An adult TG adaptation of the classic fairy tale offered for your Halloween amusement.

Hansel and Gretel
By Missy Crystal

Once upon a time, deep in the woods, there lived a poor woodcutter, Hans, and his bitch of a wife, Greta. Much to their dismay, being clueless as to certain key biological concepts of cause and effect, they had twin children, unimaginatively named for themselves, a boy, Hansel, or little Hans, and a girl, Gretel. You figure it out. Since there was no money for clothes, the children were dressed in left-over burlap sacks. They wore no underclothes and, as they got older and the sacks became relatively smaller, the rough material was increasingly irritating to their nubile development.

Hansel, in particular, developed a severe rash from the chafing of his member. Gretel, tired of hearing her brother's constant complaining, suggested covering it with a lubricating ointment. KY jelly being a few centuries away from formulation, Hansel figured that he could stick his dick in the cooking fat. Actually, the cool, slippery lard was soothing and so it was that, returning home unexpectedly one day, Greta discovered not so little anymore Hansel holding his sack up around his waist and humping the lard container. She let out a scream and chased the little pervert out of the house with a broom. Gretel, hearing the commotion, came running. Seeing her mother assaulting Hansel, she grabbed a handy piece of firewood and gave the woman a hefty blow to the head, dropping her like a felled ox. Realizing that her mother would eventually come to and beat the crap out of her, Gretel grabbed Hansel and hauled him into the house.

"Quickly," Gretel urgently directed him," let us get some food and run into the woods. Perhaps the stupid old cow will cool off in a few days and we can come back."

They ransacked the house and only could come up with half a loaf of stale bread, which Gretel, having no pockets in her sack, carried in her hand. Hearing groans from the front yard, they hurried out to see their mother staggering to her feet. The pair ran into the woods. After an hour or so, the path began to narrow and bushes with wicked thorns closed in, bringing them to a halt. Looking around for an easier route, Hansel spotted a clearing through the trees. They slowly worked their way towards it and upon arriving they rested on a grassy mound under the shade of a large oak. Catching her breath, Gretel questioned Hansel about the incident.

"You are indeed a giant cow turd to have gotten us into such trouble," Gretel told him, using one of her usual terms of endearment for her sibling, "not that I didn't enjoy clobbering Mom. Now tell me what it was all about," she demanded.

"Well," Hansel explained, "Mother caught me soothing myself."

"You mean jerking off like usual?" she asked.

"No, well, yes, ummm, sort of, I don't know," Hansel said noncommittally.

"You don't know if you were jerking off or you don't know if you were doing it like you usually do," Gretel challenged him.

"No, I wasn't jerking off, sort of. I mean, you use your hands for that. I was just doing what you told me, putting my dick into something slippery."

"I suggested you put something slippery on it, not the other way around. What exactly were you using?"

"Umm, the, umm, the jar of stuff Mom keeps next to the stove," he confessed.

"You were fucking the cooking lard?" Gretel asked incredulously.

"Umm, yeah," Hansel admitted sheepishly.

Gretel thought for a moment and then scowled.

"You didn't, you didn't actually come off in it, did you?"

Hansel shrugged.

"That's disgusting, Hansel," Gretel admonished him. "No wonder the fried mushrooms tasted so salty. How long has Mom been cooking with your cum?"

"I know what you do with the boys from the village when you sneak out at night, Gretel," Hansel replied defensively. "What's a little extra?"

Gretel stood up.

"Come on," she said, ignoring the insult, not that it wasn't true. "We should get going before Mom comes to her senses and decides to come after us."

They headed into the clearing, but no matter which way they turned, the dense trees and bushes blocked their way.

"I'm hungry," complained Hansel after a few minutes of walking around.

"You're always hungry," Gretel replied. "I suppose we could have some of the bread."

She tried to break off a piece, but it was too hard. Pausing, she heard what sounded like running water and, following the sound, she saw a small stream running along one side of the clearing. She walked over and Hansel followed her. Dipping the bread in the water, she pulled off a soggy piece and handed it to her brother, then took a piece for herself.

"Do you smell food?" Hansel asked his sister.

"Well, of course I smell food, you dumb shit, we're eating bread."

"No, not bread, Gretel. Something spicy. It seems to be coming from over there," Hansel said, pointing to the forest beyond the stream. "Let's try to go in that direction and see what we find."

"Well, I suppose following your nose is an improvement over playing with yourself," Gretel conceded. "Okay, go ahead."

Hansel began to work his way through the trees and bushes, with Gretel following behind him. After about ten minutes, she too began to smell a pleasant aroma. They continued on until they reached another clearing in which there was a small cottage. It was well kept, with brown stucco walls decorated with intricate white designs, a thatched roof and a white picket fence surrounding the yard. The curious duo opened the gate and knocked on the front door.

"Come in" a raspy voice invited them.

Being both hungry and none to bright, the pair opened the door. Looking around, they saw a large room, with a table and chairs in the center, a large cupboard to one side and a woman dressed all in black standing by the fireplace stirring a large black iron cauldron with a wooden spoon.

"Sit down and make yourself comfortable," the woman told them, pointing to the table and chairs. "The gingerbread will be ready shortly. In the meantime, you must be thirsty. Let me get you some nice refreshing milk."

Neither Hansel nor Gretel knew what gingerbread was, but it smelled delicious and the milk sounded good. They sat down at the table and waited patiently. The woman went to the cupboard and took out a small bottle. She poured some green liquid into a tin cup and then filled it with milk from a jug.

"Here you go, sweetie," she said to Hansel, handing him the cup. "Drink it all up like a good boy. I only have the one cup," she explained to Gretel, "so when he finishes, you can have a turn."

Hansel chugged down the milk. It had a funny bitter taste, but he wasn't fussy. He handed the cup back to the woman. Gretel waited for her turn, but instead the woman asked her if she wouldn't mind filling the water bowl in a large cage at the back of the room. Her cat had gone off after a mouse and will be thirsty when she gets back, she lied. Being clueless, Gretel obliged the woman, stepping into the cage to get the bowl. She heard a clang and turned to find the woman had shut her in.

"What are you doing?" Gretel protested. "Let me out this instant. Hansel, Hansel," she called, "come help me."

But Hansel just sat in the chair. Looking closely, Gretel could see that his eyes were glassy and his head was nodding.

"What have you done to my brother, you old witch," Gretel screamed at the woman, not realizing the accuracy of her insult. "If you don't let me out immediately, when I do I will kick you scrawny butt from here to the village and back again," she threatened.

"Heh, heh, heh," the woman cackled. "To answer your question, missy, your brother has been given a potion that will keep him stupefied for a few hours. As for you, calling me names will get you nowhere. I am a witch and by the time I get through with you, it's your little bubble butt that's going to be in hot water. Two tasty morsels indeed."

"Are you going to eat us?" Gretel asked.

"Eat you? Eat you? Oh for goodness sake, no. I am going to turn your brother into a fairy and sell him. As for you, I haven't decided yet.

"A fairy!" exclaimed Gretel. "I have heard of such magical creatures. Do people buy them?"

The witch shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Not that kind of fairy. They're make-believe. The kind that likes to suck boys' cocks, that's what I'm talking about."

Gretel thought for a moment, taxing her intellectual ability.

"Then I must be a fairy too," she concluded.

"No, dearie, only boys who like to suck other boys' cocks are fairies," the witch corrected Gretel.

"Then what do you call a girl who likes to do that?" Gretel inquired.

"Popular comes to mind" the witch answered. "May I take it then that you have some experience giving blow jobs?"

"Well, a girl has to keep her tummy filled somehow," Gretel said pragmatically.

"And how much did you charge for your services?"

"Oh, do boys pay for that?" Gretel asked naively.

"Hmm, a slut and stupid," the witch mused. "Perhaps you do have potential after all. With those qualities, you could either be a world class whore or a politician, although, I could not create such a despicable creature."

"Than shall I be turned into a politician, whatever that is?" queried Gretel.

"No dearie, the whore is what I had in mind," the witch replied. "I'll make a deal with you," she offered. "If you give me a hand getting your brother ready for the Halloween Ball, I will introduce you to the madam of a very exclusive bordello in the village. She will provide you with a nice room, a soft bed and lots of men to pump you full of cum. How about it?"

"Well, it would be nice not to bruise my knees on the hard ground anymore and the boys were always complaining about getting their dicks and butts bitten by mosquitoes," Gretel thought out loud. "Then too, my brother is more trouble than he is worth, at least to me. I should be glad to be rid of him, especially after he got us kicked out of the house for humping the lard jar. Okay, I will help you," Gretel agreed.

"Humping the lard jar?" the witch asked incredulously. "That is one I hadn't heard before. Don't you two have anything better to do than have sex?"

"What else is there?" Gretel questioned the witch.

"Spoken like a true harlot. Indeed, you have a great future in prostitution," the witch complimented Gretel. "Now then, we must hurry if we want to have your brother ready."

The witch released Gretel from the cage and offered her some milk to seal their contract. Gretel looked at the cup skeptically, but the witch assured her that it was not drugged, as she wanted her cooperation. Gretel then asked if she could have some of the gingerbread, as she was quite hungry.

"There isn't any, dearie, sorry. I couldn't bake gingerbread on a bet," the witch admitted. That smell is just some spices I keep in the oven to lure runaway children to my house, like you and your brother. They'll be lots of food later. So the sooner we get your brother ready, the sooner you will get to fill you tummy and satisfy your other cravings."

The witch went over to the semi-conscious boy.

"We need to wash him off before we put on his dress. Give me a hand dragging him into the yard, will you."

Gretel paused.

"Shouldn't I be the one to look pretty?"

The witch shook her head.

"A boy who can pass as a girl is very desirable and brings a premium. Your brother's fortunate disregard for cleanliness has left him with long hair and fingernails which will add to the illusion that he is a young lady, once we clean him up. On the other hand, in your new career, clothes just get in the way. Why waste time having your customers fumbling with buttons and laces when you can get right down to business? Now, let's undress your brother and get him ready."

Gretel worked the sack off Hansel's limp body while the witch drew a bucket of water from a nearby well. Using the sack as a washcloth, the witch dipped it in the bucket and began to scrub him, starting at his head and working down to his toes, leaving his rancid prick for last. To her surprise, it got hard as she wiped it. Impressed with the growing pole, the witch continued stroking."

"Does he always get a hard-on this easily?" the witch asked Gretel.

"From the way his sack sticks out in front most of the time, I would say yes. That's why I suggested he put something slippery on it, although not in the way he was going at it."

"Well," said the witch admiringly, "he is quite well endowed and it would be a shame to waste a good stiff cock when it happens to be at hand, so to speak. Hang on for a bit," the witch told Gretel, pulling up her skirt and dropping her pantaloons. "Feel free to play with yourself, if watching me get laid turns you on."

With that, the witch positioned herself over the upright shaft and slowly sank down, then began to bob up and down.

"Mmmmm, that is nice. If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't mind keeping a boy who's this easily aroused and has such a big dick for myself. Mmmm, mmmm, mmmmmmmm," the witch moaned as she picked up the pace. "He, hee, he, heeeeeeee," the witch cried out as she came to a shuddering climax."

Climbing off, the witch saw that Hansel still was erect.

"Wow, the kid won't quit. Do you want a turn, sweetie. Maybe it's young pussy that gets his rocks off?"

"He's my brother. If I cared to fuck him, I wouldn't have had to spend all night in the woods."

"Interesting," the witch mused, "a whore with ethics. Perhaps I should go for the politician after all. Nah," she decided, shaking her head. Returning her attention to Hansel, the witch observed, "we can't very well get him into his undies with that rod poking out. Now is probably as good a time as any to get him broken in. I'll be right back."

The witch went into the cottage and came out with a stool, a small jar and the tin cup. She directed Gretel to sit down on the stool. The witch hauled the still dazed Hansel to his feet and helped him wobble over to Gretel, pushing him down while guiding his cock between her legs, leaving his ass sticking up in the air. Gretel gave the witch a disapproving look at having her brother's manhood so close to her womanhood. Undaunted, the witch placed the cup underneath him, got on her knees, took a big gob of the cream from the jar, spread it on his ass and began to work her finger in and out of his rosebud. Hansel let out a soft moan. As she moved to two fingers in what was obviously, from his increasingly loud moans, a most pleasurable expansion, she reached underneath him with her other hand and began to milk his cock. It did not take too much of her expert handling before he gasped and sent an eruption of cum into the cup, nearly filling it to the brim. By the time she squeezed out the last few drops, it had deflated.

"Now we're talking," the witch said, looking approvingly at the cup. "He is quite the cum cow. I am sure that whoever gets him will be quite pleased with his capacity in all regards."

While Hansel was still sprawled out in his sister's lap, the witch came around to his face. She dipped her fingers in the cup of cum, grabbed his nose and, when he opened his mouth for air, inserted them, coating his tongue. Hansel's mouth closed and she withdrew her fingers. Hansel swallowed and the witch repeated the process until the cup was empty while Gretel looked on with amusement.

"Weren't those the fingers you had up his butt?" she observed.

"Yes," the witch acknowledged with a shrug, "but I'm sure that whoever gets him will not bother to wash his dick after giving him a reaming either. Besides, from the look on his face, I'd say he was happy."

She lifted Hansel's head and turned it so that Gretel could see the silly grin with a mixture of spittle and sperm drooling out of his mouth and dribbling down his chin. The witch wiped it up with her finger and slipped it into his mouth to clean off.

"Okay, now that we have him ready, let's bring him into the cottage and get him dressed."

The witch and Gretel each took an arm. Inside, the witch went to a trunk and began to take out a variety of women's clothing. Lacy silk pantaloons with satin ribbons and a matching camisole, a stayed corset, which she and Gretel laced tightly to nip in his waist, white silk stockings held up with garters, half a dozen filly petticoats and a beautiful rose silk gown into the bodice of which was stuffed little sacks of dried rice. White leather boots with high heels completed the outfit. The witch then attended to his hair and makeup, using a curling iron to create soft waves and skillfully applying lip and cheek rouge. He winced as she used a needle to pierce his ears, inserting gold hoops. Standing back, the witch admired her handiwork.

"I would not recognize Hansel, even though I am his sister, if I had not seen him transformed." He does make a beautiful girl." Turning to the witch, Gretel inquired, "what shall I wear?"

"The sack is good enough," the witch said. "When you get to the whore house, I'm sure the madam will find something suitable to display your charms. Now, go into the vegetable garden and find me a big orange pumpkin, then check the traps around the house and bring me two mice."

"Oh," said a surprised Gretel, "I thought you could not turn things into something else by magic."

"I told you before, all that crap is make-believe," the witch told her. "The pumpkin is for decoration at the Halloween Ball and the mice are for the cat to eat while I'm away, because she sucks at catching them on her own. I've got a buggy and a horse in the barn. Now, unless you've got any more stupid questions, let's get this show on the road."

About an hour after they left the cottage, Hansel began to come to.

"Where am I," he asked groggily, "and why am I in a dress?"

"You are on your way to the Halloween Ball and you are in a dress, because this nice witch took us in and turned you into girl," Gretel explained to her befuddled brother.

"How did she do that?" he asked dumbly.

"Magic," Gretel lied.

"Why does my ass hurt and my mouth taste funny?" he wondered.

"You've been doing girly things with boys," Gretel lied some more.

"Does doing girly things with boys always make your butt sore and leave a funny taste in your mouth?" he asked her.

"You'll get used to it," she assured him from long experience.

Storyteller's note: On their way to the Halloween Ball, the witch stopped at Madam Fortuna's House of Ill Repute and dropped off Gretel, who took to her new career with such enthusiasm that her mattress was worn out three times in the first month, much to her delight and Madam Fortuna's profit. As to Hansel, renamed Hansella, things did not work out as planned. At the ball, the witch met Lady Ashcroft, who paid generously for him, as her husband was both lacking in sexual appetite and strict in supervising her social encounters. A pretty personal attendant with a cock was the perfect solution. As for Hansella, he loved wearing girl's clothes, especially silky smooth pantaloons that did not chafe. And so Hansel and Gretel lived hornily ever after.

The End.