I have Gynecomastia
I have Gynecomastia
By Terry Hansay
Chapter One of Two, Enjoy…
I am 19 years old and have gynecomastia. I just saw my doctor and she explained what I have. I am sick, emotionally sick to hear this. I can’t believe my chest has developed so much and the doctor says I will develop more, that I have this disease.
I am a little overweight and that is what I thought was my problem, why my chest was bigger than normal. I started hurting around my upper chest and went to my doctor.
She did several tests and explained my problem will not getting better. She could operate but would not recommend that. I asked about exercise, but she said due to my chemical imbalance that will not reduce my breast size.
The doctor then told me the only way to relive the back pain or pressure is to wear a bra. I looked at her in disbelief. I said, “how can I wear a bra, I am not a woman”. She said, “you have breasts, sizable breasts and they need support. That is the only reason a woman or you would wear a bra, for support. You have breasts that need support. If you don’t support them, protect them, you will have other problems and pains that are much worst than wearing a bra.”
She said many men with my disease wear bras and they have adjusted. My pain will increase without proper support, she said.
I couldn’t handle her remedy and told her I would think about it and left.
I was sick to my stomach with her answers. I went on-line and saw she was right in her remedy. But I could not wear a bra that was for girls, not me.
I could think of anything more than my disease over the next couple of weeks. I bought smaller t-shirts thinking it might hold my expanding breasts still and not let them “bounce” around. That did not work. Plus I was feeling self-conscience as my breasts bounced and I thought people were looking at them moving around.
I did not know what to do. I had more pain and bouncing, it was getting worst.
I tried to figure out my bra size, looked at web pages for different bra styles. Way too many bra styles, shapes, colors to understand. I could not see myself in a bra, let alone having two mountains on my chest sticking out there.
I thought I might try and order a bra on-line but I could not figure out what size to order. I had no one to ask but my mother.
I called my Mom saying I would come visit this weekend, she was pleased since I have not seen her in a couple of months.
I drove to my mother’s home; she was all excited to see me. We hugged and had a great dinner my first night there. After dinner I let the bomb drop.
“Mom, I have a problem and I need your help”, I said. I explained my disease and what my doctor said. She was concerned but seemed supportive of my problem. She then asked me to show her my chest.
I was nervous as I took my two shirts and a t-shirt off. She saw my breasts and was amazed at how developed I was. We talked about the disease and said she would help in what ever I needed.
I told her I was willing to try wearing a bra to see if the bra would relieve the pain I was having. She agreed. I told her I did not know how to measure for a bra. She giggled and said that is easy, I will teach you.
As she was measuring me, she said I should be professional measured but for now we can do it. She explained the bandwidth and the cup measurements. She announced with a big smile that I was a 36B maybe a C cup bra size. I asked her why she was smiling. Your sister is the same size, how ironic, she said.
I didn’t think that was funny. Here I am the same bust size as my sister. That was sick, I am man, I thought.
Sit tight she said, I think your sister has a couple of her bras upstairs she leaves here. “Mom, I could NOT wear her bras”, I said. Mom looked at me saying “of course you can, she will never know”.
Mom returned with two bras. I was nervous but she made it seem like there was nothing to it. She put on me the first bra, she said, “this is a t-shirt bra and has the most support, padded cups for a smooth shapely look”.
“This kind of bra will hide your nipples. I saw your nipples poking out when you walked in tonight”, Mom said.
I got all nervous and ask her what she saw. “I didn’t want to say, but there is a lot of bounce to your chest, she said. Plus your nipples were popping out. Not a good look for a man”.
I looked at Mom and said, “I guess I really need some support”. She said, “yes dear you do!”
Wow, did this bra feel strange. Really lifted my breasts up and seemed to take all the stress off my chest. My sister’s bra fit, I filled the cups.
Maybe I fill the cups to well. Mom made the comment that this bra gives me “muffin tops”. What the heck is that I asked? She pointed out how my breasts were bulging out of the top of the cups. This bra is too small for me, she said.
Great my breasts are bigger than my sisters. How could that happen, I am a man.
Mom saw my fear saying we will have to go shopping and buy you a larger cup size.
I said, “Mom I can’t wear this bra. It picks up my breasts and makes them stand out even more than before. I will have big bumps under my shirts”.
She looked me saying, “you don’t have a choice, you have large breasts and you need support. You might even need to wear women’s blouses to handle your big bustline”.
She explained that a bra is designed to lift and separate the breasts. “We girls need this kind of support”, she said.
Did she say “we”, “we girls”, that is very strange. Here I am wearing a woman’s bra, my sister’s bra with my mother. Who is “we”?
“Oh, I can’t handle this and fell on the couch, I was to weak, I could not understand all this.
My mother explained the next bra has underwires that will help support my breasts too. “Lets try this bra on too dear”, she said.
Wow, this bra fit like a glove, perfect and again really did uplifts my breasts.
My Mom convinced me I had to wear a bra. My chest felt so much better, relieve stress on my chest.
For some reason my mother was very supportive and seemed excited about me wearing my sister’s bras.
She told me I could wear these bras now and that we will go shopping tomorrow for my own bras and panties.
Panties, why do I need panties? I don’t need those I said. She hugged me saying, “you have to have matching underwear, and you will feel so much better. Don’t argue with me, I know what is best for my son”.
I reached behind to unhook this bra and Mom giggled saying, “Tommy, leave your bra on dear. You might as well get use to your new top now. You wouldn’t be needing this man t-shirt any longer either”.
“Why don’t I need my t-shirt, Mom? “Son you don’t need a t-shirt and a bra together, I don’t wear t-shirts, just a bra”.
This is getting very strange.
I put my shirt on and wow, did I have a bustline. I could see the bra under my shirt and I had shapely curves. I had a hard time buttoning my shirt, it was very tight across the chest. Clearly this shirt was too tight with this bra on. Mom smiled and said it looked good.
How does this look good? The shirt was very tight and gapping so I could see my sisters bra through the gap. Mom saw this and kept smiling. Strange, why does she keep smiling?!
I looked at Mom saying I will have a hard time adjusting to these two mountains on my chest. Mom laughed saying, “you will get use to wearing a bra son, bras will help you, you need to wear a bra every day for health reasons, so get use to it dear. Please don’t call your breasts mountains. You have curves, now deal with them son, for your own health”.
It felt really strange, this bra wrapped around my chest. Plus seeing the bra through my shirt made me real nervous and my Mom sensed my problem. I thought I would have to buy darker clothes to hide my bra straps.
Mom gave me a JC Penny catalog and opened it up to the bra section and told me to look through and see which bras I liked. I looked at her saying, “Mom why would I like looking for bras? I don’t want to wear a bra let alone shop for them. I can’t go to a store to buy a bra”.
Mom said, “Well, then we can go to my store, a small private ladies foundation store to buy you some bras tomorrow. I have been going to Betty’s Shape Shop for years and I know she will take good care of you tomorrow”.
Tomorrow came too quick for me. Mom came in and got me up, I was already up looking at the JC Penny catalog. I could not believe how many different bras there were. I asked her why they make so many different bras.
Mom smiled and said, “Women needs all different styles of bras for different outfits. You will learn, dear. Plus some women need different support and lift. Don’t worry, Betty will show you many different bras for your needs”.
I thought this is going to be too much. I can’t wear a bra let alone pick out several bras for me. All I need is one I thought.
In Mom’s hand was yet another one of my sister’s bras. She handed it to me saying I should wear this bra today. She wanted to see if it fit and told me to try it on now before I took my shower.
She adjusted the straps on me. Told me to bend forward and lift my breasts into the cups to fill the cups better. Wow, that really did help. Adjusting my breasts made the cup very shapely.
Mom was pleased with the fit and said I would wear that bra today to Betty’s. She said my sister bought that bra at Betty’s store and it would be nice if I wore it there.
Mom left my room as I was staring at this bra, another one of my sister’s bras. It felt weird and I think I got a little strange looking down at my breasts thinking my sister wore this bra.
I opened the catalog and saw this exact bra on a very pretty model. How could I look as shapely as this model? The bra was a Playtex Cross-My-Heart soft cup bra.
Mom came back in my room, saw me staring at the catalog and my breasts. With her big smile she said, “ok lets get going, stop staring at your new bustline and get your shower. We have an appointment at Betty’s in an hour”.
I asked my Mom why I needed this bra with some padding in it and could not just wear a plain, no padding bra like a sleep bra I saw in the JC Penny catalog.
She explained there was no support in a sleep bra and your nipples will show through without some padding.
Oh well, what did I know about all this. I reached behind my back and tried to unhook this bra. Mom giggled and showed me how to do this. Seems to be a real trick, feminine tricks I have to learn now, I guess.
Mom giggled and said, “You will learn how to put on and take off your pretty bras. Comes with practice since you will be wearing a bra everyday now”.
I thought to myself not sure I could wear a bra everyday.
I got showered and dressed. I liked the way the Playtex bra supported me without a lot of projection, as compared to my sister’s t-shirt bra. I reached inside the cups and adjust my developing breasts as my Mom taught. Wow, this was feeling good. The bra took a lot of the stress off my body, not sure why.
My only problem is that it is clear I am wearing a bra and now I have a bustline, mountains on my chest as I am thinking. How will I go out in public looking like this?
I broke down crying, Mom ran in asking what the problem is. I stood up and point to my projecting bustline. “These two mountains are the problem and the bra that will show through my shirts”, I said.
Mom hugged me saying I will get use to my bra and my pretty bustline. Did she say pretty?
Son, here is a shirt of your sister’s with darts and I think it will fit you better, put it on. I was nervous since it is pink, no pocket and is very thin and it buttons up the wrong way. Mom giggled and said I would get use to that; all women’s blouses button up the opposite of men’s shirts.
I tried to button the shirt, I couldn’t, it was too tight. Mom smiled and said it not too tight, let me help you silly. She pulled hard, stretching the clinging material around my breasts. It was like she was pulling my breasts tighter to get the buttons closed. I didn’t think she would get the shirt buttoned, it was so tight.
She announced she was done, saying it fit beautifully and I looked very nice. I looked down and thought I would faint. My chest was standing up, straight out very shapely. Clear I have two large big mountains on my chest.
I looked at Mom saying, “I can’t wear this shirt, I can’t wear this. I look like a have a woman’s chest. Plus I can see my bra, it does not close tight here, it’s gapping.
Mom looked mad and said, “Tommy, you have large breasts, you need to support them, this is the only kind of shirt you can wear with your “mountains”, as you call them. You look very nice, there is nothing wrong with the way you look.”
I looked down thinking, really this look is acceptable?
I couldn’t believe she wanted me to walk around looking like this. I had mix signals going through my brain, I think I was getting turned on looking at my very shapely chest.
Mom hugged me as I started to cry saying “Tommy you will get use to your new look, you asked me for help and you did admit you feel better wearing a bra. Just relax, Mom knows best”.
I looked in the mirror, my side view was that of a very shapely girl, breasts very high, even pointed, very shapely. There was no hiding I had a girls bustline, so much so that many girls would be envious of my figure. This bra really gave me a shapely figure. This is NOT what I wanted or expected!
“Mom couldn’t I wear my sweatshirt”? Mom said, “Tommy you can’t live in a sweatshirt, get real”.
She then announced she just got off the phone with her doctor and she would like us to stop in today after seeing Betty. She will give us something to relax you and help take my mind off my new clothing.
Off we went, lucky Mom gave me a light jacket to wear covering my shapely chest.
Mom seemed all excited about shopping at her bra store. As we were walking up to the store, Mom snapped the back of my bra strap, giggling saying how much she likes helping me shop.
I got all embarrassed having her snapping my bra strap in public. I said, “Mom, people are going to know I am wearing a bra”.
Mom giggled back saying, “Son, just look at your chest and your shape, they already know you have a bra on. Lighten up, it’s not the end of the world if you need support for medical reasons. As your doctor said, there are many men who wear a bra to support their breasts. Men have this disease”.
We stepped in Betty’s Shop, a world of feminine, lacey “things” all over the place. I froze when I saw all the ladies and girls shopping inside this “for women” only store.
Betty came right up to Mom and greeted us. She was all smiles and told me that she can help me and has helped many men who have my problem.
We hit it off good; she was a very sweet lady. I was nervous though shopping in and among all these women. But they did not seem to mind me there.
Betty took me into the back changing room and told me to undress so that she could measure me. I was hesitant, but Mom got me moving.
I was going to take my sister’s Playtex bra off but Betty told me to leave my pretty bra on. What did I know, I thought as I giggled.
Betty announced I was a large 36B, maybe a C cup. Mom was right, Mom’s measurement was 36B. Betty took all my measurements, hips, waist, not sure why.
Betty asked how I like the Playtex bra I was wearing and if I would like the same bra again. She said in a C cup, those stretch straps will allow too much bounce.
What is she talking about, I thought. I was confused.
I told her I would like a bra that made my chest smaller. A bra that would compact my chest, make my chest smaller. Both ladies laughed and Betty said, she will see what she can do as she winked at my mother. I got the feeling she did not like the fact I wanted to hide my bustline.
I told Betty I did not like wearing a bra, they are too tight and makes me self-conscious. Betty smiled and said “you better get use to wearing a bra, dear, you have a large bustline and your new breasts need a lot of support. You have no choice, dear.”
All I could think of what was I getting myself involved with. How can I wear a bra?
As my mother and I waited for Betty to return with more bras, mother pointed out several charts on the walls teaching teenage girls how to measure and fit their first training bras.
I didn’t want to ask what a training bras was. Plus there were beautiful models in full-length corsets, posters on the wall selling the products. My mother pointed to one of them saying I might like that kind of bra for real support.
She smiled and said “maybe another day Mom. All this is very overwhelming, hard to think I am here buying me a bra with my Mom and her friend.”
I could not see myself in a full-length corset, for what? I just need my chest supported, not my total body.
In came Betty with what seems like 20 different bras for me to try on.
I was so embarrassed trying them on as she adjust and pulled at my straps. After a while I relaxed and was getting use to hooking my bras. Both my mother and Betty looked at each other saying, “he is really getting good at hooking and fitting his bras, like he has done this all his life, so sweet”.
I had to admit the more structured bras, three section soft padded cups felt very nice on me. Betty knew I liked those the best and showed me several of those. They were big, support bras, I mean lots of bra, big straps, cups, even some had four hooks on the back.
I asked why I needed padding in the cups, which gave me a very perky shapely bustline. Betty explained support is very important, lift and separating is best for me. The bras did feel good.
Betty had me try on a t-shirt bra, wow does that one have padded cups. I said, “why are these cups so hard and formed?”
Betty giggled saying, “Under a thin t-shirt or blouse, you don’t want your nipples sticking out. Some of our form fitting fashions, you need to cover your nipples. We don’t want to show our nipples, dear”.
I thought to myself, what is this “form fitting fashions”. Is she teaching me a woman’s dress code?
Mom really liked the t-shirt bra on me. I thought it made my chest look too big. Mom handed me my shirt to try on. Wow, I could hardly button the shirt over my bustline. There was no room with this size shirt for this padded bra.
Betty smiled and said, “dear, that looks perfect, very nice support, very sweet, but you will need a top with better, deeper darts”.
I told them I don’t want to look sweet and my chest is way to big, I was mad. Plus what is a top with deeper darts, does it hurt?
Mom grabbed my arm and with a stern look said, “You have a large bustline, you need support, grow up and stop being a baby. This is very nice and you will wear this pretty bra and blouse home. Do you understand?”
I looked at Mom and said, “Sorry Mom, it’s just that this top is way to tight and clings to my bra. Isn’t it too tight on me?” as I started to cry again.
My mom hugged me saying this is the way we wear our tops. We are proud of our shape, curves. Our clothes are designed to show our curves, you will learn. She told me I would get use to my new curves and clothes.
New clothes, new tops, all I wanted was a way to help my back pain, not all this feminine stuff. I was nervous and weak.
Wow, never saw Mom like that. I guess I knew who was boss here. I looked at Mom and hugged her saying she knew best and I would try wearing this bra.
We bought 5 bras and matching panties. Could not understand why the panties, but Mom said we are buying them, I was not going to cross her again.
Yes, I got the looks from the ladies and girls in the shop as we left. Everyone knew I was wearing a bra and I was very supported. I was nervous, but Mom kept me walking telling to keep my head up and shoulders back, walk proud son, she said.
As we were leaving a man and his wife or girlfriend was coming into the shop He was clearly wearing a bra. Wow, I just saw another man with my same problem. Guess there are other men out there wearing bras.
Mom whispered in my ear, “See Tommy, there was a another man wearing a bra and he didn’t hide his curves. You are not alone”.
She then drove to the mall, did not know where she was going until she announced I would need some to tops to fit my new figure. I was afraid of what she was going to buy me, women’s clothes I thought. Oh, no this can’t be… we walked right into the women’s section.
I whispered into her ear saying I could not wear women’s tops. Mom smiled and said, “You have no clothes that will fit you now. You will have to wear women’s tops, they are the only tops that will fit your new shape, dear”.
I looked down at my shirt and she was right. I could hardly button this shirt, it was so tight. Mom said, “see it’s so tight I can see your bra right through that gap”. I got so nervous thinking other people could see my bra. I was so frazzled.
Between the new sensations of wear a padded hard cup bra and walking into a lingerie shop and women’s department store, I started crying, right in the store. Mom hugged me saying she understands my emotions and it’s ok to express my feelings so openly.
I looked in a full-length mirror and my silhouette was that of a shapely woman. What was going on here, was my Mom turning me into a woman?
The sales clerk handed my Kleenex and tried to comfort me. Mom seemed all cool and collected already holding up some plain but obviously women’s tops.
I asked her why these tops, she pointed to what she called darts in the front. These are for your bustline, to shape my new shape. What did I know of darts?
I said ok, but do I have to buy a pink color top? Don’t they have black, which would hide my bra?
“Son, nothing will hide your new shape. Get use to showing your bra straps through your tops, it is a fact of life. We wear bras to support our chests. Nothing wrong with that, even on you. You will see. Remember you are expected to wear a bra with that large bustline, it’s better than bouncing all around”.
Since when are men expected to wear bras, I thought.
She picked three tops and grabbed my hand and led me into the dressing room. The clerk was confused but allowed us into the dressing room.
Mom was right, they fit very well. The so-called darts really helped calm down my shape, but could still see a shape on me. Plus the bra was very much a show through.
Again I said I did not like having my bra show through my top.
Mom got stern saying, “son I am buying these blouses, not shirts, to help you adjust to wearing a bra. There is no harm in wearing bra and letting it show through. Think of your bra as your underwear, your t-shirt. If you want we can stop in the lingerie department and get you a camisole to cover your pretty bra”.
What the heck is a camisole, another bra. Wow, everything was happening way to quick. All I wanted when I drove here to Mom’s house was her advise on my problem, now look at me.
I smiled at Mom and said, “what ever you think best Mom, I trust you”.
She kissed me and told me to try on the other blouses. They were more un-sex design and darker, I liked them and Mom knew it.
Mom seems to be enjoying the shopping, like she now had someone to shop with. She dragged me to the lingerie department and bought me a camisole. I thought how could this help stop my show-through? This lacey camisole will show though just as much if not more.
I was happy she didn’t make me try it on. The girls in the department could not take their eyes off me. I knew what they were thinking, I was nervous. I clearly had a bustline, a feminine shape and I could see parts of my bra under my top.
Mom whispered in my ear, “relax son, you are doing nothing wrong and you look fine. You will get use to your new look and your health will improve, you will see. Plus Tommy, all these girls in these departments are wearing bras too, so we are all the same”.
What did that mean? How could that help me, I thought.
We walked through the mall to our car and as I thought, lots of people looked at me but said nothing. I am not sure I will get use to this new look. But I did know I felt much better. I knew my chest was not bouncing all around and did not hurt like before wearing a bra.
I was trying so hard to adjust, Mom kept smiling at me say, “son just smile, people will return the smile and all will be fine”.
I was adjusting my bra saying it was too tight. Mom said, “Tom don’t play with your bra in public, people are watching. Girls don’t adjust our bras in public, it’s not lady like. You will get use to the new feeling, it might take some time to get use to wearing a bra, but you will. Having the support is worth the uncomfortable feeling.
While driving home Mom looked at me with such joy saying, “I really really enjoyed shopping with you today son. I hope you enjoyed it too, son! I hope you can stay a while.
I did stay with Mom longer, it felt so nice being with her. We went shopping a couple more times. I was becoming more relaxed at being out in public with a bra on. I found it hard to completely cover the fact I was wearing a bra. Plus I was feeling really good with the support. My pains were gone.
The following weekend my sister came in for a visit. Strange since she never comes home and now here she’s is all smiles. Her homecoming was a surprise to me as she walked though the door.
This day I was wearing a blouse that really showed off my shape, stretch cling material. I think my Mom got me this top just for her visit.
My sister came in the house all smiles and gave me a huge hug, like no other time. What was up with this?
She then snapped my bra strap. Then I knew, Mom told her and she was here for the show. She said, “Tommy, you snapped my bras straps all the time when I started wearing my training bras, now it’s my turn to snap your training bra. Hope you like it little brother”.
I was embarrassed. She hugged me saying all will be ok and she loved the fact I was wearing a bra to help my health problem. Mom must have told her everything. And what is this training bra talk, what is that bra I thought.
We all sat down and had a long talk. My sister was like a different person; she was so nice to me. She even wanted to take me shopping.
I told her Mom has been taking me shopping all week and I have enough clothes. She laughed and said, “a girl can never have enough clothes, and we are going shopping. It will be so much fun, like sisters shopping for the day”.
Sisters, what is up with that? I didn’t want to burst her excitement, so I said ok.
After dinner, she insisted on me showing her all my new lingerie.
I was embarrassed putting on my new bras in front of her. She saw my hesitation. She said, “don’t get nervous, we are all the same, breasts are breasts, let me show you my pretty bra.” She then took off her blouse and showed me her bra. Wow, here was my sister showing me her breasts. What is wrong with this I thought?
“Tom, don’t get so embarrassed, we are wearing the same bra, silly, we are the same”.
I thought to myself, how could we be the same. I am a man she is a woman. But she was right, our bras were the same. How did that happen?
She giggled saying how much she liked the support and how nice the bra looked under her clothes. She asked me the same thought, “Tom how do you like that bra and the full support?”
I was embarrassed to answer as she said, “Brother, don’ worry, I love you and I am here to help you, now lets see your other pretty bras you bought with Mom.
She is here to help me she said. What is up with that? She was so excited about my new bras, I was having fun with her trying on my new clothes. I liked all the attention she was giving me.
“Tom, can I tell you a secret just between brother and sister?” She told me that her new boyfriend is a crossdresser and she really likes dressing him. She told me it turns her on to dress him up. She has helped him with his makeup and dressing up so much that he totally passes in public now.
I was nervous thinking she might try this on me. That is why she is ok with me wearing a bra and having a bustline. She is turning her boyfriend into a girl.
I was confused; did she want to dress me up too? Will she want me to wear a dress too? Just then Mom came in the room as my sister was adjusting my bra straps. Mom said, “where is my camera when I need it. You two look so cute together in matching bras.”
I got all shy and Mom said, “Son don’t worry, we all having breasts to support, we are glad we can help you learn your new lifestyle”.
What is she saying “lifestyle”?
Mom came over and helped adjust my bra straps, cupping my breasts saying, “you certainly fill out your cups very well, Tommy. This pretty bras does lift and separate your breasts, just beautifully, don’t you think, dear? You really do need to wear a bra, dear.”
“Tom, while you were trying on your new bras, Betty at the store was telling me at my church we have a support group for your Gynecomastia. She thinks you should join the club and try to understand this Gynecomastia more.
I was not sure since I do not live here and would be nervous talking about my problem with other men.
Mom said we would see the committee leader at church tomorrow and we could talk. How would I get out of this?
My sister thought it a fun idea and would come with us tomorrow to church as she playfully snapped my bra strap. I got her strap and we played back and forth, like little kids, little sisters snapping our training bras.
Next morning we all dressed for church. Mom told me the men’s shirt I had on, mine old one was way to tight and gapping and she could see my bra through the holes. I got all nervous, I liked this men’s shirt, it was black and no one could see my bra. I thought I would wear loose sweater and then no one could see I have a bustline.
I think my Mom and sister had other ideas. Like it was all preplanned, my sister pulled out a women’s blouse with what she called darts, saying this has darts and will help and remove that gapping.
I thought, yeh, I learned all about darts from Mom. Real men don’t need darts.
How could I wear this, plus it was very see-though. Mom pushed it on me, helped me in it as she buttoned it up the back quickly. This top was clearly a woman’s blouse. Sis loved it and Mom smiled saying it was perfect.
I looked in the mirror and sure enough, I saw my bra. A perfect outline of my new underwear. It was like they were making me a feminine sign, saying look here my son has a huge bustline and his bra is supporting him. I have a perfect shape, especially with those darts in this woman’s top.
I thought I was going to faint. As they were pulling me out of the room, not letting me fight back, I thought I would wear my black sweater and would hide my bra straps.
Wrong, they dragged me out the back door, no chance to grab my sweater. We were out and I was very nervous. My chest was out there, I could see my bra, my bust was out there for all to see, I thought.
I said to Mom, “I can’t go to church looking like this. I look like a girl up here. I need to cover up”.
“Nonsense Tom you look just fine. Didn’t you notice Tom we are all wearing the same blouse, all three of us” Mom said. How could this be? I can’t walk into church with them. My sister was all smiles, she was really enjoying this. I was in trouble. People will be staring at me for sure.
Mom held my hand, dragging me into church, Mom said, “Tom, stand up, you are bending over”. Yeh, I was trying to hide my bustline.
My sister whispered in my ear, “you look fine, no one is looking at you. Look over there; two other men are wearing bras too. I bet they are in that club you are joining here at church tonight. They have your same disease, see you are not alone Tom”.
I was surprised that no one was looking at me. It was like I was just one of the men in the church. After the service, downstairs at the coffee social those two guys came up to me. They were so nice, not making any remarks but asking me if I wanted to join them tonight at the Men’s Club meeting. Mom pushed me into saying yes. Not a word was talked about our problem at the coffee. These two men were obviously wearing a bra plus tops with darts. They made it look so normal, like this is natural for us to wears bras. Their bustline was just as big as mine. No one had a problem with them nor me wearing a feminine top or bra. Like this was a normal thing here at church.
Back home Sunday afternoon my sister tried to give me a lingerie lesson. We surfed the Internet, went to Victoria Secrets and Secret In Lace websites. Wow, they really have sexy bras. She saw my face light up seeing all the different kinds of bras and colors and sexy looking girls. At least I still had my sex drive.
My sister looked at me and said, “Tom you look excited about these pretty lacey bras, I think we will shop there tomorrow for you. We will have such fun. VS is a great shop for us girls”.
Little did my sister know I was thinking these VS models looked gorgeous. I would love to date one of them, not wear their bras.
I looked at her and got mad. I told her not to call me a girl, I am not a girl. I will not wear a bra if people think I am turning into a girl. I am not like your crossdressing boyfriend.
She hugged me, kissing me, apologized saying she just got carried away. That she just loves pretty lingerie for men.
I accepted her apology and went to my room to get in an afternoon nap.
Mom, tapping me on the shoulder saying I need to get up and have dinner and we are off to church for the Men’s Club meeting.
“Mom, I have a question. I can’t sleep good with these breasts flopping all around. It hurts. Can I wear my old tight t-shirts to hold my chest at night?”
Mom smiled and said, no t-shirts but she has just the thing to help me control that problem. She went to my sister draw and pulled out a nightgown. She said that this nightgown has cups and will support my chest while sleeping.
I thought, oh no, not another girly piece of clothing. She helped me into this short nightgown and wow it did feel good. Held up my breasts, has hard cups as my breast fell right in, lace and flowers all in pink. She handed me matching panties and said this will be perfect.
Perfect? I did not disagree. The top felt good, but panties?
Mom left saying I should get dressed, dinner is served. I got out of the nightgown and I through on a sweatshirt, no bra and went down for dinner.
I thought both my Mom and Sister were going to jump me. Both yelling at me together, “you can’t wear that ugly sweatshirt”?
Wow, where is that coming from? I looked back and said, “so what, I just came down for dinner”.
Mom hugged me saying she was sorry for jumping on me, but it is very important I learn to always wear a bra, all the time. You have to get use to wearing a bra, like second nature putting on your bra, all the time. You need to learn this and we are here to help you. See we are wearing our bras, you should too.
Sis, take Tom back upstairs and get him dressed for church properly. I was so down, weak I could not help but follow my sister back upstairs to change.
I am wondering if those pills Moms doctor gave me to relax me is making me so docile, so submissive.
Sis pulled out one of my new bras and a very shapely blouse. I had no strength to fight her. She smiled as I put on my bra, reminding me to bend forward and adjust my breasts into the cups, like she taught me.
Sis giggled and said, “Your girls are not in your cups Tom. Bend over again and let them fall into your cups again, practice makes perfect”.
What did she call my breasts, girls? What is up with that? This is getting too strange. My Mom and sister have a whole different way of talking. No man ever talks about cups and breasts, bras, girls, like they do. A whole new language.
The blouse was very see thought, but I could not fight it. She said I needed that camisole. She undressed me and slipped on the lacey thin camisole.
Wow, the camisole felt really strange and it did cover up my bra. But after the blouse was on, you could see I was wearing a feminine camisole, lots of lace and still had the shape of a curvy woman.
I could not fight her. I was loosing the battle. She took my hand and led me downstairs; I had no time to re-think my new clothing.
Moms eyes perked right up as I entered the living room. Her smile said she was very pleased with my selections as my sister was smiling with approval.
I was very quiet a dinner and traveling to the Men’s Club meeting at church, as Mom tried to convince me all would be ok. This men’s group will help me understand and deal with my disease.
See Chapter Two soon
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