Super Happy Sparkle Fairies!

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Living in the middle of a park of a major city, 7 magical fairies reside, living carefree, having suuuuper fun, and helping those who frowns need turned upside down!

…These are their stories.

SUPER HAPPY SPARKLE FAIRIES!
By AoifeM
EPISODE ONE: Out of Luck Mike!

It was a bright and peaceful sunny day. The birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing, the flowers blooming; each one providing a colorful display on Mother Nature’s pastel.

Yet there was one thing that marred the otherwise picturesque scene. Lying on the bench, cover in newspapers, sleeping, still holding a bottle of Crown Royale in his hand, was a poor soul of a man. He only started to reside there a few weeks ago, yet it didn’t take long for our cute little heroines to pick up on him! It looks like he needs a little cheering up!

It looks like a job for the SUPER HAPPY SPARKLE FAIRIES!

“Let’s go girls!” cried the red haired fairy, the leader of the rainbow colored bunch. Together they fluttered to his aid!

The green haired fairy flew up to the guys face. “Hey there,” she greeted, “Time to get up!” She flapped her tiny wings and irritated the poor guy’s nose, causing him to sneeze and blew the poor pixie away.

Finally awake, he had a hard time figuring out what exactly he was seeing. Was he hallucinating? What the hell did I drink yesterday? He thought to himself.

The red haired fairy decided to engage him in conversation. “Hi there! I saw you looking so down, and it looked like you needed help! We’re the SUPER HAPPY SPARKLE FAIRIES!”

He was blinking, rubbing his eyes, still thinking he may have drank too much.

The Fairies proceeded to introduce themselves.

“I’m Ruby!” the Red haired fairy began

“I’m Sunny!” said the Orange haired one.

“I’m Goldie!” the yellow haired girl followed

“I’m Emerald!” cried the green haired fairy, still disoriented by her recent fall.

“I’m Cera!” stated the blue haired women.

“I’m Indie!” the navy haired sprite claimed

“And I’m-“

The Wino seemed to have a good guess on the final girl’s name. Interrupting her, he surmised, “Lemme guess. You’re Violet, right?”

Offended, the purple haired girl gave him a piece of her mind. “Oh, how I wish!” she sarcastically quipped. “Life could be so easy if I could’ve had a say! But no! I couldn’t get such an obvious name as Violet!”

Kind of curious, the Wino asked, “What’s your name then?”

Sighing, obviously not too keen on it, reluctantly replied, “Robutussin.”

With a chortle, Indie teased. “Hehe …Robutussin.”

“Shut up!” Robutussin yelled. Digressing she said under her breath, “If only we had a fairy name change court…”

Changing the subject, little Ruby began to interrogate the ragged man. “So there chum, why so glum?”

In a bolsterous manner he started to tell his story. “I used to have it all! Six-figure salary! Wonderful house! Cars! Respect! Everything! But my stupid wife! She didn’t like how I lived my life! Said I was a bad influence for my kids! She went to court for their custody! And won! And not only that! To put salt on the wound , she filed lawsuit, claiming I needed to pay damages due to the “negligent behavior in the treatment of my children!” “She bled me dry! And the cherry on top, I was fired from my job! They, said I was bringing bad publicity into the company!”

At the breaking point, he dropped his face into the palm of his hands and began to cry uncontrollably. “I don’t know what to do.”

The story tugged on the little fairies’ heartstrings.

“Aw,” Sunny sympathized. “How horrible!”

“Yeah,” Robutussin chimed in, “Seems like a real bitch.”

“Fairies huddle up!” Ruby ordered. The fairies gathered into a circle, whispering amongst each other. While intrigued, the poor man couldn’t make out what they were planning. With a shrug or his shoulder he resumed chugging his bottle of whiskey.

Finally the huddle broke, and Ruby told him their plan. “Okay, now that we know what is up, we’ve found a way to fix you up!”

Waving their tiny little hands in the air, together they began to chant a magical spell. An orb of light shined from above, and in a flash struck the awestruck drunkard.

When he came to, he felt out of place. Everything seemed bigger, and this time he didn’t believe it was the result of his drink.

Leaning over a translucent object, he turned his face and fell into shock. He was leaning on the bottle that he was sipping out of just minutes earlier.

But in the reflection was the biggest surprise of all. No longer was he the haggard man who was down on his luck. Now he was a beautiful pixie girl, just like them.

The new fairy suddenly felt a little nauseous, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. Ecstatic, Ruby flew by her side and went to check up on her.

“There!” She cheered, “Now you can be happy, just like us! How do you feel?”

Unable to hold it any longer the former man vomited a rainbow colored concoction.

“Ew!” Indie cried in disgust.

Briefly able to regain her breath, the newborn pixie stated, “Jesus, even my puke is adorable!”

Seeing her situation, Cera conjured up a pint size box of Kleenex’s and offered one to her. Accepting her offer, she wiped her face off.

“So, what’s your name?” Ruby asked.

“It’s Mike,” the Pixie answered. “Why did you turn me into this? If I was gonna be a fairy, couldn’t I have at least remained a MAN!?”

Bewildered, the yellow haired Goldie wondered, “What’s a “man?”

The fairies’ naiveté over basic gender biology aggravated her tummy all over again, and like a waterfall she resumed throwing up.

“Yeah, now we have eight!” Ruby exclaimed. “Ruby, Sunny, Goldie, Emerald, Cera, Indie, Robutussin, and …Mike!”

Finished, the down on her luck fairy remarked, “I’m gonna need a drink…”

“Uh…” Ruby began, “Okay! We’ll talk to you later! Let’s go girls!”

The fairies flew off. However young Robutussin stayed behind.

Mike didn’t pay attention however. Her mind was focused entirely on the oversize bottle of whiskey.

As she struggled pulling off the cork Robutussin decided to lend a helping hand. With the power of teamwork they successfully opened it!

“Thanks!” Mike said as he stared at the giant pool of alcohol down below. With a rush of vertigo he fell inside.

He came up to the surface trying to regain his composure. He didn’t expect that Robutussin would dive in as well.

She ascended from the lake of whiskey and flipped her wet hair back. With a smile on her face, she gleefully cried, “Wow, that was fun!”

Seeing the violet haired girl with her hair wet and skin moist gave her feeling she never felt before. This girl was hot, and wondered if she felt something similar.

Breaking the ice, Mike began, “Why aren’t you back with your friends?”

She scoffed and replied, “Gah! All they do is tease me! I don’t wanna be pushed around!”

“I know that feeling,” Mike empathized. “People suck.”

Robutussin, a little woozy, began to spill her guts. “Especially Indie! God, what a little bitch! What I wouldn’t give to punch her in the face!”

“And why haven’t you?” she asked.

“Punching hurts my wrist…” she said, pointing to her dainty little arms.

Mike couldn’t help herself any longer. No longer holding back she said to her, “You’re hot.”

Blushing, the little Robutussin timidly replied, “You’re hot too.”

And with an embrace, they spent the evening together. What happened will be left to your imagination.


Midnight came and the other fairies were having their fun. Playing and being all fairy-ey. With a violet dot hovering in the sky, they stopped to greet their friend.

“Hi there Robutussin,” Ruby said. “Where’ve you been?”

And with a boisterous storm of emotion, Robutussin cried, “I was with my new friend! My REAL friend! Not like you!”

Shocked by her dear friend’s behavior Ruby asked, “What do you mean?”

With a chuckle and a tinge of anger, Robutussin continued, “All my life, I was always the bottom of the totem pole! But no more! I found someone who cares me for me!”

“Huh?”

“Yep! I’m leaving! Me and Mike are gonna go make a new life. Make plenty of fairy money! Buy a Fairy Mansion! I told him about my great idea! I call it the “Rune wide web!” Where you can get on a rune and communicate with other fairies from all over the world! He absolutely loves it!”

“Runes are for nerds,” Indie quipped.

“Shut up!” Robutussin screamed. “Anyway, now that I have her I don’t need you!” With a flick of her wrist a briefcase appeared, along with her Fedora hat and jacket. “So long suckers!”

And with that she left, leaving her friends in shock.


Six weeks later the unexpected occurred. From the corner of their little eyes the fairies saw a violet light. Could it be? It was! It was Robutussin! Quickly the fairies flew to reunite with their friend.

However, when they saw her face they knew all was not well. It seems poor Robutussin had been crying all the way back home.

“What happened?” Ruby asked, truly concerned for her new friend.

“She took it all!” She cried, “My idea! My Plan! He had it patented by the fairy court without me! And what’s worse, he left me for another pixie! So what if she’s Brazilian!”

The fairies stared at her in silence, broken by Goldie who uttered these words:

“Yay! Robutussin’s back!”

And they lived happily ever after…I think.

The end?



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super giggles

just the right fluff for the day.

DogSig.png

O.M.G.! THAT was sooooooo funny!

So the drunk exbastard is now a Sparkling Pixie/Fairy/whatever bitch!

About time those dizty do gooder cartoon fairies got beaten for once.

Yah the powers of greed!

Snicker.

John in Wauwaatosa

AoifeM's picture

Thanks guys!

Who knows? If readers like it well enough I might do sequels.

Robutussin

Robutussin, what a hoot... now that's funny!!! Does she have a runny nose or just a rotten choice in mates? I think Mike needs a little fairy justice!

The FINX Club

Much as I love super happy fairies they do leave themselves wide open for parody. Wonderful!
The Rainbow vomit was a nice detail. One small technical flaw: it's not what you drank yesterday
that makes you hallucinate fairies but what you DIDN'T drink. Sudden withdrawal after a prolonged
spell of drinking is what causes delerium tremens, which Mike would know. And for fairies, the drug of choice
is usually pixie dust. I find snorting a little now and then perx me up (and creates a lovely shimmering rainbow wake
behind me in the air when I fly...) but I refuse to shoot the stuff, even tho' they say the high is 10X better.

Fairy Mike dropped out of the story rather abruptly, I wonder how she's doing and what furthur troubles she might bring to Magicdom? Hint, hint.
~hugs, Veronica

AoifeM's picture

Very Abruptly

but...hey, at least he's happy again?

Mostly I ended it by concluding in an ironic twist that he(she) was indeed a sleezeball.

Super Happy Sparkle Fairies!

TINK U 4 a laff

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
Extravagance's picture

Yay! =)

Super Happy Funny Slightlydark Story! ^_^

*HuggleSnugglePurrKissLickyourface* <3

Catfolk Pride.PNG
AoifeM's picture

Kitty likes

Yep, think I'm gonna be doing a sequel.

TamaraJeanne's picture

The line...

"Unable to hold it any longer the former man vomited a rainbow colored concoction."
Got a really good laugh out of me.
I hope that you feel inspired to write a few more stories.

Incipient Senility?

Today at the supermarket I went up and down the aisle three times,
searching for SUPER HAPPY SPARKLE FAIRIES with growing frustration...
before I remembered it wasn't my favorite breakfast cereal but a story I'd read here.

It's alot like Lucky Charms, Laika, except...

in addition to the mini marshnallows and sugar coating on the cereal they add a good dose of Prozac, Valium amd THC.

And sugar coated magic mushrooms.

It's MAGICALLY delicious.

John in Wauwatosa

And instead of the leprochan we have a female fairy that looks a bit like the late Timothy Leary.

AoifeM's picture

Hehe

Well, just remember Skittles are Skittles.

And yes, I knew the title would be catchy!

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