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New York City in the January isn’t the warmest place to be, and this year it seemed to be colder than usual. The snow in New York doesn’t have the same purity one might associate with a Norman Rockwell painting, and as it crunched under my feet, as I made my way midtown to the Port authority, I longed to escape from it. In a city, or maybe just in this particular city, the snow always appeared to be dusted with some sort of soot. I don’t know if that soot came from the cars or the buildings, but it served as a damning metaphor for my life. That is what I felt like, I thought as I waited for ‘walk’ sign to give me permission to cross the street. I felt like soot covered snow, pure on the inside, but somehow appeared dirty to others on the outside. Perhaps that is why family and friends found fault with me.
Maybe I shouldn’t say family since it was only my mother and my half-brother and half-sister and we hadn’t been family since the police took me away when I was nine. As for people, I hadn’t made any friends in the three and a half years in the city as I returned to make yet another failed attempt at forming some bond with my mother.
Maybe it really was me, I mused as I crossed the street, maybe people couldn’t see past the darkness that I projected as a safety precaution. I could understand it intellectually. If I was hurt by those closest to me, how could I grow to trust someone who started out as a complete stranger? Though I was tired of being alone, it sure beat the heck out of being devastated by someone either taking advantage of me or stabbing me in the back. Up until now life had not been kind as it pertained to how I and people interacted and the prospects of that improving seemed bleak.

I reached in my pocket and rubbed the four hundred dollar bills together. My funds were running low, I wouldn’t even have money to pay my weekly rent the rest of the month and my electricity had already been cut off in the one room apartment I rented. If it wasn’t for the steam radiators that are prevalent in New York, I suppose I would’ve frozen death weeks ago. But as soon as the Christmas shopping season ended, so did my employment at a local department store. Even though I worked my tail off and did more than management required of me, they decided to keep less dedicated, but more sociable, employees. My financial outlook was in shambles and so was my quality of life.

I needed to get out of this place, out of this prison named New York City or it was going to be the death of me. Luckily, I had money saved up that I was planning on buying a car with; that was when I thought my last job was going to stick, but I could see that wasn't going to happen now though. The other day I had a dream that if I stayed in the place I was my life would be over. Pretty much it already was. Getting as far away from this hell hole was what I needed to pull myself out of the rut I was in. I decided Florida was as good a place as any to go to, so with about $400 dollars, a duffel bag full of clothes and my Bible I headed down to the Port Authority bus terminal.

The Terminal was busy; there isn't a place in this city that isn't busy. There is barely even a place one could escape to where they could just breath and think. I waited in a line that seemed to have no end, content in thinking that this was the last New York experience I would have in a while. I finally got to the counter. The lady standing there, neither looking friendly nor acting courteous, asked "Where ya going?"

"Tampa, Florida" I replied

"That will be $110 sir."

"One-ten!" I all but shouted, "The web page and your ads say 79 bucks anywhere." I pointed to the sign that hung just behind her.

"Sir, that is with a 7 day advanced purchase. If you want I can arrange for it to be for next week."

"Lady, I have no place to stay for a week, and if I spend $110 I won't have a place in Florida either. Isn’t there anything you can do?"

"Sorry sir"

My frustration level was rising. It was at that point a gentleman tapped me on the shoulder. Being in New York I spun around, ready to defend myself if needed. Standing in front of me was a well-dressed gentleman. He had on a brown sports coat and white turtleneck, his well groomed blonde hair and mustache made me realize that he probably wasn't going to mug me. I relaxed a little, but my guard was still up.
"Sir," he started, "Sorry for prying but I couldn't help but overhear your dilemma. I don't normally do this, but we have a charter bus going back to the Tampa area and we have one seat open if you want you can come with us. After all it's what the good Lord would want us to do for a fellow brother in need." He chuckled a little and tapped my Bible.

"I would love to; you're a real life saver.” I let out a heavy sigh, a second ago I was trying to save 30 bucks and now it looked as if I were going to save the 80 I was planning on spending on the ticket originally. “If you knew the trials I was going through this winter." I laid the Christian 'talk' on pretty good even though I wasn't as close to God as I knew I should be. It wasn’t that I was living a life of sin or decadence, but with my recent fortunes going so poorly, my faith was wavering.

"Then it's settled, meet us at gate 47. We will be leaving in about half an hour."

I thanked him again and watched him walk away. A half hour gave me enough time to get a hot dog from a vendor right on the street. There is nothing like a New York hot dog, best meal for a dollar. That is probably the only thing I would miss, the abundance of cheaply priced meals, even though my waistline could do without for quite some time. I still had 20 minutes and, not knowing the condition of the bus, I decided I better use the restroom facilities while I could.
I did my business and was washing up. I looked at the reflection in the mirror. How did I get to be so fat? I did not like what I saw staring back at me. I saw a decent looking face hidden under too much fat, a hairline that was receding and gray hair. Too much gray for being 27, when I get to Florida this look will be gone if I have to kill myself to accomplish it I will be presentable. Hardly did I know I was speaking more prophecy then I realized. Departure time was nearing and I decided to head towards the gate to be sure I wasn't left behind."

I found gate 47 and standing there was a pretty woman, about mid 30's I would guess. She had long, flowing brown hair and her blue eyes had a glimmer to them. Her khakis and blouse did little to hide that she was a very fit person and I tried my best not to appreciate her form any further. I didn't see the gentleman that I had talked to and hoped this wasn't going to create a scene. She waved over to me and that made me relax a bit. I strolled over to her.

"Hi, I'm Linda. Ken told me to look for you."

"Oh, his name is Ken? We didn't actually introduce ourselves before. I'm Kevin."

"How do you do, Kevin? It is nice to meet you," she said warmly as she held out her hand.
Being the gentleman I was I took her hand and received a feminine shake. “It is nice to meet you as well,” I said, minding my manners and keeping things polite.

"Is that your only bag?"

"Unfortunately all I own is in here, but it's enough to get by."

"Let’s put it underneath the bus with the others for now. We will be making stops along the way for food and such."
I handed Linda my duffel bag. Seeing that all my belongings were in there, one would think I would be hesitant, but for some reason I felt I could trust them. I watched as she loaded it under the bus on top of some other bags, I noticed that the most of the bags there looked like they were for the younger crowd.

"Okay, Kevin, hop on in. We'll be leaving soon."

I climbed on the bus. Ken was sitting in the driver’s seat. I smiled at him when I saw him. He smiled back warmly and gave me a tip of his hat. "Glad you made it, just take whatever seat is open and enjoy the trip." He said and motioned his head towards the back.
I turned and to my amazement the 30 seat bus was filled with young girls. "What did I get myself into?" I wondered to myself as I surveyed a group that didn’t have a member any older than ten years old amongst it. I made my way to the back where the only seat available was. Sitting by the window was a pretty little girl; she had long blonde hair and hauntingly beautiful blue eyes. She was dressed in a parka and what looked to be 3 layers of pants. She looked at me and smiled cutely.

"If you want the window I'll move sir." Her voice was soft and had a very sweet lilt to it. Her voice sounded like the youthful innocence I missed out on while growing up as it rose to my ears. Even in the few short words she said I could tell she was very well mannered

"No honey, that's OK, I'll sit on the end."

Her face lit up, I guess she really did want that window seat after all. "Thank you." she replied in the same sweet voice but this time a little more bubbly, which a second ago I wouldn’t have thought possible.

I sat down on the thick padded bench seat, glad that I wasn't sitting next to an adult. My large size usually made trips uncomfortable for me and whatever poor sap I sit next to.

"Are you ready to get back to warm weather?" Ken shouted.

The kids screamed and hollered "yeah" and cheered some.

"Then lets move out!" and with that the bus started to roll.

This trip was definitely going to be interesting with all these kids.

"Mister, my name is Nicole. What's yours?" my seat buddy asked.

"I'm Kevin,” I replied, being more friendly than I normally was when I met a new person, but I figured what damage could I little girl do to me. “May I say, Nicole is a lovely name."

"Are you going back to your family?” Nicole asked in an overabundance of enthusiasm. “That's what I'm doing; I haven't seen my Mommy and Daddy in a whole week."

"No Nicole, I don't have any family down there in Florida."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, a hint of disappointment was evident in her tone. "Are you going to miss your family then since you’re going to Florida?"

"I don't have any family here either,” I said, even though it wasn’t entirely true. My mother was in New York with her son and daughter, but they stopped being my for a while. “I haven't for a long time."

"That's sad, you must miss them terrible."

"Sometimes I do, but I don't even know where they've gone and it's sometimes for the best." I looked away. That was true, I don’t know where they had gone, I didn’t lose them to a place, they lived in the same building for the past twenty years. I lost them to circumstances and their own selfishness, in their life their was no room for me.

With that the conversation died down a little. Linda came back, checking on the kids, and I supposed, me too.

"Linda, is there any way to get some heat?" I asked as the bus seemed a bit cold. “We've been driving for about an hour and I assumed it would have kicked in, but it hadn't."

"Sorry," she replied "the heat went out earlier in the week on the way up and we couldn't afford New York prices to get it fixed. We have some hot cocoa if you need something to warm you up."

"Yes please." I replied politely.

Linda came back a half minute later and gave me a shot of hot cocoa and it did help a bit. I looked over and saw Nicole reaching under the seat, she pulled out a big purple quilt, it had some silver stars on it, some looking very far away, and others close like a pulsar.

"Mister, if you want you can share with me."

"I can't turn that down, but please call me Kevin"

"O. K. Kevin", she giggled "Get on under, it's big enough for two."

It was a very thick quilt, and large too, maybe queen size. The warmth was well welcomed. Nicole was evidently brought up well and was very courteous. My own half-brother and half-sister were the total opposite, and thinking of her question about family before made me glad I didn't see them anymore. It did make me curious to get to know her family situation though.

"So looking forward to seeing your mom and dad again, huh Nicole?"

"Yes, New York was fun but I missed them so much you can't believe." Her excitement about seeing them made me picture them as great, loving parents.

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"No," she frowned, "I wish I had a little sister but mom can't have any more kids, so it’s just three of us, four if you count Jesus."

"You know what Nicole, I wish I had parents like yours, and then I'd be looking forward to seeing them too."

I really don't know why I said what I did; I didn't really know anything about them. I guess because of the excitement Nicole was displaying, I kind of felt sorry that my parents weren't there for me as they should.

"Ya, a little sister would be nice to play with and to do stuff with" Nicole continued.

I figured she mentioned sister because she was picturing her own little fantasy and giving little thought to what I said. I was probably the same way when I was her age, I would’ve wished for a little brother back then so I would have someone to play baseball with. Of course, that was before I knew then what I knew now. "You would make a terrific big sister Nicole; I can tell already. I wish I had a sister like you when I was growing up."
Nicole just laughed. "It's getting dark. I think I'll nap now Kevin."
She was right it was getting darker out and these bus trips seem to take any energy out of you. For some reason my eyes seemed to be getting heavier and heavier, a nap did sound like a great idea.

"Kevin can I hug up on you to get warmer?" she asked.

"How can I refuse?" I put my arm around her shoulder. For some reason it made me feel safe to be holding her, like a puzzle piece of my life had just been connected. It was a quaint thought at least. I laid my head back, counted a few snowflakes and drifted off to sleep. "Soon things will be better, I'll be in Florida, nice and warm" I thought as for the first time in a long time I contently fell asleep.

~o~O~o~

My dream was odd. It was odd not only because the content, but because of the fact that I realized I was dreaming. I was standing in a bathroom, a dank, secluded bathroom at that. I was looking at myself in the mirror. The fat man in the mirror stared back aimlessly. In a moment the fat began to melt away, the gray hair was turning dark again. I looked healthy again. Then I started getting younger. I didn't realize it at first, but there I was 20 again. Now the mirror reflected me as a teen. But the image wasn’t of how I was in reality, but the reflection was of a skinny teen, one the stood proud and was muscular, which I never was. Then the image changed to what I actually looked like at 16, fat and unhappy. I saw two people in the reflection laughing at me. Then the fat faded away and I saw a girl in the mirror, petite and cute. I didn't know who this was; I figure probably a mixture of several girls I knew back then. Then my face again, this time younger, maybe 10, maybe 8, but without the overbite I had. Then what I actually looked like back then, fat and disproportionate. An image of me wheezing up the stairs played in the mirror to remind me of how life was for me. Then the mirror showed the girl again, only this time younger as well. The image showed her running, I wish I knew who she was, she's a doll. The mirror returned to show me again, but this time as a 3 year old. The first image showed me as a little pudgy boy playing happily with his toys. The next scene showed a more realistic view, of me crying in the corner, covered with bruises. In the image I saw my mother standing over me as a toddler, "You'll never be good enough, it was such a mistake to have you, you've ruined my life." This dream swapped from joy to horror so quick that I was unsettled and yet wanted to see where it lead. Then I saw that girl again, now three also. She was sleeping on a huge sofa, sucking her thumb and clutching a doll.

"I wonder if I'm seeing the love of my life" I spoke in my dream. Maybe I'm seeing her life during the times that we were the same age, maybe I'm to meet her when I get to Florida." That thought warmed me greatly.

The next image came into the mirror. It was me again, sleeping. It was odd because I was sleeping on my back, which I never do, I always need to be on my side or stomach. I got a view from further away.

"Wait, it’s a casket" I yelled. "I'm dead!" Two guys started to close the casket. "No wait! I can't be dead, I can't!"

I woke up with a gasp. I was covered in sweat. I must have sweated off 20 pounds, I thought. The seat felt comfortable though, more so then when I first got on. Someone must have put it up while I was sleeping. I didn't even think it moved. Then I came to my senses where I was. I hope I didn't wake Nicole, she's been so nice. I looked down to check, I saw a pair of pink pants.

"Oh no, how embarrassing,” I thought to myself, “I must have moved in my sleep and now I'm on this poor girls lap.”

I sat up and leaned back, covered completely in the quilt. My head hit the back of the seat. That's weird; I didn't remember the seat coming up this high. I didn't want to remove the quilt from my face; I knew it was an embarrassing situation and my only hope was that no one else noticed. Slowly however, I removed the quilt from my eyes. It was light out again, I must have slept through the night. My eyes were blinded and I rubbed them with my fist to get the crud out. Even though I couldn't see I looked down and whispered "Are you awake Nicole?”

I heard a voice over me. "Ya, we're an hour away from home." She must have stood up to stretch.

"Nicole you should sit in case the bus stops short."

"OK"

I rubbed my eyes again, finally regaining my sight. I looked down to see her again, but I only saw her lap and the bottom part of her shirt. I got disorientated.
This can't be happening; I should be seeing her pretty little face. I followed the shirt up, she must have changed, I saw cartoon girls on her shirt and looking further up I saw her face.

"Hi down there." she giggled. She now towered over me; my face was even with her chest.

"I must still be dreaming" I said out loud.

"Nope." she replied.

"Nicole this has to be a dream, this stuff doesn't just happen."

"We got our wish."

"Our what?" My mind scrambled as I tried to make sense of a situation that was incomprehensible. I also noticed an add occurrence internally, it felt as if my consciousness was trying to leave me.

"Our wish,” Nicole bubbled over. “I wished for a little sister and you wished you had a sister like me and parents like mine, don’t you remember."

"Oh, a wish that..." I trailed off, and then I looked down. The shirt I was wearing the previous day was draped over me. I slowly lifted it and saw a pair of pudgy legs. I pulled the sleeves and saw little arms.

"Oh my God I'm a toddler again" I yelled inside my own head.

Then it hit me. "Little sister." My hand went inside the shirt and I reached down and felt down my stomach, which was a little pudgy too, I reached to feel for my manhood, it wasn't there.

I don't know if it was the actual transformation or the shock of it all, but I got extremely light headed and fainted into Nicole's arms.

The hour passed quickly, because Nicole was shaking me to get up once again.

“Phew, only a dream,” I thought. A dream within a dream, I have heard of those before. I opened my eyes again expecting to see some normalcy. It wasn't there; I looked up and saw Nicole's smiling face looking down at me.

"Stay here until everyone gets off,” Nicole instructed. “I looked into the aisle and the rest of the troupe was filing off the bus. Ken started down at the aisle towards us.

"How do I explain this?" I wondered.

Ken was now towering over us. "Who is this?" he asked.

"A wish come true Mr. Ken." Nicole replied.

"And how is that?"

"The wishing blanket." Nicole said, smiling and holding up the purple quilt.

"Did our friend here know it was the wishing blanket?” Ken admonished the little girl.
What caught me as odd was that he was not at all shocked that a twenty-seven year old man had turned into a baby girl, but he rather seemed concerned if I knew it was going to happen. I wanted to answer him myself and say, ‘of course I didn’t know, who would want this to happen,’ but I kept quiet.

Nicole giggled, "I kind of forgot to tell him."

Ken got down and looked at me. I was still in a state of shock.

"Kevin, Nicole's parents can help you get out of this mess, I'm terribly sorry, she's not even supposed to have that thing with her."

"Come on Nicole let’s see your parents." Ken said sternly. I hopped out of the seat, still half in a daze. The clothes I was wearing fell to the ground. I was now standing on the bus completely naked.

Nicole started to laugh. "Isn't she adorable?"

"Nicole, that's enough" Ken warned.

I didn't have the nerve to look down and see what my body had become. Ken wrapped me up in the shirt that use to barely fit over my former body and carried me to the front.

I hadn't been carried in a long time; the feeling was quite unsettling. Ken explained what had happened and how Nicole somehow tricked me with the wishing blanket. I couldn't see what was going on; Ken was holding me with my back to the conversation. Were they laughing, were they mad? I hoped they weren't like my parents, I hoped they wouldn't take a belt to Nicole.

"We'll take care of it." I heard Nicole's parents say. They put me down in their car, a Lincoln. I always take note of cars, kind of a fascination I have with things I can’t really afford. I watched them take my bag , my old clothes that were left behind on the bus and my Bible and throw them in the trunk. They took Nicole's bag to and threw it in there too. Nicole opened the door and got in the back seat with me.

"Sorry for laughing at you on the bus, but you were so cute," she gushed.

I gave a faint smile, happier more in the fact that her parents would help me then anything else. Her parents got in the front seat.

"We are both real sorry about this, this wasn’t supposed to happen until we explained things to you and that it was something you really wanted. I guess when we get to the house we better have a conversation about all this," they called back to me.

"Ya, a conversation and then some," I thought. Then it hit me, they said this wasn’t supposed to happen until. That means eventually they planned on this happening. But how? They didn’t even know I would be on the bus. Maybe they meant that eventually they were going to find someone to convince to do the inconceivable. I also realized that I was actually mentally holding onto my consciousness, the essence of everything that was me and that if at any moment I let it go, I might not ever get it back and I would be whatever this new life was to become.

The ride was uneventful, well uneventful other then the fact that I was going nuts. Nicole was holding onto me, rocking me in the car. I didn't object to that, in fact I found it kind of comforting. I might have something joyful out of this experience. Then I felt a warm liquid creeping down my leg.

"Oh no, I'm peeing." I tried to stop the flow of liquid from escaping my body, but I didn't know which muscle to squeeze and I thought if I crossed my legs it would only make it spread worse. Even though I was embarrassed and it was a little gross, the warm liquid felt nice on my bare skin that was under the blanket. The car pulled into the driveway of a modest home, it was big, but it was not like it was a mansion.

"Someone had an accident" Nicole tattled as the car stopped.

"Great, like they needed to know," I thought. In hindsight I suppose they would’ve figured it out even if she didn’t say anything. Nicole opened the door and while holding me like a baby we got out of the car. A tall blonde haired woman came towards me, she was extremely pretty. My face however was beet red.

"Oh don't be ashamed,” she cooed as she knelt down to be on the same level as me and Nicole, “it's only natural. Kevin, you wouldn't know how to control yourself at your age."

I nodded. She reached out and took me in her arms. "Still being carried," I thought

"Let’s get you cleaned up and then we can have a little chat." I didn't see anything wrong with that. She carried me into the house; I noticed it was a very nice layout. I thought to myself that Nicole’s parents have done well for themselves and that maybe after I was back to my old self they can offer me a room till I get settled to make up for this.

"Come on and help dad with the bags Nicole." I heard a deep voice call. "Hon, you go clean her up."

"Her," I thought, mildly offended. "I guess for now."

"I'm Amy." Nicole's mother said to me, "You can call me that or anything else you want." She added the final statement with some hopefulness, but I was unsure of what she was trying to imply.

I could think of some words now, I thought. But it wasn’t her fault this happened.

"Okay Amy", my tiny, high pitched voice called out. It shocked me to hear myself speak and a part of me wanted to actually cry. Luckily the part of my consciousness that I held onto kept me in check and reminded me to never show another human being a weakness. “As soon as you show a weakness,” my consciousness told me, “that’s when you really get hurt.”

Amy carried me into the bathroom and started running water. “Sit here on the floor while I get what we need,” she said kindly. The woman removed me from the shirt that was wrapped around me and placed me on the floor. The tile felt cold against my bare bottom. The coolness sent shivers through me, shivers I never felt before, shivers that felt strangely enjoyable. I looked at the floor, and for the first time I saw my new female parts. The new anatomy actually scared me. Then I saw liquid flowing out, "oh no, not again." I had given up on trying to figure out how that worked and just let nature finish its course. The warm liquid formed a puddle around my foreign anatomy and my butt, giving a weird but pleasing sensation. At that time Amy came in,

"I see we've had another accident." She lifted me up, "No worries Kevin," she said calmly, seeming unphased that I soiled her floor. She dropped a towel and wiped the mess up with her foot. Amy then placed me in the tub, the water was warm and soothing. She shut the faucet off. The warm water felt so nice, it was a long time since I had a bath. Yesterday I was too big to fit in a tub, today I'm afraid I'll go down the drain.

Amy soaped up her hand and began cleaning me. She started with my legs. It felt so nice having a woman touch me, even if it wasn't in the regular context that I was used to and generally longed for. She moved up my leg and rubbed soap on my new feminine part. She didn’t seem to mind even though my remaining consciousness was warning me to be aware that abuse may shortly be taking place. Outside of what my mind was telling me waves of pleasure rippled through my young body and I didn't know why. It didn’t appear as if Amy was doing anything out of the ordinary to induce such a result or that she was doing anything remotely vulgar. Yet it felt so nice to feel her rubbing in the middle of my newly formed body. I didn't say anything, afraid what she would think if she knew I liked what I was feeling, even though part of me was conflicted over the whole experience. She probably would think something was wrong with me, like I was some sort of perverted freak. She washed my behind too and moved up and got my back and chest and face as well. With a cup she rinsed the soap off, maybe this experience isn't as bad as I thought it would be and besides it’s only temporary.

Amy turned and got a towel. She pulled the plug out from the tub and asked me to stand. I did as instructed. Amy lifted me in the towel and patted my body. That too was a great feeling. She carried me into a bedroom and laid me on a bed. "I don't know how you're going to feel about this but I have to dress you for now."

"Dress me however you see fit." I replied, impartial to the whole mess and just wanting everything to be resolved as quickly as possible

Amy turned around holding a bunch of baby clothing placing them down next to me. I was lying on the bed, on my back, completely naked and completely vulnerable. My consciousness that I was fiercely holding onto and afraid to let go of was screaming at me. “For a guy that had been taken care of so poorly in life, how could you trust her?” But there was another small part of me that was battling my subconscious that was telling me that it was okay, everything would be alright, that I could let go of my fears and still be safe. Either way, I didn’t feel I had any say in the matter, especially if I wanted to return to my former self.

Amy lifted my legs, and I submissively laid there and let her. She slipped a pair of pampers under me. "We can't have messes on the floor all the time" she said jokingly. I smiled back, after all what could I do. She pulled the pampers around and fastened the tape. The diaper was warm and quite comfortable, and it relieved some anxiety. "Sit up honey, I mean Kevin, and let me get this dress on."

Why not, I thought. I was a girl, at least for the moment; it was a dress, nothing wrong with it. It was a pretty dress at that, pink with white sheep around the skirt part of it. For some reason I felt good to be in. Might as well play the role for the few minutes more I'll be like this.

"OK, let’s go downstairs and have a talk." Amy said as she picked me up and carried me into a family room.

Her husband and Nicole were sitting there waiting for me. I studied Nicole carefully, no red marks, no tear bags under her eyes. Good. I looked at Nicole's Dad, a big, muscular man, clean shaven with short brown hair. His suit looked expensive.

"I'm Bob," he said looking down at me. "Some situation we have here, right Kevin?"

"Yes, sir." Why I said sir I have no idea, but I did. "When are you going to change me back?"

"That's what we need to discuss. First off I wanted to apologize for Nicole, you being changed on the bus was not something that we had planned or had wanted to happen"

"But you can change me back, right?" There was a fear that he would say no that I was permanently trapped like this and would have to relive childhood again. I remember that didn’t go so well the first time.

"Yes we can, but is that what you really want? You did in fact wish for this?"

Defensively I replied, "I was being polite to Nicole, I didn't think it would come true. I want to be changed back."

"OK. Let’s discuss this for 10 minutes and if you still feel that way, we won't stop a thing. Deal?"

"Deal,” I said out loud even though the consciousness that remained was sending me all sorts of warnings.

"First, what happened to you is no accident, we don't believe in accidents. We've been praying for you for a long time, ever since knowing my wife couldn't conceive another child we've been praying. God allowed us access to the wishing blanket to make our prayers come true. But we didn't pray for just anyone, we prayed for you specifically. We knew that you would be coming home with Nicole; we knew that you would be one of God's children. We know by all the underlining in your Bible and all the ear marks that you are a child of His. Now we were expecting you to come to us in your adult form, wanted to explain to you things as adults and offer you an opportunity that might be beneficial to us all, but it seems that Nicole was a little bit impulsive and you didn’t get proper time to mull things over."

"But what about my life, isn't it wrong to take that away from me?"

"Yes, it is wrong to take your life as Kevin away from you, but what does your life hold for you?"

I wanted to answer something but couldn't think of anything.

"Let me ask you this, do you have family?"

"No, I'm single."

"I wasn't referring to that, but how about mom or dad?"

"They aren't part of my life, haven't been for awhile," I answered meekly.

"How about a job, do you have a good job?"

Looking down at the floor I answered "No."

"Do you have any job," he pressed even further, almost as if he knew I was a complete failure thus far in life.

I didn't even bother answering. Part of me wanted to look offended, but I think it would come off as a look of being hurt by the truth.

"Money, property, fame, anything?"

"No." I answered as my bottom lip was quivering.

"What about love, does anyone love you; does anyone in this world want you, or even care about you?"

The tears streamed down my face "No."

"You are wrong Kevin. We want you; we want you to be our own child, our baby."

"But I'm 27!"

"Look at yourself Kevin," Bob placed a mirror down in front of me, "now tell me are you 27 or are you more like 16 months"

I studied the mirror carefully. No fat guy looking back at me, only a teary eyed baby. A baby in a pink dress with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"I see a baby, but inside..."

"What is inside? What is Kevin holding onto that's so important? Is it the neglect of his parents, the feelings of worthlessness, the pain of abandonment? What is so important that you need to be 27 and unhappy again?"

I opened my mouth, but not a word came out. But I knew I still had my consciousness, the thing that was allowing me to have this conversation and make sense. I knew I was holding onto it as much as it was trying to hold onto me, and I knew if I ever let it go while I remained in this form I may never let it back.

"Can't you see Kevin, we want you. We have love in our hearts and we want to shower it on to you, we want you to feel that love, to know that there is a place in this world for you, to raise you in love and happiness."

At this point I was crying so much I couldn't say anything, nonetheless come up with an objection. I cried and blubbered, not knowing how to hide the pain of 27 years.

"Do you want to be Kevin again?" Bob asked.

Through my tears I said "No."

"Then come here my precious baby."

A well of emotion came over me, I ran to him. I ran to his open arms, to his love. He wrapped his big arms around me, his hand cupping my buttocks.

"Welcome to the family, baby" he said smothering me with kisses. Amy kissed me too, I could see her crying. Bob passed me off to her.

"Oh baby, I wanted you for so long, I wanted our family to be complete." She said as she wiped the tears from my eyes.

"What's my name? It can't be Kevin if I'm going to be a girl."

"That's right baby, little baby Karen, my sweet angel Karen." Amy kissed me again.

"Nicole, take baby Karen up to bed with you and take a nap like good little girls." Bob said as Amy handed me to her.

Nicole carried me up to a pink and white room.

"Karen, we're sending the wishing blanket to Goodwill, last chance to change your mind."

"Not on your life" I called out in my miniscule voice. They all laughed, not at me but with me.

Nicole laid me on a big four poster bed and took my dress off. She got undressed as well and sat on the edge of the bed in just her panties and me in just my pampers. She pulled back the covers, I climbed under and she followed. She wrapped her arms around me and I snuggled against her bare chest. "I'm glad I got a baby sister now" she whispered softly in my ear. "Ya, I'm glad we both got our wish" I replied. I looked up and gave her a butterfly kiss on the lips. I closed my eyes and returned to her chest. Feeling at peace, feeling safe, feeling that I finally found home, I fell asleep knowing that I made a full commitment to join a family I didn’t even know. But I wouldn’t allow them all of me, I still held onto the consciousness that was my old 27 year old male self and until I knew it was safe, if ever, I would hold onto that for dear life.

~o~O~o~

The sun was just about setting as I woke up from my nap. I was curled up next to Nicole, her arm was around my shoulder as her hand kept my head close to he chest. The warmth of her body heat gave me the sensation of safety and love. I heard a small tapping, I didn't notice it during my sleep but it was constant. I rolled over to see Bob putting together something, it was so far from completion that I couldn't make out what it was meant to be. Nicole stirred behind me; I noticed that the clock displayed 6 p.m. I felt a small hand rub my bare back. It startled me at first, but I didn't show it.

"Never show emotion," I thought to myself, "that way it can't be used against you."

"I'm glad you're up Karen, it felt good holding you, it gave me the fuzzies." Nicole whispered into my ear.

"Ahuh," I mumbled back, still waiting to see if this was a dream or when it was going to turn into a nightmare.

"I see my two angels are up and about," Bob said with a smile as he put down a hammer and turned to us.

"Ya Bob; traveling all that way takes a lot out of me. So what you got going over there?" I asked.

Bob gave me a quizzical look as he propped him self up on the bed. "You're a bit too small to have a big girl bed like Nicole, so I ran out to the garage and got the crib we bought for you a few months ago. Instructions are a mess though."

"Need any help?" I asked.

Bob laughed, "You, my little friend, are in no shape to help me now."

I chuckled too, my laugh was light and high pitched, and it almost frightened me when it came out of my body. I suppose he was right, I probably didn't have the strength to use tools or hold anything up.

"Let's see if we had any accidents during our nap" Bob announced. With that he cupped his hand between my legs and slipped his thumb under the elastic band. I sat there submissively, but I did not like this at all. "I suppose we made it through alright. He released me and I was able to sit up.

"Hey," I said, trying to change the subject and shake off the awkwardness of having a man feel between my legs, "there should be a game on. Do you get the Magic games?"

"We do, but..." Bob started.

"Great," I interrupted "I would hate to miss that." I climbed out of the bed and waddled out the door. It wasn't so much that I was a huge basketball fan, but I felt uncomfortable with someone who was going to put a finger in my underwear. My balance was so poor that walking was a struggle. Don't get me wrong, he didn't do anything that was questionable for a parent of a child this age. But, I am not a baby, even if my body appears to be one and I thought he should’ve at least asked first. It’s not like I wouldn’t have noticed if I had an accident. He could’ve said, “did you wet yourself?” And I could’ve answered truthfully and not have to feel so uneasy about things.

I found a room with a TV. I think it was the master bedroom. I guess I should have asked, but I went right in. I turned on the game, but wasn't really watching.

"Oh, Kevin," I thought to myself. "What in the world have you gotten yourself into? You let them play with your emotions and look at what choice you made. You couldn't back out now if you wanted to. What is ahead of you now, being a child again, going through that kind of hell? They spoke a good game, but how can you believe them? Stupid, stupid, stupid. You have to think, how many times have you been crushed because you wanted love, don't you ever learn? Maybe that blanket is still here, maybe I can back out. Your life may not have been great, but at least you controlled yourself, could keep people at bay Now you’re an infant and at the mercy of strangers."
The buzzer for the half went off and Amy walked into the room. "Hon," she started "we have a ton of dolls and toys for you to play with, wouldn't you rather be doing that."

"Hi Amy," I turned towards her, "no offense but that isn't the sort of thing that I am into. A Sunday newspaper perhaps or dinner? Now that would be great."

Amy looked a little put off, "Oh, sorry baby. Dinner is going to be in a few minutes."

She left the room. I sure hope I didn't hurt her feelings, but she's got to realize I'm still who I am. Well maybe not physically. She will have to get adjusted to who I am, we just met. I hope she doesn't keep calling me baby or any other pet names. I smelled the air. "Mmm, steak!" I thought as the aroma danced on my senses. Bob came in, picked me up and carried me downstairs. I didn't like this being carried bit one bit, but I doubt I would of been able to make it down the stairs without it. I was put in a highchair, I didn't put up a fuss, it was a logical choice.

"Boy am I hungry," I stated, "and I haven't had steak in a long time."

"I'm glad you are looking forward to your first meal." Amy said as she placed Bob's plate in front of him. It was a great cut of meat, with potato and green beans. She filled her own plate and Nicole's next. Finally my time, I hope I get a nice cut. She put down a plate on the highchair. "What is this?" I asked as I looked down on mush.

"Baby, you can't eat steak yet, it would be too rough for your little belly," Amy said.

At that point I was fed up with the names. "Can you stop with the stupid names? I'm not baby, I'm not angel, I'm not anything, call me Karen or Kevin. I don't care what but stop talking to me like I'm some kind of kid. I'm still 27 for Pete sake."

All three of them stared blankly at me as I made my tirade. I thought it needed to be said. "Nicole, I think you should go to your room for a little while, we will call you when dinner is about to start. Amy, bring Karen into the den."

Nicole scampered off and I was released from the highchair. Amy led me to the den. "That was not a very nice way to tell us you are upset, I feel very hurt," she said somberly.

I was placed on the floor. Oh great, I let my emotions get out of hand again. Crap, what's going to happen to me, I thought. I can't defend myself, not in the body I was in now. It was only five minutes, but when you are expecting pain, seconds seem like an eternity. Bob entered the room, looked at me, shook his head, and sat down in a recliner. My only defense was to appeal to some logic and maybe I can be spared some of the pain he was going to inflict.

"Listen," I started, "maybe I could have said it a little bit better, but you guys act like you knew me all my life, like we are connected in some way. In fact, we just met, I think this is a mistake and I should be changed back and just be on my way."

"Karen," Amy said, "We can't do that, when you said you wanted to stay with us before Bob handed the blanket to one of those Salvation Army trucks. It's going somewhere where it can be useful."

"So I'm stuck, just great!" I exclaimed.

"I'm afraid so Ba--, Karen" Amy said.

"I appreciate what you’re trying to do, really Amy, really Bob, but you guys don't even know me. I was a random selection, it could have been anyone. I'm not special to you, just the fact that I'm a baby girl that you could have. I know you want me to play the part, but I'm not going to live my life doing what you tell me just because it's what you want."

"I've heard enough." Bob said as he rose up from his chair. He made his way towards me. I looked around trying to find a place to escape, there was none. His hand came towards me, this predicament was all too familiar. I covered my head with arms and cringed away from him, knowing that I could survive a beating to the body but one to the head would kill me. I tensed my body the best I could as I awaited the blow. A second, an eternity passed and no blow arrived.

"Poor child, what have you gone through in your life?" Bob said as he hovered over me. I slowly turned to see what the situation was. Bob's hands were held out, not to hit me, but to pick me up. "I would never hurt you child, I would kill myself before I purposely caused you pain." With that he backed off.

Amy knelt on the floor next to me. "You think you were random but you weren't. We prayed for you, we prayed specifically for you. We might not have known all the details of your life but we knew who you were, what you were. We weren't surprised that Nicole left the bus with you, we expected it, maybe not already as our baby, but someone who was going to enrich our lives. Come here." She said as she held her arms open. Whether it was her words, or the shock of expecting to get a beating, I walked into her open arms. She lifted me and placed me on a leather love seat. Bob and Amy sat one on each side of me.

"We knew this would happen that you may have had a problem accepting our love, so we have something for you." Bob said as he reached into the draw an end table.

"They're going to try to bribe you. Beware!" my consciousness warned me.

Bob handed me an envelope. "Read the postmark."

I looked on the back side of the envelope and saw an unbroken seal, the stamp on the front revealed today's date but a year ago. "Go on, open it" Bob said. And I did just that and pulled out the letter.

Dear Kevin/Karen,
It's going to be a year before you enter our life and we wanted you to know that you are in our prayers. It may seem silly to write to you, seeing that we don't know exactly were to mail this. Yet, God has compelled us to write this note in order to relieve some of your fears. Let us explain. We have a daughter, Nicole, who is 7. We wanted to have another child but my wife is unable to conceive. Both of us have prayed for another little girl for about a year or so. Last week my wife and I had a dream, a dream about you Kevin, struggling. Not only struggling with materialistic needs, but struggling because you have never knew love. We had had a glimpse into your life and saw the pain that you bore from those who were supposed to love you. Fear not, we love you. God is going to grant a miracle, we don't even know how yet. But both my wife and I know that in a year you will be here and our little girl. You are one of God's children and soon you will be our child as well. You will learn love, because it is all we know what to give.
With love, hopefully your Mom & Dad.

I closed the letter, dumbfounded. I looked up at Amy and Bob as they had there arms around each other. They looked down at me smiling. "Come on angel," Bob said, "let’s get something in that tummy of yours." Even though Bob used the baby talk that I objected to, I didn't object. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that Amy had picked me up and put me in the highchair. I didn't even object to the Bib that was tied around me. Nicole had joined us and Bob cleared his throat. "Karen in our family we pray before our meals."

I had no objection to that and Bob thanked God for the food and for the new addition to the family. I also said a prayer to myself that God would send a sign to make me know this is where I belong.

The meal went off without a hitch. I was still in contemplation at the last day's events that I didn't even object to Amy feeding me. I tried to do it myself but I couldn't hold the spoon in order to be successful. I then started to get thirsty.

"Amy, can I have something to drink?" I asked.

"Yes honey" Amy replied and she came back with a bottle. "Let me give this to you." she said.

"I guess it’s OK" I answered.

Amy lifted me out of the high chair and held me horizontally in her arms. She gently placed the bottle in my mouth. I had started drinking when something caught my attention. I heard her heart beat, strong and comforting. A wave of peace came over me. The warmth filled my whole being, the outside world didn't exist, the past never happened. In that one instant I felt more love then the 27 years I had previously lived. It was in that instant I knew that this was where I now belonged and I let the consciousness of my former self fade away. Kevin who was, was no more and only I existed. Me, who was a 16 month old girl in the arms of her mother without any other care in the world but to hear that reassuring heartbeat.

Amy removed the bottle from my mouth "Anything wrong baby?" she asked.

"Noffin’ wrong," I said as I notice my speech reverting back to what was appropriate for my age.

"But what Karen? What are you thinking?"

"I love new momma and dadda."

Not only did mommy start to cry but daddy did as well. "We love you to baby" they said. Mommy hugged me tight and held me tightly in her arms. I heard her heart once more and closed my eyes. As her gentle rocking put me to sleep and realize that I was finally home.

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Author's note: This was my first ever tg/transformation story that I ever wrote or ever posted. It originally appeared on Fictionmania where it drew the attention of our Web-hostess. She decided to email me back then and invite me to Big Closet, and my guess is she has regretted it ever since :) This is a reworked version. I made some changes, added some elements, actually proof read it (for those of you who haven't figured out, I don't check my work) and turned it into a stand alone. I dropped the third chapter and will leave it as is. A long time ago there was plans to go a bit further, I actually had a forth chapter all but written but lost it to the blue screen of death and could never recapture the magic.

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