Rebel to Good Girl

Printer-friendly version

Ed is a nuisance in class and is frequently kept behind at the end of lessons. He is your typical teenage rebel which teachers hate, but Miss Taylor particularly despises the young boy and so has a few plans for him....

The bell rang, signalling lunch time. It was welcomed with sighs of relief from the group students as they scurried out of the classroom.
“Ed, I need to talk with you, come here.” ordered Miss Taylor.
Ed was used to this, he was a nuisance in class and was frequently kept behind at the end of lessons. He was your typical teenage rebel which teachers hated, but Miss Taylor particularly despised the young boy.

“Please take a seat Ed.” motioned Miss Taylor.
Ed complied. “So, what do you wanna talk to me about this time Miss T!?”
“You know too well, what I want to talk about Edward.”
Ed sighed.
“You're constantly disrupting my class which means not only are your grades are slipping, but your fellow students' are too!”
“....Yeah but, what ya gonna go bout it?” said Ed smugly.
“Oh I'll tell you what I'm going to do about it.” Now it was Miss Taylor who was grinning.
“Ummmm what then?”
“Oh just a little something I should have done a long, long time a go...”
Miss Taylor jumped onto Ed's lap and pushed a needle deep in his neck. Ed's struggle was short lived, as he soon found himself fully paralysed across his entire body.
“You see Edward, I have a friend who is what many may call a 'mad scientist' and well.... he gave me something that he told me would help deal with no goods like you.”
All Ed could do was watch the hate filled teacher as she drew another needle from her bag.
“I guess you're wondering what this shot is going to do to you huh? Well.... it's filled with estrogen and many more good girly things...”
Ed was beginning to sweat heavily, 'what the hell is she going to do to me?' he was thinking.
His silent panicking was disrupted by a second shot to his neck.
“Now, say goodbye to all of your memories Ed, because this is going to replace them all. No one will remember the old you, and that includes yourself. You will be known to everyone as Ellie. A good, hard-working, beautiful girl.” Miss Taylor laughed menacingly.

A searing pain began to flow through Ed's body. - He began shrinking all over. Soon he had lost an entire 6 inches in height.
Ed's body then began to develop in unthinkable ways; his chest expanded producing 2 modest B cup breasts and his hips and butt bulged outwards. He now boasted a curvy, feminine frame.
His hands became small and delicate, his fingernails an immaculate almond shape.
His face began to reshape to that of a young girl, pretty and glowing.
His hair grew down past his shoulders, a gorgeous set of blonde locks now rested upon him.
But then came the most agonizing of all the traumatic changes; Ed's penis started shrinking into his body, replacing it - a dainty clit.
His baggy jeans and football top where replaced with a Pink V-Neck and a denim mini-skirt by Miss Taylor.

Ed now had power of his body again;
“What have you done to me!?” he screamed in a shrill voice.

Miss Taylor just sat and watched as Ed collapsed to the floor.

__________________________________

“Ellie? Are you alright sweetheart?”
Ellie woke to find Miss Taylor watching over her, concerned.
“Oh yes, I'm fine thankyou Miss.”
“Good. Now off you go sweetheart, you don't want to miss cheer-leading practice!”

To be continued......?

up
85 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Okay, right up to the bit

Okay, right up to the bit about the clothes changing, you had me, and I could accept the serum or whatever it was doing the body/sex/gender change. How was it able to change the clothing, as they are not part of the body, but adornments of the body. I would have believed the teacher had the clothes available for the "new girl" to put on. Just curious I guess. Jan

Yeah I agree

Yeah I agree, I noticed the error after I had posted it.

Me too!

I'm willing to suspend my judgement in most of the stories I read here, but the clothes changing after the injection confused me too.

Painful Suspicion


Bike Resources

Yeah sorry

Yeah sorry, I wrote it when I was like half asleep so I just didn't realise it.

Oh you sillies xD

You need to broaden your imaginations meow, nanites could change the clothing EASILY, DNA, if you know what your doing, could build just about anything from existing material ;3

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, gamer girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

You didn't read it the right way.

NoraAdrienne's picture

His baggy jeans and football top where replaced with a Pink V-Neck and a denim mini-skirt by Miss Taylor.

Not a good thing

I'm not a fan of murder so this story just turned me off. Ed might have been a jerk but this isn't a story I want to read. Sorry.

Why beautiful?

If I was "miss", I'd make him an ugly, thin haired, scrawny, freckly girl with glasses.
No point in giving him more than the minimum female characteristics.
Clothes? why bother - just chuck her into main stream classes.

Poor concept - sorry - doesn't work so easy.

Too pat...

Chucking a serum into someone doesn't make him recognisable to others as someone else - that's the realm of magic. (which is also a bit suspect or convenient)

If you're going to write a real shorty, then it must hang together really well - like slamming into a power pole and the wire hitting the top of the car just as a pregnant suicidal girl arrives on the power pole after she jumps from a multi-storey apartment block. Something that hasn't been tried....

DNA

EVerything, from our shape, teeth, facial features are controlled by our DNA meow, if the Serum changed that, then yes it's possible ;3 The mind though... that's a little left field but what can you do.

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Bisexual, transsexual, gamer girl, princess, furry that writes horror stories and proud ^^

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

Sorry, but the most interesting part is missing

Quote:
Miss Taylor just sat and watched as Ed collapsed to the floor.
__________________________________

“Ellie? Are you alright sweetheart?”
Ellie woke to find Miss Taylor watching over her, concerned.
“Oh yes, I'm fine thankyou Miss.”

The story tells us nothing about the part between Ed collapsing and Ellie being fine with her new identity.
Ed's personality seems to be changed by magic. But that is the most interesting part in a TG story:
-How does Ed come to terms with being Ellie?
-How do the people around him/her react?

Yes

You can't just skip mental alterations like that, at least not without undermining the story.

Rebel to Good Girl

OK. He is now a cute, blond, cheerleader. Just how innocent is she? And is she shielded from the bad boy jocks?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Welcome to BC/TS. This was written very well,

but I think that the change happened too quickly. But the rest was just too precious. Even though I wore dresses to school no teacher ever injected me with what Miss Taylor injected Ed with? Hmmm, if only that could have happened. Thank you for sharing and Happy New Year.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

Teacher of the Year

laika's picture

I can accept magic (or science so advanced it's indistinguishable from) in a story, even if the serum had changed Ellie's clothes, it's just a story. But the thing I wonder about is .......... didn't Eddie have parents? Aren't they going to say something? Even a magical story has to cover this aspect (usually by way of some gobbletygook about a "retroactive spell" that changes reality). But as a non magical story with a sci-fi feminizing drug, it would be as simple as mentioning that Eddie's folks were in on this quasi-murder of their son, this punishment lightyears in excess of anything the child's disruptive behavior warranted. I hope not. I hope in her derangement and lust for control Miss Taylor neglected to think about this, and in the next chapter this sick evil fuck will be shot in the face by Danny's horrified mom or dad until the gun goes click, click, click...

Myself I'd love to get injected with a yummy estrogen cocktail that turned me instantly into a girl,
but not at the expense of someone being able to tell me who I am, what to think.
That's not a girl Eddie was turned into. That's a robot. It's a decent first story
here and welcome to the site, but I don't like this teacher AT ALL!
~~~huggles n' rainbows, Laika

Thanks

Thanks for all the comments and constructive criticism people, I will take it all into account for next time. I'll also makes sure I'm not half asleep next time! (:

Mars needs motivations!

Interesting short tale.

What it leaves unanswered, and that leaves you room for a follow-up you sneaky writer, is WHY? Why does she do this? Is he far worse than we thought and thus the *punishment fits the crime* or is the reason something else? Why does it act so very fast, super high tech, magic, he really was a girl under a spell to look and act a boy so this simply reversed earlier magic? Why the mind change/brain washing? Where are her parents in this? Do they approve? Did they know? Is the teacher a witch in some man-hating cult? Is this done out of love, misunderstanding, hate, revenge? Why? Why? Why?

I while back here or at FM there was a story, mind you a lot of stories have at some level similarities to others so I am not accusing you of anything bad, but the initial premise was not unlike yours. A teacher uses some magical or is it high tech brew to transform a rough but not at all bad boy into her girly girly daughter or niece and no one seems to notice this, even the child. Then the victim helps to transform others. Don't know if the multiparter ever finished but you have the opportunity now to go down a similar road.

I have said many times here and I'm sure others have said it their way, as a reader I need motivations. Why do key characters act as they do/did? Give me sufficient motivations and it makes for a far more satisfactory read. You need not answer all the *whys*. Some mystery or readers imagination is fine but at least give us some solid clues.

Best wishes.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Not bad, but...

Renee_Heart2's picture

It's not a bad story hun but insted of the mad scientist thing I would have had this start at the end of the school year & have his mom involved in the forced feminization where he is sent some place for the summer where he has become a lot more feminen as a matter of fact he would have to stay away for a whole year he comes home after the summer better behaved but mother feels that if he was a girl he would be much better behaved while he was away during the summer he was given vitemins to make him a girl & mom keeps it up untill he is a full girl & unknown to anyone Ed's mother is a witch so that makes Ed in to a real girl Ellie & yes why not turn her in to a beautyful young blonde chearleader.
Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

In Alesha's defence...

This is just a short, whimsical tale, probably conceived and typed up within a short period of time. Just take it at face value and don't try holding it up to scrutiny or literary criticism - it won't stand up to those. Compare it to a dream - everything makes perfect sense at the time, but when you wake up, the bits of the dream you remember often seem disjointed, illogical and just plain daft. Similarly, read this at face value and it's a short flight of fancy - start over-analysing it and if you discount the possibility of magic, problems quickly arise.

Taking of magic - of course there's got to be magic involved - Ed appears to be transformed into a fully functional female, and reality is rewritten to accommodate the new person. No "mad scientist" drug could have an area effect like that.

Alesha: don't be disheartened by the critics - if you feel inspired to write another short whimsical piece, go ahead! Sure, there may be improbable events and plot holes, but there's nothing to stop you returning to the story later on, and if you are sufficiently inspired, expanding it into a longer, more detailed story.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Short, sweeet, and fun.

Short, sweeet, and fun. Hey, this is fantasy. Don't take things too seriously.

This so needs a sequel... If

This so needs a sequel... If Ed doesn't come back at least Ellie has to avenge him. At least the soul should survive.

Thank you for writing this slightly disturbing story,

Beyogi

This story moved way too fast

This story moved way too fast even for a short story the main thing i had trouble understanding is how the injection (correct me if that is spelled wrong) was able to change others memories and skipping over all emotions in the character i know it's probably boring to fully write a story but the shorty you wrote moves so fast that it was not all that good the best part of a story is getting to know the character inside and out their emotions their families feelings their life how it really changes is she sad happy maybe our character finds out she's happier as a girl it really isn't as simple as you thought when you wrote this is it? if you have any questions about how you could write a story or improve this one feel free to email me at [email protected] i'm always happy to help a fellow writer improve (;