The Trial of The Phoenix

It was another typical day in Warren Worthington High School for Jean Grey, insofar as she was hiding in the library, confronting one of downsides of being transformed into a teenage girl. Today, it wasn't her period, which was still a horrible experience, nor was it the occasional glances of lust she still got from boys. It wasn't even her struggles with the fact that she now lusted back.   Today, it was just her frustration with discovery that girls could be every bit as nasty to each other as boys. If she had been born a girl, she might have developed the special social skills to fit in, but as it was, her awkwardness was a serious drawback. Plus, being pretty turned out to be a handicap. Other girls saw her as a threat, and acted accordingly.

As a result, she found herself an outsider, and had retreated to the places where outsiders went. Between that decision, and the fact that she now downplayed her looks as much as she could, at firmly established her reputation as a “geek”. She tried to focus on the positive, including discovering that many of her fellow “geeks” were nice, if rather awkward people. The big trouble with that line of thought was remembering that most of them were males. And despite her trying to hide her beauty, she could see their brains short-circuiting at the idea of a pretty girl actually talking to them. The result was occasional she had to get away from even them, and did what she was doing today, and was hiding in the library, using books as bricks in a wall between her and the world.

This might have worked, except she wasn't alone in her head, and had to deal with the alien presence of the Phoenix. The Phoenix was hungry for experience,   and was always nudging her to get out and spend time socializing, But the few times she had given in had resulted in disaster, and the Phoenix was no better at handling the rejection and the hurt than she was.

She recalled her male life, and remembered well what had saved her from being a “geek” then. It was when she started dreaming of being an astronaut. A visit to “space camp” had given her a powerful lesson. It was that there were two very distinct groups in the space program. There were the astronauts, who got to go up into space, and the science geeks, who didn't. And since she had desperately wanted to be the former, she spent time working out, and focused on the skills that would make that possible. Along the way she had a growth spurt, and her growing strength had led to her having more confidence.

Although at the time she would not have been able to admit it, it was also a way to try and fight against her desire to be a girl. Unconsciously, she was trying to “man up”, to prove to herself that her need for the feminine was not true, not real.

Plus, there was the meta-gene, and the complications that had brought into her life. She still found the fact she could move things with her mind, and read the thoughts of others as intimidating. At first, she considered fighting crime, rescuing people, reveling in her abilities, but always found reasons not to. She faded from the pubic eye very quickly, as newer, more flashy heroes took the headlines, and she finally realized how relieved that made her. Yes, she had access to incredible powers from the Phoenix, but she found that more frightening than reassuring, and so tried to resist any temptation to call on it.

Then there was the whole thing with Dolores. When word of her kidnapping had gone out, she considered going to Jade or Megan and offering to use her telepathy to help find her. But the prospect of feeling the pain of a whole city terrified her, and so she sat on the sidelines. As a result, Dolores had died, and she still struggled with guilt as a result. The conversation she and Jade had right after Dolores' funeral had helped, but it still stung.

Jade had even given her a copy of the song the Phoenix made in the heart of the sun, and she listened to it constantly, but it only soothed so much. Then, the bell rang, and she had to cut short her self-pity session, and head back to class.

Not that class was a joy either. She had made the mistake of showing of her knowledge the first week she was in the school, only to find out people were less than impressed, and it became one more reason to reject her. Worse, the teachers had tried to “encourage” her, and too late she realized she was drawing attention to herself. She became afraid that someone might wonder where she got her knowledge from, and it would spoil everything. So she no longer put her hand up in class, and tried to make deliberate mistakes on her papers. But the teachers kept calling on her, trying to work with her, and it only further isolated her.

Not for the first time, she regretted not going to the same school as Terra. At the time, it made sense to her, to help establish herself on her own, and the government had agreed. Now, she wondered what the heck she had been thinking. They shared the odd e-mail, but otherwise didn’t talk much.   

After her class, she was called into the office of the school councilor. Meetings with the woman were a exercise in acting. She grunted and shrugged, and looked at the floor, and felt sure the woman thought her a very typical teen.   The downside was she wasn't getting better, and she knew it.

After school, she dragged her way “home” That was another issue in her life. The government had agreed to provide her with a legal identity, but the price was they also provided her with a “parent” who acted as her guardian, in more than one sense of the word.   

Not that the woman assigned to pose as her mother wasn't nice. She was about as good a person as you could possibly expect, especially considering she was a military intelligence officer. But her job was the part that bothered Jean. She felt that if the woman had to choose between Jean and her superiors, she wouldn't choose Jean, and that made it hard to trust her, especially with the kind of emotional struggles she was facing. Last thing she needed was a report calling her emotionally unstable. She would lose the little bit of freedom she had.

Not for the first time, she wondered what the woman DID during the day, while Jean was in school. Did she have a family, friends, a life she had put on hold to act as a babysitter to one of the world's most powerful metas? She called herself “Sara”, but was that her real name? Jean could try and read the woman's mind, but she refused. She did not like using her telepathy very much, and even less wanted to use it on someone who had not given permission.

Feeling miserable, she sat at the dinner table that evening, pushing her food around and staying silent. Eventually, she went to her room, made a weak attempt to do homework, and eventually gave up and went to bed. Laying there, she found herself wishing the Phoenix had not saved her. Sure, she would be dead, but she didn't feel like she was really living now. Not even caring if her “mother” heard her or not, she cried herself to sleep,

Despite what Jean thought, she was less alone than she believed, and her torment had not gone unnoticed. Within her mind the Phoenix resided, and it “loved” Jean, in her own way. It would be hard to put it her thoughts into words, but if one imagined a dog, seeing it's master in great distress and coming over to lick his face, that might be close. The Phoenix could sense the pain and growing depression, but could not truly understand it, nor know what to do to alleviate it. So she enveloped Jean's mind in a warm embrace, and gave what comfort her meager understanding of humans allowed.

The next morning, that comfort gave Jean enough energy to go to school again. The old saying “this too, shall pass” came into her head, and sustained her as she navigated the day. But   this small lightening of her mood hadn't solved her problems. To make things worse, during her spare period, she received a message from Jade saying she was having to go to Oa, the home of the Green Lantern Corps, and didn’t know when she would be back. It left Jean feeling like she didn’t have a friend in the world, and she felt her heart drying out inside her. Needing privacy, she went to the library to read, or more accurately, hide.

She was listening to her download of the song of the Phoenix when she felt a tap on her shoulder, causing her to jump. Turning around, she saw   Scott, one of the other “geeks” in the school. Unlike many of them, he was actually rather handsome, except the thick glasses he wore. They had a lot in common, because like her, he was a new transfer student, and gravitated to the “geek” group almost immediately.

He smiled, and sat beside her. “I.. I have noticed you haven't looked well the last couple of weeks.”

'I guess I haven't been feeling all that well. Showed, huh?”

“Afraid so. Anything I could do to help?”

For no reason Jean could think of, something Jade had said when she had considered leaving Earth came to mind.

“Even if this is all there is, even if there is nothing out there, I would say it is   up to us to make our lives count for something. And I know what I want mine to count for. And it includes helping my friends. How about you?”

With that thought in mind, she looked at Scott again, and replayed how he had behaved since he had arrived. She came to a surprising conclusion. He had looked uncomfortable in his own skin, just like she had struggled with how to move like a girl at first. Was it possible he was really like her, except coming from the other way?

Very gently, she probed his mind. The answer was... Yes.

She looked at him with compassion, and said, “Scott? We...we need to talk. I think I have something to tell you. Do you mind if we go somewhere... private? After school?”

“All right. I... I will see you then.”

And his immediate trust of her warmed her heart.

After school was over, she met him, and together they walked to a small play park near the school. They sat on the swings in silence for a moment, and then, Jean took a breath, and spoke.

“I have...I have something to tell you Scott. It is a secret, so I am taking a risk in telling you. I am a meta human, like the ones in the news. And among other things, I... I am telepathic.”

He looked at her sharply.

“I.. I don't like to 'eavesdrop' on people. But I saw something in you, something like me. So I am going to tell you things about me, to make up for that. I...when my meta gene kicked in, I... I changed sex. I … I had been a boy, well, actually a man. And then suddenly, I was a teenage girl” She stopped, and looked down at her hands as she fidgeted.

“I … I believe you. I mean... Oh God, I thought I was the only one” his voice broke, and he cried.

She got off the swing, and went to him. She pulled him gently up, and hugged him.

“It will be okay. Tell me how it happened to you”

“Didn't you.. didn't read my mind? Don't you already know?”

“No. I sensed your discomfort in your gender, and wondered. I probed only deep enough to tell you had not always been a boy, and pulled out. I … I am sorry for violating your privacy even that much. Its...its just I have been alone too. And its....easier to have someone to talk to.”

They went to a bench, and sat down together, and Scott took a breath, and spoke.

“I.. I was walking to work one day. A car went out of control, and I froze. I was just about to die, when this... energy, this force came out of me and knocked the car aside. I staggered away, and felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I couldn't breathe, and fell down in an alley. The force, the energy that had come out was still in me, and my body felt like it was going to explode. I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew, I … I looked like this.”

She held his hand, and let him continue.

“I don't know how long I had laid there, everything hurt, but I couldn't go for help, especially once I saw my own reflection. I … my office had a pretty formal dress code, so I had been wearing a dress and everything when it happened. One look at me in a old, cracked mirror someone had thrown out and well, I looked like a cross dresser. My only thought was to go home. I look after my mom, she is starting to have memory trouble, but I just wanted to be held by her. I got home, and let myself in. Beth, the nurse who helped me take care of her was making her some lunch, and she was sitting in the living room, like she always did. She took one look at me and called me Scott, and got after me for dressing like a girl.”

“Why did she call you Scott?”

“I had.. I had a younger brother named Scott. He died two years ago, and I guess she thought I was him. He....he had been hit by a car, and I... I think that’s why I look like him. Because I was thinking about him when I thought I was about to die.”

“Wow. I... I am sorry about your brother.”

“Than....thank you. And I think... I think I can use looking like him, in a way. I can pay tribute to him.”

“Are you okay? Can you finish the story?’

“Yes...It actually feels good to get it out. Anyway, she had kept his clothes and made me change into them. I didn't really object, I was still in shock. Once I was wearing his clothes, I saw how much I look like him. Then, the nurse came in to see what my mother was going on about, and saw me. It.. it took a lot of talking by me to convince her that I wasn't some crazy boy looking to steal something. For a while, I was convinced she would kick me out, call the police, and I would be homeless, not even having an identity”

“But you were able to convince her”
“Yes. And it turned out she knew a bit about computers, and was able to fudge an identity for me based on my brother. So not having a better idea, I 'transferred' to this school. At first, I thought being a guy might be fun. Guys get listened to by teachers, treated a little better. But I had no idea how guys treated each other. Because I slipped up, and acted like a girl, I was ostracized when I wasn't being knocked down. And I found out why guys struggle with … arousal.” He blushed.

“I think I know what you mean So then what?”

“I started hiding. And that’s when I noticed you. You....you are a pretty girl, and I couldn't understand why you weren't more popular. And then you started acting like you lost your best friend, and it seemed like it was getting worse. I was actually debating giving you the number for the teen suicide hot line. So that's why I approached you today.”

“You're right. I was just about at the end of my rope when you showed up. It has been so hard, especially lately.”

“Can you talk about it?”

“I think I have to. But promise me you won't tell anybody, and I mean anybody.”

“I have just told you I was a girl, what could be worse than that?”

“Its....its not worse. Its just not only my secret. Please.”

“I give you my word.”

“Thank you. See, you know of Jade? The Green Lantern girl?”

“Sure, who doesn't”

“Well, she knows me. In fact she helped me when I transformed, We have talked a couple times since, and she gave me this.” She showed Scott her Green Lantern ring.

“Wow. Does it work like hers?”

“No. It allows me to communicate with her, or any other meta wearing one. It would generate a costume to wear if I wanted to be a   hero, if I needed one. That's about it.”

“You don't want to be a hero?”

“I.. I am not worthy of being one. The last time my powers might have really been useful, I... I was too scared to even try and help. And someone died because of that.”

She cried, and their roles reversed, and he held her.

“Thanks. I … I needed that. But what about your power?”

“Its.. hard to explain. Its like there is this force in me, and I can direct it outward.”

“Like telekinesis? “

“Well, I cant actually manipulate things. Its just like a blast of force A pretty powerful one, I think. The real hard part is actually holding it in. These old glasses that had been my brothers seem to help, I don’t know why.”

“I guess that is something we can try and solve later.”

“Okay. But you really haven’t told me how you transformed.”

For the next few minutes Jean recounted how she been about to die when the Phoenix merged with her. While she talked, Scott held her hand, and that was both comforting and odd. Comforting, because she hadn’t realized how much she had missed simple human contact, and it felt good. Odd, because she felt a tingle over her body from his touch. She was still getting used to the idea of being attracted to boys, but for once, she deliberately refused to berate herself for it.

“Okay. So I LIKE him like him. I don’t even know if he likes girls.   Just this once, I... I would like to see what happens if I just.... let it be what it is, without fearing it.”

After she had finished, he switched the conversation to more innocuous topics like school for a while, until Jean looked at her watch, and went, “Oh, my. I am really late. I have to get home.”

“Okay. Me too.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

With that, he gave her a quick hug. It lead to a rather awkward moment when she felt something hard against her thigh, and he turned a deep red, and broke the embrace. “Sorry”, he said.

“Its... okay. I know what it was like for me, and well, I guess its a compliment, if you think about it.”

He was still red and stammering when she headed off. She peeked behind her to see him finally gather himself, and head in a different direction.

She practically skipped through her door, and actually gave Sara a hug. Jean helped make dinner, and ate a large portion, and after helped clean up, singing while she did it.

“My goodness. You are in a better mood. Oh. I think I have seen that expression on my face a time or two. You met someone, didn’t you?”

Jean blushed.

“Should I ask if it was a boy or a girl? Its okay with me, either way. It is... nice to see you happy again.”

Jean looked at her, and said, “Thank you. I know the government is concerned about what I could do, and I am an ‘assignment’ to you. but I believe you mean that.”

“I do mean it. Yes, the government is concerned, and if you think about it, it isn’t unreasonable. Not only do you have enormous potential, there is the question of the Phoenix itself. It is so alien, we had no way to be sure of what its intentions were, or if it even understood humans enough to not hurt us by accident. But whatever the Phoenix is, you are... just a very nice young woman. And...I have grown fond of you. I have been very worried the last while,so worried I agonized about getting you professional help. Except I didn’t want them to lock you away somewhere out of fear that you might have a breakdown and go rogue. So, yes, I am very happy to see you smiling.”

“Thanks.”

“You are welcome. Now dish! Who is he or she, and what are they like?”

“His name is Scott. And I think I am in love. That sounds a little weird, because I just met him, and well, he is a he, if you know what i mean. I am still getting used to …. having feelings about boys.”

“Hon, you may not have always been female, much less a teenage girl. But as someone who was one once upon a time, it sounds as normal and healthy as you could hope for. Its not the end of the world to have feelings for males, you know. Boys can be....kinda fun, even though you have to be careful.with them.”

“I know. I decided to let myself feel what I feel, and try not to worry about what that makes me.”

“Sounds like a plan. Maybe you could bring him around, and let me meet him and see what he is like. Not as a government agent, but as someone who cares about you. You are still getting used to all those female hormones sloshing around in your body, so I would like to know that your first boyfriend is a nice guy.”

“Okay, but could you keep his name and stuff from your bosses?”

“That might be hard to do. If I say you are feeling better,   they are bound to ask why, and wonder if I don’t go into detail. But why Jean? They would be happy too, if only because a happy Phoenix is a less dangerous one.”

“I guess that makes sense. Its just...well, he is like me. A meta. And he wasn’t always a boy, either But unlike me, he hasn’t had government help getting an ID and I don’t know if what he has would pass a serious inspection.”

“Hon, you need to talk to him, and get him to come forward. If he made a fake ID, he is guilty of fraud, and that could get him jailed, or worse. “

“Do you think they would help him, you know, for me?”

“I think I can twist the right arms to make that happen.”

“Thanks, thanks a lot.”

“Glad I could help. And I am really happy for you.”

Like many of the nights leading up to that night, Jean found it difficult to sleep. The difference being that while before it had been because she was hurting, tonight, it was because she was excited, and happy.   She finally fell asleep, dreaming of spending time with Scot. Her dreams where not entirely erotic, but there was definitely an element of physical attraction to them. But now, she didn't t mind that element at all.

The next morning, Jean ate a big breakfast, and piratically skipped to school. Sh felt as giddy as any young woman in love had ever been, and the fact she had only recently become one didn’t matter at all. When she got to school, she saw him waiting for her at the door, and she ran to him and threw her arms around him.

They went inside, and sat in the cafeteria. Jean excitedly told him about what Sara had told her. “She is willing to go get you a legal ID, isn’t that wonderful?”

He looked shocked, and said, “You... told her? Everything?”

The realization hit her. “Oh, God, Scott. I.. was so excited, and so happy, I … I didn’t think.”

He got up, looking like he was struggling to remain calm. “I … I have to go to class.”

She got up, trying to touch him, but he shrugged her off, and walked away. Behind him, Jean wept openly.

The rest of the morning Jean was utterly miserable. She couldn’t concentrate, and felt sick to her stomach.   Her mind ran around in a circle, repeating “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I did that. I just found him and I am going to lose him...” over and over again.

They shared several classes in the morning, but he was across the room, and didn’t even look at her. She tried to find him to talk to him during her spare period, but she couldn’t. She looked in the library, the drama room, even the chess club room, and nothing.   By the time the bell rang she was feeling worse than she had even the day before. After the next class, it was lunchtime, and she went outside rather than eat. she sat down at the doors, looked across the school field to the park where they had talked yesterday, and wept, and wept.

Finally, she felt like she could cry no more, and went back inside. She felt like she had only one more chance to talk with him. They didn’t share any classes in the afternoon, so her only shot was after school. Trying to get through the afternoon in the meantime was very hard, however. She tried to remember her past as John, had she ever felt like this? And as best as she could recall, the answer was no. This was entirely new ground for her, and she felt very lost, not knowing how to get through it.

At the end of the day, she went as fast as she could to the exit closest to his way home, hoping to catch him before he left. She waited, and saw him come out, and came up to him. “Scott, please. Talk to me. Yell at me, I deserve it. But don’t shut me out. I ...I just got so excited...”

But he simply walked faster. She could feel the hurt of her betrayal radiating from him, and felt like it was hopeless. She sadly turned away, and went her own way home.

When Scott got to his house, He greeted his mother and Beth, and helped make supper. After supper, he talked with Beth, telling her some of what happened.

“I can’t believe she told this woman all about me!”   Suddenly, he was crying. He had only really realized how lonely he had been since his transformation once she had come into his life. Just then, his mother came into the room, and saw him with tears in his eyes.

“Scott? Sweetie, you ok?”

He wiped the tears from his face, and said, “No, Mom. I guess I am not.”

“Girl trouble, isnt it?”

“How did you guess?”

“Just about the only thing short of a death in the family that brings the tears out like that. She did something wrong?”

“Yes, Mom, she did”

“Well, only one thing to think about, son. Is she worth giving a second chance to? Are you better with her, or without?”

He looked at his mother in shock. “I... I dont know right now. I think I need to sleep on it.”

He went to his room, laid down, and tried to rest. But the image of Jean crying as he walked away haunted him. He remembered the last couple of days, of seeing her in the halls, looking worse and worse every time he saw her. He thought of her as a bright, beautiful star, and her obvious loneliness was dimming that beauty, to the point he had been scared for her.   His desire to get payback for what she had done fought against the compassion he had felt for her then. He tossed and turned without sleeping for most of the night.

The next morning, he was still debating what to do. During breakfast, his mother said, “The Good Book says to forgive your enemies. Don’t you think that applies even more to someone you care about?”

He went to school, trying to argue with his own conscience over the need to forgive her. They shared the first class of the day together, so he peeked to where her chair was when he came in the room. She wasn’t there. Nor was she in the next class they normally shared, or the next. During his spare, he found a couple of her other classmates, and asked if they had seen her.

“No. Nobody has seen or heard from her.” one said.

The rest of the day he fought against panic. Any hurt he felt was washed away in the concern for her well-being. “If she has hurt herself because I was too full of pride to forgive … How will I live with myself?”   He thought.

Once school let out, he raced to her house. They had exchanged addresses on that first day, so he knew where to go. He reached her house, rang the bell, and waited.

A middle-aged woman answered. “Yes?”

“Is Jean... is she okay? Can I talk to her?”

“You must be the boy she has been crying about. She stayed home today, and has not really left her room all day.”

“I’m Scott. And you must be her mother. Please. Its important. Let me talk to her.”

“Call me Sara, Come in., maybe you can help her.”

They went inside, and Sara knocked on Jean’s door. “Jean? There is someone to see you.”

“Tell whoever it is to go away.”

“Jean? Its Scott. Please open the door. I... I am sorry. Please talk to me.”

He heard the door unlock, and Jean peeked out. “Scott!” She said, and flung open the door all the way.

She started speaking quickly “I’m sorry Scott I blew it, I was stupid, and I don’t blame you mmmft!”

She stopped being able to speak, and immediately she realized why. He was kissing her. And then she was kissing him back. She felt like they had kissed for weeks when she heard her mother clear her throat.   They then broke the kiss, and both of them blushed.

Scott took Jean’s hand, and they went to the living room. “Sorry, Jean. I.. I just wanted to stop you from putting yourself down. I … I forgive you. And I hope you can forgive me for not talking to you,.”

“Of course. I am so glad I didn’t drive you away permanently.”

“I am glad I figured out in time I am better off with you than without you.”

The two teens were getting ready to kiss again, when Sara said “Kids, it’s is almost suppertime. Perhaps Scott here should call someone to let them know he is okay?”

Both teens blushed, and Scott said “I will call Beth, but I should go home. Mom may not understand, and will get worried. Jean, can I tell Beth about you? I mean the whole truth?”

“Yes, Scott. Since I slipped up and told Sara, tell her. I imagine you are going to need to have somebody to share with. But ask her to keep it to herself, okay?”

“I will. But I really should get going.”

Go. I will see you at school tomorrow.”

“One moment, young man”

“Yes?”

“Jean told me you have done something foolish and illegal in setting up your new identity.”

Scott looked at the floor. “Yes, Ma'am. In my defense, I didn’t know I had any other options.”

“Well, I made a promise to Jean. If you will let me, I can lobby to get you a legitimate ID. If you decide you don’t want that help, I will not turn you in, but understand someone will find out, and you will go to jail.”

“I...I would really appreciate any help you can give me.”

“I will see what I can do tomorrow. Now, make that call.”

After a quick call on his cell, Scott went to the door, followed by Jean. “I will see you tomorrow, Jean.”

“See you tomorrow Scott.”

Scott left, and after closing the door, Jean wobbled her way to a chair. “Sara, what’s wrong with me? I am acting like....”

“Like a teenage girl in love?”

“Yeh. I am not sure which part of that wierds me out the most.”

“Jean, I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like to go from being an full-grown man to a teen girl. But you are a remarkable person, and if anybody could make that transition work, you will.”

“Thanks Sara. I am sorry I had trouble trusting you. You have been a good friend, and I could have used that earlier.”

“I don’t blame you for having trouble trusting me. But I am glad I am your friend now. I can imagine it’s going to be hard for you to think straight right now. But you are going to have to call on the maturity you had before. Because you are going to have to be careful in a way you didn’t have to as a boy, and I think you know what I mean.”

Jean turned red, and said, “I...I am definitely not ready for THAT.”

“Jean, if I hadn’t stepped in, you would be halfway to THAT right now. Your brain might not be ready, but your body sure is.”

“That’s something I don’t understand. How could my orientation change?”

“Well, I have some ideas. First, more than your body was re-shaped. Your brain was too, and who knows how that is affecting you?”

“That is possible, I guess.”

“Plus, how would you have felt if you had ever thought of boys that way before?”

“I guess I would have been repulsed by the idea. It was hard enough dealing with wanting to be a girl sometimes.”

“Then its possible you had some thoughts that way, but rejected them so thoroughly that you forgot them. Now that it’s ‘okay’ as a girl to feel that way, they are coming out.”

“It’s still pretty weird though.”

“Weird or not, you have to deal with it. And you told me when you first mentioned Scott that you were trying to relax and let it be what it is. That is good, but you are going to have to have some self-control too.”

“Thanks. I will try.”

“I know you can do it. Now, let’s eat!”

Laughing, the two women went to the pantry to pull together supper.

Meanwhile, Scott raced home. He met Beth at the door, and told her what had happened, including the truth about Jean.   While they were talking, his mother came in, and asked, “Made up with your girl, did you ?”

“Yes, mom.”

“Good. Now, I don’t suppose I need to talk to you about the birds and the bees.”

Scott flushed, and said, “Mom!”

“It is okay, Scott. I imagine having a man’s natural urges is a little uncomfortable for you to talk to your mother about. But I also hope you take it slow. No need to be a dad before you are ready for it.”

She then left the room, and Beth said, “She is more on the ball than you would think Scott. I wish we had a man around to help you navigate what being a man means.”

“I know. having that part of my body... react, it’s uncomfortable, and I am still not used to it.”

“From what you just told me, she might be going through much the same. But you were an adult, so you can manage to control yourself. The old days when a woman had to take responsibility for when sex happened, and what protection was taken, are gone. You are going to have to help her make sure nothing happens too soon, for both your sakes.”

“You are right. I will try. I … I want to take care of her, protect her. Even if that means I have protect her from me.”

“I am glad, Scott. It sounds to me like you are becoming a good man on your own. Your mom is proud of you, and.... well so am I.”

“Thanks. You have become much more than my mom’s nurse. I … I never would have made it this far without you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, what should we make for supper?”

“Let me ask Mom.”

******

The next day, the two met at school, they kissed for the second time, until Scot broke the kiss, and said, “We... we should be careful, Jean. Beth said we could let our bodies run ahead of ourselves if we don’t watch out.”

Jean looked away, and then said, “Sara said much the same thing. Not that I am finding that easy.”

“Me either.” he blushed.

“But we can do it, if we work together, right?”

“Right. Come on. We don’t want to be late for class.”

*****

The rest of the day both teens struggled to maintain concentration in classes, and found it hard. They also spent every minute they could together. But then, at the end of the day, they noticed something odd. People were acting weird, talking excitedly, and it confused both Jean and Scott. Scott escorted Jean home, and when they got there, Sara looked worried.

“Jean, Scott? Have you two been paying attention to the news today?”

“No. We have been...kinda distracted.”

“Well, you have to see this.” She pulled out her laptop, and loaded it up. “This is what happened today.”

They all sat down, and watched a video load. Jean looked at what came on the screen with shock. It showed Jade, fighting some strange creatures wielding yellow rings. The commentators made it seem like she had completely lost control, attacking and even killing these creatures.

“It.. it can’t be” Jean said.”It has to be some kind of fake. Jade...Jade wouldn’t do that.”

“I am sorry Jean. I got word from my bosses. Its true. In fact, they are issuing an arrest warrant for her.”

“I have to talk with her.” Jean pulled out her ring, and noticed it was now violet in colour. Jean tried to use it. “Jade? this is Jean. Are you okay? What’s going on?”

She got a message saying, “Jade is unavailable at this time....”

“What do we do Sara?”

“Can’t your ring reach one of the other heroes?”

“I should have thought of that. Let me try American Dream, or Terra”

An attempt to get a hold of Dream failed, but she was able to get Terra. “Terra, what’s going on?”

“Sorry Jean. things have gone to heck. I will try and fill you in later, I am trying to get permission to go to Jade’s ship. These..Star Sapphires are not exactly being cooperative. I will call you if I learn anything.”

“Thanks. I … I should have been helping you guys.”

“Its ok Jean. Just stay under the radar for now. We will figure this out” The connection broke.

Sara said, “That’s pretty good advice, Jean.It is probably the wrong time to draw attention to yourself.”

Jean sat down, and put her hands on her head ‘She is … one of the few friends I have. How do I just sit here?”

Scott   pulled her up to her feet, and hugged her. “It will be okay, Jean. It will be okay.”

Sara put a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “It will be Jean. Whatever happens, we will be there for you, and each other.”

“That’s right. Jean, I should go home. I will come over in the morning, okay?”

“O...Okay, Scott. Thanks.”

They hugged once more, and then Scott showed himself out. Once he was gone, Jean curled up on a couch, and Sara sat beside her.   After a while, Jean moved so that her   head was on Sara’s lap, and she closed her eyes. The last thing she knew before sleep took her was the feeling of Sara’s hand stroking her hair.

When she woke the next morning, Sara had covered her with a blanket, and she could smell eggs cooking from the kitchen. Yawning and stretching, she got up and went in to join Sara.

“How are you feeling this morning, Jean?”

“A bit better, I guess. I don’t understand why I am having such trouble controlling my emotions. I...I never had this much trouble as John.”

“Jean, you have been on a roller-coaster for the last week. Even a guy might have a lot of trouble keeping on an even keel though all that. I think you have handled it pretty darn well. I was half afraid you would fly off the handle and go to Jade yourself.”

“I...I thought about it. But, I figured I might end up doing more harm than good.”

“And that is exactly right, Jean. I was able to get a hold of my bosses. They are upset with what Jade did, naturally, but it hasn’t increased the negative feelings toward metas in general, at least not yet.   Dream could be in trouble for refusing to arrest her, but even there some are starting to realize that would not have worked out well.”

Just then, Jean’s ring vibrated. Activating it, Jean said, “Jade? Terra?”

“It’s Terra, Jean. Jade is … okay. She is going to set up on Mars, at least for now. I got one thing that might make you smile though.”

“I could use a smile, right about now.”

“These Star Sapphires? They are calling Jade ‘Your Majesty”

“Like....”

“Yes. Apparently, she is now their queen..“

Jean giggled, picturing Jade in a royal robe and crown.   “Thanks Terra. You okay?”

“I will be fine. I will check in later, if I hear any more, “

“Thanks again Terra. Take care.”

“You too.”   Terra broke the connection.

“I should call Scott, tell him what’s going on.”

She pulled out her regular cell, and called him. A quick update later, she pulled the phone from her ear, and said to Sara “Scott would like to come over this morning, if that’s okay.”

“Of course Jean. I think I would rather you guys here than somewhere else.”

Jean spoke into the phone “It’s okay Scott. Come over.”

Putting the phone away, Jean finished breakfast, and helped Sara clean up. After they finished putting everything away, Jean went into the living room. Flicking on the TV, she found the news just showing the attack over and over again, like people might forget it if they didn't repeat it every ten minutes. After realizing this, Jean switched channels to a science channel, and watched a show about the space station.

“I am surprised you are not watching music videos”

“I can’t take most of the stuff out there now. It seems so … well, I remember when my dad would say the music I liked was noise. That’s pretty much how I feel about most of what’s out there now. Plus, they seem very sexist. I guess that makes me an old fogy”

“Actually, I think that makes you a person of taste, but then, I am an old fogy myself.”

Jean giggled. “No way. John would have been tripping over his tongue to try and get a date with you.”

“Ewww. You are like my kid now....”

“That was JOHN. Me, … You are like my mom now.”

There was a knock at the door, and Jean got up, and opened it. “Hi, Scott.”

“Hi, Jean.”

The two teens went back to the living room, Sara was about to join them, when her phone rang. Excusing herself, she went back into the kitchen, while Scott and Jean watched the science channel. A few moments later, she came back in, and said, “John, I have some good news. My superiors said they can clear up the issue of your ID.”

“That’s great!”

“Not so fast. There is a string attached.”

“Uh oh....”

“Its not horrible. You have to come in, and have your powers checked.”

“I...I am not sure that’s a good idea, Sara.”

“Why not, Jean?”

“I have trouble trusting them, Sara. I … I am sorry, but I do.”

“Jean, you went through this test.”

“Yes, Sara. But two things are different. First, I had Dream there watching my back. Second thing, that was before I learned someone with government connections was trying to build a device that would turn someone into a total slave.”

“If you mean what happened to Dolores, that was not authorized.”

“Maybe not, but I think they would be happy to use it But fine. He can go. But I go with him.”

“Jean, please. They might not be bad guys, but that doesn’t mean you give them the keys to your car. I would like to keep you off their radar as much as possible.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Let me go with him. I will make sure they mind their ‘p’s and ‘q’s “

“Okay, Sara. I trust you. But tell them one thing when you take him in. Anything happens to him....and they will answer to the Phoenix.”   Her eyes blazed, and Sara stepped back.

“Jean, I will do everything I can to keep him safe.”

“How soon do they want this test to happen?”

“This evening.”

“That’s awfully fast, isn’t it?”

“Might be for the best. Get in, get it done, get out while they are still debating a response to what Jade did.”

“You are worried about what that response might be.”

“Of course I am. People are frightened by what they witnessed, and that’s not a condition that leads to clear thinking. I am hoping for the best, but being prepared for less than the best is prudent.”

“I guess you are right. Scott, it is your call. You want to go?”

“I have to, Jean. I can’t spend the rest of my life waiting for someone to catch on to the fact I am not the original Scott Summers. Eventually, someone would, and I would be in a lot more trouble than I am now. Besides, I am kinda curious as to what I am capable of doing myself.”

“Okay, Scott. Sara, I am scared, but I will trust you to see him safe.”

“I won’t let you down. We got several   hours before we would have to go,   Maybe we should watch a movie, or two?”

“Make it a super happy one, I think I need that right now.”

Sara went through their movie collection while Jean went to make some popcorn. Then Scott asked, “Sara, how long will these tests take?”

“Several hours, if Jean’s are any indication. You might even have to stay overnight.”

“Wow. Wait a minute, what am I going to do about my Mom and Beth?”

Jean came back in with popcorn, and said, “I have an idea. Maybe after this movie, rather than run another one, we go over to your place? Then, when its time for you to leave, I can stay and help Beth.”

“That is a great idea, Jean! My mom will love you, and Beth will be glad for the help.”

“I agree. Plus it would be a good idea for you to be with other people, and to have something to keep you occupied while we are gone.”

Knowing that they would want to have a decent amount of time with Beth and Scott’s mom, they picked a shorter film to watch. While the opening credits ran, Jean asked Scott, “Scott, you really haven’t talked about your life before you changed. I don’t even know what your name was then. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, but I would be honored if you would share it with me.”

“I...appreciate that Jean. Its just …. I felt like I couldn’t dare slip up. I had to think of myself as Scott, one hundred percent of the time, or someone might catch on to me.”

“I know what you mean. I did that, but I ended up feeling guilty. Like I was dishonoring the memory of my former life. I mean, there is actually a grave with my name on it.”

Scott put an arm around her. “That has to be hard.”

“Thanks. I guess I am trying to make the most of this second chance, and use that as the way I honor the person I was.”

“Sounds smart.”

“But you distracted me. What about you?”

“I... my birth name was Anne. And before you ask, on occasion, people have called me Buffy.”

Jean tried to suppress a giggle, and failed. “That must have been interesting.”

“Interesting is one word for it. I finally realized there are worse nicknames I could have. At least she was a strong woman.”

“Smart girl.”

“I guess. But the hardest thing is dealing with my mom. I mean, to her, I’m Scott, and that's okay.   But she almost never asks about Anne. Its like.... she has totally forgotten me.”

“I....I am sorry Scott. But maybe she got mixed up, and thinks Anne was the one who died?”

“I … I never thought of that. It could be why she never talks much about Anne.”

“Regardless, the fact is, she knows you are her child. I .. know people with that kind of confusion, who don’t even know that much. A child will come to visit, and they will think they are a stranger.”

“Yeh, That would have been hard for me.”

The two of then cuddled, and watched the movie, while Sara mostly let them enjoy being close. She sometimes catch Jean’s eye, and give her a wink, which always made the young woman blush. After the movie ended, the three of them prepared to leave. A few minutes later, the three of them left to walk to Scott’s house. On their way there, they passed a costume shop. With Halloween days away, a few temporary shops focusing on costumes had opened up, and they paused a moment to peek inside.

They noticed something almost right away. Last year, quickly made costumes based on   Jade had flooded the city. Everyone wanted to be Jade, even the boys, and Green Lantern rings, masks and uniforms flew off the shelves as quickly as they came in. Now, those costumes had already been marked down seriously since the incident over the skies of   Huston, and there were a pile of those costumes that had been returned. Jean shuddered. If this was the prevailing attitude, could Jade ever get back that public support? She found herself wishing Jade had come home and at least put her own case forward. As it was, no one knew her side, not even her friends and allies.

Scott squeezed her hand. and asked “You okay?”

“I am. I hope Jade is.” she whispered.

“Have faith. It will work out.” Sara said. She then pointed to a costume on the rack and added, “Jean, that one looks like your size. Want to try it on?”

“I am a little old for costumes.” She added in a whisper “That’s one reason why I am not a super-hero, remember?”

“But Jean, our school is having a Halloween dance, and I would like to take you.”

“Is that an offer for a date?”

“I guess it is. Will you go with me?”

“Yes, Scott. I will. I will even try on this costume. But I want to pick out yours.”

“Oh.... that doesn’t sound good...”

“That’s my price Scott. Yes, or no?”

“Okay, okay. Be gentle on your choice. And I want to see what this one looks on you now.”

“Deal.” She then took the outfit, and ran to a change room.

Scott shook his head. “I have a bad feeling as to what she is going to pick for me...”

“Jean wouldn’t embarrasses you Scott. But you might need a sense of humor about her choice, whatever it is.”

A few moments later, Jean came out. The costume was yellow, with black on the arms and legs, and had a black hood-like mask that covered her hair as well as the top of her face, and was actually attached to the costume. It was also very, very snug, and Scott found himself blushing at his reaction to her appearance.

“Wow. You look... amazing, Jean. What is the costume called?”

“The label said ‘Marvel Girl’. It...feels a little weird, to be honest.”

“Well, you look... amazing.”

“You said that.”

Scott blushed.

“Now Scott. I want you and Sara to keep busy for a bit. I want to pick yours out.”

Scott and Sara made themselves busy, while Jean took off. Sara caught Scott taking a peek at her backside as she walked away from them. He looked at her, and blushed.

“I guess I got caught.”

“I hardly blame you. I have meant to ask you how you are handling the more... intimate parts of being male.”

Scott blushed even redder. “It’s a little … difficult to talk about. It’s embarrassing, and well, I honestly don’t know anybody, male or female, who would really get how I feel.”

“I can’t claim I would understand how it would feel to have a male member between your legs. But I was thinking about being attracted to Jean.”

“Well ...I ... I liked girls, woman, even before I became Scott. Its just how that attraction …. manifests itself that is a new thing.”

“Well, if you need some advice, I will try and help. I told Jean to take it slow, and that will help both of you get comfortable with your bodies, and how they feel.”

“Thanks.”

Just then, Jean came back. She was still in her costume, and she had a huge smile on her face.

“Okay Scott. Come with me. I want your promise you will try on the costume I have picked out, just like I tried this one.”

She led him to the change room right beside the one she had used.

“You promise to try it, Scot? Please?”

“Okay Jean, I promise. I just hope it would be too embarrassing.”

Jean giggled. “Let’s just say...you have worn something like it before, I am sure.”

Shaking his   head, Scott went into the change room. A moment later, he poked his head out.. “Are you kidding?”

Sara said, “Now, I am definitely intrigued. Come on, Scott. It can’t be that bad.”

“Fine. Jean, you are an evil little girl.”

Jean giggled, and stuck out her tongue. “Come on, go try it out.”

Scott went back in, and Sara said to Jean, “What have you got going, Jean. I half-promised him you wouldn’t embarrass him.”

“I wont. If he really is uncomfortable, he can pick his own.”

Scott’s muffled voice came from the changing room, “I heard that!”

“And I mean it Scott. But try it, please?”

The two woman waited for a few more minutes, and then the door to the change room opened, and Scott stepped out. Sara tried to hold it in, but couldn’t stop the giggles from escaping. Scott was wearing a dress. It was a “sexy secretary” outfit, and he he looked at her and shook his head.

“So... is it a go for Halloween, Scott? I was serious, if you want to change it, it’s okay.”

“I look ridiculous!”

Jean came up to him, and drew a finger down from his waist to the hem of the dress, and then ruffled the hem upward while tracing her other hand across his chest.

“I don’t know, Its.. very sexy on you.”

Sara said, “I am with Jean on this one Scott. You would get your share of wolf-whistles. You might take care of the little...problem in the front, though.”

He glanced down and said “Whoops” and moved away from Jean, covering up as he did so. He then went back into the change room.

“Jean, you shouldn’t tease him so. He is still getting used to being a boy, you know.”

“Sorry. I kinda... got caught up in the moment. Besides, I saw how he looked at me when he saw me in this getup.”

“Still. Go get changed.”

“Yes, mother.”

Both teens got dressed into their street clothes, and purchased the costumes. They left the store, and   Jean took Scott’s hand, and said “I am sorry Scott. I shouldn’t tease you like that. I … I just enjoyed how you were looking at me. Knowing I was.... making you feel like that, it was... intoxicating.”

“Its okay, Jean. I...I might have done the same back when I was a girl. I... still find myself hoping I make you feel something too.”

She snuggled close as they walked. ‘You do. Believe me, you do. I am … trying to hold myself back, partially because I know this is new for you. And partially because its new for me too. I am still learning how to deal with my own changes. But for the first time, I am feeling like its..okay to like a guy that way.”

“I am glad to hear that.”

Sara said, “Me too. But we should hurry up a bit, if we want any significant time at your house, Scott, before we have to take off again.”

“I thought you said it was this evening?”

“Yes, at six. But I haven’t even met your mom, or this woman who looks after her. I would like them reasonably comfortable with Jean before I have to leave her alone. We still don’t know how safe Jean would be there, and I would feel responsible if anything happened to her while I was gone.”

“I will be okay, Sara. I am not powerless. While you are with Scott, please focus on his well-being.”

“I made a promise, Jean. I intend to keep it. But I want to make sure you are safe as well.”

“I appreciate it, Sara. And I really appreciate the fact you went to bat for Scott. I am just going to be a little worried until he is back.”

“I will be happy when this is over myself.”

They finished the walk in silence, until they reached Scott’s house.

Scott let them in, and called out, “Beth? Mom?”

For a moment, there was silence.

He called out again, more urgently, “Beth? Mom?”

They moved into the house, and Scott called a third time. He looked at the other two worriedly. Sara slid her hand under her shirt, and produced a small gun. She put a finger to her mouth, and whispered “You two stay here.”

“No way. This is my house, my mother, and my friend. Besides, I don’t want someone shot by accident.”

“Trust me, Scott. If I shot anyone, it wouldn’t be an accident”

“Somehow, I am not reassured.”

“Just stay put.”

Sara moved carefully down the main hallway. She opened the doors one by one, while Scott and Jean fidgeted. A few moments later, she came back. “No sign of either of them, Scott. The good news is there doesn’t seem to be any sign of a struggle.”

Scott went from room to room, and came back, “Mom’s purse is missing, So is Beth’s. But I don’t see anything else out of place.”

Jean opened her mouth to speak, when something hit her from behind.

“Ow!”

It was the door opening, hitting her as she stood behind it. Scott and Sara turned at the noise, to see Beth and Scott’s mother come in.

“Mom? Beth? You had me scared to death! Where have you been?”

“Just went out for some groceries, Scott.   I thought you were gone for the day, and your mother needs to get out once in a while.”

“Sorry Beth. I am getting a little paranoid. Its been a tough couple of days for metas.”

Sara quietly put away her gun, and came up to Beth. “Hello, I am Sara. I am Jean’s guardian.”

Jean came out from behind the door, still rubbing her head. “And I am Jean. Nice to meet you both.”

“Nice to meet you, young lady. Scott has talked about you. You can call me Shannon.”

“And both of you can call me Beth.”

Soon, the four of them were chatting around the kitchen table, and it didn’t take very long for Jean to feel very comfortable and at home. She found Beth to be a level-headed woman, with a lot of compassion for just about everyone. And talking with Scott’s mother made her see where the qualities she liked best about him had come from. She had occasional moments of confusion, and it was never totally clear what she thought Beth’s role in her life was, but her love for Scott shone through at all times.

But all-too-soon, Sara said, “Its getting to be about that time, Scott. We have to get   back to Jean’s place and pick up my car. Jean could not decide how to say goodbye to Scott, and so was fidgeting awkwardly while he got ready. Scott gave both Beth and his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and said to both of them “Bye. Take care of Jean for me.”

Sara hugged Jean, and said, “It will be okay. just stay inside, and try not to worry.”

“Easier said than done.”

Scott took her hands, which had been shaking. He looked her in the eye, and said, “Have faith Jean. I don’t think we were brought together to part so soon. I will be back.”

“You’d better. I am glad you have faith in something Scott. Me, I just dont know if I trust God or the universe or whoever to care if I am happy or not.”

He   responded by kissing her, and the electric shock that melted her drove out all fears. When she opened her eyes, he was letting go of her hands, and he walked to the door. “We will see you all later.”

Everyone said “Goodbye.” at least twice, and then Sara and Scott left. Beth put her arm around Jean’s shoulders, and gently steered her back to the kitchen. There, Shannon was setting up a cribbage board, and soon the distraction of playing and talking with each other kept Jean’s mind occupied.

After several games, and a light supper, Jean went into the living room to watch some TV while Beth prepared Shannon for bed. She stayed well away from news channels, because she felt like she could guess the overall mood of the country. She was sure that the people were hurt, seeing Jade’s actions as a betrayal of the trust they had shown her. And that feeling was being transferred to be a distrust of all meta humans, everywhere. Jean had no answer for the question of how to reverse that trend. Short of a group of metas saving the world from some natural global catastrophe, it seemed hopeless. The only thing she felt like she could do was to keep her own head down and stay out of the public eye.

Once Beth had finished putting Shannon to bed, she came out, and said, “Jean, I have some paperwork to take care of,   I will check on you before I go to bed, okay?”

“Okay. and thanks, Beth, for letting me stay.”

“No problem at all. Glad to help. Scott is.. pretty taken with you, if you haven’t guessed. You are obviously a very special girl.”

“I...am pretty taken with him too.”

“I can see that Jean. Anyway, I will be in my little office if you need me.” She then left the room.

Jean watched TV for a bit, and then realized how tired she was. Grabbing a small pillow, she laid down on the couch, covered herself with a small blanket, and closed her eyes. When she woke, it was very dark, and still. She was just about to lay back down when she heard a noise coming from outside the door. She took off the blanket, and quietly got up and went to the door, and opened it.   She looked up, and saw that the sky was clear, with the stars providing the only light. She smiled for a moment, remembering how driven she had been as John to join them in the heavens.

Suddenly, she heard the noise again, and looked around. It seemed very close by, and she felt compelled to go and check it out. Trying to see in the darkness, her eyes finally adjusted enough for her to navigate her way to the side of the house, where she felt like the noise had come from. Then, a garbage can tipped over, and she saw Sara staggering toward her. She was beat up, bleeding, and fell into Jean’s arms. She said four words. “Sorry Jean. I failed.” She pointed shakily down the side alley, and then closed her eyes, and was still.

Jean laid her gently down, and moved as quietly and quickly as she could down the alley. That’s when she saw Scott. He was naked except a collar, and was on his hands and knees like an animal. When she approached him, his head moved in   her direction, but his eyes seemed unfocused. She crouched down to touch his head, and like it triggered a recording, he started repeating, ‘My name is Kitty and I am a slave...”

Jean backed away in shock. She stared crying, and then she began screaming “No! Not you...not...”

Jean felt someone shaking her, and she woke with a start to see Beth standing over her. “Jean?” You okay? You were shouting.”

“Oh, God. I must have been dreaming.” Shaking, Jean got up and hugged Beth fiercely. Beth held her for a minute, and then said, “Come. Lay down in Scott’s room, and try and let it go.”

They went to his room, and Jean looked around. Following some instinct she didn’t understand, she went to his laundry basket and picked up a jersey of Scott’s, She smelled it. She felt compelled to put it on, and for the first time felt like she understood why girls sometimes borrowed their boyfriend's clothes. His scent comforted her, and the warmth of the sweater made her feel like she was being held by him. She slipped off her pants, and curled up on the bed, pulling a blanket over herself. Some time later, she fell back asleep.

The next morning, Jean got out of bed, and saw her reflection in the mirror. A pretty girl, wearing a boy’s jersey that barely went far enough to act like a nightdress, and bare legs. She giggled, and thought “If Scott saw me right now, he would be tripping over his tongue. I really hope I get a chance to see that.”

She got dressed and made her way to the kitchen. Beth was already up, making Shannon breakfast. She joined them and ate three eggs, toast, and two pieces of bacon.

“Wow. You must have a hollow leg.”

“I think I am nervous.”

“I am a little nervous myself. Why wouldn’t they call us?”

“As I recall from my own time there, her phone wouldn’t work from inside.”

“Sounds a bit strange.”

“What can I say? Its a government thing.”

“Well, okay. Let me clear this up, and set Shannon up in the living room, and we can talk.”

“I will help you.”

After cleaning up, and helping Shannon go to a recliner in the living room, the two of them went back to the kitchen.

“Now, Jean, would you like to talk about what happened last night? I mean, I know we don’t know each other well, but you might need to get it out.”

Jean sighed. “Okay. You see, not long ago, a government agent developed a.. device, a chip that would turn a person into... a parody of a human being. They would retain their memories, their personality, but … they would have a hole, where their self-will was. Not only could they not disobey, they couldn’t even DREAM of disobeying. The result was …. sick, twisted, just evil. I.. I know of one case, and what was left of a vibrant human being when they were found... it make me ill. just to think of it. That person was returned to their loved one, and … well, they didn’t live long, which seems like a mercy, frankly. The worst part is... I had a chance to save them, and failed. No, it was worse than that. I didn’t even try, because I was too scared. So last night, I dreamed the same thing happened to Scott. And I don’t think I could handle failing like that again.”

“I am sorry, Jean. I am glad you trusted me with this. I wish I had magic words to make you feel better, but I don’t. But I do know, getting it out like you just did, it will help you long term.”

“Thanks for listening. It did feel good to get it out.”

Just then, the phone rang, and Beth answered. “Its Scott! He’s okay, and they are on their way home.”

“Thank God.”

Jean tried to be patent, but within five minutes, she was tapping a pencil and swinging her legs. Then she switched to tapping a foot while playing with her hair. A minute later, she stood up, and paced back and forth, while her hands clasped and came apart.

“Jean?”

She stopped, and looked at Beth.

“Wearing a hole in the kitchen floor wont make them come home any faster.”

“Sorry. I wont feel good until he comes through the door.”

Beth smiled. “Why don’t I get Shannon out of her chair for once, and play some cards. She will love it, and it will keep you busy.”

“Sounds good.”

Beth went into the living room, and came back with Shannon in tow. Soon, the three women were playing crib, and Jean started to relax. She even could join in the bad jokes and giggles the two older women were sharing. She hardly noticed the passing of time, until the door opened, and Scott and Sara came in. Jean rose, and ran to the hallway to Scott, and threw herself into his arms.

“Scott! Oh God, are you okay?”

He hugged her, and then put her down. “I am okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I was so scared, Scott. I had a horrible nightmare last night, and I was ready to go down there this morning.”

Sara smiled. “I am glad you resisted that temptation. Last thing the meta community needs is another illegal action.”

“As long as they leave Scott and I alone, I will be a good girl. But if someone tries to hurt me, him, his family, or you, Sara, well... then I will defend my self, and the people I care about. I will be as responsible with my powers as possible, but I won’t let them run roughshod over me either.”

“Wow. remind me to never get on your bad side.”

“Well, I mean it, Scott. But come on, I want to know all about what happened”

They moved to the living room, and sat down. Scott then said, “Well, I don’t mind saying I found it intimidating. We were given a pass when we got to the front gates, and I must have been asked to show it a half-dozen times. Once we actually got to the lab where they ran the tests, it reminded me of a hospital. Most of the people who did the actual poking and prodding were okay. The only scary dude was the chief of security, Col. Munroe.”

Sara said, “Scary isn’t a bad quality in a chief of security. But I know him. Among other things, at one time he was a Golden Glove boxing champ. I have seen the press clippings, and they thought he was going to be the next Mike Tyson. They even used Tyson’s old nickname, and called him ‘Iron’ Monroe.”

“I met him too, when I went through testing. I don’t think he is a meta himself, but he looked like he could take on American Dream and hold his own.”

Sara grinned at that.

“But carry on, Scott.”

“Well, after doing the standard health stuff, and a whole pile of psych questions, they took me to a room where I could try out my power. I...well...”

“He blasted a whole through a brick wall like it was paper, Jean. The only thing I could compare it to would be an explosive charge, except it went out from him in a straight line.”

“Anyway, they monitored me six ways to Sunday while I tried my power out, but nobody told me anything about how it works, or why my glasses help me contain it.”

“They may not know much more than you. But Jean, I would like to go home and lie down.They let Scott take a rest, but I couldn’t while I watching over him.”

“Of course Sara. Will you be okay to drive home? You could crash on the couch here if you needed to.”

“Thanks Scott, but I like my own bed. Jean, I imagine you want to hang around Scott for the rest of the day, which is fine with me. Just be careful, and keep a cell on at all times.”

“Thanks Sara. I...I am grateful for you watching over Scott for me. Go rest. I will stay out of trouble.”

Once Sara left, Scott and Jean went back to the living room couch, and Scott said, “You wanna talk about the nightmare you had? You were pretty shaky.”

Trying to keep her voice stable, Jean recounted her nightmare.

“I was naked? Wearing a collar? Kinky girl.”

She looked at him sharply.

“Sorry, Jean, trying to lighten the mood a bit. It must have really shaken you.”

“It did. It frightens me to no end to know that people could create such a device, much less use it on an innocent human being.”

“Well, these guys showed no interest in turning me into anything. I got the impression they were as lost about the source of my ability as I am, and no one mentioned any ideas as to why my glasses help me hold it in.”

He fell silent, and in the quietness that followed, Jean began to recognise her body’s reactions to his presence. “Maybe its just because I thought I had lost him - No.I have to face it. I....I want him in a way that would have frightened me even a few days ago. I could lead him to his room right now, and holding back is actually physically painful.What am I going to do?”

“Jean? You have gone quiet. What are you thinking of?”

Jean blushed.

“Oh. That.“ He turned as red as she was. “Jean, what are we going to do? I know we promised to take it slow, but, I don’t know about you, but I am finding that harder than I ever thought possible.”

“I...I feel the same Scott.But we have to try. I mean...we have known each other for such a short time, and yet you mean so much to me it scares me. But once we do....that, our relationship will change, and I can’t guess in what way.”

“I know what you mean. But right now, I could easily forget why I should care about that.” He turned even redder.

“Then...maybe I should go. I....I guess I can be honest enough to admit I am not far behind you.”

They shared a kiss that threatened to lead to much more, until Jean broke it off. She quickly got up, and went to the door, flustered. “I....I better go. Bye.” She fumblingly gathered her costume, opened the door, and without waiting for a response, she practically fled.

Behind her, Scott closed the door, and went into the kitchen, where Beth was preparing lunch, while his mother waited at the table.. “You okay, Scott?” Beth asked

“You tell me. I am sure you heard every word.”

“Well, your mom here would kill me if I didn’t look out for you.”

“And I appreciate it. What about you, Mom?”

“”You are still my baby. And yet I know you are growing up too. I am proud of how you are doing.”

“Thanks Mom.” He gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Now, for more serious matters, what’s for lunch?”

Meanwhile, as she raced home, Jean cursed herself. She came into her house, and went to find Sara. Sara was laying down on the couch in the living room. She woke up as soon as Jean entered the room She took a look at Jean’s face and said, “What happened, Jean?”

“I messed up. I acted like a tease, and then ran away. When I was John, I hated girls who played those types of games. I wouldn’t blame him if he dumped me.”

“Jean, I wasn’t there, so I can’t judge what you did or didn’t do. But if it is bothering you , the person you should talk to is Scott himself. Why don’t you phone him, right now?”

Jean looked at Sara for a moment, and then picked up the phone. Fumblingly, she dialed his number, and began to pace while it rang.

“Hi.” she said, “Scott? I ...I just wanted to apologise. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. I am so sorry. I … I let my hormones get the best of me, and then I freaked out, and left without even saying a proper goodbye. I hope you can forgive me.”

He said, “Jean, there is nothing to forgive. It took two to perform that tango, so I was as much to blame as you. You know, the one thing I really admire about you is the fact that you want so much to be honest with me. I am honored by that, so please don’t worry about what almost happened. By the way, would you like to come to church with us tomorrow? My mom loves going, and it gives Beth a day off.”

“I .. I haven’t stepped inside a church in a long time. But okay. Why not.”

“Good. Come by about ten. And Jean?”

“Yes, Scott?”

“I … I …”

“Me too. Bye.”

“So, Jean. He wants you to go to church with him?”

“Yes. I pretty much had no faith as John. I guess I gave up on it after the church I used to attend threw a gay man out of the church. I ….I felt like if they did that to him, they would hate me too, because of my struggles with my gender.”

“I am sorry Jean. But if it were me, I would go. I think he has enough smarts to pick somewhere you would both be comfortable.”

“What about you?

“I will be grateful for the rest. I was up all night, as you might recall.”

“Sorry, Sara. I will go to my room and let you get some more rest.”

“Its okay, Jean. I will actually go to my room and lay down. If you want to make some lunch, go ahead.”

“One thing before you lie down, Sara, if you don’t mind. Have you....have you ever had a boyfriend? I am sorry if that is personal.”

“I don’t have one currently, Jean. But yes, I have had a boyfriend or two in my life.”

“Well … this is kinda awkward to ask, but did you...did you ….”

“Want to be with him, physically?”

“Yes. I … I can’t believe how much I want Scott. I never thought girls thought about sex as....strongly as this.”

“Jean, did you assume we were all vestal virgins, who never thought about sex? That when it came to making love, we could only ‘lay back, and think of England?’ as Queen Victoria put it?”

“I...I guess not. But, from the way guys talked, I thought it was more the guys pushing, and the girls holding back. Because of my gender issues, I shied away from it until a girl actually made the first move, but I assumed that they wanted me because of my status as an astronaut-in-training. I enjoyed it, and I hoped they did too, but I guess I assumed it wasn’t a lust thing for them. And in the end, it wasn’t much of a lust thing for me, either. I mostly wanted to find a way to deny my … drive to be a girl.”

“It may have been lust, it may not. Every woman is a little different. But I can tell you there were times, I would have jumped my boyfriend in the middle of a crowded shopping center and not cared about the audience. And we girls talk too, and believe me, we compare sexual experiences with great relish. But let me ask you something. What you feel about Scott, is it just a sex thing? Or is it more?”

“I love him, Sara. I can’t imagine a life without him. Yes, I want him so much it hurts, but I also just feel better around him. Yes, his touch is electric, and seeing him glance at me in that way is a rush, but I also love his personality. His gentleness, his honor, his sense of humor.... there isn’t a part of him I don’t love. I...I want to spend the rest of my life with him, if he will have me.”

“And do you know how he feels?”

“He almost said the word on the phone, just now. I … stopped him, saying I knew it already.”

“Why did you do that, Jean?”

“I....I am not sure. I guess I think this can’t be any easier for him. I remember how hard it was for me to say it as John, even when I felt it. I …. I wanted to spare him that.”

“Well, until you both actually say the word, you are still playing in the shallow end.Sex is... wonderful. But its best when both parties want the same things. You want to do more than just share bodies. That means a commitment. Not a marriage in a big church, necessarily, but at least a promise to each other to treat the experience as something more than just fulfilling a physical need.”

‘So we are back to taking it slow.”

“That would be my advice, Jean. At least until you can both say ‘I love you’ without any hesitation.”

“Okay. Thanks Sara.”

“Welcome. Now, I am going to try and get some shut-eye. I don’t want to sleep too long, so I will set my alarm for 3 hours.”

“Go ahead Sara. I will stay quiet.”

“Give me ten minutes Jean, and you will be able to hire a brass band and not wake me.” Then Sara went to her room. After she left, Jean went to the kitchen, and quietly made a sandwich. She went to the living room to eat, putting on a nature show, keeping the volume low. She started to relax, and took some time to commune with the Phoenix. Soon, she lost track of the time, until Sara tapped her on the shoulder.

Shaking herself, she looked up, and Sara sat beside her. “What were you doing, Jean? I have seen you do that before, but not for a while.”

“I...I was talking with the Phoenix”

“Doesn’t she know what you are thinking?”

“Sort of, but I guess she mostly gets my emotions, not my actual thoughts. She told me once that if she imposed herself too much on me, she would...overwhelm me. So she keeps a distance.”

“It must be hard, at times. To have her with you.”

“It was at first. But she has gotten pretty good at the sharing head space thing. Me too, I guess.”

“Well, I don’t envy you having to have a ‘roommate’ in your head. And I am not sure how much I can help you deal with it. But now that you trust me, I hope you remember I can listen when you need to talk.”

“I am sorry for mistrusting you for so long. I have missed out having support. I am a little concerned about the government, especially now. I understand its your job to make your reports, but I appreciate whatever privacy you can give me.”

“I will do what I can, Jean. But as we proved with Scott, honesty is usually the best policy. The more upfront you are, the more likely your candor will be appreciated. There are going to be those who you can’t please no matter what, those who want all of you metas rounded up, but that’s just something we have to deal with.”

“As long as you are not one of them, and be honest with me as well, I will be as honest as I can be.”

“I promise Jean, just like I took care of Scott yesterday and this morning, I will do all I can to protect you. I don’t know yet what the fallout of what Jade did is going to be, but I think we are stronger facing it together, rather than apart.”

“Then together it is. Are you hungry, Sara?”

******

The next morning, a shout came from Jean’s room. “Arrrrg!”

Sara raced in. “You okay, Jean?”

“I don’t have a clue what I should wear!”

Sara laughed, and said “You sure you were ever a guy?”

“Not now, Sara. I have to try and think of what to wear to his church.”

Sara moved clothes around in the closet, and pulled out a dress. “This one.”

Jean looked at the dress. It was a rich purple, knee length, and would show just a touch of her cleavage.

“You sure, Sara?”

“It looks perfect. Try it on.”

Jean went to the bathroom, and came out wearing the dress. She looked in the mirror. “Oh...oh wow”

“I think Scott will agree with that assessment.”

“Which leaves me with one question to solve.”

“What’s that?”

“Do I have shoes to match?”

******

“I can’t believe you talked me into going with you, Jean.”

“Hay, I just pointed out to you that your job depends on knowing what I am up to.”

“You just wanted backup in case the place freaked you out.”

“That too. You look nice, by the way.”

“Thanks. It almost feels weird to wear a skirt. Not exactly common apparel for me.”

“Rather ironic, since you have been a girl a lot longer than me.”

“Maybe. I was a real tomboy growing up. And even in my time working for the government before I got assigned to help you, I was not a dress girl. I brought a couple with me, just in case, but was pretty glad to not need them, based on the clothes ‘moms’ wear in our neighbourhood..”

“Same thing at my school. Other than the cheerleaders, I almost never see a girl in a skirt.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“Mixed, I guess. When I was John, dreaming of being a girl, wearing pretty clothes was a big part of it. But after a while, all I wanted to do was be as invisible as I could be.”

“I noticed the change in your fashion style. I assumed you were trying to blend in more.”

“I found the attention, especially from boys, harder to deal with than I was expecting. I joined the ‘geek’ clique, and tried to go under the radar as much as I could.”

“I am sorry, Jean. Maybe having Scott will help you fit in better.”

“Not sure about that. We are both ‘geeks’ and likely to remain that way. But having him helps me in so many ways, I cannot even count them. And one of those ways is to make me feel like I can tell the ‘popular’ kids ‘I don’t need your approval’ - in my head, anyway.”

“An excellent attitude, in any case. Regardless, we are here.”

Scott had given them the address, saying “Mom likes to walk, and that’s good for her. I will meet you there.”

Sara pulled into the parking lot, and she and Jean got out. They were just in time to see Scott and Shannon come around the corner. Jean could not stop staring at Scott. He was wearing a suit and tie, and it made Jean blush just looking at him. Shyly, she came up to him.

“Hi...Scott. You look... very handsome.”

“Wow Jean. That is... an amazing dress.”

Scott was blushing too, and then both teens glanced down at the ground awkwardly for several moments.

Sara then said to Shannon, “We better ‘rescue’ them, and bring them both inside.”

Once in, Jean noticed something that would have been unthinkable in the church she grew up in as a child. At a table just inside the entrance, there were a series of pamphlets, dealing with groups like gays, lesbians, and transsexuals. Flipping through them, Jean saw them as guides to help people understand and accept, rather than attempt to change others. She moved quickly to catch up to Sara, Shannon, and Scott, who were finding seats.

When the service started, there was another difference Jean noticed. The pastor was a woman. The music was very traditional, and so was the sermon, but somehow, it seem much less...uncomfortable to Jean than she remembered from childhood. After the service, many of the people gathered in the basement for a meal, and she soon saw that the attitude expressed in the pamphlets was genuinely part of the attitude of the people. There were several gay and lesbian members, including some who were obviously couples.There was also at least one person who was obviously transitioning from male to female. They were treated with complete dignity and respect, and Jean warmed to the group.

After church, Shannon insisted on them coming back to her house for a game of cards. The two teens walked hand in hand, with Saran and Shannon walking behind.

“They look rather good together, don’t you think, Shannon?”

“I am glad to see Scott so happy. But we better keep pace. They don’t look like they would notice if we weren’t behind them.”

Jean turned, and said “You would be wrong about that Mrs. Summers.”

“Bit of a cheek to that girl. I think I like her.”

After they got to Scott’s house, Jean excused herself, and stepped outside. She pulled out her ring, and tried to reach Terra. An image of the girl appeared, and Jean asked, “Hay, Terra, how are you doing?”

“Doing okay, Jean, what’s up?”

“I...Just wanted to give you some good news. I..I found someone.”

“That’s great!”

“He is.”

“He, huh?”

“Yeh. Never thought that would happen, but … he makes me feel pretty good.”

“That is wonderful, congratulations. What’s his name?”

“His name is Scott. I hope I can introduce you sometime.”

“That would be cool. I am very glad for you. I have to go, but call me soon with the details.”

“I will. Take care.”

Jean closed the connection, and went back inside.

*****

After the end of class the next day, Jean and Scott went to what they already thought of as “their place”. The park where they both shared with each other.

“Scott? Did you notice people were a little... nicer to you today?”

“Yeh, actually I did. I wonder why?”

“Well, its just a theory, but maybe, because we now have each other.”

“I am glad of that, but what difference would that make to anybody else? We are both outsiders. Why would whether we are a couple or not matter?”

“By itself, maybe not very much. But, something else has changed, at least for me. I … feel better about myself, better than I have felt really since just after I transformed. I am sure others can tell somethings different. Having more self-confidence may have led to others to want to treat me differently.”

“That makes sense, Jean. And the same applies to me, plus, as you probably know, some guys have a real issue with homophobia. Before, because of my occasional slip-ups, I was labeled a ‘sissy’ or worse. Now, I have a pretty girlfriend, and some of that tension is gone now.”

Jean smiled “Me. Pretty. That’s a hard thing for me to get used to. Almost as hard getting used to the idea of being somebodies girlfriend. And having a handsome boyfriend besides”

Scott smiled back. “Thanks, Jean. But that brings up a point I would like to ask about. Does it feel....gay, to be with me?”

“Honestly, Scott, if this had happened to me not long ago, I would have had to say yes. But... I know, I am a woman now. And apparently, a heterosexual one, at that. How about for you.”

“Well, Jean, I …. I was... mostly into girls before, so that part doesn’t worry me. Having male parts, I am having more trouble with.”

Jean giggled. “I have noticed. But, if it makes you feel better, I...been dealing with the same problems, from the female side. But Sara told me something. I... I stopped you from saying something when you invited me to church. I ...told you I knew. And that was a mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“Yes. As long as we don’t say it, don’t actually put it out there.... we are just playing around. And I ...don’t want to just play. I want more, much much more, than just to …. have a teenage fling. If that’s okay with you.”

“Its more than okay Jean. With that in mind, I would like to be the first to actually say it, and I hope you follow suit. I … I love you, Jean Grey. I know we have only been …. together for a short time, but I want it to last, as long as it possibly can.”

“Thank you Scott. And you don’t even have to worry a bit about how I feel. I love you too. I... I would still like to take it slow, on the physical side, but...when I am ready for that, the only person I can even dream of sharing it with, would be you. In the meantime, I will try to be content with growing our relationship, I want to know everything there is to know about you, and have you know all about me. I can’t think of a better way to spend our time together, until we can share our bodies, as well as our lives.”

The two of them kissed, and Jean felt sure that the Phoenix felt the fireworks.

“I should go, Scott. I will see you tomorrow. Phone me tonight?”

“You got it Jean. Maybe we should make that a tradition. We make sure that each other’s voice is the last thing we hear before we go to sleep.”

“Romantic.”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“Okay, I...I kinda like a romantic guy”

“Jean, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“Don’t get a swelled head.”

“I’m mostly faking the confidence. I figure its expected of the guy in a relationship.”

“Oh god. Stereotypes.”

Scott giggled a little, and then Jean joined him.

“I better go, Scott. Talk to you later.”

“Okay. Take care.”

******

The next day, after school, they went to the park again. Jean was quiet for a while, and finally, Scott asked, “What are you thinking about?”

“The Phoenix.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“I was just remembering one of the few times I have actually called on the powers of the Phoenix.”

“I don’t understand. Don’t you call on those powers all the time?”

“No. See, the telekinesis and telepathy are my own power. I would have had them no matter how my meta-gene was activated. But for the really big stuff, I have to ask the Phoenix to help.”

“Okay. So, do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Its not easy, but yes. See, there was this woman called Captain Comet, and Jade asked me to help in case she was a villain. While we were dealing with that, a huge solar flare started up. Jade and the others couldn’t stop it. But the Phoenix could, so I asked her for help. She...we... we stopped it, by redirecting the flare to a couple of asteroids that would have hit the moon.”

“Sounds very heroic, Jean.”

“That part, maybe. But as soon as I accessed the power, I could see... what I could be, what I could do with it. I could make myself a dark and terrible goddess, a creature who everyone worshiped, and feared. I... for a moment, I was really tempted to be that kind of creature. But somehow, I managed to resist it, and I was me again.”

Scott hugged her, and then said, “Jean, think for a second. Anyone might have been tempted to use that level of power for selfish reasons. But something stopped you. What was it?”

“I...I heard the girl Captain Comet and Jade arguing. Captain Comet wanted to put me in a black hole, so I wouldn’t hurt anybody. But Jade....stood up for me. At that moment, I realized, that I could cause people to fear me, I could demand worship, but I couldn’t make a person care about me, the way she does. So I was able to reject the temptation.”

“Then you showed your true character, Jean. You are as worthy of the name ‘hero’ as anyone.”

“Thank...thank you, Scott. Your faith in me....it means a great deal. I will try and live up to it.”

“I know you will. But to change the subject, what do you think about the Halloween dance?”

“Scott, if you want to change your costume, you can. I … I dont want you to feel ashamed, or anything.”

“I know Jean. I actually considered an alternate.” He pulled open a bag he had been carrying, and pulled out what looked like a medieval knight costume.

“That looks very nice, and well, masculine.”

“Well, don’t tell anybody, its actually Joan of Arc.”

Jean laughed so hard she fell off the bench they had been sitting on.

Scott helped her up, and said, “But we should probably split up and go home. Ask Sara about coming over for supper one night, or us coming over to your house.”

“That’s a good idea, Scott. I...I love you. Bye.”

“I love you too, Jean. Goodbye.”

That night, she told Sara, “Every time I think I can’t love Scott more, he shows me some part of himself that makes me fall even harder for him..”

“And the physical stuff, Jean?”

Jean blushed. and said “Well, we have managed to keep ourselves out of trouble so far. Not that it has been easy.”

“I know, Jean. But I think you will find it worth the wait. Oh, I almost forgot. Did you hear that the arrest warrant for Jade has been dropped?”

“That’s great news.”

“It is, but the general mood is still pretty unsettled. At some point, an official statement from Jade might help, so that her supporters have something to hang on to.”

“I am sure she will, when she can.”

******

Two days later, it was Halloween, and both Jean and Scott had trouble focusing on classes, and it seemed like that was a common condition through out the school. After classes, the two of them shared a quick kiss, and raced to their respective homes for a bite to eat. Jean had finished eating, and just changed into her costume when the doorbell rang. She opened it, and smiled at Scott. “Wow, Scott, you make a very handsome knight.”

“Thanks, Jean. You look stunning yourself.”

“You guys better get going. Jean, keep a cell on, okay? And try not to get in any trouble.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Shoo!”

The two teens walked back to the school, and went into the gym, which had been converted into a dance floor. Mrs. Bloom and Mr. Cook were acting as chaperons for the dance, and met them at the door.

“You guys must be anxious to dance, coming so early.” Mr. Cook said.

Jean and Scott giggled, and went in. A handful of students were there, and the D.J. was adjusting his mike. A minute later, the dance actually got under way.   After a handful of dances, Jean said to Scott, “I’m getting very thirsty.”

“Me too. I saw some punch on a table when we came in. Let’s have some.”

“Sounds good.”

They went over to the table, and found a lineup, but shortly were able to get a glass each. Jean gulped it down, but Scott spilled half of his. He was going to get more, but Jean pulled him toward the dance floor. As they danced,   Jean found that she had much more rhythm now than when she had been John. She giggled at Scott, who occasionally was She giggled at Scott, who occasionally was struggling to keep a beat. He noticed her giggling, and laughed and shouted “Yes, its true. I can’t dance.” He whispered in her ear, “Never could, even as a girl. Its just nobody notices if you look good enough.”

Jean laughed out loud, and then said “I don’t care, Scott. And you look good enough for me.”

By the halfway point of the dance, Jean felt rather strange. She started to have trouble keeping balanced, and everything around her seemed slightly foggy. “Can we sit, Scott.”

Scott looked slightly wobbly himself, and giggled as he took her to a chair, “Sit, Scott. Sit, Scott.” He giggled again. He sat down, and smiled at her.

“What is it Scott?”

“You are so beautiful. Can I kiss you?”

She looked at him, and said “I thought you would never ask.”

They kissed, and Jean almost melted.

The kiss was finally broken up by another student shouting at them, “Get a room.”

Both Jean and Scott blushed, and Jean looked around the gym. Something was off, but she couldn’t quite place it. She noticed several couples making out, and one girl had stripped off her costume and was dancing in a bra and panties. She looked for the two adults, and saw that Mrs. Bloom was actually making out with a female student. It was hard to see who it was, but she was wearing a cheerleader outfit. Jean felt sure that it wasn’t a costume, but really hers. Meanwhile, Mr. Cook had found a girl’s purse, and was applying lipstick to his own lips.

“Maybe we should get out of here.” she said.

“I think so too.” Scott said.

The two of them walked out of the gym, and went to the park they had come to think of as “theirs”. Both of them were slightly unsteady, and leaned on each other until they reached a bench, and sat down. Jean felt reckless,   and gave Scott a fierce kiss.

“Wow.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Jean pulled up the top of her costume, and dropped it to the ground. Scott stared at her breasts, now only concealed by a lace bra. Smiling, she moved to help him take off the top of his outfit, kissing him as she did so.

“Are... are you sure, Jean? I... I... are you okay?”

Jean finished taking his top off, and threw it to the ground, and began to remove the bottom of her costume.

“Jean?,   This...doesn’t feel   right. Whats...whats happening to us?

Something in his voice pierced the fog in Jean’s head, and suddenly, she felt a warmth coming from the Phoenix.   A moment later, she felt cold sober, and quickly pulled back up the bottom of her costume. Scott reached for her, saying “Help me, Jean.”

She pushed with her mind, giving him a mental slap.

“Ow!” He said.

“Scott?”

“I.... I think I am okay. What the heck was that?”

Jean picked up the top half of her costume, and slipped it on quickly. “I... I am not sure, Scott. It was....like being drunk, only worse. I … I had no inhibitions at all.”

“Me either. I...I thought I was going to...take advantage of you.” He sat down, and wept.

Jean put an arm around him, and said, “Scott. Listen to me. You were the one holding back. I...I would have kept going, if you hadn’t kept asking me if I was okay. You protected me from … myself.”

“Thanks Jean. What happened? And how did you beat it?”

“I am not entirely sure, but I think...someone spiked the punch at the dance. When you resisted, I....I felt the Phoenix in me, and … I think she took care of whatever it was, and then I sobered you with my telepathy.”

“Jean, if you are right, we have to go back to the gym. I … seem to remember people doing some pretty strange stuff.”

“Me too. I … I hope we can do something.”

The two of them moved quickly to the gym. They opened the door, and both of them froze with shock. The gym had turned into a madhouse of indulgence. Many people were naked, there were dozens making love right on the floor, and some of the combinations were unexpected, to say the least. Oddest were the number of boys who had followed Mr. Cook’s example, and had feminized themselves. Scott shook his head. “What the heck do we do, Jean? You can’t use the telepathic trick with them, or you will lose your secret identity. From what you did for me, I... I recognized you when you touched my mind.”

Jean thought, and said,   “Maybe, maybe not. They are so confused at the moment, they may not recognize my presence in their minds ….” she suddenly put her hands to her head.

“Jean? What happened?”

‘I...I felt something horrible.”

“Can you point it out?”

Jean looked around, and then focused on the platform that had been made for the DJ.

“There. I can’t see it clearly, because of the lights, but there.”

The two of them made their way through the crowd cautiously, holding hands. Slipping around to the back of the platform, Trying to be quiet, they went up the stairs, and then could see a figure sitting on a chair. Scott whispered, “I recognize him from drama club. That’s Tanner Richards.”:

“Yes, I recognize him now. What’s he doing?”

“I think he is using a cell camera.”

“Oh yes, I see it. He’s recording this? Come on, let’s talk to him, get him to stop this.”

They moved forward quietly, but the boy seemed to not notice in any case. He was giggling as he filmed the activity below. Scott reached out, and put his hand on the boy’s wrist.

“Hay!” He said, and turned to look at them. Scott was about to hit him, when Jean said,   “No Scott! Look at him!”

“He is...like the rest of them? But you felt...”

“Hatred, and gloating, yes. But it’s not him, or at least not what he would be like if he had his inhibitions.”

“But then, who did this? Where are they?”

“I am not sure.” She paused, and concentrated “I don’t feel anything other than the lust and confusion down there.”

“Well, what do we do for the students?”

“I am not sure about that either. Maybe it will be like drinking too much. Wake up in the morning with a doozy of a hangover, and embarrassed to death over what you remember doing, if you remember at all.”

“I hope so. Maybe we should call Sara? Maybe she has an idea.”

“That’s a good idea. But let’s get outside. Nobody seems like they are paying attention to us, but, I don’t want to attract any extra attention, and she would have trouble hearing us over this noise.”

“Do you think we should get a sample of the punch? I mean, that’s the most likely source of whatever this is.”

“I’ll grab some on our way out.”

Climbing back down the stairs, the two of them made their way through the crowd, trying to avoid stepping on people who were on the floor.

“I almost hope they don’t remember this. Most of these people are going to be very ashamed.” Scott said.

“I still feel ashamed myself. I mean, It’s not like making love with you would have been so bad, just not yet.”

“Glad to know you don’t find the idea itself unattractive.”

"Oh no, Scott. Its just I am still getting used to having female equipment. I hope it will happen soon, but I also want it to be something special, for both of us.”

“Me too, Jean. I knew something was wrong with us, but I was having real trouble fighting it, because it...well, I am trying to say, you are an amazing woman, and I mean in a lot of ways besides your physical beauty. But your body...well, being around you, I have trouble thinking straight, and that’s without any extra help.”

“And I … feel the same, Scott. If you hadn’t been such an honorable man, and kept asking me if I was okay... well, …. I am just glad you did. I am glad our first time wasn’t under the influence. But we should get going.”

They stopped at the table where the punch was, and picked up a glass.

“Have to be careful. No lid, so it can spill.”

“I can use my power to keep it in the glass.”

They made their way outside, and then Jean pulled out her cell and called Sara. A short explanation later, she hung up the phone.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What did she say?”

“She said call the authorities anonymously, and then come straight home.”

They phoned the police, and without leaving a name, told them there was an emergency at the school. Then, they started to go towards Jean’s home, Jean had to go slowly because she was trying to keep the cup containing the punch.

“I think I am getting stronger, or at least better at controlling my power.” She said.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, when I first transformed, I would have to hold perfectly still to do anything. Now, I am walking while keeping a “lid” of force on this cup.”

“That’s good, Jean. Maybe we can do some testing later, once this mystery is solved.”

They made it to Jean’s house, and met Sara at the door. “Sara, we think whatever it was ...it was caused by the punch.” Jean said, “So we brought home a sample.”

“How sure are you that it was the punch?”

“Honestly, not entirely. I mean, it could have been something in the air. But Scott had less than me... and was more in control of himself.”

“Well, I am glad you are both safe. I will contact my bosses, and see if I can get some experts looking for answers. In the meantime, I will put this in a better container, and I would rather neither of you touch it.”

“No worries there. I should go home myself anyway.”

“Scott, wait. What are we going to do about school tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.”

Sara said, “If you want my advice, both of you should stay home.”

“Why?” Scott asked.

“We don’t know who did this, or why. It could be just some kind of prank that went too far, or it could be something much more serious. We can’t even be sure if they were aware of the fact that there are metas at your school. For all we know, either of you could have been a target.”

“But what would someone gain from this? Even if we had not resisted, we would have just... well you know. It may be too soon for that, but I can’t see how it would hurt us enough to be worth this.”

“At this point, we simply don’t have enough information, Jean. But the fact is, the Phoenix is not a creature I want to see running around without your inhibitions. I mean, what if you had gotten mad at someone? You could hurt or kill them very easily.”

“I...I never even thought of that. Scott, what about you, do you want to go to school tomorrow?”

“I would like to, if only to find out if the effects wear off.”

“Scott, you are not any safer than Jean would be. Remember the damage you did to that wall during your test of your power? Imagine if you lost your inhibitions and got angry.”

“I see what you mean. But what about the others? Shouldn’t we do something?”

“Scott, when the police and ambulance arrive, they will take at least some of the more … rowdy people in, as well as anyone who is unconscious. I suspect that they will run in much of the others if only to try and figure out what happened. If they find it beyond them, they will ask for help, and then we can do more. In the meantime, I will get our experts on this. But our first priority is keeping you two safe.”

“Okay. I will hang around home, and give Beth the day off. Call me tomorrow, Jean?”

“Sounds good to me, Scott. If I can’t be with you in person, being on the phone with you is the next best thing.”

“I have no objection to the two of you chatting tomorrow. But leave your cells on, so I can call you if I learn anything. Now, excuse me, I better call in, and warn them I am on my way.”

“Go ahead Sara. I will take off too. One thing. What should I tell Beth?”

“Ordinarily, I would say keep her in the dark, but since she already knows your secret, I think we can trust her not to spread this around. Some kind of panic situation would not be helpful right now.”

“I will tell her, I am sure she will keep it quiet, for now But, I better go Jean.”

They kissed, and Scott left. Sara went to her room to contact the agency, and a few minutes later, came out.

“Jean, they want me to bring in the sample right away. I will let you know as soon as I can if they find anything out.”

“Okay, Sara. Take care.”

“You too.”

Sara put the punch into a lidded container, and then left. Jean made a sandwich, and then tried to relax watching TV, but found it difficult. She had visions of what happened at the school happening across the city, across the country. She shuddered, and thought, “Somehow, we have to find out who did this, and stop them. But, I am not much help, just sitting here. The Phoenix has such power, and I am just....useless.” She lay down on the couch, hugged a pillow, and cried, until she fell asleep.

Jean woke to the sound of the door being unlocked, and she sat up. Sara came in, and said. “I’m back.”

“I’m glad. Did they tell you anything?”

“Well, you were right that it looks like the punch is to blame. Some kind of designer drug has been added to it.”

“Designer drug?”

“That’s all they would say, until they run some more tests. The good news is that they plan to have their best team investigating.”

“Can I help? I have been feeling so useless.”

“Jean, I can appreciate that. But it’s best to let the professionals do their job. Someone will come to interview you, and Scott, but please don’t try and play detective.”

“O...Okay.”

“I know its hard to be on the sidelines, Jean. Just trust us, that we want the best outcome here. Besides, I do have some more good news.”

“I could use all the good news you have.”

“A medical expert is already on site, taking on the care of the other students. A preliminary check seems to show no permanent damage, at least not so far, but they don’t want to move the students from the school grounds. As soon as you can, they would really like you and Scott to come in, to see if there are any long term effects.”

“Can we be together? I had enough anxiety when he went in without me.”

“I am sure that can be arranged. You hungry? Looks like you didn’t eat much for supper.”

“Okay. I am ready to eat.”

After getting some food, Jean called Scott, and filled him in on everything she had learned. When she got off the phone, she told Sara, “Scott says he feels a little woozy, almost like a hangover, but other than that he is okay. He will come in with me, if you can arrange us both to be seen together.”

Sara said, “Good.”

******

“The school? Really?” Scott asked, for the third time.

“Yes, Scott. Right now, we need to contain this, and the school is the best place.”

“Here I thought we would be ditching classes today.”

“Well, there won’t be any classes. But it’s possible we’ll all learn something.”

“You said they have left all the affected students here overnight?”

“Yes. Most seem to be doing much better already. Headaches and nausea are about the worst symptoms. The worst part seems to be dealing with the memories of what they did while under the influence.”

“What about their families? I mean, how long can they keep this a secret?”

“I have been told that they have got the families to cooperate, at least for now. Everyone is worried about their kids, and no one wants a city-wide panic.”

“I guess I understand that. I just hope they can figure this out, before whoever did this tries again.”

“I am with you there. But come, we are the last ones to arrive.”

The three of them went in, and looked around the gym. It seemed surreal to Jean. Halloween decorations were still up, but a make-shift hospital had also been created.

“I don’t understand something, Sara. Why didn’t they just use a hospital?”

“My understanding is they felt it was not wise to move the students until they had recovered. Plus. while we are making the assumption that this was caused by the drug in the punch, they wanted to be sure the students were not infectious.”

“Infectious? Really?”

“You can hardly blame them for wanting to be sure.”

“I hope they don’t quarantine us then.”

“A bit late for that. I am assuming we are clean, in any case.”

They made their way through the crowd, and then Jean saw a uniformed figure waving to them. “Is that Col. Monroe?” She asked.

“It is. The best choice for this assignment, I think.”

They went over to the man, and he saluted Sara. “Ma'am. Nice to see you again, Miss Grey, Mr. Summers. I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Colonel, Scott and Jean agreed to come in and cooperate. I hope you will respect that by sharing with them anything you learn here.”

“I will do what I can, Ma’am. The blunt fact is we don’t know much. Most of the victims are recovering, except the obvious embarrassment over what they did. I have some therapists on hand to help with that, but so far, no clues as to who did this, or why.”

“Colonel, Tanner Richards was filming some of what happened, and I am sure some other students had camera phones going as well. Maybe that will help.”

“It’s a new world. I will get one of my men collect all the phones, and see what we can learn. Thank you, Jean.”

“Your welcome. I know Scott and I are just civilians, but we would like to help, any way we can.”

“Thank you. Whether you believe it or not, I am don't mind it if someone uses an ability to help others, or to save lives. But at this moment, the best thing for you to do is to give us a statement as to what you saw and felt, and let the doctors run some tests to see if you are okay.”

Both teens were poked, prodded, and interviewed. After the interview, Jean was crying. Scott came in, and rushed over, and held her. “What happened, Jean?”

“Oh, just realizing how much of a slut I was.”

“Jean! You know better than that. You were …. not yourself.”

“Somehow, it doesn’t make me feel better. I … I know I wanted you, and all it took to get me to drop my clothes was a little drink.”

Sara came in, and said, “That little drink was pretty powerful stuff Jean. And you didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t need to feel ashamed of anything.”

“We both acted in ways we wouldn't have if we were in control, Jean.”

Jean cried, and said “I am sorry Scott. I am .. making it sound like being with you would have been horrible.”

“I … I know better, Jean. Its just not the right time, not yet. And I am in the same boat. I..I thought for a moment that I had... taken advantage of you. If I had done that, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. But you saved me from blaming myself. Now, let me do the same. Look at me Jean.” He took her face in his hands, and pulled her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes. “You need to believe me. I don’t want you kicking yourself, or calling yourself names, not anymore. You...you are a part of me now. If you start hating yourself, putting yourself down....you hurt me too. Do you want to do that?”

“N...no.”

“Then I want you to promise, that you will forgive yourself for whatever part of what happened you think was your fault. Just like you forgave me, when I needed it. You know, my mom reminded me about the importance of forgiving others. I think it applies to yourself, as well. Learn from it, and then let it go. Can you try to do that?”

“Yes, Scott. I’ll try.”

Colonel Munroe came in, and said. “It looks like you two are clean. But I want you both to report immediately if you feel any side effects, or feel out of sorts at all.”

“We will. What about the rest of the students?”

“We are clearing them as fast as they are recovered. The worst cases will probably have to remain under observation for the weekend, at least.”

“How are the teachers? What’s going to happen to Mrs. Bloom?”

“I can assure you she will not be charged with having sex with a minor. Beyond that, well, we will help her as much as we can. The other teacher, Mr...Cook? Well, he is actually one of the people who may take a lot longer to recover.”

“Why? I mean... Mrs. Bloom, I would understand, but all I saw him do was put some makeup on.”

“I am not comfortable with talking about the specifics. Just trust us that we will do all we can for him as well.”

“Thank you Colonel. I … I hope you can find out who did this. You seem like a good man. I... I am glad someone like you is in charge.”

“Well, I will do what I can to solve this. This is my home too, and I want whatever bastard tried to mess with it out of circulation. I will do everything I can to make that happen, and that’s something you can count on.”

Jean smiled at him. “And I don’t envy them when you do. Sara told me your nickname, and I can see how you earned it. I wouldn’t want to be on the bad side of “Iron” Munroe.”

“Stay within the law, and that won’t happen.”

“I will. But what do we do now? Can we go home?”

“Yes. But like I said, let Sara or I know if you have any strange...urges, any side effects.”

“I will do my best. But it was like...being drunk. I would had trouble thinking straight enough to ask for help. But I will try.”

“I understand. I would like to give you both a panic button, if you are willing to have it.”

“A panic button?”

“Yes. Just a little device, you push it, and we will come running.”

“What do you think, Scott?”

“I think its a good idea, Jean.”

Colonel Munroe gave them each a small device, and they got ready to leave. On their way out, they noticed some others leaving as well. Many were crying, and being helped by family members. She heard shouting, and saw an older man storming out of one “room”, followed by a woman, who was crying. She was followed by a teen girl who looked familiar to Jean. Letting go of Scott’s hand, she went to that room, and found a boy sitting on the makeshift bed. He was dressed as a girl, and and had tears on his face. He looked up, and said “I...I know you. Your Jean Grey, aren't you?”

“Yes, and I know your name. Its...David, isn’t it? Are you okay? Can we... can we do anything for you?”

“No....I don’t think so. Unless you can go back in time and take last night away.”

“I … I can’t do that. But I could listen. Maybe talking about it would help? What happened to you?”

“I...I had been so nervous. I went without a date, but … I hoped I might finally get a dance with a girl. I had a couple glasses of punch, when this girl sat down beside me. She started talking to me, and then even kissed me. I.. I thought I was in heaven. She started to undress, and handed me her clothes. They ...felt so soft, so nice, I...I just had to see how they felt on. Before I knew what was happening to me, I ….I was dressed like this, and she was... we were....” He cried again.

Jean put an arm around him. “It will be okay.”

“No, it wont be. I was...still pretty out of it when my folks arrived. I...I couldn’t think why dressing like this might be bad, I...I... well, you saw what my dad thinks of me now.”

“It wasn’t your fault, David. We all did things we would wouldn’t have done if we had been in control of ourselves. The people here will explain that to your folks, and I am sure they will understand.”

“I don’t know that I do, Jean. I...even now, I … I don’t want to change my clothes. This dress … feels so right, and yet it is so wrong. I find myself wondering, who, what am I?”

“A ...a victim. And I promise I will do all I can to help. Just... don’t give up. Find a way to hold on, and let the doctors hep, okay?”

“Okay.”

Jean stepped back out, and went up to Scott, who had been pacing. She signaled to one of the aides, “Please tell Colonel Munroe that this boy is going to need serious therapy.”

Sara came over and said to the aide, “Trust her on this. Is he going to be okay?”

“I honestly don’t know. Whoever did this has a lot to answer for.”

“And they will, Jean. Let’s get you two out of here.”

Jean struggled to walk out of the gym, as tears blinded her eyes. Scott held on to her, and Sara was right beside her, and between them they prevented Jean from stumbling as they walked to Sara’s car. “I am okay now.” Jean said, as they got in, “Thanks.”

They drove to Jean’s home in silence, and once inside, Sara began to make some food. Jean said, “I am not really hungry, Sara.”

“Maybe not, but eat anyway.”

“Yes, Jean, eat. please?”

“You should go home to your mom, Scott.” Jean said hoarsely.

“I will soon. But don’t hold it in, Jean. Let what you are feeling out.”

“I... I am thinking about that boy, and remembering what happened to Delores.”

Jean faltered , thought about something she had said to Jade; ‘How can a person do what they did to her, Jade? How do you wake up one day and put on your list of things to do to turn an innocent woman into a parody of humanity? It was worse than rape, worse than anything I can think of. To be a slave would be bad enough, but to not even be able to dream of freedom?’

She shook her head, and continued, “Its... happening again, and I can’t do anything. I am the Phoenix, maybe the most powerful meta on the planet, and ….its not enough. I can’t save him; I cant help find the person responsible....I...I...”

“Jean, please. Just listen. I feel helpless too, but don’t give in to that feeling. We will find a way to contribute, to help somehow.”

“How? I am not a detective, or a policeman, or anything.”

“But you are a student of the school. Think about it, Jean, Colonel Monroe didn’t think of cell phone cameras. He will be looking for terrorists, rogue metas, that kind of thing. But remember Tanner. What if it was someone from the school, either as just a joke or as some kind of revenge? “

“Now, Scott. I want you two to be very careful.”

“I am not suggesting we play Nancy Drew. But we can keep our eyes and ears open when school comes back. See if we can figure out who is a likely candidate. If we suspect someone, we will let the authorities know, and let them look into it.”

“All right. But don’t take any chances. And keep that panic button handy when you go back to school.”

“Deal, Sara. Now, I will go home. Tomorrow is Saturday, so maybe we make it a movie night, and try and get our minds on happier things?”

“Okay, Scott. And... thank you.”

“For what?”

“Giving me something to look forward to.”

“I think that’s my job description as your boyfriend.” They kissed.

*****

The next day, they met at a mall, and tried to pretend it was just a normal weekend. They saw a romantic comedy, ate bad food at the food court, and window shopped. While wondering around, Scott pointed to a dress in a window. “That would look awesome on you Jean.”

“I...I don’t know, Scott. When I first transformed, I tried being as girly a girl as possible. But, other than last week at church, I haven’t worn a dress for a while.”

“I understand, Jean. But just for today, let me be the admiring boyfriend, and you be the beautiful girlfriend, giving me something to admire.”

“Okay, okay. But, we get the suit beside the dress for you.”

“How the heck are we going to justify spending the money?”

“Say we will save them for graduation.”

“I...don’t know if I could wait that long to see you in that dress.”

“Silly. I have to see if it fits, don’t I? And you have to try on the suit while I am changing.”

A short while later, they both emerged from their respective dressing rooms, and went “Wow!” at the same time.

Scott came close, and said, ‘You want to dance?”

“I...never learned, at least not from the girl side.”

“Just let me lead you, Jean. I know the boy part. We...had a shortage of guys when my school was teaching dance.”

He took her hand in his, and placed his other one on the small of her back. Gently, he began to steer her around the shop, and she felt like the world simply fell away. The shop, the canned music, nothing penetrated her bliss at the simple act of letting him take the lead. Everything she ever dreamed of as John about being a girl seemed fulfilled in this moment. Suddenly, she heard someone clapping, and The world came back into focus. She looked around, and saw the sales clerks applauding the two of them.

Both Jean and Scott blushed at the applause, and broke contact with each other. They then went to the dressing rooms to change back into their regular clothes, and came out to see the clerks smiling at them. Blushing, they took the clothes to the till. One of the clerks pulled Jean aside, and said, “You looked lovely dear.”

“Thanks. The dress is beautiful and Scott did all the hard part. I just tried to not step on his toes.”

Scott smiled at her comment.

“I wasn’t just talking about the dress, or even the dancing, although both looked very beautiful. I meant the look on both of your faces. I don’t think I have seen a couple looking so happy to be in love in a very long time.”

Scott came over, and said. “Jean is...a very special woman, and I am very glad if I make her happy.”

“You do. I hope I do the same. You deserve the best.”

“And I have it.” He kissed her.

The other clerk cleared her throat, and said, “I hate to break up the romantic moment, but I have to ask. Cash or charge?”

They made their way back to the food court, and then Jean felt her ring vibrate. She whispered to Scott, “Excuse me, I better take this. Cover me?”

“You got it.”

The image of Terra flickered above the ring, and Jean said quietly “Hay Terra. Can’t talk loud, I am in public.”

“Oh. That’s okay, Jean. I just heard on the news about something that happened at your school, and wanted to see if you were okay.”

“We are. Some people were not as lucky.”

““Sorry to hear that. But you said, ‘we’. That boy?”

“Yes... we are a couple, now.”

“So, how does it feel to be heterosexual?”

Jean giggled. “Normal, when you put it that way. Just new for me.”

“Well, enjoy it. And call me later with details about what happened, if you can.”

“I will.” Jean broke the connection.

Scott looked at Jean, and said, “You are not going to start feeling guilty, are you ?”

Jean smiled sadly, and said “Which one of us is the telepath? You read me like a book.”

“Wasn’t hard Jean, I feel the same at times. I feel like I am doing something wrong, by being happy when some of my classmates are in such pain. But I have been thinking, and I know I can’t help them by being miserable. If I can do anything at all, its going to take me having a clear head. And I feel like I cant have one unless we put this behind us, at least for the day.”

“I guess you’re right. But I don’t want to forget them, either.”

“We are not forgetting, we are living life. Monday, we can get back to seeing what we can do for them. But for the moment, we couldn’t do anything anyway, so relaxing is the best choice. So let go of guilt, and lets be … alive, okay?”

“Okay.”

Scott escorted Jean home, and kissed her on her doorstep so deeply she almost collapsed. “B...bye.” She managed shakily.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yes..I will see you at church.”

The next morning, Jean met Scott at the church, and listened to a sermon that started with a story Jean vaguely recalled. It was about a man blind from birth, and how the disciples of Jesus had asked whose fault that was. Jean leaned forward, as the pastor explained what Jesus had said in response, “this happened to display the work of God in his life.” She shook her head, and thought “I don’t see where she is going.”

The pastor paused, and it seemed like she was looking right at Jean. “Now, I am sure, some of you are wondering why I am bringing this story up. Well, most of you have at least heard about what happened at a local high school. While the details are still not clear, someone did something that led to a lot of students getting hurt. So many people in the city, and some in this congregation, are asking the question. ‘Why?’ They want to know, Why did this happen? Where was God when these innocent students were being hurt?”

“Exactly” Jean thought.

“Well, I would love to be able to tell you exactly why God let this happen. But I can’t do that, because I don’t know. But I know Jesus, and I trust Him. Why? Because he isn't some distant God who doesn’t know how I feel. But because He was a person, a human being. In fact he is described as ‘A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.’ So I can trust him, when I am grieving, when I don’t understand, because he has been there.”

After the service, Jean went to the pastor, and asked “Doesn’t the fact that stuff like this can happen make you doubt?”

“I am human, and that means, I have doubts. How about you?”

“I thought I knew for sure what was what. Now...I am not sure.”

“And maybe that’s exactly where you are supposed to be, right now.”

*****

Monday morning Scott and Jean returned to school. They soon realised that they were in the minority. More than half the student population were taking the day off. The staff had come in, except Mrs. Bloom and Mr. Cook. however, so Jean and Scott took advantage of the extra time to ask questions.. At lunchtime, Scott said to Jean, “I am getting nowhere. Nobody seems to remember anybody acting strangely before the dance.”

“Same here”

“Jean, I am sorry, but I’m starting to think Colonel Munroe and his people are our only hope of solving this.”

“I … would actually be glad of that. I wouldn’t like to think that someone who knew us could do that.”

“Me too. But I was hoping we could be helpful. I know how frustrating sitting on the sidelines is for you.”

“Yeh. All this power, and I can’t solve a simple mystery.”

“Well, maybe you were not cut out to be a detective.”

“That’s for sure. If Megan was here, she.... Oh God.”

“What is it?”

“I ….I meant to send her a copy of the song of the Phoenix, and completely forgot.”

“Jean, you are only human. Send it to her after school.”

“I...I just feel awful. She must be hurting so bad, and I haven’t done anything to even say I was thinking of her.”

“Let me repeat myself. You are only human, and you have been through a lot lately. Send her a copy, and a message saying you care, and give yourself a break.”

“You are an amazing person, Scott. I am glad I have you to keep me grounded.”

“That’s what I’m for. Lets get going, Lunch is almost over.”

Jean and Scott went back to classes, and met up after school was over. Scott took Jean over to the bench at “their” park, and said, “Jean, you look pretty bad.”

“Thanks for the complement.”

“Sorry. I’m just worried about you.”

“I will be okay, Scott. I just hate feeling helpless. There has to be something I can do.”

“Jean, I am helpless too. My power may be great at knocking down walls, but its pretty useless in this type of situation.”

“Sorry, Scott. But I am a telepath. You would think solving a crime would be a snap.”

“Maybe, if we had a suspect, you could find out if they were lying. Hay, that’s an idea! Ask Colonel Munroe if you could help that way.”

“Great idea! I’m lucky I got a smart boyfriend.”

“You are pretty smart too, Jean. You just need to start believing in yourself more.”

“I...I’ll try, Scott.”

“Good.” He kissed her. “Feel better?”

“Much.” She said, giving him a kiss in return.

“Mmmm. But we better stop sometime soon, or our families will be looking for us.”

Jean floated home. When she came in the door, Sara looked at her, and said, “Well. do I need to get a prescription for the pill yet?”

“Sara!” Jean blushed.

“Just checking.”

“The answer is no. We are still being...careful. He just helped me get through a crisis, that’s all.”

“Crisis? What crisis?”

Jean giggled “I think that’s a name of an album.”

“I am serious!”

“I was just feeling useless. I don’t think we can really help find anything out at all. It...brings me back to how I failed Dolores.”

“Jean, you didn’t fail anybody.”

“No, I did worse. I didn’t even try.”

“Well, you have been trying now.”

“And not succeeding.”

“Nobody is, at the moment. Colonel Munroe called, and told me they are having no luck either.”

“That’s ….less than comforting.”

“Sorry, Jean. I am just saying no one has any guarantees of success. You have been trying, and that’s all anyone could ask of you. Personally, I would prefer you not involved, because I don’t want to risk you getting hurt. But I understand how important feeling helpful is to you, so I won’t stand in your way. But I will not let you beat yourself up for something that is definitely not your fault.”

Jean hugged Sara, and said, “Thank you, Sara. I... I guess I just needed to hear that.”

“Just keep reminding yourself, when you feel guilty. Don’t put pressure on yourself to solve this mystery. We will figure it out, I feel sure of it.”

“I hope so.”

“I believe it. For now, try and focus on getting back to being Jean Grey, student.”

“And girlfriend to Scott.”

“Fine, that too. I still want to get you on the pill.”

“Don’t you trust us?”

“I do, Jean. But you have already had one experience of being not in control. Maybe next time, you won’t be able to stop in time.”

“Okay, point taken. See what you can do.”

“Already done. Here.” Sara handed Jean a round package.

“Planned ahead, did you?”

“Never hurts to be prepared.”

“I remember my girlfriends having this.”

“I am sure. Now, it only works if you use it, so make sure you don’t forget it, okay?”

“Okay. I know you are looking out for me.”

“Always, Jean, always.”

********

The week went by, and slowly, the school returned to normal. Almost all the students were back, except for David, Tanner, and a couple of others. The two teachers who had been at the dance had also not returned, but otherwise the staff was back at full force. On Thursday, Jean said to Scott at lunchtime, “Its like...everyone has agreed to pretend like it never happened.”

“I have noticed that too. Maybe that’s just a coping thing.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to forget. I want the person responsible found, and punished. But I don’t know how to make that happen.”

“Jean, I had an idea, and you can tell me it won’t work.”

“What are you thinking of, Scott?”

“Well, maybe you thought of it, but could you do a psychic sweep? ”

“There is still a lot of grief and confusion here. Its hard to stand it even without dropping my psychic shields.”

“I know, Jean, but couldn’t I … help? Keep you grounded, like you told me once?”

“That...might work, Scott. With your support, maybe I could learn something.”

“What will you need, Jean?”

“I will....need a place where I can concentrate, without being bothered.”

“I will ask the Drama teacher, Mrs. Adams, if I can book the theater. She likes me, and I could say I am working on a play.”

“Okay. Let me know if you get it, and for when.”

After class, Scott met Jean at the park, and said, “Its no good, Jean. She likes me, but wasn’t prepared to offer me a blank cheque, by letting me have the space to myself with you. At least not without her being there.”

“I should have realized that, Scott. Thank you for trying.”

“Please don’t get too discouraged Jean. I am going to keep thinking of options.”

“Thanks, Scott.I...I will try. Maybe I can think of something too.”

“That’s my girl.”

That night, Jean told Sara about Scott’s idea. “Its sounds rather dangerous, Jean. Maybe it was for the best that the teacher turned you down.”

“Sara, this thing is...eating away at me, I can feel it. I have to do something, or I will ….I don’t know. And his idea is sound. If I had someone to act as my anchor, I should be able to do the scan without it overwhelming me.”

“Okay, Jean. I will see what I can do. But you and Scott won’t be alone. I will be with you.”

Jean hugged Sara, and said “Thank you.”

“Understand, Jean, I am not happy about you taking risks. But I also understand how much this means to you. I will call Colonel Munroe, and if he is willing, he can get them to book the space. If anyone could get the school to cooperate, it would be him. But I suspect his price will be the same as mine. He will want to be there to protect you from any backlash.”

“I...I could live with him being there. He scared me the first time I met him, but I saw how he treated the students. If he is willing, that is.”

“I will ask, and that’s all I can promise.”

“Thanks Sara. At least I will know I did everything possible. Then I might be able to sleep at night.”

The next morning, Jean told Scott what Sara had said, and added, “I hope he can make it happen, Scott. Not being able to help was ...an ache in my heart.”

“I know, Jean. I hated seeing what it was doing to you. Try and relax in the meantime, and let them work on it, okay?”

“Okay, Scott. I need to start focusing on my classes. I might have been to high school before, but if I don’t watch out, I may not graduate this time.”

“Sounds like a plan. Meet you in the library during spare period?”

“Its a date.”

“Speaking of dates....”

“Yes?”

“Saturday?”

“Doing what?”

“Well, I was thinking there is a production of Romeo and Juliet showing downtown.”

“Romantic boy. You’re on.”

They kissed and headed for class.

That night, Sara told Jean, “I got a hold of the Colonel. He has agreed, and it is set up for Monday at lunch, in your theater.”

“That’s good news, Sara!”

Jean phoned Scott, and said “Sara arranged it Scott. We are going to give this a try Monday.”

“I’m glad, Jean. Even if we don’t get an answer, at least we will have tried.”

“Yes. We still on for the play tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

The next day,. Sara came into her room, as Jean was rushing around, and said, “Jean, don’t panic.”

“I have got to find something nice to wear to the play, Sara. I can’t just put on my church dress, but it has to be very dressy.”

“Way ahead of you. Here.” She handed Jean a bag.

Jean opened it up, and gasped. “Oh...its...beautiful! And perfect for the play. Thank you!”

“Have a good time. And remember your panic button, okay?”

“Okay.”

Scott came to pick Jean up, and said, “Wow, Jean, that’s a beautiful dress.”

“Thanks. But you can’t borrow it.”

“It looks a lot better on you anyway.”

“I don’t know, Scott. That Halloween costume dress looked pretty good on you.”

“Well, if you think so, maybe i should borrow one for going to the play. It would be in keeping with Shakespeare's time, to have a boy play a girl.”

“Don’t you dare. I like you in that suit, and I want to show off my handsome boyfriend, not my pretty girlfriend.”

“Yep, showing off a pretty girlfriend is my job.”

“Alright, alright. You two better get going.”

“Yes, mother.”

“Shoo!”

*****

After the play, Jean said, “That was a beautiful version of the play. You know, as John, I avoided stuff like that. Since I was already struggling with wanting to be a girl, I didn’t dare do something so...girly.”

“I understand, Jean. Once I transformed into Scott, I discovered admitting you liked anything feminine was pretty much a social death sentence.”

“I guess things haven’t changed that much.”

“In some ways, no, but it is a bit better for gays and such now. We still have a long way to go yet.”

“Maybe by the time we have kids it won’t matter if they are gay, straight, or anything.”

“Kids, huh?”

Jean blushed. “Sorry. I was...daydreaming.”

“Its a nice dream, Jean. I can’t imagine wanting to have a child with anyone else but you.”

“And up until I met you, I couldn’t imagine having one with anyone. But maybe not just yet, if that’s okay with you.”

“Suits me fine, Jean. One step at a time. Let’s get through this crisis, first.”

“Oh... God, I was having such a good time, I almost forgot.”

“That was kinda the idea, Jean. Monday, we can deal with that. For the weekend, let’s just be two kids.”

“Two near-adults sounds better.”

“Can they be madly in love with each other?”

“That has my vote.”

“Glad you approve.” He kissed her.

The next morning, Scott and Jean went to church. The pastor stood up, and said, “Today, we are going to do things a little differently. A family member of someone who has attended this church would like to say something.”

A teenage girl got up, and Jean whispered to Scott, “That’s the girl we saw at the gym, coming out of David’s area.”

The girl cleared her throat, and said, “Hello...My name is Brenda Burton. My brother, David, has been going to this church for a while now. He..was always bugging me to go, but somehow, I never got around to it, until today. Unfortunately, I come here for the first time to pass on some sad news. My brother attempted suicide Thursday, and he is... in hospital right now.”

The congregation gasped.

She continued, “Last night, he asked me to come here, and tell all you people thank you for trying to being there for him, and that he is sorry he let you all down.” She stopped, and started crying.

“I....I am sorry. Its just... I feel like I am the one who let him down. He … finally told me everything he has been fighting all his life, last night, and I am ashamed that he didn’t feel like he could tell me before now. You see, my brother...felt like a girl, his whole life. And thanks to what happened at Halloween, that secret feeling has come out, and nearly cost him his life. This morning, on his request, I went to his room and found the diary he has been keeping, and I... finally got to know the sister I never knew I had. And … its not fair. Its not fair that she felt she had to hide, that she felt unsafe being herself, even in her own home. Its not fair that she came to hate herself, to the point she was willing to throw away her life, because she couldn’t see herself as anything but a freak.” She paused again, and then continued, “I saw the pamphlets you carry at the entrance, and I hope they are more than just words. I hope that if someone like my....sister came here, she would be welcome. Please pray for her. Pray that she recovers, and that someday, she, and people like her will never feel like they don’t belong. Th...thank you.”

Jean wept openly after the girl finished, and Scott held her as she cried. They went to his house, and she sobbed for a while, before she said, “I...I will be okay, Scott. I...I don’t think I have ever heard anything so moving in my life.”

“I ...I was fighting tears too, Jean. Brenda was right. Whatever the trigger was, its ….not fair that her sister couldn’t just be herself.”

“I...I don’t know if it would bring her any comfort, but I still want whoever caused this stopped.”

“Maybe it would Jean. But that’s only one step. We should see what we can do to make sure that if she comes back to school, she could come as her real self, and be welcomed.”

“That’s a good idea, Scott. Its something to look into after Monday.”

When Jean got home from church, she told Sara what she had learned, and said, “I blame whoever did this for what has happened to David, Sara. It’s one more reason why we have to find them.”

“Colonel Munroe called, and he and I will meet you at the school. We will do this during your spare period. But I still have concerns about this. Its not too late to back out..”

“Honestly, Sara I am scared too. But I know I have to try. For David, for all the victims.”

Sara sighed, and said, “I can see you are determined. Well, see you at school tomorrow.”

The next morning, Jean told Scott what Sara had said, and added, “I am going to have trouble waiting.”

“Me too, Jean.”

Several times during the morning, Jean looked at her watch, and thought, “I thought it was later.”, and when the time for her spare came, she thought, “Finally!” She went to the theater, and found Scott already waiting, along with Sara and Colonel Munroe.

Colonel Munroe said, “I have arranged for the news about David to be broadcast over the school intercom, Jean. Maybe that will shake up the guilty party, if they are here.”

“Thank you for letting me try this, Colonel.”

“Sara told me how much this meant to you, Jean. But in all honesty, I wouldn’t have agreed, except that my investigators aren’t having much success, and every day that goes by means its less likely they’ll have any.”

Just then, the PA system came to life, and they could hear the principal say, “Your attention, please. I have been asked to pass on the fact that one of the student hurt at the dance Halloween night has taken a turn for the worse. All of us here hope that they will be able to recover.”

Scott asked, “Do you think that will be enough to shake up whoever did this?”

“It couldn’t hurt, Scott.” said Colonel Munroe.

“Let’s get this started.” said Sara.”

Taking four chairs, they sat in a circle, and Jean asked them to hold hands. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “I will try, now.”

Slowly Jean let her power rise. As she did so, she could feel the support of the three of them, and it gave her confidence to keep going. She paused to smile at Scott. His love for her, his confidence in her, made her feel like she could do anything. She felt herself rise into the air, as her power flowed.

It took several minutes for her to begin sorting out the thoughts and feelings in the school. She went lightly from mind to mind, trying to intrude as little as possible. Finally, she shook, and dropped to the ground, while the three others staggered in their seats.

“Jean? You okay?” Scott asked.

Jean rose to her feet, and said, “I am okay. I know who did it, and where they are.”

Colonel Munroe went to pull out a radio, and said “Tell me, Jean. I will have a man go there.”

“Let me lead the way, Colonel. I... I need to talk to him, first, and I don’t want the other kids to panic if we can do this quietly.”

“Alright, Jean. Lead the way.”

Jean started toward the exit of the theater, when Scott caught up to her and took her hand. “You okay, Jean?” He asked, “Back there you looked.... you were amazing, but it I could feel some of the pain you were getting.”

“I will be, Scott. But I...well, you’ll see when you see who it was.”

She led them to a classroom, and Scott said, “Oh, no. the chess club room?” Jean nodded.

They went inside, and found a young man sitting quietly looking at a chessboard. Jean recognised him from being at the dance.

“Danny?”

“Hello, Jean. It was you I felt in my head, just now, wasn’t it?” His voice was hoarse.

“Talk to me, please.”

“It was David, wasn’t it? The announcement they made? He...we played, every week. He always gave me a good game.”

“He is in the hospital, Danny. But please. what happened? What did you do? Why?”

“I … I was stupid, Jean. I...I have a blog, and I have been writing about the crush I have on Helen, the captain of the cheer squad. And when she broke up with her boyfriend a week before the dance, I actually really thought I could have a chance with her. I’ve seen that movie ‘Revenge of the Nerds’, and I thought...I could go to the dance and sweep her off her feet. Then, I got a email, that said I could...improve my chances with her, and had a chemical formula attached.”

“So you made up a batch to add to the punch.”

He nodded. “Except I must have screwed up. Instead of making everyone a little more relaxed, and maybe a touch more ...amorous, well, you were there. I had taken a little myself, to steady my nerves, so at first what was going on didn’t faze me. Then I saw Helen with Mrs. Bloom and...I freaked out, and ran home.”

Colonel Munroe came up, and put a hand on his shoulder, and said, “You will have to come with me, you know.”

“I...I understand. Please, believe me when I say I ...never meant for anybody to get hurt. And when most of the students came back, I ...I thought I got off lucky. But David...I understand I have to answer for what I did. I....considered turning myself in before, but I..I know i won’t last long in prison. And maybe that’s what I deserve.”

“Young man, you will be in my custody, and I don’t let things like that happen. But it would help us greatly if you would cooperate, so we can track down whoever sent you that email.”

Danny stood up, and said, “I....I will, sir.”

Colonel Munroe spoke into his radio, and a minute later, a soldier came and took Danny into custody. After he was led away, the Colonel said, “All this... havoc, because of he wanted to get a girl?” He swore, and then looked at Jean and Sara, and said, “Sorry, ladies.”

Sara laughed, and said, “I have heard worse, and said worse, Colonel.”

Jean added, “Me too, especially when I was John.”

Colonel Munroe said, “Maybe, but I was raised to be respectful around woman. In any case, I better get going. It sounds like we are not done yet. We need to find out who sent that email, and why.”

“Good luck, Colonel.” Scott said.

“Thank you. And thank you for your help, Jean.”

“Thank you for letting me help. At least I wasn’t on the sidelines, doing nothing...this time.”

The Colonel left, and Jean turned to Sara, and said, “Sara, I...I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your thoughts, but some things....came through wen you were supporting me.”

Sara smiled, and said, “I guessed they might.”

“And yet you were willing to help, even though it might mean your secret got out?”

Scott came up to Jean, and put an arm around her waist, and said, “I won’t even ask what secret.”

“Its...not a horrible secret, but I would ...rather it didn’t become public.”

“You could tell the Colonel, Sara. I...think he would understand.”

Scott said, “I am really trying to hold in my curiosity here, but you two are making it hard.”

Sara sighed, and said, “Jean and I have something in common, Scott.”

“What do you mean?” Scott asked.

“We were....both male, at one time.”

“You’re a meta?”

“No. While Jean and you got your current forms thanks to the metagene, I....had to take a longer and harder route to be the person I am.”

“Oh. oh.... Well, Sara, I won’t tell anyone. But if you don’t mind me asking, why did Jean say you should tell the Colonel?”

“Because, I...have had a crush on him, since before I was who I am now. And he is ...an old fashioned guy. I don’t think he could deal with that.”

Jean said, “Well, Sara, you weren’t the only person I was being supported by. And...all I can say is, he might surprise you.”

“I will... give it some thought. Now, I think you are due to return to class soon?”

“Yes. I’ll see you at home, Sara.”

“Goodbye.”

Sara left.

At lunch, Jean said to Scott, “I feel like a huge weight has been taken off me, Scott. Just making a contribution, helping out, it feels....wonderful. On the other hand, I feel kinda bad for Danny. He was being stupid, but its .. understandable. People will do crazy things for a crush. ”

“I agree with that. I’m glad I don’t have to resort to those kind of measures to be with you.”

“Me too for you, Scott.”

******

A couple of days later, when Jean came home from school, she did a double take. “Sara? You look....fantastic! What’s the occasion?”

“I am... actually having a dinner date. You can manage on your own for the night, right?”

“Of course. Is your date with a certain Colonel of our acquaintance?”

Sara blushed, and said, “Yes. But before you start planning our wedding, its just a first date. I...want to take it slow, and not force it.”

“There is taking it slow, and then there is not moving at all, Sara. At least you have taken the first step. I would wish you luck, but I don’t think you will need it.”

“Thanks Jean. Now, I better make sure I am not forgetting anything.”

“Are you bringing….protection along?”

“Jean!”

“Sorry, just wanted to see you blush. It...looks good on you.”

“You are bad. Good night, my dear.”

“Night.”

******

“They went on a date?” Scott asked the next day. “Good for Sara!”

“I’m happy for her too. She deserves a good man, and he is that, in spades.”

*****

A week later, after the Colonel left the house, Jean asked Sara, “Its going well?” He looks pretty smitten, if you ask me.”

“I think he is. There is only one hiccup. I … haven’t told him my past yet. I... I have faced many bad people, and never been afraid. But I ...I’m scared to death of his reaction.”

“Sara, I... I can’t give you advice. But, I know if I was him, I’d feel darn lucky to have you, no matter your past.”

“Hay, who is supposed to be the mom here?”

“I have a suggestion. Maybe have a double date with Scott and I. That way, if it goes badly, at least you have us.”

“I...appreciate that, Jean. But I don’t want him to feel ganged up on.”

“I understand. I have been meaning to ask him how the hunt for the person who emailed Danny that formula is going.”

“He … hasn’t talked about it, Jean.”

“Been busy talking about other things?”

“Yes, and no. I... I think tomorrow, I plan to tell him about my past.”

The next night, Sara came home from her date, and said “Jean, you still awake?”

“Yes. You need to talk?”

“I... I told him, Jean. He... got very quiet, and we ended the night early.”

“I’m sorry, Sara. Maybe I read him wrong. But maybe he just needs to think a bit. Its not an easy thing to take in one go.”

“I hope you’re right. I...I don’t want to lose him over it, but I realize now I can’t be with someone who can’t handle the truth.”

The next day, Colonel Munroe came to the door. Jean answered it, and said, “Colonel, I have to say, I am ….disappointed in how you have treated Sara.”

The Colonel said, “Let me talk to her, Jean. Its between us. Please let us talk privately.”

“Fine!” She said, and stormed out the door. Her anger carried her a couple of blocks, but then doubts started seeping in. She thought, “How could I have misread him so badly? If I could be that wrong about him, can I be sure of anybody, even Scott?” She cried, and said to the stars, “Please, don’t let me be wrong about Scott. Please.”

Just then, her phone rang. She looked at it, and read “Scott” on the screen. She flipped it open, and said, “Hello? Scott?”

“Oh, thank God, Jean. Are you okay? I just got the worst feeling about you.”

“Scott, I …”

“Jean, I can tell somethings wrong. Can I meet you somewhere, or can you make it here?”

Jean looked around, and realized she had walked more than halfway to his house. “I...I can be at your house in a couple minutes, Scott.”

She finished walking to his house, and rang the bell. He opened the door, and swept her into his arms, saying “Are you okay?”

“I am now, Scott. your call was... an answer to a prayer.”

“Talk to me about it, Jean.”

Shakily, she told him about Colonel Munroe’s reaction. “I feel responsible, Scott. I encouraged her to go out with him, and pushed her to tell him everything.”

“Jean, she is a grown-up, and she made her own call. But it was more than that, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, Scott. I am sorry to say, I started to doubt you. I figured...”

“If you were wrong once, you could be wrong again? Well, I understand. But I want you to believe in me, and trust me. Can you?”

“I … want to, Scott. But frankly sometimes I wonder what you see in me. I am so needy and scared all the time, you could do so much better.”

“I could not, Jean. Look into my heart, and see how I see you.”

Jean let her power rise, and touched his mind, his heart, and his soul. “Oh...my. That’s ...how you see me?”

“Yes. Can you trust that?”

“Yes. Can you forgive me for doubting you?”

“You are human, Jean. Frankly, I have felt the same way, that I wasn’t worthy of you.”

In answer, Jean touched his mind again, and showed him her heart. “Do you see now, my love?”

“I...I see it. We are...one, now. Always.”

“Always.”

They kissed, and then, Jean’s phone rang. She groaned, and looked at it. “Its Sara.”

“Hi Sara.” She said into the phone, “You... doing okay?”

A moment later she hung it up, and Scott asked, “What did she say?”

“She just asked me to come home as soon as I can. I ...I hope she’ll be okay.”

“She will be, with you to help her. Go. I will see you tomorrow.”

Jean walked quickly home, thinking, “I … I really hope she is okay. I will burn Colonel Munroe if he’s hurt her.”

Ten minutes later, she walked into her door, to find Sara smiling. “Jean, we talked it through. He was upset, not at my secret, but how long it took me to tell him. He said it made him feel like I didn’t trust him. We have worked it out, and everything is.... wonderful.”

“I’m glad, Sara. I was feeling a little responsible for putting you in a position where you could get hurt.”

“I am a big girl, Jean. But thanks for the concern.”

“You are more than my minder. I .. care about you almost like you really are my mother.”

“Thank you, Jean. That means a great deal to me. Because of my … condition, I can’t have kids of my own. But I couldn’t love one of mine any more than I care about you.” The two hugged.

Two days later, Sara told Jean, “Jean, Arn just called.”

“Arn?”

“Whoops, Colonel Monroe, I mean.”

“Really? Arn?”

“Short for Arnold.” Sara blushed.

“Well, what did ‘Arn’ have to say?”

“He would like you to come in. Apparently, he has caught a break on the case, and would like your help.”

“Sure! I will tell Scott I am going, if that’s okay.”

“Do that. We should leave as soon as you’re done.”

Once on the base, they were ushered into Colonel Munroe’s office, and he said, “I am glad you would help. I have a possible suspect in custody, but I need to know if he is telling the truth or not. Could you tell if he is lying or not?”

“I can try, Colonel. I can’t promise you anything, but I will try.”

Colonel Munroe took Jean to a room, and said, “This room has a plate of one-way glass. you will be able to see him but he will not be able to see you. I will go in, and see what he has to say. Use this device, “ He handed her a small mike, “And I will be able to hear you.”

“Okay, Colonel. I will try my best.”

He entered the room, and said to the man sitting in a chair, “So, according to my investigators, your name is …”

“Jeremy Gent. And I want the world to know it.”

“I will see what I can do. Now, what’s your connection to Warren Worthington High?”

“Why none. I just happened across the young man’s blog, and it sounded like as good as place as any to try out my formula.”

“And what exactly were you hoping to accomplish?”

“Well, not to brag, I am a major player with A.I.M.”

Jean buzzed the Colonel, and he said to Jeremy, “I will be right back.”

He came out, and said to Jean, “Did you get something already?”

“Yes. He isn’t any major player with anybody. The term running through his mind is ‘wannabe’. He is .. a nobody, and hates it.”

“Did he do it? Did he make the formula?”

“I...I think so. I see a formula in his mind. I can write it down, and you can compare it with the one that was used.”

“Sounds like a plan. So did you get anything as to the real reason why he wanted it used?”

“Something about as an ‘audition’, He hoped to impress someone at A.I.M. Who is A.I.M., anyway?”

“Advanced Idea Mechanics. They are weapons developers and dealers. Nasty bunch. Does he know how to actually contact them? That could come in handy.”

Jean closed her eyes. “No, sorry. He has this vague idea that they would find out about what he did, be impressed, and ask him to run things for them. Its all...a pipe dream.”

“Thanks, Jean. I will get Sara to show you out.”

Jean left shaking her head, and started crying on the trip home. “He.. wasn’t the monster I expected, Sara. He was...pathetic. All that pain and sorrow, and he was... just a sad little man trying to be someone big.”

“At least its over, Jean. And hopefully, life can get back to normal.”

“Not for everybody.”

“You’re thinking of David, aren’t you?”

“Him, and Mr. Cook, mostly. Mrs. Bloom and Helen too, I guess.”

“Well, while you were playing detective, I got a chance to read a little love note Arn left for me. And I think you will appreciate its contents. David has been accepted to begin transition. She has...decided on the name Deborah. She will ...be okay.”

“And Mr. Cook?”

“Rose Cook is doing fine as well. ‘Hell on heels’ was the phrase used.”

“That’s wonderful. It...doesn't make things right, but at least something good was salvaged.”

“And sometimes, that’s the best you can hope for, Jean. As you and I both know, gender issues are... complicated, messy, and painful. But it can have good points as well. When I am with Arn... well, he makes me glad I am a girl, that all I went through to live honestly was worth it.”

“I am glad, Sara. I... didn’t have to make the kind of sacrifices you did, but whenever I feel overwhelmed by my transformation, Scott seems to be able to bring me back from the edge. There is only one hiccup. I..I want him, physically, but I...I don’t know if its right, or at least not right now. And he feels the same. Is that....wrong?”

“Jean, despite what I am sure you hear every day from the media, you don’t have to jump into bed to prove anything. You both know how you feel, and there isn’t any timetable you have to meet to take it to the next level.”

“I know, Sara, its just that...as long as I haven’t ….done that I am still ...hanging on to my old life as John. Does that make sense?”

“Jean, I understand perfectly, because I have struggled with the issue with my own transition. Part of me wanted to do it quickly, to almost get it over with, and part was reluctant, if only because I wanted it to be something more meaningful than just casual sex.”

“Yeh. So what do I do?”

“Try not beating yourself over it. Considering the two of you, there would be nothing ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with taking the next step now. But there is also nothing wrong with waiting if you are not sure you are ready. And it sounds like Scott will support you, either way. Waiting can’t be easy on him, either, but he obviously respects you too much to push.”

“He does, and its one more reason why I love him. I don’t know I would have had that much self control when I was John. I never pushed, but I ...always figured that had more to do with my gender stuff as anything else.”

“You are probably not giving yourself enough credit. I believe you were a good man, because you are a very good woman.”

“Thank you. That means a lot. And I can say the same about you.”

“And that means more than I probably can express, Jean. When I first transitioned, I … struggled with feeling like a fake. I felt like I could never be a ‘real’ woman, much less a good one.”

“I’m sorry Sara. If it helps, I can’t see you as anything else, and I am sure Colonel Munroe feels the same.”

“So he tells me, Jean. And yes, it helps.” The two of them hugged.

The next day was Sunday, and Jean and Scott went to church. When the service started, the pastor stood up, and said, “A couple of weeks ago, I asked a young woman to speak to you all. Today, I have another speaker for you. Mr. Burton?”

“That’s Deborah's dad?” Jean whispered to Scott.

The middle-aged man stood up. “I...I wont keep all of you long. My name is Robert Burton. My daughter came here and spoke to you about her...sister. I …. I wanted to tell you all she is going to be okay. And .. I wanted to apologise. To her, to my family, and to God through this church. I … rejected my own child, and it almost cost her her life. Then Brenda, my other daughter, gave me her diary to read. As I read of her struggle, her pain, and worst of all, her fear of me, it... cut me to my core. I prayed all night, and all the nest day. I couldn’t deny the portrait my child’s words painted of me.”

He paused, and choked back tears. After a few moment, he continued. “I had let my prejudice and pride rule me. I... scared my only child, so much she thought it was better to die than face me. I know I don’t want to be like that anymore I am asking for your prayers that I can change, and that someday, my family can forgive me for the wrong I did to them. Th.... thank you.”

He was about to sit down, when the pastor came up to him, and hugged him. She said, “Forgiveness is the first lesson of our faith. Jesus said, ‘If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven.’ I am sure it would be tempting to tell this hurting soul that he has crossed a line too far. That we cannot forgive him. And yet, I know what Jesus would do. Will all of you here do it with me? Will you forgive?”

The church as a whole said, “We forgive!”, and Robert collapsed into his chair, crying.

After the service, Scott went to join the line of people who were going to where the man sat, touching him, hugging him, letting him know he was loved. Jean looked at Scott for a moment, and then fell in line behind him.

“What can I say to this man? How can I forgive him? And yet, when I made mistakes, did stuff wrong, and hurt people, I got forgiven.” She thought, and touched him as she went by.

A couple of days later, the phone rang, and Jean answered, “Hello?”

“Jean, its Colonel Munroe.”

“I’ll get Sara for you.”

“Actually, I want to talk to you. I would...like to offer you a job.”

“A job?”

“Work for us, officially.”

“I... would like to. But I am still in school, and I don’t want to lose my time with Scott.”

“Alright. I understand, Jean. Maybe we could make you a ‘consultant’ and work around your schedule. But think about it as an option when you’re out of school, okay?”

“Okay. Could Scott be involved? I do better with him, and his power might be useful too.

“That’s …. not a bad idea, Jean. Talk to him about it.“

“I will. Bye.”

She got off the phone, and then told Sara. “It sounds good, Jean. But I agree you need to wait. The occasional job on the evenings or weekends is one thing. Maybe full time over the summer, like as an intern. But I would like you to continue to have as close to a normal life as possible. And that means staying in school.”

“And spending time with Scott.”

“Alright, and spending time with Scott.”

******

The next day, she told Scot what happened. “Wow, Jean. Imagine us, being like secret agents.”

“Yeh. But I want to graduate first before I do it full time. I don’t mind helping out on occasion until then. But only if you’re with me.”

“Try and keep me away.”

“But you sure you want to work for the government?”

“We wouldn’t be working for the government. We would be working with Sara and Colonel Munroe. Two people we trust, two people we can count on. That’s the difference.”

“You’re right.”

Scott grinned.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Just picturing us as spies, Jean. Me, in a James Bond suit...”

“Me in Halle Berry’s bikini ?”

“Oh, God, Jean. I am having enough trouble keeping my mind from going there without you helping.”

She smiled at him. “Believe it or not, its hard for me too. But we can do it. We both want it, but we both want it too be right.”

“And it will be, when it happens.”

“Something to look forward to, don’t you think?”

“As long as I don’t go crazy while waiting.”

“You wont. And hopefully, neither will I.”

“Hmmm, me driving you crazy, you driving me crazy, while we learn to be spies. Sounds like fun.”

“Definitely.” She kissed him.