Thanks Dad for Being There – More Family or Not
By Jessica C
Wow, how I thank the day Jenn took up the guitar and we got to see the other side of Dad. I am not saying I want Dad to be Jaz 24/7, but I am girly and I have enjoyed the change. I have not enjoyed the negative comments, but I can’t say Jaz has been embarrassing to me.
I enjoy that we have been able to shop together and talk in a different way than with Dad; yes I know Jaz too is my Dad. It was far-out and strange getting lingerie for Jaz or me as I am growing.
Giving her make-up and fashion tips has been enjoyable and sometimes funny. Dad always showed up for my dance recitals but whether it is as Dad or Jaz, he’s more really there and interested. His compliments on what I do and how I look are more sincere.
Dad within the week of agreeing to become pregnant if possible, has now put off that idea for one year. He called a family conference where he began the discussion and all of us participated. Everyone agreed the changes were already significantly greater than for most families.
As softball season was close begin, I like playing catch with Jaz and sharing time with Jenn. We pounced on Dad and found out that he was developing a bit more as Jaz. It was startling at first. I was surprised so much that I could not stop trying to tickle her or to see how much her budding nipples might respond.
That may not be a healthy response of a daughter to do to her Dad, but while some dads might be called Jazz, they are neither called Jasmine nor look like one. I still would rather grow up and look like my Mom but to look like Jaz in most ways would be okay with me.
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I would not have been this far along on the guitar if it wasn’t for Dad being there, nor my Mom’s suggestions and the revelation of my real Dad. School this year has been a great learning experience to say the least and not much of what I originally expected. It is not what you might think: My interest and ability in the guitar has resulted in my parents expecting me to keep up a B+ average. Come mid-March I had two A’s, 2 B+’s and one B soon to be my third B+. That did not count A’s in Chorus, Band and Phys. Ed.
I have lost a few friends for the time being, but some have already come back. My skin is a little thicker in some ways, but I have surprised a few as well. When you are the oldest and the first brother is over 5 years behind, one does not put up with some crap that some girls would.
Max, a jerk at school, was a little surprised when I gave him a fat lip and others had to pull me off him. But he shouldn’t have said what he did about my Dad. It’s okay now when Rhonda calls Jaz a Femme, but not too many get away with it, because they don’t mean it with affection like she does. Max’s remarks were far worse and I had warned him I would put up with only so much. I did get detention and threatened with more, especially at home.
Jaz has needed to help in the band three times now. I would rather we didn’t need her but it was especially appreciated as she needed to change Joe to Jaz to do so. I would have preferred Mom that night, but I was glad she lent the clothes and make-up. Dad is the quicker and better of the two in changing over to Band-mode.
I was glad when Dad decided to put of becoming pregnant. But it reminded us that Dad needed to train others to run the sound board. Mom even talked to me about Dad being implanted with a fertilized egg. I first told her, “that is more than a teenage daughter wants to hear.” Several days later I asked, “How is that possible?”
Mom has gone back to school; the hospital wanted her as a physician’s assistant, but she got accepted to become a medical doctor, way to go parents. he was doing clinical work at our hospital as well as going to a medical school some thirty-five miles away.
Darla would meet us at the hospital and Mom was told she cannot work on the next patient coming in. But Mom is sent up to the nursery to get Sherry ready to be nursed. Sherry’s mom was in Critical Care having been in an accident 24 hours earlier and causing her to give birth to Sherry.
Jaz took some medication that night, having talked to Darla earlier. It would cause Jaz’s breasts to begin to lactate. The Mom would recover and Sherry would be the child of a single parent who loved her dearly, but we became family that night. Jaz nursed her for 8-9 days and some of Dad’s breast tissue was forever changed.
The engorging of breasts can be overwhelming enough for a pregnant woman, for an unsuspecting father I am sure it was overwhelming. I was one of many people who were proud of my Dad. He was unrealistic in thinking it would be all fun.
Dad had built up a lot of medical leave and flex-time and was allowed to take one week of medical leave, three flex days and a week of vacation time he had built up. Which was good, though she was three weeks early, was ready to go home in just over a week. The mother, Sara Spires, would be laid up in the hospital for another week, with three months of rehab for her recovery.
Sara’s home and work place were 120 miles away on the southwest of Newark, Delaware and she had attended a business meeting in the Boston area as well as acting as a company courier into NYC. Despite the distance and demands on Sara all reports on the accident were that she was an innocent victim of others poor driving mistakes.
Her folks lived over a thousand miles away and were judging her harshly for becoming pregnant while not married. They were already angry she had taken a job living so far away. They were sweet over the phone, but they gave her the ultimatum for her to give Sara over to them and returned home or to give Sara up for adoption and come home to recover from the accident.
Karen and Joe/Jaz Stamps had fallen in love with Sherry and Sara and offered their place and family for both. Mom and Dad quickly had plans to two bedrooms and a full bathroom to the house. Sara’s company was making settlement offers that sounded sizeable. Dad as part of his job had dealt in this area numerous times.
Through a lawyer a casual counter offer of medical and living expenses plus the cost of a new vehicle, and an increase in settlement terms were made as a counter offer. The company baulked at settling but the insurance company, knew a suit would be much more costly not including legal fees and court costs. Luckily a window of 10 days to respond and thirty days to make good on the settlement was given.
Dad and Jenn traveled the day before Sara was to come home to her place to pick up her belongings including a crib, nursery furniture, many baby things and a modest about of furniture and clothing for Sara. Sara’s ex-love and Sherry’s Dad was neither in the picture nor wanting to be.
The first time Jaz brought Sherry into Sara’s room to Nurse was a difficult time. Jaz and the nurse gave plenty of time and patience to help it me successful. Yet Jaz was needed to finish nursing the baby as it would take two days for Sara’s milk to come into full production.
I was pretty sure then we were only marking time before Dad would be with child, thankfully not right now…
One of my great joys that year was the picture I got to take of Joe/Jaz and none was more precious than Jaz nursing her first baby. “Ouch!” Jaz thought it was all pretty and fun, but Sherry chomped down on her engorged breasts with more force and suction than Jaz expected.
Jaz was just about to yell about the pain, when the joy of Sherry nursing swept over Jaz and I began to click off the pictures. Sherry paused and Jaz knew to lift her and lightly pat her back until she burped. Jan wiped her mouth and placed Sherry’s cheek next to her other nipple. Sherry instinctively turned, opened her mouth and began to suckle on the other breast. As Sherry was full she just fell to sleep while nursing on the breast. Jas tried to move Sherry away but the baby locked down on the nipple and Jas just laid back rocking the sleeping baby until a nurse came.
The nurse broke the seal by lightly putting her finger between the mouth and nipple. “You make a very good mommy.” Jaz lit up with a smile and thanked her. She took the baby in one hand and took Jaz by another, saying “I could use your help.” The three went back to the nursery and gave Sherry to another to clean, change and put back in her bassinet.
The nurse cleaned Jaz and brought another baby sharing I greatly appreciate your helping us. It was not like Jaz was out of milk. But this baby messed her diaper as she just began to drink. Jaz like a trooper held the baby’s head nursing and used her other hand to change, clean and put the new diaper back on.
The nurse upon returning watched the last of Jaz caring for the baby. “Are you Dr. Darla’s would be mom?” Jaz looked up with puppy eyes and received the praise of the nurse. “Jasmine, I know Karen quite well and I know she is awfully proud of you. She speaks so affectionately about how beautiful you are as a lover.”
I had come from behind Jaz, nibbled on her ear and slipped my hand underneath her gown. With the look of a shy young woman Jaz looked to the nurse and I slowly grew in the affection I was giving her. Jaz was being turned on as a woman and I could not help but take her into a deep orgasm. Jaz wanted to return the affection but all I would allow was a warm passionate kiss. I took Jaz back to a room so she could rest until Sherry and the other baby needed her again.
Sara was the single mother to Sherry and eight days from being released from the hospital, but with somme months of recuperating ahead of her. I asked Jenn what she thought about Sherry recuperating with us. I thought she and the baby could be in the guest room.
“If she stays with us she needs to know about Jaz. Meg and I have talked and we think we shouldn’t move into the guest room but she should have our bedrooms as a two room apartment with a bathroom. …We will probably kill each other, but we just thought she needs a little more extra space than just one room.”
I talked to Megan to make sure she was in agreement and I had to laugh as she said, “Yes, since Dad’s change Jenn has become a bit more girly and easier to live with. She even has some stuff I wouldn’t mind borrowing.”
I visited with Sara over my lunch break and she cried about having a place to go and support for her and Sherry. She knew about Jaz and even had Sherry and Jaz in her room nursing. She broke down again when I said Jenn and Megan wanted to give her their two rooms so she would have more space.
That weekend Joe and a buddy put in a wide connecting doorway into Jenn and Megan rooms and expanded the guestroom closet to be a large walk in closet for the girls. Luckily we had an oversized laundry room that they cut into.
It was funny watching Joe in his bibbed overalls and Bill working together as guys and Jaz’s hips and bust snuggly fitting into his clothes. Come Saturday noon Joe changed into Jaz’s work clothes.
By 3 p.m. Bill had started to give Joe a hard time about distracting him, “Here I am trying to make sure things are straight and level and you distract me with curving lines and bumps that I can’t balance with my image of Joe.”
Bill co-opted his son and Jenn to help and the projects picked up the needed hands to get the work done.
Joe physically and emotionally had trouble doing the work with breasts that were active producing milk. Even with the proper bra and two nursing pads he leaked out onto his work shirt. I took him to our room and had him use the breast pump to fill several small bottles.
It was nothing new that I or other working Moms hadn’t experienced. Mood swings, body changes and embarrassing moments all took some getting used to. Jaz/Joe had one additional problem regular women did not. While Jaz was in our room pumping her breasts, I notice a uniquely male odor associated with Joe.
Upon finishing pumping her breasts and fixing herself up top; I pushed her down on the bed and undid Joe’s pants. He thought I was getting interested in him and willingly stayed down.
I checked Jaz’s panty like a mom might check a diaper. It was messed by a man who had more than one ejaculation while working and nursing. I calmly cleaned him up and put on a clean pair of pink panties. When he stood up I undressed his top and put him to bed in a nightgown, saying “You are through for the afternoon, get some rest.” He tried arguing about his duty to Joe and as a worker.
I took him over to my side of the bed and sat him down as a woman and we talked through the past six months, and shared she was a nursing mom and things were catching up to her. Jaz lay down on my side of the bed and I stroked her back and ran my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep.
Needless to say the others had no trouble that Joe did not come back to work. Bill commented on his respect for Joe, “He’s doing more than I could. It’s like he’s trying to be me and Marge in one body. …You realize how hard it is, that’s why you are opening your house to a single mom.”
That was 3 p.m. and at six I got Jaz up to eat before we went to the hospital. Megan and I had painted the guest room for the girls. It was a joyful time at the hospital as we watched Sara nurse her daughter. Jaz pumped a couple of bottles for the night. Sara was making good progress. Her parents had been there early in the day and would be back tomorrow. But they lived almost a thousand miles away in a place that was not Kerry’s home. And Sara’s apartment and work were over hundred miles away. We would probably be Sara’s home and family well into next year.
Her folks were not pleased that Jaz was transgendered and disgusted that Sara I accepted our help. I suspect if it had not been for Sherry they would have divorced their daughter. Sara shared she could cook and would learn to cook and clean as we liked. She was pleased, and even wondered if we were god sent in light of her accident.
Sherry was working for a competitor to IOTEK, but it was a man’s company and not warm. She had worked long hours and not made many friends since she went there. Wanda already shared Sara would have a place with them when she was well enough to return to work, if she wanted it. Her present employer already communicated her sick time and maternity leave were running on the same clock.
Joe had quickly come not only to care for Sherry, but liked the talents of Sara as a possible co-worker at IOTEK. The fact that Kerry was comfortable with Jaz and liked by the family made her that much more attractive. He and I felt quite blessed with the support we had. It is our experience: so many in the TG community have it much rougher with less visible support out in the regular community.
The middle of that week we got to bring Sara and Sherry home and it was such a joy. The day before Bill, Joe and Jenn went up to Sara’s apartment and brought back the baby stuff she already had like a pretty changing table, several pieces of living room furniture for the extra room and her bed, chest of drawers and her clothes, make-up and care products.
Sara was delighted to be out of the hospital, and broke down into tears when she saw so much of her stuff to make the two rooms and bathroom hers.
Come Friday morning, I was an hour away from being home and Sara had an accident she could not clean alone. Joe changed to Jaz and gave Sara the help she needed. I had wished Jenn would have done it, but she was not up to it. Luckily Joe had been there years before with me and so Jaz knew what she needed to do. I suspect she even had a touch and way about her that Joe earlier did not.
I was surprised come Sunday a party was in preparation for Sunday afternoon and I was being kept out of the preparation since it was a rare weekend for me to work. I just assumed it was for Sara and Sherry, but soon would learn that shower was the following week. Jaz/Joe, Jenn and the other kids had decided months ago, after Dad’s pregnancy they would have a surprise party for me and it was quite a surprise.
My folks showed up at four and the party began at 5:00. Nurses and other staff even a few doctors came, in addition to Dr. Darla. Neighbors, some from the church and our kids friends came as well as people who knew us socially as Karen and Joe/Jaz. The first two hours Joe was visible with his breasts tightly wrapped. Come 7:00 the wrapping came off and Joe changed to Jaz. Jenn and Rhonda provided some entertainment come six and the children expressed their caring and thanks to me.
Special attention was given to me about my caring and my giving room to Dad’s life blossoming for them. I was called the ‘Unsung Hero” for Dad, Sara and Sherry Spires and being the nightly ghost who went to work and was now studying to be a “Doctor”.
My Dad and Mom did not enjoy all the humor. Jenn said “She may be the only Mom whose husband could almost fill her bra… Dad gives you incentive to keep your weight down or worry that he could wear your clothes.”
Megan said, “We did not only discover a new part of Dad, but a long hidden part of Mom. She sings, plays a mean keyboard and a good guitar. She is not a square mom who just drives a van… She has been Dr. Mom to us for a long time, but soon the world would know it too. She was already a great nurse and Mom and didn’t need to change. She would soon become a doctor but always have the heart of a nurse and mom.”
Dad’s parents had come and after they spoke briefly, the Robins spoke up and verbalized their pride in her as well as their love. It may have been the greatest, unexpected gift of the evening. They didn’t say a word about Jaz nor much about Joe, but they renewed their love for me and my family.
Jaz appeared come 7:15 as both Joe and Jaz played and sang. Joe/Jaz tried to speak about what I meant to him. Time and again he/she was overwhelmed with tears and emotion. It was through the guitar and song that the love and conviction was most clearly heard.
Finally he confessed aloud that “Without Karen, Jasmine would never be alive but only an imaginary part of me who never lived, but died stillborn. I could have been a three headed monster, a guy dressed as a girl clown, a discarded spouse and a cast off dad… She bears over twice the burden of insults and hurt that comes our family’s way. She gets about 1% of the appreciation expressed.”
Cathy and Dan expressed things purely wrapped in the words and persons of young children. “We guess she’s special but to us she has always been Mom. When others speak about the special things their moms do, we see it as ordinary for our Mom and wonder what is so special. She may be extra beautiful come Easter and Mother’s Day, but everyday she is pretty and loving… We know she doesn’t always feel like making dinner nor is happy with things we have done wrong… But the biggest hurt we receive when she is hard with us, and the tears it brings to her eyes… Sometimes when Daddy is in a dress, Mom works to make him look more beautiful… I think sometimes she’s sad and hides her tears… She expresses love to Dad the same ordinary way she does to us.”
People could hardly talk when they finished speaking. We did use the last the tissues we had.
I wished I could have wrapped those kids in my arms and hid the rest of the night away, but alas I was so happy inside. I am glad I am me and not Joe/Jaz. I think it is easier being the same person all the time. I wish Joe was Joe more often, and I wished that Jaz was not growing to be a bigger part of that life. Jaz for now and I suspect forever is part of the person I love as my mate.
Some people say I am strong and ask how I can do what I do. I say I am in love and married and that the two/three have become one. I love the idea that Jaz could someday bear our child, I am not sure I can talk her into that.
Dad’s back to a new normal, dressing sometimes as himself and his breasts are returning to a new normal a size b, hardly noticeable if wrapped and he’s wearing bulky clothes. Dad is back to being Dad in the way he is there for us 90% of the time. Cathy is the only one who regularly gets away with putting her hand into his shirt and touching a breast. Not true if Sherry does it too. It is funny when Dad holds Sherry out in public and sometimes you can see where she tried to nurse him. That is especially true when we are out with Jaz.
I am beginning high school and The Mind Changers are getting more requests. We would be extra busy if our parents wouldn’t force us to be school members first. I have to keep band which means marching in the fall and playing for games. I did insist in regular band I play a guitar whenever I can. The band instructor fought me, but with my parents support I won most of the compromise.
I do think we have one of the coolest pep bands at the high school level. “We are the Champions and many other popular songs sound better with guitars and Rhonda’s drums.” Playing Another One Bites the Dust probably wasn’t responsible for three more victories this year, but it is much nicer when we get to play it.
We did not play it when we won a 10-7 game over our arch-rival. The Seniors were angry with us until a newspaper said it reflected class and proper respect for the game of a good rival. We didn’t do it to get more business but it did earn the Mind Changers a couple of more gigs.
Meg got most of the household into something new come late September. She had read an article and wrote a report for her class. The assignment was to encourage people to make a difference with little to no cost. Someone challenged her as she anticipated about practicing what she what she was asking of others. The project was for donating a pony tail of hair in love for those who have lost hair due to cancer or other health reasons. Megan usually had long hair anyway and since May she only once had split ends cut off.
Cathy looked up to her sister and already enjoyed long hair. The hard sells were to me and Mom. Mom shared she would try but as a nurse and medical student she was not sure if she could. Mom suggested if Jaz would she would try too.
Dad for six weeks now was trying to be Joe as much as he could. Unbeknown to Dad, Megan recruited Wanda’s support through Dad’s work. Dad quickly volunteered to grow his hair 12” long, if it would be okay with his work place. Dad had tried to make the request to an unsympathetic VP of Marketing.
But Wanda required the request go up the normal route which was first through her. Wanda made one request and that was for Dad either to dress full-time as Jaz or to cut the hair if it would become a problem.
Megan reported at dinner that she had all family members save one, Dan. Dan’s refusal got support from both Mom and Dad. Sara shared if it was six volunteers from the house Meg was looking for she would be more than happy to be the sixth.
Megan made a formal request for volunteers during her class presentation and opened it to all within the school district. She gave a sign up date for just before Thanksgiving – Locks for Thanksgiving. The final tally was seven teachers, 57 seven students and another 33 from the community. One nice surprise was some twelve volunteers were male. Three salons offered participants free shampoos, conditioning and styling.
For most volunteers it would become an 18 month commitment.
Our band was invited to play at a dance two towns over, but we were the second band to be listed. Rhonda and Sara had already agreed we would do the dance. The other band was well known and we were afraid of being outclassed. We were to have two 45 minutes segments but the headline band threatened to cut us down to 30 minutes each time.
Dad got on the phone and used Jaz’s voice. Later he shared with our band, he had been in that circumstance several times and the most effective way through was to listen but not to agree. He suggested we finish each segment with a segment of four or more songs. We needed to be ready to perform really well. He would gently raise the volume as we went to the next song. After our first 45 minute segment, Sara gave a warm welcome to the other band. They being angry with us were caught off guard by our nice introduction and their first two songs came across weak and dragging. We were ready and began to play as soon as they took their break.
During the second segment we did two songs that we knew but had not yet played in performance. Dad had done his home work and our two new songs were regular standards of the other band. One they kept but it did not go over well with the crowd.
The other band had prepared and expected to end at 11:00 pm. which was normal for school dances, but community centers traditionally had bands playing until 11:30 and hoped they would do a couple of extra songs past that. While we had turned off our instruments and pulled off our guitars at the end of our second performance we were ready and plugging things in when they closed at 11:00.
The community boosters who sponsored the dance had not realized that the lead band had filled in the wrong performance times. They appreciated our being ready and filling in the extra time.
It earned us the extra $50 given as bonuses for good performances. The extra money was nice but the fact there were at least three scouts for future performances was even better. Since we were limiting our performances, we had more request than we could fill.
Dad did not make our decisions but as the adult he was often the one first approached for future performances. That night we would receive three offers, as well as having received three offers the past two weeks. Dad casually informed them there were six requests for every 3-4 open dates.
The terms on four of the requests were significantly increased. The fourth date was blocked out for a holiday concert at the regional hospital. Karen, Joe and Jaz were all on the hour and half program. Dad hoped to end the concert as Joe but we inked in Karen and Joe to open the concert and featured Dad on the guitar to finish their segment.
It was neat as Joe stayed and played some. He was usually just an extra guitar and stayed in the background being there for us. Rhonda and Sara both complimented on how great it was that such a talent enhanced the program yet was so invisible.
When Jaz came back later with Mom, Jaz fit into the group as another member. The closing number if there would be no encore was a duet by Sara and me but Sara gave her part to Jaz. The crowd was especially quiet and into our singing. It received one of the biggest ovations of the night.
Most didn’t get the implications, but come Silent Night, I handed Jaz, Dad’s guitar. After the first verse he alone accompanied the band and the crowd in the song. The concert was played over the hospital’s TV channel. Comments following the concert were that Silent Night moved patients and staff around the hospital, “It was as if the Spirit of all that is holy engulfed and moved through the hospital and eased many over and again.”
During the concert Sara, Robin, Karen, Jaz and I were asked to interact with the audience on at least one song. Sara and I did it on quite a few songs so it did not seem any big deal. The third song Jaz was with us I tapped her and pointed to a group of doctors. She was singing a ballad and was at her third doctor when he began to dance with her as she was already gently moving. At the end of the song he asked her if she would sing to a group of children after the concert.
An hour after the concert we had been greeted by many in the crowd, took turns at the reception and in packing our stuff. Karen and I were visiting when Dr. Michaels approached sharing’ a small group of patients were still waiting. I asked Karen to go but the band needed her to drive the band Van back to Rhonda’s and get us home.
She told Dr. Michaels, he either released Jaz from her obligation or needed to drive her home. I took my guitar and our small amplifier with him. Dr. Michaels led me to the Ped unit and she was a quit hit with the children. Seven had stayed up and another ten came out as I sang and played. One teen requested me to sing a song to Dr. Michaels. It was a romantic song and as Jaz was ending the song, Dr. Michaels thanked her with a kiss and hug.
I visited with two patients one on one at the staff’s request as Dr. Michaels checked on some patients. Dr. Michaels was tired and distraught over one of his patients. We visited in the doctors’ lounge and I was not thinking of it as a man and woman visiting as I consoled him.
But I did realize I was becoming passionate with him and a hug ended with a warm kiss. We knew we were at an awkward place but I either needed him to drive me home or call Karen for a ride. We had placed the equipment in his back seat, but as I was ready to get in the front seat we were again locked in a passionate embrace. On the way home Doc shared he was attracted to women like me and would like to rendezvous with me some time. By the time I got home I communicated I would not be meeting with him, but he walked me to the door with the amplifier and gave me another kiss as we said good-bye.
Having put the equipment away I was going to take a shower and go to bed. Karen asked me how the night went and why things took so long, and realized I was crying as I tried to answer. I shared what happened and she was both hurt yet understanding.
It was a long day for both of you and I did not warn you that he would be attracted to you. I shared that when I began to take time and listen I did so as Joe, but appeared and responded as Jaz. Karen told me, “I hate to tell you that his indiscretions as a doctor are usually overlooked and the woman needs to stop things or accept her part in such encounters.”
“I accept my part in it but I am ashamed.” We talked and Karen shared she too needed to learn as she has found herself in embraces with three other women the past year, before she backed away. The relationship as Karen and Jaz had opened emotions and situations we were not use to dealing with.
“I do not mean to extend this as a statement of permission, but I would not be surprised you are bedded by someone who knows who you are. I have visited with Dr. Darla and a psychiatrist in this area. They both think you probably want and are likely to seek a man to love you and penetrate you… Part of me is happy you said no to Dr. Michaels and part of me hopes it is someone like him who you do it with.”
“How can you say that?”
“Can you tell me, you are not going to take someone to bed who can penetrate you and physically love like that?” I started to say ‘No’ three times but stopped. I knew I had, I felt if Dr. Michaels had led me to a safe room it might have happened tonight.
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