it appeared. I wondered what was in those windowless rooms beneath. I learned later that they were exercise rooms and dormitories for the "trainers" who worked with Miss Caroline's "students." Also medical facilities, including a fully equipped operating room "where anything can be reshaped to anything" as I was told. Also a series of lounges where women and near-women could work with their trainers in private, studying and practicing various feminine arts in utter seclusion. There were punishment rooms too, a ward attendant told me with a meaningful glance, and punishment areas including the stables, which did indeed stable horses. "I've seen stiffly stubborn men become wannabe girls overnight, eager to be girls, after a night with one or two of our stallions," one attendant commented, amused. I resolved to stay away from them if I could.

We settled in chairs in Miss Caroline's private office, and she moved behind a huge carved desk to sit on what would have been a throne if it were free-standing. Then she folded her hands on the desk and beamed at us.

"I think I have all the information I need, dear," she said to me. She indicated several fat folders. "And I have your wife's signed permissions to do whatever seems necessary or helpful, with you or to you, and your earlier proxy signing all such determinations over to her. All well and good. But now I need to hear certain things from your own lips -- your lips are very becoming, incidentally, but why the 1920's retro?"

"We asked the salon to shape her face to seem to invite men without intimidating them," Elaine replied. "And I suppose it amused Francesca to give Joy a kind of Clara Bow or Betty Boop mouth. So she looks sprightly but not too bright. Her look says, 'I'm available, and unconventional, maybe even kinky.' We wanted it indelible, to be a serious commitment on Joy's part, not an overnight whim. Then we could see how suitable the look was for her, and later we'd have her mouth reshaped by a surgeon. So far her lips are fine. She's had occasion to use them several times, and I for one find them quite satisfactory."

"Yes," Miss Caroline said, smiling reassuringly at me. "They aren't nearly as plump and soft as we might wish, but it says here they've already satisfactorily performed both fellatio and cunnilingus. I'd call that adequate, wouldn't you?"

The chair I was sitting in, I began to realize, was extraordinarily high. I'm not a short person, but even so my legs dangled. I felt awkward, clutching my purse in my lap.

"I asked you a question, dear. Where are your manners?"

"I guess," I said. Her use of the Latin terms for cocksucking and cuntlapping didn't remove altogether my memory of Gary's semen in my mouth, and then my own. Slimy, like raw egg. Like mucous. Like scum! I wasn't too happy about it. Well, you'd better get used to it, Joy, I told myself. Joseph, I mean.

"You didn't enjoy it?"

"Not with Gary," I replied. "But I did what I was told!"

"Well, that's a beginning. When you leave here, you'll love it, I have no doubt of that. We have no problem supplying a girl's mouth with penises -- we keep plenty of them in residence and on call."

She looked at me and waited. I smiled. That was what she wanted.

"I suppose I should tell you" -- Miss Caroline lifted a sheaf of paper and studied it for a moment -- "yes, here it is, both of your Mistresses want you to lose another dress size or two while you're here. So you'll live on sperm exclusively. Did you know it's a health food, with practically everything a body needs? You'll nurse it from its sources four times daily. And use your own jism if you want to snack between meals. But I should warn you, you'll feel famished until you learn how to excite a man to produce lots of sperm, and how to milk him two or three times while you've got him down and willing. You'll be starved to find every drop delectable, especially the pearly pre-cum. These are things every well-bred girl should know. Your kind of girl certainly."

"Yes, ma'am."

"This will take concentrated dedication, young woman. So answer me frankly. Do you really want to be a girl?"

This was a catch question. Maybe I could equivocate. "I'm willing to be a girl," I replied.

"So I hear. But that's not the answer I need to hear. There's only one acceptable answer to that question. Didn't she tell you she wants to be a girl, Elaine?"

"Yes, she certainly did," Elaine answered. "That's why we're here." She was disappointed by my evasion, I could tell. Yet she was also pleased that Miss Caroline was calling her husband "she." As if my transformation were a fait accompli. Maybe I never was enough of a "he" for her? I guess not, given all those men she'd fucked behind my back!

"Because she never was much of a man anyhow?" Miss Caroline continued.

"She thought she was," Elaine replied thoughtfully. "But she's never been, not really. Even so, she's still too much a man for my partner. So it's now 'be a girl or you're off on your own.'"

"Yes," Miss Caroline said. "So I understand."

She turned back toward me. "I need to tell you, Joy, when wives send husbands here there are only two places they're fit for when I'm done with them. One is back with their wives, properly trained as requested. The other is the streets in the naughtiest parts of the city, because if they don't wish to become what their wives want, if they resist, if they don't give us their very best efforts, if they're resentful or only pretending, we can tell. A girl who fakes desire is a whore, and that's how she ends up. Quite a few Miss Caroline graduates are prowling the streets and stopping cars right now, or cruising singles bars, and bringing peace and comfort to all the dripping cocks they can seduce and bringing whatever they earn home to their wives, if their wives will have them, if their wives are home themselves and not out with other men themselves. They aren't fit for much else. We make a final determination shortly before their course of study ends, and then concentrate our efforts so they'll finish as one or the other."

"You see, dear, we're not cruel. Our girls all acquire certain desires and characteristics here that unfit them as men, sometimes that unfit them for any gainful employment except on their backs. Then some pimp finds them and sets them up, and they earn their own way. Some wives deliberately dump unwanted husbands here so they can learn to support themselves after they've been stripped of everything, property, reputations, even their ability to think clearly. Even their knowledge of who they once were, and what sex or gender! Some divorce procedures can be quite thorough."

"Now, your wife thinks you want to become a girl in order to preserve your marriage, out of love for her. That's commendable. She appreciates that you've loved her as a man, and she's sure you'll love her as a woman. But she wants you to become a complete woman, at least in your heart, like her, a woman for whom the love of men as well as of women is as natural as breathing. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She waited for my reply. I nodded. She continued to wait, looking at me expectantly, so I said in a small voice, "Yes ma'am."

"And that's the kind of woman you want to become?"

I'd bargained to end up a lesbian, but I could see I wasn't going to escape this. "Yes ma'am!" I said again.

"Yes," she said, still with her eyes fixed on my face. "I'm sure you do. So we'll do our utmost to help you become what you both wish. But you should know that Dr. Lander thinks your willingness to become a girl, as you put it, is only a ruse to buy time to recover your wife, that you're insincere and unfit to live with decent women, that you belong on the streets. If we find that's true, we will certainly oblige her. That's why being 'willing' to change your gender isn't quite enough. Being merely 'willing' to become a girl doesn't give me quite enough guidance."

"I want to become a girl!" I blurted out devoutly. "More than anything! I want to stay with my wife! I want to become whatever she wants!" I glanced at my Elaine. She was now looking at me with pride in her eyes! And love? It was the right answer, finally, and I meant it! But at every turn I felt more and more boxed in!

"Really and truly? You'll have to want to, dear, with all your heart, because we can be pretty rough around here, and we expect to have your complete cooperation."

"Really and truly, Miss Caroline." I tried to compose my face, and smoothed my skirt a bit primly, then clutched my purse again. I really did. "With all my heart!" I still hoped that whatever they taught at this school could be unlearned, but I couldn't allow myself to think of that possibility just yet. I only wished my feet didn't dangle so. I felt just like a teenage girl.

"Then we'll get under way."

She pressed a buzzer, and a young woman in a pink nurse's uniform came in carrying a metal case, followed by a tall, well-built man in sweats. The nurse was pretty, and the guy handsome in a musclebound way. He looked at me and grinned.

"Now, Joy," Miss Caroline said. "We're going to grant you your wish." She paused, folded her hands, and went on. "Your mind and body need radical re-orientation -- girls, I'm sure you've noticed, are not at all like boys, in the things they like, in the ways they talk, even in the ways they move. We haven't got much time, so we use various deep-conditioning procedures I've developed -- hypnotic suggestion, subliminal instruction, mood-altering substances, rewards and punishments too. You'll see."

"Now, your wife doesn't want you to learn to enjoy pain, even though many wives feel hostile toward their husbands, so their husbands are trained to adore being whipped, and their wives love to oblige. Instead, you'll learn to seek the pleasure of seeing that the other women in your life are happy. In feeling delightedly filfilled when you're pussywhipped! But also to enjoy the pleasures of being a woman, knowing that's what you are!"

"Our methods are intense, traumatic, even painful. So much of the time we'll use a drug to blank out your memory, so you'll accept our treatments, and learn appropriate attitudes, but remember only bits and pieces of the process afterward. The way women sometimes remember an awkward adolescence. They can't be sure what they experienced and what they imagined. That's how you'll be during the entire time you're here. Some things you'll experience, and some things we'll persuade you are happening though in rality you'll be lying in bed in an hypnotic trance. Some things you'll watch on television and yet believe are happening to you. The process is continuous and finally, overwhelmingly persuasive. What's real and what isn't won't matter, as long as you think it's real, and your attitudes will change accordingly."

She smiled. "We have a conditioning regimen that can persuade you you're a topless lap dancer who has performed so outrageously and incited so much lust that you've been gang shagged repeatedly by an entire football team over a three day period. We can put you through that experience in a single night, all by yourself, as a singularly vivid dream, but you'll remember it man by man, cock by cock, stroke by stroke, even the last mopping up of the cum you imagine is pouring down your thighs when you finally stand up. Then if your wife ever wants you to take up lap dancing, you'll know how. You'll think you've done it. And if she wants you to take on an entire football team, you'll think you've done it already and enjoyed it, so you'll do it again and enjoy it. It may be weeks before you realize that the first time was an hallucination. But by then you'll have done it in fact, so the realization won't affect anything. You'll leave here thoroughly accustomed to all sorts of things your wife and Dr. Lander may want you to do, thinking you already are what they want you to become. Then you won't mind becoming whatever it is you think you are."

"But lap dance fantasies are for the sluts and whores we graduate. You yourself are expected to enjoy a more natural, graceful girlhood, Joy, from which you'll emerge as a confident woman. Not a brainwashed slave, not at all! Our proper women graduates know what they want and how to achieve it, and they want the right things, the things their wives or sponsors want for them. They really believe they are who they are. We're quite proud of that! Within a few weeks the effect wears off, but again, by then it won't matter. By then they'll have actually done the things they think they've done, and become the women they think they are."

She looked shrewdly at me. "Your wife wants you to leave here as her very best girlfriend, a solicitous and sprightly companion for her" -- she glanced at a paper in her hand -- "in all things. All things," she repeated. So that's what of course you'll become. And you'll learn to love it!"

"Meanwhile we'll give special attention to feminine appearance, training you in fact and imagination for the life you'll lead when you leave here, hopefully also a fit companion for Dr. Lander, and as a -- what is it your supervisor calls your new employment -- yes, a 'mall inspector.' But if you prove troublesome, remember, you'll leave here already persuaded that you're a downtown whore or call girl, ready to resume that life as if you'd never left it."

She stood up. "I'm sure you'll excuse me. I have two other women and their wives scheduled for this morning. We'll begin with Phase One right now. What is about to happen to you may well happen to you, or it may not. That doesn't matter. You'll remember it and learn from it -- that's what matters. Some things will seem difficult or humiliating, but for that very reason will encourage you to adopt more enlightened attitudes.. From now on, whatever you experience will be your reality. Flora!"

The young woman in pink stepped forward.

"This is Flora," Miss Caroline said, nodding to the girl in pink. "Flora, this darling girl is Joy. Flora's been assigned to you for the next three weeks to see that you do what you need to do when you need to do it, and to look after you. She'll give you shots every few hours for the next three weeks. Some are tranquillizers, some hallucinogens, some merely vitamins or booster hormones. You won't ever know which, and you won't care. What you see and feel and experience here will be whatever you think you see, and so forth. Maybe real, maybe not. After a few weeks everything will be real and unreal to you, and by then we'll have achieved our objectives. You'll have lots of memories to build from. Do you understand?"

Flora smiled. I nodded to Miss Caroline uncertainly. Before I even noticed, Flora pinched up some skin on my forearm, swiped it with cotton., and injected several cc of fluid into it. I waited to see if I felt odd. A little. Not much. Sort of comfortable but ... definitely, odd.

A second man suddenly lounged into the room, moving like a cat the way some well-trained athletes do, wearing skimpy shorts and a skin-tight tank top. He glanced at my wife and then at Miss Caroline.

"Sorry," he said to Miss Caroline. "I had an emergency call. A new girl freaked when his wife tried to feed him his balls raw while he was still having them removed. She actually got one crammed into his mouth before he realized what the doctor was doing to the other one. I suggested to her she wait for the cook to turn them into something tasty he can eat with pleasure. She might enjoy a bite or two herself!"

"That was good advice," Miss Caroline said. "Some wives lack patience, and allow their feelings to overcome them. Elaine, this latecomer is Duncan -- isn't he gorgeous? Duncan, this morning I want you to please Elaine while her husband watches." She gestured to the other man. "Joy, this is Steve. He'll be your man this morning. Steve, Joy is new here. Be gentle with her. But first let her watch her wife misbehave with Duncan."

Steve nodded. Miss Caroline cast a quick smile around the room, then added, "Or let her think she sees it! Let her even think she sees you!"

Then she disappeared through the door.

"I'm glad to make your acquaintance, Elaine," Duncan said to my wife. "My friends call me Dunk. Slam-Dunk, from the way I fill ladies' baskets when I'm excited. May I call you Ellie?"

"Please, Dunk," Elaine said, smiling up at him. "That's what my friends call me!" That didn't seem fair, but what could I say? Her tone then became flirtatious. "Slam-Dunk? As in basketball? Or, as in dipping doughnuts into coffee? Are you good at dipping things into warm, wet places?"

"I do everything well, Ellie." He grinned at her, teeth white in a a craggy tanned face, and he brushed back sun-streaked blond hair before holding out his hand to her. She took it. Then he didn't let it go. In fact, once they began looking directly into each other's eyes, they didn't let that go either. It got increasingly intense.

"Is here all right?" my wife asked, still looking directly at him. There was a small smile fixed on her face, like the one she'd had when she came into my room for her final fuck two nights ago. Like earlier, when she was pressing her body against me and telling me about her other men.

"Here's perfect!" he replied.

A bad dream then developed before my eyes, and then became a nightmare. Or maybe it was only a dream? Duncan sat down next to Elaine, and they embraced. His hands began to stroke her hair, then her back.

To my horror, Elaine preened back against his hand, then smiled and reached toward his crotch and began to rub it. Her eyes now looked adoringly into his. They kissed carefully. Then passionately.

"Isn't that just beautiful!" Flora said, standing next to me and watching, rapt. She paused. Then "Isn't it, Joy?" she asked, more insistently.

I tried to swallow the enormous lump in my throat. "Yes," I replied. I could barely get the word out. That was my Ellie! But maybe only my fantasy of Ellie? 'This isn't real,' I tried to tell myself, despite the evidence of my own eyes.

Then my wife lunged at him, and they fell back onto the couch plastered against each other, still kissing. My wife pressed her face onto his, her mouth open wide. His tongue had to be deep inside her. I was appalled. But I was even more appalled when Duncan reached both his hands under her skirt, grasped her hips, lifted her off him, and set her like some doll on her own feet. I saw her bush. She hadn't worn panties this morning!

He stood. She grasped the top of his shorts and in a single ferocious swipe pulled them down to his knees. He stepped clear, then sat down again. There rising from his lap was the biggest dong I have ever seen! Before I could look about to see who else was shocked by this obscene display, Elaine let out a moan of yearning anticipation, grasped that long prick, swung one leg over his lap, and knelt astride him with its tip just touching her pussy, her mouth clamped to his, kissing him deeply! Duncan leaned back to adjust his pelvis and then with one severe downward thrust Elaine buried him into her! All the way, all of it, all at once, deep inside! And shrieked! I thought it was pain, but when her body held tense for almost a full minute I realized it was an orgasm. She'd just come! Just from the way his cock felt as it entered and distended her vaginal passage!

She then lifted up and he pulled out of her, and I saw that huge thing glistening all along its whole length. Then he slammed it all the way up into her again, and this time she rotated downward to meet him, her face blissed out. This time I shrieked! But now my wife's face was welded to his, their eyes squeezed shut and their arms tightly wrapped around each other. They began to piston and roll and shovel their pelvises, their groins fused together and torn apart in the most obscene gyrations imaginable! Elaine seemed crazed -- high-pitched growls and grunts and squeals poured from her throat during this mad mating of crotches.

It was as if I weren't there! From the way she corkscrewed to speed his re-entries, and from the way she spread her legs wider to welcome him deeper, it was as though I'd never been there! Duncan was fucking my wife under my very nose, and she 'd forgotten everything but how she felt!

But was she?

No, not exactly under my nose! I looked down and now saw under my nose for the first time another monster-sized penis! I looked up. Steve's! He was standing in front of me and smiling down, waiting. I clutched my purse all the more tightly and looked around desperately.

"You see, sweetheart, you're not a man," he said in a kindly, even dreamy voice. "You were misinformed. That's a man over there, reaming out your wife's plumbing, and it's obvious that right now for her you don't exist. So re-invent yourself. Use that pretty mouth to show that you love being a woman!"

I looked about wildly. Flora was standing next to me, calmly waiting to see what I would do. I hesitated.

"You're a girl, Joy!" she said. "And that's a fella standing in front of you! With a beautiful cock hanging there. Only three weeks from now we want you to blow guys so skillfully they cum in their pants just from the way you look at them. But right now, just remember your diet. There in front of your face is the only lunch snack you'll see today!"

"Flora!" I cried out. "Is this real?"

"Of course!" she replied.

Loud slapping and sucking sounds were now coming from the couch where Duncan and Elaine were still humping together, both of them now groaning and screaming. Then came the most animal-like cry I have ever heard! A growl that rose to a wail, then a scream came from Elaine's throat! And the all while she writhed and twisted with that telephone pole deep in her, never pausing! Then a ululating succession of screams, as if they were high-pitched breathing!

She'd leaned so far back to shout to the ceiling that I thought she'd crack her spine. But then she resumed rhythmic moaning again. She'd just had another orgasm, towering, back breaking. Yet the two of them weren't even slowing down!

Something rubbery was now pressing on my lips. The head of Steve's cock. I looked up at him. He was looking benignly down at me.

"Beautiful!" he said. "See, you'll never be able to make her feel like that! Not that way. You're not a man. But maybe some day a real man will help you feel like that! Maybe it'll be Duncan! Or me! You have such beautiful eyes, Joy! Keep looking at me! Don't look away! Now kiss my cock! I hear you've already made some guy named Gary very happy. Make me happy too. Why should your wife have all the fun? Live a little!"

For some reason I couldn't let go of the purse I was still clutching in my lap with both hands. I just couldn't grasp Steve's cock with my hands as if it were my own, amd maybe bring him off that way. Still looking into his gentle brown eyes, I opened my mouth to tell him I couldn't help him, I just couldn't, but as soon as my lips parted his warm, silky cockhead flowed inside. I tried to push it out with my tongue, but it filled my mouth -- there was no room for my tongue to move! So I remembered what I had done with Gary the day before. I made my lips hard, and caught the ledge of that cockhead with my lips, careful not to nip it, and sucked it into my mouth. Then I began to headfuck him. Headmasturbate him, really, pulling on his cock by its crown with my mouth and bobbing my head up and down. Up and down my head bobbed, tugging his little head! Up and down!

"Ah," Steve said in a sibilant whisper. "Joy, that's just great! Do it, girl! More!" Since I wasn't going to find a way out of this, I sucked a bit more of him into my mouth, and bobbed up and down some more. This time my lips slid over satiny skin. His pelvis thrust back at me. Elaine's sounds from the couch grew louder, and Duncan began breathing heavily and hoarsely with her. My throat also began making pathetic, whining noises. The harder I bobbed up and down on Steve, the stronger grew a delicious feeling in my own crotch! Was I getting off on cock sucking this stud? I renewed my efforts, and the feeling down below grew stronger. He closed his eyes, a wide smile illuminating his face. I was making him happy! I sobbed through my nose! It felt so delicious in my own crotch! I felt so wonderful!

And then in a screaming, spurting, lunging frenzy Steve and Duncan and Elaine and I all came together! I too felt a monumental release of passion jet and spew and squirt out down below! Steve's groin suddenly pushed deep into my mouth and then held still, paralyzed. Then that monster penis slipped all the way out of my mouth for its first ejaculation, and white cum spurted all over my face. I remembered that I had to swallow it or starve, so I caught that great schlong up in my mouth again, and swallowed its spewing sperm gratefully until finally, drained, Steve withdrew himself.

Only then could I look down. There was Flora kneeling between my own legs, looking up mischievously, her cheeks bulging. She'd pulled up my skirt and pulled down my panties and sucked me off all the while I was sucking on Steve! Her technique had been so light, so unobtrusive, that I hadn't even noticed her the whole time, only the way I felt as her wet mouth worked me over. But I'd been made part of the whole orchestrated, frenzied, mass orgasm! She stood up and tilted my head back with her hands, then leaned over as if to kiss me. More jism poured from her mouth into mine! My own! Her face still close to mine, she muttered in a low voice, "Lovely, Joy honey. Just lovely. Later I'll show you a better way to do a huge prick with no hands." Even while blowing me she'd been observing me with Steve. I swallowed.

"Really, that was very good, sweetheart! I'm proud of you!"

Elaine's voice! Speaking to Duncan? He was now her "sweetheart"? As Flora's head left my line of sight and I was still swallowing down her transferred mouthful of my cum, I looked. It was Elaine speaking to me! She'd watched me suck Steve's cock even while Duncan was fucking her!

I felt shocked! She'd seen me servicing another man's penis! What must she think? How could she ever respect me again? Elaine was now sitting alongside Duncan, pressed close to him as before but now looking encouragingly at me. They were still breathing heavily, their faces flushed.

"You look so cute, honey, with Steve's cock poking into your mouth and your head bobbing up and down on him like a woodpecker! The look on your face was priceless! So helpless and desperate!"

She reached for Duncan's cock even while speaking, and began to pull on it almost absently, yet she never took her eyes off me. "You really need to relax more, though, to enjoy more of the sensations. Have you ever felt such silky skin sliding between your lips? The fresh flavor of pre-cum? Things like that? That sensation of power! Most of the time, when a girl has a guy's cock in her mouth, he'll do anything! Not these guys, they're special, but most of the guys you'll be meeting now that you're a girl. You're a darling cock sucker, sweetheart, there's no doubt about it! My own husband! Who would have thought it even a few days ago! Try to feel proud! Two men so far, and both of them satisfied! That's not bad for only your third day as a woman!"

I began to wipe the cum on my face off with my finger, then to lick my finger. What else could I do?

"Now look in your purse, and take out the small compact and lipstick you'll find there, and put some lipstick on your mouth as sensually as you can, as if you were refreshing yourself, as if you were utterly absorbed with making yourself look ravishing. That drives men wild at a time like this. Some will harden up immediately and then feed you dessert!"

At that moment Duncan leaned over and kissed her neck, and a great grin lit up her face. She threw her head back and her arm went around his neck, and her leg rose to wrap around his hips, and she was in ecstasy! All over! They were beginning again!

"Joy, dear!"

I looked over at Flora.

"Aren't you happy for your wife, that she's getting laid so thoroughly? That she's enjoying herself? Tell her!"

God! He was inside her again now, and her arms were languishing on his neck! She was covering his face with little nibbling kisses!

"Girls aren't jealous of each other'sex lives when they have their own. Tell her, dear!"

Steve had taken my hand and kissed it the way a gentleman kisses a lady's hand, then placed it gently against his penis and begun rotating it there. He was beginning to grow hard again.

Play along, I told myself. "Miss Elaine, I'm so glad you're getting fucked!" I said reluctantly, a little resentful..

But by now she wasn't listening. "Again, louder, Joy!" Flora said. Ellie was now on all fours, throwing her head from side to side while Duncan slammed that thing into her from behind, over and over. "Miss Elaine," I shouted at her, "You look great, getting fucked!"

"Never fucked like this!" she shouted aloud from deep in her throat, as if to herself, though maybe in reply to me. "Never like this! Never!" I marveled at how far forward she could coil her body before ramming it back into Duncan on his in-thrusts, and then twist to prolong that cock's movement back out of her quim.

"Joy honey!"

Flora was talking to me. I turned my eyes back to hers.

"This is how your days here begin. I'll give you your first shot of the day. Then Elaine and you will have sex together. Isn't that nice? Together but with different men, each of you each time. I'll tell you, this time is real enough. You were upset yesterday when you heard that your wife has enjoyed other men and women for a long time now, weren't you? Well, that's wrong. If you truly loved her you'd be delighted for her. And you'll want to be the best of friends with her, don't you? Loving friends?"

"That's why each morning for the rest of this week you'll watch her get well-fucked by some of the best hung men we have here. O think that's what's happening. And you'll learn from watching how she feels when she's royally fucked, and you'll long to feel the same way. She'll watch you having sex too, until you no longer feel ashamed but proud that you too can satisfy a man, that you too are a real girl. Trust me, when you leave here all those little male jealousies and resentments will be quite gone. You'll understand how silly they were. How selfish!"

"Now this time help clean her when she and Duncan are finished. Whatever flows down her thigh is yours, and whatever you suck out of her is yours too! You'll need all the nourishment you can get, remember. Then when you're done, I'll take you to your room and prepare you for classes in feminine deportment, dressing and make-up, and enjoying your 'look,' finding out who you are, learning little feminine tricks to please other women and flirt with men. You'll be quite the lady when you leave here!"

I wanted to object, but Steve's or my own thick sperm had stuck my lips together! By the time I'd licked them clean my wife was writhing her rear end into Duncan as he slammed that huge tube in and out yet again. I was no competition for a stud like Duncan! I'd never even been in the running! I felt sad and helpless. Elaine loved me, I knew. But I could see why she'd gone elsewhere for sex.

Still, I'd given her what no other man would ever give her! I'd offered to become a woman for her. Now I'd do it! I watched as the two of them rose to a crescendo. Elaine began to wail and scream again, and Duncan began to grunt out loud. I waited for them to subside, for Duncan to fall from her exhausted. But it didn't seem to be happening. I wondered how Elaine felt, twisting on his cock.

That was a new thought! I wondered how Elaine felt! How I'd feel if I were Elaine with all that meat being stuffed into me over and over! My cock stiffened! I wasn't sure!

Finally Duncan withdrew, his prick finally dangling glossy and limp but still impressive. I came forward timorously. Elaine was still crouched on all fours, her eyes glazed, breathing heavily, as I wriggled face up under her and positioned my head between her spread thighs. It was rank, that pussy just above! The lips were bloated and hung down! She must have noticed me, because she lowered her quim to my face, and I dove in, licking and sucking furiously. I wanted to be indispensable to her! No matter who fucked her, I wanted to be there for her, so she'd always want to return to me! She clamped her legs around my ears and head, and pushed her pussy deeper onto my face, and leaned way forward.

Then unexpectedly she mouthed my now-erect penis. We were sixty-nining, for the first time ever in our marriage! Duncan's cum poured out of her cunt as I lapped and slurped and sucked and licked her slit, yet I felt lovely feelings accumulate and rise up out of my crotch. So helplessly sweet! Francesca was right! Flora was right! I now shared that knowledge with Ellie. A woman giving a man a blow job can get him to do anything! Ellie had gotten Duncan to cum into her! I worked gratefully to tongue and suck all those slick fluids and syrupy gouts of cum Duncan had squirted and smeared into my beautiful wife's gorgeous pussy, and into the cracks of her delectable ass. The more I licked the better I felt! When finally I'd gotten it all she plunged her lips down to my cockroot, and that moment I came again! Uncontrollably! Then Elaine rose and turned, as Flora had done before her, and fed me my own cum from her own precious mouth! Tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks.

I lay on the floor, and Elaine rose to rearrange her clothes and to dress herself. As she pulled up her skirt she looked at me slyly. "You didn't expect anything like this, did you honey?"

"No, Miss Elaine. Not at all. I thought this was a school."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh? Well tell me, what did you learn this morning?"

I thought a moment. "That I'm not much of a man. That you prefer sex with men who are men. That I shouldn't be jealous, I should be envious, and want what you want. I should be more of a woman."

Elaine was impressed. "That's a lot for anyone to learn in such a short time, Joy. Think about how the two of us can make love together when you're a woman! With or without men! That already gives me delicious shivers. Did you learn anything else?"

I thought a moment. "That cum from different men tastes different. Duncan's from your pussy, and Steve's from his penis, and mine from Flora's mouth and yours, all different. And Gary's, of course."

Flora broke in. "Be sure to let us know whose cum you especially enjoy, so we can schedule him as a special treat when you've done something special. But now it's time for another shot. This one builds on the previous, so maybe you won't remember much afterward, but you'll remember some, and you'll remember all of the essentials. You'll watch lots of subliminals while it's working in you. Then each night you'll sleep it off, or maybe spend the night feeling yourself getting further conditioned."

"Each morning she's actually here your wife will be able to see for herself how you're progressing, what a really sweet, passionate girl you're becoming. Or you'll hallucinate that she sees it. And that's what you'll become."

I looked at Elaine. She was finished dressing, and had picked up her purse, preparing to leave. "Be good, honey!" she said. "Not that you have much choice!"

She gave me a quick goodbye peck on the cheek, and I was glad to see that all she gave Duncan was the pressure of her hand on his crotch and a smile. A nod to Steve and to Flora, and she was gone.

Flora took out another syringe. "Just a memory tranquillizer now. You'll be having your hormone implants soon, but you'll know about them only the way any young girl knows, by what then happens to your body. Mornings your mind will seem to be clear. Then the rest of the day, and how you get to bed, will usually seem a little vague. You'll remember some things, but you'll learn everything. It'll all seem perfectly natural. And I'll always be with you, taking good care that you benefit from everything we do for you."

"Thank you, Flora," I said, feeling a little helpless. "You're a pet!" Was that me talking like that?

She rubbed my arm with damp gauze, and inserted a needle. I didn't want to look, so I looked around. Duncan was gone. Steve had his fat cock out again. He was stroking it, and it was already projecting massively out of him, thick and rigid. He was looking me straight in the eye with a crooked grin. "Your ass this time, sweetheart! It'll hurt, but you won't remember, except that later you'll be happy we did it!"

I came to love that grin. I remember very little about my first real fuck, only an astonishingly full feeling that began in my rear and soon made me feel full everywhere. When I came, I cried out for him to pump deeper into me!

And that's all I remember about my first day at Miss Caroline's.
 
 
vii.
 
 
I have only vagrant recollections of the three weeks I spent at Miss Caroline's School for Girls, but I must say, I'm grateful to her for what she made me. I can't remember ever being happier than I am now.

Some memories are clear enough.

I remember a whole morning spent learning how to apply four different shades of eye shadow to each eye, and eye liner, and mascara, and curlers, how proud I was when finally I'd done it to Gail's satisfaction. Gail was my make-up and hair-do coach. "Not too whorey, sweetheart," she'd say. "But slather on as much as you can." It was wonderful. Huge baby-sized dark eyes that made my whole face seem smaller and my whole expression innocent. And when I gave my hairstyle a little flip I was sure was irresistible, I called up one of my boyfriends for a date to see if it would have the desired effect. It did. He certainly found me irresistible!

I remember after I'd been there a week or so, I'm not sure, I came down to our morning lounge to find that Miss Elaine was on a couch in a far corner making out with a slim young man with long blonde hair and a gargantuan cock, one that hung halfway to his knees, or would have hung there if it weren't stiff at attention halfway toward his chest. She was stroking his face while he titfucked her. "I'm just not sure, darling," she said to him dreamily. "That marvelous thing of yours might hurt me."

"I'll use your sweet little back door," the blonde young man said. "You're deep enough for me there. You'll love it!"

"I still don't know." She turned her head slightly toward me. "Joy, what do you think. Should I let him? I've hardly ever. Not even with you. It just doesn't seem right."

"Do it, honey. You'll love it and he'll love it! It's wonderful!"

Why did I say that?! I suddenly recalled that three men had been in and out of my back door non-stop over the weekend. I'd been ravished! By Sunday night my anus was so loose and open and accustomed that I'd slept right through another round of further fucking, they told me afterward. Cum was trickling out of a gaping space back there when I woke up, but I remembered none of it. Until now. Did it ever really happen?

"It's just glorious when a man's meat tucked in there," I confided to her. "But do let me do it too, after he's finished with you."

She turned toward me, surprised. "Why Joy, what do you mean? How can you do it to me? Your injections have ended your erections for good. Thet tell me you can watch me fuck all day without getting ideas in your head or unsightly bulges in your skirt!"

"No, not do it to you, honey. Have him do it to me! Let me take him into my ass after he's done you. I'll bet that stud there can go so deep into each of us we'd be able to lick his cockhead without opening our mouths." I smiled at my little joke. It was something the two of us could share as women!

But really, that idea was very appealing! I imagined that blonde young man penetrating my asshole and pausing, and I wriggled my bottom and shuddered at the thought of how it would feel. I wanted him to plunge into me right now! I wanted to share my wife's lover in order to satisfy her sexually!

What was the matter with me? Were those wisps of real memory of men fucking me real, or was I dreaming? Or was it conditioning, what I now imagined? I slept every night with earphones, seductive voices speaking in my head while I lay agreeably relaxed, listening, dreaming.

When I told her all that, Miss Elaine enjoyed the notion that a man exists somewhere who could penetrate our bodies all the way to our mouths. "Why Joy, you want to share my pleasures! That's very sweet! Is it all right with you, ahhh, Scott, that is your name isn't it?"

He beamed at her, then at me. "Terrific!" he said. "Yes, that's me! A double header with two beautiful women! But she'll have to lick me clean from you before I do her. Are you willing, Joy?" He smiled the most ingratiating smile at me. So young and so beautiful, he was. My heart melted. A Prince!

"All right, Scott!" I said demurely. I didn't want to spook him! "I'll want to lick her rear end anyhow when you're finished with her, I love cum!" I didn't tell him that in fact I was starved for cum! "So it's no trouble for me to sweeten you up for me too. A privilege! You're so very... long!"

I looked at that dangling cock with amazement and a shiver of anticipation, as any woman would. And with not the faintest twinge of envy or curiosity about what it would be like to have one, as any man would. I'd crossed a border somehow.

He then entered each of us in turn, each of us on our backs side by side, our legs draped over his shoulders. He used quick, short strokes with Miss Elaine, because that was the rhythm she established with him, eyes open and her mind far away elsewhere, until her grunts quickened into a wail and she bent over backwards to push her ass all the way up against his groin. "God, how deep," she said, breathless. "Never! Never!"

What she meant by "Never!" I soon found out myself. I was eager to feel him in me. In fact the thought left me breathless! After a pause for him to recover his virility -- almost immediately, it seemed, as I licked his pole up and down and up and it quickly stiffened -- he slid into me and began sliding in and out with long, easy strokes. It felt so good, I felt so satisfied that at first I threw my arms around his neck and covered his face with kisses. As it went on I lay back like a rag doll, my legs languishing on his neck, my whole body become one cunt, slick and surging on his prick, eager to give him joy. My eyes closed, I felt him straighten up and yet keep plunging into my ass, each time glorious. Then I felt the soft, satiny pressure of my wife's ass cheeks on my face, as kneeling over my neck she lowered her bung hole to my mouth and I drank and sucked it while still wriggling on my man's long pole! She wanted to be sure I was fed! I almost wept at her thoughtfulness! Such a darling dear!

I came in a deep, new way, my whole body clenching in visceral ecstasy, then relaxing. Then a few more strokes and I felt him pulsing into my bowels. I wished desperately that moment that the fluid he pumped into me could make babies, but that was one of the pleasures denied my womanhood. My womanhood! I was a woman now! Elaine lifted her haunches off my face and to one side, and I saw that she was so enamored of this beautiful young man that she'd wrapped her arms around his neck and was kissing him passionately.

"Enough, sweetheart," I said to her, amused. "I want to thank this darling man too!"

"You're not the least bit jealous?"

"Jealous after the greatest fuck of my life?" I smiled at the silly thought. "Whatever for?" I kissed him. "Thank you, dear," I said to him. "You're gorgeous!"

"You're very welcome," she said absently. "Any time at all."

"I hope so," I said. And I did hope so! I too was amazed by how I felt. But there was no denying it. The very next day Miss Elaine phoned up to ask me to look especially pretty for her when I came to our therapy session. I did. Then when we'd each given our men both heads and tails and they'd bid us farewell and left, she took an enormous dildo out of a bag she'd brought, strapped it on, and reamed it into me. Its way in was oiled by the cum still oozing from me, and I was in heaven! "It's like when I do it with Becky," she whispered to me. "Do you like it?"

"Oh," I replied in tears. "I love it! Please! Do it to me forever!"

"No fear, sweetheart," she said. "I am. I will. Over and over!"

I remember how frustrated I felt when, one morning, having arranged my entire outfit around brown and gold, a gold chain broke as I was clasping it around my neck, and the effect was ruined. I changed to purple with silver accessories, but purple is really not my color. Then I had to change my nail polish and lipstick so they wouldn't clash. I was grateful that when I arrived for my morning session, my wife was pre-occupied with Kevin and didn't look up until Jerry and Chris had already stripped me naked, and each had entered me at each end. I always wanted to look my best, and I was such a mess! Why can't they make gold chains stronger?

Some other memories of my stay at Miss Caroline's are dream-like, fragmentary and vague.

I remember Duncan telling me while I was licking his cock that he had never gone down on a pussy. He wondered about people who wanted to. "Lesbians do it," I explained to him. "And men who love girls." "Which are you?" he asked me. I didn't know. I couldn't say anyhow, because at that moment he filled my mouth with jism. I wanted him to go down on my pussy, but I didn't have one yet.

I remember despite the tranquillizers that usually kept me so calm, so cheerful, I became terribly upset once when my hair was all flyaway and wouldn't smooth down, and I had a date with Brian. "That's the part of me he'll be looking at most of the night!" I cried in tears. "And it's a mess! What'll he think of me?" I was so grateful to Flora for bringing in a set of hot rollers and showing me how to use them! But the next day I couldn't remember much about the date. I couldn't even recall knowing anyone named Brian. He may have been a figment of hypnotherapy. But I do remember how my heart swelled up and overflowed with joy when I came down and he stared at me and told me I was beautiful. I felt so terribly happy just then! We went dancing, and I took him into the Ladies Roon to blow him.

I remember Flora once came into my room with two huge enema bags and never explained why, and we spent a delightful two hours as she pumped me full and then allowed me to empty myself out, then pumped me full again, until the water all ran clear. "Douche before every date, dear, remember! And again after!" I always did, of course. But this time she added, "Especially before any date with the doctor!" She pushed the nozzles in and out playfully, and then worked a long dildo into me, and turned it on so it throbbed and vibrated, and I came yet again. We giggled and pretended it was Scott, the thin blonde man whose garden-hose cock had been so deep inside me earlier that day. Then when she inserted a suppository, I fell into a deep, untroubled sleep.

I didn't fully wake up until the next afternoon, and when I did I was ravenous! "Bring me some men!" I called out, only half-joking. "I'm starved!" Flora poked her head in and said amused, "Joy, please, remember that you're a lady!" Then men appeared, and I deep-throated two in a row before pausing to enjoy the third more slowly, languorously, sucking and lifting my eyes up to him coyly as I'd been taught, like a nursing baby grateful to its mother. He was so pleased he rewarded me with two loads of cum.

I was on my back all that time, and in a shortie nightie I didn't remember from the night before. And I was utterly hairless, even my chin and underarms! When I lifted myself to my elbows after the third man kissed me and left the room, I realized for the first time that my chest felt sore. And my bottom. No, not my bottom, my balls! I rang for Flora, and when she saw me on my elbows she lowered me gently back to the bed. "Tomorrow, dear! You need still one more day to recover, but you'll be fine tomorrow!" She gave me an injection.

When I woke it was dark, and when I woke again it was daybreak. I lay there, wriggled, and everything felt fine. No soreness!

I remember lessons in how to look sweet and pretty. How to have good taste, selecting shoes and handbags that harmonize with my outfit, and heels and skirt lengths appropriate for different occasions and times of day. How to create voices for different occasions, cooing, sighing, squeaking excitedly, speaking imperiously or casually, but all thoroughly feminine. How to do my hair in a neat everyday setting or put it up in high style, and makeup for both kinds of occasions. Which bras to wear with decollete necklines so my new breasts would show cleavage instead of merely jutting well forward as they usually did, now that they were real breasts, part of me.

How to appreciate the finer points of my wife's other lovers -- each morning I watched Miss Elaine screwing a different man, sometimes on videotape. She then shared with me how she felt about each while I cleaned him out of her, what she'd done with each to please him, or to get him to please her. I dreamed once that she took on three men at the same time, and when she visited we giggled together about how the one in her ass and the one in her pussy were really rubbing their peckers against each other together through the thin membrane separating her anus from her vagina -- they never knew they were really bringing each other off! Men could be so dense sometimes! Sometimes while I watched Miss Elaine and her stud-of-the-day at work Flora sucked gently on my penis so I'd feel good about it. But Miss Elaine enjoyed herself so much I felt good just imagining I was Miss Elaine.

Miss Caroline invited me in for an orientation all by myself. "Flora tells me you've finally confessed to her that when you were growing up you were a girl in a boy's body, envious of all the other girls when they developed their figures and you didn't. That all your life you've been a woman in a man's body." She smiled at me reassuringly. "That now you really want us to help you become what you've always been."

It was true the moment I heard her say it! Of course! That explained why I couldn't look at any of the men here at Miss Caroline's without wondering what they would feel like hugged close to me, or more slyly, thrusting into me. Why I loved having my hair done, and just adored dressing up for dinner even when dinner consisted of only a single impersonal cock come to call on me in the lounge, barely interrupting my reading of ads in Vanity Fair and Harper's Bazaar.

I broke down then for the first time in my life, and cried tears of real joy that she understood me! After all those years of guilty suppression. "Yes! Yes, it's true! I've been so ashamed! But it's true! That's what I am! Please, please help me!" I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. She knew my secret, and she wanted to help!

She leaned toward me and clasped my hands between hers. "We're here to help you, Joy! You want our help!" I agreed. "You want breasts to enhance your figure immediately, don't you." I agreed. "And special hormone implants to replace your testosterone production." I agreed. "A bit of facial reconstruction, not much, wider eyes and cheekbones perhaps, and a smaller jaw?" I agreed. She asked me to sign something. I agreed. She commented then, "Oh yes, the women in your life are both C cup sized. But I've recommended that your chest enhancement be B sized for a while, not C. There's no doubt your hormonal implants will fill you out to a C cup when all's done. Your wife agrees that B cups will be just fine, a bit small for your frame, but enough to keep your bras filled and to give you an attractive-enough figure, when you want to look attractive."

She smiled reassuringly at me, woman to woman. "Doctor Lander wanted DD for you, so you'd emerge from here something of a freak. She sounded a bit spiteful, Joy -- you should do some fence mending with her, if you can. I refused her. Because my girls always emerge from here looking like respectable women, never like freaks. Even the cum-crazy whores."

"Thank you," I told her. "But I already have breasts. I love them!" I looked down at them and there they were, swelling out the front of my lovely scoop-neck knit T-shirt. I wasn't wearing a bra, and they bobbled and felt wobbly and full as I lifted them up! My men would adore them! When I looked back at Miss Caroline she was nowhere to be seen. I wasn't even in her office. Had I daydreamed the interview?

I did dream one night that I had to spend most of one night licking and sucking and stroking some horse's penis, a long, fat, red, glistening thing. After he came they let me return to my own bed, and I fell asleep contentedly smacking my lips.

One morning I was running a little late, so I hurried down to the lounge where my Sex Therapy sessions took place, and was surprised to find only Elaine sitting there waiting for me. No men.

"Couldn't they wait?" I asked, checking my watch. I was only five minutes late! Guys! A quick glance in the mirror -- my hair was perfect now! "Isn't that a pretty blouse, Miss Elaine! I haven't seen it before! That lacework at the collar is so delicate!"

She dimpled and beamed. "Yes, isn't it? I thought the collar might be a little much, but the saleswoman assured me it wasn't. I love these new pastel shades. But I must say, that skirt is so becoming on you, Joy! That's a new style for you, isn't it? Long and narrow? It gives your figure a positively willowy look! You've look as if you've lost at least ten pounds these past weeks, haven't you?"

It was my turn to beam. I postured, thrusting out one hip and tossing my hands, pleased, and then sat down next to her on the overstuffed couch gracefully, knees together, as the skirt required. "I have lost weight! Twelve pounds, so far. It'll be fifteen by the end of the week. Thank you, I just love this skirt too! When I get home I'm going to throw out all of my shorter skirts and dresses, and keep only the minis or the long ones like this!"

Elaine heard this with an ingratiating smile and said nothing. She knew I had no women's clothes at home at all, only the men's clothes she'd packed up and given away. But she also knew that my deep-conditioning enriched me with virtual memories of an earlier life as a woman, sometimes even the realization that I was born female and had never been anything else.

New memories flooded back to me every day! "You've always worn your hair clipped up high in back, ever since you were a girl in the tenth grade, when you were delighted to see that it had finally grown long enough," I told myself one day while putting it up. "Maybe it's time for braids or a ponytail?" But mostly I wore it down. It greatly improved my cocksucking techniques and my seductive flirtatiousness with my studs, for example, when I could recall shaking my long hair on my first boy friend's hard on - I was so shy with him -- and when I was reminded that I'd spent four full high school years dating guys every weekend, doing and looking whatever was required to remain popular with them. I was such a silly twit! I cherished the memory of a heavenly, utterly romantic defloration one Spring night by a gorgeous man. I was wearing my favorite chiffon dress, the one with with large pale flowers and a full skirt. My hair was still long then, and worn loose, bound with a single satin ribbon. Those guys! A whole football team! I dated three of them for a while, afterward. Flora said I was confusing the memory of a beautiful loss of virginity with a gang-rape conditioning tape Miss Caroline had played me my first day. But I indignantly refused to believe her.

I was sorry when that memory faded after a few days, as all my memories did eventually after achieving their intended results. I now moved through all sorts of real difficulties with flair and confidence. That's where I'd arrived when I encountered Elaine alone, really alone this time, sitting and waiting. I was feeling poised and self-assured.

"There aren't any men scheduled for us today," she said. "I want to spend the whole time alone with you this morning, honey. It's been three days since we've seen each other. I've been waiting for you to heal."

"Oh?" I didn't understand what she'd said. But that often happened.

"Let me see them, sweetheart!"

"See what, Miss Elaine? I didn't bring anything with me this morning."

"Your breasts. Unbutton that blouse and take off your brassiere!"

I blushed. "They're only breasts," I said. "The same kind any girl has. A little bigger in my case, because...." I stopped. I wasn't sure what I meant to say. I could feel them, swelling and soft, and my hand brushing on my suddenly engorged nipples as I unbuttoned my blouse and reached behind to unhook my brassiere felt sooo very delicious. It gave me twinges in my clit, and I began to feel amorous. Toward Elaine! She'd never seen them. In all the years we'd been married, I'd never shown her!

I had to make up for it! "Here, sweetheart, would you like to suckle me?" Now they were out, and exposed, and I could see them, they looked huge. Heavy! When did I get these? My adolescence? I couldn't remember! I lifted one up toward Elaine's mouth as she settled contentedly against me, her mouth and tongue working my nipple, first one, then after ten minutes or so, the other. It felt wonderful. My darling! I cradled my Elaine as her mouth pulled on me. I wished I had milk for her. I told her that.

"We'll decide that later, sweetheart. When you've finished growing these, a few extra hormones like prolactin will bring in your milk. I'm glad you like them! I love mine!"

She kissed and suckled one nipple while caressing the other. It felt so very feminine! I didn't want her to stop ever. It was like having two extra cocks, both sucked and stroked together! Heavenly!

I suddenly remembered! When was it Flora sat my bedside when I awoke? "You want larger nipples, sweetheart?" she asked?

Yes.

Then I was awake. I'd looked down and sure enough, there they were! Beautiful! I was overjoyed! They were so fat, almost like teeny fingers. Huge? And pointy! I reached down and touched one nipple. Exquisite, I felt an electric shock all the way down to my clit and my pussy! Clit? What clit? I reached down between my legs. There was my prick, that familiar soft worm with deep feelings, and there were my testicles as always, though today they were feeling sore.

"I just got these a few days ago, didn't I?"

Elaine looked up from tonguing my nipples and appraised my expression.

"That's right, honey. Do you mind?"

I smiled down on her maternally. "Of course not, sweetheart. What kind of a woman would I be without breasts?"

And for the next hour she nursed on them, my baby, and I felt just wonderful! I smiled down on her, and tenderly kissed the top of her head.

Elaine was so wonderful! She was my dearest girlfriend, and had been ever since fifth grade! We'd been together through so many pyjama parties, and shared so many secrets, and crushes, and broken hearts. We'd gone shopping together when our mothers bought us our first formal gowns, and the last Saturday night of the summer we were both 15 we agreed we'd each suck off our dates. Then giggling, we told each other all about it afterward. It was so funny, and so silly! Elaine's date didn't want her to do it, he was embarrassed because it curved, but she'd insisted!

Together we'd daydreamed what it would be like to nurse our own babies at our breasts when we grew them. And how we'd flaunt them in low-cut gowns when we wanted to bring men to our feet. Once when we were just out of college and working as secretaries we picked up two hunky guys in a bar just for the fun of it, and took them back to the apartment we shared together. Then for two days we worked them over and used them up, not one more drop of juice or desire to be squeezed out of them. When they couldn't even move we pretended we were mad and called them pussies and threw them out! I remember how funny it was, sending them back to their own girlfriends wearing our panties and reeking of our perfume!

Would a date be willing to suck on my clit hoping that I'd then grant him entry into my pussy? That I'd give him something to fuck as well as suck? Why not? When I was only twelve a sweet boy named Ira begged me to let him to kiss my pussy, and finally I relented. It was nice. I'd wondered what else he'd do if I asked him.

"Becky will be amazed," Elaine told me. "She certainly should see for herself how far you've come."

Had I said anything aloud? Rebecca will tell me what? I lay there with my precious darling in my arms until Flora came in with her night-time shot, adjusted myy earphones, and turned out the light.

I remember dancing backward in Steve's arms in a very smart red dress and high, high heels, insouciant, eyes sparkling, never more alive and vibrant than that moment, then sixty-nining him in his car in the parking lot from sheer exuberance. When we both came he begged me to let him fuck me in my pussy, not in my ass the way we usually did it. I smiled and told him, "Yes," so he did.

When I woke up I pressed the buzzer to call Flora. But this time, instead of Flora Miss Rebecca came into the room! "Hello, sweetheart!" she said. "I haven't seen you for a while! Still faking that you want to be a woman?" She was mocking me, but the whole time she was smiling down on me affectionately! What was this?

"What do you mean? I asked a little indignantly! "What are you talking about? I *am* a woman!" I was surprised to hear me say it. But it was so!

"I know that, honey," she said reassuringly. "And now you do too. First you had to persuade yourself that it was a good thing, and I guess you did that by fucking and sucking all those men. How many?"

"Lots," I replied smugly. "I've done it all my life! A girl who can't say no. I just can't help it. Elaine was right, men can be just wonderful!"

"Well, you're certainly not much of a husband, watching your wife enjoy herself with all those men. She's been having such a good time, getting you used to that idea! What you two see in those hairy piles of muscle I'll never know, but you do, and I can't quarrel with that. As long as you like girls too."

And she leaned over the bed and kissed me! And touched my clit and began to stroke it. It felt so good!! She kept it up all through her next revelation to me.

"All those tapes you've been listening to in your sleep have helped too. I know, I helped Miss Caroline prepare them, and she really is a world expert in that kind of persuasion. And you've been listening to Miss Elaine's voice telling you all sorts of things ever since you took those enemas and we began those operative procedures. All last week while you were slept and your incisions were healing. Still, the hypno-conditioning was only part of it. You have a vagina now, don't you? Yes, I thought so, even though it's still anatomically displaced to your rear. We'll soon fix that. And this is your clit, right? Yes. No way an erectile penis any more, and a little long, but we'll fix that too in good time. And you now have lots of soft, affectionate feelings you're pleased to have, don't you, now that you're a woman. Because you're a woman, right?"

I smiled at her. "It's so wonderful!" I replied.

"I have more wonderful news for you! You know those testicles you were so anxious to protect? Your so-called balls? Well, they aen't altogether what they were! Essentially you aren't a man down there at all any more. Those nasty things pouring out sperm and testosterone and making you feel mean and edgy and hostile and competitive, your testicles? Remember them? They're all gone now! Instead you've got implants in your scrotum pouring estrogen, progestin, all sorts of goodies into your bloodstream. Now you can't help but become the woman you said you wanted to be, not unless you castrate yourself! Rounder hips and buns and softer lines in your face, and a smooth complexion, and bigger breasts, and a much nicer disposition. There's a tranquillizer in there too, to keep you content with all those changes as they occur."

"As the implants dissolve they'll get smaller and disappear, and that's when we'll talk about using the empty pouch as labia for your neo-vagina. My dear, Joseph is gone! You'll never compete with me again for Elaine's love. You weren't much of a man, and now you're none at all. But you'll be such a good girlfriend for her when she wants a man! Guys come in pairs usually, you know. Go to sleep now, and dream about how nice that'll be! When you have a real pussy you can take on two men at once, the way Elaine does sometimes. You two together could double-date with four men if you wanted. Six, come to think of it. Now that would be real sharing, wouldn't it?"

She sounded mocking, but it was hard to tell. She rubbed my clit some more, and I closed my eyes and arched my back and in a minute more I had an orgasm! That same clenching into glory and release into the sweetest calm! No spurting involved or necessary -- my clit stayed soft the whole time, with barely any emission! Heavenly! I was a woman! Why in the world should I have ever wanted to be anything else? I felt so grateful to Rebecca that I reached out to hug and thank her. But all I found was a man standing with his cock in my face waiting to feed me breakfast.

I may have dreamed it, but one morning when I came into the lounge, Elaine wasn't there. Instead, there was Rebecca sitting there at her ease, arms and legs spread wide apart, stark naked, with Flora bent over her crotch and kissing and sucking and licking it. Respectfully, as if servicing a Queen. I watched them for a minute and felt my cheeks begin to flush. My clit twitched, and my pussy spasmed! It looked so good!

"Do you want to kiss me, Joy?" Even naked, Rebecca spoke with imperial authority. She seemed so strong, so sure of herself! "Would you also like to pay your respects to my pussy?"

"Yes, Miss Rebecca!" I said. "Oh, yes!" I longed to do just that!

"Of course you would. That's what your tapes told you all last night. Well girl, come taste my pussy. It's yours!"

Flora moved out of the way, and I knelt down respectfully between Rebecca's legs, and I buried my face in her! It was so good, being one woman tasting another! So very good! I just loved it! It felt so affectionate. So sweet! When I was a man with my head between her legs it was demeaning! But this was ... delightful. Nice. So very right! I closed my eyes!

When I woke up, again Flora told me that Dr. Lander and Elaine had arrived and were waiting for me downstairs.

They were conferring with Miss Caroline. There was now no question of selling me to one of the pimps who worked the seedier bars in town. My re-education was nearly complete. I had been a transparent fraud when I arrived, they all knew that, a scheming manipulator stalling for time, ready to do anything to recover my wife from her girlfriend. That I'd submit to anything was fortunate for me. If I'd resisted treatment I might well have ended up one more mind-damaged whore turning tricks, taking drugs to help persuade me I was really a woman who enjoyed men, but always nagged by doubt. But now I knew it, I really was a woman. I was sincere. I was now welcome to live as a guest in my own home, taking care of it for them. In fact, the last few days of my training would teach me stitchery and other such repairs, but also an entirely new skill, the pleasure a woman can derive from dominating men. So I could really enjoy my new job, not merely surveying various malls and mall managers but also persuading them to build larger facilities. I'd be well-qualified.

I liked that. So my last few days at Miss Caroline's were spent learning how to keep her hired studs at the edge of orgasm, moaning for relief, and worrying them by touching my teeth to the edges of their cock-crowns. I was amused by how easily a girl can toy with a man's desires when she wants. Scott was something of a pretty boy. I made sure he knew it by making him wear lipstick and a bra and making him blow a huge weightlifter named Mark. A day later he told me he'd done it again on his own!

The morning I dressed to leave Miss Caroline's with Miss Elaine, I felt so deliciously wicked I wore black satin panties, and so naughty that my scanty black bra could barely restrain my bobbing tits. Then I seduced Flora right there in my bedroom. A farewell gift to her! When I rose to slip into my dress, and she was still stretched out on my bed with her pussy sucked raw, I heard her breathe out that she'd never felt so good.

"That's lovely, dear," I told her. "I enjoyed it too. Thank you for taking care of me all these weeks! I've loved every minute!"

"You're most welcome, Joy honey. You've been a doll the whole time!"

"Yes," I replied. "I found that out!"

I'd become one. I'd already forgotten why I came here. And forgotten lots more too, even the moments I'd treasured only a few days ago. Miss Caroline told me those memories were only aids to rehabituation, that my whole time at her establishment would fade out of mind as a new sense of myself and my new life filled my days.

"Let me remind you, Joy," she said gently. "You used to be a man. You were Elaine's husband for six years. But you agreed to become her girlfriend instead, so she'd be willing to keep living with you. So you could go out and pick up guys together, and then have fun telling each other all about it afterward, the way girlfriends do. Because her other girlfriend doesn't like to pick up guys. You do, now."

I nodded. I wanted to be her girlfriend so we could live together. Be intimate together. Pick up guys and enjoy them together.

It was important that I keep doing what she'd trained me to want to do, Miss Caroline went on, or I'd revert to old male habits and desires. But my girlfriend Elaine and her girlfriend Rebecca would keep me on the right path, she was sure.

I'm glad I've retained even the few real memories I've just jotted down here. If any of them are real memories. Not that it matters.
 
 
viii.
 
 
On our way back home from Miss Caroline's, Miss Elaine and I went shopping. I was wearing the gray suit I'd worn to the office the day I first came out of the closet as my true self and confessed to everyone that I was a really a woman. I needed everything! I needed two of everything! As Miss Elaine explained to me, "Until she becomes a mother, every woman is really two women, or would like to be. The first is a capable professional woman, fashionable, maybe even elegant, poised and at ease and tastefully groomed, very much herself, graciously but firmly guiding others toward whatever she wants. Comfortable on all occasions."

"I like that," I said. "It sounds like fun."

It reminded me of my last few days at Miss Caroline's. The men who'd taught me the joys of being a woman had first seemed intimidating, but then they became desireable, then companionable. During the last few days I'd found they could be something else still -- servile. It was easier than I'd imagined, instructing them to do what I wanted instead of consenting to their wants. My last memories of Duncan and Scott were of both of them at my feet licking my toes, while Jeffrey -- a local college boy they'd brought in for apprentice training -- knelt in front of me and kissed and licked my clit to orgasm. That seemed about right, I decided. Even the lowest woman in the feminine pecking order ought to be able to order men to worship her.

"Good," my wife said. "I'm glad. It is fun. Because that's what you'll be at the office and also when you're doing your inspections. It's all in what you think you are. Then in what you think they are whether they know it or not. The only way to keep men from taking advantage of you is by taking advantage of them first."

My former Ellie seemed to know a lot more about these matters than I'd have guessed a month ago. A month ago, I realized, I didn't know her at all.

"The second kind of woman every woman likes to imagine herself is a sexual being, glowing with desire, eager for it. The kind of woman we've both been most mornings during the past three weeks." She paused and glanced wickedly at me. "Some mornings. And I've been more sexual than you knew for a lot longer than that!"

"Yes," I said with a conspiratorial grin, as if it hadn't been me she'd been deceiving for years. She smiled back appreciatively. It was a lovely moment of shared understanding. I loved it, that she'd felt free to pleasure herself with other men, that when I was her husband I never suspected! Neither of us needed to say a thing!

She then spoke seriously, as if imparting an important secret. "Elegant or sluttish, Joy, a woman should remain in charge. Every woman you've met since all this began has shared that secret with you. Even if you're some man's sex kitten, if you know who you really are you'll know how to get what you want from him."

We reached her favorite upscale shopping mall and parked. I concentrated on getting out of the car gracefully in my heels -- I'd been a man on his way to his hairdressers and then to his office when I'd last done that. Afraid to be recognized as a man while wearing Rebecca's business suit with its short skirt. Tense and distracted, ashamed but afraid to show it. Now I felt comfortably myself, neat, feminine, still young and pert, looking at the world as a basket of wonderful opportunities for...something. I had the mind and memories of a woman. Or at least some of the reflexes. I wondered if women's suits come with much shorter skirts.

A thought suddenly occurred to me. "Miss Elaine," I began.

"Just 'Elaine' when we're being two girls together, honey. 'Miss Elaine' is if we keep you as a housemaid and there are guests present."

"All these different names," I merely observed. Women don't say outright what they think -- it sounds too forward. I'd learned that.

But women hear each other. "It won't be much longer, sweetheart!"

She'd said it as if absent-mindedly. I glanced at her. Did it mean she'd be leaving me despite everything? That was no longer a frightening thought, but it was certainly disappointing. I still loved her, and I was still looking forward to sharing our lives with other men. She however was looking just ahead at a Talbot's, her mind concentrating on something else. I decided to let it pass.

I returned to my original thought. "Elaine, why is it that this gray suit just happened to be in Rebecca's car when we arrived that first day, and happened to fit me?"

She just looked it over as we walked toward the store's open doorway. "It's a little large on you now, honey. You were a 14 when Becky and I bought it for you, down from 18, remember? Now you're a scant 12! You have a lovely waistline!" She smiled conspiratorially at me again. "All that cum certainly agrees with you! You look radiant. The way women look when they're pregnant!"

"That's my estrogen level, Elaine. You remember? My new testicles?"

She smiled, shrugging. I'd agreed to it. It was done. There was nothing to say.

"I'm not complaining. I love it, my complexion, and the figure I'm developing. And ... everything else. But about this gray suit. It's cute and it's trendy, and some of the girls complimented me on it when I wore it to the office a few weeks ago. But how did Rebecca -- Miss Rebecca -- happen to have it in her car? In my size, not hers. She's a 12. The blouses I pressed and hung away for her the next day were all 12s."

Elaine stopped walking for a moment. She turned and looked at me and said, slightly impatient, almost chiding me. "Joy, don't think for a moment that any of this just happened! Becky and I did what we decided and you did what you decided! And so far it's been working out fine!"

"What do you mean?"

"Later!"

We had arrived at the first of many boutiques.

All of the clothes we bought that day were ...authoritative. A clingy spandex and silk cocktail dress that draped across my bust as if I were a Grecian maenad, but in black, not white. A teeny, tight leather miniskirt with thigh-high spike-heeled boots to match, and a leather bustier to go with it, but in white, not black. "This is more suitable for more occasions than black, I think you'll find," the salesperson told us. "It's celebratory as well as errr...dominant. And" -- she smiled at the thought -- "innocent, too."

"Do you have a whip in white leather to match?" I asked her with a perfectly straight face.

"Joy!" Elaine said, as if shocked as well as amused. "Behave!"

Several long street dresses with pencil thin skirts, some wide, pleated peasant skirts and several more minis, a skin-tight pair of designer jeans and some scoop-necked T-shirts ("for gardening, and for harvesting eyeballs when your tush becomes as luscious as your tits," Elaine explained). Several more business suits, a bit more hi-styled than the one Rebecca had somehow provided me, a bit risque even. "You can buy special occasion dresses yourself when you go mall crawling, and can see the sorts of men you'll be dealing with," Elaine commented when I stopped to admire one. "But only one really whorish outfit, only for that occasional special date with someone really funky. Any company whore I live with is going to look respectable!"

And lingerie. Elaine insisted I buy only the most delicate, the prettiest and most wonderfully frilly, though I was shocked at the price. And shoes and a purse, and other accessories. We decided that would do for now.

"Can we go home now?" I asked. "It's mid-afternoon, and I need to get off my feet. I haven't been home for three weeks, remember. Be it ever so humble."

"All right," Elaine said. "We'll rest up, and then tonight we'll go out again together to celebrate the new you. Maybe we'll go trolling."

"I'd like that," I said, half understanding what she meant. "Will Miss Rebecca join us?"

"She's busy," Elaine replied. "I have something else in mind. There's something we need to do. The sooner the better."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yes," was all she replied. I knew better than to press her.

Even so, I was surprised, as I got out of my shower early that evening, powdered, primped and fragrant, and was taking down my new little black classic dress, when she told me "The white leather I think, honey. With the boots. I've laid it all out for you."

"Not the black? This is slut night, not high style night?"

"That's right!" she said. "Lay on the eye make-up, too! Oh, and for fun, plan to wear this. You'll feel less inhibited." She held out a blonde wig, sort of cute in its way, round and curly. Bubble-headed. Ditzy. "You'll enjoy everything more, if we get lucky. Pin it so it can't possibly come off. You know the eye shadow shades that go with this?"

"Yes, of course," I replied, staring at it. "But why the wig? Francesca's hairdo is still...."

"Because blondes have more fun," she said shortly. Again, she wasn't prepared to tell me. So be it. Then, "So it'll be quite impossible for anyone to recognize you."

"I don't mind being recognized, now," I said. "The old Joe is gone. Now I'm Joy to the world!"

While I was smiling over my pun, Elaine simply said, "Someone might mind recognizing you, babydoll." Then she disappeared into the shower herself.

She certainly did mean for me to be a mantrap! When she reappeared in my room fully dressed I was putting the final strokes onto the outfit she'd laid out for me. Silver chain necklaces lay across my upthrust breasts as they bulged out of my leather bustier, and instead of the white stockings that might have toned down my white leather outfit I was wearing black with silver-metallic glinting. Thigh boots as high-heeled as they were long! Talk about sluttish?

Yet she was herself wearing a simple, elegantly tasteful little black dress of her own, the one with a high black satin collar. Attractive, but not especially sexy. I raised one of my arched, overplucked eyebrows. She ignored it.

"That's my girl!" she said with a huge smile. "I knew that miniskirt would be perfect! Glove leather! Look how softly it drapes over your crotch, tucking into your pussy! Or it would if you had one. Which reminds me, are you well-gaffed?"

"Yes," I said. "And I've douched too, the way I've done it for weeks now when I've expected that men might request certain favors. No need to ask. Why do you ask?"

"Because tonight, lover, I want you free-swinging. Let your properties all hang out. Take off the gaff! Take off those french lace panties too. As I told you, I don't want you feeling inhibited in any way!"

"This is a very short skirt," I said, doubtful of the proprieties.

"I know!" Elaine replied. "I know! Trust me on this, lover! Oh, and pop this. Only a mild tranquillizer. Nothing to slow you down." I did.

As we settled into the car, Elaine driving, she looked me over once again. I tugged my skirt down to cover the tip of my cock, which was just barely hinted at the edge of my hem. "Perfect!" she said, noticing. "I want you a little bit exposed! And those huge eyes go perfectly with your hair. You look like a woman without a care in the world or a thought in your head!"

"Thank you," I said, genuinely pleased. "Wherever we're going tonight, honey, I hope you'll remind me to act like a lady in case I forget. I still don't know if Miss Caroline took me to a proper restaurant while I was there, and taught me how to behave,,or if she only told me that was what she was doing.

"Oh, you'll know what to do tonight," she said. "Not all of the men who've been in your ass lately have been imaginary!"

Which didn't exactly seem to answer what I had asked her.

We pulled up to the main entrance of the nicest hotel in town, and when the valet parking attendants saw us they leaped to open our doors. Elaine gave hers a huge, beaming smile, so I did the same with mine, but in the special way I'd been taught. He'd been grinning at me in a welcoming sort of way, almost leering. I swept my eyes up his body from his knees to his forehead, pausing en route at his crotch. Then I looked him in the eyes and said, "Thank you, I always enjoy young men like you," and smiled as brilliantly as I could. His jaw dropped and his eyes rolled back, as if he were cumming in his pants. I swept on, my cock and artificial balls barely covered by my supple white leather skirt. I wondered if the globes of my ass were visible. When I glanced back to see who saw, the car valet was still standing there, staring at my rear, still holding the car door open.

Elaine took due note. "Perfect!" she said with a wide smile, yet again. "You really did learn a few things, didn't you? I must remember that one!"

"It' fun!" I agreed, sharing another giggly glance at my new girlfriend. I loved those moments. "But can we eat? I've had nothing all day, and I've been on that liquid diet for weeks!"

"Just wait, sweetheart! You'll get your dinner." She was scanning the lobby. Some kind of convention was taking place, older balding men standing flat-footed in groups with younger, keen-looking men on their toes, chatting and eyeing each passing delegate's name tag. "Welcome Wholesale Druggists" said a banner over the registration desk.

"Of course! The bar!" she said suddenly.

Opening off the huge lobby's chromium glitz was a woodpaneled cocktail lounge designed to look like a British Pub. Already crowded. We approached it, Elaine looked in, then seized my arm and propelled me through and over to a booth just being vacated.

"There!" she said. "Just in time. Those two guys in the lobby had gotten tired of trying to look up your skirt and had just decided to walk over and introduce themselves!"

"I hadn't noticed," I said. "But isn't that why we're here?"

"No," my wife said, seating herself at the booth while I did the same. "Look straight ahead of you there at those two men leaning toawrd each other. At the bar. That's why we're here."

I looked. Two stocky, muscular, well-dressed men in easy, confident conversation, one with his back toward me gesturing as if selling something to the other man, who glanced at him now and then and nodded.

"So?" I asked. "What's so special about them? "Steve was better built. And Brian too!" If there was a Brian, I thought to myself.

A waiter came and took our drink orders. And almost immediately returned with them. With my tummy empty, one swallow and I got tipsy all at once.

Elaine returned to the matter at hand. "Think, Joy! A wholesale druggist's convention! Pharmaceuticals!"

Of course! My lips parted and my eyes opened wide! Now I really do look like a blonde bimbo, I thought. My eyes opened even wider! The man at the bar facing me grinned to himself and muttered something to the other man, who then half-turned to look at our reflections in the mirror over the bar. I looked at his.

It was Tim all right! The same arrogant posture, leaning way back and declaring his opinions with broad gestures. To some fool listening to him.

I looked at Elaine. She was watching me in triumph, eyes smouldering, delighted with my reaction to her little surprise!

I was amused by her subterfuge. "Is that why we're here, Elaine? You want to meet up with Miss Rebecca's ex? Take him to bed, now that he's an ex? And I'm here to take his friend there off your hands? Is he expecting us?"

"No, honey. He isn't expecting us. And he isn't an ex yet -- that's what they're still negotiating. And I don't mean to take him to bed, now or ever again. Not Tim, anyway."

"What then?" I tried to sober up, but instead took another swallow from my glass. "Elaine, this is dangerous! I guess he can't tell who I am, and he's looking straight at me now, checking me out. I guess I do look different! Especially with this wig!" Despite my surprise and tension I smiled at that realization. His companion of many late night beer and boasting sessions, while our wives were getting it on together upstairs, no way resembled the doll-faced blonde he was looking at in the mirror. He thought my smile was for him and he smiled back at my reflection. My God!

I turned to face Elaine. She still looked like a cat with a canary in its mouth. "He'll kill you when he recognizes you, Elaine!," I said, alarmed. "He'll be furious! You're the woman who alienated his wife's affection, remember? The co-respondent in a mean-tempered divorce? Let's get out of here!!" I started to rise.

"Stay where you are!" Tense, hard, ruthless! I was shocked! I had never heard Elaine use such a tone of voice. Not with me! She sipped from her own drink. Then she continued more quietly, "No, I dont think he wants to kill me. We've gotten on pretty well since he caught us. We have our arrangements!"

I persisted. I was so anxious I had to stop and deliberately call back my feminine voice -- I'd lost it a moment ago! "Elaine, Tim never struck me as a good sport! He's hates to lose! Please, let's leave."

"Joy, listen to me."

"What?!"

"Tim's being here is why we're here!"

"What?"

"It's payback time. Just listen, they'll be here in another minute or two I'm sure. You wanted to stay with me. To do that you needed to become a woman. Miss Caroline accomplished that miracle, and very satisfactorily too. Her services don't come cheap. Obliging studs like Steve and Duncan are top drawer, expensive to keep on call. But worth it, didn't you think?"

I smiled despite myself. The feel of those heavy cocks and the taste of all that cum returned to my memory and my mouth. A faint pungency in the nose. Yum. Inadvertently my hips wriggled against the back of the booth. I recalled that Steve once took me in my ass and brought me off twice without cumming at all. He'd fucked my brains out so throughly I couldn't see straight when we were done, so I had to feel my way along the walls as I staggered to bed, my rear end dripping.

"And Flora may be a registered nurse devoted to serving mankind, and she is just that, but she's also a high priced call girl. And she's served you well in both capacities. Hasn't she?"

"Yes," I had to agree. "She taught me a lot about pleasing men. And women!"

"Well, Joy, it's Rebecca who paid your tuition and board at Miss Caroline's! And your medical bills. And provided generous tips for everyone when we left there this morning. Because they did such a fine job with you."

This was baffling. Rebecca wanted me to succeed, to be successfully feminized? She'd hoped I'd fail! To be rid of me! "The boys did a fine job with you too, I noticed!" I said a little cattily. I wasn't jealous. I liked knowing that my wife enjoyed herself with other men! I was merely pointing out that the tuition payments weren't all for my education. Byt my mind was still whirling! Why would Rebecca do that, pay for me to become the woman of my wife's dreams? Spite? Revenge? As a gift from her to my wife?

"Yes, those boys gave me the best fucks I've ever had! You know that, Joy, you saw! They're tremendous lovers! My regular boyfriends are nowhere near as dedicated. But remember, they didn't fuck me for just me. Even then they were fucking me for you!"

"For me!"

"Poor Joy, you're addled! Yes, to rid you of all your male exclusive proprietary feelings about me. To rid you of jealousy! And it worked! I can fuck anyone now, and you don't mind, isn't that true?"

"Of course I don't mind, Elaine! I love it! I'm happy for you! You're your own woman. I'm mine."

"Did you feel like that before you saw me getting it on every morning? Before you also became promiscuous, a girl who also loves cock?"

"No, of course not. Before Miss Caroline's, the thought of you with Rebecca roiled my stomach. And when you told me about Gary, and Michael, and your other partners, I felt depleted. Less than a man!"

"But now you're not a man. You're a woman like me!"

"Yes." I had to admit the truth of that. I'd seen Elaine in sublime sexual throes so often, and she'd seen me the same way, all we could possibly do was wish each other joy with each other's men.

"Those studs liberated us, sweetheart. To become close friends, the dearest of girlfriends. No longer a husband and a wife but a loving couple. And I do love you Joy, with all my heart."

I was moved by that. "Me too" I cried in my high pitched voice, near tears. I reached over and took Elaine's hand and squeezed it. We were two women offering each other affectionate consolation and the deepest of heartfelt love.

After a moment Elaine swallowed, and then in a husky voice returned to her revelation. "Well, Rebecca paid for Miss Caroline's services for both of us. To rid me of what you were, and to give you back to me as what you are. For herself too, honey!"

"To give me back to you? I wanted her gone! Away! And that's the way she wanted me! How for herself?"

"I'll explain later. Can you trust me now?"

She was near tears. So was I, seeing how close she was. "Yes, of course, darling, with all my heart," I said.

"Joy, we owe her. She made it possible for us to remain together. There was no other way. And now it's possible for us to repay her. There's this one last thing you need to do, and then we're together for the rest of our lives. As man and wife, as lesbian lovers, as girlfriends together on the town, whatever we wish. It's nothing you haven't done before. You've now done it often, easily, and with enormous pleasure. But it might hurt your pride this time, because this time it's a little different."

"What is? How do we repay her?"

"We're here to pick up Tim so you can have sex with him! You'll take him to bed. You'll blow him, and let him fuck you! Ass or tits or both!"

I felt chilled. I hated that man!

"But you won't reveal who you are to him. Or that you still have male genitals! You'll keep them exposed, but he won't see them till the last possible moment!"

My stomach turned over. I was silent.

"That's what you'll do, Joy,!" Her voice was level. She smiled at me, but her words came out like chipped ice. "Do it, and we'll all live happily ever after. Don't do it, and listen! I'll leave you right now. You have no money. And I've changed the locks at home, and there's no key under the mat. Before morning you'll be turning tricks on skid row for hotel money and your first square meal in a month! You must be starved now! Eat Tim! Does that make your decision easier?"

Did she mean it? "I can't," I said. "When he sees what I am he'll kill me!"

She reached into her purse and handed me what looked like a large, flesh-colored sanitary napkin covered with adhesive. "No. Trust me on that. Here. Paste this onto your crotch. It'll hide your cock and balls for the first unveiling. Take it off as soon as possible, but when he won't notice." She paused, and in a mocking voice added, "Not that there's anything much there, Joy! A teeny clit and fake balls. Girly testicles! My big girly man! You're a woman now! Well, be a woman, Joey! Seduce him!"

"Elaine!" I cried in an oddly bimbo-like squeak. "He'll know!" She turned up her eyes disbelievingly, disgusted by such an excuse. I plowed on. "But even if he doesn't recognize me, he's an arrogant bastard. I hate to speak for Rebecca, but it's true, she's well rid of him! Why use me just to get even with him? Why demean me?"

"Joy, he's taking her for everything! In the divorce settlement, he's demanded everything from her but the clothes on her back! Because of me. Because the woman you love loves her too! He's threatened to name me in court as her partner in adultery. That's blackmail in a way, but it works! If he does that it'll destroy my credibility with every respectable firm in town. Yours too, you know. Maybe our marriage along with it. Who'd hire you, a laughingstock, a man who suddenly thinks he's a woman and is married to a dyke, and shares her with another dyke in her own home and claims she knows nothing about it? Think of the ridicule! What does that make you?"

It makes me pretty much what I am, I thought. But the world would think me some kind of idiotic pervert. And here was an argument I ghad to weigh seriously. Rebecca had yielded to Tim's vindictive demands partly to protect her old girlfriend and her old girlfriend's husband.

"I see," I said.

"Rebecca gave in to him for us! Do this thing, Joy! He'll be here in a moment. Put this room key in your purse. Paste that napkin on now. When he recognizes me and comes over, take him upstairs and fuck his brains out. Let him think you're a woman for as long as you can. That's what you are now, aren't you? Then reveal what you were! Show him your dick and your bag of balls! Humiliate him! The room's all arranged, it's all paid for. There'll be no questions. Have sex with him. Leave a light on by the bed, it'll seem more romantic."

"How does that punish him?" I asked. "How does she get even?"

"The room is bugged. There are microphones and cameras and video cameras everwhere. Everything you do will be recorded. The pictures will show Tim having sex with a man. A shemale, but still, a man with a cock and balls. That's why we wanted you to keep your balls, for something like this. Or a semblance of your balls. I'll turn the tapes and pictures over to Rebecca, and then if he claims in court that she slept with me, she can show that he slept with you! That should level the playing field for any final settlement! Believe me, he isn't man enough to take what his buddies would dish out, once they saw him fuck a queer!"

I was morose, silent. Where had I heard about level playing fields before? All this was reminding me of my former life, when I still thought I was a man. Now I had to play a queer man!

Elaine waited no longer. She wriggled part-way out of the booth and turned her head toward Tim and his friend. Tim was still looking me over in the mirror over the bar, an unattached blonde bimbo. But now, startled, he turned and looked directly at Elaine. Instant recognition! Elaine smiled and waved a hand at him, then slid back into the booth and turned back to me.

Her voice grew harder. "Joy. This is what it's all about. This is what Becky and I have had in mind for you ever since you offered to move in with us. Prove your loyalty, make us glad we agreed to take you in. We want you to humiliate Tim beyond recovery by having sex with him. You're a trained and experienced cock sucker. Go get your picture taken sucking his cock and getting your ass fucked. You owe Rebecca! Then she'll have gotten her money's worth from Miss Caroline's. Maybe more than her money's worth, if he's really embarrassed. That's not for either of us to say. Do it and I won't feel I owe her. And you won't need to feel you owe her either, even though as far as we're concerned, Miss Caroline is the only reason we're still together. It's Tim or the streets for you now, lover!"

I stared at her. I saw no way out. I made up my mind. "What if he's a lousy fuck?" I asked her.

She laughed and relaxed. I'd agreed! "You'll love it, sweetie," she said. "He's a big boy. Wait and see!"

I was about to ask her how she knew when a waiter suddenly appeared with two more drinks for us. Behind him carrying their own drinks, looking eager and smug, were Tim and the other man. Why not? They thought they'd secured some great cunt for the night! Tim has for sure, I thought to myself as I pressed the pink napkin onto my mound. My clit and dangling implants disappeared under it.

"Ellie!" Tim said in his hearty, polite, deal-closing salesman's voice. "I was sure it was you! Imagine my surprise! It's been a while! May we join you?" He slid his bulk in alongside my wife without awaiting an answer. I looked up and smiled hesitantly at him, then at the other man, and then slid over. Now I was trapped in the booth. "This great guy here is Cal! No last names, he's married!" Tim winked at me. "Are you, Miss? Or as they say, maybe you're between engagements?" He chuckled. "I'm Tim! I've known your friend here for ages! She and my almost-ex-wife were roommates in college."

"I'm Joy, honey," I said, reaching across the table to take his hand, and then trailing my nails on his palm as I let go. "What a big hand you have, Tim!"

"Joy," he repeated, distracted but attempting even so to look intensely into my eyes, as if instantly smitten. Corny? I looked away with a faint smile. Let him come on to me a while longer! "Hello, Cal," I added, turning my head and offering him my hand also.

Tim put his arm around Elaine's shoulders. "Cal, this here is a wonderful woman! Truly awesome. She lives here in town. My wife and I used to stay at her house, they knew each other in school. Well, a year or so ago I leaned on her a little and persuaded her, and this little lady opened her legs to me like Santa opening a bag of toys. Then there was no stopping either of us. I'd crawl out of her crotch whenever her husband came home of course, but not always even then. My wife knew, but what could she do? Her husband never caught on, can you imagine? Nice enough guy, we'd sit and talk when the women went upstairs and did their beauty things. Then I'd yawn and go to bed, and he'd go to bed, and in a little while Ellie here would come to my bed, if she wasn't already there waiting when I arrived! This is one hot woman! When I wasn't available, would you believe it, she gets it on with my wife? My wife is up for anything, same as me!"

Despite myself I began to steam. I liked the fact that my wife was passionate. I didn't really feel jealous that Tim too had fucked her. That was a kind of compliment, praise from one more former lover. No, one more sex partner. I was Elaine's girlfriend, not her husband, and I knew I should feel glad for her. But back then we were married. I was a man then. We were supposed to be faithful. This was a triple betrayal -- Tim fucking my own wife, under my own roof, and now boasting about it to a stranger! Well, we'd see!

One thing puzzled me. If he and Ellie were fucking each other, why was he so ticked off when he found out that Rebecca and Ellie were fucking each other? How could he think he the aggrieved party? I couldn't think that one through though. I suppose because he's an egotistical bastard, I decided.

Elaine looked at me with a certain penetrating grimness, a faint smile on the edges of her mouth. She knew just how I was taking this new revelation! Tim was now added to the list with Gary and Michael and who knows how many others?

"You still married to that wimp, Elaine baby? Did that dick of his ever get stiff enough to reach into you? Or long enough? Did you ever train him to suck your real men's cum out of your pussy, the way you said you would?"

She seemed to speak reluctantly. She'd mocked me when they were together? "Yes," she said slowly. "He's done that. But no, Tim. He's even smaller now. I haven't seen him for a while. We're separated."

"You don't say! Then maybe you and I...."

"Who is this man, Ellie?" I broke in. If anyone was going to screw Tim tonight, it was going to be me! Screw him for good! I wanted to set him up and trap him the worst way! "He talks good sex! Is he all talk?"

"There's only one way to find out, Joy," Elaine responded. "Are you interested?" Her eyes lit up mischievously, as if she were daring me to enjoy myself.

Tim looked me over a little more closely, and his eyes opened slightly. He could see "slut" written all over me. I gave him my bold, challenging look. "Well, Tim," I asked him. "Are you all talk?" I nudged Cal to let me by. A gentleman, he stood up instantly and I slid past him, then stood up myself. My teeny white leather skirt clung to my thighs like satin, twisted across my crotch, but I didn't want to break concentration to adjust it. I kept staring into Tim's eyes, challenging him, while he looked me up and down. My thigh-high boots with a hint of more thigh and more intimate girl above where the boots ended. My silver neckace lay almost flat on the shelf of my upthrust boobs, some of it partly fallen into the canyon between them.

"Well?" I asked him again. He looked almost overwhelmed as he stood up, still staring at the white globes visible above my white bustier. If only I were actually carrying a white leather whip as part of my outfit! "Well, come on then," I said, and finally broke off eye contact. I turned to Elaine. "I think you and Cal can find things to say to each other," I told her. "Maybe things to do to each other, too! See you when I see you!"

"I'll leave an envelope at the front desk," Ellie managed to say before I turned on my white high heels and walked toward the pub's exit, the hotel lobby, and the elevators, Tim following me like an school boy. She knew I didn't even have money for a taxi. When I looked back, she had an enormous grin on her face. Pure triumph! Her Rebecca would be avenged, and Tim's vindictiveness neutralized. But there was something else there too!
 
 
ix.
 
 
In fact, Tim wasn't bad at all! His cock wasn't terribly long, but it was enormously thick, and curved like a crescent moon. When we got to the room I checked for cameras and sure enough, there was one in each corner of the room looking like a misplaced smoke detector, its light winking, and one in the central chandelier aimed at a huge, overstuffed easy chair. So I played seductress. I had him stand while I sat perched on the edge of the easy chair. Then I slowly undid his belt buckle and lowered his pants, then his boxer shorts, leaving them both draped on his ankles so he'd be forced to shuffle around the room like a chain gang prisoner. He looked ridiculous standing there, shirt-tails barely covering his fully erect fat dick and hairy ass.

"Leave those pants there, baby. And leave your shoes on. You'd really regret meeting the guy who thinks this is his room, if he should show up. We'll hope not!"

He nodded, and looked back over his shoulder for a chair to sit in while I knelt down between his legs to do homage to his cock. I had other ideas. "No, just stand there, Tim," I said. "A man stands in the presence of a lady. Your prick already knows that -- you should listen to what it's telling you. Now shuffle over here and present it to me while I sit here."

He did. When that rampant cock was in front of my nose, I remembered that I hadn't eaten all day! "Just stand there while I prepare you," I said, and I took his cock in my mouth and began sliding my lips up and down it. As he felt his sensations intensify his hips began slight bumping and grinding motions. I lifted off and fixed his eyes with mine. "Stand perfectly still or all this ends now," I told him with an impatient edge in my voice. He did, and I resumed, with difficulty because it's hard to blow a man when your mouth keeps trying to grin. All that advice held! I wasn't servicing him, he was doing my bidding!

Then when he was rising toward his orgasm, ready to cum, and I could feel that he was surrendering his mind to enjoy it, I popped him out of my mouth, and he groaned aloud! Good, the bastard! I thought.

"Kneel down," I whispered to him, "and undo my bustier in back!" He groaned again when he realized that his anticipated climactic release was not yet happening. But he did as asked, clumsily tangling his pants further onto his legs but reaching his arms around me to find my bustier zipper slide and pull it down. He looked to the cameras as if he were embracing me, I was sure. Now his nose was crammed in the crevasse between my tits, and he was breathing heavily. I leaned back, and his whole face was buried between my breasts as the bustier came free. I pulled his head into them and wrapped my arms around it, both of them. I knew he couldn't breathe, and I wanted to worry him some, just a little, about whether he'd survive this session with this unknown woman.

Just when his head was pulling back against my arms, urgently, then frantically, then desperate with his need to suck in air, I eased off just a little. Then as he gasped I whispered "Suck on these!" He returned to first one, then the other, moaning as if starved, tonguing my distended nipples! They were still huge and pointy -- Miss Caroline had explained my body would absorb the collagen injections as my hormones replaced them with real nipple tissue, but they'd always be large, like the nipples on a baby bottle. "Men can't get enough of the breast," she commented. "They're such babies! So give them what they want!" Now I had my own baby sucking and nursing, and the sensations were marvelous. They went through my whole body into my clit, and as I lifted his head and placed his mouth on my other nipple I peaked and exploded! I arched my back and tensed into a delicious state of transport! My whole body pulsed, not just my clit! An orgasm just from nursing a man! I almost felt affectionate toward Tim, and tried to restrain myself.

He noticed anyhow and preened himself, and tried to take charge. "You like that, huh, baby? Well, wait till I get into your nooky, that's when...."

"Tit fuck me, baby!"

"Huh?"

"Slide that cock of yours here, between my tits, they're all slick and soaked from your mouth, c'mon, honey, climb up here and plant that cock in this soft, slippery place! Now! I need it!"

I didn't "need" it, but I wanted it. This was the plan I'd concocted on my way up in the elevator. I slid way down in the chair, lying almost flat with my butt well over the edge, while he crept up over me to line up his cock and my cleft. As I expected, his twisted pants and shorts pulled my white leather skirt up to my waist, and behind his back I stripped off the adhesive cover Ellie had given me, to expose my cock and balls, my clit and implants, to at least two of the cameras.

I had a soft erection, barely enough to make my clit stand up. Tim began sliding his prick up and down in my sopping cleft. To the cameras behind him though it looked as if he were trying to seat his ass on my cock and lap-fuck himself with me. And as my soft clit disappeared between his ass cheeks, it appeared that he was succeeding! Unquestionably I was a man, and unquestionably he was breathing hard and humping me, my prick sliding in and out of his ass. No mere camera could see that this was only an optical illusion created while he was in fact sliding his prick between my breasts.

And as he picked up the pace I squeezed my breasts onto that thick stick of his, and felt my plump silicone cushions press against it. ""Oh, yes, baby! Oh yes!" I cried as if my chest were the most erogenous zone of my body. He gave a guffawing grunt and it was over. He tensed, and sperm spurted all over my neck and chin. He collapsed, his chest falling on my wet boobs, and now I was buried under his bulk. I gave him a moment. One down, I was thinking to myself. "Did you like feeling that prick in there, honey?" I asked him loudly.

"Oh, yeah!"

"Sliding in and out. Want me to do that to you again some time? It feels good to have it in there?"

"As often as possible," he said. "It feels real great, snugged in there! Love it!"

So there on tape was Tim's confession that he liked getting assfucked, my prick in his rear, sodomy, and all the cameras saw that he was gay while he was slipping his meat between my tits. On tape earlier I had sucked his cock while he stood by. That tape ought to amuse his friends if Rebecca ever wants to distribute it, I thought! There's visual evidence of a mis-placed prick that'll stand up in any court!

"Now you fuck me the same way," I said, to clinch the videotape evidence.

"Huh?" he said?

"Up the ass! Fast and hard and deep, lover! The way I do you when you get that certain craving for it!"

That should blacken him with his macho buddies forever, I was thinking. He'll never dare talk tough to a competitor who thinks he's a faggot and can honestly call him 'pussy'if pressed too hard! Given Tim's temper, he'll end up socking his customers and sued by all of them! Before Tim could reconsider I turned face down, knees on the edge of the easy chair and buttocks pointed toward the chandelier TV camera. Toward his cock, as he knelt there still slick and dripping, his spent cock dangling down. He decided I wanted to get fucked then and there, and knew he wasn't quite ready to oblige.

"In a minute, baby!" he said a bit apologetically.

"Can't get it up? Should I call in some other guys? Would that inspire you? You'd find other cocks exciting? Want to help them get theirs up with that mouth of yours?"

He felt insulted but couldn't tell, at such an intimate moment. I almost made sense, and anyhow this wasn't a moment to ask for clarification. "Kiss my ass while we wait!" I said imperiously. "Smooch my butt, baby!"

He did. I wondered whether to tell him to "Eat shit!" for the videocamera. But enough!

Eventually his thing stiffened enough to enter me, loose as my anus was from its three weeks of real and imaginary reaming at Miss Caroline's. He humped and picked up steam, and I began to enjoy it! He actually brought me off twice when he finally reached his climax again! I couldn't help it! He had as good a cock as Steve's, and I cried out my rapture while clenching and pulsing on him. Then my sensations built and I did it again!

It was so good I felt positively cheerful as I turned face and belly up now, slouched back against the cushions, my ass now oozing and my cock and balls now fully visible. I anticipated an irrational reaction when he saw them: disbelief, shock, horror, fury! And prepared to defend myself.

It was none of these. He looked inattentively at the unequivocal evidence of my crotch that I was male! But all he did was pull up his pants. He didn't care! "We never did make it to the bedroom, Joy!" he said casually. "Well, maybe next time. Give me a call if you're interested. You know my number."

"Huh?" It was my turn to be bewildered.

"Joe, you said your name is 'Joy' now, didn't you? Did I hear you wrong? It isn't? It's a cute name! Derived from Ellie's pet name for you, 'Joey,' is that it? That's what Ellie told me she calls you, 'Joey." Of course she was sucking my cock when she said it, so I may have misheard!"

I stared at him, perplexed. Bewildered! He knew who I was? He'd known the whole time? What was going on?

He reached over and took my limp clit between his thumb and forefinger, lifted it, and let it fall back down. "This is sorta cute too!" he said. "Kinda small now. But Ellie told me it never was much. And Rebecca tells me that soon it won't be any more than any girl has on the top of her slit to help keep her happy while she's keeping her men happy, just a little button. And those things below it are your new artificial family jewels I hear, busy even now making you into a full-fledged broad, big ass and all! Just what the doctor ordered! They look real."

He fitted his tie into his collar and flipped the ends into a knot, still looking down on me and talking at his ease. Then shrugged on his sports jacket. "But then you look real too, sweetheart! Who'd have thought it, my old late night talk buddy turned into a fairy by two broads! A fairy who sucks any cock his wife points at him! Well, I've always thought you were a chicken, Joe. A nancy boy! An easy lay! Even Ellie's got bigger balls than you do, Joyboy!"

I was flabbergasted! "How long have you known?" was all I could choke out. His cum was leaking out of my ass and puddling onto the seat cushion, wet and cold against my naked buttocks. I felt so exposed!

"Longer than you've known, girlie! Ever since the ladies first hatched their plot. Maybe longer! My wife called your wife in to check over our latest divorce from each other. We do that now and then, Rebecca and me, threaten to quit the marriage and see how close we can get to a split before one or the other of us gives in! It's better than sex for two hard cases like us! Well, Rebecca's pulled some real dirty tricks on me, and I've done the same! Maybe that's why we love each other. Because we respect each other! I'm the only man she can't always outsmart, and she's the only woman! For us that's love! You never figured that out? You'd listen to us tear each other apart at your house, and then you'd see us go home together like partners in crime, and you never figured it out?"

All I could do was shake my head, my mouth open!

"Well, there was this time I saw Rebecca and Ellie fucking each other right under my nose at your house! I was still pissed when I found out that they've been fucking each other all their lives, practically! Or doing whatever girls do instead of fuck. Maybe they did it for spite, or maybe all girl roomies do it, I didn't care. Homosexual infidelity! It gave me an edge! Rebecca couldn't talk me out of the divorce, and finally I could take her for everything!"

"Well, Rebecca called in Ellie to figure what to do. She hoped Ellie'd could have some influence on me, because I'd hit on her a few times and never got in, and I wanted her."

"Yeah?" I tried to sound tough, manly. But my voice was so high and sweet! I was a girl! That's what I wanted to be! It occurred to me, he was trying to insult me for choosing to be feminine. But I didn't mind! I liked it! That's what I was now. Ellie's sweet sissy! I loved it! "Well, Ellie came up with a terrific answer. Smart bitch! 'How about a straight swap!' is the way she put it to me. 'I fucked your wife, so we'll fix you up to fuck my husband! How about that? Fair's fair!'"

"Well, I just look at her. 'Are you off your gourd?' I ask her. 'I'm no fuckin' faggot!' 'Don' worry,' she says. 'We can take care of it! We can fix him up so he looks like a gorgeous babe and fucks like a weasel! If you don't want to do it when you see him, you don't have to! But you'll want to! I guarantee it! I've been thinking about turning him into a girl anyhow for some time now -- as long as he thinks he's a man he's not safe to have around! I know just how. He'll be beautiful! Your prick will salute him the moment you see him!"

Tim grinned at me. "It did, too, girlie. That dumb blonde look is just right for a dumb guy who lets his women walk all over him! You know what? For an extra kick, your own wife tells me, I'll fix it so he thinks he's outsmarting you when you dip your dick into him. That really turns you on, doesn't it, when a loser thinks he's a winner until you break the news to him who's really just been fucked? So what have you got to lose?'"

This was new! Elaine had done all this to me just as a favor to her girlfriend? And I'd fallen for it? I listened attentively. His cum between my breasts and under my bottom was sticky now, and starting to crust. I was feeling helpless. Ellie'd made me a girl just so Tim could fuck me? But no! I'd asked her to make me a girl! Begged her! I was confused!

"Well, Joy baby, she was right! You are one great piece of ass now. Willing and eager, and yet your mind working all the time, calculating, I could sense it! So I've got no complaints! Your wife came through. Tell her the contract's paid in full. Any time you want to make me a new deal just for yourself, Joe, let me know. But get yourself a real pussy for next time, for God's sake. You have a great mouth and a tight ass, and someone's taught you all the moves, and you've got those movie star tits. But you won't be a full-fledged cunt until you've got a cunt!"

"You fucked my wife, then me?" I managed to say. My voice just wouldn't growl! I sounded petulant, not menacing as I'd intended. "Just because she fucked your wife. How's that fair?"

"Fair? Fair is what you can get away with! Sure I fucked her, baby! Lots of guys fuck your wife! Some weeks her cunt must flow like a sewer!"

He leaned over me, trying to be especially nasty. "Joyboy, maybe you don't know. Ellie never wanted to swing from my dick, out of loyalty to Rebecca. So when I agreed to fuck you in trade for Ellie fucking Rebecca, I insisted on fucking Ellie too as a bonus for signing. In case you didn't work out. In case you didn't end up worth even a fuck up the ass! I drive hard bargains. Well, sissy, your wife agreed that I could drive my hard bargain into her any time I felt like it, right up to the moment I drove it into you."

He grinned wolfishly. "Well, now you're fucked, so now you're both free! She's yours again. We're square! Not that she'll do you much good any more. Look at that little worm you call a prick, lying there limp on those jelly balls of yours! Useless! I mean, she's a real woman, man, with a real slit! What can you offer her? Go get yourself a cunt, lady! Where's your pride?!"

I reached out for what little pride I had left. "But what about the tapes!" I cried out to him. Were there any? Were those winking red lights only stage props? Were the supposed videocameras part of Elaine's conspiracy to get me to pleasure Tim while thinking I was outwitting him? Rebecca didn't need tapes to counter-blackmail Tim! He'd never intended blackmail! He didn't need it! He had a deal! Fuck my wife, fuck me, and call it quits! That evens the score with his wife!

"Oh yeah, the tapes. I noticed that. I saw how you were so eager to expose your cock to those camera lenses that you almost forgot to give me a good time. Why'd you run them? To show some Madame when Ellie kicks you out and you apply for a job in a whorehouse, to prove you know the business? To use to blackmail me? Rebecca doesn't need them -- she knows I'm a dirty dealer but a deal's a deal, I keep my word, no nitpicking afterward. The contract's fulfilled. She don't need no tapes to prove I fucked you, Joey girl, and I don't either. Do you? Keep them. They can turn you on when your wife's out whoring somewhere and you're home dreaming about opening your legs to Mr. Right! What about the tapes? Ask your wife! Ask 'Miss Elaine'! See you around!"

And he was out the door. Baffled, I stood and went into the bathroom and cleaned myself up. The camera lights winked out. When I thought I looked presentable, I went downstairs to the front desk and left off the room key and asked if a woman had left me an envelope. It was there as promised, exactly enough money for a cab ride home and a modest tip for the driver, and not a penny more. And a note: "Come home, sweetie, and tell me all about it!" "Sweetie?" Elaine wanted me to come home now, finally. After she'd tricked me into becoming a passable slut fit to fuck Tim, just to get her girlfriend off the hook, and she'd been Tim's fucktoy for months and months, all the while I'd been a loving and faithful husband to her! I sure had things I wanted to tell her!
 
 
x.
 
 
When I got home, Elaine was waiting up for me. She smiled at me, pointed to a Perrier on ice in front of her, and gestured with her head toward the liquor cabinet. I unzipped and slowly pulled off my long boots, noticing that cum had oozed into one of them. Then went to the cabinet. No bottles on top at all any more I noticed, only a filled ice bucket and a clean glass. No more Rebecca? I reached under and took a bottle and poured myself a straight scotch on ice, then sat gingerly across from Elaine, clutching the glass in both my hands, my painted nails decorating the front, my knees tight together. The underside of my white leather mini was still sticky, and I was very much aware of it. Tim had squirted a lot of juice into me.

"Where's Rebecca?" I asked. I had some things to say to her too! If I could keep my nails out of her eyes!

"Rebecca's gone," Elaine answered. "Gone back to Tim. So I've put the bottles back under and out of sight again, the way we like to keep them. She'll come by to pick up her clothes tomorrow. We've done what we had to do. Both of us. The three of us. It's over now."

"Oh?"

She hesitated. There were serious things to talk about. She was confronting what her eyes told her was a woman, her protege, a former husband who was now irreversibly the girl she and Rebecca had created together. She first tried to reinforce the notion. "Wasn't that dress just perfect for what you've been doing, Joy?" she asked. She warmed to what she was saying. "Didn't I tell you I'd tell you how a girl should dress to encourage a new lover? So how was he, girlfriend? Tell me everything! Was he scrumptious?"

"What we did is what we did, girlfriend," I said, underlining that last word ironically with my voice. "You know how he is! You didn't tell me everything, so I don't tell you everything! He was satisfied with me. He says you've fulfilled your part of the deal. That's all you need to know!" I lapsed into pouting silence.

"Aww, poor darling! You liked it, that's what I know! The surveillance company brought over the tapes, and I've seen them! You loved it! You loved being clever, outwitting the man even when you were supposed to be servicing him, and you loved feeling superior to him while he was servicing you, and you loved the sex too! You adored the sex! I heard it! All that moaning when things warmed up! With a guy you've never liked, too! You can't deny it! I've seen the tapes!"

I tried icy disdain. "Then you heard how he told me all about his deal with you. You fucked his wife so he fucks you and then me to even his score with her! Some deal!" All she did was nod.

I tried indignation! "Elaine? Ellie! You used me! Your husband! Just to keep him from sueing your friend for divorce!"

But I couldn't sustain it. I burst into tears. And once I started, I couldn't stop! "You used me, you used me!" I sobbed over and over, my shoulders shaking. And I couldn't help it. I began to wail, "Oh, Ellie, we were married, and we were loving, and we trusted each other, and look at us now! You used me! Look at me! You sacrificed me to your girlfriend! You sacrificed us!"

Then I broke down utterly! Ellie could barely hear what I then said through my agonized gasps and squeals and sobs. I was feeling so terribly lonely and miserable and wretched and lost that my body collapsed! I wailed, inconsolable! I could barely squeak out more accusations: "You made me his whore just so your friend Becky could score points in that divorce game they play together!" And then I cried out my agony at the top of my voice! I had not known that mere mortal flesh could feel such anguish! Such despair! I went into another world where my sobs and cries overwhelmed each other.

Now Ellie's face turned very pale and very serious. No more jocularity. She knew she didn't dare move to comfort me, or I'd lose it altogether and run screaming from the room.

"You could say that," Ellie replied, in a very quiet tone of voice. "Is that what that son of a bitch told you?"

There was something in the way she said just that, no more, that comforted me. Gradually I got control over myself and quieted down. She cared! Deeply! Maybe she'd wanted to maintain the past three weeks' charade for a little while longer, but now she was terribly unhappy because I had come home distraught! Because she still loved me? And she wanted me to love her, just as I had always loved her? As I had just proved I loved her by doing everything she'd asked me to do with Tim?

When I was quiet, making only a miserable keening sound now and then, she asked me, "Did he tell you what the tapes were for?"

That almost started me off again. "No! He doesn't know what the tapes are for! He doesn't care! And neither do I! Not now I don't. I thought I did! But you lied to me!"

She looked so mournful when I said that my heart suddenly lurched! I've never been so self-pitying, I realized. Could it be those female hormones awash in my bloodstream? I've got PMS?

"No, sweetheart," she said gravely, "everything I have ever told you was true. Tim was ready to strip Becky of everything because of her adultery with me, because I loved his wife, his possession, his thing, without his permission or knowledge! I'd committed the unforgiveable sin against Tim. And so he was using blackmail against us! He was being successful at it, too. But his price wasn't only you! It was also me! It was us!"

"I know," I said with a small catch in my voice, still trying to breathe. "He told me you were having sex with him on call to seal the deal with me, in case..." I paused to recover my breath, "in case I didn't work out! In case when you made me a girl I wasn't pretty enough for him!"

"No!" she said, furious, then caught her breath, and continued. "First of all, you made yourself a girl, sweetheart! I only helped. Strictly speaking, Rebecca helped! And believe me, you were right when you urged us to make you a girl! Because that's been the only way we could possibly preserve our marriage. But not because of what you think! Not because of me and Becky. Because of me and Tim! And because of us. Because sooner or later you were going to find out the truth about my sexual adventures with other men. I can't help myself, that's how I am! I tried to warn you when I changed my wedding vows the very day of the wedding, but you paid no attention! You didn't know! You never wanted to know! But when you found out, you are so sweet, so dear, so trusting, so loving, I knew that the truth would destroy you! And I couldn't bear to see that happen! I love you too much! It would have destroyed me too!"

I sat up, and stared at her, prepared to listen. This was well beyond me. "Elaine...!" I began saying.

"First, wipe your face, dear," she said to me. "Your mascara is all over your cheeks. You don't need that much -- remember, Francesca dyed your lashes black, and they've always been full, a girl's lashes. I've always envied them. They're beautiful lashes. I love them!"

I wiped my tears and swallowed some whisky. And began to feel a little better. Now Elaine was being nice! She was my Elaine again!

"And my name's Ellie, my darling dearest! It's always been Ellie for you, from the moment I first saw you across all those tax charts on my desk years ago, when you first came in to that tax office asking for help. I was Ellie to you when Rebecca first objected, and when I married you I became your Ellie for life! But during this past month I couldn't let you know that. Or you wouldn't have done your part to save our marriage. Which now you've done, so bravely and heroically, too! I'm married to the most marvelous girl in the world! I'm so very proud of you! I'm so humbled by your courage and dedication that I'd be privileged to suck your cock, if you had one. For the first time in my life I wish you did!"

Was she joking? Having more fun at my expense? No, this time there were tears in her eyes. I got up and sat down next to her and took her hand. "Tell me," I said. And reached my arm around her shoulders. I was surprised to feel them quiver -- she was afraid! Afraid to lose me? I leaned back, ready to listen.

"Everything I've told you since you offered to become a girl, since you became the girl you are, is true," she said. "I never promised to be true to you till death do us part, and maybe you never noticed that during our ceremony! But I did promise to have and to hold and to love you, and I do want to, and I mean to do that, if you'll let me. Till death do us part. Forever!"

I nodded. And waited. There were more tears forming in her eyes. Her beautiful eyes mine could never match!

"You are the most marvelous husband a wife could ever have. A month ago you offered to share me with another woman rather than lose me. Then you declared that you were willing to become another woman if that is what it would take to keep me. As it did! And tonight, as the most marvelous woman in the world you were unstintingly generous. You screwed a man you despised for my sake. No, not for my sake, for my best friend's sake was what you thought. For my lover's sake, for your rival's sake, Rebecca's sake, despite the fact that she has always seemed to despise you! For my sake finally! Because I asked you to do it and you love me!"

I nodded. My breasts I noticed were pinched just a bit, pushed up as they were in my white leather bustier. But this was no moment to interrupt anything and change into something more comfortable. They'd keep. I smiled slightly to myself. Yes, they'd keep. Whatever I was about to hear, I'd keep them. I wanted to keep them. I was a woman now, and I was proud of my bust. Even proud of my abilities as a seductress earlier tonight. Even though I'd been used.

"It's true that I'm highly sexed and you've had no talents that way at all. I'm sorry, but it's true. It's always been true. I don't think you mind my saying that, now. Because you have so many wonderful talents as a woman. You are the sweetest person I have ever known. Did you know that? And you have marvelous sexual talents too as a woman, that's now also established too! Do you mind that that's true?"

"No, sweetheart. I don't mind." In fact I loved hearing her say it. Maybe Miss Caroline had done her work too well, but it was all too true. When I was a man, I had cooked for Ellie to express my love for her, but I was never much in bed. Now that I'm a woman it's different. I can make love to her passionately, devoutly, and I want to! I can't get enough of her, I was thinking. I'll never get enough of her!

"It's true that I've slept around a lot. Everybody but you has always known it. They've pitied you, and they've been amused by your innocence and trust, and they've admired you for it. But they've all agreed that you should never hear about it. Because they all know you are so very nice!"

Her shoulders began heaving at that point, and she almost lost control! She took several deep breaths. "So very nice," she repeated in a teeny voice I could scarcely hear. Then more calmly, "It would devastate you to know about me! It would destroy you! You are such an innocent that it would be like taking Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny away from you! It would destroy a faith in me that was central to your very existence! I've been afraid sometimes, you're so sensitive, that you'd attempt suicide if you found out and I didn't know, and perhaps succeed too! I've lived with that fear for years! Because I know that if I caused you that much grief, that would destroy me too!"

I sat silent. I think she was speaking her heart's truth, and it was true for both of us. I'd agreed to everything she and Rebecca had proposed for me as my only available alternative to losing Ellie. She was my life, and I was fighting for my life! And when she'd confessed to me in the kitchen that she slept around, that she loved sex, I'd accepted that too. I'd had to. Because what alternatives did I have? But she confessed it only when I was irrevocably no longer a man, no longer her husband. She told her confidante! She told her dearest friend, a girl she knew would wish her every happiness!

"That last visit here, when Tim found me in bed with Rebecca, he threatened to reveal what he'd seen to the world, to destroy our reputations, to destroy you, just as I told you, unless I agreed to go to bed with him immediately. So I did. That very night! Then to sleep with him whenever the whim struck him. And that began our affair. I had to travel considerable distances sometimes just to give him a blow job in front of his friends. I had to blow his friends. To become his sex slave, to do whatever he required of me, no matter how cruel. And Joy," -- now Ellie's voice began to break again, and she bit her lip and fought for control -- "some of the things he required were very cruel. But what he threatened to do to you was worse than cruel."

I didn't want to hear it. It was agonizing. But I stayed calm. "How could anything be worse than that, honey?" I asked her. My heart was going out to her. Yearning toward her. I took her hand and clasped it, and looked closely into her eyes. "How could it be worse?" I repeated.

Ellie looked down at our hands clasped in her lap and spoke slowly, carefully. "He threatened to tell you about me. About my sexuality and promiscuity. What I had done for him. And for his friends. He told me he intended to tell you about him and me but hadn't yet figured out the cruelest way to do it. Maybe to tattoo me and have you discover it? Maybe to arrange for you to listen in when he was plowing me deep and I was shrieking in a steady-state orgasm. I do that with him, you know, the way you do too, to judge by that video when he was plumbing your ass. No girl can resist a cock that thick when it's inside her. Maybe he'd show you pictures -- he often photographed me at my orgasmic peaks so he could exult about his power over me when I wasn't around, and remind himself of exquisite humiliations he intended for me for next time."

"What he wanted was to lord it over you, to gloat, and if possible do it in public. So you'd learn of your wife's infidelities in public in the most humiliating way he could conceive. Then what would happen to your manhood? All because I'd dared to be intimate with his property, his wife. With Rebecca."

"You see, honey, he knew where you were vulnerable. He knew that you knew nothing. You were unsuspecting, unprepared. He told me his plan, and how my body could buy time for you to preserve your innocence just a little while longer. He told me that if I went to Rebecca for help, the one person I knew was as unscrupulous as he is, the one person who could deal with his duplicity on his own terms, if I went to Rebecca for help he'd settle you down and tell you everything. Then forcibly fuck you. I knew, he knew, there'd be nothing left of you after that. My sweet man Joey would be gone! Twice fucked!"

"And that wasn't an idle threat! Let me explain!"

"You heard how earlier tonight the moment he saw you, when he realized I was about to present my husband to him as we'd agreed, how he lost no time telling you about him and me, boasting about sex with me to his buddy Cal. He wanted you to know that he's the top man and you're nowhere! He knew who you were then of course -- Rebecca's kept him informed about your feminization, your progress toward that moment when you'd even things between him and Rebecca by wrapping your mouth and your ass around his prick. As you have done, love!"

"He liked it, what we were doing to you, making you a woman! All along he'd wanted to destroy your pride in your manliness, to ridicule your sexual inadequacy and vaunt his own potency to your face. To present you to me as a ridiculous wimp, and me to you as his prize conquest! He loves doing that to people! Then he'd certainly tell you about my affairs with other men, and when you had no recourse, no reserves of pride or dignity left, only a love for me that was empty, unrequited, that's when he meant to fuck you himself. To rape you if need be, he was prepared to do that tonight, which is why I argued so hard, so ruthlessly, for your consent and cooperation! All to drive the point home to you that he effectively rules both of us! He thought that the ultimate humiliation, him fucking you because I set you up, would destroy us as a couple. That we could neither of us ever again trust or love each other, or love anyone else ever again either, for fear of the emotional costs. So that from then on we would live emotionally marginal lives as miserable as his own."

I imagined my darling facing that dilemma alone, trying to save the marriage she valued and had sworn to uphold above all else. Our marriage. Me. But I also saw a terrible irony in what then happened.

"So you went to Rebecca despite his threat, and told her everything, and told her I had to find out everything before her husband could tell me," I said without being prompted.

"I did. And she knew her husband. She's been sparring with his cunning for years. That's their bond till death do them part! She conceived the plan we followed. And it worked."

I broke in. "The plan was, to do what Tim wanted to do, but to do it first and achieve my full cooperation and approval at each stage? To destroy my manliness by telling me all about your infidelities, and then conditioning me to be a woman who loves sex and so doesn't care that you love sex too, and then set Tim up to fuck me when I wouldn't much care anyhow? As he has now done?"

Ellie was silent a long while, and very still. I was still holding her hand. She placed her other hand over it so I couldn't let go of her, and said quietly, "Yes, that's true. But also no, it isn't true. We realized that if we could go much further than Tim intended, and faster, if we could seize Tim's initiatives and pre-empt them, we wouldn't merely be doing his dirty work for him, we'd be rebuilding our relationship on an unshakeable foundation! We'd be making your pride and your sense of self-worth and our marriage bond invulnerable. As we have now done. We would end up, the two of us, closer than ever! As we have now done! I hope we have!"

I was silent now. She was right -- there was no way Tim could reach us now. There was no was for him to extort sexual services from Ellie or from me by threatening exposure. I knew everything. I was beyond exposure. I was fully exposed. I looked at Ellie and saw that she was looking intently, worriedly, at me. "Getting my approval, wanting me to want all this to happen, that's what all this has been about, hasn't it," I said.

"Yes, honey," Ellie said. "We had to make you over into a woman. We had to make you want us to make you over into a woman. We had to make you want to be a woman. And that's what we've done. That's what you are now. That's what you want to be now. Isn't that so?"

She waited the longest time for my reply. But finally I placed my other hand over hers, so all four of our hands were clasped together in her lap. "Yes. That's what I am. That's what I want to be now."

Ellie freed one of her hands and placed it against my smooth, depillated cheek. Tears were streaming down her cheek! "So now we're free! Nothing can harm us! Nothing can come between us! But you're a woman now! That's the price we paid. The price you paid, lover!"

I said nothing. I looked at her with adoration in my heart and I hoped in my eyes too. Then I finally found the words. "Ellie," I said. "I've told you before that I wanted to be a woman. Let's go to bed, and when we're in each other's arms in bed, make me feel glad to be a woman!"

She kissed me gently. "Yes, sweetheart, I will. It's late, my lovely Joy. Let's go to bed. This is your first night home since all this began, and the first night of the rest of our lives as married girlfriends. I'll tell you the rest in the morning. I want to make love to you now."

We went up the stairs with our arms wrapped around each other, hugging, loving friends. When we reached the bedroom door, our bedroom door now, Ellie paused, and turned toward me, and kissed the tip of my nose. I cupped her head delicately in my hands and kissed hers. Two women kissing. So graceful, so sensitive. We reached for the tips of each other's nipples and our faces blended together, two women now kissing each other at first so very gently but then with increasing passion, until we seemed to be trying to swallow each other. We grasped at each other, almost out of breath.

"Oh darling," Ellie said. "I've dreamed of this moment for so long. Ever since our wedding night, when I was still wishing that you were Becky. Ever since the night just before our wedding night, when Becky and I were making such desperate, passionate love for what we thought would be the last time, and I was wishing that Becky was you! Wishing for the impossible!"

"Let's go in, Ellie. I want to kiss you. The way girlfriends kiss. The way married couples kiss. The way lovers kiss. You have dildos in there too, don't you?"

She smiled slyly. "Oh yes, sweetheart. All kinds. Sometimes when I was finishing an affair with a lover I'd have a rubber or jelly model made of his erect cock, to remember him by. You can strap on any of your rivals and fuck me with his cock any time you wish! And you can be sure I'll love every one of them. I always have! And you're all those men to me now!"

"I want you to fuck me with my rivals too!"

Now a playful grin lit up Ellie's whole face. "You want to share all my lovers with you? Not counting those at Miss Caroline's, if that's where they were? All right! I've already shared two of my men, haven't I? They were great for you, weren't they? Gary and Tim? I bet their thick dicks are why you decided to be a woman! So you could enjoy them more often!"

And she bolted into the bedroom with me in hot pursuit. We spent the whole night together on our bed crawling all over each other's naked bodies, kissing and licking and plunging ourselves into every bulge and surface and opening, and sipping each other's juices. When first light came we finally fell asleep in a tangle of each other's arms and legs, two women wrapped in each other's soft, smooth, curved bodies, enjoying each other's tender feelings and deep affections, secure in the knowledge that their whole lives lay ahead of them.
 
 
xi.
 
 
I awoke to a rattling of coathangers in the closet, and opened my eyes. Rebecca was taking her clothing out of our closet and hanging them in large garment bags. She looked over her shoulder at me and grinned.

"Don't mind me, girls. I'll be out of your lives and this second honeymoon of yours in less than five minutes. You two look so sweet together I hated to disturb you, but I have appointments all day, and Tim expects us to drive home this evening for our annual ritual burning of the past year's separation papers. Once again we've declared a draw. We'll have to find something else to fight over, now that Ellie is no longer coming between us, and I'm no longer coming between you two." She grinned even more broadly. "And Tim is no longer cumming between Joy's buttocks!"

She took shoes from the floor of our closet and stowed them in a large box. "Was it fun, Joy?," she asked me. "Do you know what Tim said to me when he arrived at our motel last night and fell into bed? Fresh from your arms, Joy? Still covered by the scent of your perfume? 'Been there, done that,' is what he said. He was exhausted, but I knew what he meant. It meant that our plan worked. That he won on points, but there was no satisfaction in it for him. That nothing can come between you too now! I can see that from here, from the way I can't tell where one of you leaves off and the other begins. From the way you two can't be pried apart from each other."

"Stop for coffee when you've packed up here, Becky," Ellie said from somewhere underneath me. "I'll get up and make some. Joy still isn't clear on lots of things."

She began stirring under me on the bed, and I felt new desires beginning to stir in me too. But not with Rebecca here.

"No hard feelings, Joy?" Becky asked me a bit cautiously, just to be sure.

"You know there aren't, Becky," I said deliberately. She flicked her eyes when she heard me call her that, but then grinned and nodded! Now we really could become friends. Women friends. "Not since you gave me those shots, and not with these implants that pass for testicles. No erections at all!"

"Oh, they're testicles all right, Joy. Functional, too. Don't believe everything you hear at Miss Caroline's. Those things there are the same balls they've always been, pouring out that crap to make you as mean as Tim if you have a mind to be that mean, and messing up your hormone balances even as we speak. I had to put androgen blocker implants into you along with the estrogen implants and all the others. But those are in your hip and under your arms and -- you won't believe this, Ellie -- I buried some in your breasts. So all that testosterone poison is neutralized."

"I just couldn't take your balls yet, Joy. You should know that Ellie and I have been in agreement from the beginning that you two will make wonderful mothers of however many babies you may want to make together. And that I'll make an equally wonderful Aunt. Well, that being the case, why rely on some anonymous sperm donor somewhere, when one of you two girls comes already equipped to impregnate an ovum, and the other one comes equipped to carry a foetus to term. You two can make your babies the old fashioned, natural way, ladies. Old fashioned for lesbians, that is! Suck it or milk it out of Joy, and then use a gravy baster on Ellie. Or if you prefer, pour it into one of those hollow dildos in that drawer there -- not the "Tim,"please, maybe the "Gary," since you both know what Gary's like. Then Joy, strap one of those dildos over that excuse for a cock you've always carried around, and fuck your wife's brains out! Squirt your own cum into her through a better man's prick! Isn't that the best of both worlds? It would be for Ellie, I'm sure! She loves gentle men, but she adores big pricks!"

"Coffee in five minutes," Ellie said, wriggling out of bed, throwing a wrap around her and lurching out of the room. I'd been a little hard on her orifices last night -- she moved as if they were sore. As she'd been hard on mine, and relentless! We both needed a long soak. I reached down and gave my balls a tentative squeeze. Yes, there certainly was feeling in them.

"If you doubt my word, ask Ellie to kick you down there," Rebecca said, noticing my test squeeze. "That'll make a believer out of you."

"Why did you tell me they were implants?" I asked her. "If it was you, and not some hallucination that told me."

"Oh, that was me," Rebecca said, amused. She'd resumed pulling blouses and skirts from the closet and hanging them up again carefully in her garment carrier. "That was me playing tough cop, so you'd believe Ellie when she played tender cop. As she did until last night when she had to play both, so you'd agree to fuck that scumbag husband of mine and save your marriage. Why did we tell you in efect that they were ovaries? So when you fucked Tim you'd feel like a natural woman, not a gay man. So you'd think this was your life, the rest of your life, and you'd commit yourself to it absolutely, unreservedly. If Tim sensed any ambivalence of attitude he'd never have accepted you as a woman, a "cunt" as he likes to call us. And then he'd never have forgiven us our supposed debts."

"While you were playing show and tell with the TV cameras and Tim was relieving his cock in you, you had to be a true believer. Persuasive acting takes deep conviction and concentration. It's easier to believe you're a woman if you believe you have no balls. Isn't it?"

"No. I still believed then that I was born a woman, though that conditioning was fading fast. You're right though that irreversible emasculation makes it easier to commit to femininity. Even though I'm committed anyhow! I love what I am! It's so much nicer!"

Then I paused. "Becky, I'm confused. I've heard lots of explanations since last night. Why did you set me up? I mean why really did the two of you scheme to make me the woman I am? And why the videotape, if there is such a thing? I can't believe it's just supposed to be proof that Ellie's delivered me to get fucked as promised, or evidence needed to win a bet with Tim! Nor even blackmail to free up Ellie from your husband's clutches!"

Rebecca looked thoughtfully down at the last jacket to hang in her garment bag., and began zipping it in. "Oh yes, there's a tape," Rebecca said. "I have one and Ellie has one."

"As for why you're now the girl you are, we each of us have had our own separate reasons for it. Some of them are the same reasons. Some are different! Just as you have your reasons."

"Tim's was mainly vindictive power tripping -- you now know all about that. Get even. Get an advantage. Get ahead! Fuck the competition! He wanted to screw you figuratively and literally because through you he could avenge himself on Ellie and me."

"I had different reasons. To distract Tim from his blackmail of Ellie, his "fuck me or I'll tell your husband about everyone else" approach to the tender passions, by offering him a really refined revenge, to fuck his wife's lover's spouse. You. If he'd quit thinking about more destructive ways to damage Ellie or her reputation, or yours. Another reason: to make a tape I could stockpile against the future, to embarrass Tim if I ever need to, and I'm sure I will some day. You helped me there -- I now have such a tape. Tim thinks the fact that he knew who you were when he fucked you, and you didn't know, scores one for him. But the tape tells anyone who watches it that he's gay and that he got fucked and sucked by a shemale and loved it.

"Tim has no idea there's that scene where it looks like you're fucking him up the ass and he's loving it! That was a brilliant camera angle, where his titfucking made it look like you were assfucking him, and he loved it. A lot of Tim's competitors are even more bigoted and ruthless than he is! They won't care how that scene came about! Just show them your prick playing tag with Tim's ass during some tight bargaining session, and Tim will be a kaughingstock. That's what I think I'll threaten when we next move to file for separation. Maybe I can trick Tim into becoming a shemale in self-defense! I'd love that! I'll have to think about how. Tricking you was no problem, because you believe everybody. Tim believes no one. Still, don't be surprised if he shows up at one of your Garden Club meetings wearing a dress, in another year or two."

"But Joy, I had a really big reason to want to help Ellie by converting you. Not a tactical reason, but another kind, far more profound. I love Ellie with all my heart. For many years I've been jealous of her love for you. She got herself into this trouble with Tim because I didn't adequately respect your marriage vows and the love you two share, and leave her alone. I seduced her for my own pleasure and also to get even with you for taking her away from me. And I did it as often as I could!"

"So when Ellie told me how Tim was usung that fact to take advantage of her, I decided that enough was enough. Ellie needs the love of a woman, you know that now, even more than she needs the love of men! She always has and she always will. She's had my love, and she always will. But no longer expressed physically. I decided to make Ellie a gift of her husband as a substitute for me, at least for the lesbian sex we both cherish. Now she has you, Joy, and I'm what I always should have been from the moment you two met -- a friend and no more than that."

"When she told me that you're the boy of her dreams except for the fact that you're poorly hung, I told her that together we could make you into the girl of her dreams. That you'd be better for her as a girl than I ever was, because she'd love you more than she could possibly love me. I pointed out though that there was a problem. She likes guys. That if you were a girl she'd miss getting that kind of sex from you."

"It was then, after a brief silence, that she told me she'd find that kind of sex elsewhere. 'That's not what I love about Joey,' she said. 'Raw sex with Joey has never been enough. The cuddling, the deep affection we feel for each other, that's so much more!' That's what she said. So that settled it! Her Joey would become the cuddly, deeply affectionate girl of her dreams. We'd teach him how to walk in my shoes."

"We had the silliest conversation at that point, Joy! We were in each other's arms in bed at the time, all tangled together. I began to giggle. 'Can you see him walking in my shoes?' I said. 'Say those Ferragamo open-toed pumps with the four-inch heels I wore to dinner last night, all strappy, the ones that are so revealing I need to get a pedicure to match my fingernail color whenever I plan to wear them?'"

"Ellie began giggle too. 'He'd wobble a little at first,' she said. 'But he'd look so dear! And I'd love to see him with a pedicure. Then I could tell his feet from mine when our legs are wrapped together the way yours and mine are now. See? You wiggle your mauve toes. I wriggle my plain natural pink ones.'"

"We were getting silly. We each wiggled our toes a few times. I began to think about the flavor of Ellie's juices again. I was starting to get hot. I started to kiss her nipples."

"'Mmmmm,' Ellie said. 'He'd need to match his fingernail polish and lipstick to his toes then, too. And learn how to wear a designer dress to go with those shoes. Or he wouldn't look proper sitting at the bar on a high stool when the two of us went out to a restaurant together. Oooooh, moooore, honey!'"

"'I bet he'd be a real dish, done up right," I said. "I bet other men at the bar would fall all over their tongues when they saw him.'"

"'I'd hope so,' Ellie answered me. 'Then we could each get laid by some real men!'"

"'I bet even Tim would want to wet his dick in him,'" I said.

"'I'm sure of it.'" Ellie was panting a little now, but that's where we got that idea, repay Tim for my sex with Ellie by giving Tim sex with Joey when he became Joy."

"'Especially if he had his own breasts, like these.'"

"'Yes.'" Ellie said. "'Oh, darling!'"

"And she didn't need to say anything more. Joy, there we were, the two of us, all enclosed in each other's bodies the way you two were when I came in just now, with only one single idea in our minds. The image of you and Ellie sitting in an elegant restaurant, two attractive single women out to attract two desireable men and bring them back to their lair for a night's intimate entertainment. That idea brought us to peak after peak of bliss as we caressed each other!"

"But Joy, you had to want to be changed. To want to replace me! To want it desperately! Well, we arranged it. You pleaded to become me! Begged for it! Thinking all the while of course that you were outwitting us. That you were stalling in order to win your supposedly chaste wife back to a life with you of vanilla sex."

"Honey, you know now that you were way out of your league. We were miles ahead of you! Look how it took all of your wiles to outwit Tim on that tape. Well, I pull tricks like that on him these days every morning even before I'm fully awake, just as he does to me before the day's out! Everyone loves the fact that you're an innocent! That may have made it easy for us to turn you into a world class sucker, but whether that's good or bad depends on what we give you to suck on, doesn't it?"

With that she grinned and zipped up her cases. She was ready to move out. Impulsively, she came over to the bed where I lay watching her, and kissed me on the cheek. "You're so cute!" she said. "I envy Ellie!"

Then she said, gently, "As for Ellie's reasons, let's go down and ask her. Here, honey, use this peignoir set of mine to cover yourself. Your hips aren't fully curved yet, and we don't want Elly to remember what you once were. Also, I've got to admit it, I do find you tempting!"

I slipped on the negligee, and wrapped the peignor around me. It was like wearing water and froth, a delicious liquid sensation. The color was pale salmon, and the satin and chantilly gave my upper breasts and my face a rich glow. I gave Becky a delighted thank you smile! She smiled back.

"It looks darling on you, Joy! Keep it as a wedding present from me, for both of you if it helps you feel more feminine! I never did give you a present. I always thought Ellie was more than you deserved. She's more than you've been able to handle as far as her love of other men goes. But she can tell you more about that!"

We swished downstairs talking about dress styles -- I'd learned so much about them at Miss Caroline's, and Becky had been so busy with her career that she'd given them little thought. Of course Becky never dressed specifically to attract men. I pointed out that few women do -- mostly they dress to "express" the way they feel, but even more, to look "attractive" to other women judging them, women similarly responsive to the intricate rituals and languages and customs that establish when a woman is dressed tastefully or smashingly.

"It's so much more fun than dressing in drab old men's styles," I was telling Becky animatedly as we entered the kitchen. There, I saw, Ellie had set out three cups, and toast, butter, and jam. "For a woman dressing is really an art form, with so many choices contributing to what needs to be a perfect ensemble that looks just right! It's like fixing your hair differently every day, so you can look your very best whatever the occasion! I love it!"

Ellie heard and looked at Becky silently, and smiled at her. Becky smiled back. These ideas and my enthusiasm for them were not from Miss Caroline's conditioning regimen, they knew. I'd thought them up all by myself. She only said, "That is so precious, that wrapper and negligee set, Joy! I love it! So very feminine, and so very sexy!" She beamed a broad smile at me.

"Ellie, Joy has asked me why, seriously, we each of us conspired together to turn a perfectly acceptable, mediocre husband into the beautiful girl we see here in her lovely new peignoir."

I struck a model's posture, arms high, wrists bent and hands spread fetchingly, one knee bent toward the other, shoulders and hips turned in opposite directions, and I smiled a dazzling smile at the two of them! Deliciously feminine! I hoped I looked it! The other two women were amused by my acting out a beauty I couldn't feel was my own until I'd acted it out. They laughed, then applauded. They understood. Now we really were all girls together. Ellie poured the coffee.

"I've told her what I think are Tim's reasons, and I've told her mine," Becky continued. "Can you tell her yours?"

"I've already told you, sweetheart," Ellie said softly. "I had my special reasons too. First, I missed Becky, and Joey was a sweetie but no real substitute. Then Becky thought you could become the new girl in my life, an even better Becky, if we gave you the right motivation and the right training. She knew how to set it up, and I couldn't refuse her!"

"Second, after we got married I missed feeling really hot, hard-driving cocks lunging into me. You didn't have one. And you were never hard-driving! You were always too sweet, too considerate! So I went out looking for them and found them. Then I couldn't endure imagining how you'd feel when you found out that I need other men now and then. You'd feel such a failure! You'd surely want to end our marriage, maybe even your life! And I couldn't live with myself if you did either of those things! I knew I couldn't! So for me, that was a very big reason to change you. You had to find out about me. But when you found out, you had to like the idea, not feel threatened by it. A girlfriend would like the idea. A husband would feel threatened. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you!"

Ellie paused to get control of herself. "Third, I wanted to help Becky with her problem with Tim, just as she wanted to help me with my problem with Tim. Tim was extorting favors from me, to keep him from telling you that I was fucking lots of other men, as I was, and him too, as I was. We both saw immediately how that information wouldn't matter to you if you were feminized. I'd be free!"

"But fourth, honey, I had a bigger reason than any of these. I've told you about it already. All my life I've wanted to satisfy myself sexually without guilt or loneliness. I've wanted to cruise men evenings with someone who understands my needs and enjoys satisfying them. It's more fun, and it's safer in some of the seedier bars I've been in, and it opens out many more possibilities among the men."

"You see, men tend to come in pairs, so they can impress each other with the pretty girls they pick up, so they can dare each other to do better, so they can console each other when -- as mostly happens -- they get turned down. I needed a girlfriend who'd want to come with me on dates, the way Becky never could. The way guys come in couples, it would make one-night-fucking a lot easier to arrange."

"Well, honey, Becky has never wanted to help me there. She doesn't want to pick up men. I've cruised lesbian bars with her, sometimes very successfully! But not straight bars."

"Sweetie, I wanted you with me when I was picking up guys for the night, men who could fuck me as you never could. I'll confess it, for a long while I thought about making you a submissive cuckold who wants me to find and fuck other men. It wouldn't have been difficult at all, because you're devoted to me, and you need my love, and you hate confrontations. At each stage, if you objected I could always accuse you of ignoring my desires and my happiness, and then you'd be flustered, defensive, and eventually you'd give in."

"I talked to women who've done it with their husbands and it turns out to be incredibly easy, done gradually. For example, first get you willing to accept my dancing with other men at parties or supper clubs. Then my dancing close with them, and making out with them a little on the dance floor. Then my disappearing with them for a short while. Always hold the risk of losing me over your head. Eventually you'll accept my dating them, and finally my bringing them home and taking them into my bed while you use the guest room -- does that sound familiar? All this in the name of pleasures you can't possibly wish to deny me."

"I'd always invite you to participate, to come watch me with my men, to participate by making me pretty for them before I went out, or by douching their semen out of me when I came home. So how could you object?"

"And then one day it occurred to me, what if I were to make you pretty and then we both went out, what would happen then? Make it seem that you were a girl? You'd have to sit there and watch me no matter what did with my guys -- you wouldn't dare make a scene. But then I realized, I could fix you up with a guy of your own, so you wouldn't be worried about me with mine!"

"Well, I mentioned this to Becky, and she told me about how she'd been thinking about turning you into a girl for her own reasons, and our ideas all came together. We thought it all through together. Just imagine, there I'd be picking up guys with my husband's wholehearted approval? With no jealousy to cope with, and no need to console him for supposed inadequacies? Men always feel threatened by better men -- you know about male pissing contests! But if my husband is my girl companion, and he's getting laid by hunky men as often and as thoroughly as I'm getting laid? Well, a girl who's been satisfactorily fucked can't very well feel jealous of a dearest girlfriend who's also been well-fucked, can she? Even if the girlfriend is his wife? Of course not!"

"And then to have someone dear to you talk and gossip and giggle with you afterward, someone who completely understands? Bliss! When Becky told me that it was possible to make you over into such a girl, for me to fulfill my dream, when she told me about the transsexual patients she's treated, and how Miss Caroline's School speeds the transition, and about hormone therapies, I was ecstatic! I'd never been happier in my entire life! So of course we had to put the whole plan into effect! All it needed was your consent. And that night Becky first came over, I hinted, and you couldn't have been more eager!"

She paused. "I've never been happier, darling. When I woke up this morning, there you were exactly the way I've dreamed of us. I'm happier now than I've ever been anywhere. Do you really mind terribly what we did to you? Be honest with us! Because we've been honest with you!"

I took a deep breath. There was still some resentment curling around in my feelings like early morning mist. They'd tricked me, because they knew I'd never have agreed if they'd been straightforward with me. But they did care for me, it seems, both of them! And Miss Caroline laid her foundations well -- I couldn't help but enjoy my new life. I couldn't lie.

"I love what you've done to me," I said. My vehemence surprised even me! "I love being a woman! You've just heard me talk about some of the things I love, the clothing, the makeup, all of the adorable things I get to do and wear, my deep satisfaction when they all come together and I look by best!"

"And you're right about me as a man, and me with men. I'm much happier with the demands made on me as a woman than those made on me as a man. I'm not naturally aggressive, and I am naturally accommodating. I love people trying to do things for me so I'll grant them small favors -- a kiss or a blow job or a tumble. I love pleasing the people I love. And so forth. I think Becky suspected this about me all along, and knew it when she proposed transforming me. She hinted it to me when I went off to Miss Caroline's, even when she was still pretending to be mean."

"I am mean," Becky interrupted, almost without smiling. "With the wrong kind of person. But now you're the right kind of person. You're my dearest girlfriend's dearest girlfriend! I can't help but love you!".

"I have to tell you two something else I've thought about recently," I said. "I don't think it's Miss Caroline speaking, either. All my life I've wondered about women as if they were an alien species. We are so very different! Why women are the way they are, how they feel the way they feel. What it feels like to be one, to allow yourself to love, to be sweet, and sensitive, even to cry."

I blushed, but kept talking. "And all my life I've been curious what women feel, how other men would feel in me if they ever entered me. A stray thought, but I've thought it now and then. Now that I've had men in me, I have to confess it, I like it! Enormously! That's why I took on Tim despite my antipathy toward him. I could never be sure if those studs at Miss Caroline's were real. But I knew Tim was real -- no one would program a virtual man to be that big an asshole! It didn't take much persuasion to get me to bed down with him. And after the way I'd slutted and whored around during the previous three weeks, I couldn't deny even Tim access to my innards!"

Ellie and Becky heard me out in silence. Then Ellie leaped up and threw her arms around me. "Oh Joy," she said. "It's wonderful! You *are* a natural woman after all! We do both love to feel men fucking us! We both do love using them! We're both going to have such good times together!"

We held each other very tightly for a while. We were both crying, just a little.

"Well," Becky said. "I hate to intrude on this tender moment, but we still have unfinished business. When will you go the rest of the way, Joy? Do we now remove your penis and testicles to provide your men full access? Convert them over? Invert them, in fact, if you must know how it's done?! All right. I can see the answer in both of your faces. You two are so eager to get on with your lives as women! But I won't schedule the procedure until after Ellie is pregnant! Pregnancy you can achieve any way you wish, dear ones. I've suggested a dildo as better than a gravy baster, but Ellie gets to choose. When it's done, we'll put a few million more of your potential kids into the sperm bank, and then we'll do the deed. We'll give our sweet Joy a sweet vagina of her very own. Then when you two next want to conceive, I can be the one who impregnates Ellie with Joy's sperm. I'll use a dildo, because I'll want to be child's father as well as its aunt."

I returned for a moment to the real world. "What should we do about Gary?" I asked. "He expects me to go mall crawling soon, surveying and tending to mall managers' needs. I didn't like the idea at all, once. It was humiliating and demeaning, and obviously meant to get me out of the way. But now I like it! Meeting all those men, all eager to tell me what they really need? Sounds exciting!"

"I'm coming with you!" Ellie said categorically. She was still clinging close to me. "It's a wonderful idea! We're married, so I'm entitled to half of your available manpower. As your assistant, maybe. Or maybe you can be mine! I've had more experience with malls and men both!"

"I suspect you'll both go," Becky replied. "You see, I have one more wedding present for you apart from that peignoir set you both find so attractive. You remember that Gary was once my patient? He came to me last week with a common cold, and I diagnosed immediately a far more difficult ailment, partially psychosomatic. That he's a repressed transsexual. It was easy to persuade him. So he's scheduled to take a medical leave for six weeks starting this weekend, and when he returns to work he'll be a complete woman, totally cured. I've had him admitted to the involuntary patients' wing at Miss Caroline's school for treatment. He is, really, an unconscionable sexist! The way he took advantage of you that day you returned to the office as a woman! Of course he was following my instructions, but I knew he would, because he'd done it so often before with his subordinates -- and even boasted about it!"

"When he returns, he'll be a confirmed lesbian feminist, and I'll hire him to administer our Women's Hospital Outpatient Service so we can stay close. If Joy is now your Becky, sweetheart, Gary will be my new Ellie. Designed the way I want him! What Tim will wish to do when he finds out, God knows! Maybe fuck him the way he did you, Joy. But with that tape you made, by this time next year maybe I'll have divorced Tim and married him to Gary. We'll see."

We all smiled at that. Becky shrugged. "Of course I didn't give Ellie away to another woman without arranging to replace her. I'm not that sort of woman. But this present comes in two parts. When you call your secretary tomorrow, Joy, you'll find that you've been appointed Gary's replacement. You know his work. You used to do most of it while he took most of the credit. You can do it and also fuck selected mall managers without great strain, I'm sure, and at a much higher salary. I'm sure your firm's profit margins will rise along with your fortunes and your ability to raise your clients' pricks."

"Will Gary lose that heavyweight tool he hangs between his legs?" Ellie asked. She seemed regretful. I didn't mind.

"I'm afraid so," Becky replied. "I'm not interested in it. But to console yourselves, remember that you'll have the only surviving replica. It may become a collector's item."

"For Gary's sake, maybe we should make another cast before you ... ahhh ... invert it?" I suggested, thinking aloud. "As a memorial? For him to have handy in case you should ever tell him to go fuck himself?"

"Now now," Becky said. "When we're on honeymoons, we should only think sweet thoughts. It's late, girls. Why don't you both go back to bed?"

"It's morning, Becky," Ellie replied. "Not evening."

"So?" asked Becky with a faint smile.

"Will you join us?" I asked. "That's what I wanted, remember? When all this began? A threesome. I begged, but you were reluctant and raised all sorts of conditions. Well, I've met them, every one of them. Can you change your mind now? Please?"

Becky's whole face illuminated. I'd never seen her so beautiful! "I thought you'd never ask," she said. "I'd love to."

So we all went back upstairs with our arms wrapped around one another. We paused in the doorway to the bedroom, and kissed each other on the tips of our noses. Then on our lips. Three women kissing. So sensitive and delicate! So lovely! And then as our passions rose we reached for the tips of each other's nipples and with exquisite gentleness our faces blended together. Heaven!

 

FIN

 
 
Copyright © 2000, 2010 by Vickie Tern. May be archived to free archives only, single-copied for personal use, but not sold.

Vickie [email protected]
 



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