Catwalk Confidence - Part 48

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Catwalk Confidence

By Connie Alexander

Part 48

About an hour after my call to Jack, I hear the doorbell ring. I hear Dad call out that he’ll get it and a couple of minutes later the door to the patio opens.

Looking over, there’s Jack. Holding my finger to my lips for silence, I motion him on over. He smiles at me and comes and stands by Ellen.

“Ellen,” I call out.

“What?” and she opens her eyes.

The look on her face is priceless. She’s completely speechless and for a minute she’s just looking back and forth between Jack and me, her mouth opening and closing without saying anything. Then she jumps up and throws her arms around him.

Unable to contain myself, I jump up and start to do a little happy dance, all the while singing a little song.

“Oh I so got you. Yes I really got you. You have your boyfriend now and you want to kiss him.”

They’re looking at me like I lost my mind. I just smile and say, “Well kiss him already.”

Ellen does and I resume my happy dance and silly song.

“She kissed her boyfriend, and they’re so cute now. They’re really happy and…”

Looking at Jack and Ellen, they both have huge grins on their faces and Ellen is pointing behind me.

I turn and there’s Robbyn! I’m frozen in place not believing my eyes. I can’t move or say a word.

Ellen starts to dance around me and sing.

“Oh we so got you, we really got you. Your girlfriend’s here now and you should kiss her.”

In her regular voice Ellen says, “Well, go on now, give her a kiss.”

That breaks my trance and I immediately go and give her a hug. It doesn’t last long before I pull back and give her a quick kiss.

Mark immediately says, “You’re kissing another girl.”

Turning to him I respond, “Get used to it.”

“Okay, cool,” he says with a smile.

Turning back to Robbyn I ask, “How did you get here? Who, how…?”

Smiling at me she lightly touches my cheek and says, “You don’t really think you could’ve kept me away, do you?”

Heebie-jeebies be dammed, I wrap my arms around her like I never want to let her go, and I don’t.

* * *

When we’re up in my room putting her stuff away, Robbyn turns to me and says, “Oh god, Alex, I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you again. When you were taken…”

I hold up my hand. “No, let’s not talk about that yet. Once we start we’ll have to go through the whole ugly thing and I don’t want to do that yet. Tonight will be soon enough. So tell me, how long can you stay?”

“Two weeks. I wanted it to be longer but there’s a ton of stuff that I need to get done before school starts next month. We’re still on for getting together over winter break, right?”

“Yes we are. Depending on how well I’m doing, you may have to come out here. Would that be okay with your folks?”

“I’m sure it will. We’ll work out something at any rate. I wish I had more time.”

“Me too. Well, we’ll just have to make the best of it.”

“I do have some good news. I had originally wanted to surprise you with it but I just can’t wait now.”

“What is it?”

“You know that I want to go to Stanford, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, we may be moving out here. Daddy has been talking with a number of the hospitals and Stanford medical is at the top of the list. He wants to do some teaching and cardiac research. Right now it’s between Stanford and UCLA. We could conceivably move out here in the middle of the school year.”

“Oh, Robbyn, please don’t tell me you’re kidding about this. Really? That will be so great!”

We quickly hug and almost as quickly I let her go.

“Are you okay, Alex?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. We’ll talk about it all tonight. Let’s go back downstairs.”

We finish up putting her things away and I change out of my swimsuit. Robbyn has a worried look on her face as she looks at my body.

“Kinda thin, aren’t I?”

“Positively anorexic. You lost so much weight.”

“Yeah, but I’m gaining it back pretty well. It’d go a bunch faster if I could exercise more. I actually look worse than I am. It’s amazing what just eating three meals a day can do. Speaking of eating, let’s go and see when Dad’s putting those burgers on the grill.”

I take Robbyn’s hand and we go back downstairs. In the kitchen, Robbyn grabs the plates and I grab the napkins and silverware and we go out to the patio to set the table.

The twins are helping Mom with the rest of the stuff in the kitchen, Dad’s tending the grill and Ellen is sitting on Jack’s lap.

Robbyn and I go over to where they are and Ellen gets up and gives me a quick hug.

“You stinker, I told you that Jack and I were giving us this time for family.”

“Hey, Jack is practically family. I told you that it wasn’t necessary but you wouldn’t listen so I took things into my own hands. He’s important to you so he’s important to me too. Besides, you can’t tell me that you didn’t know about Robbyn coming out here.”

“Well, maybe.”

We all have a good chuckle over how we’ve been acting.

Jack says, “Alex, Brandon and my father wanted me to tell you how very happy that you’re back home now.”

“Thanks, Jack, and thank your father and Brandon for me too. Not only for your kind wishes but for all the lovely flowers you guys sent. As you can see, we can almost open our own flower shop with all the arrangements we have. It’s awfully nice to have them around. It helps a lot.”

We just sit around and chat until we’re called to dinner. I eat far slower than I used to and am only about halfway done with my burger when the twins are ready for their second.

I finish up savoring the last bite of my burger, then wiping the juice from my chin.

“Dad, that was de-lish. I’m so glad I can eat a regular meal now.”

“Why couldn’t you eat before?” asks Robbyn.

“Two reasons: my stomach shrank a bunch and I picked up some tummy critters. This is really only like the third day I’ve been eating this much. Before that it was much smaller amounts and even then, fairly bland stuff. I’m afraid that my eyes are still too big for my stomach though. There’s no way I’m going to be able to finish this potato salad. It’s darned yummy too.”

“They didn’t feed you?” asks Jack.

Making a face, I reply, “I only got a peanut butter and banana sandwich about once a day and the water I had access to was dirty well water. Kinda nasty but all I had.

“So, to change the subject,” I say with a smile, “you’re in your last year of school, aren’t you?”

“Sure am, then out into the big bad world to try to earn a living.”

“Ellen says you’re interested in marketing. You wouldn’t happen to be interested in doing marketing for say a new upcoming fashion designer would you?” I ask with a wink at Ellen.

Laughing he says, “Maybe, I just might do that.”

* * *

As Robbyn and I are kicked back in the family room watching some television, Mom comes in and asks, “Alex honey, I found the DVD with your commercial on it, would you like to watch it?”

“Oh boy, would I.”

“Okay, I’ll go ask if anyone else wants to as well and I’ll be right back.”

Robbyn says, “Alex, your commercial came out so great. I saw the whole thing filmed and I still can’t believe how well it came out and some of the shots look impossible and I know better.

“It was real nice of Nike to add your missing person information to the end of the commercial, too.”

“They did? I never realized that.”

“Yeah, I remember when your agent came over and told your folks.”

“Wow that was really nice of them.”

Mom comes back carrying a DVD case.

“The others are on their way,” says Mom as she goes over and loads the DVD into the player.

Once everyone has settled, Mom starts the video. This is going to be the full five minute production.

The scene starts with me running along a crowded L.A. street, working my way around all of the people. I’ll be able to run for a bit then something will happen to stop me and I’ll run in place until I can start again. First it’s a large crowd of people moving slowly, then a red light and again when some movers are unloading a truck and carrying large items across the sidewalk.

The increasing frustration is evident on my face and while waiting for the movers to go by, I notice an empty side street. Making my decision, I turn down it.

As I approach the other end, it’s just as crowded. Looking over at a building I’m near, you can tell I’ve come to a decision and I head straight for it.

About ten feet from the building I pick up speed then leap onto the side of the building. Going from one handhold to another, I’m quickly at the top. I pause when I reach the top, look over my shoulder and then with a little smile on my lips and a slight nod of my head, I take off at a run.

Now I’m running across the rooftops, unimpeded by the crowds and traffic below. I’m jumping over pipes and air-conditioning units. I’m up and down the uneven terrain of the rooftops, jumping the gaps between the buildings.

The distances between the buildings are getting wider until there’s the huge leap: twenty-five across and ten feet down. I hit and roll and am immediately up and running again.

The next scene is the rooftop on Rodeo Drive. There’s no other rooftop to jump to, and the street is jammed with buses and trucks. Without a pause, I leap from the rooftop to the top of a semi truck, then to a bus and from there to a light post and slide to the ground.

Taking off to my right, I round the corner and run up the pedestrian walkway towards the Versace store. Before getting there, I start back up the buildings, making my way to the second level open restaurant then up a column to the roof again.

There’s more running from rooftop to rooftop until you see me make a big leap to the ground, suddenly landing near the ‘Hollywood’ sign. You can see the look on my face and that I’m thinking, ‘Yeah, why not?’ then I’m climbing the sign, finally pulling myself up to the top of an ‘O’. The camera pans behind me, showing me looking out over the city below and into the setting sun. Fade to the Nike logo and the words, ‘Just Do It.’

I can’t believe how well the commercial came out. Just watching it brought on a bit of the rush I got doing the runs.

“Wow,” says Jack, “I’ve seen the commercials of course, but never the full video. That’s really good. Whoever they got to do your stunt work looks just like you.”

At that we all start to giggle.

“Jack,” says Ellen, “there wasn’t a stunt double. That was all Alex.”

“No way, you’re kidding me, right?” exclaims Jack looking over at me.

“It’s true; I did all of the jumps. Now I admit that we cheated on a couple by using pads to land on and on the jump from the roof to the top of the semi truck, well we had a little trampoline thingy that we used to give me the distance, but there wasn’t any stunt double.”

“All I can say is that’s really amazing. Ellen told me that you do Parkour but I never realized that it was at this level. Are there any plans to do more commercials?”

“I don’t know yet, but there’s no way I can do one until I get back into shape.”

“You know, I’m going to have to check out the ‘Hollywood’ sign when I go back to school. I never realized you could get up on top of it.”

Giggling, I say, “You can’t. That’s Hollywood’s version of the ‘Hollywood’ sign. All of that last part was done in a studio against what they call a ‘green screen.’ I think the real sign is actually more like a billboard than three-d letters.”

“Oh, that makes sense. It would be cool if they were like your commercial, though.”

* * *

I finish up brushing my teeth and give myself a final look in the mirror. Dang, I sure wish wasn’t so bruised up. Taking a deep breath, I go back into my bedroom.

Robbyn’s already in the bed and when I come in she pats the space next to her.

Sitting on the bed facing her, I say, “You know, it probably isn’t a good idea for you to sleep with me. I’m having nightmares every night and that’s how Mom got her black eyes. She tried to wake me from one and before I knew it I clocked her. I don’t want to do that to you, too.”

“Why don’t we see how things go? If it gets too bad, well I’ll just sleep wearing a hockey mask.”

We giggle a bit over the thought.

“Seriously though,” she continues, “all I want to do is just hold you. Who knows, maybe it’ll help.”

“I’d love that, but that’s another thing. Since being back, I really can’t stand being touched. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I want it either. Someone touches me or hugs me and my skin literally crawls and it’s like I’m suddenly super-claustrophobic.”

I get up and grab the box of tissue. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a long night. I wipe my eyes and blow my nose and sit back down.

“Ouch. Damn that still hurts.”

“Alex, I never want to cause you pain. You don’t have to tell me anything if it will. All I want to do is help you and be here for you.”

I lean over and give Robbyn a kiss.

“No, you need to know what happened. I need to tell you–not only for your sake but for mine as well.”

So for the next hour I tell her everything that’s happened to me. By the end we both are sobbing and going through tissue like we own stock in the company that makes the stuff.

“Oh, Alex, how did you stand it? Oh, Alex…”

We’re holding each other and crying.

After we’ve both calmed down a bit I point to where her hand is resting on my leg and say, “Look, that’s part of what I was telling you.”

Where her hand is resting, you can see the muscle of my leg twitch.

“There’s no physical reason that should be happening, at least none they can find. According to the doctors, it’s purely psychological although there is some speculation that it’s a result of getting stunned practically every day for a month.

“We’re all hoping that it is psychological. That would be easier to fix than actual nerve damage.”

“Like what happened to your face?”

“Yeah, although that has been getting better. When I was first found, they had concerns that I might have had a stroke because the right side was so bad. Between the daily trauma and the swelling that resulted from it, there wasn’t much on the right side that worked well if at all, but we’re hoping that it’s all temporary.

“Like I said, it does look good right now. I can blink my eye in time with the other eye and there is only a slight delay on the right side of my mouth when I smile. There is also about a quarter-sized spot on my cheek that has no feeling. We’ll see how it goes.”

“My god, Alex. I don’t know how you did it. I think I would have just curled up and died.”

“Well I did make it and that’s all behind me, well for the most part at least. Now are you sure you want to chance being in the same bed with me? I really wasn’t kidding when I said I get nightmares.”

“I’m sure, but if it gets too bad for you, you tell me. I can always sleep in the guest room.”

We turn out the lights and get under the covers. I’m spooned into Robbyn’s front, her arm draped lightly across my hip.

My muscles twitch, but not as badly as they have before, so I have some hope that this will work. Unfortunately, it isn’t long before the ol’ panic attack feelings start to build. I fight them as much as possible but I just can’t stand it.

It’s been about a half an hour and Robbyn is asleep when I finally slide out of bed. Slipping on my robe, I go downstairs.

Mom and Dad are in the family room watching the news when I come in and plop down on the couch next them.

“Hey, sweetheart,” says Mom, “I thought you and Robbyn had gone to bed.”

With a heavy sigh I respond, “We had. I’m just too worked up.”

“What’s wrong?”

“What isn’t? We cuddle and I start vibrating like a tuning fork. I begin getting a panic attack and I’m scared to death that I’m going to beat up my girlfriend in my sleep. Robbyn insists though on trying to help but I just don’t want to hurt her.”

“If you really can’t stand having her in bed, then don’t. There’s a perfectly good guest bed available. But if you don’t want her in bed because you’re afraid you’ll hurt her, then I think you need to let her. She’s a big girl and knows what can happen and there has only been that one time that you hit anyone. Since then you’ve been really good.”

“Mom, that’s because no one has gotten close to me during my nightmares. Robbyn is in the same bed with me.”

“True and if you really don’t want to do this then don’t, but I think that if your only concern is your nightmares, then maybe you should give it a try.”

“Thanks, Mom, I guess we can try it for tonight. Night, Mom. Night, Dad.”

So I give it a try and wake up screaming at about three in the morning.

“Alex, shhh, Alex it’s okay, you’re safe. It’s me, Robbyn.”

I finally break far enough out of the nightmare to realize it’s just a dream. Burying my face into Robbyn’s shoulder, I cry.

“Shh, it’s okay, Alex, you’re safe now. It was just a dream, you’re all right now.”

Eventually I calm down enough and pull away.

“Are you okay? Did I hit you?”

“I’m fine and you didn’t hit me. That’s kinda hard to do when I’m so close to your back. You were flailing around a bit, but not too bad.”

“Oh I’m sorry, Robbyn.”

“Hey, don’t be. Now wipe your eyes and blow your nose and let’s try this again.”

So I do just that and three hours later another nightmare wakes us.

For the next three nights we keep trying and there’s no noticeable improvement except in one area. We do find out that Robbyn singing to me eases things, not completely but some.

The panic attacks really don’t ease and the next Monday night I’m just too wound up.

“Robbyn, I-I don’t know if I can do this again. I hate how I feel but I just can’t help it. When you’re pressed into my back and have your arm around me, it just freaks me out. I’m so sorry, it’s not you.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been thinking about this and I’d like to try something different. You say you can’t stand being held. Well how about this? Let’s flip, you snuggle into me and hold me. We haven’t tried that and you said that when you hold your bear you don’t freak out. It’s worth a try at least.”

Sighing I say, “Yeah, I guess it’s worth a try.”

“Okay then, I’m going to finish getting ready for bed. You crawl in and get comfy, I’ll be right there.”

I get into bed and about five minutes later, Robbyn comes out of the bathroom. At the look on my face she just smiles.

“You like?”

I just nod my head.

“Well, I figured that if I was going to play the part of your bear, I should at least be a ‘teddie’ bear.”

Robbyn is posing at the side of the bed, wearing an almost transparent aqua teddie. At her comment I start to snicker. Soon both of us are laughing until tears are running down our cheeks.

“Oh, Robbyn Anderson, I love you. Now get in here.”

Crawling into bed she gives me a kiss then turns and snuggles into my front.

“Do you like?”

“Like? I love it. Where did you get it?”

“I picked it up when I knew I was coming back out here. I didn’t know if I’d wear it or not and almost didn’t bring it. Now I’m glad I did.”

“Me too. Okay ‘teddie’ bear, let’s see if this is going to work.”

I pull Robbyn closer, wrap my arm around her waist and nuzzle my face into the back of her neck. Her hair smells like a field of flowers and soon I’m drifting off to sleep.

At about four in the morning, I am again awakened by a nightmare. The difference this time is I’m not screaming, I’m whimpering instead and shaking like a leaf but I’m not screaming.

Robbyn softly sings and before I’m fully awake, I drift off to sleep again.

* * *

Morning comes and I slowly wake up. Things feel differently and as I think about it I can tell why. I feel more rested this morning than I have since I first came home. I remember waking up last night from another nightmare but it wasn’t nearly as bad. There was another nightmare as well, but it seemed to go away shortly after starting.

The next thing I notice is my arm wrapped around Robbyn. It’s twitching a little bit, but nothing like it has before; I also don’t have that overwhelming sense of claustrophobia.

The relief brings tears to my eyes. Maybe I’m not as broken as I thought I was. I tighten my grip around Robbyn, hugging her closer to me.

Robbyn stirs and turns and opens her eyes. Her smile lights up my morning.

“Good morning, you. Last night seemed to go better. Did it?”

“Oh yes. Robbyn, it worked. I mean, I still had nightmares but they weren’t as bad and with me holding you, I didn’t freak out!”

Hugging me, Robbyn says, “Oh, Alex, that’s wonderful.”

After a few seconds being wrapped up in her arms, panic starts to build. But maybe, just maybe not quite as bad. It’s hard to tell.

Pulling away I say, “Okay, maybe not a full cure but, oh, Robbyn it worked!”

We get up and dress then rush downstairs to tell Mom and Dad. I also can’t wait to tell Amanda at our appointment today. I’m feeling so great I almost float downstairs.

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Comments

It upsets me

Extravagance's picture

to think that Alex and Robbyn are unable to embrace each other or sleep together properly. = (
I hope things get better soon.

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Overcoming problems

I'm constantly amazed at how fortunate Alex is to have a friend like Robbyn, and such a supportive family.

Thanks, Connie. I like the way that Robbyn and Alex found a potential solution to some of the PTSD problems.

Protective Strengths


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Protective Strengths

I think I like that one best right now of all the ones I've seen you do. ^__^

Connie, thank you so much for this one!

-Liz

Successor to the LToC

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

Catwalk Confidence - Part 48

Love the reunions.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Baby steps

Recovering from such brutal trauma take a lot of time patience and love on the the part of the caregivers. It's hard. Sometimes it's the old two step forward and one back deal but it does get better. It's so good that Alex's loved ones has all of those things in abundance.
Wonderful story.

Hugs!
Grover

One step at a time

Renee_Heart2's picture

I'm gald that Robbin came out & that Elin suprised Alix with her gf, of course Alix Surpised Elin with her bf so... they helped each other out on that part. Alix Finley got to see her comercial that was good Jack was suprised that all Alix's stunts were done by her lol that was great.

I'm glad the Robbin is there for Alix. Alix Really needs her right now & I'm glad that Alix told Robbin the whole story Robbin DID need to hear it so she can help Alix. They tried sleeping together the regular way & that didn't work. I liked what Robbin came up with when Alix told her she couldn't stand being snugled up to so they reversed roals. That seamed to work better & apparntly Robbin has a natural ablity to put peole at ease just by isnging to them she would be a GREAT mother some day even if she is a Lesbian.

I did have a feeling that Robbin would be moving to California conidering the Robbin wants to go to Stanford University makes sence & then she & Alix can be together all the time.
Love Samantha Renee Heart

Love Samantha Renee Heart

I wonder

How would Alex react to Robbyn playing with her hair and singing? It would be such a cute scene, I guess. :)

Faraway


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Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Thank you still for this ...

... beautiful story. I am totally hooked on this and am glad to see Robbyn come to help heal Alex.

"The Cost of Living Does Not Appear To Have Affected Its Popularity"
in most, but not all, instances

"The Cost of Living Does Not Appear To Have Affected Its Popularity"in most, but not all, instances

Another step forward

Another great chapter, Connie.

It's nice to see Alex take another step forward in her recovery. I hope that she continues to move forward without taking too many steps back. She really deserves to have some good in her life now.

Can't wait for more.

Hugs,
Megan

Enjoying this story! The

Enjoying this story! The kidnapping chapter was just
too dark for me and had to skip it..
It's getting better again. : )

alissa