The Pale Deer - A TWILIGHT ZONE story

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"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of the imagination. Next stop: THE TWILIGHT ZONE." - Rod Serling


The Pale Deer
A TWILIGHT ZONE story
By Anon Allsop

A young brave defends a friend from the verbal attacks of his sisters' friends. Hear-ka is angered by their inability to look beyond his friend's stature as a warrior, seeing that through his kind ways he can also be a respectable leader. They laugh, but the Spirits do not. Hear-ka is sent to the mountain, there in the circle of the ancients he will find and bring back 'La-Ana-ha, the Pale Deer' to become his friend's willing squaw. A willingness that could only be contrived inside...THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

From my vantage, high on the hill, I could see the lone youth as he worked his way from our village. Hunt-ka-chuk was a tall gangly youth; his raven black hair was long and shining in the sun. He led a white pony; it had a darkened patch upon its face and had one black foot. The pony was limping slightly, as Hunt-ka-chuk led him down to the cool waters of the stream.

I stood watch among the raspberry bushes as several young girls about me, gathered the berries. One young maiden paused beside me and looked down the hill, she whispered to the others and they broke into a chorus of girlish laughter.

I looked at them and scowled, "Don't laugh at him, Na-ie-ya, he will be a great leader someday!"

She smiled then rolled her large brown eyes, "He spends too much time with his horse!" This comment caused the other three girls to laugh.

I leaned against the long spear in my hands, "Is it wrong to be at one with the animals? Even Ma-chee-chek, our chief, has been known to talk to his horse."

All the girls giggled, Na-ie-ya glanced down at the skinny youth. "I agree, Hear-ka, but Ma-chee-chek has never claimed that they answer back!" Her comment was followed by loud laughter. "Besides, who would want such a skinny husband, Hear-ka? Even the rabbits that he would bring into our lodge would have more meat on their bones!" Again, the little group broke into laughter.

I scowled them into silence, and then pointed down the worn path beaten bare from generations of naked feet. One by one they picked up their baskets and began to walk down the hill past Hunt-ka-chuk, as he stood with his horse in the water.

Hunt-ka-chuk looked up and smiled, each of the young Indian females gave him not a single glance. I nodded greetings to my friend, and continued on toward the village, marked with dozens of little round wigwams. I sadly shook my head at their lack of respect for a member of our tribe, and continued following the young, spoiled females into the village.

Na-ie-ya sat her basket down beside the doorway into our wigwam, "Hunt-ka-chuk will never find a wife among our village, Hear-ka, he will have to sneak into another tribe and steal his mate."

I pointed into the wigwam, "Go inside sister, and turn your back on Hunt-ka-chuk. A dream has told me that his mate won't be from among you or your friends!" I smiled and turned to leave, she laughed as I walked away.

"You are as crazy as your friend, Hear-ka! You waste your time having visions of Hunt-ka-chuk, you will see brother, that no girl wants a mate that speaks to the animals!" I didn't even turn around; with a wave of my hand I brushed her insult aside.

From beside me as I walked, I heard an elderly squaw, Usa-ho, calling softly to me. I paused, turning my steps toward her little home; she was grinding corn in a small earthen bowl. "You worry for your friend, Hunt-ka-chuk?"

I tapped the ground with the blunt end of my long spear, its long feathers danced in the wind. I nodded; looking at the small round indents my spear made in the soft earth. "Na-ie-ya has turned all the young squaws against, Hunt-ka-chuk. My dream visions tell me...she is wrong, what they say is a great mistake."

"Have you told her...the words she speaks trouble you?" The woman looked up from her work.

"She doesn't care. She is set against him and will prevent others from showing their interest; Hunt-ka-chuk only wants her friendship."

The old woman frowned, looking back toward Na-ie-ya as she helped our Mother ready a fire. Slowly turning her head looked back up at me. "Na-ie-ya is right, Hear-ka, your friend, Hunt-ka-chuk will have to find a mate from outside the village."

"Thanks to Na-ie-ya and her friends." I growled, staring back at my sister. If Hunt-ka-chuk ever hopes to find a squaw...he'll probably have to steal her." I crouched down beside the tiny, old woman as I spoke; she patted my hand and smiled.

The old woman smiled, "I had a vision about Hunt-ka-chuk."

"Oh?" I wondered aloud. "And what vision would that have been?"

The old woman held out her hand, I pulled her to a standing position. She nodded her thanks and hobbled into her round wigwam, at the door she motioned for me to follow. I stood inside as she knelt down next to the fire; she smiled and pointed to the great animal skin beside her, indicating where I should sit.

She waited for me to seat myself, and then opened a bundle wrapped in a beautiful hide. "The Great Spirit told me to give you this." She handed me the bundle, I raised it up to my eyes.

"I don't understand?" I asked, "These are the trappings of a woman." I placed it back on the hide, fingering the intricate beadwork that was stitched to the light tan colored hide.

"The Great Spirit told me in a vision that a beautiful squaw would be coming from the east." She held out a bony finger, pointing the direction. "She must enter our tribe wearing the hide in the bundle." I looked back down at the creamy tan garment, feeling the soft leather of the skin. "The beautiful squaw is coming for, Hunt-ka-chuk." She calmly replied.

"So, ancient one, what has this to do with me?" I straightened up and began to stand. "Can't Hunt-ka-chuk go find his own squaw, or do I need to steal one for him?"

The old woman stiffened, "The Great Spirit said you alone could find her, and bring her here to Hunt-ka-chuk. She will come willingly; you won't have to steal her."

I picked up my spear from the ground, "What if I find her so beautiful, I take her for my own squaw?"
Again the old woman scowled, "She is meant to be Hunt-ka-chuk's mate only. From her coupling with him, will she bear many children."

I frowned, "Why is it so important that Hunt-ka-chuk beds this stranger, has the Great Spirit told you this?"

She began nodding even before I finished speaking, "It is one of their children that will rise up to lead a great nation into battle, perhaps, even one of their children's children. It does not matter, Hear-ka, the Great Spirit will lend all of this to pass."

I flexed my strong brown muscles, leaning against the spear. "If you say it will happen, ancient one, then it will happen. What must I do?"

The old woman wrapped the soft, white dress in the furry hide, tying it tight with the thin cord. "You must take this to the Circle of the Ancients and wait for the Great Spirit to show you where to find the La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer, it is she that you must bring back to Hunt-ka-chuk."

I nodded as she finished speaking, tucking the fur beneath my arm. "I too have had a vision about Hunt-ka-chuk. My vision also said that his woman would not come from those females of our tribe."

The old woman smiled and gave my forearm a gentle squeeze, "You are a good to Hunt-ka-chuk, and he is blessed to be able to call you his friend." Before I turned out of her wigwam, she stayed me, "No one must see you leave to get La-Ana-ha, or bring her back into our village.

"Why is that, wise one?" I paused, holding my hand against the flap, hanging in place to keep the weather out.

"La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer, is from a tribe known only by the Spirits; you must never reveal her true origin.

I nodded at her, knowing it would never be wise to undermine the trust of The Great Spirit. "When should I leave, Usa-ho?"

She stood and handed me a small pouch, "The Spirits said to provide you with sustenance, your journey will take you two full days." I glanced at the package she had given me, full of what appeared to be dried fish.

I was a young, seasoned brave. To slip through a sleeping village unseen, played itself out like a young boy's game, both simple and quick. Within an hour, I was far from our village, pacing myself as I jogged along a moonlit path. As I ran, I couldn't help but wonder why the Great Spirits wanted me, and only me, to retrieve Hunt-ka-chuk's woman. Still, I didn't think any lesser of Hunt-ka-chuk, knowing that it would be me and not him to set my eyes upon his mate first.

Our friendship went far back, when we were mere boys, hunting our first deer together. I smiled as the memory of that hunt formed inside my head, when long ago; Hunt-ka-chuk had interfered just as I was releasing the shaft that would have fallen a large Doe. I still remember the anger I had first felt, when the thin shaft raced into the soft earth below the red deer, just as her spotted fawn stumbled from the brush nearby. Indeed, Hunt-ka-chuk, possessed great medicine. Medicine that seemed to allow him understanding of the woodland animals that moved around us all. It would have been a bad omen for our tribe to take a doe from her fawn.

I frowned, remembering how my own sister and her friends had treated, Hunt-ka-chuk. They would pay someday for their pride, when they saw the beautiful La-Ana-ha at his side. Perhaps the Great Spirits would make them realize what they have passed up when they see what kind of lover Hunt-ka-chuk would be with his beloved, La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer! I smiled at the response I imagined the young females would have.

I paused beside a small stream, drinking deeply the cool waters of this ancient land. Over the next rise I could see the low hills of our ancestral people; somewhere within those hills was the holy ground that I seek. The Circle of the ancients would not be far away now.

For the rest of that morning, I slowed my pace. The ground was littered with small stones where an ancient earthquake had tumbled them from their original resting places. Higher and higher I climbed, further up the hills I made my way until I felt I could almost walk among the Cloud People. Here was the ancient ancestral home of my people, here they laid their stones in a large circle...here, stretching out before me, was holy ground.

This was the second time that I have stood before the white stones of my ancient fathers. Only two seasons prior, I had stood with Hunt-ka-chuk as we left offerings to the Spirits, hoping for a hunt that would bring meat to our starving tribe during a brutal winter. We had no sooner laid our offering down in the center of the ancient circle, when a great stag stepped into the clearing.

I felled the great buck with one arrow, even Hunt-ka-chuk smiled as we brought the meat, wrapped in the large hide back to our village. I looked down at the fur bundle in my hands, "I wonder if this is what happened to the hide of the Stag?" I smiled, imagining it was true, "Perhaps it is worth dying, knowing that you will comfort a beautiful woman with your soft hide."

I sat down at the edge of the circle, unsure as to what to do with the package. Finally, after a while, I carried the bundle into the very center of the great circle. I held it out over my head and waited; slowly I faced the East and called out loudly, "La-Ana-ha!"

I waited, my voice echoing against the hills that surrounded me, again I raised the bundle toward the heavens. Turning to the South, I again shouted out, "La-Ana-ha!" I paused, and then repeated my call to the North and West, each time pausing between calls.

I placed the bundle down on the flat stone that was seated in the middle of the great circle. Finally, I returned to the edge of the circle and sat down in the sand and rock, waiting for the appearance of the Great Spirit.

As Father Sun began to sink low in the sky, I leaned back against a great rock, chewing at my dried fish. All the while, wondering whether La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer, would appear out of nowhere as if formed from a fog. Perhaps she could be scaling the side of the hill as I sat here waiting, soon climbing over the edge from one of many directions. I glanced across the great span of the hilltop, and began to wonder if I could take her unseen into our village at all.

I knew that for a single warrior, it was mere child's play to move about undetected...add an inexperienced female into the mix, and it wouldn't be as easy. I settled back into a comfortable position, resting my eyes for only a moment.

I had only closed my eyes for a short while, when I again opened them, there was a great uneasiness in the air around me. I sat up and quickly scanned the terrain to each side, nothing was moving. I stood and walked to the edge of the hill, far away from the holy ground where the circle resided. I looked down over its edge and wondered if the Great Spirit was close to sending La-Ana-ha to his sacred circle. I stood silently for a moment, and studied the clear, dark sky, each twinkling gem reflecting back as crystals of ice on a sunny, winter's day.

I returned slowly, to the edge of the circle and sat upon my rock, here I would wait for La-Ana-ha. As I sat, the wind began picking up, gently blowing at the feathers tied into my hair. I scanned the sky as more and more of it became swallowed by dark, bulbous clouds as they began to blot out my starry canopy. A storm was moving in, I could feel the strangeness within the air. The Spirits seemed agitated.

Once, as a young boy, I remembered seeing the anger of the Sky People, on a hot summer day they rained rocks of ice upon our heads, chasing us under the cover of the trees. Our village had angered them greatly, so much that once the ice rocks were thrown, they sent a towering finger of wind into our forest, felling any tree that stood in its path. Many of our village had died that day, we all understood as well as our great chief, Ma-chee-chek...that the Sky People were angry with us! We had become like the pig...gluttonous, wasteful and greedy. After that day, our tribe would always share with the lesser bands, our food and shelter. We had become their protectors, in peace or in war, slowly they were each absorbed into our tribe until we became one, powerful tribe.

Again I looked toward the Sky People, something had angered them again. I looked back toward the flat rock where I had placed the little bundle; the ancient one had given me. I noticed my footsteps as they crossed the soft sand of the Sacred Circle. The sudden realization dawned; their anger was intended at me! I defiled their sacred circle when I walked across it with my moccasins still upon my feet. It was customary as an honor to the Spirits, to remove our skins when we trod upon their holy ground; with fear in my soul, I hung my head and dropped to my knees, gently removing my moccasins.

Shouting just above the great, roaring wind, I called out to the Sky People, "I have wronged you, Great, Mighty Spirits of the Clouds! I beg your forgiveness!" Light flickered between the billowing, green and yellow clouds. "I only seek your help in finding La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer."

The clouds said nothing, they only grew angrier. I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to protect myself and flee. Still, I remained; I knew that if the Great Spirit was only testing me. It would not go well if I should run like a frightened child before the Sky People. I must accept their punishment, whatever it may be.

High overhead, little tendrils of light creased the dark sky, each one brighter than the last. I closed my eyes, hoping the Great Spirit would forgive me of my transgression. The light grew steadily brighter around me, almost as if setting before a raging fire, compelling me to open my eyes.

A great, glowing ball was suspended over my head; it floated as a log upon the water. I fell prone to the ground, hiding my eyes from the power of the Great Spirit, its displeasure evident in the anger of the clouds.

The sound was low, like a rolling thunder, "What brings you to our holy circle?"

I dared not look into the face of the spirit, "I was sent by the ancient one, I am to fetch a squaw for her."

"What would an ancient one, do with a squaw?" The voice demanded, trembling the ground as it spoke.

I held out a quivering hand, "The squaw isn't for the ancient one, Great Spirit, she is for my friend, Hunt-ka-chuk."

The winds ceased to blow, the air grew calm, and the clouds ceased their anger. The great booming voice spoke, softer, less menacing. "The Spirits look with favor on Hunt-ka-chuk."

"Who is it that comes before the Great Spirits in the name of, Hunt-ka-chuk?" The glowing orb questioned.

"I am Hear-ka." I said, still speaking into the soft earth. "I am to return with the beautiful woman, La-Ana-ha, foretold by the ancient, Usa-ho."

"Look up, Hear-ka. Stand. It is demeaning for you to be wallowing in the earth like a snake." I slowly raised myself to my knees, still averting my eyes. "Do not fear looking at me young one, we have also looked on you with favor."

That comment surprised me, I slowly raised my eyes. "You look upon a common warrior with favor? But I am only, Hear-ka."

The glowing tendrils floated about the ball like wisps of smoke, giving it the appearance of a living, breathing creature. "You have defended, Hunt-ka-chuk when no one else would. You have been a good friend, for that, you shall be rewarded!"

"I have asked for nothing, I should receive nothing." I stood proudly before the Great Spirit.

"You show great pride, Hear-ka." The orb pulsed, "Pride in oneself can be very vain."

"It is not pride, Great Spirit, but Honor. I am honored to be looked with favor by the Spirits." I suddenly felt as if I had spoken out of turn.

"Remove your buckskin shirt, breechcloth and leggings, if you stand in the Sacred Circle, you must be as pure as the day you were born." I pulled the heavy leather hide over my head; with it fell my beaded breast plate and moccasins I had removed earlier. I dropped my long knife to the ground, slid off my leggings, throwing them onto the pile.

Again the wind grew strong, buffeting me with a great force...I stood still as the dirt and dust spiraled and blew across my naked skin. As it settled I opened my eyes, blinking the last visages of sand from them.

The ground all around me was bare, nothing of mine remained; only the small package for, La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer remained and the large circle of white stones. "Great Spirit?" I whispered softly.

"Yes, Hear-ka." The orb replied.

"Where did my clothing go? Where is the knife of my father's, father?" I tried not to sound worried; I knew that if the Great Spirit didn't want me to have them, he wouldn't give them back to me.

"Hear-ka, you are standing in a Sacred, Holy Circle, constructed by the first humans in honor of the Great Sky People. You have brought impurities onto this Holy Ground. The garments you wore are impure." I nodded slowly, understanding the insistence for the removal of my clothing and the attempt to keep the circle holy.

I began to hear tiny droplets of rain; they slowly swept across the circle and washed the dust from my body. The deep voice of the Great Spirit rumbled softly, "The rain washes your skin, clean. Now you are pure and suitable to meet, La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer."

I began to scan the edge of the circle, trying to observe from which direction she would come. I only hoped that I wouldn't disappoint the Spirits, for my embarrassment, especially if La-Ana-ha should see me unclothed.

From the corner of my eye I watched my warrior feathers lift slowly in the air, pulled gently from my hair by the breeze. I watched them twist, and roll in the light wind, as if being carried away by an unseen hand. "My eagle feathers!" I gasped as they disappeared from my sight, as if carried off by the Spirits.

My hair began to drift about my head, the breeze playing with each dark brown lock. I held it back, encircled by my right hand, the left one trying to tuck the stray tresses behind an ear.

I kept my vigil, looking out for the great beauty that would accompany me back to our village, betrothed to my friend, Hunt-ka-chuk. After a great span of time I looked into the orb's pulsing lights, "From which direction will the beautiful, La-Ana-ha come?"

The orb broke the silence with its deep, rumbling voice. "She is already here."

I quickly scanned each side of me; she was still out of my range of sight. "I still don't see her, Great Spirit. Is it because my thoughts are impure as my body had been?" I had convinced myself that this could be the only reason I wouldn't be able to see the great beauty of La-Ana-ha, perhaps the Great Spirit was punishing me for suggesting that I might keep her for myself.

"Hear-ka, before you can look without...you must look within." The voice throbbed within my ears as it spoke. "She is here." As it spoke, the tendrils lit the area brilliantly; still my eyes searched the darkness in vain.

Again I searched far out into the night, straining my eyes. I felt saddened, I was still unable to see the beautiful, La-Ana-ha. "I am unworthy, Great Spirit. I still can not see La-Ana-ha, what is hiding her beauty?"

"Do you look within?" Questioned the orb thoughtfully, pulsing with energy.

I closed my eyes, focusing my mind on 'within'. Then, as if a thick fog was lifted away from my terrified eyes, I saw her.

I felt the soft flesh pulling at my chest, the womanly orbs that would nurse her young. I raised a trembling hand to them, "I am La-Ana-ha?" My voice shook with terror. "I am Hear-ka, I can not be a woman! I can not become a squaw!"

"You can be what the Spirit's want you to be...for now, you are, La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer." The orb pulsed, its energy beating with each throb of my terrified heart.

My skin was now a golden bronze, smooth and pure. I looked to be no older than 17, maybe 18 seasons. My legs were flawless, long and slender, smooth and silky to the touch. I stood in stunned silence and rotated my hands before my eyes, now small and feminine. The Spirit's great tendril again washed through me, touching my thigh as it passed. A shudder rolled throughout my body, like a great energy from within, causing gooseflesh to break across my soft skin.

I closed my eyes and stifled a cry, gently lowering a hand down to the flatness below. The great orb spoke, "You are now, La-Ana-ha, The Pale Deer. Go home to your husband; bring many sons from your loins. You are ready; you are La-Ana-ha! Go."

I felt a tear rolling down my cheek, "But...I am a warrior...a brave for my tribe."

"Aren't all squaws’, great warriors?" The Spirit said, "Don't they all bleed for their tribes? Go home, be a strong wife to Hunt-ka-chuk and mother to his children."

I looked down past the soft mounds upon my chest, tipped with their deep brown teats, resting upon large areolas. From beneath the soft globes, my waist tapered in dramatically, then gradually bowed outward as my hips swelled and fell toward my small brown feet. "I am naked. I can't go back to my village!" I suddenly felt a tiny pull at my hand, directing me back toward the center of the circle, where I left the little package. It was still there.

It was with fear and embarrassment that I donned on the pale hide and tall moccasins, I felt like a fool to be dressed like the beautiful woman I had become. The fringe was tied at the edges, little knots holding the soft leather together. Ornate beading spilled down the front and rested upon the rounded flesh of my breasts. Two long beaded strands were sown into the collar of the dress, looking much like a necklace, and made from the same bead as what adorned my chest. Below, the high moccasins were also patterned after the beads upon my heaving bosom; they went from ankle to mid calf, topped by a band of leather fringe as the bottom of the dress had been. As soon as I had finished pulling the long, dark hair over the collared edge I let it fall. As my dark tresses fell about my slender shoulders, beading appeared at the edges of my long, dark raven colored hair. I held it out, in awe of the powerful medicine that I had been swept up in. Reluctantly I stood before the orb. I was La-Ana-ha.

The orb danced before my eyes, the tendrils moving and reaching out as a broken spider web before the wind. I touched the dress, fighting back the feminine tears that were forming at the corner of my eyes. "Please don't make me leave the circle, Great Spirit, I can't become La-Ana-ha!"

The orb said nothing; it only floated gently in the air. "I know nothing of being a woman, Great Spirit. I will be scorned when they discover that I had once been, Hear-ka!"

"Tell them nothing." The orb pulsed. "Hear-ka is no more."

"I am Hear-ka!" I cried, touching my soft breasts. "How can I be no more?"

The orb ignored my outburst, "Go back to your village, open yourself to your husband, and give him many children."

I stamped my tiny foot, "I am Hear-ka! I will never give myself to, Hunt-ka-chuk!" I wiped away the tears sliding down my cheeks, "You have twisted and molded my frame to match that of La-Ana-ha, but my mind is still my own, I will never allow Hunt-ka-chuk access to my body!"

The orb danced slightly. To me, it seemed as if it were laughing. "From within your young body, La-Ana-ha, you will sense a great need to be filled. The more you hold Hunt-ka-chek at bay, the stronger your motherly desire will become. Know this, La-Ana-ha, the spirits wish for you to become as one with Hunt-ka-chek."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, the Great Spirit not only transformed my body into that of the young and beautiful, La-Ana-ha, but would create within me a desire to bear his children. I felt my lip tremble, "Please don't do this to me, Great One, I do not desire to be his woman! I cannot bear his child! I know nothing of being a Mother!"

Again the glowing sphere danced slightly, "What young squaw does? The old one will help you, La-Ana-ha."

I pushed my tears to the corner of my eyes, brushing back the long dark hair that fell down over my youthful breasts. "I am Hear-ka! Please Great Spirit, please stop calling me La-Ana-ha!" I sobbed as I fell into the sand upon my knees, "I don't want to be a squaw!"

"Rise, La-Ana-ha. You are Hear-ka no more!" I pulled my slender hands away from my face and looked up, slowly drawing myself to a standing position. "No longer will you answer to your old name. You are La-Ana-ha!"

I frowned and folded my arms against my firm bosom, "I will never answer to the name, La-Ana-ha!" I glanced down at my chest as it pillowed out, making it quite obvious, what was just beneath that soft animal skin and beaded covering. "Call me what you wish, Great Spirit, I will go by no other name than my own!"

"And what name is that?" The sphere pulsed.

I frowned, dropping my arms from where they had been emphasizing the soft globes upon my chest. "La-Ana-ha the Pale Deer!" I spat out, quickly, and then realized what I had just said. Inside my head I thought 'Hear-ka' but by the time it came to my lovely, soft lips...La-Ana-ha the Pale Deer, was all that spilled out.

I hung my head in sadness, "Why are you making me do this, Great Spirit? What have I done to anger you so? Why do you make me this woman, and then push me out into the world alone to fend for myself?"

"La-Ana-ha, you have done nothing to anger us. It is your friendship for Hunt-ka-chek that we are rewarding you. The Spirits will not abandon you no more than you could abandon a child grown from within your own womb." The orb glowed, danced and pulsed as the voice spoke. "We have given you the gift of life, within; you will nurture a child into either a beautiful squaw, or handsome young brave."

"The village will see right through me! What will happen when they realize that I behave like no natural born woman?" I used my fingers to brush aside the tears that were rolling down my soft cheeks.

"No one will know. You will behave like any young squaw, they will not see through you. Your actions, speaking, behavior will all be like that of your former sister and her friends. Only, instead of gossip, you will create...and show great interest in, Hunt-ka-chek. Between you, there will flourish a love that will continue to grow throughout both of your lives."

I looked down the hill, back toward the valley where my village lay. "When should I leave, Great Spirit?"

"For now, you shall rest. When Father Sun rises from his slumber, so will you. Then go down from the Circle of the Ancients, and return to your village!"

I nodded, slowly turning toward the rock where my dried fish still lay wrapped in the thin hide. As I walked the orb whispered into my ear, "Go to the old woman, you are her granddaughter, born from a child of hers that was taken away at a young age." I sank down to the ground, slowly nodding off as the wind continued to whisper into my delicate ear. "Rest well, La-Ana-ha, tomorrow you meet, Hunt-ka-chuk, the father of your children."

Slowly the memories were eased from my tired mind, replaced with those of the girl I had willingly become. I knew that everything would be different when I awoke, and with a knowing smile...I accepted my fate. Allowing myself to be rewritten by the Great Spirits, was the only way I could help my friend..."Great Spirits, to honor you and my friend...I gladly release my male bonds." I sighed as sleep pulled me in. I felt my head grow heavy; the breeze blew softly across my slender neck and smooth cheek, as I drifted away upon a river of slumber.

I sat up and stretched, my slender arms reaching out into the early morning dawn. I yawned and slowly stood, and began heading away from the strange circle of the ancients. Down I climbed, my lithe arms folded to protect them from the morning chill, past the huge boulders and into the smaller crushed stone of a long ago earthquake. By the time Father Sun had reached high overhead, I had picked my way into the lower foothills, pausing to take in the breathtaking beauty of this strange land.

I crouched upon a small outcropping of rock, looking into the hills beyond where my grandmother's village was said to lay. Far to my right, a low hill stood, dotted by scrub pines and sparse vegetation. The sky was a brilliant hue, colored like a Jay's wing; a soft breeze was gently caressing my face. I smiled, inhaling deeply the scent of the moist earth, the warm sun upon my face. This was the land of my mother and grandmother...this was my land, here I would nurture and raise my family. For a short while, I gazed upon the land until a great urging to move on pulled at my heart.

I slowly stood and brushed the dirt from my soft dress, my beads rattled against themselves as I made each pass. I tucked back my hair and stepped softly down the ancient path I had been following, always looking ahead toward...my ancestral home.


The Brave Hear-ka was no more, replaced with the beauty of the Spirits. La-Ana-ha the Pale Deer was reborn within the Circle of Ancients on a mountain high within the clouds; willingly giving herself to her handsome young husband. Strong sons and beautiful daughters were to come to this loving family, yet within that lineage would be the prodigal child which would lead a great nation in battle. A battle fought on bloodied soil, far away from...THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

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Comments

Easy to see ...

... that coming, but still, it seems so unfair that all of what Hear-ka had learned and all he had worked to become should be taken away so that his friend could have a bride. Did the tribe not need braves as worthy and loyal as Hear-ka? How much easier (and more fair to Hear-ka) would it have been for the Great Spirit to touch the women in his village and make them see how petty and stupid they were being?

Yes, he accepted his fate. But what else could he do? When Gods are involved, humans usually wind up having to bow to the inevitable.

It was a good story, well told, but in the end, it left me ... sad.

Randa

I think that was the intended purpose

was to leave the reader feeling awkward at what had happened. It's meant to make us examine ourselves and what sacrifice really is. This was forced upon Hear-ka and against his will. But as in real life, things rarely go the way we wish it to. But still, a very good story!!! It does peak my interest to see the untold 2nd half of this story to see how things work out for Hear-ka/La-Ana-ha and see if she is as brave as the spirits say she will be.

Sephrena

Now.

Other people can see why I love your stories so much.

I think this is one of your best. Yes, there was loss for Hear-Ka. But on another note, he had always loved his friend, which was shown quite well in his reactions to how the village girls treated the guy. So there was loss, but also gain in the story. A delicate balance, yes, and sad in some ways while joyous in others.

Maggie

Hmm

Kalkin62's picture

Except that it's not really a sacrifice. Sacrifice (self sacrifice in this case) implies choice, and Hear-ka isn't given a choice. Hear-ka is simply consumed (against his will) in order to create La-Ana-ha.

It's well written certainly, coherent and it's easy to read.

But ... I prefer stories where the hero is allowed options. Hear-ka is told that he's being rewarded, but there's no evidence of that. From his own perspective, he's simply being destroyed, in order to make room for La-Ana-ha.

To be fair, it's supposed to be a Twilight Zone story, and a lot of those did have fairly creepy endings. So, I guess in the end I have to say it's well written, but not to my taste.

Great Spirit...

The Great Spirit is in my heart always. :D

Anon Allsop

I'm not sure what to make of this...

I don't know what to make of this story. This was in no way a voluntary decision. The "Great Spirit" even used mind control to get him to agree. The story also ended really abruptly. Won't people in the village wonder where Hear-ka went? Won't that sadden his friends and family? What happens when "The Pale Deer" gets back to the village?

There are a lot of questions here that went unanswered.

The will Of Grand Father Great Spirit

Please understand that I am being as careful as I can to be Polite in explaining my understanding of this story. I received the name of WhiteWolf from my Benefactor some 30 years ago. It was an act of acceptance in that that is who I am. I have traveled many hard and thorny paths because that is what I was required to do being who I AM. I did have the right to say no but I would never have reached the point of being comfortable in my own skin and knowing I walked the good crooked red road as my spirit needed to do to become the person I needed to be when I needed to be her. At one time my appearance would scare NJ state cops enough to cause some me to scare the SHIT out of one. But in answering the path I needed to walk when I needed to walk it, "Timing is everything" I am now the mother of two beautiful girls that will be a part of the new world just being born. I am part of the women's community and respected by most of the people who I associate with and I am always called Mrs or Ms and Amazon or Zena by those who do not. I am now entering my crone years and I will continue to accept who I am and I will continue to serve the will of Great Spirit because that is my choice and that is my acceptance of who I am and my special plan in life. Sometimes yes it hurts like hell and I have cried many tears and screamed into the wind during heavy thunder storms demanding to know why I have such a hard path, why did I have to suffer so much. The answers always came back softly "Because this is how you learn, and this is how you become the best you for everyone, this is how you serve all of the earths people, who walk on two feet, those who walk on four, those who fly, those who swim, the mineral kingdom, and the world of spirit, It is all one hoop, this is one world there is no inside no outside.
This story struck home and deeply moved me deeply. Thank you very much for the telling of a good story. I now surrender my soap box I am sorry I do not mean to offend it is that I am a very familiar with this Path of the First People of this land and I only wish to try to enplane what I know after 30 plus years of walking this oath.

Michele WhiteWolf Age 58
Lakota , Black Feet, and Scottish.

The only bad question is the one not asked.