Catwalk Confidence - Part 45

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Catwalk Confidence

By Connie Alexander

Part 45


Caution: The following episode contains violence of a non-sexual nature.


Blackness and a foul stench are the first things I notice, along with the difficulty I have in breathing. Something nasty is shoved in my mouth and I can't spit it out. I then realize that I can't move my arms, hands or legs.

I start to try to move my body and cannot help but groan as my head and face throb in pain. Breathing through my nose is difficult as it feels like my right nostril is completely blocked. I can barely breathe and I start to panic.

The more I begin to struggle, the harder it seems to breathe. Then a cloth is pressed to my face and the acrid odor makes me thrash all the more until something presses on top of my head hard, pinning me, and then blackness again.

* * *

When next I'm aware of something, it's of a wet cloth dabbing my face. My mouth is almost painfully dry, but the pain doesn't even come close to the pain ripping through my head. Something is wrapped around my head and eyes, I can't see a thing.

I'm lying down on something lumpy and slightly damp-feeling and I can tell someone is sitting next to me, their hip or leg is partially on top of my hip. The pain in my hip from them sitting on me helps me focus as the pain in my head does not.

I try to ask who's there but my mouth is too dry. The wet cloth dabs at my lips. The bad taste from the cloth is overcome by the welcoming moisture.

I hear a woman’s voice say, "Come away from there now. Looks like she awakin'."

The body next to me shifts then the weight disappears.

"Who?" I manage to croak out.

Hands mess with the cloth wrapped around my head sending fresh jabs of pain shooting through my skull and the lady's voice says, "It's yo mama. Now let's take a look at ya."

The cloth is pulled away and I find myself looking a large woman's face–a face pale with heavy jowls and small eyes and surrounded by unruly, dirty-looking grey hair.

"Wh-where's my Mom?"

"Why, yo lukin' at me girl. Least ways, I'm yo mama now. Jes' as soon as yuh an my Luther is wed."

My head is such, and her language is so poor that what she says doesn't immediately register with me. When it does, I protest, "I-I can't marry, I'm only fifteen. Where am I? Who are you? Where's my mother!?" I finally yell.

A heavy, callused hand strikes me and my head explodes with fresh pain.

"Fifteen be old eno’ ta marry, and I tell ya girl, I'm yo mama!"

I taste blood from the blow and I'm terrified of this mad woman.

Seeing something in my look that satisfies her, the old woman nods her head and stands up. As she moves away, I have my first chance to look around.

It appears that I'm in a basement. The walls are of mortared stone and the floor is dirt. It's very dark with the only illumination coming from a weak light behind a heavy metal screen in the ceiling. There's a set of heavy stairs that lead up and sitting on them is Luther, smiling and nodding his head at me.

"She's so purtty, mama. She really going to marry me?"

"She so 'nuff will, Luther boy, jes' as soon as I done wit 'er. Fes we get to do sumpin' aboot that hair and them clothes. She be purtty eno’ for ya when'st I'm a done wit her."

"We gona get married, Alex!"

I can't talk at first, I'm so horrified.

"No!"

Quick as a snake, the old woman is at my side again, her heavy hand striking my face and head. Before passing out, I see Luther sitting on the stairs crying.

When next I come to, Luther is gone but the old lady is still there.

"Back wit us I see. Yuh listen, gil, yuh make my sweet Luther cry, yuh be getten' mo' of the same. Ya hear?"

I nod in reply.

She starts to come towards me with a heavy pair of scissors. Fearing the worst, I try to move away and that's when I realize that I'm tied down. My hands are tied to something above my head and my feet are tied to a post at the foot of the old mattress that I'm laying on.

Seeing my reaction, the old woman laughs. "No need ta worry yo sef yet. I jes' need ta get yuh shucked a them clothes. Yuh fight me an I'll have ta beat ya again so jes' lay still."

At that, she proceeds to cut my jeans and pull them away, and then moves up to do the same to my top. Soon I'm laying there in just my bra and panties, my shoes and socks having already been removed.

Crying I ask, "Why?"

Misunderstanding me she replies, "'Cus they be lookin for these. Same way we need ta change that hair a yours."

With that, she grabs a handful of my hair and cuts it off.

Screaming and crying, I thrash about, trying desperately to escape. The old woman starts to hit me but I continue.

Angrily she stands and goes over to the stairs. I'm still screaming and trying to get free. She's carrying what looks like a nightstick, until I hear a crackling, snapping sound and see blue lightning running up and down its length. It's like some sort of stun gun on steroids.

When she presses it into my belly, the world explodes.

* * *

When next I wake up I'm alone. It's quiet except for the drip, drip, drip coming from an old sink on the other side of the room.

Sitting up on the mattress I'm no longer tied down. My hands are free with ugly red welts around my wrists. Attached to my left ankle is what looks like large handcuffs–One end securing my foot, the other attached to a cable that is wrapped around the post at the foot of the mattress.

Sitting, I realize that the coolness I feel on my head is because my hair has been cut short. A lock of my former hair is still on the mattress. Picking it up, I begin to weep.

Still feeling desperately thirsty, I shakily get to my feet. I've been dressed in a dingy grey smock that looks to me like nothing more than a sack that has had holes cut for my head and arms. My bra has been removed, but thankfully I still have my panties on.

With my head swimming and feeling like I'm going to pass out at any moment, I make my way over to the sink. Turning the left handle doesn't do anything. Turning the right handle produces a small stream of dirty rusty looking water. Letting it run for a minute seems to clear it a bit. I cup my hands and thirstily drink. The taste is terrible but I need the moisture. Eventually my throat and mouth feel reasonably normal again and I go to wash my face.

As soon as I touch my nose, I recoil with a hiss of pain. Gently feeling my nose and face explains why I'm having trouble breathing. I think my nose is broken.

Glancing around, I notice a small square of polished steel screwed to the wall. Looking over to see the condition of my face, I'm shocked by the stranger that looks back at me. The face is different enough from my own with its bruising, cuts and the swelling around my nose and cheek, but the most dramatic change is my hair. It's now cut short and bleached to a horrible shade of yellow.

The shock of seeing myself like this almost brings me to my knees and I have to catch myself against the wall.

My god, what's going to happen to me?

* * *

As I stare numbly at my reflection in the tiny bit of steel, the door at the top of the stairs opens and someone's heavy steps start down.

I immediately retreat back to the mattress and crouch behind the post, an ineffectual barrier but the only one I have.

Down the stairs comes Luther.

"Oh your hair, it's all yellow now. Look, I brung you something to eat."

I take the paper towel wrapped item and he hands me a juice box as well.

"Thank you, Luther." Suddenly I'm starving and unwrap what is obviously a sandwich.

"It's peanut butter and banana. I made it myself."

I hungrily wolf the sandwich down. Some parts are thick with peanut butter, and other parts are without any. The mixture is difficult to swallow and I shakily open the juice box. The thin juice tastes wonderful going down my throat.

"Why, Luther, why are you doing this?"

"You were nice to me. You helped me. You're so purtty and I love you and after we get married, you'll love me too 'cause married folk love each other."

"Luther, I can't marry, I'm too young. I need to get back home. Please let me go, I miss my mom and dad, I miss my family, please let me go."

"No, you don't understand. Mama says we're getting married and that you'll love me and that's that. I don't want to hear you say that. You say that and mama's going to hit you again."

"That right, Luther boy, I will."

Looking up through my tears, that hateful woman is standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Please let me go," I beg, "I promise I won't tell anyone, just let me go."

Luther's mom strides over and delivers a heavy backhand, sending me into the wall and down to the ground.

"Luther done tole yuh. No more a that! Now yuh get ta larn some things, yuh be marrin' my boy, I'm yo mama and yuh new name be, Lily. That what I name yuh and that what yuh be. Now Lily, who be yo mama?"

Crying, I cower against the wall. A hand grabs my hair and pulls me roughly to my feet. Her face mere inches from mine, her spittle hitting me as she asks again, "Lily, who be yo mama?"

Through my fear and anger I yell back, "My name is Alex and you are not my mother you evil old hag!"

I throw my head forward and my forehead smashes into her chin sending her reeling. With her staggering backwards and Luther covering his face with his hands crying, I shove my way past them and run towards the stairs, forgetting the shackle.

The force when I reach the end of the cable brings me heavily to the ground and in an instant a crushing weight lands on my back driving all the air from my lungs. Luther's mom flips me easily over on my back and proceeds to rain blow after heavy blow on my head and face, her mad screams drowning out my cries of pain.

* * *

When next I come to, I'm laying in the dirt near the bottom of the stairs. The acrid taste of bile in my mouth, my leg and face in pain. My eyes are gritty and matted closed. My left one I eventually get open but my right eye is too swollen.

After multiple attempts, I finally get to my hands and knees but it takes me about ten minutes to do it. It feels like my ankle might be broken as even the slightest movement sends shooting pain up my leg.

Eventually, I'm able to crawl back to my thin mattress and collapse, panting with the effort that it takes.

When my breathing calms down a bit, I shakily sit up to asses my latest injuries. Well I don't think the ankle is broken, but my abrupt stop did take a good hunk of skin off and heavily bruised the bone and tendons.

Looking around, I don't see anything that I can use to clean the wound so I rip the bottom couple of inches from the rag I'm wearing.

I'm going to need water and the thought of making my way over to the sink fills me with dread. Steeling myself, I use the post to help me stand. With a hand on the wall for support, I limp over to the sink, hissing and crying in pain the entire way.

Looking in my tiny mirror, I'm shocked again by my appearance. If my nose wasn't broken before, it surely is now. My right eye is heavily bruised and swollen closed; in fact the entire right side of my face is swollen. The left eye was caked closed from the blood that came from a cut along the eyebrow. My lips are split, swollen and a lovely mixed color of purple and black. The rest of my face is cut and heavily bruised from the beatings I've received. I look like a mutant raccoon, the kind you sometimes see splattered at the side of the road.

I'm not sure how much more I can take. If this keeps up, that mad woman will surely kill me. I have got to find a way out of here.

Taking my rag I soak it and use it as a compress against my poor abused face. The wet coolness feels wonderful.

After cleaning my face as best I can, I then turn my attention to my ankle. After cleaning away the blood and washing the gash, I wrap the rag around as a makeshift bandage.

With my wounds taken care of I now need to use the bathroom. The only thing available to do so is a bucket next to the sink. After using that and cleaning myself up afterwards, I hobble back to my mattress and collapse.

As I sit there catching my breath, the door opens and Luther and his mother come down. Luther is looking real worried and I get the feeling that it doesn't bode well for me. I'm sure of that when I see the stun stick in his mother's hand.

Luther stops halfway to me and turns and faces the wall, hiding his face from me. His mother continues over to me and kneels down. I take some satisfaction in that she has a large bruise on her chin.

"Three things: yuh be Lily, I'm yo mama and yuh be marrying Luther." As soon as she finishes saying that, she hits me with the stun stick and my body explodes in pain.

It's a brief hit this time and somehow I'm able to not pass out. As I fight off the effects, I see her walk over and grab the bucket by the sink and go back upstairs leaving Luther down with me.

After she's gone, Luther comes over and hands me another sandwich and juice box.

"Thank you. Luther, I need to get out of here. She's going to kill me if I don't."

"Oh no. You just gotta do what she say is all."

"No, Luther, she wants me dead. I'm going to die here if I stay."

At that I finish up the juice box, lie down and face the wall.

My days–and it must be days although through the increasing fog I'm in it could be weeks, months or even years–are all the same. Luther comes down with his mother, she only says the same thing, that my name is now Lily, and that she's my mom and that I'm going to marry Luther. The only thing that is ever different is what comes after she says that. Sometimes she'll hit or kick me; sometimes she'll use the stun stick. Sometimes she'll do all three until I'm convulsing on the floor. All the while she's beating me, she's talking to herself under her breath.

When she's done, she changes out the bucket and leaves me and Luther alone so he can give me my meal of a peanut butter and banana sandwich and a juice box. Sometimes Luther will just want to talk, other times he'll want to play 'Go Fish' or 'Old Maid'. There are times that I feel almost as sorry for Luther as I do for myself.

Every day I tell Luther the same thing, that she's trying to kill me, and every day Luther says she isn't.

Today I ignore the food that Luther hands me and stay curled up on the mattress. Today his mother was particularly vicious and I'm having difficult time breathing.

Through chapped and swollen lips, I say, "I'm dying Luther. I'm not going to last much longer, she's going to kill me next time. She's already broken something inside me." I spit out some blood. "Don't do this again Luther. When I die, don't ever do this again."

Feeling real tired I close my eyes and ignore Luther as he says "You need to live, you an' me goin' to be married." But he no longer sounds as sure as he once did and getting no response from me, he finally leaves.

* * *

I'm awakened by the stairway door slamming open and Luther's mother yelling "Jus' yuh load that truck. We need to get and soon. Never yuh mind about Lily, I take care of her, now hurry boy."

Looking up as she comes down the stairs, I see that this time she isn't carrying the stun stick, she has a large kitchen knife in her hand.

Coming up to me she says "What yo name?"

Looking at the knife I stammer, "La-Lily."

"Who yo mama?"

"Y-you are mama."

"Who yuh be marryin'?"

"L-Luther."

She just stands there looking at me, judging my answers. I stare at the knife in her hand, my fingers absently rubbing the scars on my ankle.

"Liar." And she raises the knife above her head. I have no where to go and no way to stop her. I send a silent prayer to Mom and Dad, Ellen, Mark and Bill and finally to Robbyn as the knife comes down.

* * *

As the knife comes down I scream. Miraculously I see Luther's large hand grip her arm from behind stopping it from plunging the knife into me.

Luther's mother is shocked and screams, "No Luther, we gotta kill her, let me go!"

She tries to pull her arm away and Luther tries to pull her back from me. The blade of the knife is waving inches in front of my face.

"Yuh don' understand boy, this one is evil. Mama will find yuh a good gil ta marry but we gotta kill this one and leave."

Grimly Luther hangs on, slowly pulling the knife back away from me. His mother is twisting and turning, franticly trying to get free so she can kill me when the tip of that long bladed knife passes through the side of her neck.

She stops struggling as the spray of blood covers us. Slowly she crumples as Luther pulls the knife from her dying fingers.

"Mama!" Luther screams and keeps on screaming.

Suddenly there are explosions and bright flashes of light. I'm screaming and so is Luther. He's staggering around waving the knife and crying for his mother.

Through the smoke and the noise, black clad figures are rushing down the stairs. They're yelling but I can't make out what they are saying.

Luther sees them and turns towards me. He reaches out to me, then his body starts to jerk in time to a steady pop, pop, pop sound.

The knife drops from his fingers as he collapses against me, my head slamming into the wall as we fall together.

* * *

My world has gone mad. The crushing weight is pulled from on top of me. The room is spinning and shadows move into and out of focus.

Jumbled words without meaning break through, words like 'bolt cutters' and 'no pulse', 'clear' and 'found her'. One of the shadows leans over me and removes its face to reveal another beneath it. The blue eyes from this new face are asking me something over and over. The eyes move away and I'm being tossed around like a leaf on the wind, then I settle on my back again. The eyes come back and start talking to me again. This time they're upside down and I can't make out what they want. I know I should be able to but I just can't.

I must be on a ship as I'm rocking back and forth and then sail up the stairs. Before leaving I look down and see Luther drifting away with clouds of shadows surrounding him then I rise into the heart of a sun.

I close my eyes from the intense brightness and try to cover them with my hands but I can't seem to move. The ship stops moving and the light lessens. The chaos of sound eases and I begin to make out more words.

I open my eyes again, the blue eyes are still there, still asking me something.

"…Alex?"

"…you Alex?"

I just stare into the eyes, my brow furrowing as I try to understand.

"…your name?"

"Lily."

"Lily? Did you say your name is Lily?"

The confused look the blue eyes give me makes me remember, "No, it's Alex, my name is Alex."

The eyes smile and tell me that I'm safe now, that I'm going home. I believe them and let go of the nightmare and close my eyes.

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Comments

Difficult episode

My editor told me that this was a difficult episode to read. It was even harder for me to write.

Fortunately, both Alex and I survived and Alex is now heading back home.

As an author I do have control over the story, however I must also go where the story leads me. I really didn't want to write this episode but now that I'm a few more ahead, I'm glad I did. As nasty as this experience was for Alex, I believe it will make her stronger in the long run.

luv,

Connie

It may...

But, if it's anything like my limited exposure to such (personally) it will also haunt her for years, if not the rest of her life.

I don't disagree that it's a powerful scene. Nor that it may prove important in the growth of this young lady. To be honest, I'd expect it to have a SIGNIFICANT impact on the future course of her life - and what she chooses to do with it.

Anne

This is a powerful scene.

Yes, it was traumatic and hard to read, but I think it is a credit to the author that she was able to make it seem so realistic. Can Alex recover? You bet! I've been beaten unconscious before; made to feel worthless and weak; made me feel like I'd do anything to get mercy from my attacker. It left me pretty messed up for years, but I did not get any counseling, no love, no one to say that it was wrong, and I never saw him punished. There was no revenge, no recompensense.

I nursed and fed my hatred most of my life, achieved things that they never thought I could because I was so pissed off that I decided that I would show them. At the height of my achievement, everything came home to rest, I crashed and lost it all. I remember that for months I cried, regretted, wished that God would kill me, begged him to do it, apologised for being such an ass and for failing so dismaly.

Something about losing everything, makes you care less about what you have, makes you more humble, more loving and caring.

So, will it affect Alex, yes. But she will have all the counseling, love and support and experience all the healing that so many of us here never got.

I know that this was a tough scene to write, but you done good girl.

Much peace

Khadijah

Yuck...

The scene - not the way you told it. I came "this" close to just dropping it, as I don't like this kind of thing - whether it's fiction or RL... And, I don't have any patience for the perpetrators of the same.

I stuck it out, 'cause I've enjoyed the story so far - and figure it's important to where you're going with this, but... It sickened me.

Does this stuff happen? Sadly, yes. Alex will have a major issue to deal with - making her separation from Robin seem minor. You've set yourself up with a mighty big thing to work her through. Alex will likely feel major guilt at Luthor's death... Feeling she's the cause of it... And, in one sense she is. Which will make it worse.

Luther sounded to be of fairly limited mental facilities. Doesn't mean he couldn't have lived a full and productive life - given the right environment. So many do. Yet, many more probably don't. He could also have been hurt somewhere - leaving him this way. We just don't know - and are not likely to (unless you bring it into the story). This could also turn Alex pretty sour on people that "look like" Moma & Luther - or poor/uneducated folks in general - that's what they sounded like).

Guess this is ONE way to make things more difficult for Alex - who's been FLYING though problems as if she really was super girl/wonder woman. And, I can't really complain that you did a dark scene like this (As one's forthcoming in my "bedtime story"...). But, I could wish you'd done it third person. It'd be better for my dreams...

*sighs*

I hope you find a way to turn this into something positive. I really do!

And - before you think this is all negative... Your description of the conditioning of Alex was FAR to accurate/effective for me. That's all. 'Cause, yeah - that kinda thing can/has worked on some folks.

Anne

Luther's Mother Was One Sick Woman

jengrl's picture

Luther's mother was one sick woman. She reminded me of some of those stereotyped stories about Hillbillies that did the same thing. I am glad that the woman is dead though. Alex won't have to deal with a trial, but the physical and psychological scars will haunt her for a while. I do wish that the SWAT team had been the one to kill her, but it is a shame her son died a hero to save Alex. If there is a positive to come out of this, I hope that Robbyn will get to stay with her and attend the same school together. It makes sense, since they are both going to attend Stanford when they graduate anyway.She will need all the comfort and reassurance she can get now.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

I was reminded of character

I was reminded of character from Eye of the Storm (Hudson family 3, by V.C. Andrews), aunt Victoria, she too almost killed heroin, but she was more tragic than evil.
Hopefully, even thogh its not probably I´d like to see next chapter sooner, it was difficult week to wait and waiting another to see what happens with Alex is just too awful. Geez, why am I so impatient?
Robin

Lotsa rehabilitation ahead

... plastic surgery for the nose and dosed with sessions for the soul I fear.

I guess this arc is suppose to wipe out some naivete she might feel with the world. Sadly there are a lot of sick people and well do I know that. I've met enough of them too and they always leave a foul taste in mouth and in my belief that we are any better than animals.

It is also fair warning that if she finally becomes famous she may very well need personal protection. Luckily for her she did video that scene of Luthor being abused otherwise there was no way they could have tracked her down.

Kim

Difficult, indeed

Sadly, such things do happen, and it's difficult to comprehend man's inhumanity to fellow man. Certainly I don't feel any sympathy for the perps whose ethos seemed to be all about selfishness and power.

It wasn't apparent to me from this episode just how long Alex was captive. I gained the impression that Alex's physical fitness played a significant part in her survival. Now, it's going to take time for her to heal physically and mentally. No doubt there will be PTSD, but at least she has Amanda, and hopefully the good relationship she has with her therapist will stand her in good stead.

I also wonder what effect this incident is going to have on Robbyn and Alex's relationship.

Connie, things of this nature are certainly difficult to write, and I think you did a good job. I'm looking forward to Alex's healing.

Painful Subjugation


Bike Resources

It is your story

ALISON

'and I guess you had to write it,but it frightened the living daylights out of me!! But I will be here for the next posting.

ALISON

This Is Not a Negative Comment

littlerocksilver's picture

At least I hope it is not taken that way. What you wrote was very powerful. I'm not sure what your intent was, and I'm sure we'll know more as the story continues to unfold. I'm not sure how long it will take me to recover. That was like ... well I'm not sure what it was like. I think my reaction to it was similar to what it was after Tucson. I mean, my emotional level has taken a huge dip. That poor girl, all of them, did nothing to deserve this. And, that's the problem. Life is not fair. Contrary to some chauvanistic attitudes portrayed over the years, she didn't ask for it. Few victims ever do. In her universe, how many people are going to second guess what happened. Should they have known, what signs were there that they ignored. Well it's moot. Now all they can do is try to save this badly damaged little girl.

Portia

Portia

Not taken that way at all

I know exactly how you feel. I felt it for days as I wrote this.

There were times that I just had to stop and try to get some distance. This part has been written for some time but I'm only now being able to sleep better and not dream of this.

There was a need for me to write this which is why I forced my way through it. One, the story really did take me there but I suppose I could have avoided it if I really wanted to. The second reason is, well writing is a way for me to work myself through some of my demons.

Nothing quite as dramatic as what happened to Alex, but to me nearly as traumatic. Hopefully I'm through with that and we can get on to happier things. I certainly don't want to go to these dark places again any time soon, they wear me out.

Luv,

Connie

Unexpected Turn

I understand the need to work through demons and how writing can help do that, but I also think the reader should be warned in advance through the descriptions at the beginning of Chapter 1 where a story is headed; not on Chapter 45. I feel like I've been ambushed as a reader. What has been a sweet story has been turned very ugly. People often don't recover physically let alone emotionally from what has been described in this chapter. In real life, her modeling career, parkour, even normal movement and speech even after months of physical therapy could all be gone. There could be brain damage. I wouldn't have started reading what has been a great series up to now if I had any idea it was going to go this way. I can read the paper if I want to read about brutality and tragedy.

Had I but known

If I knew that this was going to happen back in chapter 1 the warning would have been there. There was no intension on my part to just have some gratuitous violence for violence sake nor is it my intention to cause anyone any unnecessary pain or suffering.

To try and spare my readers I did add a warning at the beginning of this installment. Perhaps it should have be worded stronger.

Connie

It's Happened Before

You aren't alone. Other authors have taken the same turn with only a warning at the top of the current chapter. I'm sure it will happen again in the future. It jars me every time. It has nothing to with the warning at the top of this chapter. It's all about the change in direction of the story after so many chapters. Surely you understand that you've described life changing injuries that appear to change the story from a very positive coming of age story to one of struggling to regain as much of a normal life as possible?

Very intense!

This chapter adds meaning to the phrase "no good deed goes unpunished." She going to have nightmares for a long time. The real scary part is that there are people like Luther and his mother for real. Unfortunately, I've known some at a distance.

I'll be very interested to see how the ramifications of this experience are dealt with in future installments.

Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~

Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~

Maybe it's just me

Let me preface my remarks by saying that I TOTALLY LOVE this story and what the author has done with it. That is until this specific chapter. To me it just sticks out like a sore thumb. It feels exploitative and unnecessary. What is it's purpose? Hasn't life been hard enough for Alex? Why do this? I do have an open mind and would be open to hearing from the author as to what her rational was. Perhaps it's something important that comes together down the line because of it but I can't imagine that it couldn't have been done in a less grotesque manner.....Adoy

Catwalk Confidence - Part 45

Alex will never be the same : both physically and emotionally. Now she is one of the walking wounded that only her inner strength and family can help keep her from falling into the abyss of horror

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I believe that healing can be complete

I believe that Alex will fully recover. Will this be with her the rest of her life? Certainly it will but it will be how she learns to deal with it that will complete her healing. These events mark a profound change in the course of Alex's life. How? Well stick around and see.

Were the events as described over the top? I don't know. I certainly edited things down quite a bit from my first draft and had hoped that I had done enough. I did not take any joy in writing them but felt that this chapter was necessary for where Alex is going to go in her life.

This was a truly horrible thing that happened to Alex but I feel that her healing and peace will come from her mastery of what happened and not allowing what happened to master her. This is not going to happen over night but it will happen.

Connie

Yes, you are the author Connie -

And you can take the story anywhere you want to.

Unfortunately I cannot understand why the last two chapters contained the abduction and torture of Alex. There seems to me no logical or relevant reason unless someone else has suggested and /or you are having your own issues?

I guess, whether I understand or not is also irrelevant. There are many other things in this universe I don't understand also, so what's one more.

However I like Alex's character and will still follow her fortunes, good ones I'm hoping?

A disturbing chapter -

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

VERY hard to read but all too true. That took guts, Connie.

I applaud your willingness to risk upsetting your readers.

What has made this story special, what makes Alex so special is her resilience, her mental toughness. Something like this was bound to happen. She is naive as a woman, having been thought to be a male until recently. Then all the publicity. She was bound to put herself into a dangerous position by accident. That they found where she lived surprised me a little but they could have followed her or her address was published by the press.

I feared it was a kidnapping for ransom from the rich family who's grandchild she saved. The wacked out lunatic mother of the mentally disabled child was not on my radar.

She is young and with the help of the rich family and her birth family her wounds will heal, IE she will get the very finest medical care available but mentally it will be hard. But then she is so tough perhaps she will make it. The big questions I see are, is there any permanent damage mentally or physically? She wants to be a mother, did all the beatings injure her reproductive system? Will she be able to be as athletic in future? What of her potential modeling career? They have all those videos of the Parkor runs, her modeling and the still photos so restoring her nose and appearance should be a snap, so to speak.

What of her academic career? What of the school? Can she attend now or will it be too stressful? My ghod if you thought she was famous before...

She did almost commit suicide once. If she has lost something of great value due to the injuries or she feels guilt of the boy's death might she do it again? I have said or at least thought before that her parents have ignored her too long and this is a perhaps another result of that attitude towards her. The moment she became famous and a potential model she became a target for kidnappers and deluded fans -- the mentally disabled boy fits the deluded fan model IMHO -- She needed/needs around the clock guards starting yesterday. She needs to wear a tracker or other protective devices.

Her parents have got to stop reacting and instead think ahead of the game. Perhaps Alex's own self reliance has encouraged their rather hands off approach to raising her. Time they gather her in and take her needs more personally. They are good people but need to take greater care. Alex could have died. Nuf said.

As to guilt? The boy convinced his mom to abduct Alex. She is in no way guilty of anything other than trying to stop the bullies in the park. If anything she should pity the dead boy and hate the mom. The mom and to a far lesser extent the boy, are totally at fault.

I salute your courage in writing this. It could not have been easy or pleasant. But then sometimes bad things happen to good people. I think it made sense in the overall story arc. Hey, she could have misjudged something in her Parkor and fallen and been crippled or died.

As distasteful, as uncomfortable as this chapter was to read I liked it. And this is coming from a lover of Disney Happy Endings TM. Please do write more.

Sorry if I rambled but this chapter was a real *button pusher* for me. As I said before in other ways, bravo, Connie.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I Certainly Have To Agree With You

littlerocksilver's picture

I caught all sorts of hell when I let Musetta die, not to mention Esmeralda. There is one difference. My stories are completed when I start posting them. Connie has written a woderful story and her muse has taken her in ways that we were not prepared for. That's her prerogative. I hope she doesn't make drastic changes from what her original intentions were. The nice thing about not posting until the story is completed is that I don't have to worry about comments swaying how I write future chapters. They are done.

Portia

Portia

Musetta and Esmeralda's Death's

jengrl's picture

Musetta and Esmeralda's deaths were both within the natural progression of life. I can't figure out why anyone would take issue with something that is a natural part of life? Musetta and Esmeralda both lived very long lives. Ben Franklin was right on the money about the two certainties in life being death and taxes.This story portrayed deaths that were absolutely preventable because of choices made by two mentally unstable people, just as the tragic shootings in Tucson. Jared Loughner took the lives of innocent people and that was absolutely not necessary and very wrong. They weren't allowed to live into old age as Musetta and Esmeralda did.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

That was powerful

The English Teacher's picture

And sadly very hard to read.

Unfortunately in our Real World there are people who have this problem. To them what Mama did to Alex isn't seen as wrong probably because they had it done to them.

Connie I am sorry you have this pain but I am glad that writing about it helps to make it better.

A+ Girl since the beginning this has been my favorite story.

The English Teacher

So much to read, so little time and only one of me :)

The English Teacher

For the disapointed by this chapter

Dear fellow readers,

As some of you have stated your disapointment because of the violent nature of this chapter, and implyed a disapointment with the whole series, I would like to kindly request that you wait one or two chapters to see how Alex is dealing with the aftermath of her kidnap before dropping the story. Personally I also do not like stories with violence (either physical, sexual and/or psychological) and/or explicit/graphical sex scenes. Therefor I avoid reading stories published by certain authors, even though they seem to have a following. That said, life happens and violence is a part of life. Unfortunately many of us have suffered enough violence to last for several lifetimes, and we would prefeer to avoid any and all further exposure to it.

As I read this chapter, my personal impression is that Connie has been rather restrained with her description of the abuse Alex suffered. And she has not mentioned how long Alex was held captive. I am sure that in the next few chapters we will learn how long Alex was held captive, and the importance of details of events relate here will become clearer as Alex - and her family also - have to deal with the aftermath and recovery.

Connie, thank you for the fair warning at the start of this chapter. And please to NOT be discourage by some of the negative comments. I know that you did not post this chapter just because. But rather that you put a lot of thought into it, and went through a lot of emotional distress in the process. You have done a very good job with the story so far, and I hope you will continue.

Hugs,
Jessica

Edited to add:
PS: While reading the chapter and comments, and writing my comment above, Connie allready addressed some of the issues I am raising above.

Yes Connie -

We still love you and Alex.

Hang in there!

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Ditto. LOVE to see where this goes, how our heroine finds ...

the way forward.

Cathartic chapter. Will the phoenix rise from the ashes of this horrid experience stronger and all the more wonderful because of it or will she self destruct, implode from fear and a sense of loss?

I promise to hang in there and see where Connie takes our heroine as she struggles to recover.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I am reading this story...I've found it to be compelling...

Andrea Lena's picture

...but I also agree with cbee regarding the concerns she expressed. Writing as a therapeutic exercise is a good thing. But from what I can see, some of the readers remain disappointed because they invested a lot of time and emotional energy into this story, which for nearly all of it's publication, has been a sweet and sentimental story about self-discovery. From that perspective, taking the bulk of the story as it has been presented to date, to change the tone of the story at this late juncture feels awkward at best; as if you were reading a romantic comedy and a murder occurred three-quarters into the book.

That having been said, I look forward to the way Connie addresses the healing process for this girl, which as others have mentioned, will be very painful and not a short process, indeed. Having been in that place myself, I know it won't be easy, either to read or write, and certainly not an easy process for Alex. Thanks for the story, Connie. I eagerly await the next chapter.



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Yep

Timing is everything though. How long she was kept is subjective IMHO as it is from Alex's POV. When one is in a difficult situation you are in survival mode and time becomes very fluid. There are other stories on Stardust that deals with abuse, notably Julie O's stories who address sexual abuse, and the subjective deprivation they go through to break them is all too familiar faire.

Why talk about that? It goes to how much time and damage to Alex's life we can expect. Her window of opportunity has come and, no, it is next to impossible regain such opportunities once missed. Timing is everything as the old saying goes.

Of course we are distressed for Alex. True beauty is rare even for young teenagers. Rarer still are women still beautiful in their 40s and 50s (without makeup!) For that matter, frankly from what I can see, the vast majority of humanity is not beautiful, INCLUDING YOURS TRULY, and we just make do with 'help'. And yes beauty is not totally subjective imho as babies have demonstrated they prefer prettier faces. There ARE basic standards.

So, the question comes down to whether Alex can recover fast enough to hang on to her new opportunities? Is this a situation to eliminate in her any potential of vapidness or is this just a character building episode in which she loses the opportunities she is given and learn to live with deep disappointment.

I understand the author has done it this way for a reason even though character can be acquired without having to go through such an extreme circumstance as is true for the majority of us in the Western world ( in less developed parts of the world, I doubt what happened to Alex is rare, sadly! ) I hope there is a reasonable balance between choosing to inject such a grim circumstance in the way of the growth of this character AND what rational expectations of benefit to be reaped from it when she recovers.

The one ray of hope of her recovery is that she recovers her name at the end.

Kim

More is to come

Part 46 is being edited and worked on for next Friday and Part 47 is about a third done. I plan on Catwalk going on for quite a long while.

Hugs,

Connie

There's an old Latin Saying

littlerocksilver's picture

Non illigitima carborundum est. (Actually it is phony Latin) Don't let the bastards grind you down.

Portia

Portia

not reading this one

Just looking it over I decided to skip this one, perhaps even the rest of the story. Just not my cup-o-tea. A shame too, up until this installment I was really enjoying the story.

----------
Jenna

Not what I was suspecting

I think what makes this so off putting is that in addition to the emotional shock is that it happens right after she accepts her beauty and the attention it brings. This has the potential of undoing all the progress she made. I hope this only adds depth to the story and doesn't totally change it.

I'm really enjoying this story, and will stick with it wherever it goes.

I'll also stick with the story

Some readers have said the situation came out of the left field, was uncalled for, or stuck out like a sore thumb. A sad fact of life is that many such situations do exactly that - sneak up on unawares. And since we've been looking at everything from Alex's POV it happened exactly like that. This is a possible justification of the situation coming up at all.

But, the situation was indeed difficult, from both sides. We've yet to see the investigation.

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Thanks for the great ongoing

Thanks for the great ongoing story !

This was a tough chapter, the mother was so nuts that all Alex could do was resist and survive.

Glad they are both dead, who knows how many other girls have been kidnapped by them.
Luther was partially a victim too, but he could have told someone to save Alex earlier.

Looking more forward to the next episodes.

Thanks

D

The aftermath

Obviously the mental scars will take longer than the physical ones to completely heal, but I'd imagine being back in the family environment, with a decent bed will quickly push nighttime anxiety for one to the back of her mind, only to resurface occasionally.

As for the physical scars, it will probably take between a few weeks and a few months to repair the ankle and facial injuries, but recovering her hair may take longer. I'd assume in the short term they'll tidy up the cut and possibly dye it back to its original colour, so as it grows back the join won't be noticeable. It's a good job she's already done a spot of modelling and completed the commercial - and no doubt the income from those will contribute a large part to getting the very best medical treatment available. Even so, it'll be several months before she can resume modelling and parkour, but in the mean time I can imagine her visiting Luthor's grave. It's a shame he was killed, but with him being so disoriented when the SWAT team appeared and stumbling towards Alex with the knife in his hand, unfortunately if he hadn't been 'dropped' he may have accidentally stabbed her, so making her injuries even worse.

I imagine the next few chapters will be about her rehabilitation, and Alex will no doubt have to relieve the terror through recounting the events of the past period to the police, before eventually settling back down again to something approaching normality.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I don't know what to think...

This was a hard chapter to read. Like many others that have commented before me, it felt like it came out of left field and whacked me upside the head. It definitely wasn't the type of story that I hoped Catwalk Confidence would be.

That being said, I can see and understand why Connie did this. There is power in overcoming tragedy. I did a similar thing to Sarah Carerra when she was confronted at her press conference. My own scenario was nowhere near as intense or life-changing as what happened to Alex, but I know that it was a turning point that drove my character forward with a newfound confidence and the ability to overcome some of the heartache and pitfalls that she will encounter.

It will be a while until Alex gets to the point where I feel Sarah is. But I think this will be a positive experience for Alex in the end. Obviously, nobody wants the negative aspects of what happened to occur to someone so young. But Alex is a strong young woman, and I believe that she will take what happened to her and become a better person.

I've been working a piece of Catwalk into Sarah Carerra with Connie's permission. I did so because I really admire Connie and what she has given us. Not too long ago she wrote me to tell me something happens in Catwalk, and it might affect what I wrote. She didn't give me the details, but I was worried. Reading through it now, I don't know what to think. I can't imagine writing anything like this. But I'm a faithful follower of this story, and I'm still honored to have the opportunity to take a piece of it and weave it into my own. I respect Connie, and while I am more than willing to forget this chapter ever happened, I can't wait to see what happens in the future.

Get well soon, Alex.

Hugs,
Megan

A French film director once said ...

... to me, that without conflict, there is no story. Personally, I have always preferred books and stories to films, simply because I can build up a mental picture and thus create a world in which the author's events take place, rather than have that world's images thrust upon me. Yes, this episode was shocking in both content and also contextually within the series. But to the commenters that have now decided that this has ruined it for them, I say that you have no right to complain just because the author has taken this in a different direction to the world you have built up in YOUR imagination. That is almost the same as so many of us have to deal with when confronted by bigots. Bigotry arises mainly through inflexible, closed minds. I for one first congratulate Connie on a superb series, on great writing throughout and for having the guts to write such a hard scene. I am waiting agog for how she is going to continue and resolve the many issues that have now emerged from a particularly nasty can of worms. Well done Connie - please continue the stunningly good work! Diana.

"The Cost of Living Does Not Appear To Have Affected Its Popularity"in most, but not all, instances

Kidnapping & Atempted Murder

Renee_Heart2's picture

I did't care much for this chapter much I'm sorry Connie

I'm glad she is found & now I know it was a Vodo woman that kidnaped Alix. She got what she deserver in the end IDK how the cops found her but I'm glad they did, & also gald that luther got the knife away form his moma even if it did mean killing her. With him mently chalanged he will have to go to a home for the rest of his life for the criminaly insane for accesory to kidnapping before & after the fact, Assult several counts, Accessory to assult several counts accessory to attempted murder before & after the face = 25-50 year in prisson.

Now Alix is safe & she will have to see her phycitrest A LOT after this, I think Robbin better stick arround for a wile so she can help her friend get better. That is what friends are for & i think Robbins parents will agree to let her stay with Alix to help her through this very very rough time in her life.
Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

That Pop, Pop, Pop...

...rendering Luther unconscious, gave many of us the impression that he is dead, eliminating all questions of trials, sentences and the extent mental impairment. (And from a story standpoint, it makes it easier for Alex to put it all behind her.)

And exactly what culture Luther's mother was emulating seems a bit more of an open question to me, since Luther doesn't seem like a name that a nominally Catholic Cajun (or Creole) would give a son.

Eric

could only skim this

sorry hon. loved the series, but i might have skipped it had i knew this was coming.

"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"

dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

A 2nd comment to lighten the

A 2nd comment to lighten the mood;

Was Alex rescued by the Nike SWAT team ?

I believe their motto is; Just Kill It.

D

kidnapped

MY God, I hope that never happens to me! I'm not much larger than Alex so stopping anyone larger doesn't look good!

Poor Alex going through a living nightmare.

Vivien

Vivi