It was almost noon on Wednesday before I emerged from my bed in search of a cup of coffee and looking as if I’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. Fortunately I was not due to begin work until the following day.

Julie had already been up for several hours and was working on her mother’s spreadsheet. She appeared to be able to switch between the ditzy blonde - only interested in nail varnish and eye shadow, and the well-organised accountant with an understanding of legal and financial matters way beyond her years. Today she’d dressed simply in slacks, a top and with only a smattering of makeup, but still looked great with her long hair and immaculate finger nails. I noticed also that she’d changed her earrings again. I was beginning to feel decidedly frumpy in comparison with my younger sister. I tried to picture her as a guy might do. There was still an element of boyishness in her appearance, but I could see that once she started taking oestrogen and began to develop a more rounded figure she would quickly grow to look ‘drop-dead gorgeous’. It was no wonder that she wanted to have the operation as soon as possible, for she’d soon have men queuing round the block after her.

Perhaps it’s just as well for me that you’re still only fifteen years old.

‘Hi Julie, you look smart this morning,’ I croaked, happy to congratulate her on those occasions she dressed sensibly.

She gave me a nice smile, and immediately realised that she couldn’t, in all honesty, return any compliment on my appearance.

‘Thanks Jenny. You look as if you had a good time last night.’

‘Yes thanks,’ I answered in a voice conveying that I didn’t wish to go into any more detail at that time.

I went downstairs to make a coffee and a minute or so later she joined me.

She hesitated for a minute before adopting her girly voice. I was instinctively on my guard as I’d been caught that way before.

‘Jenny — We’ll soon have to decide what we’re going to do about that week in Thailand at the end of August that my mother had booked before she died. It is only five weeks away. Mum had already paid for the air tickets and the hotel.’

We! What has this to do with me?’

‘I expect you’ll be able to claim at least a partial refund, given the circumstances, or maybe you could claim something from her travel insurance, if she had any,’ I said.

‘Yes that may be true, she continued, brushing my answer to one side, ‘But I was wondering whether you’d like to go with me in her place? It’s only for a week and it wouldn’t cost you anything,’ she asked tentatively. I’ve checked with the travel agent and there would be no difficulty in changing the booking.’

‘And you’d use the opportunity to visit the clinic and collect your supplies of female hormones,’ I replied.

She blushed for a moment, but then looked defiant

‘Yes I would, but that’ll probably only take an hour or so and it needn’t involve you. I’ve already seen the consultant once with Mummy and he’s expecting to see me again just before I’m sixteen. We’d be staying in Bangkok and there would be plenty of other things for us to see and do.

‘I don’t think so Julie, after all I’ve only just found myself a job and haven’t even begun working yet.’

‘You would only need to miss three days, and you’d probably be able to swap shifts to make up the time.’

‘But how will you get there since you don’t have a passport in Julie’s name?’ I asked.

‘I’ll just have to travel there and back as Julian,’ she replied with an expression of profound distaste. ‘But I can always dress androgynously and then change back to Julie as soon as I go through the passport control.’

‘You’d have to lose your precious hair and nail extensions,’ I commented.

‘Yes, worst luck, but it is a few weeks away and I believe that we’ll have received the legacies from Daddy by then and so I would be able to afford to pay Susie to put them back for me afterwards. It’ll be worth it if I can obtain my supplies of hormone tablets, and can really start my transition. Please reconsider,’ she said with her large entreating eyes.

She seems to be learning her body language quickly enough,’ I thought, but I held firm nevertheless.

‘And what about these hormone tablets, how will you get them back through customs?’ I asked trying to avoid making eye contact.

‘They’re only the same as contraceptive pills. It’s not as if they’re dangerous or illegal drugs. I intend to post some of them to myself and then take the remainder in my luggage. I doubt if they’ll attract any attention from the sniffer dogs, after all a good proportion of the holidaymakers who go to Thailand will be ‘on the pill’ already,’ she replied. ‘Maybe you could take some for me as well?’

‘Now hang on a minute Julie, I haven’t said I’ll be going. I’ll have to think about the implications of what you’re asking. I’m not even sure that I’d be able to get the time off work or afford to have a week abroad, even if the fare and hotel are paid for.’

‘It should only take a couple of weeks after your interview at the Probate Registry next week before the grant is made and we can access his bank account.

‘And what would happen if I were to be caught travelling with a minor who was trying to import pharmaceuticals?’

‘They’ll have been prescribed for me by a doctor and I’d only just be a minor by a matter of days,’ she replied.

‘Yes but you’d still be a minor nevertheless,’ I replied.

‘I suppose so,’ she answered looking downcast by my response.

I felt like ‘Wicked Witch of the West’.

‘Look, I don’t know, just give me a few days to think about it, alright,’ I answered irritably.

‘Yes of course,’ she said in a subdued voice and returned to her spreadsheet.

I went up to my room and started to read through the accommodation pack from Nottingham University. It included a letter asking me whether I wished to take up an offered place in their Halls of Residence or find somewhere to live in the private sector, and gave me a list of private accommodation in the area. I’ve never been a great one for communal living, and the thought of sharing a kitchen and bathroom with four or five others of my age wasn’t very appealing. It would be just my luck to be put in the same flat as students who’d never been called upon to lift a finger at home and couldn’t even wipe their bottoms properly. I’d either end up sharing their squalor or else be irritably clearing up behind the others, and labelled as ‘little Miss Clean Freak’. On the other hand moving in to a bedsit in a town where I didn’t know anybody held few attractions for me either. I’d be bound to move in to the same lodging house as someone learning to play the bagpipes, a serial killer who blocks the drains with body parts, or else a rapist who targets female students living on their own. I wasn’t sure which of these two alternatives would be least objectionable.

I didn’t really know too much about Nottingham beyond its association with Robin Hood and the wicked Sheriff. It had been the course rather than the city which had attracted me to apply there. My parents had taken me on one brief visit to the campus for the Open Day but we’d driven to the campus straight from the motorway and then returned so I didn’t get any chance to look around the surrounding area. I still had a few weeks before I needed to commit myself and so I began to wonder whether I might organise a trip to Nottingham with Joe to have a look around before making up my mind. This would also mean leaving Julie on her own for a couple of days, so I didn’t speak about my idea straight away.

It was my turn to cook for us both that evening. Julie offered to do it for me, but I didn’t wish to take advantage of her good nature and in any event suspected she may have had an ulterior motive in doing so. For once; I didn’t do too bad a job as we sat down to a dish or pork chops in a cider sauce. After complimenting me on my efforts, Julie started to make general conversation, but I could tell what was really on her mind.

‘Julie, you forget that I too was once fifteen, so stop trying to ‘butter me up’ in order to raise the matter of Thailand again. I’m not going to come to a decision until I’ve had a chance to think about things.’

’Now I really am sounding like my mother.’

The following morning was the first occasion that I tried to dress myself as ‘a daisy’ ready to go into work. Julie insisted on checking my makeup before we left, having first made a pretty good job of her own.

She goes to work in a salon for a single day and suddenly she’s become the expert?’

‘You need to look smart on your first day at work,’ she said as she brushed on some eye shadow, eye liner and a little blusher.

‘Now you’re now beginning to sound like my mother,’ I responded scornfully.

She ignored my comment and continued with her work.

‘There, how does that look?’ she asked.

I must admit that it was an improvement, and the extra makeup didn’t make me look like a slapper, as it would have done if I’d tried to apply it by myself.

‘It’s alright, I suppose,’ I admitted, and as an afterthought I added, ‘thank you very much.’

I then discovered that I’d never be able to drive the car safely wearing the pencil line skirt and high heels provided to me by the store, so I had quickly to put on some trousers and flats for the journey and get changed at work. I just made it on time, but made a mental note to leave myself a bit more time in the mornings.

After that first occasion, I let Julie finish off my makeup each morning that I was due to go into work. She was clearly a fast learner and soon became far more proficient and discerning than me. The upshot was that I tended to wear more makeup than I otherwise would have done, but she started coming home with free samples from the salon, so it didn’t cost me anything. On the other hand, I believe that I began to be a good influence on her fashion sense over the next week or two as well. By means of a combination of judicious compliments, occasional sarcastic comments together with one or two gifts of tops from work (I did now qualify for a staff discount) I gradually managed to get her dressing more like a teenager from the 2010s and less like one from the 1990s.. I would have liked her to make one or two purchases of her own, except that I was aware that she now only had enough ready money for a couple of weeks, pending the arrival of the Grant of Probate.

My sophisticated look and new found interest in clothes seemed to go down well at work, as I began to develop the skill of knowing which designs or colours suited individuals, and so I found myself able to offer advice to customers, whilst still keeping a straight face. The manageress of my department even hinted that if ‘Human Geography’ at Nottingham didn’t live up to my expectations, there might be an opening for me in ‘Ladies Wear’ in Bracknell. (I didn’t tell her that I’d far rather spend my life in a nunnery in the middle of the Ghobi desert.) My choice of geography was as a means for me to see some of the world and perhaps spend a couple of years undertaking Voluntary Service Overseas, not to end up selling frocks in some urban wasteland with as much architectural merit as a Soviet Gulag. I therefore politely declined her suggestion although saying that I might well be interested in returning for vacation work for the duration of my course. However, I find that I’m getting ahead of myself and also beginning to digress and so must return to the story of my sister and myself.

Julie didn’t say anything more to me about the proposed trip to Thailand for a few days, but we were both aware that the need for a decision was looming in the background. I wasn’t sure what to do so I thought I might discuss it with Susie, as she was the only other person who knew about Julie’s situation. I called round to see her one evening, when Joe was engaged in some utterly mindless pursuit involving bats and balls. Susie began our conversation by telling me how helpful my sister had been and how quickly she learned things.

‘I feel a little guilty because she works so hard. I wish we could pay her and let her loose on the clients, but she wouldn’t be covered by our insurance if she were to poison somebody or dye their hair bright green. However, if she’s still around once she’s sixteen, we would be happy to give her a Saturday job when she’s not at school.’

‘I wouldn’t worry for the time being, she seems to enjoy helping out and is pleased with the free products you give her; but aren’t you anxious in case someone guesses her real sex?’

Sue shrugged.

‘Nobody has said anything so far, in fact she’s popular with both the customers and the other staff. As far as my mum is concerned she’s your pretty little fifteen year old cousin called Julie.’

‘I worry in case my mother should take it into her head to have her hair done at your salon.’

‘She’s never done so before, but even if she did, would she recognise Julie as your former step-brother?’

I thought for a moment.

‘No, probably not, Julie looks quite different from Julian now,’ I admitted.

‘Maybe I need not be quite so paranoid about keeping her hidden at home in Woodley.’

I then told Susie about the suggested trip to Bangkok and its true purpose.

‘I must admit I quite like the sound of a free trip to Thailand, my parents have never ventured any further than Spain,’ I said.

‘Me too,’ replied Susie.

‘But I’d be concerned about her bringing back these hormone tablets with her,’ I said.

‘Well it’s not as if she’s trying to import heroin or crack cocaine into the country; it would just be a year’s supply of birth control pills, and demonstrably they are for her own use,’ she replied.

‘Yes I suppose so, but I’d still be technically responsible for her, and I’m sure that there must be a law about giving a minor access to female hormones,’ I said.

‘You could deny all knowledge of them, if she’s caught, but you should warn her first of all,’ suggested Sue.

‘The trouble is that she seems so determined, that if I don’t go with her in August, I suspect she’ll try and go by herself in September when she is sixteen and then would be in danger of getting picked up by all kinds of undesirables.’

‘But then she would no longer be your responsibility.’

‘I know, but she’s still my sister after all, and she’s not as worldly wise as she thinks. I suspect that any sweet-talking guy would sweep her off her feet and steal all her money, before she even got through customs.’

‘Would it help if I were to go along as well?’ she asked. ‘I’d have no objection to bringing back a three month supply of contraceptive pills through customs. You could do the same; I can’t see that causing any problem for us..

‘Would you like to go?’

‘Yes it could be fun if it’s not too late to alter the booking. It’s some time since I’ve had a proper holiday.’

‘What about Geoff?’

‘Oh, he’s booked to go to the Reading Festival with his mates. It’ll be nearly as expensive as a week in Thailand and they’ll just get drunk or stoned.

‘That would be fine by me, if you’re happy to come along. Of course Julie will have to travel as Julian, but you could help to change her back afterwards.’

‘Perhaps you’d better check with Julie first.’

That evening over dinner I raised the topic with Julie once again.

‘Regarding the trip to Bangkok, how would you feel if Susie came too,’ I asked.

‘That would be great, if she can get a flight,’ answered Julie.

‘Alright, assuming I can get the time off work and we can get Susie a flight we’ll come with you, but there’ll be conditions.’

‘What sort of conditions?’

‘You’ll have to change into Julian each time we go through passport control, which means that you’ll lose your precious hair and nail extensions until we get home.’

‘Alright, but I’ll be allowed to wear a wig and dress as Julie at other times, won’t I?’

‘I suppose so,’ I replied. ‘Secondly, you must promise me that you’ll not take any oestrogen until your sixteenth birthday when you’re no longer my responsibility. I’ll not be held responsible for your wish to become a woman — that was a decision taken by yourself, your mother and your therapist.’

‘Yes, I agree,’ she replied. ‘I’ll be sixteen a few days after we get home.’

‘Thirdly, Susie and I’ll carry a small supply of your pills through customs for you, pretending we are on the pill. This should be enough to keep you going for a few months. If you want to post some more to yourself, that’ll be up to you and will be your responsibility. Once you’re sixteen and we know exactly what drugs have been prescribed for you, I’ll see if I can help you to obtain some in this country.’

‘Oh Jenny, thank you so much,’ she said getting up to give me a hug.

‘As soon as I’m sixteen and have some money available I’ll try and find a private doctor who will co-operate with managing my transition. I hope that he or she will provide me with additional supplies, once I’ve used those that I get from Thailand.’

I nodded, but wondered whether or not we were doing the right thing.