“Have you gleaned information that is so potent it feels like it redefines reality?
Its probably happened many times in my life but I can only remember two times really clearly the first from when I was really young was “Adults can lie” the second, was just a few months ago, well before I go on let me tell you a little bit about myself before.
My name is Tyler Bailey I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school and just in case any of you have gone blind, I am 5'8 with a small frame and have short dirty blonde hair.
I was extremely depressed and was constantly contemplating suicide. I live on the 11th floor of an apartment building and at night I would sit on my window ledge trying to scoot myself over the edge. Other times I would hold a razor-blade up to my neck feeling the pulse of my heart through the blade at my neck and think if I could just flick my wrist IT would be OVER. But every time I gave up and cursed myself for being such a worthless coward.
I couldn't even conceive of a future in which I lived. The problem was I was a girl. Well that wasn’t the problem exactly I was a girl in a boys body pretending to be a boy. If that doesn't make sense let me try to clarify it some. Basically it was like double thinking all my responses with the ever present 'what would a boy say/do' filter on. I don’t know when I started doing that but I do know I was TERRIFIED of being 'found out'.
Then about three months ago something amazing happened. My second world changing revelation. I was browsing the web and somehow ended up reading a story about a transgender and it was like OMG OMG OMG THATS ME! When you go nearly your whole life feeling like a freak and then finally find out your not the only one and what WE are even has a NAME?! You cant imagine how that feels unless you have experienced it. In fact I dont think I can even put it into words but I guess I can try. It was like it was storming my entire life and then suddenly it stopped and the sun came out for the first time in memory. I could think of the future again. I could have go-”
“TIME!” my teacher called catching me mid word
'Oh god! Did I really just say all that in front of my entire speech class.' I think looking around the room at every ones faces for the first time since I started
//I know the description doesn't really fit with it being a speech but I wanted it in there anyway :P
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