Sophie Deems is a seventeen-year-old waitress in a small town in the middle of nowhere, just trying to get along ... or is she? A visit from a woman in a silver Aston Martin pulls her past into her present, and makes her wonder if she can ever move on — or even if she want to.

 

by Randalynn

 

 
“So, a hamburger, well-done, with fries, a chicken Caesar salad, and two diet Cokes, is that right?” I treated both customers to my best perky smile, and they both smiled back and nodded. “Great! I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

I spun on my toes, skirt flaring slightly, and headed to the service window to drop off my latest order. Then I went over to the bar and asked Jerry to get me two diet Cokes.

“How’re you holdin’ up, Sophie?” He looked me over with one eye while his hands worked the soda wand. I shrugged.

“It’s the same job, just more of it,” I replied. “We’re pretty much out of the lunch rush, and the table count should drop down for me soon.” I put my tray down for a second and gave a stretch, hearing my back crack in three places.

“You know what you need? A really good massage. Get all those kinks out.” He finished the second glass with a smile and put them both on my tray.

“Whose kinks would those be again?” I grinned and picked up the drink order. “Believe me, Jerry, when I feel a burning uncontrollable need to have a man’s hands all over me, I’ll know just who to call.” I leaned forward and whispered, “Nymphomaniacs Anonymous.”

He grabbed at his heart. “Oh, girl, you wound me!”

I laughed and headed back to the table with the drinks. Just as I finished putting them on the table, the manager came over to me, took me by the arm and walked me back to the bar.

“You’ve got a visitor,” he said, his voice serious. “Out in the parking lot.”

“No can do, boss,” I replied, and gestured to the crowd with a toss of my head. “Tell whoever it is that it’s not a good time. I can’t take a break until the lunch rush is over.”

“You can and you will.” I looked up at Dean and saw him scowling. I looked down and both hands were clenched into fists so tight, they shook. I’d never seen him angry about anything before — not even when I bumped into a tray full of pint glasses and watched them all smash to bits on the floor.

I put down my tray and held up both hands. “Hey! I’m sorry! If it’s that important to you, Dean, I’m there. Just wanted to make sure my customers were covered, that’s all. With Gretchen gone, there’s no one to watch my tables.”

Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m sorry too, Sophie. I’m not even sure why I’m so on edge. Don’t worry, you’re right. And take your time. I’ll keep an eye on your section for you.”

“Thanks.” I reached out and gave his arm a squeeze. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

“She’s waiting for you,” he said. “Leaning up against a silver Aston Martin.”

A shiver ran down my spine. Sheila. Damn.

I put on my wool-lined denim jacket, the luckiest find ever at the Goodwill store, and walked out the front door. I stood for a second to get my bearings, and the wind gave my stocking-clad legs a brief hug and ruffled the hem of my skirt before taking off in search of another victim.

Hmmmm ... another victim, yes.

She was standing next to her parked car, resting her hip against a fender and watching the restaurant door as if she knew I’d be coming — which I’m sure she did. She was wearing a dark grey business suit with a violet blouse underneath, and modest pumps that matched the color of the suit. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but under her wind-tousled reddish-brown hair, her face revealed nothing. Her pale blue eyes, once so warm and loving, just seemed empty now, and cold.

I remembered when I would lose myself in those eyes, not too long ago. The thought made me want to cry, and I shook my head.

Not here. Not now.

I walked across the parking lot and stopped a few feet away from her.

“You didn’t have to do that to Dean,” I said, a touch of anger in my voice.

“Do what?”

“Give him the push. Make him want me to see you.” She raised an eyebrow. I sighed. “You pushed so hard, he lost his temper. It’s not like him, and now he’s worried there’s something wrong with him. You could have waited.”

“I didn’t want to wait. And why should you care?”

“Because I care. I like the man.”

“Oh, is there love in the air?” Those eyes flashed, half in amusement and half with curiousity.

“I said like, Sheila.” I raised my voice a little and let my irritation show. “He’s a good man and a good boss. He shouldn’t be messed with, just because you can. Nobody should. But if you deserved the power you’ve been given, you’d know that.”

“I needed to see you, and I didn’t want to wait.” She shrugged. “It’s small magic. You know it doesn’t last.”

“Oh, I know. Or you would have used it on me to get what you wanted ... from this.” We stared at each other for a few seconds, and I forced myself to relax. “So why are you here?”

She looked at me without expression. “No hello? No how are you?”

“I reserve greetings and polite inquiries for customers ... and for the people I actually care about,” I replied, my voice equally cool. “Since you’re neither, just state your business.”

‘Liar,’ a tiny voice inside me whispered. As usual, I ignored it and waited.

“My business?” She raised an eyebrow.

I sighed. “Tell me what you want and leave. Or just go and let me get back to work. I have eight tables today, and it’s the lunch rush. Gretchen called in sick.”

“My, my.” A smile grew on her lips. “I never imagined you could be so ... dedicated to your work.”

“Some parts of me haven’t changed. You knew me back when, Sheila. All those fourteen-hour days, the sleepless nights. I worked hard when I ran Shirai Industries. I work hard here, too. These people deserve good service, and I give it to them. That’s my job.”

She looked into my eyes. “Those sleepless nights weren’t always about work.”

I met her glare with one of my own. “One time, Sheila. One time in twenty one years, I lose my way. I find myself in bed with another woman. One stupid little drunken slip, never to be repeated. I was so ashamed, I could barely look at myself in the mirror the next day. And you acted like I’d been carrying on like Casanova."

“I don’t KNOW it was only one time!”

“Well, I do. And it’s not like you bothered to ask, is it?”

“Like you would tell the truth!”

“Did I lie about what I did?” I stepped forward and found myself looking up into those eyes. I didn’t realize she was that much taller than the girl I’d become. “When you found out, when you confronted me ... did I once deny it?”

“You didn’t tell me when it happened!” Her breath was hot on my cheek.

“Of course not! Why would I?” I took a step back, shivered and turned away. I still felt the shame of what I’d done. “I was stupid, Sheila. I felt like I had betrayed you ... betrayed us. And it sure as hell wasn’t going to happen again. Telling you would have hurt you. And I didn’t want to hurt you.” Pause. “I loved you.”

“Well, I wanted to hurt you.” Her voice cut deep.

“Obviously.” A touch of sarcasm crept into my own. “You were angry, but you did put some thought into your spell before casting it. In a way, it’s a pity I managed to land on my feet ... sort of. Sorry to disappoint you, and upset your ‘best-laid plans,’ but when I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, a sex-addicted whore wasn’t one of the answers that popped into my mind.”

I folded my arms under my breasts, hugging myself against the chill, and waited for her to say something until the silence grew too heavy to ignore. I sighed. “That’s what you wanted, right? You wanted me to end up ... like that. But at the same time, you didn’t want me to lose my past. You wanted me to remember who I was, and who did that to me. You wanted me to suffer.”

More silence.

“I’ve done a lot of thinking about it,” I said, my tone conversational, “and I think I know why you went about it the way you did. My guess is that you couldn’t just use your power to change me directly into what you wanted without making me forget who I was, right?”

After a while, Sheila nodded. I nodded back. “You wanted me to remember what I once was, so I would always know what I had lost. You needed me to want sex so badly I ached for it, but only be able to get it from men, and be forced into going to them to earn the money to pay my way. After all, I couldn’t very well be humiliated and crushed every day if I actually enjoyed being a prostitute. If you made me what you wanted in a single step, I would have wound up a ‘happy hooker,’ with no trace of Ken Goldstein left behind to feel the pain. And where’s the revenge in that?”

I stood up and turned away, not wanting to look at her.

“The way I figure it, you had to set me up to fall into the life.” I did my best to keep my voice level. I didn’t want her to see how much this hurt. “Because once I did, you were sure I’d never ever climb out again. So you waited until I slept, then changed me into a big-breasted blonde teenager with legs up to here and hips that could stop traffic. Then you made me want sex so badly I couldn’t see straight, dressed me up in a Hollywood hooker outfit, and dropped me on the street in a city hundreds of miles from home, with nothing but an empty purse and an itch to scratch. Gotta give you credit for creativity, Sheila. I never saw it coming.”

“Even though I wasn’t tied up as tight as you wanted, you did the best you could to make your ‘loose change’ work for you.” I could hear the bitterness creep into my voice, even though I didn’t want it to. “What you didn’t count on was how easily I could see exactly what you wanted — and how stubborn I could be about not wanting you to have it.”

“I lost the hooker outfit as soon as I could find one of those drop-off bins for a charity — old clothes for the needy, that sort of thing. I found a tee shirt and jeans that sort of fit, and I left the things I was wearing for the charity to sort out. I asked around for a homeless shelter, but they had no openings. So I walked around the city three or four times, sticking to well lighted areas until the sun came up.”

Sheila spoke suddenly. “But the need ... the urges I gave you ...”

I tossed my head, surprised at how easily the feminine mannerism rose, and my lips formed an involuntary smile. “Oh, please, Sheila. I was a teenaged boy a long time ago, in another life. I learned to ignore the need to have sex RIGHT NOW. Some skills you never lose. It’s like riding a bike.”

“Besides, I may still want sex with a man, but back then I wanted something else more. I wanted to keep you from getting what you wanted when you did this to me.”

“So you haven’t ...?”

“Not stupid here, Sheila. Best way to avoid giving in to temptation is to keep my distance. I flirt because it’s expected socially, but the rest of my life is man-free. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you made sex physically addictive for me. One orgasm and I’d be hooked for life.”

I shot her a quick glance, and was surprised to see a flash of guilt before she looked away from me.

“I did a little research in a graveyard a few towns over, and found the name of a dead baby girl who would have been the right age had she made it past her first week. Sophia Louise Deems. Sophie to her friends... my friends, now that I stole the life she might have had.”

“I found a place to stay, a halfway house for runaway teens. They got ‘my’ birth certificate for me from the state, and even a social security card from the Feds. I found this job on my own, though, and moved out as soon as I made enough cash to make it happen. It’s been slow going, but I’ve built a new life, and I’ll get along.”

The wind pushed some leaves across the lot, and I leaned against the fender of a nearby pickup truck that had seen better days.

“Being Sophie isn't exactly where I wanted my life to go, but it's better than what you had planned for me.” A touch of sadness crept into my voice. “I’m not exactly happy like this, but I have a good job, a place to stay, and friends who like me. All in all, it beats being fucked over and over every day by faceless men to pay the rent … and by the woman I loved.”

I turned around and looked into her eyes. “So why are you here? Certainly not to get the short life story of Sophie Deems.”

She looked away. More silence. “This is a long way to drive to not say anything, Sheila. Are you here to try again? Hell, you could have done that from home. Unless you want to watch me struggle this time instead of just throwing me to the wolves.”

Without another word, she stood up, walked around to the driver’s side, got in and drove away. I watched her car pull onto the road and disappear into the flow of traffic. Then I shook my head, wiped away the tears that had started to form, and walked back to the restaurant.

I had customers waiting.

###

My shift was over, and I could finally go home. Tips had been good, and Dean had been happy with how well I coped handling my tables and Gretchen’s, too. I changed out of my uniform into a soft sweater, a pair of well-worn blue jeans, and some sneakers from the discount store. After spending the day in heels, my feet thought the pink and white Walmart specials were every bit as good as a $200 pair of Nikes. As far as I was concerned, they were.

I walked as quickly as I could towards the bus stop, hands deep in my pockets, one clutching a can of pepper spray and the other curled into a fist. My nails cut into my hand slightly, mostly because I hadn’t yet figured out how to make a real fist with these talons Sheila wished on me. I’d cut them, but that only lasted a day or two. Then I’d wake up and there they would be, just as long as they were when I woke up standing on a street corner and looking like a wet dream.

It was dark, and I was tired. The bus stop was only a short distance from here, and well lit, but I was well aware of how much danger I was in as Sophie. Living with three other girls, I heard all of their horror stories about being stalked .... hunted. As wrong as it was, being a teenaged girl out alone is a little like being a kitten in a house full of Rottweilers. Like it or not, I was prey.

I had the pepper spray of course, and had taken a few self-defense courses at the halfway house, but I knew damned well I was no match for a “motivated” man, no matter how motivated I was to win. My best course of action was to spray and run, and hope to God someone came along to save me.

I was almost to the bus shelter, thankful to finally be within reach of the pool of light, when someone stepped out of the shadows.

“I can’t.”

With a muffled shriek I jumped into the air, and spun around to find Sheila coming out of a dark corner nearby. I didn’t even check the parking lot to see if she had come back. Stupid. Bad enough I hadn’t been watching for her, but what if it had been ... someone else?

I waited a second to catch my breath, and let my voice come back to me. Then I processed what she had said. “Can’t what?”

“I can’t try again.” Her voice was flat, as if she was discussing the weather, and I realized she was continuing our conversation from before as if hours hadn’t passed. “I used enough magic on you to make you immune to me doing anything else but reversing what I’ve done. Another magic user could do something to you, if they wanted. I can’t.”

I felt an unexpected wave of relief wash over me. As much as this new life wasn’t what I’d chosen, I had invested enough of myself in it to want to keep it. Although I wasn’t completely safe, if another magic user decided to take a dislike to me.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she continued. “I don’t want to try again. I was wrong to do what I did in the first place. So very wrong.” She turned to face me, and I saw her lip quiver. “And I want you back.”

My jaw dropped. I stared at her as her eyes filled with tears.

“I was stupid to do what I did. I was hurt and angry and — and I reacted badly. But I do love you, Ken. I always have. I love you and I miss you, and I want you back.”

There was a loud hiss and the blare of a horn. I turned and saw that the bus had come, and before I could even think, I turned and sprinted for the door. I ran awkwardly, my strides too long, all bouncing breasts and swiveling hips, elbows out and breathing hard ... but I did run.

As I clamored up the bus’s stairs, I turned to find I had left my wife in the dark, both physically and emotionally. And that was just fine by me, because I was just as confused and clueless as she was.

###

It was stupid of me to run. Not that there was any thought involved at all, but if she found me at the restaurant, she could certainly find me at home.

Home. Now there was a funny thing to think. Sharing an apartment with three other girls for several months, I'd come to think of it as home — probably because the home I used to have wasn't really there anymore. Still, I guess home is where you make it, and as I climbed the stairs with keys and pepper spray in hand, I felt absurdly safe.

'God knows what's happening at Shirai,' I thought, not for the first time. 'A man … a CEO … just can't disappear without anyone noticing, can he?'

On the other hand, I became a teenaged girl with a little magical assist, so maybe Ken could be deleted the same way.

'Does that mean everything I did to build that company up just disappears along with me? All that work wasted?' I shook my head. 'Don't think about it. All it does is make you sad.'

Despite how many months it had been, I still hadn’t checked the papers, or looked for my former self on the Web — partly because I was afraid of what I’d find, or not find, as the case would be.

After all, a man hates to think his place in history could be so easily erased.

I unlocked the deadbolt, and used the same keys in the knob. The door swung open, and I darted inside, turned quickly and locked both locks. Then I sighed, and let all the tension bleed off of me. Safe.

Yeah, right.

“Hell, Sophie,” Carolyn piped up from the couch, lounging in her PJs and watching the Cartoon Network. An open carton of Tin Roof Sundae ice cream sat on the coffee table. “You always come through the door like you're being chased.”

I dropped my shoulder bag next to the table by the door and took off my coat. “That's 'cause the one time I don't worry about it, I will be.”

“That's a bad attitude, girl.” She lowered the sound on the TV with the remote. “It's not all bad out there, you know. You come straight home from work everyday and lock yourself in like you're a prisoner. Why don't you ever go out and have some fun? You don't see Katie and Meg here every night, wasting away in front of the tube or in their rooms with the door closed, listening to tunes.”

“Katie and Meg like to party. I don't.” I shrugged.

Carolyn laughed. “Girl, the only thing you seem to like is work!”

“As soon as I figure out who the hell I am, I'm going to need the cash to pay for the school I'm gonna need to make me who I want to be.”

The other girl shook her head. “You are way too serious, Sophie! You need to live a little — set your inner wench free, girl. A hard man is good to find, and you need somebody to loosen you up in all the right places.”

'I will never get used to how these girls talk to each other.' I thought with a smile.

Out loud I said, “Now you're sounding like Jerry at work. He wants to give me a massage and 'get my kinks out.'”

“Mmmmmmm,” she purred and fluttered her eyelashes. “I've seen the man, remember? Nice smile. Nice ass. You could do worse.”

“We work together! Who need the complications?” Suddenly I thought about Jerry's smile — and his ass. I felt hot all over, and struggled to change the subject. “Anyway, I did get chased tonight, sort of. So there.”

“WHAT?” She shut the TV off completely. I was sorry I said anything, but it was too late to take it back now. “Sophie, why didn't you say anything when you came in?”

I wrapped my arms around my middle, shivered, and tried to cover with a bit of attitude. “Because I'm not about the drama … like some people I know.”

Carolyn reached up and grabbed my elbow, then pulled me onto the couch and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. “It's not drama,” she said softly. “It's something you're afraid of, and it really scares you. So tell Mama Bear what happened. I will be comforting and discreet. Promise.”

I sighed and relaxed into the hug for a minute. “It wasn't a stranger,” I whispered, trying to come up with something close to the truth. “An old boyfriend tracked me down at the restaurant. The last time we were together, he threw me out in the street a few hundred miles from home, and just left me there with nothing but the clothes on my back. Now he pops out of the dark near the bus stop by work and says he's sorry and he loves me and he wants me back.” I felt the tears slip out of my eyes, and shook my head to clear them. “As if.”

She pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Did he follow you here?”

“God, I hope not!” I shook a little bit, and she gave me a squeeze.

“We'll call the police if he does.” Carolyn touched my cheek. “This is home, and you're safe here. That's what home means.” She grinned an evil grin. “And if he does show up, we'll staple his balls to a 2x4 and dig up a sledge hammer somewhere. An evening of wholesome fun.”

I smiled and shook my head. “You are terrible.”

“Damn straight, girl! Lover boy wants you, he gotta go through me. And no man messes with Queen Carolyn the First.”

After a few more seconds, I pulled back from the hug and reached for the ice cream. She slapped me lightly on the back of the hand. “Hey! You know the rules. You said keep it away from you for your own good. You know that stuff's going right to your hips.”

“Maybe, but it's gonna taste awesome along the way.” I grinned and snatched the carton away. I picked up the spoon and put a great big scoop into my mouth. “Mmmmmmmm.”

“Ewwwwww,” she said, shaking her head. “That is seriously ick. That was my spoon, bitch.”

'Really?” I looked at it curiously for a minute. With great deliberation, I licked the back of it, then grinned at her again. “I guess now it's mine.”

Without warning, she reached out and tickled me. I squealed and my whole body shook all over. Carolyn grabbed the spoon and took her own great gob of ice cream into her mouth, then showed it to me and wiggled her tongue around.

“Gross!”

It took a few more minutes of silliness, but eventually I relaxed and let her talk me into watching a marathon of old Warner Brothers cartoons until way after midnight.

I guess there was a reason I thought of this place as home after all.

It had a friend like Carolyn in it.

###

I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, trying to figure out what Sheila’s game was — wondering if she really wanted me back, or if there was another plan she was working to undermine my ruining her original idea.

I was still confused the next day when I stepped outside and found her parked at my door, once again leaning against the fender of her Aston Martin. Part of me wondered how she found me, although I supposed it wouldn’t be difficult for someone with her skills. The other part of me wondered if I should just turn around and walk back inside, but then I figured it would just be postponing the inevitable. She was there, she wanted some kind of answer, and she wouldn’t leave until she had one.

I walked down the stairs, opened the passenger side door and slipped inside. Sheila walked around to the driver’s side, got in, and pulled away from the curb. Neither of us spoke to the other until we’d reached a nearby diner and found ourselves in a booth with coffee in front of us and breakfast on the way.

“You ran away,” she said softly, her eyes on her cup as she stirred in several packets of sweetener.

“Yes.” I took a sip of my own. “Not what Ken might have done, I suppose. But as a teenaged girl, I’ve learned the value of fear. And you’re just too damned scary not to be afraid of.”

She looked up, surprised. “Scary?”

The look on her face was so unexpected, I could barely keep from laughing out loud. Then I realized that part of her just didn’t get it, and the fear rushed through me again.

She really didn’t understand.

“You rip me out of my life and thrust me into this body,” I said, trying hard to keep my voice from shaking, “with every intention of forcing me into some horror show of a life without the possibility of escape, because I was unfaithful once during our entire marriage. We’re talking about a plan that would scare the hell out of a rational, caring person if they even thought about doing it to someone else. And you’re surprised I’m afraid of you?”

“You’re not acting afraid now.”

“You’d be surprised how good an actress you become when you have to play someone less than half your age and a different sex!” I hissed, then stopped and shook my head. “Besides, you already know I’m afraid or I wouldn’t have run.”

“It’s not just me you’re afraid of,” she said softly. “It’s what I said last night. That I want you back.”

Just then the food arrived, and we waited until the waitress left to continue. As we both looked down at a breakfast neither of us really wanted, I spoke in a voice that was surprisingly calm.

“Who?”

She looked at me. “What?”

“Who do you want back? Ken? Or Sophie?” I picked up a piece of toast and dipped the end in my coffee. “I mean, I’m seventeen years old and female now, and I don’t remember you ever wanting to experience lesbian sex ... let alone with a minor. Or is there something you aren’t telling me?”

Sheila looked flustered, and I took a bite of the soaked bread.

“I want my husband back,” she said. “I’m so sorry, Ken. I was wrong to do what I did, and I want us back together again ... as a couple.”

“So you’ll change me back?” She nodded. “For how long?”

“Well ... forever.”

“And how long is forever these days?” She stared at me. “How long, Sheila? Until the next time you lose your temper?”

“What are you talking about?”

I threw the toast onto my plate. “You want to know why I’m afraid, Sheila? You really want to know why? Because your lack of impulse control changed me into a teenaged girl, dressed me in a slut suit, and sent me hundreds of miles away from home with an itch you wanted me to scratch. You did everything you could to turn me into a whore, just because you wanted me to suffer.”

“And it wasn’t an easy bullet to dodge, sister,” I hissed, trying to keep my voice down through the anger. “I lied before. I was this close to being what you wanted me to become. I almost grabbed the first man to walk by, and it took everything I had to turn away and run. It still does. I flirt with Jerry and the guys at the restaurant the same way an alcoholic with a thirty-day chip pours himself a shot of Scotch and stares at it — just to see if he can keep his hand from reaching down and taking that first drink that starts him back into the hole he climbed out of.”

“Every minute I’m in the same room with a man is another minute I have to fight the same fight over and over again. YOU did this to me — out of anger and spite! You set out to destroy me, and thank God I’m still here. But who knows what you’ll think of the next time you get angry with me?”

I stopped, breathing hard, just to let my anger fall. She looked at me, stunned into silence. I stared down at my plate, shaking all over, and waited for the trembling to stop.

“The worst part of it is, I still love you,” I whispered. “I just don’t trust you anymore. ‘I’m sorry’ only goes so far, Sheila. You betrayed me ... you hurt me ... far more than my one stupid mistake ever hurt you. The woman I married ... the woman I loved ... would never have done what you did to me. She would have seen how much it hurt me to hurt you like that, and how sorry I really was.”

I looked up into her eyes. “But then you found your power, and the sorceress you’ve become did it, without even thinking of what she was doing to the man she loved. And I’m still not sure you wouldn’t do it again. That’s the problem.”

“Right now, if what you said is true, you can’t touch me magically except to change me back. You took your shot, and I’m still standing. But if I become Ken again, all bets are off. I’m fair game. And I can’t ... I can’t make a life with you ... if all I have to look forward to is waiting for the next time you lose your temper. And how creative you might be when you do.” I slid over and stood up next to the booth.

My voice grew softer. “I do still love you. But I’d rather spend the rest of my life as Sophie Deems — periods, endless burning lust, and all — then spend it lying in bed next to you, living in fear.”

I reached onto my jacket pocket and threw some bills on the table. I had to get out of there before I broke down in tears.

“Goodbye, Sheila.”

###

It was a long walk home. The tears came almost before I left the parking lot, and I didn’t try to stop them. Why should I? I was a girl now, after all. Girls get to cry, right? Especially with as good a reason as this girl had.

When she told me that the women in her family sometimes manifested magical powers, I was happy for her. Not at first — after all, it took a bit of convincing to even believe in the possibility, but once I accepted her powers were real, how could I possibly be anything but supportive? Now that those same powers had taken my life and the woman I loved away from me, all I could feel was anger and sadness for everything that had been lost.

I was surprised when I realized that I was crying more for the death of my marriage than I was for losing the man I had been. Damn it, I had loved Sheila with all my heart. I still did, even after all that had happened.

But I couldn’t go back. I just couldn’t. As much as I hated to let my fear make the call for me, being Sophie had taught me that sometimes, fear was the only thing you could count on to keep you safe. The only defense I had against Sheila’s power was that she couldn’t use it against me now. As long as I stayed as I was, she couldn’t touch me magically. I was as safe as a teenaged girl could be — at least from her particular brand of magic.

So no matter how much I wanted my old life back, it wasn’t an option. It couldn’t be, not ever.

I had to be smart. I had to be strong.

I had to be ... Sophie.

###

So I went back to my new life, and I did my best not to look back. There was nothing left for me there.

Work was good. I liked it, because it was easy work (at least for me). I liked being nice to people, getting them their food and making sure their time at Dean’s was pleasant. It was also rewarding, because when you’re nice to people, they’re usually nice back, and that meant lots of tips. Besides, I was good at it. I had the kind of memory that made remembering orders easy, and regulars liked that I remembered them and asked about their lives and families.

As for men? I still flirted with the customers (and with danger) every day, and Jerry still flirted with me (which made me smile even as it scared me silly). The urges were still there, just as strong, but if they got to be too much, I just spent a little extra time hiding in the ladies room calming down until I could get back on the floor and keep serving.

Every night was just the same. Rush home and lock myself in, and hear Carolyn complain about how I needed to cut loose before she cuddled up with me and spent the night in front of the TV too. Maybe Carolyn said something to the others, but I wound up having to turn down nightly invitations to go out and party with Katie and Meg. I finally had to lie to them the way I did to Carolyn, and explain about the fictitious boyfriend who abandoned me, and how I wasn’t quite ready to get up close and personal with a guy again at the moment.

The truth was that Sophie was one girl who knew her limitations. Dealing with men in a work environment was hard enough, but I knew if I did the girl’s night out thing, one drink and one slow dance too many could wind up making me a slave to Sheila’s curse.

Still, it made me sad. I did like Katie and Meg, and I would have liked to go out with them and have a little fun for a change. Every time I turned them down, I felt more like a prisoner in my own skin. I couldn’t really move on. I couldn’t really be the girl I had become, because this last vestige of Sheila’s spell held me hostage.

Almost a week later, I went into work as usual and started waiting my tables. I flirted a bit with the businessmen who came in at lunch hour, but it seemed easier on me somehow, as if something was missing. It wasn’t until halfway through the lunch rush that I realized what was wrong. Or rather, right.

The urges were gone.

Oh, I could look at Jerry and agree with Carolyn (nice smile AND nice ass), but the thought of going to bed with him didn’t drive me crazy with lust anymore. On the other hand, it didn’t drive me away in disgust either. Instead, I found myself wondering what it would be like, and a little excited at the prospect of saying “yes,” just once.

Or maybe more than once.

The Ken in me wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. It scared me a little, since I’d never thought about men that way before. But since I had committed to being Sophie, I had to admit that being a girl meant thinking about men ... that way.

And if the urges truly were gone, maybe I could think about a future that didn’t involve variations of “duck and cover” when it came to the male of the species.

I was distracted and off-balance all afternoon, trying to work out how if I were truly free of the need to breed, not to mention how I really felt about Jerry and how I really felt about feeling the way I did about him.

By the end of the day, my responses to his flirting had become less put-downs and more playful. Every time Jerry smiled at me, I couldn’t help smiling back. And I had decided, I didn’t mind looking at Jerry’s bottom. In fact, I sort of enjoyed it.

And when Sheila was waiting for me in the parking lot after my shift that night, I wasn’t at all surprised.

I walked down to her car, where she waited, leaning against the fender. It was cold, and we both huddled in our coats and looked at each other.

“We could talk in the car, you know,” I said with a small smile.

She nodded. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You know, being in a space that small with me. I know you’re scared.”

“I never thought you planned to knife me, Sheila.” This time I grinned. “I’m just skittish around magic, that’s all. Since I’m still Sophie, I figure I’m still safe. And since you took the urges away, I’m better than safe. I’m almost happy.” I reached out and touched her arm. “Thank you.”

“I am sorry, Ken ... Sophie.” Shelia didn’t look at me. “I really, truly am. But you’re right. It was way too easy for me to even think of hurting you that way. I let the power take me places I never would have gone, because it made revenge so easy I didn’t even have to think about what I was doing. I nearly trapped you in a living Hell because of it.”

I saw her wince slightly. “Last week, I was so angry with you when you left me there in the diner. You loved me but you couldn’t trust me? After I told you I loved you and wanted you back, you denied me. I seethed with anger all the way home, and decided to let you suffer by leaving you as you were, wanting every man you saw while you fought every minute to keep yourself from giving in to the lust.”

“Every night, I imagined you living the rest of your life fighting this, or even better, finally giving in and becoming the sex-crazed slut you fought so hard against becoming for so long.” Her voice had turned bitter. “But the strange thing was, every time I thought about it, it gave me less and less pleasure. A small voice inside me kept nagging at me, becoming louder and louder with questions I didn’t want to answer. I loved you, didn’t I? Is this what you’re supposed to do to people you care about? I shouldn’t want to hurt you this way. What was wrong with me?”

“This morning I woke up and I realized you were right. Just the fact that I had left you still aching for a man’s touch after what you said at breakfast meant that I hadn’t grown nearly enough. You were right to be afraid of me.”

“So I took the need away.”

“Not all of it,” I said softly. Sheila turned to me, and I smiled, a little embarrassed. “Jerry really does have a nice ass. And a smile that makes me melt ... a little.”

She smiled, a little embarrassed herself, and turned away again.

“I left you with choices,” she said, “because before you had none. You’re bisexual now. I reduced Sophie’s lust for men to a more normal level, and brought back Ken’s lust for women.”

“Can I ask why?”

She shrugged. “I wanted you to have options, and not feel tied into wanting a man because of what I did. But I also remember Ken wanting a family, and how I always put him off, wanting to wait for just the right time. I thought it might be easier for Sophie to have the family Ken wanted if she enjoyed men the way Ken enjoyed ... me. And the way I enjoyed him.”

There was a long silence.

“I’ve also deposited half of our joint assets in Sophie’s bank account. You shouldn’t have to struggle to get the education you want because of my stupidity. You have enough now to go to school and be whatever you want in your new life. I wish you all the best.”

I was stunned into silence. “So that’s it? It’s over? You’ll just walk away?”

Sheila turned to me once more, and this time I saw the tears running down her face.

“I have to,” she whispered. “I have to let you go. That’s my punishment for what I did, because I do still love you, and I always will. The magic is mine forever. I can’t wish it away, because it’s a part of me now and always will be. But I wish to God I could, because it turned me into something I never wanted to be, and never want to be again — a cold angry bitch, who tried to destroy the man she loved.”

“It’s my fault you don’t trust me anymore. I’ve lost you because I went crazy with power, and I scared you so badly that you’d rather be a woman for the rest of your life than ever sleep beside me again. So my husband is gone. He’s never coming back, and I have to live with the fact that I ruined everything.”

She walked away from me, around the car and opened the driver’s side door.

“I know sorry isn’t nearly enough, but it’s all I have, and all I’ll ever be, now that I’ve lost you.” She looked at me once more, and her voice broke. “Goodbye ... Sophie.”

I stood there in the middle of the parking lot and watched her drive out of my life.

###

I took the bus home in silence, and walked up to the apartment door without even bothering to hold onto the pepper spray canister in my pocket. When I let myself in, the smell of tollhouse cookies hit me hard the minute I opened the door.

“Hey,” Carolyn called. I hung up my coat and shoulder bag and wandered into the kitchen. She was taking cookies off of a baking pan with a spatula.

“Hey,” I replied, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs and watching her work.

“You’re quiet.”

“I’m working on my mouse impression.” I reached out and juggled a hot cookie off of the plate. She smacked the back of my hand with the utensil but I popped my ill-gotten gains into my mouth and let the hot dough melt.

“Mice usually squeak.”

“The ones who don’t live longer. Even if they do end up alone.” I reached for another cookie, and suddenly I was sobbing, my whole body shaking. I didn’t even see it coming.

I heard Carolyn drop the spatula and I felt her come around to my side of the table. She wrapped both arms around me and just held me.

“Oh, baby,” she whispered, “what’s wrong?”

I couldn’t answer. All the pain I had held in just poured out, and I let her hold me, because I didn’t have the energy to pull away. Eventually the sobbing stopped, although the tears kept falling.

“Do you remember the boy I told you about? The one who stranded me with nothing?” I felt her nod. “He came back full of apologies, but I told him that even though I loved him, I couldn’t trust him anymore. And he went away for a while, but he came back today and met me after work. He told me he finally understood that he had done something incredibly mean and stupid, and ruined what we had out of anger. Then he said that even though he still loved me, there wasn’t any way he could regain my trust, and he had to let me go. He said losing me was his punishment for doing what he did, and then he drove away.”

She nodded again. “So what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to let him GO!” I started crying again. “I love him so much, but I can’t stay with him, and I can’t just let him leave me again! I can’t trust him, but I want to, so much. Oh God, I’m such a fucking mess! Why does everything have to be so hard?”

I just sat there, shoulders shaking and let the tears fall. Carolyn just kept holding me, giving me a squeeze now and then to remind me she was still there, but waiting patiently until the crying ran its course. When she felt I was ready, she stood up, took me by the hand, and walked me into the living room. She sat us both down on the sofa.

“Listen, baby girl,” she said, “love isn’t logical. It’s not supposed to be. It’s deep and mysterious and full of confusion and contradictions. People click, or they don’t, but whatever happens when you fall in love is too powerful to ignore. Just because it’s not ‘smart’ to love someone doesn’t mean you can just stop. That’s why so many girls end up stuck in abusive relationships. It’s not that they want to get hurt. They just can’t leave. Because when you fall in love, logic takes a vacation and doesn’t bother coming back.”

I gave her a long look, and after a minute, she nodded. “Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt — along with the bruises, broken bones, and whatever else he did to me before I ran. Even when I was gone, I kept thinking about him, wondering if he was okay. Wondering if maybe since he drove me away, he’d learned his lesson. Part of me wanted to leave the shelter and go back, see if he’d changed. But then one of the other women did just that, and spent three weeks in intensive care before she died.”

I squeezed her hand, and she gave me a small smile.

“The thing is, Sophie ... I get it.” Carolyn shook her head. “I know exactly what you’re feeling, because I felt it too. When it happens, love is so damned special, you can’t bear to let it slip away. But sometimes, you have to. Because if you don’t ... it will kill you.”

She looked into my eyes. “This guy ... he may be sorry now. But tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, he could lose his temper again. And ...”

“I get it, too, Carolyn.” I sighed. It was a ragged thing, and as it dragged itself out of me, it left a gaping hole in my heart. “I understand. It just ... it doesn’t make it any easier, you know? To ... to let him go.”

“I know, baby. It never is. I do know something that makes it less painful.”

I raise an eyebrow. She grins at me. “Chocolate chip cookies, and ice cold milk.”

I let go of her hand and give her a push. “Damn, girl! Food is your answer to everything!”

“Not just food — chocolate!!” She rose to her feet. “But tell me ... am I wrong?”

I sighed again, then shook my head. “No, you’re not. But I’m going to need an awful lot of cookies to make me feel ... not empty.”

“We’ll see what we can do.” Carolyn put both hands out, and when I took them, she pulled me up off the sofa and led me back towards the kitchen.

She makes a mean cookie, and the baked goods orgy was well worth the tummy ache that came later.

But I still missed Sheila.

###

Two weeks later, it was my birthday — well, Sophie’s birthday, really, but since I was Sophie (and had reluctantly decided I was going to be Sophie forever and ever, amen), it really was my birthday, now. I was eighteen again. I still couldn’t drink in a bar, but there was a fair amount of alcohol at home. Besides, in addition to throwing me a great party that went on and on into the night (even if it was attended by lots of people I didn’t know), Carolyn and Katie and Meg gave me the best gift ever.

They invited Jerry.

He and I had been spending more time together at work — taking breaks at the same time, hanging out when our shifts were done, and generally finding out more about each other. Now that I didn’t have to treat him like the enemy all the time, I realized that I actually liked him as a person. He was still young and sort of full of himself, but then again, Sophie was pretty young, too. Even though she didn’t have a lot of her own stories to tell, Jerry seemed happy being with her ... well, with me, too.

He was smart and funny, and I enjoyed hanging out with him. But at the same time, my body was doing its best to let me know that it enjoyed his company, too. He made me feel all warm and tingly in all the places I had been doing my best to ignore for so long.

It took a little effort and a lot of tossing and turning in the middle of the night, but I finally admitted to myself that I wanted him. After all, I was a woman now, and that wasn’t ever going to change. Was it so wrong of me to want him? Because I did. I wanted him to touch me, and hold me, and kiss me. And I wanted him inside me, on top of me and under me, doing all the things to me I used to do to Sheila that made her cry out and cling to me on all those nights so long ago.

So towards the end of the party, I decided to be bold. I took his hand, then led him to my bedroom and shooed out the couple that was already making out on my bed. Before I could change my mind, I locked the door behind them and turned to kiss him gently on the lips.

“Why Miss Deems, I do believe you’re trying to seduce me.” He smiled down at me and kissed me back, slowly.

The mangled quote from The Graduate wasn’t lost on me, but I looked up into his eyes and purred, “Trying? Judging by what I’m feeling pressed into my thigh, I think I’m doing better than trying.”

I started unbuttoning his shirt, and he pushed my hands away.

“Sophie, we can’t.”

“Why? Has it been so long?” I grinned. “Have you forgotten how?”

He looked away, a little uncomfortable. “Well ... you’re underage.”

“Not anymore. Or did you miss the ‘Happy Birthday, Sophie’ banner on the way in?”

Watching his face as he processed this information was priceless. When I was sure we were both on the same page, I started working on his shirt again and kissed his smiling lips. “I’m eighteen today, boy. So shut up and give me my present ... so I can give you mine.”

###

We cuddled with the lights off, happy that the party guests and music were still loud enough to cover the noises we both had made. I found myself with my head on his naked chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat. His arm was around me, his hand gently stroking my naked hip, and the wetness slipping down from between my thighs was accumulating under me to make that wet spot Sheila always used to complain about.

I didn’t care. I loved it. All of it. And I wondered why it didn’t bother me more.

Of course I didn’t wonder for long. I was cuddled up against a tasty bit of man, and I felt like giving it a bit of a taste. I moved my head slightly and gave his nipple a good lick. I felt him wiggle a bit. So I licked it again.

“Hey!” His voice rumbled through my head, from the ear pressed to his chest. “Those things don’t actually DO anything on a guy, you know.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I replied, giving it another lick. “This one seems to make you jump when I touch it with my tongue. I wonder what would happen if I bit it?”

His hand moved down and gave my bottom a soft smack. I laughed and buried my face in his chest again.

“Oh, from great sex to casual abuse,” I moaned. “What next?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He pulled away long enough to roll over on top of me. “Back to great sex. It’s the basis of all male-female relationships.”

I spread my legs as he rolled onto me and kissed him hard on the mouth, my hands coming up to cup his tight ass and squeeze it gently.

“I think we should leave the abuse out,” I whispered into his open mouth, “and just stick to the part where we both enjoy each other.”

I felt his naked hardness pressing into my leg. It took my breath away, and before I thought too much about it, I reached down, took hold of it, and slipped its massive head just inside me. Then I thrust my hips upward to capture it deep and tightened my muscles inside to keep him from slipping away.

“Mmmmmmm ...”

He shuddered and looked down at me. “That’s way dangerous, Sophie, and you know it. I go off inside you now, and nine months in the future, you’ll be cursing my name in a delivery room somewhere. And I don’t want that.” He grinned. “I kinda like the way you say my name now.”

I pouted, but he was right. With a sigh, I relaxed my muscles and let him slip out, then reached over and took a condom from the box next to the bed.

“It’s actually nice that you’re more worried about my getting pregnant than I am,” I said, as I rolled the condom over his erection. “That’s sweet.”

“Well, you’re going to have to meet me halfway from now on,” he growled. “Pulling out of you after being inside you like that was damned hard, girl.”

“Trust me, Jerry. It’s still damned hard.” I grinned and gave his latex-wrapped cock a pat. “Besides, I think the way we’re built, I’m ALWAYS going to have to meet you halfway ... and then some.”

I lay back and guided him inside me once more. He thrust his hardness into me, and I rocked under him as he moved above and inside me, my mouth devouring his with kiss after kiss. I felt desirable, wanted and lusted after, and oh so very wonderfully horny until I stopped thinking clearly for a while ... which turned out to be very, very nice, indeed.

###

Around five o’clock in the morning, I heard the last of the party guests walking out the door, and fifteen minutes later the other girls had given up on the cleaning up until later, and slipped into their bedrooms to sleep. Finally, the apartment was silent.

I lay in bed next to Jerry, both of us still naked. He was sleeping on his side facing away from me. He snored lightly, which was endearing, but when I buried my face in his back and wrapped myself around him, he smelled like man, which did interesting and frustrating things to my insides.

Of course the parts of me that were most interested in waking him and having my way with him were sticky and uncomfortable and more than a little sore. And considering everything we had done to make them that way, Jerry didn’t look to be waking up any time soon. So I decided to go get cleaned up, maybe find some food out in the mess and do a bit of thinking.

I had a lot to think about.

I stood up and wandered around the room, looking for something to wear. I picked up Jerry’s shirt and looked at it, then held it up to my body and grinned.

“Oh God, that is such a girl thing,” I whispered, then giggled. “Even thinking about it seriously... I must be crossing some kind of line ...”

Then I shook my head and laughed. ‘Considering everything you did tonight,’ I thought, ‘you crossed that line about a thousand miles back ... girl.’

I looked at the sleeping man, then back at his shirt, and before I could stop myself, I had slipped it on and was buttoning it. Of course it came down to mid-thigh, and with the sleeves rolled up and my hair all tousled, I looked exactly the way I expected to look.

Damned sexy. And I liked it.

Besides, the shirt smelled like him, and I liked that, too.

I wandered out into the hall and down to the bathroom. It was a mess, thanks to the guests, and I sighed and pulled a box of antiseptic wipes out from under the sink. I cleaned the toilet seat and the area in front of it as best I could before sitting down, which made the seat colder against my bare bottom than I would have liked. I’d been a woman long enough to get used to having to sit down for everything, but that didn’t make a cold toilet seat any more comfortable for its familiarity.

Afterwards, I thought about taking a bath, but settled instead for something quick and careful, standing at the sink with a hot, wet facecloth and some body wash. I did my best to get rinse off the worst of the night’s stickiness all over, and even though it did make me feel fresher, I kept a bath on my list of things to do later.

I walked into the kitchen, still in Jerry’s shirt, and brewed myself a pot of coffee. I sat down at the kitchen table, careful to tuck the shirttails under me, and let my mind spin a little.

It had a lot of spinning to do. Because I had liked tonight. A lot.

No, I had loved it.

It all felt so good. Actually, it felt great. Which was a bit disturbing to the man I used to be, in a way, because it wasn’t a bit disturbing. In fact, it felt wonderful. Once Sheila had freed me from that awful oppressive need, I had discovered a deep warm desire I had never expected to feel for a man. I went back to work the next day, and it wasn’t long at all before something inside me knew I wanted Jerry, even if the rest of me needed a bit of convincing. I wanted him to want me, and chase me, and catch me. And I wanted him on top of me, inside me, making love to me, making me scream with joy.

And when it finally happened, I wanted it all again. Over and over.

‘Hell,’ I thought with a lazy smile. ‘I want him right now. I want to walk in and curl back up against his naked back and press myself into him until he wakes up and takes me again.’

It was just right, and it shouldn’t have been. But I didn’t care. If this was what it really felt like to be a woman, I never wanted it to stop.

‘Damn, Sheila.’ I raised my coffee up in a silent salute, even as I felt a pang of sadness for my lost love. ‘That’s good magic.’

I leaned forward and felt my breasts shift under Jerry’s shirt, my hair move across my shoulders, my body balance over my hips. For the first time in months, it felt so right being Sophie. Being me. I smiled again.

“Wow, girl.” Carolyn stood in the doorway, wrapped in her bathrobe wearing a smile of her own. “I love that smile. You may have missed the rest of the party, but I don’t think you care.”

I shook my head slowly, still smiling.

“Jerry and I had a party of our own.” My voice came out sounding like a throaty purr, and I laughed. “God, Carolyn, you were so right.”

“About what? I’m right about so many things.” She grinned, poured herself a cup of coffee, and sat down across from me.

“Weeks ago, when I was still scurrying into the house every night and locking the door behind me, you told me ‘a hard man is good to find,’” I replied, still purring. “You said I needed somebody to loosen me up in all the right places. You were right. I haven’t felt this happy in months.”

Carolyn reached over and put her hand on mine. “I’m glad. You really did need to stop being so afraid all the time. After what that other guy did to you, I thought you’d sworn off men forever.”

“I had.”

‘As if Sheila’s curse gave me any other choice,’ I thought with a frown.

Carolyn saw the look on my face and gave my hand a squeeze, and I smiled at her. “But it couldn’t last. Jerry kept flirting, and I flirted back. My body started responding, and once I finally let my guard down long enough to get to know him ...” I felt myself shudder, remembering last night. “Oh, Carolyn, it was so wonderful last night! I couldn’t believe how it felt ... how he felt.”

She grinned, and I blushed in spite of myself.

“Well, it’s true,” I said, and she laughed. “I can barely walk— heck, I can hardly sit down. But all I can think of is going back in there and making him wake up so I can have him inside me again.”

“Down, girl!” Carolyn patted my hand and sipped her coffee. “If you kill him, you’ll have to find another guy like him. And it isn’t that easy, as you’ve noticed.”

I nodded and looked down. “Honestly, I can’t believe how ... hungry I am for him. I feel like such a slut.”

She slapped my hand hard and my head snapped up.

“Don’t you DARE!” Her eyes were a little angry. “You are NOT a slut. I hate that word, and all the shit that goes with it. I knew too many girls in high school ... when some jealous bitch decided to hang that word on them, they were never able to shake it off.”

Carolyn took my hand once more and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Remember how you felt last night? How you feel now? You’re alive again for the first time since we met. Lust is a good thing, girl. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different. As long as you’re careful about who you choose to be with, you’re never going to be a slut. And this time, you were so careful, you almost let this guy get away. Hell, Sophie, you’ve practically been a nun the entire time I’ve known you.”

I gave her a small smile, then laughed and tossed my head. “I think this sister has broken that habit, don’t you?”

“Thank God!” The older girl replied, and we touched coffee cups and drank.

###

It lasted three weeks. Three beauttiful, unbelievably perfect weeks.

I learned what it felt like to touch and be touched again, to be held by someone who cared for me and wanted to show me just how much. And I learned what it felt like to care for a man the way he should be cared for — all the little things a woman does to show her man how much he means to her.

I would bring him breakfast in bed every day we were together, even if it was sometimes just a cup of coffee, and I always snuggled with him while he drank it. Some days, I had him for my breakfast in bed first. I would slip under the covers and wake him with my mouth or my body until he cried out and exploded inside of me, and I loved the feeling of knowing I could bring him such pleasure so easily.

Strangely, all of this made me feel even closer to Sheila. It was as if the more of a woman I became, the more I understood the woman I still loved deep inside. When we were first going out, and even into the early years of our marriage, this was the kind of loving attention she gave me, and I felt a warm feeling deep inside me remembering how things were for us both back then.

Before her powers manifested, and she changed. I pushed the thought away.

Just like Sheila used to do for me, I always tried to look my best for Jerry, even when we were alone. I wanted him to know I didn’t take him for granted, not ever. And when we went out with his friends, I never, ever dressed down. I wanted them to see that Jerry had managed to catch himself a very sexy lady, even if they kept teasing him about it. They couldn’t figure out why someone like me would ever go for someone like him.

I couldn’t tell them why, because they wouldn’t have understood. But it was the way he made me feel when we got home ... when we curled up in bed at his place or mine, and he touched me so gently, and kissed me so softly, as if I would break. Then he would do his best to split me in half with the kind of lovemaking that made me bury my face in his shoulder to keep my moans and screams from waking everyone in the building.

He wanted me to know how much I meant to him, too.

Three glorious, wonderful weeks.

And then it was over.

###

I wore black to the funeral. After all, it was expected.

But I didn’t stop with the simple black dress, oh no. Black bra, black thong, black slip, black garter belt, black stockings, black pumps.

I wore the rest to remind me of all that I had lost, because I had worn the same lingerie for him a week before the accident that took him from me. I had wanted to drive him crazy with desire, so I removed my clothing a piece at a time, revealing the sexy things beneath with a naughty smile, just to tease him.

Jerry watched my slow striptease with soft, loving eyes. Then he stood up, took my hand, and led me over to the bed, but instead of going wild, he treated me like a precious gift. He unwrapped the rest of me slowly and with great care, kissing every part he revealed until I stood there naked and a little surprised. And then he picked me up and placed me in the bed, and loved me gently into the night.

Yes, loved me. As I loved him.

I had shied away from that word since the first night we had slept together, because I still loved Sheila, and it felt wrong somehow. But that night and all the days that followed, I used it, over and over. Because I couldn’t hide from it anymore. I loved him. He loved me. And that was that.

Only now it wasn’t. I still loved him, ached for him. But he was gone. Like Sheila before him, gone.

I sat in the ladies room of the funeral home on a strategically placed sofa, hidden behind a large potted plant. The man in me still wondered what the hell a sofa was doing in a bathroom, but I didn’t mind. It was someplace comfy to sit while I waited for everyone else to go away.

The others had moved on to follow the hearse to the cemetery, but I didn’t want to be there when his body was lowered into the ground. The thought of his warm body alone in that darkness, cold and empty . . . I just couldn’t bear it.

I had bought myself a car — a used late-model VW Beetle I had bought with some of the money Sheila had deposited in my account — but it was hidden, parked behind the building, and most of the others assumed I had headed out to the burial site early. That was fine with me. I didn’t want them to think any differently. I wanted some time alone, to mourn.

But now that I was here, alone in the quiet, I felt strangely numb. The man I loved was dead, and it hurt so badly for so long that I could hardly breathe from the pain. Now, suddenly, I couldn’t seem to feel his loss. Instead, I felt cold and empty inside, as if I would never feel anything again.

“Why?” I whispered, my voice cracking. “Why did you give me another chance to be happy, only to steal it away? Jerry ...” I felt the tears start, and opened my heart to let them come. “Oh God, Jerry ... how could I lose you too?”

Memories rose up and battered me ... his easy smile, those beautiful eyes ... how he touched me ... how he made me feel, every time I thought about him ...

My whole body shook with the force of my sobbing, and I could barely breathe. I opened my mouth to cry out loud ...

... and two soft arms wrapped themselves around me and pulled me into an embrace.

“Shhhhh,” Shelia said softly, stroking my hair. “I’m here, baby. It’s okay. Let it all out.”

And I did. I cried and cried, and between the tears and my runny make-up, I made a horrid mess of her black silk blouse. But that didn’t matter. She just held me and let me know she was there. I told her all about my time with Jerry, about the joy I found in being his woman and the despair that came with his loss. I poured my heart out to her because no matter what she had done to me, I still loved her with all of my heart, and I knew that her coming here tonight and sharing my pain meant that, even with everything that had happened, she still loved me too.

Eventually, the tears stopped, but I stayed in her arms because it just felt right.

“It’s been so hard,” I whispered, not looking up. “I just ... I loved you so much, and then I lost you. And then I gave myself to him, and let myself love him, and now he’s gone, too. Is this what love is? Find someone who makes you glad to be alive, and then the world just takes them away? Is this how it’s always going to be?”

Shelia was quiet for a moment. I could hear her heart beating as my head rested on her chest. Then she gave me a gentle squeeze and kissed my hair.

“You never really lost me, Sophie,” she replied, and I could hear the sorrow in her voice. “For a while, I lost myself. I took myself away from you when I let my temper and the power push me into trying to ... do what I did to you. But when you climbed out of the trap my anger pushed you into, I realized I was so wrong, and that I loved you too much to ever hurt you. But by then it was too late.”

“I told you I needed to punish myself for what I did to you. I tried to stay away so you could live your new life without me. I managed, but it was so hard, like losing half of me. Just now, when I felt you hurting so much, I didn’t even think. I don’t know how I did it, but I wound up here with my arms around you. I love you so much, I couldn’t bear thinking of you going through this alone.”

I put my arms around her, and it was my turn to hold her. With a shuddering sigh, I knew deep inside that what was past was finally past. Sometimes, when you love someone, the only path open to you is forgiveness. No matter what Carolyn said, I loved Sheila too much to ever let her go again. I could sense her feeling the change in me, and I felt the wetness of her tears as they fell on my neck.

“I love you, too, Sheila,” I whispered. “I never stopped, not even when I woke up like this. Even when I was so in love with Jerry, you were still there, always in my heart. I can’t bear not being with you. I can’t let you go again.”

She nodded and held me tighter.

“Always and forever, love,” she replied softly, and kissed my forehead.

My stomach picked that moment to make a noise like an angry kitten, and I felt Shelia tense up.

“When did you eat last, baby?” I shook my head.

“Can’t remember.” My voice was muffled as I spoke into her breast. “After Jerry died, it didn’t seem important anymore.”

“Well, it’s important now.” I could hear the smile in her voice through her tears. “I just got you back, honey. I’m not about to let you waste away.”

I raised my head and looked into her eyes. “That diner where we almost had breakfast isn’t far. Want to try for dinner this time?”

She kissed my forehead. “Absolutely.”

###

It was wonderful just being with her again, even as Sophie. No more fear, no more doubt or worry. No more being separated from my other half, the woman who made my life worth living for so long.

Even though I still mourned for Jerry, the woman I had loved for longer than Sophie had been alive was mine once more, and I felt her love surrounding me. She kept reaching out and touching my hand, as if she wanted to make sure I was real ... that this was all real. I kept smiling back every time she’d reach out.

The waitress smiled at us both when she brought our coffee.

“It’s so nice to see a mother and daughter care the way you two do,” she said, and headed back towards the kitchen as the two of us looked at each other and smothered a laugh.

“It’s sort of understandable,” Shelia said, looking at me with her head tilted to one side. “Except for you being blonde and ... very much more blessed by the breast fairy than I ever was, I am old enough to be your mom now. And there is a sort of family resemblance.”

I squeezed her fingers. “Well, not for too much longer. That is, if you want your husband back instead of a surrogate daughter?”

She pretended to think about it. “Well, I don’t know. You seem so comfortable as a girl now — more so than you ever were as Ken. You’ve grown into being Sophie somehow, and it seems to suit you. Won’t you miss it?”

I thought for a moment, then smiled. “A lot of it, yes. I love the closeness I felt with Carolyn and the other girls in the apartment. I loved being Jerry’s woman, more than I thought possible. When I thought I’d be Sophie forever, I wondered about having my own children, and I wondered what it would be like to be pregnant with his babies. I actually liked the idea a lot. You know I’ve always wanted kids, and being the one to give birth didn’t seem nearly as scary when I thought Jerry would be the father.”

“But I could do without the fear of being ... attacked whenever I’m out alone.” I took a sip of coffee and stared out the window into the parking lot. “I won’t miss the periods, or the PMS and the mood swings, or always having to watch what I eat. And I’ll happily say goodbye to the wandering hands of the drunk guys at the restaurant when it gets close to closing time.” I looked back at Sheila, and she felt my sadness. “I will miss Carolyn and Katie and Meg. But once you change me back to Ken, they’ll forget I was ever there, won’t they?”

Shelia nodded. “Pretty much. I’ll remove the spell, the magic will all bounce back to me, and everything will be as it was.”

A thought occurred to me. “Jerry was on his way to pick me up at Walmart when he was killed. Since I wasn’t there to change the flow of events, will he ... will he still be alive?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, giving me a small smile. “I’m still new at this, remember? It would be nice if things changed enough to bring him back, but then again, he won’t remember Sophie either.”

“That doesn’t matter.” I grinned back at her. “Truth is, as Carolyn said, a hard man is good to find, and Jerry is a good man as well as being ... well, you know. I’d love for her to find him, and for both of them to share the happiness I felt with him.”

“Well, maybe we can make that happen, if things work out. After all, the power itself isn’t evil. I’m supposed to use it to do good, not just throw temper tantrums. Maybe I can start a new career as a magic matchmaker.”

“I wonder if there are rules about using your abilities. After what you did to me, I would think the ability to rewrite ... well, everything ... could bring world peace, or end hunger and disease.”

Sheila shook her head. “Gran said there’s a reason for everything, and some things shouldn’t be tampered with because the Goddess made them that way for a purpose. Part of my training is to see what should be touched and what should be left alone.”

“Amanda is teaching you? I knew you were going off for training, but I guess it never occurred to me to wonder who you were training with.”

“Yes, Gran is my mentor. She’s the last in the family with the power before me. It’s her responsibility to teach me to use it wisely.”

I looked over the rim of my cup. “Does she know what you did to me?”

She looked away, and her voice became hushed. “Once I realized what I’d done, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. She would have been so disappointed in me. I know I am.” After a pause, Sheila looked back and smiled.

“Anyway, now I won’t have to tell her! Ready to come home?”

I took her hand. “I’m already there.”

###

We paid for the meal and went out to my car. The parking lot was empty, and we stood there facing each other, silly smiles on our faces.

“So ... what do we do?” I asked.

“You just wait, baby,” she replied. “I’ll do all the work.”

She closed her eyes, and I closed mine too. I felt something rush through me, or over me. It was almost like a cold wind that wrapped itself around me, but then it passed. I expected something different, but I was still Sophie, still dressed in her black dress and lingerie under her Goodwill denim coat. Sheila’s eyes opened, and her face went white.

“Goddess!” she breathed. “Something’s wrong!”

She closed her eyes again, and I felt the cold wind again, but the result was the same. Still Sophie.

“What is it?” I whispered. She took my hands, and I could see her fear.

“I’m not sure. I could be wrong, but ... the spell I used on you ... it’s gone.” I looked at her, confused. “The spell I used to change you ... it’s like it never existed. It’s like you were always Sophie, clear to your core. And Ken is just ... gone. Or he’s so much a part of the woman you’ve become that I can’t bring him back anymore.”

I could see her thinking hard, and then her face became a mask of grim determination. I reached out and touched her cheek with my fingertips, and she took my hand and kissed it gently.

“I guess I’m going to have to tell Gran after all, if I want my soul mate back.” She kissed my fingers again. “And I do.”

I stood on tiptoe and kissed her gently on the lips.

“I’ll drive,” I whispered.

###

It was a two-hour trip to her grandmother’s house. Since Sheila didn’t know how she teleported to the funeral home, we took my Beetle. We held hands almost the whole way, except when I needed to shift, and when we pulled up to the family homestead, it was just approaching dark.

It was a huge house, imposing in broad daylight and just a little ominous as the evening shadows rose.

We both got out of the car, and I stood there on the gravel drive next to her, balancing precariously on my stiletto heels.

“We should go in together,” I said softly. “She needs to see we still love each other, even after all that’s happened.”

Sheila shook her head. “That comes later, I think,” she replied. “First, I need to tell my teacher I misused my power. Then I need to bring you in and show her just how much and how badly I messed up. And then I need to beg her for her help.”

“No need to beg, child.” The voice came from the doorway.

“Gran?” Sheila’s voice trembled, and an older woman stepped into the courtyard. It was Amanda.

She was just as I remembered her from the last time we had met. An older version of Sheila, her eyes were a deep vivid green, and her hair was grey but still long, and gathered at the back of her neck with a turquoise and silver clip that looked Native American. She was an anthropologist, and had spent many years in the field, so her skin was weathered by sun and wind, but it enhanced her innate beauty instead of detracting from it.

When I met her, shortly before the wedding many years ago, she had seemed a bit cool to me. I got the vague impression at the time that she felt I was unworthy of her granddaughter, but I wasn’t quite sure why. Eventually I realized that she disapproved of me just because I was a man. We had seen her at family functions over the years, and although Amanda had thawed somewhat towards me, I didn’t think she’d ever embrace me as part of the family.

It came as some surprise to me when, after quickly hugging her granddaughter, she walked over and hugged me as well.

“Welcome, Sophie,” she said softly, and when she pulled back, I could see her smile. “Despite the mess Sheila tried to drop you into, you’ve turned out well.” My eyes widened, and the smile became a grin. “Yes, I know who you were, and who you are, and why you’re here.”

Amanda took my hands in hers and stared deep into my eyes, then sighed and shook her head.

“Did you think I wouldn’t know what you did, Sheila?” She spoke without turning, and her voice contained both sorrow and a touch of anger. Sheila looked down, clearly ashamed. “You let your rage fuel your power, and did this to the man you loved. Now, you want to fix it and have your husband back, and you can’t. I can tell you why you can’t — but I don’t think it will help.”

The older woman put her arm around me, and began leading me inside.

“This conversation is better held sitting down, over a cup of tea,” she said. As she passed Sheila, she reached out and pulled her close, hugging her with her other arm. “Don’t look so down, child. I still love you. Just ... disappointed, I guess. In both you and myself.”

###

The kitchen was warm and cozy, and the tea was warm and sweet. Sheila told her grandmother everything that had happened since she cast her spell, and Amanda listened in silence. After she was done, Sheila and I waited as the older woman thought for a moment. Then she sighed softly, looked into her cup, and began.

“I’m not mad at you, child. I should have watched you closer. I’m sad that you didn’t come to me sooner. Not that it would have changed anything.”

She looked up at her granddaughter. “Sheila, the reason why you can’t change Sophie is because of how you changed her — and why. One of the first things I taught you was that it was important to keep your emotions under control when using your talents. This wasn’t just to ensure that spells were done properly, although the prohibition serves that function, too. No, the reason is far more devastating, for you and Sophie, and for the world. Because the emotion with which a spell is cast determines how strongly that spell affects reality — and how much the results of that spell becomes the reality we all share.”

“You weren’t taught this at the time because the spells we were working with were simple. Once you had mastered control of your emotions, I would have explained why you needed to before we could move on to more complex enchantments.”

Amanda turned to me, “But you went way beyond our lessons when you did this to Ken. You were never supposed to do change another human being like this, let alone do it with your heart full of anger. And that anger ... had consequences.”

She reached out and took our hands, and squeezed gently.

“As a result of your rage, the magic was so powerful that it made Sophia Louise Deems real. Even though Ken stole her name from a gravestone, your spell latched onto it and worked to make a place for her in the reality we all share. Now, Sophie’s actual mother and father died in a house fire six months ago, leaving her to the mercy of the state. When her ex-boyfriend threw her out of his car and left her hundred of miles from her foster home with nothing but the clothes on her back, she decided to make her way on her own, and Ken’s struggles to make a new life for himself became Sophie’s.”

“When you cast your spell, you chose to hide Ken’s absence by having him die in a plane crash. Again, the spell made that a reality, albeit in a roundabout way. There is no way back for Ken, because Sophie is a fixed point in our reality. No magic can touch her now. No magic can change her. She is who she is, and that’s who she will always be.”

Sheila looked stunned, and shook her head. “That can’t be, gran! I did change her. I took the blinding lust off of her. I even made her bisexual, so she could have more of a choice in her future!”

Amanda sighed. “No, child. You could take most of the lust away because it was the last thing you placed on her when you transformed her. That’s how powerful you are. But the lust is still there, although not as strong as it was. Sophie fought it for so long that even lessening it as you did made her feel like it was gone ... that she was completely free.”

“As a result, Sophie is a girl who loves making love. She enjoys loving and being loved by a man, as her time with Jerry proved. But more than that, the magic continued to work on her until she became a woman all the way to her core. She’s become Sophie. She loved Jerry with all her heart and soul. She would have married him in a heartbeat, and had his babies without a second thought.”

“But you couldn’t make her bisexual, because she’s a permanent fixture of our reality as you first made her. Your original spell irrevocably changed her sexual orientation ... towards men. You wanted her to want men, and so she does, even as the woman she has become. She has no desire for sex with women. None at all.”

Amanda took both of Sheila’s hands and squeezed. “So even if you changed your own orientation to want her as she is, she can’t possibly reciprocate. She loves you, but she can’t ever want you that way again. The spell saw to that.” The older woman looked into my wife’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Sheila, but your marriage is over.”

I saw the color drain from her face, and the tears began to fall as she realized her one instant of anger had ruined everything ... for both of us. She started trembling all over, and her whole body shook from the force of her sobs. Amanda stood up and pulled Sheila into her arms and held her. I stood up as well, and started around the table to hug her as well, but the older woman’s eyes flashed and I froze in my tracks.

‘I know you mean well, Sophie,’ her voice echoed in my head, ‘but right now, you’re a living reminder of what she did. She knows you love her, but she also knows that her actions destroyed her marriage and killed her husband, and left you in his place. I think you need to go for a while, and I need to help her heal as best I can.’

I couldn’t move my lips, but I thought back at her as hard as I could.

‘NO! I love her and she needs me! How can I just leave her like this? I won’t.’ Amanda looked at me thoughtfully, and I grew angry. ‘You can’t make me go!’

‘I can and I will,’ she replied, ‘because right now she needs me more. But Sophie ... if I can figure out how to fix this, I will. I promise. For her ... and for you.’

I saw her lips move, and suddenly the world shimmered ...

... and I was standing in my bedroom at home. The freeze lifted instantly, and I howled at the ceiling in frustration and began to cry.

“No!” I yelled through the tears. “Why did you do that? Why?”

The rage quickly turned to tears as I realized I was too far away to get back there in time to do anything to help, and I felt as if I had failed her when she needed me most. I fell on the bed and cried until I was too tired to stay awake, and finally slept.

###

Two agonizing days passed, and I was forced to acknowledge my own limitations in the face of a magic user who truly knew what she was doing, and didn’t want me around. Amanda had erased the location of her home from my mind, so I couldn’t find my way back, even if I had my car, which I didn’t. Apparently transporting an eighteen-year-old woman is easy if you leave her Volkswagen behind.

Or maybe she did it on purpose to keep me away from Sheila.

I went back to work, but I just couldn’t concentrate, and Dean sent me home, thinking I needed more time to get past Jerry’s death. I spent a lot of time alone, listening to music and trying to reach out to my wife across the distance between us. But if she felt me, or answered, I didn’t know.

I felt so alone, so hopeless and powerless.

And then, in the middle of the second night, I woke up and heard Amanda calling me.

‘Sophie? Sophie, can you hear me?’

I sat up and stared straight ahead. ‘Yes! I can hear you!’

‘Good! I think I’ve found a way to make things right,’ she said, ‘but I’m going to need your help.’

I thought about how angry I had been with Amanda, and she felt it and sighed. ‘I’m sorry I had to keep you away, but I needed her to focus on helping to find a way to get past this, and you being there to remind her of her mistakes would have kept her from thinking clearly. Now I think we can fix this, but you need to be a part of it.’

I took a deep breath and sighed, letting the anger go. ‘Of course I want to help, in any way I can.’ There was a short silence. ‘What do I do?’

Then I heard Sheila.

‘Ken?’ Her mental voice trembled with emotion. ‘Sophie? Can you hear me?’

‘Yes, beloved, I can hear you!’

Suddenly she was there, in my mind, her face drawn and tired from lack of sleep, those beautiful eyes filled with tears and red from days of crying.

She burst out crying again. ‘Can you ever forgive me?’

‘I forgave you already, remember?’ I reached out mentally and touched her face. ‘I’m fine with being a woman. It’s who I am, now. But I’m not going to give up on us, not ever. Magic or not, love always finds a way. And I will always love you. Always and forever.’

I stepped forward, into the dream or vision or whatever it was, and wrapped my arms around her, kissing the remnants of her tears away. The love I felt for her swelled up and ran through us both, and we both shuddered from the strength of it as it warmed us, lifted us, and wrapped us in its embrace.

While we reeled from the sheer power of what we shared, I felt Amanda touch our minds and release a flood of memories of our lives together that were so vibrant and alive, they brought us even closer, and fueled the fire of our love with shared experience. The passion that led us to the altar and stayed with us through the years ... the good times we had shared, and the challenges we had overcome together ... it was like living our lives over again.

Each shared memory brought us even closer, raising the strength of our connection to heights I never dreamed possible, until we reached a point where we stopped being two women locked in an embrace ...

... and became two souls united by a love that burned so brightly, nothing could stand in its way.

I heard Amanda’s triumphant ‘YES!’ in my mind an instant before the two of us were torn from each other’s arms, and my vision of Sheila disappeared in a swirl of lights and sound as everything went black.

###

I opened my eyes, and the room was full of light. It was morning, and I wondered about what had happened in the middle of the night. What exactly did we do? Or did we do anything at all. Was it just a dream?

I was curled up on my side at the edge of the bed, facing towards the door and snuggled under covers. I felt warm and safe, and strangely content for the first time since that night when Amanda sent me away and cut me off from my beloved.

So it came as quite a shock when I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around my middle and pull me into a very warm, loving, and undeniably male embrace. For a second, I relaxed into it, enjoying the sensations that flowed through me. It felt so right, like a continuation of the dream.

Then I remembered I had been alone the night before.

‘Who was in bed with me now?’

As I started to struggle, a strong hand placed itself on my tummy and gently pressed me back into the warmth of him, and a hardness that made my inside stir with possibilities.

“Shhhhhh,” whispered a familiar voice, although it seemed a few octaves lower than the last time I heard it. “It’s me, baby. Everything’s going to be just fine now. If you still want me, that is.”

I turned in his arms and found myself looking into those eyes ... those beautiful eyes that had captured me so long ago, framed by a young male face with a soft smile that widened into a grin as he saw the look in my eyes an instant before I kissed him.

After an instant of hesitation, he kissed me back, and I melted into the arms of the man my wife had become, and enjoyed the sensation of being well and thoroughly loved.

###

A long, wonderful time later, I lay in his arms and breathed him in, and felt him sigh.

“Sheila? Not your name anymore, I’m thinking,” I whispered. He shook his head.

“Shel, now,” he replied, one hand coming up to cup a breast and squeeze gently. “Amanda’s little joke, naming me Sheldon. A bit geeky, but I sorta like Shel.”

“And you’re as young as I am.” Pressing my face into his neck, I licked gently, then bit, just a little. He shivered, and the other hand slid down to caress my bottom.

“A little older.” He paused a second. “I’m actually supposed to be ... our son. The one we never had. Sheila died in the same plane crash that Ken did, and I inherited everything. Amanda thought it would be best, to keep us from losing all we had.”

I raised myself enough to look into his face, and Shel looked back, his face a little uncertain. “Is it ... is it okay?”

I smiled and kissed him.

“Of course, love,” I said, and kissed him again. “In fact, I see a bit of Ken in you. The nose ... and the lips, I think. It’s nice that some of him survived ... other than what’s in here.” I touched my chest, and noticed I was wearing an engagement ring. It was the one I had given Sheila, and I held it up to the light to see it sparkle.

“I guess this time around, I get the pretty ring.”

“That’s okay,” he replied and kissed my forehead. “I get you, so it’s all good.”

I felt warm all over, and snuggled back into him with a contented sigh. We lay there like that for a while, and then I thought of something.

“So why did it take two days?”

“It took a day and a half to convince Amanda that this is what I truly wanted, and another half a day to get her to agree to give up her granddaughter for a great grandson.” He sighed. “The fact that I would lose the power didn’t help my argument, until I promised her we’d have a daughter to pass it on to, eventually.”

I raised my head again, and gave him a sharp look. “Did you? Without asking me?” I hmphed, and put my head back down on his chest.

“Well, you did say you wanted a family, and I thought ...” Shel stopped suddenly, feeling me shaking with silent laughter. He slapped my bottom. “Hey!”

I kissed his chest. “I’m sorry, love. I just couldn’t resist. You know I still want to raise a family with you. Of course, we’ll have to work very hard to make that happen.”

I could feel my beloved look down at me, and I looked up and grinned. “Remember, honey ... getting pregnant takes a while, and hundreds of time, nothing happens at all. So if great-grandmama wants a girl child to carry on the legacy, persistence is the key.”

Shel grinned and stroked my hair. “You’ve always been an industrious sort.”

I nodded. “Oh yes, you know I’ve always been a hard worker.”

He shook his head. “No, I think that’s me, now.”

“Really?” I reached down and wrapped my free hand around the length of him. “Oh, yes, very hard indeed.”

There was a knock at the door.

“Hey, you two,” Carolyn said, her hand rattling the doorknob. I let go of Shel and scrambled to pull the covers up before the door swung open. I just made it in time.

“Hey yourself!” I shot back. “Do you mind?”

“No, I don’t, actually.” She grinned. “I’m more than happy to come in here and pull Shel out of ... bed before you make each other sore.”

I stuck my tongue out at her.

“We were all going out to breakfast today, if you remember,” she went on, still grinning. “Unless you’d rather do breakfast in bed, Sophie? Fancy a bit of ... sausage?”

I groaned. A familiar voice piped up from the hallway.

“Oh, come on, babe,” Jerry said, stepping into the doorway. I almost screamed until I remembered that the times had changed for the better ... and not just for Shel and I. Then I just smiled.

It was good to have him back.

“Stop teasing the poor girl. That’s my job.” He leaned against the doorjam and crossed his arms. “Hey, Shel.”

My fiance raised his hand in a lazy wave and smiled. “Hey, Jer. Fair warning -- don’t you ever tease Sophie again.”

I smiled up at him. “Thanks, honey.”

He grinned down at me. “From now on, that’s MY job.”

I pouted and slapped his chest. It felt like I hit a wall, and as I yelped and shook my hand in the air, I suddenly remembered how much Sheila loved to work out.

“Oh God,” I muttered into his shoulder. “I bet you lift weights, too.” He nodded, and I sighed. “This is going to take some getting used to.”

Shel laughed and hugged me close, and I realized there was an upside to the weight lifting. It felt wonderful to have two strong arms holding me tight.

“So ... breakfast?” Carolyn asked brightly, wrapping her arm around Jerry’s waist. ‘It’s the most important meal of the day!”

“You’re so into food, it’s scary,” I said, giving her a small smile.

“I’m not nearly as into it as I used to be, since I found Jerry,” she replied, giving him a squeeze. “Besides, a girl needs fuel, Sophie, you know that ... particularly if she needs to keep up with this guy. So ... breakfast?”

“Tell you what,” Shel answered for both of us. “If you get out of here right now and let us get dressed, I’ll pick up the check.”

“Whoa,” Carolyn said. “Free food? I’m in. Come on, love, let’s wait in the kitchen.”

She grabbed him by the hand and dragged him away. I popped out of bed and closed the door. I locked it quickly, then turned to find Shel looking at me with a wicked smile on his face.

“What?” I put my hands on my hips and tilted my head.

“This being a guy thing is going to take some getting used to,” he said, blushing a little. “I see you standing there like that, and all sorts of ideas start running through my head.”

I walked slowly to the edge of the bed, adding a little extra swivel to my hips, and watched his eyes follow me the whole way. Then he pulled back the covers, and I got my first look at my beloved’s new body from head to toe. I felt weak all over, and warm, and Shel held out his hand ...

... and suddenly I was back in bed beside him. I was back in his arms before I realized I had moved, and I couldn’t bear the thought of being anywhere else.

“I know exactly what you mean,” I whispered, my lips just touching his. “All sorts of ideas ...”

###

I lay there in his arms again, my head on his chest, and sighed. I knew that Carolyn was going to want breakfast soon, and as much as I loved that girl, breakfast meant we were going to have to get up and get cleaned up and put on clothes, and I’d have to share Shel with the rest of the world for a while.

‘Still,’ I thought, ‘I suppose I can’t expect us to spend the rest of our lives in bed. Damn.’

I listened to him breathe for a bit, then I had a thought.

“Shel?”

Not a word. I sighed. Silly man went back to sleep. So I gave his chest a kiss. Nothing. I sighed, then moved my head slightly and gave his nipple a tiny bite. His whole body twitched, and I grinned.

“Shel?” I said again.

“Hmmm?”

“Why did you and Amanda come to me last night? Why did you need my help?”

He stirred, and one hand began to gently stroke my hip.

“In order for all of this to work,” he said slowly, “Sheila had to die with Ken in the plane crash, and Sheldon needed twenty years of past history. We also had to overcome just enough of your status as a fixed point in history to slip me into your life. That meant we had to counter some small parts of the spell I cast, powered by Sheila’s anger and hatred. According to Amanda, even the smallest change was impossible. But to me, it just meant we needed more power than even Gran and I had combined. So we reached out to you. And it worked.”

“But I’m not magical.” I held him tighter. “Never was.”

“Yes, you were,” Shel replied. “We were. We still are. You and I, Ken and Sheila, had the one thing we needed to make it all happen. It’s the same thing Sheldon and Sophie have now, something so powerful that it pushed against all my hate and anger, and your feelings of loss and betrayal, and brought us back together even after everything I did to you. It’s the one thing we never lost, really — and that’s what saved us both.”

I was sleepy and a little confused. I tilted my head back and found him looking down at me, and the emotion in those beautiful eyes gave me the answer to my question before I even got the chance to ask.

“It was love, Sophie,” Shel said, just before he kissed me. “Just the power of love.”

 

“The power of love is a curious thing;
Make one man weep, make another man sing;
Change a hawk to a little white dove.
More than a feeling, that's the power of love.”

“Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream;
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream.
Make a bad one good, mm, make a wrong one right.
Power of love that keep you home at night.”

“You don't need money, don't take fame.
Don't need no credit card to ride this train.
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes.
But it might just save your life.
That's the power of love.
That's the power of love.”
-- The Power of Love, Huey Lewis and the News

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© 2010. Posted by the author.