The Girl in My Dreams

By Andy Hollis

I woke, sweating up a storm. The stench of smoke and flames from my dream still lingered in my nose. With a groan, I rubbed my mouth with the back of my hand and rolled out of bed to hurry to the bathroom. The light turned on, and I squinted through sleep-encrusted eyes to see my mother standing in my bedroom door.

"Are you okay, Will?"

"Bad dream," I mumbled and tried to get around her. "I'll be right back."

I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom in time with my Dad's snores. Once there, I bent over the sink, resting my arms on the countertop and spat a few times in the bathroom sink. Then, I washed my mouth out and dried off my face and hair before walking back down the hall toward the light in my room.

Mom was still there. "You want to talk about it?"

"No," I said with a shrug and sat down on my bed. "Not really...." I saw the expression on her face and blushed. "It was just weird, Mom, really weird."

"If you talk about it now, you might work it out enough so that it doesn't trouble your sleep again."

"Mom, I'm almost fourteen. I haven't had a real nightmare in.... Okay, maybe I'd better tell you. It wasn't bad so much as gross. Real gross."

"How gross? Slime drooling aliens about to bite your head off?"

"No, nothing like that."

She sat down on the bed and ruffled my hair as she got comfortable. "Go ahead."

"It was like really weird, Mom. I was at a dance, like that would ever happen to me in real life, but there I was and I had the most gorgeous girl with me. I knew her, in my dream, and we danced, Mom. I remember our clothes looked really old-fashioned and so was the music, but we had a great time, and at the end of the dance I kissed her."

She smiled. "That must have been really horrible. Kissing a girl."

I blushed again until my cheeks burned. "No. It wasn't that. I mean, in the dream, as soon as I stopped and backed away a little, she turned into Bobby Richards, and I kissed him again. Then I smelled a fire, a real bad one, and that woke me up. Mom, really, I've never wanted to kiss a guy, I swear it, and I like Bobby, but...I mean I like girls. I'm not gay or anything, but...."

She sighed, as her smile turned crooked. I hugged her for a second. "Will, sweetie, it's okay. You're normal," she replied as she brushed my hair, until I stopped her. I mean, she's my Mom and all, but I still wasn't that comfortable with the touchie-feelie stuff. "It's perfectly normal for a guy your age to be confused about the whole boy-girl thing, and even to be confused about your own feelings. I don't think you're gay, either, but Bobby's been your friend forever, and now you are starting to like girls. You're growing up a bit, but your dreams are telling you that you aren't ready to give up your old friends.

"Think of it like this." Mom had moved into lecture mode. "I know Bobby was never your best friend, but in your dreams he represents your childhood. The girl represents your future and you are torn between the two."

"Okay," I said. After all, it made a lot more sense than my dream. "I guess you're right." I settled back in bed, then sat up enough to turn the pillow over to avoid the sweaty pillow case.

"Do you want fresh sheets or can that wait until tomorrow?"

"No, I'm okay, thanks."

After patting down my covers, Mom kissed me on my forehead and turned off the light on her way out. I shook my head. How she could always hear me when I had a nightmare, especially over dad's snores, would be an all time mystery.

The next morning I tumbled downstairs early earlier than usual during summer vacation, but after Dad had gone to work. I helped myself to the eggs and bacon, gulped down an orange juice and waited until Mom came in to join me. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down next to me.

"Thanks for everything last night," I said. "I really felt a lot better after we talked. I'm gonna meet the guys and go swimming, okay?"

"Okay, but call if you need a ride home."

"I will," I said and grabbed a towel from the laundry basket on the way out. Dressed in a t-shirt, swim trunks and flip-flops, I hurried down the street to find Bobby Richards waiting for me, alone.

"Will," he said, happy to see me as we bumped fists. "Travis couldn't make it, and Charlie will meet us at the pool. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said and started walking.

"So why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" I asked and tried to shrug off his questions.

Bobby and I had been friends forever. He was slightly shorter and skinnier than me, had bright red hair, three million freckles, and a grin that could make anyone laugh. I tried not to stare at him, but when I saw him just then I thought he looked cute. I felt him put his arm around my shoulders, like he always did as we walked, and I had to fight the urge to take his hand.

"Will? Will? Yo, Connolly, I asked you a question."

"Huh? Sorry, Robert, my man, I was busy saving the Universe from slime drooling aliens. What?"

"Is your Mom picking us up, or do you want me to call mine?"

"Mine will," I said. "I had a dream about you last night."

"Oh, yeah?" he said, and held out his arms. "Was I flying? I love those dreams." He ran around for a while, buzzing me before he started a strafing run.

"No, you were dancing"

"Me?" Bobby held his hands to his throat, and gagged. "Dancing? With a girl? That must have been a nightmare -- for her. I can't dance. Or maybe I could, with you," he added, and held out his hands. He grabbed me, spun around and managed to not only step on my toes, but trip over his own feet -- twice.

I sighed as I picked him up. "Nice try, dufus, next time watch whose toes you're stepping on."

"But you dance so divinely," he cooed before bursting into laughter.

I had to laugh too as we headed for the pool. Stupid dream, I could never dance with this big a goofball.

But all day long I found myself staring at his legs, then trying to picture him in a one-piece suit.

****

That night, the dream turned mushy. I woke, groaning from the dream, and just as sweaty as I had been the night before. Mom didn't come into my room, at least, but I wondered if I should call her. The smell of smoke was a lot worse.

I could remember the dream, vividly. Bobby and I were at the dance, but after kissing him, and it was Bobby's face on the girl,I lead him to my car. I opened the door for him, and drove him to a parking spot. It made sense that I was driving since I looked about 18 or 19 in the rear view mirror.

It was no fair, I thought. In the dream, I had everything, good looks, a great build, a car and a gorgeous girl; even if she did look like Bobby sometimes. In real life, I was short and way too skinny, with no build at all.

In the dream, we parked, made out and swore eternal love and devotion to each other. We didn't get beyond kissing. Even though the girl had Bobby's face, I called her Shannon, and she called me Mark. She also had a girl's chest measurements and I loved the feel of her breasts in my hand. Or I did, until Bobby and I both turned into ourselves, and the dream ended as I found myself wondering why her chest was so flat, and what was burning.

I got up, washed my mouth out with water and almost walked right into my mother as I left the bathroom. She held onto me for a moment.

"Another dream?"

I nodded. "Same one, too." I told her about it, which only made her frown.

"You were driving? Do you remember how you did it?"

I shook my head. "I want to drive, man, that would be so cool, but I thought I had to be seventeen to get my Learner's Permit."

"Yes, but.... I'll check my books again. Something isn't right about this. Night sweetheart, and you haven't told Bobby anything about this, have you?"

"No. Mom, he's a goofball, you know, a real cut up. He'd never listen, everything is joke to him." I don't know why I lied, but for some reason, I really didn't want to tell her I had told Bobby my dream, especially because he had taken it as a joke.

She nodded, and gave me a peck on the top of my head before gently pushing me back toward my bedroom. "Get to bed."

I walked back to my bedroom, feeling the plush carpet under my toes. The whole upstairs was done in the same forest green, and I remembered a few years ago Bobby and I spent a lot of time scuffing our feet to build up static electric charges and then zapping each other as we saved the Universe together. I'd hate to ruin our friendship over a couple of weird dreams.

Two

The next night, the dream took a new turn. This time we were both older, and in the dream we checked into a motel. I knew that Bobby and I were married, now and it was legal, but I felt a kind of guilty twinge as we made love. Whoa, she was a gorgeous woman. Her hair was just as red as Bobby's but this time her face stayed as Shannon, until I woke up after a wet dream.

I was old enough that this wasn't my first wet dream, but this time the feeling was more intense than ever before. I changed my underwear, walked down to the bathroom and cleaned up. Mom didn't wake up, or more likely, she did, but decided I was okay and left me to deal with things myself. I let myself go back to sleep, but I felt I had to talk to her, or someone before all of this drove me crazy. I had two months before starting the ninth grade, and I wasn't going to do it while I dreamed I was in love with Bobby Richards.

That morning, I watched Mom drink her coffee, and I almost said something when the phone rang. She picked it up, listened a moment and then handed it to me. "It's Bobby."

"Hey, what's up?" I said into the phone.

"Try the sky. There's a new game at the mall, want to try it out this morning?"

"Sure," I said without a second thought.

"Great. Mom and me will be over in a few to get you."

I hung up the phone and shook my head. "I'm going to the mall with Bobby and his mother. There's a new game...."

"Are you okay with this?" she asked.

"I think so. I mean I see Bobby every day and I'm not about to spoil the summer with this, or tell everyone in town that I'm some sort of.... That I'm gay."

"Are you gay?" she asked, in a quiet tone. I saw "the look" on her face, that intense, slightly worried look she uses when she asks a simple question, but knows the answer is real important.

I took in a deep breath and answered honestly. "I don't know. I don't think so." I told her about the last dream. "I'm making love to a girl, not Bobby, but it's Bobby as if he was a girl. I don't know. I mean at the pool, and
sometimes...I look at him and see him as a girl, too. I know he's not and he'd kill me,or try to kill me, if I said that, but in the dreams I love them both, I mean, I mean, sometimes I see him as Shannon and sometimes I see him as Bobby and I love both of him...her, whatever. Sorry, this is so hard to explain."

She looked at me for a moment. "Don't be afraid to tell me, if you do decide you're gay, okay? It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I still feel that something is wrong here. If you keep having these dreams, I'd like to make an appointment for you with a dream specialist."

"That sounds expensive. I don't want you and Dad fighting over me."

"We won't. I don't think your father would be quite so understanding about all of this. He would go to any route if he thought it would cure you of being gay. I know that can't happen, but you are still too young to worry about if this is going to be permanent, or whether it's just a phase."

I nodded, and waited for the Richards to get there.

Three

The last thing I wanted to do was to give Bobby the wrong ideas, but as we sat drinking shakes in the food court, waiting for his Mom, I couldn't help notice how cute he looked, the way he grinned, and even the way he sucked down the chocolate. A couple of times he looked up at me, then blushed and looked back down.

After a while, he gave me a long look. "Well? Are you gonna kiss me or what?"

"Huh?" I said.

His grin turned crooked. "I swear ever since we got here you've been looking at me like you want to kiss me or something."

"Come on, Bobby, don't be gross. I was thinking about stuff."

"Said the fox to the rabbit," he said quickly. The way he looked at me, though, made him look anxious. "Do you want to kiss me?" he whispered.

"Not here," I blurted out. That wasn't what I wanted to say. His smile grew almost too large for his face.

"Oh, yeah? Where? Some place romantic?"

I slugged him, but not hard. "Come on, I mean.... Look, I've been having this dream about you, well, us. And...."

"This I've gotta hear," he said, putting his elbows on the table and resting his chin on the table while he stared at me like I was the only other person in the world. I almost broke up over his expression.

"Okay, see, in this dream, you're a girl and we're going out. There, I said it."

"Yeah?" he asked with a frown on his face. "Am I pretty?"

"A major babe, I mean, you are hot."

"Then how do you know it's me?" he asked again.

'Because every time I try to kiss you or do anything the girl turns into you."

Bobby's face went from puzzled to shocked in a matter of seconds. He started laughing his guts out. I thought he'd never stop. "Sorry," he managed to say. He grabbed my hand and held on. It felt so natural that I didn't protest. "Man, that has to be the most frustrating thing I've ever heard. You've got this gorgeous babe and she turns into me. What happens then?"

"I wake up, or I don't care and kiss her anyway," I said. "But it's not you I'm kissing, just this girl with your face."

His eyes sparkled. "You know I'm here for you, don't you, if you want to see what it's like in real life? I mean you are really cute, in a little kid sort of way, and until you have a major growth spurt you are not gonna be a babe magnet,but I can help...."

I stared at him for a moment. "Look, I'm not into guys, Bobby, no matter what the dream says. I mean in the dream this girl has your face but she feels like a girl, and her name is Shannon."

The blood drained from Bobby's face. His hand slid away from mine and he suddenly looked nervous. "Huh? Will, does this girl call you anything but 'Will'? I mean by another name? Like Mark?"

"Yeah, but how did you know that?" I said, shocked.

He glanced up, and held his fingers to his lips. "We need to talk about this. Please. Hi, Mom? Ready to go?" he asked her.

"Yes, I'll take you both home, but after that I have to go out, without you."

"Fine," Bobby said. "Can Will stay over with me?"

She glanced at me, and shrugged. "Sure, just as long as you call Will's Mom when we get home so she knows where you are."

Mrs. Richards loaded both of us down with bags, and took off on her errands without coming inside with us. Bobby opened the door.

"Just put the stuff over there," he said. "You want anything? We got diet everything."

"No, thanks," I said. I picked up the phone, called home and left a message on the machine. Bobby came up behind me, put his arms around my waist, and hugged. "Okay," I said when I hung up. "We need to talk, but Robert, my man, I'm not asking you for a date."

I saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes, but he let go. "I had dreams like that before. I was this girl named Shannon and I was in love with a guy named Mark. I didn't know it was you, but it makes sense. You are my best friend in the world...."

"I thought that was Jason," I said, and beeped him on the nose.

"Only when I'm mad at you. Which is all the time, and if you don't stop doing that it will be Jason again right now. I told Mom about the dreams, and she didn't think it was anything. But now I'm not so sure." He walked to his room, and I followed. While Bobby rummaged in his closet, I stretched out on the bed, and tossed a nerf ball at the ceiling. He brought over a green box, dusted it off, and stretched out next to me. Inside was a pile of loose papers with pictures sketched on them. Bobby dug through them and grabbed one from near the bottom.

"I started doing this when I was having those dreams all the time. I still have them, but not that often. Here," he said and handed over a picture. "It's Mark. What do you think?"

I stared. "This is great. I mean, that's him -- me. I see myself in mirrors from time to time. Did you do Shannon?"

He nodded and handed over the next picture. "Here, in a lot of my dreams we went to this place, the Piney Branch Motel. I know we were married, but I think we found it, you know, exciting. I mean," his face flushed. "I never thought I would ever talk about this with anyone, let alone you, Mark -- Will," he corrected himself quickly.

"What's this?" I said and picked up an old newspaper clipping.

"The motel burned down about twenty-five years ago. A lot of people died, but I actually checked and there wasn't anyone there named Mark or Shannon. It must have been awful. I remember that in my dreams, we didn't live anywhere near here, but I guess we thought it was a nice spot for vacations or something."

"It's a dream, Bobby, that's all. There isn't any use worrying about the details of a dream. I didn't even see the name of the motel, but I only had the dream once. I...."

He wrapped his arms around my neck, then looked down. "It doesn't all have to be a dream." He licked his lips, looked up at me, and half of me wanted to run for all I was worth, but the rest of me wrapped my arms around his waist, and pulled him closer.

I closed my eyes before moving down to kiss him, and I held the kiss forever. I held him tightly, as if I would never let go. Bobby opened his mouth, and licked my lips. I got the message, and found his tongue with my own. Bubblegum, he tastes like bubblegum, I thought, and slowly pulled away. He grinned, and pulled me back down on top of him.

Besides my Mom and sometimes my Dad when I was small, I had never kissed anyone. But I knew what to do. I found myself pulling Bobby's t-shirt off him so I could feel his skin. He was soft, smooth and as silky as a girl. I didn't want to let go but, if I didn't, I think I would have gone a lot further than either one of us wanted, just then. Or so I thought.

Bobby kissed me again, without holding on, then rubbed the back of my neck. "I love you, Will. I really do." He looked away. "I mean..."

"It's okay. Look, we had to get that out of our systems, right? Bobby, I love you, too, and I mean that with all my heart, but it's Shannon I want."

He rubbed his hand against my crotch. So I had a hard-on straining against my jeans. He didn't say a word as he pulled down the zipper and started beating me off. He looked up, and kissed me as I finished all over his sheets.

"Not even a little bit for me?" he asked.

"Okay, so, you turn me on, but it's her I'm thinking about. It's her...I don't care. It's you I want," I whispered in his ear. He helped me out of my clothes.

"I know what to do," he said as I pulled off the rest of his clothes. He did, and in a matter of minutes, we became lovers, almost as much as Mark and Shannon.

Bobby drifted off to sleep, with a warm smile on his lips. Man, he looked beautiful, sleeping like that. I got out of bed, dressed, and headed for the bathroom. I didn't have to go, I just wanted to think, but my thoughts seemed way too disjointed to make any sense. What had I done? God, I had made love to a boy, I mean, I had sex with him. I was a pervert, a freak, a queer, I told myself, but I knew that there was no way I would give this up. I loved Bobby and half of me wanted to tell the whole world. The rest of me didn't want to get beat up by the rest of the world, so I'd keep quiet, but...he loved me too. Those dreams had to mean something, but what?

I went back to the bedroom, and shook Bobby awake. "Hey, dufus, when is your Mom gonna get home and do you want to be naked when she does?"

He shook his head. Then, he sat up, smiled at me and stood up and melted into my arms. I couldn't resist. I kissed him and kept kissing him until I heard a car in the driveway. Finally tearing himself away from me, he threw on some clothes, kissed me one more time, and we walked out to the living room,. We had the TV on and were slouched comfortably in front of it before Mrs.Richards made her entrance.

I think Bobby and I must have been sitting a bit too close together, because she raised an eyebrow as she looked at us, but then, without comment, showed us her new hair style.

I left, as soon as I could, and ran home. "Mom? Dad?"

"I'm here," Mom called out from the kitchen. "Dad's still at work. What's the matter?"

I walked to the kitchen myself, stuck my nose in the fridge, and settled on a soda. "You know that dream guy you wanted me to see? I want to seem him, or her, or you know."

"Who are you and what have you done to our son?" she asked me and tousled my hair.

"Bobby had the same dream, Mom. He knew all about it, more than I did."

"Okay, we make the appointment."

That night, my dreams turned stupid. I didn't dream about Shannon, only Bobby, but I saw Bobby in girl's clothes. He swished around in skirts and dresses like some drag queen and I woke up trying not to laugh. I could deal with the fact that Bobby was a boy and that I was gay a lot easier than I could with the picture of Bobby trying to be a girl.

Four

The "Dream Guy" actually turned out to be a girl, a nice lady in her early thirties, I guessed. She had a regular office, just like a doctor, and a waiting room, but she didn't have that many patients waiting. I sat down, found a computer magazine, and tried to avoid my Mom's glances.

"You are okay with this?"

"Yes, Mom, for the millionth time. I want to be here. Bobby wants to know what she says, too."

"You're spending a lot of time with Bobby these days. What about Frank and Paul?"

"What about them?" I asked with a shrug. "They're out of town on vacation, remember? Bobby is here." I probably should have stopped there, but I couldn't resist teasing Mom a bit. "Oh, and by the way, as soon as we turn eighteen we're moving to some place that will let us get married. Think he would look good in a long, white gown?" I nearly choked when I realized what I'd said, but she made a face and then took it as a joke. She laughed.

"Okay, point taken. But first meet the girl of your dreams and then we can talk about gowns."

I gave her a grin. "That's why I'm here, Mom. I have met the girl of my dreams, but she keeps turning into Bobby Richards. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?"

She shook her head, and sighed. "Funny, very funny."

Not long after that, I was called into see Dr. Laura Meyers. She had a very large office, complete with a couple of overstuffed chairs, a sofa, and lots of file cabinets. There were lots of diplomas hanging on the walls, but I couldn't tell from what school, or what they were for, or even what kind of doctor she was.

"Hello, William. Is it Bill, or maybe Billy?" she asked as we shook hands.

"Will," I said with a shrug and sat down. At least, Mom hadn't followed me inside.

"And you are thirteen?"

"I'll be fourteen next week," I pointed out. She looked nice, I mean from the way she smiled. She had light brown hair, gray eyes, and a lot of laugh lines.

"So, have you ever been to a counselor before? A shrink?"

I shook my head. "No, but I am going nuts."

"So I understand. Don't worry. I think all kids are a bit crazy, but most of them grow out of it. We've never met before, and if I ask you something that you don't want to answer, it's okay, just let me knowá³or, if anything makes you feel uncomfortable. I will be taking notes as we talk, but it's not like I'm evaluating everything you say. Sometimes I have trouble remembering.

"Okay," she cleared her throat, and poured herself a glass of water. "Want some? If you do later, let me know. Where do you want to begin? Your mother tells me you are troubled with a dream. We can start there, or....?"

I shrugged. "Okay, I've been having this dream," I started talking, and as soon as I opened up I spilled my guts. "... So, the dreams are the same, sort of. I'm always Mark, Bobby is always Shannon, and I just see different things like the dance or the motel."

"And you said Bobby has had the same dreams?"

I nodded. "He drew some pictures of us, and he's dead on. I see Mark in the mirror from time to time. I wish I was that good looking, and man, Shannon is a total babe.... Sorry. I...."

"It's okay. I have a couple of teenaged boys at home. I understand something of what you are going through, and don't worry about what you say. My kids don't, and I would rather get to know you no matter how crudely and insensitively you choose to express yourself. Okay?" she flashed me the biggest grin and I had to laugh.

"Okay. From what I remember, Shannon and I love each other, a lot, man do we ever love each other, but every time we start something, she always turns into Bobby. Well, her face turns into Bobby's face, but the rest of her stays Shannon."

"And that's when you wake up?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes we keep going. I don't know. It's like I don't care if it's Shannon or Bobby I'm with."

"Do you have feelings for Bobby outside these dreams?"

"I.... I didn't before the dreams. I mean we were friends, pals, you know. I looked forward to seeing him every day at school, or hanging out with him at the pool, but he wasn't even my best friend. Now? Now it's different. I mean he saw the way I was looking at him, at the mall, and he thought I was gonna kiss him or something. I see him, and I think Shannon, and...."

"Did you kiss him? You don't have to tell me, but it would help if I knew."

"Yes," I blurted out with my cheeks burning. "Yeah, I mean we were in his bedroom, talking about this, and he hugged me, and...he let me know he wanted to as much as I wanted to.... Okay, so he got me turned on. I kissed him, lots of times, and -- we went all the way."

"Okay, thanks for trusting me that much. I doubt it was easy for you. Look, Will, I'm not here to make judgments, and this is normal for boys your age, okay? It doesn't mean you're gay, or that it is anything more than sex play, but I take it you have some strong feelings for Bobby?"

I nodded. "I mean we've, well after that first time, he invited me for a sleepover and he's slept at my house, too. I --we -- it's getting a lot better. I mean that first time was kind of awkward, you know. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, really, but now it's great. I never thought I'd fall in love with a boy."

"What about Bobby?"

I sighed. "He's into this more than I am. I mean, he primps before I come over. He's even plucked his eyebrows a bit, and I think he's curling his eyelashes. Look, Bobby's cute, but not pretty, you know? He doesn't look like a girl and I think he'd look silly in a dress, but he's starting to act like a girl. A couple of times I've heard sales people at the mall call him 'miss'. When they do he looks at me, and winks, but I think he likes it."

"Do any of your parents know about all this?"

I shook my head. "I think Bobby's Mom knows, but she doesn't say, and my Mom? You think I should tell her?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. She seemed to be cool with the idea.... But I'm not ready to tell her."

Dr. Meyers nodded. We talked about nothing much for the rest of the session. She glanced at the clock. "I would like to try something different, next time, okay? In fact, can you come back tomorrow?"

"I'll check with Mom."

"How did it go?" Mom asked me as I left the office.

I shrugged. "I feel better. She wants to see me again tomorrow for something different."

"Okay, fine with me. I'll make the appointment."

The next afternoon, Dr. Meyers asked me to stretch out on the sofa. "Okay, like I said, I wanted to try something a little different. What I would like to do is hypnotize you." She put up a hand to stop my question before I could even suck in the air to ask. "No, I'm not going to make you think you're a dog or anything, just a light trance to get in touch with your subconscious self. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," I said. Being hypnotized had always sounded cool. She started talking, and before I knew it I began to feel a bit light-headed. I must have dozed off on the sofa.

"Will? Can you hear me?"

"Sure," I said, wondering why she didn't let me sleep.

"I want to talk to you about your dreams. The ones about Shannon and Mark."

"I promised Shannon that we would always be together. I meant it, but she was drifting away from me. I couldn't let her go. That's why I kept having those dreams. I needed to remember her."

"You're saying that in your waking life you and Bobby were drifting apart and you needed a reason to stay with him?"

"Kind of. See, we've always been together. The last life we shared he was my wife Shannon, before that I was his little sister, Angela, and before that we were brother and sister and married again before that. We've always been soul mates."

"Tell me about Mark and Shannon."

"Okay, my name was Mark Liam Kennedy, no relation, and she was Shannon Colleen O'Rourke. The problem was my family was well off, and they considered her from the wrong side of town. My sister hated her from the start, but my parents did their best to welcome her into the family once we were married. It's not like my father cut us out of the will, or barred us from the family business, but they were all uneasy about her, no matter how much I told them and she showed them what sort of girl she was. She loved me, and I loved her, and that should have been enough.

"What year were you marred?"

"1971," I said. "Our son, Timothy was born two years later, and.... And we died in 1977." I felt myself start to sweat.

"It's okay, Mark. You do not need to go any further, unless you want to."

"I'm okay. There was a fire at our motel. My sister had paged me and there was no phone in the room so I went to the nearest Seven Eleven to make the call. She wanted to chat. If she hadn't called me like that I would have been there when the fire started.

"It was already blazing, with flames twenty feet into the air above the roof, when I got back to the motel. Shannon wasn't anywhere outside. I still remember it like I'm there as I speak. I fight my way back to the room. There are flames and smoke everywhere. Inside the room I can barely see. She is on the bed. Oh, my God. Someone shot her. Someone shot my beautiful Shannon. She's bleeding. The fire. God, I can't move. I...I don't remember anything after that."

"Will. Listen to me. It was long ago. You are not Mark now. Relax. You're Will again."

"I know, but the memories are so real -- so horrible."

"Tell me about Bobby," she said and I forgot everything else.

"I've known Bobby all my life. We were born, like, a week apart. I was first, and ever since Kindergarten we've been friends. I promised I would always be there to protect him and I was. He's always getting in trouble because of his jokes and I've been in so many fights for him. I'm not a big kid, look at me, or a jock, but I love him."

"I believe you. There is something that sounds wrong about that fire. It seems very coincidental that your sister would call you and get you away from the motel before it happened. Could she have sent someone to kill your wife?"

"Meghan hated Shannon with a passion, but not that much. At least I don't think that much, but how could the guy find our rooms. We didn't check in under our real names, you know, sort of a game we liked to play, but..."

"If the guy had pictures of you and waited for you at the motel?"

"Meghan did know the motel we always went to in Ocean City. That had to be our favorite vacation spot. I checked since the dreams started and it was rebuilt and is apparently even bigger than ever."

"Yes, it has, so if you signed in under a false name there would be no record of your deaths, at least not officially. Okay, I would like to talk to Bobby as well, but I can see why this is happening now. Your relationship with Bobby now. What do you feel about it?"

"It's great. It's what we both want, a lot, and it's not important what the outside looks like, you know. It's who the person is inside."

"I know. Will, I am going to count down from five and as I do you will feel more awake...."

***

I opened my eyes, surprised that I had fallen asleep. "Whoa, was that all for real? I really was this Mark Kennedy?"

Dr. Meyers shook her head. "Under hypnosis most people have what are called past life memories. This doesn't mean that reincarnation is real, or that you really were Mark, just that you have these memories and they are affecting your life in the here and now.

"If, as you say, you used fake names at the motel, then there could still be missing person reports out for Mark and Shannon. Your son, Timothy would only be twenty-nine, so he should still be alive. If you feel the need to pursue this, however, please remember that you are no relation to that family any more, and that you have no claim on them. Do not disturb them for something you cannot possibly prove."

I nodded. "Thanks, but right now it's tough enough being me. I don't want to be someone else, too. I don't know those people and, if my sister did arrange that fire, I don't want her thinking I could rat on her after all these years.

All I want to do is figure out what comes next with Bobby and me."

She gave me the warmest smile. "Well said, young man. I would like to see Bobby, if you can bring him in. If not, please, make an appointment for next week."

"I will. Thanks.

Five

"We checked into that motel under different names? Why?" Bobby demanded. We were sitting cross-legged in his bedroom, a game board set up between us as an alibi in case someone walked in on us.

"We were playing some kind of sex game. I thought you'd get a kick out of that. Let me see that clipping about the fire."

Bobby opened the green box, and handed over the paper. I read through it, then stopped.

"Listen to this. '... During the fire, one man, identified as Carl Jones from the registration, fought his way back into the fire to save his wife. Both were found dead, and almost burned beyond recognition....'"

"See? Carl Jones. That was me. I remember fighting my way back to get you, but you were already dead. Shot. There was nothing I could do."

"You didn't have to die with me," Bobby said, quietly, but his eyes belied his words and his hand reached out to squeeze into mine.

"I don't think that was the plan. I was going to carry you outside and we both would be safe. I think I was so shocked that you had been killed that I lost track of everything else and the fire got me, too." I looked at him, and frowned.

"No wonder I was always fighting every bully in school over you. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt you ever again."

"Yeah, and now everyone knows you're a scrapper. Will? Yeah, he may be small but stay away from him. He's a fighter."

"Now what?" I asked him. "We know what those dreams mean, but what about us?"

"That's easy," Bobby said. "Come on."

I followed him out of his room, and downstairs to the living room. He logged onto the computer and clicked online.

"We do a search. Let's see what else we can find?"

For the next couple hours we did just that. We found tons of reports and an 800 number to call, but there, in black and white and html, I saw pictures and stories about Mark and Shannon Kennedy. Nothing had been updated for years,
but the sites were still maintained, and someone was still looking for them.

"You think we should call?" Bobby asked me.

"I guess. I mean we just trying to get information. I'll do it." I called the number, left my name and email address, asked for more information and let it go. "So, that's done. We know that they really did live, and die -- man, this is so weird -- but are you okay with all of this? I mean about us and everything."

"Will, I love you," he said.

"Robert?" We both spun around at the sound of Mrs. Richards' voice. "That may not be the most appropriate thing to say to your friend."

"I love him back just as much," I said, quietly.

"Mom, this is Mark, you know, the guy from my dreams. It was all real."

"I thought you said that was Jason?" she said.

Bobby looked at me, and nodded. "Okay, I made a mistake. I didn't know it was Will, until he started having the same dreams about me being Shannon. See? Look at all of this stuff we found. We were married. We had a son, and Will's doctor wants to see me, too. I'd like to go."

"Slow down, Bobby. There's a lot here to take in. Run that by me again."

I took the lead, and filled her in on almost everything. "So you see, from what I remember about this, Bobby and I have been together in almost all of our lives."

It took a lot more discussion, but finally Mrs. Richards said, "That is incredible, but when is your next appointment with this 'specialist?' I will go with you and Bobby."

****

"What do you think?" Bobby stood on my doorstep with his hair done up in bangs, and the rest of it pulled back in the beginnings of a ponytail. "My hair grows fast enough. And I could use a fall to give it more length."

I stood aside and let him in. "Mom's not here, now, but...oh heck!" I took him out to the kitchen, grabbed a soda from the fridge and opened it for him. "Here, drink this." I shoved the soda into his hand and sat him down at the kitchen table. "Bobby, you aren't a girl. I'm not asking you to be a girl, either. You are cute." He grinned at that. "Okay, and maybe with a bit of makeup and longer hair you would look good as a girl, sort of, but is this what you want?"

Someone knocked on the door. "Great, hold that thought," I said as I went to answer it.

A man stood there, staring down at me. "Oh, I -- I think I'm trying to find your father. Is he home?"

"No, he's at work," I said with a shrug. "You want to leave a message?"

"Your father is William Connolly?" he asked.

"No, I'm Will. My Dad's name is George. What's this about?"

"You? Someone by the name of William Connolly was looking for information about my father."

"You're Tim?" Bobby cut in. "Sorry, Tim Kennedy?"

He nodded, "But how did you know and, I have to ask, do you know anything about my parents? They've been missing for twenty-five years, and I've been following every lead I could get."

"Come in," Bobby said, breaking the silence. "Hi, I'm Bobby Richards. This is Will Connolly and it's really a long story, Mr. Kennedy. If he won't tell you, I will." Bobby poked me in the ribs to make certain I understood.

"Thanks," I said and took up the conversation again. "Look, Mr. Kennedy, I wasn't trying to bother you. I was looking for information, too. I know this is gonna sound stupid.... Look, your father died in a motel fire here, twenty-five years ago, trying to save your mother, but she was already dead."

"Okay," he said sitting down. "I kind of figured something like that happened, but how do you know?"

"That's the weird part of it," Bobby said. "Would you like some coffee, or something? Will's Mom has a pot in the kitchen."

"No, thanks. I would like to hear the story, no matter how weird it is."

I nodded. "See, your Mom and Dad liked to play games, you know, things to make their sex life more interesting. They signed into the motel as Mr. and Mrs. Carl Jones, which is why there was never any record of your parents' death."

"So how did you find out about it?"

"Good question," I said walking around the room. "There isn't a good way to explain this.... Help me out here, Bobby."

"Me? Tell him, Will. He's got a right to know."

I looked at the man, and shook my head. "I was him," I said. "I mean, in my last life I was Mark Liam Kennedy and Bobby was Shannon O'Rourke Kennedy. We stayed together in this life, sort of, and we both had these dreams, over-and-over about Mark and Shannon. I went to a specialist and she hypnotized me and I remembered.

"Look," I added quickly. "I know it doesn't mean anything. I'm a kid, I'm not your Dad, but I've got the memories if that helps. That's why we've been searching out information about them, too. We wanted to know more."

Tim looked at both of us. Bobby nodded. "I had the dreams first. I knew I was Shannon, but not who Mark was. He dreamed about being Mark. I know it sounds crazy, but that's it. If you believe in reincarnation this is who we are now. If not, please, we're sorry. We never thought you would get involved when Will called that number the other day. That's all."

"It's okay," he said after a while. "I've had past life memories, too."

"Oh yeah?" I asked him.

"Doesn't matter. Look, kids, thanks for sharing this with me. I guess I was still hoping to find them alive." He laughed for a second. "Actually, I guess I did find them alive, but not the way I expected. Do you know what happened that night?"

"I do," I said. "We think whoever killed your mother started the fire. She was shot and by the time I got back to the motel the fire was blazing, especially in her room. Your aunt Meghan paged me and I had to drive to the nearest payphone to call her back. You know, she knew we were at that motel. I'm sure she figured out what happened. My doctor, the 'specialist,' thought she knew about the murder, if she didn't set it up herself. We think that's why she called me when she did -- to get me out of there. If that's the case, I guess she never figured I'd go back in after your mother...but she didn't realize how much I loved her. I couldn't do anything else.

"I told the doctor that was crazy. Meghan hated Shannon with a passion, but not enough to kill her, but I guess that's one mystery that will never be solved, unless Meghan comes clean. Is she still alive?"

"Very much so. My grandparents raised me. Grandma is still alive, but Grampa died last year. Aunt Meghan used to talk a lot about you, Mark, but not a word about my mother."

"Should have known," Bobby said. "I was a nice person, and I would have been a great mom, I know that. I dreamed about you, but you were a toddler when this happened. I only wish we could have let you know why we didn't come home."

"You did, now, and after all these years I'm glad to get closure. I believe your story. I know no one else will, but thanks...."

The front door opened, and Mom walked inside and started as she turned and saw the strange man in her kitchen. You could see her swallow her surprise and put a smile on her face as she said, "Hi, I'm...."

"Mom," I interrupted. "Uh, this is Mr. Kennedy.... He...."

"Mrs. Connolly, glad to meet you. It would seem your son used to be my father and we just getting reacquainted." Suddenly realizing how bizarre that sounded, he blushed and hurriedly continued. "I was just leaving," he said and
stood up.

We saw him to the door. "Thanks for coming, Tim," Bobby said.

"Yeah, uh, thanks," I added.

"What was that all about?" Mom demanded, turning on us as soon as the door closed.

I told her the whole story as Bobby fixed her a cup of coffee.

"So, when I called for more information, Tim must have gone through hoops trying to track me down from the email address, but he did and he came here trying to get word about his father. We told him what we knew and that was it."

"Okay, but look, both of you. I know you are almost fourteen, but I really don't want you letting strange people into the house, no matter what. Okay?"

I nodded. Busted, and she was probably right. We had no idea what Tim would be like as a grownup. Bobby seemed to be a sorry as I was.

"This time it worked out, there had better not be a next time."

I took Bobby upstairs, pushed him into my room, and closed the door. "Okay Shannon, my dear, you didn't answer my question."

"Which question was that Mark, dearest?" Shannon asked coyly.

"I'm not really Mark and you're not really Shannon. I'm talking to you, Bobby, my best friend, and I want to know if you want to be a girl?"

"I couldn't answer you in front of the baby, Mark, sweetheart," Shannon smiled guilelessly. "I think I really do need to see that 'specialist' lady about this, but you can trust me, I'm not trying to be a girl for you. Well, if you like it, great, but....

Bobby started pacing the room. "You don't know what this has been like for me. For as long as I can remember, I thought I should have been a girl. I didn't know why. My mom listened to me, and didn't laugh, but she didn't do anything about it, either. I guess if my Dad was still around I would have been told to shut up, but he's gone off to California or someplace like that to find himself and I have never heard one word from him.

"At least you have a Dad," Bobby sighed, after a second.

"Yeah, I do, and he's the greatest, and the noisiest, and the most pig-headed dad you ever want to meet. Think he would understand if I told him about us?" I asked him.

"No, but then who says you have to? I don't know. The worst part of this is the fact that I like being a boy. I mean, I like hanging out at the mall with the guys, playing blood and gore shoot 'em ups at the arcade -- everything. The other half of me loves to feel feminine. I thought it was great to see you riding up on your white stallion to rescue me from the bulliesá³and my big fat mouth. You know how great I felt when you did that? You were my friend and my hero.

"Okay, so maybe I wanted you to rescue me the way you did and I swear it never dawned on me, dumb blond here, that you didn't want to fight for my sake. I'm sorry, but I never thought for a second I could even tease you about having feelings for you that weren't one hundred percent male. I even made it a point to make you think you weren't my best friend."

I nodded. "I wondered, but yeah, I would have freaked if you said anything before I had those dreams. Man, I cared for you, and I wouldn't even think about it myself. But my question?"

"I'm trying to figure it out myself."

"Okay, fair enough," I said. "But for now, just so you know, if you start wearing skirts and acting like some drag queen I don't know you."

Six

A week later, I collected Bobby to go to the Dream doctor, and for the first time I noticed a hint of powder on his face. "Does your Mom know about this?"

"She bought me the powder, why?" he said and grabbed my hand.

My mother didn't say anything as we walked back to her car. Bobby climbed into the back seat, and I took the front seat. I know she saw the way he held my hand, but...I'd tell her in time,

Dr. Meyers seemed delighted to see the both of us. She made certain his mother had signed the appropriate approvals and took us into her office. Then, she asked Bobby a few questions before explaining that she wanted to hypnotize him as well. He agreed, eagerly I thought, and he stretched out on the couch. This time I got to watch, but the one thing I noticed when Bobby closed his eyes was how pretty he looked. I didn't know if I was just seeing things, or if he was actually looking more like a girl.

"Bobby, tell me about the dreams you've been having."

"Sure," he said. He didn't sound weird or anything, just like he was talking normally. "I found Mark again, and he was right under my nose the whole time. I'm finding I love him just as much now as when we were married."

"Okay, what about your marriage?" she asked.

"It wasn't the first marriage for us. We've been together for a long time, but this time was fantastic. Mark was so dreamy, and he loved me so deeply. We had a great marriage and I can't believe my father hated me enough to end it."

"Your father?"

Bobby nodded. "That bastard was sent to jail when I was a teenager for what he did to me. He deserved it, too, but he got out and wanted to get back at me. He set things up with Mark's sister, that bitch, and she told him where we
were staying. We were at our favorite sleazy hotel in Ocean City and my father must have been waiting for us. As soon as Mark left to answer Meghan's page he almost broke down the door.

Something seemed to change and her next words seemed to be addressed to someone else. "What are you doing here?" Bobby started shaking on the couch. "Get out of here. Mark will be right back. That bitch. You won't get away with this, Dad. No! Please. Don't shoot me! Help! Help me someone!"

Bobby fell limp on the couch. "Oh God, help me. He's setting a fire. Mark, get out of here. Jesus, Joseph and Mary. Can't you hear me Mark? Get out of here. You can't die too. Someone has to live for Timmy. Please Mark..."

It was all I could do not to go over to the couch to hold him. Dr. Meyers glanced at me and shook her head. Tears rolled down Bobby's cheeks.

"Bobby, listen to me. That happened a long time ago. You can come back now."

"Oh, I couldn't stop him from dying, too. Mark -- Will. Thank God he's okay now and just as sweet as he always was."

"You really seem to love Will," Dr. Meyers noted.

"Yes, I do. He's always been wonderful as a boy, not so much when he lives as a girl, but as a boy he's the best. And he sees it too. He doesn't care that I'm a boy in this life. I don't want to be a boy. I don't think I ever did, but I didn't get the choice. I want to be a girl again for Will, but he's not that comfortable with it. It's just plumbing that needs to be fixed, not my soul."

"Bobby, if you did have the choice, would you dress as a girl?"

"In a heartbeat," he said. "I've done so before, and I've pulled it off, but Will is such a sweetheart, he'd be the one to give it away since he would be embarrassed about it. He thinks I'm doing this just for him. I'm not."

"What about your parents?" Dr. Meyers asked.

"Dad left when I was a baby. I haven't seen him since and Mom wants me to be happy as either a boy or a girl. She knew about Shannon and Mark long before Will did. At first, I thought my friend Jason was the one and he and I had a fling, but it wasn't the same."

"If you could say anything at all to Will, what would it be?"

"Will, I love you more than anything and you are a real quick learner. Don't worry about me, just let me find my own place, and even if we don't get married this time around I will always love you."

Dr. Meyers looked at me and nodded. I cleared my throat. "Bobby, I love you too, and it's okay for you to do your thing. But please, please, please tell me before you go out with me dressed as a girl."

"But that would spoil the surprise," he answered with an evil grin. I could have slugged him.

"Bobby, I am going to count down from five and I want you to wake up...."

***

Bobby stretched, his eyes fluttered and even awake he still looked damn good. "Whoa. My father did it." He looked at me, and sighed. "No skirts."

"Hot pants," I said. "You've got great legs and you'd look really good in hot pants."

"You really think so?" he asked me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah, I think so. Really. You'll be great no matter which way you go."

"Okay, now I think the two of you can be happy with this, or did you want to explore other lives? I can help."

"No," I said quickly. "We have to tell Tim not to blab this to anyone. I don't want Shannon's dad to think she could rat him out, you know? I don't think anything Bobby told the police or the judge would count if it came to that, but that guy sounds crazy."

"Tim?" Dr. Meyers asked. "Who is Tim?"

"We started doing some research after the last time I came and we found a web site about Mark and Shannon. I called for more information, and a couple of days later Tim, the guy that was our son, turned up at my door. After he made me," I said and pointed at Bobby, "I told Tim what we knew and why, and he left."

"That may not have been the smartest thing to do, but since it's done, by all means call him back."

Seven

The next day, as I expected, Bobby turned up at my house wearing bright blue hot pants. I mean those pants showed every inch of his legs and more. I found myself straining against my underwear when I saw him. Bobby noticed the reaction and just gave me a crooked grin.

"Is there something the two of you want to tell me?" Mom asked from behind me.

"Uh, yeah -- yes there is," I stuttered, but I was proud of myself for not blushing.

Bobby walked over to me and took my hand. "It was me, Mrs. Connolly. We have loved each other in life after life and this one looks to be the same. I taught him how to do it, that's all, and he's really learning fast."

Mom stared at us, then at Bobby. "Why Bobby Richards, you little hussy."

He broke into a huge grin. "Thanks."

"And if you intend to date my son, you really should do something with your hair, and those pants, just don't make it on you."

"But Will thinks I have great legs, don't you, darling? He wanted me in hot pants not skirts."

I nodded.

"But the color just isn't right for you. This is going to take a lot of work. Come on, sweetie, I have the day off. I'll give you the crash course."

"Mom?" I asked. "Uh, Mom? I thought we were...."

"This is girl stuff, kid. Go play video games or something. Bobbi", she made his name sound feminine somehow. "and I are going to the mall."

The expression on Bobby's face was priceless. "Yeah, girl stuff. Go on, you big lug, I need to get be-you-tea-full for my boyfriend, and I'm not sure if it's you, yet."

"Mom, do you have to get him started like that?" I asked, but it sounded more like a whine. "I'm going to the arcade. You girls have fun."

"We will, sweetheart. Why don't you catch a movie while you're out, too," Mom called after me.

For the next couple of hours, I hung out and played some games, but my heart wasn't in it and I was wasting money. There was nothing playing at the movie theater that I really wanted to see and, looking for something to occupy my time, I idly wondered if Books-A-Million would have something on reincarnation.

Turns out they had a ton of stuff and, since I didn't know where to start, I grabbed as much as I could off the shelf and took the books over to the coffee shop to figure out which one I wanted.

I finally settled on a couple of books, I paid for them and headed for home. It was later than I thought when I opened the front door and called out that I was home. Mom called back from the kitchen and I headed back there, but I never made it past the kitchen door. Instead, I came to a dead stop as I stared at the girl in the kitchen with Mom.

"Put your eyes back in your head, young man," Mom said to me. "What do you think?"

"Bobby?" I asked, stunned. He was gorgeous from head to toe. He, no she wore a dark blue skirt with a white top and she must have had something on underneath the top to give her a figure.

"What do you think?" Mom gently asked again.

"I love it. Okay, so I was wrong about the skirts. You look super, I mean, you really are a major babe. Can I pick them or what?" I wouldn't have believed it was possible, but somehow Bobbi's grin got even bigger.

"Will," Mom said.

"It's okay, Mrs. C.," Bobbi interrupted still beaming. "He can think he picked me if he wants to."

"Whoa, this is something else, Bobby. I never dreamed you'd look like this. I am going to hate seeing you go back to being a boy after this."

"Who says anything about going back?" he asked. "This is what I want."

"What about school?" I asked him. "We start high school in less than two months."

"You just figured that out? I'm talking to Mom about being registered as a girl. The schools are getting good about things like this. We'll see."

Over the next couple of weeks, I did get used to Bobbi as a girl. At least she was no longer the goofball, that he had been and our relationship was getting better and better.

***

Three weeks after Bobbi's crash course, I was home by myself when the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Will, it's Tim Kennedy."

"Oh, uh, hi," I said. My interest in the whole mess had been fading since I sent him the email about Bobbi's memories.

"I checked your story out and everything you told me was correct. I had the police exhume the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Jones and the DNA testing showed that they were my parents. I am having a proper burial for them here, at home. I also confronted my aunt about her phone call and she broke down and admitted everything. She knew that my grandfather intended to kill my mother and she helped him do it. She thought that, by getting you away from the motel with her phone call, she would be saving your life. She never dreamed you would risk going back into the fire. She's been holding this in for the last twenty-five years
and she is glad to get it off her chest. Also, my grandfather died in prison two years after he killed my mother. I'm not sure about the whole story, but he is not a threat to you any more."

"That's a relief," I said.

"Yes, it is, but Will, I was wondering if it would be all right with your parents if I visited you and Bobby from time to time?"

"What for?" I asked. "If you want to hang out with us, I guess that's okay, but do you play video games?"

"I did, but, I kind of thought that maybe, if I did, I could get to know my parents. I know all of this does give me some closure, but you are or were my father and I barely remember you except from pictures."

"Me? I'm just a kid. Look, Mr. Kennedy, please, you won't get any answers from me. I'm not your dad and I can't be. I'm going to be a freshman in high school. It's tough enough being a kid and I'm not gonna try to be your dad, too. We told you everything we know about Mark and Shannon, and we would have to be under hypnosis to get more.

"Look Mr. Kennedy, there is a big part of me that is so sorry about all of this. Really. You grew up not knowing your dad and always wondering. At least, now you know what happened, and that your parents loved you a lot. I know, I wasn't supposed to be the hero type and try to save your mother, but I didn't have a choice.

"I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to come down that's fine with me. There are lots of cool places in town we could go to now, cause it's summer and summer always rocks in Ocean City. But you gotta drive cause I can't and you gotta pay cause I don't get much of an allowance...."

He laughed. "I keep forgetting you are a little kid."

"Not little, I'm fourteen."

"And these cool places have lots of noise and lights and kids screaming?"

"Yeah, they do. No booze, you know, but you could be like my really big brother cause you're so old now and I can teach you how to be cool again."

"What if we just went to a nice restaurant where we could talk?" he asked.

"You mean like Denny's? But that's so dull," I said.

"No, I meant really nice, where they wouldn't allow cut offs and t-shirts."

I sighed, "Then I am like so not there. You gotta lighten up, live a little."

There was a long pause. "Okay, you were right. I'm not ready to hang out with the teen crowd again and I do need to accept that is who you are now. Will, William, you have a great life, enjoy being a kid, and tell Bobby I said hello. I'll keep in touch."

"Sure, Mr. Kennedy. It's cool. I'll tell him." I hung up the phone and shook my head. Somewhere inside me Mark Kennedy was yelling his head off, but what the heck, he's an old dead guy who has nothing to do with me now. I picked up the phone and called Bobbi.

Eight

A couple of weeks later, I had dinner with Bobbi at her place and I couldn't help myself as I sighed happily as I watched her across the table. I swore she was still getting prettier every day, and she swore up and down that she wasn't taking anything, either. Hormones at eighteen maybe, but she was just, or so she said, naturally beautiful now. Not possible, I thought, considering the rather goofy looking boy she had been a month before. Then again, she may have been goofy trying to pass as a boy, I wasn't sure.

Bobbi left the table, walked over to the TV in the living room and turned on the news. I didn't pay attentioná³after all, what was another war or two when we'd had had so many lately. I helped Mrs. Richards take the dishes out to the sink, but stopped as I heard the announcer.

"Coming up, we have the story of two local boys that solved a twenty-five year old murder mystery. We will be right back."

"Did you hear that?" I asked Bobbi.

"What?" she asked back. "I wasn't listening."

"They're talking about us," I said. "I think Tim spilled his guts to the press."

"Oh, shi -- shoot," she said, just barely saving herself from becoming less than ladylike.

"Pay attention, sweetheart, I don't like this one bit."

When the news show came back, after the usual three million or so commercials, the lead story really was ours.

"How real are past life memories? They say that everyone has them under hypnosis, but could those memories be accurate. Mr. Timothy Kennedy of Westchester County, New York, thinks so.

"Twenty-five years ago, when Mr. Kennedy was just a toddler, his parents went on vacation to Ocean City and never returned. They vanished without a trace, that is until last month. Mr. Kennedy created a website, a number of years ago, trying to get information from anyone on what might have happened to his parents. He even set up an eight hundred number, but no one ever called it. But then, last month his first call came through, from a little boy in Ocean City who wanted more information.

"Mr. Kennedy found the youngster only to find out that this child had been having bad dreams and remembered, under hypnosis that he had been Mark Kennedy, Timothy's father. He told Mr. Kennedy what he did remember, and that his best friend in this life, another little boy, remembered being Timothy's mother.

"The story came out, that the Kennedy's had checked into a motel, under assumed names..."

I stood up and tried to turn off the TV. "Do we really need to hear this? They aren't giving out our names."

"Hush," Bobbi said. "I want to hear it, so sit down, like a good boy, and listen."

"You weren't my mother," I complained.

"One of these days, I am going to create a 'mute' button for you. Hush."

"... DNA testing of the remains proved that they were Timothy's parents, and his aunt, confronted with this after twenty-five years, finally confessed her involvement with the murder. The killer, who turned out to be Shannon's father, died in prison, twenty-three years ago.

"The aunt, Ms. Meghan Kennedy, has stated that she would like to meet the boys, and that she has a surprise for them..."

"That bitch," Bobbi snapped. "Not in this or any other lifetime."

"The names of the boys are being held due to their age, but if they are listening and if they want to meet Ms. Kennedy they are instructed to contact Timothy Kennedy...."

"What do you think that surprise is?" I asked. "A time bomb or a couple of live rattle snakes."

"The snakes, definitely the snakes. That suits her."

"May I?" I asked and pointed to the phone. "It's toll free."

"Go for it," Bobbi agreed. "And I want words with our son when you're finished."

I called Tim's number. After the message, I said, "Son, this is your dear, young, dad. What's the big idea of blabbing this to the press? No, we don't want to see Meghan in this or any other lifetime. Oh, and your mother wants a word with you." I handed off to Bobbi.

"Timothy, darling, try to be a good boy and respect your parents' memories and don't tell anyone else about this. We don't want any surprises from the lady that killed us -- unless it's cash, lots and lots of cash, straight from a bank. From now on we'll need to get the Bomb Squad to open the present for us."

"What if it's snakes?" I cut in.

"Oh, right. And Timothy dear, you open the package with them if she gives us poisonous snakes.

"Dear, your father and I hope that you have a wonderful life, even better than the movie and that you leave us out of it. We do not want any more publicity. Thanks and good night to you and all the ships at sea." She giggled as she hung up the phone.

"I hated doing that," Bobbi said as she eased back down on the sofa. "I thought you said you had scared him away?"

"I thought so too. We don't need him hanging out down here, getting in the way."

Bobbi sighed. "I wanted to forget that part; so many regrets, so many might-have-beens. You feel that?"

"What?" I asked. "It doesn't bother me that much, now. I can leave Mark and Shannon behind and just worry about Will and Bobbi. I'm glad I had those dreams and I think you should be too. It looks like you took the chance and
found your true self and I know I took a chance and found my one true love, at least for today."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Bobbi asked.

"Simple. I've got dates every night for the rest of the summer and one of them might be my next true love," I said, with a straight face.

"As if," she sneered. "You, have dates?"

"Sure, I think it was in the horoscope. 'Today is a good day to date someone short and cute'. My phone's been ringing off the hook."

Bobbi stared at me for a second, then threw a pillow at me. "You wish. Short and cute, okay, that's true, but..."

"Don't worry, I turned them all down. After all, you're short and cute too, and it was my horoscope."

The phone rang. A moment later, Mrs. Richards called from the kitchen, "Will, it's your mother."

"I'll get it, thanks," I said and grabbed the phone again. "Mom?"

"Sorry to interrupt, but I just had a call from that man, Tim Kennedy? He wants you to call him back."

"Oh, great. Some people just don't get it. Hang on." I put the phone down and explained to Bobbi. "Tim called my Mom. Since it was your idea to blab the whole thing to him you deal with him."

"Me? You told him. Okay, we'll both call him."

"Mom, Bobbi and I will be right home."

We hurried over to my place, rushed in through the kitchen door and found Mom and Dad in the living room. "Hi, we're here. Where's the number?"

"Well, hello," Dad said to Bobbi. "I'm Will's Dad. I don't think we've met," he said, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Dad, this is Bobbi, my girlfriend. Bobbi, my Dad." I glared at her and she kept her mouth shut. "Mom, if we don't get through to this guy, would you talk to him for us?"

"What's his problem?"

"He wants me to be his dad. I told him I couldn't, but he's not listening. Did you hear the news?"

"It was on the news?" she asked.

"Not our names, but enough." I picked up the phone and dialed. As soon as Tim answered, I said, "Mr. Kennedy, what's with you? Bobbi and I want to get on with our lives and we don't want to keep hearing about this, even on the news."

"Will, I'm sorry. It's an amazing story and it's getting a lot of airtime. I thought you'd be pleased."

"Well, it's weird, and thanks for keeping us out of it, but enough's enough. I can see every crackpot in the world calling us about the past life stuff. And we meant it about Meghan, too."

"I heard your message and that's why I called. She does want to make amends, really. She's broken up about this. She takes full responsibility for Mark and Shannon's deaths. I know the statute of limitations is out on this so she can't be prosecuted, but she wants to give you money. She says it's all she can offer to help make up for the terrible things that happened."

"Sure, yeah, like that's gonna make everything okay. How much," I asked letting greed get the better of me.

"Twenty-five million dollars, each."

"That will do it. Uh, here, talk to Mom. She knows about that kind of stuff." In a daze I handed the phone over to Mom. "Meghan wants to give us twenty-five million -- each."

"I'll take it," Bobbi said. "When I said lots and lots of cash, at least she listened, but can you imagine the stuff we can buy with that kind of money? I don't have to worry about the plumber, you know."

I looked at her feeling blank until she looked down. "Oh, right, the plumber. And I'll get the Ferrari so you'll look good wherever we drive."

"Deal. Do we have to see her?" he said, putting a damper on the whole mess.

"She could give Tim the money and he can send it to us. I don't know."

Mom was still on the phone, working out the details. "Hey, Dad. Did you hear? I'm getting twenty-five million dollars."

He looked at me, and shook his head in disbelief, and went back to his paper.

"I need to call Mom," Bobbi said.

Mom put the phone down. "Apparently, that is what Mark was due to inherit from his father's estate. Since there was no proof of his death, except the seven-years declaration, his father ordered the money put in escrow until there was. It would have gone to charity, but Meghan, as executor wants it go to you two."

"But that's crazy," I said.

"Yes, and that's why she wants it this way. She said once she found out for sure that you knew the truth about what happened to Mark and Shannon, she waited to see if it was some sort of scam or blackmail scheme that you kids were trying to pull. When neither of you asked for money, or, in fact anything but to be left alone, she figured you had to be legit. She said the only time you even mentioned money was to tell Timothy that he had to pay at Denny's because you didn't get much of an allowance.

"You get a very generous allowance, young man," Mom chastised me, but with a smile so I'd know she was teasing. "You could afford to treat your son to a meal, but no, greedy to the end."

"He wanted to go someplace really fancy," I said.

"Without me?" Bobbi asked. "I'm shocked."

"Father -- son thing, you know. Can I get a bigger allowance now?"

"She wants all of us, her, her mother and Timothy to meet and she will give us checks at that point. You two will have trust funds with half the money until you are grown, and the rest is ours. I think we can manage to live on the interest on twelve million dollars very easily, but no Ferrari's, at least until you are old enough to drive."

"What was that?" Dad asked, putting down his paper.

"We're going to be rich," I told him.

"Not rich, but very comfortable," Mom said. "We're getting twelve million dollars and Will is getting a trust fund with another thirteen million.

Bobbi is getting the same thing."

He looked at the both of us. "Rich and pretty. I just went for the major babe, not the money," he observed smiling up at Mom. "You can pick them, kiddo. Now, may I ask why we're getting all this money and when?"

"Remember I told you about Will's dreams and what they meant? His family from his last life is giving him the money he would have inherited if he had lived. Long story. We can call Ms. Kennedy any time and set up the meeting. Oh, yes." She picked up the phone and dialed.

"Helen? Hi, I have some great news about Bobbi. Would you come over here?"

Nine

The one thing I hadn't expected out of all of this was to see Meghan looking so old. She was in her fifties, but still, the haggard lines across her face told a long story. Bobbi stood beside me and I held her hand the first time we were introduced to the person that had been my sister. Meghan sighed and nodded her head.

"Now I am convinced, seeing the two of you looking like that." Nothing else, not even a hello, but she held out a picture of Mark taken when he was fourteen.

I stared. In spite of his Beatle haircut, we could have been -- well, not twins but close. "I read that people tend to look the same from life to life," I commented, "But it's true."

Bobbi took the picture, and smiled. "Yes! If Mark looked like this when he was your age, just as short and scrawny, there is hope for you."

"That's short and cute," I said.

"As if," she answered back.

The lady that used to be my mother, Mrs. Bridgette Kennedy had the same reaction to the both of us. Bobbi hadn't changed much either, comparing her to Shannon as a young lady -- same red hair, same freckles and snub nose.

Walking through the house that Mark had grown up in, made me feel weird. I kept getting chills, especially in his old room. I was glad enough to get out of it.

The Kennedy's took us to the fanciest restaurant in town. I didn't see what was so great about the food, Denny's would have been just as good, but I kept my mouth shut. Bobbi liked it and I knew that from now on I was going to be in for trouble when I wanted to go out for something to eat.

"To the two of you," Mrs. Kennedy toasted. "Childhood sweethearts, again. Are you going to get married in this life?"

Bobbi blushed while I spluttered at the question. I looked at Bobbi, and smiled. "I love her, but that's, like, a really big decision we don't have to make for years and years."

"Yes," Bobbi said. "We're going to get married, have a big family and I think this time we will finally get things right."

I shook my head. "You're supposed to make me think I decided that."

"Oh, don't get so upset. You decided it the last time. I remember it perfectly. You put your big, strong arms around me and told me you would love me forever. Now it's my turn. Oh, Will, you are so short and cute. I'll love you forever, but if you stay short and scrawny I'll have to rethink that, of course. Next time, you can ask me even if we're both girls." She fluttered her eyelashes at me until I laughed.

"Okay, I see how that works." I looked around the restaurant, picked up a water glass and held it out to everyone. 'To Mark and Shannon."

"To Mark and Shannon," they answered.

Sometimes it pays, big time, to listen to your dreams.