My Super Secret Life-23.

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My Super Secret Life-23.

Chapter 23

Okay going to the mall with Terry and her Mom was a really good time and it helped me get my mind off of things. I even kind of had a few of these really cool moments where I could see Terry’s fledgling girl soul starting to flourish and come out into the foreground of her new self.

It makes me wonder because am I like that remotely?

I mean I can see Terry really wanting to get out from under that place that he’d been living in socially. I mean I didn’t get it but I remembered more and more these incidental little things about Terry and stuff that was just part of the background in my old life.

It’s a pretty strange feeling being able to look back on events that happened to you in your head and have someone that you’re with now there as a person that wasn’t even on your radar but now it’s like I can remember every little detail that I was exposed to then whether it was on my radar or not at the time.

And I get it.

I cans remember just how much it meant for me to be popular, and how all consuming that was that I was the best and the most loved/hated/feared and the best looking, with the best boyfriend and all of that stuff.

Terry was just treated like trash, not even trash because most people ignore trash and terry was bullied. I’m just glad that I wasn’t directly one of them but I know I was part of it all in the big elitist picture.

But Terry is so well adjusted or adjusting really well to the new self she has it’s had me wondering a lot of our trip about me and being Titan.

So after I drop off everyone and the stuff that I had gotten for everyone I head to my quarters here at The Tower.

I take a breath and release Titan.

I sort of call it that because it’s just I am sort of squeezing in someone a lot bigger into Sunny.

Actually it feels like I do when I lay out tanning only like it’s sped up. Like that heat from the sunshine is just building and building until it fills me and then I feel like I’ve been working out hard like you know when you can start to feel all your muscles. Well it’s like that and by the time that sun like heat fades that strong muscled feeling settles into being Titan.

Into being me.

Okay as bad as it might sound the first thing I generally do if I can is to go and take a shower and sort of wash the Sunny off.

Not that I’m doing that in a bad way but there are traces of her on me and yes I’m referring to her in a way that she’s like a separate person from me. No a good shower sort of lets me connect to being me.

Though it really is evident I need to get a grip after my shower and my little fantasy session about seeing Terry nearly naked so many times that my friend…likely right now my best friend when I’m Sunny…I got too caught up in it and well one thing lead to another and…

Oh god that’s such a powerful release and I’m even panting when I’m done leaning on the wall of the shower.

God she’s got great breasts….hell with all those curves and muscle she’s got a great everything else too.

“Great just great I’m lusting after Terry and Shane.”

Just thinking about Shane and her tight awesome hot little Japanese body has me stirring again.”

I look down at my crotch and towel. “Oh fucking shut the hell up.”

God…face palm.

“Oh I’m such a guy; I’m already talking to it.”

Kind of disturbed and vaguely disgusted with myself I head into the bed room and get changed into some of the provided work out clothes and check my messages.

Nothing.

Okay Sasha could be doing anything right now and in a city of this size the Firefighters are always bust with something so I hit the gym.

I try to work out me frustrations with my sexual things by trying to be the whole typical guy if I’m not using typical gear but I hit the weights and the universal equipment and then hit the boxing targets…bags don’t really work when you are really super strong you need something designed to be able to bleed off the force of the hits and be built to last. I’m a lot of super weight classes below either one of the Champions and the stuff here is built for even them to not trash.

I’m there about two hours before I actually head out after another shower this time just transforming into my usual clothes and outfit kind of thing and it’s dark now so I head out and start to patrol the city.

It helps having an ear-com to keep abreast of everything but it’s a bitch getting used to address’s while running and jumping and doing parkour. I really need to get some real life training in that as Sunny so that it’ll sort of translate over.

I start to respond to calls. I’m a Champion so it’s only the whole officer needs assistance calls that we try to respond to. The actual police get a bit testy when you snag a call from them and start doing their jobs for them. There’s a lot of the cape set that do that but not when you’re part of a registered and historied super-team.

I’m really glad that I’m bullet proof. You’d think even now-a-days we could have the skills and the tech to keep automatic weapons out of the hands of civilians or rather the criminals but then again if they played by the rules they wouldn’t be criminals.

It’s mostly in the deeper parts of south side Paradise City. These aren’t close to the beaches because well ocean front there if not like this even if it’s still a dangerous place.

No this is Southside and it’s the old areas that had become basically the projects and the left behind areas in the city. It’s a jigsaw puzzle of ethnics and gang turfs and lots of trouble sometimes. Well all the time but I’m trying to be nice about things.

My first call was supporting a Narco unit taking a drug house that got dicey. And by dicey I mean fully automatic combat shotguns.

The thing is deceptively simple. I take a vest with me and I walk in first and play human shield. I get hit and shot at and I take it even though it hurts and stings and a shotgun slug does hurt, it doesn’t break my skin but it hurts. So I muscle my way inside and the first thing I do it grab the guns and crush them before even hitting them.

Deceptively is the key word because it’s the fact that there are family members there and these guys run this stuff out of their homes. I knock a gun the wrong way and someone innocent could get hurt.

That time it didn’t turn out like that.

Or the two that followed right after that either. But the last one was just…just…it was in the basement of an old industrial building and there were all these young teen and pre-teen girls there naked except for a thong, rubber gloves and shitty quality filter masks processing the drugs and they were instantly a hazard.

And the stuff was to keep them from stealing it more than exposure. Most had been exposed to the drugs and were high eyes glazed over but still aware because they’d been doing this for so long they were second hand junkies.

The dealers don’t care because they get fucked up from withdrawal if they quit and them getting hooked usually means they’ll stick around as well as be ripe for getting turned out into the streets as hookers.

Or put into bang-bang rooms that were upstairs.

And there were kids there because these kids themselves would get pregnant and had no one or nothing in their lives to rely on except for the money from the drugs and the sex trade.

It’s the abject misery there that got to me the worst and the fact when these girls were getting processed they just took all of it even arrested with this not really caring because this, this to them was what life was.

You could see some of them never had a chance. Just were literally brought up like this because they were the poor, the left behinds and….

Just like any of those 3rd world rated colonies. Hope was and is something some alien to them that you literally can’t see it in their eyes.

I had to get out of there and I left once things got wrapped up just sort of getting chased out by that atmosphere there that was choking me.

It’s the 27th century; we shouldn’t be seeing this sort of thing anymore!

I wander, jumping around sort of gliding and catching air until it was really late and I end up at Sasha’s place. I landed in at the balcony and I went to knock.

Then I heard the sounds of her having sex…I made her make those sounds myself and yeah…

Boy…I’m kind of naive stupid right? Was I really expecting her to be holding a torch and waiting for me to call her? She’s a grown woman, and what we had was one of those heat of the moment things.

It still hurt though but that’s what being a kid is though me being stupid enough to think that she’d just be waiting to see me again and all excited and everything.

Sigh.

I let myself fall off the railing before kicking off from the side of her building. I tend to make a decent sized thump from the force of my legs when I do that and I really don’t want her to know that I was there. After leaving her the phone message it’d just seem kind of loserish and maybe a bit teen stalker like too.

I head out and actually just practice this a bit. Trying to get into this rhythm of jumping off the side of a building but to another and sort of bounce-jumping from one to another and even running along the side of a building when I have enough speed to get to my next jump point.

I miss a few times, fall three times just running out of building and not knowing the aerial geography. They never really show the hours that you put into practicing stuff like that, to learn these super skills that they just pull off so easy in books and movies.

It helps though, it helps take my mind off Sasha and Matt/Alexis and mostly helps me get through those kids and those situations and how there is just so many that slip through the cracks!

I’m actually getting more and more steamed all over again now. Things were so much simpler when I was just a needy, greedy bimbo and I never would have clued into these things happening to the same reality as I was living in!

It’d never hurt like this and I’d have just addle-minded my way through life sleeping my way to whatever I wanted!

I hear a call over my headset out in the Diamond Hills shopping district and there’s a call for back up that actually gets cut off with some violent trauma sounds.

I know that address its right at one of the intersections of one of the main shopping areas. I shop there a bit but it was practically bimbo me’s second home. Very Rodeo drive kind of setting.

I see it going on before I even get there and there’s an armored car. Not like one that transports money but more like something out of those Death race movies. There’s two security firm cars on fire and a limousine with its front third sliced in half and three police cars in the same way…as well as several cops either sliced in half or with big holes in their bodies.

There’s some guy with a red body suit that’s like leathers mixed with hard armor and a dark tinted visor in the helmet mask. There’s several merc like guys in almost SWAT like gear with him and their dragging this woman to the armored car and she’s screaming.

I land hard with an almost stomp will myself heavy on the armored car and drive it into the pavement and pushing the roof in like it was a pop can getting squeezed and folded in half.

The Red guy turns fast looking at me and opening fire with this blast of energy from his fist. I was expecting him to do that just by the way that his body was turning and I twist sideways avoiding the beam.

I felt the heat and the power of it though. That, that would have likely hurt.

I’m dodging now because he just doesn’t leave it at one and he doesn’t even say shit either. No snappy banter no villain monologs. He’s just trying to kill me. I really hate it when the bad guys are halfway competent.

The girl isn’t co-operating with him either still screaming at him to “Let me the fuck go you fucking asshole!” she pulls on his arm hard enough that his shot gets pulled off and misses me.

It would have hit too.

He shoves her at one of the mercs and he goes to use both hands to fire on me and I copy Matt and I drop under the shots. Just like a fall but I use my new push off a building jump trick to shove off the curb of the sidewalk in a super leap styled football tackle.

Ugh…it felt like I tackled the lamp post.

He’s solid.

And we go flying in through the wall of Sports unlimited and through all the aisles of stock and stuff to crash into some of the displays and I roll over ontop of us and start hammering on him hard and well…

I get three hits in before he starts to hit me back only he’s hitting me better and like he’s trained for it. I’m all of a sudden the big kid that can scrap in a fight with a marine or something.

It gets worse, he’s as strong as me or he’s close to it and like I said he knows how to fight and before I know it I get my first ever shot to the balls…

Ooooooohhh…

Then I drop choking as I get a shot to the throat.

Fuck that hurt.

Then there’s this surge of red light as his energy ramps up and I’m trying to breathe and he levels both hands at me and cuts loose with a built up blast.

I remember it hurt; it burned and broke things…? I pass out seeing bits of burned t-shirts and stuff floating down on me as I lay there in the street…

I don’t even know who the hell he was.

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Comments

Titan annoys me

A teenager in a grown man's body. A teenage girl in a super powered man's body for that matter, as if teenagers do not think they were invulnerable in the first place.

Still needs training at this point and too much male pride (already) to ask for help.

It is just that very testosterone that drove me crazy when I had been a boy. Not just the effect on the body but on the mind and that obsessiveness that seems to come along with it.

Something good may come out of this beating he is taking but not holding my breath. It bothers me that Titan 'shakes off Sunny' as her native caution might be a good thing. Frankly Titan is a big ol' loser to me despite his pretensions to superherodom. And no, don't give me the 'cut him/her some slack because of youth' thing either.

I think I see why stories of going the F->M route is not a great thing for me, not merely because of me being M->F, but the male/hypermasculine head space has never been a favorite of mind and obviously I have had personal experience with it too.

I am not saying men do not have the potential to be good people but ...

Edit: The other issue is that Sunny never gets to be Titan all of the time so there is little time to adapt to this massive influx of ego and to deal with the hormones. I think the reverse of going from M->F superheroine (btw, my web browser considers 'superheroine' a misspelled word whereas 'superhero' is not *rolls eyes*) route might be easier to deal with just due to the reduction in drive actually, allowing a less testosterone driven experience to help.

Kim

I agree Kim

Titan is unbalanced. It seems that he's a completely different personality to Sunny, who has grown so much and has superior qualities.
On the other hand, I don't think that many authors on this site portray men unrealisticly. Too many of the women in the stories are also unbalanced- a well balanced person has their masculine and feminine sides working together. It doesn't matter what body people choose to have or need, as long as they realise that the human brain has a male and female side- one can be more fem. or more mas. but too much is unhealthy.
People (especially superheroes) need to be mentally balanced.

FTM Learning curves and stories.

Sunny/Titan is lost in the impressions of what it's supposed to be like to be a guy when they shift forms. It's only human for him to be screwing up a lot all of the time. This too shall pass as they say. I do find a lot of stories leaning on the oh look I'm a girl and everything's all better side of things. I'm just...

Be patient most guys have no idea how to be real men until they are a lot more experienced if ever.

*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

I can see why you think that

I can see why you think that way. I don't understand that super male thingy either, it's certainly not testosteron - I think. I never was like that, even in puberty. Not sure what is going on with Titan, but I'd guess he's simply overwhelmed and stressed and reacts in a male way, aka stupid.
I kind of doubt he's killed and I don't understand why he needs to act like a male stereotype, but I guess Bailey will explain that later ;)

Bailey, thank you for writing this interesting story,

*hugs*
Beyogi

My testosterone never left me a thugish idiot either.

Still doesn't it depends a lot on who you are, where you grew up and how you were raised for any behavior no matter the gender. Beyogi's right but it's also Sunny's experience with men has molded her attitude as Titan even Matt had been hiding who he was under the layers of sports jock. Her father who is a decent guy was the father at work all the time who gave her everything she wanted so to not feel as guilty. The rest where people who wanted her for various reasons and the boyfriends of the cheerleading squad types.

The stereotype's based on Sunny's learned perspective of men.
*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Titan and Testosterone and Male Stereotypes

I try to confine my thuggish idiot behavior to when I play Grand Theft Auto, which is a much better outlet for it than real life. Nobody gets hurt but pixel-people.

Looks like Ty's eating some humble pie now. As he was approaching the scene, my first thought was he should call any other Champions nearby to help...

Angel Lees
Bailey's Angel
and
Part-time Carjacker

(Still wish GTA let you pick a female character, though...)

17 and I'm invulnerable!

There was a lot of that happening. So far Titan's come up against some pretty lightweight opponents not counting Magog who he had tricked. By the time he had realized he was in over his head he was well in over his head.

I usually get to release my thuggish behavior at work when people are being troublesome.
Y'know some pixel-people are smarter than some of the ones I deal with.
Thanks Lees:)
*Great Big Angel Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

When not laying in a burned, blasted heap...Titan's.

Reacting to himself and the world in a lot of the ways the way that he things that guys are without having the experience as a guy themselves.

And a lot of Sunny's guy impressions are formed by not just Pre-Serum Sunny but Pre-Matt Sunny. She hasn't really sat down to really get a grip she desperately needs on that situation. She might even need professional help to come to terms with it all and find a balance.

And there is she's not Titan all the time. But who is going to tell her that she needs to do this. It's gender stuff and that's tricky.

*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

oh no...

please hurry and put the new one up soon, don't leave me hanging here!

LOL Cliff I'll try.

Seeing as Titan's behavior is generating neat comments and it's in the middle of a fight.
*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Sunny/Titan

Bad news here. I hope He/she is going to be okay.

DogSig.png

Hopefully...We'll see next chapter:)

Titan has certainly run into someone that's more than capable of taking them out.
*Great Big Angel Hugs*
Bailey...A Proud Supporter of Team Dorothy:)

Bailey Summers

ouch!

that's the hard way to learn which end on the learning curve you are on.
its time they stepped up her training, did she call for backup when she saw the cops down?
good chapter, thanks

Nope they never called for back up.

He needed to save the girl...there wasn't time...just honestly he wasn't thinking as a professional hero might in a situation he needed to. He's finding out how just inadequate he is against someone that can deal out stuff that can hurt him and that's not very good.

Hard lessons.
More to follow.
*Hugs and Howls.*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

Disconnectivity?

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

Ty worries me a little. In his own way he is a bit like bimbo Sunny. Not in that he is an airhead, because clearly he's not, but in a sort of blinkered self-centred perception of the world. His recent sexual encounters seem to be a case in point - he has a heat of the moment 'one night stand' type thing with Sasha and doesn't contact her again (and I worry that not knowing his strength he may have hurt her) and sex with Matt/Alexis leaves Matt/Alexis physically bruised from his not taking care of his strength. The only real, fully rounded person seems to be depowered 'new' Sunny.

There also seems to be some early signs of a worrying disconnectivity between 'new' Sunny and Ty, particularly in the way 'he' views 'her' friends. It was Sunny worrying about how she had treated people in the past but when she shifts to Ty that whole line of thought just pretty much stops. Ty's thoughts on Matt/Alexis take half a chapter to appear and even then are more about avoiding thinking about Matt/Alexis. The only real thoughts from Ty about people in Sunny's life were *ahem* not of a polite company nature...

Titan - if he survives the cliffhanger!!! - seems to be a good hero - thoughtful, decent and caring. His revulsion at the drug factory and what happened to the kids was a normal, decent human being reaction. Titan when not in cape and cowl though seems to be lacking as a person.

Perhaps in this context losing the fight was a good thing? Titan may learn a valuable lesson about thinking things through a bit more. His opponent was clearly stronger, better prepared and smarter. Maybe now it's time for Ty to stop being such an asshat and learn from it, not just as a superhero but as a person.

Looking back at what I've just written maybe I should stop beating about the bush and say what I really feel about Ty? I'm sure I was prolly too vague and wishy-washy. ;-)

Thank you for another enjoyable chapter Bailey!



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Exactly!

Sunny's so much better right now than Titan because Sunny knows how to be Sunny and knows what to correct, what's going wrong. As Titan he only has Sunny's view of guys to show him about being a guy and even with her friends there's those thoughts....in that almost like the saying that men and women can't really be friends. Titan hasn't learned any real maturity yet and hasn't learned a lot of the lessons of male life.

The though that he might have hurt both of the girls hasn't entered his head yet...if and when it does I'm not sure where that'll take him mentally and emotionally.

He really has a long way to go and a lot of hard lessons to learn.
*Big Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers