“I mean seriously…”
Emily looked at herself in the mirror and turned this way then that way trying for the best vantage point to see herself as well…hot.
“Why me? What did I ever do to you?” She appealed up at the ceiling. “Angie has bigger boobs and a better figure than me and she’s like thirteen!”
Angie of course was Emily’s baby sister a whole two years younger and even at that age Angie could pass for sixteen or seventeen.
Emily looked thirteen.
Five four, perky A-Cups and one hundred and one pounds.
She frowned the stared into the mirror some more.
Disgusted at her lack of progress she headed out of the bathroom to her bedroom and started grabbing her things to get ready for school. It was the one saving grace about this she supposed. Her sister couldn’t wear her clothes.
Not that their tastes matched.
Angie was a sugary lacey girl and while Emily sort of liked those tings too it was just too…just too much to take. She was the older sister and Angie made her feel inferior as a girl…better body, better hair, better eyes….
Oh Emily looked definitely nice, slender waist, nice hips but she just wasn’t putting weight on where she wanted…her binge attempt to gain weight last year had gave her a “Muffin Top.” It took a lot of time jogging and doing crunches to get rid of it.
And she took after her dad’s side of the family…Irish…she and brown hair but with a lot of red in it and she was pale…one might call it creamy or fair skinned but Emily called it bacon skin as she tended to fry instead of tan. And oh yes green eyes…can’t forget the green eyes. Angie was fair and blonde and blue eyed like their mom was.
Only her mom wasn’t a complete bitch about things.
She hated that Angie just ever so coyly and cutely lorded her attributes over her.
She hated being behind all her classmates. Most of them were changing, blossoming from the whole teen girl stages of puberty into heading towards being women. Emily just felt like she was getting left in the dust.
She debated the nicer bra and panties but actually went with her usual Hanes and cargo pants and a tee-shirt. She tended to go with girly logo styled tees because with not a lot up top the stuff on the shirt sort of said she was as much as a girl as the rest of them.
She was still trying to find some kind of image, something that fit her.
She headed upstairs from her bedroom in the basement…a plan her step dad had come up with because Angie was so smug it was leading to fights. Like most younger sisters more mature body or not she was always going into Emily’s room when she was upstairs.
The basement was a nice fit for her increasingly darkening moods too. Not hormones…no…but the lack of it…
She went to the fridge and took out some eggs as her mom was folding clothes. “Morning honey did you want me to make you something?”
“No…I’m good Mom.”
“It’s okay honey we all mature at different rates.”
“Mom…I’m not blind…It’s your time, and even Angie is having her period…I’m two years older than her! I think that there’s something wrong with me.!”
She cracked her eggs adding salt and pepper into a bowl then some hot sauce and beat them with a vengeance.
“Your sister is an early bloomer Emily, you just have to be patient.”
Emily took some baby spinach from the fridge and put it into the frying pan. “Mom, I’m not stupid…thirteen’s pretty normal for her to start getting her period. Me on the other hand it’s like I’m stuck here.”
She gestured with her hands at her body.
“So you have a dancers build.”
“Great only I can’t dance.”
“You could get lessons, you’re good at sports.”
That was partially true like in school he was really decent at the sports they played but the teams all had these really pretty way more filled out girls than she was….
So she did what a lot of girls did…less than she could…if you can’t stand out in a good way then don’t stick out in a bad way. Really it was the same with her marks. No one likes a brain, and guys really don’t like a smart girl…well one smarter than them.
So she hid.
She bit her lip from tearing up and added her eggs to the spinach then some cheese. Her dad, well stepfather came in and sat down rubbing his face before standing back up and leaning over the table to kiss her mom.
Jake was okay, better than okay when her dad had left them it had really broke her mom’s heart and she remembered the fighting but not what the fights were about. She remembered how hard things had gotten because her mom had been the mom and housewife and she didn’t have a whole lot of job skills. Her dad being a deadbeat and not sending child support checks or alimony had sort of soured her with men a little. Losing the house and moving into a trailer park was a kick to her life ad her ego too.
The kids at school…well some of them loved that. Not because they hated her but kids love to just have someone to pick on. But then again it sort of cemented her status as not one of the socially accepted.
Not long after that her mom met Jake, and Jake had money, well sort of. He had a small airfield that was his families and between running that and the water bomber they had he made pretty good money.
And he wasn’t her dad.
She liked that about him and hated that about him for the longest time. It was only recently with the last couple of years they made peace.
No he wasn’t Angie’s dad either. That guy was a married man that had strung her mom along with promises and then when her mom was pregnant he ditched her and that’s when Emily’s father had found out.
Yeah her mom had an affair, and it likely broke their marriage the rest of the way. But he just left them, and it wasn’t just the lack of support it was that he never wrote, or called or sent presents. And while Emily had no illusions that her mom cheating was wrong…if her birthfather was like this. Then what was he really like as a husband when he was there?
She was old enough to know life wasn’t easy or clean.
So Jake got some slack, slowly going from Jake to…
“Dad, you want some of this?”
“Mmm…sure, looks awfully healthy though.”
“It has cheese, just ignore the calcium and think about the grease.”
She cut the omelet in fours because she wasn’t going to be one of those people that wouldn’t make breakfast or offer a share of what she made to everyone in the house.
Toast with some of the Jams in the house and coffee.
Angie came literally bouncing in from her jog and grabbed her share as a sandwich and ran upstairs without so much as a thank you. Emily glared at her leaving then just sighed…if she hadn’t all they would’ve heard on the bus ride into town would be. How much of a bitch she was because she didn’t make her some too.
She made herself a coffee a perk that she had over her sister, one her parents likely made up but no coffee until grade ten. Angie hated the fact that she wasn’t allowed coffee. And Jake/Dad banned Red Bull and energy drinks in the house or out of it. He hated them and thought that you should be eighteen or older to buy them.
He kind of had a point. She’d seen a girl that she didn’t really know once drinking a tall can of Red Bull while being pregnant. She didn’t want to think how effed up that kid would be.
She ate her breakfast and loaded the dishwasher and got her things ready and left to go wait for the bus.
Angie was almost late as usual but there enough to get onto the bus and catwalk her way to her seat with her friends.
Emily took her seat and put in her ear buds for her I-phone and listened to music into school.
School was okay, she didn’t really hate it but she wasn’t Angie who though she was two grades below her they went to the same school. There were different sections where they took classes between middle school and the older kids but that never seemed to matter in the mornings as Angie descended from the bus in all her bouncing preppy glory and was intercepted by her crowd of whatever Disney factory whatever was popular at the time.
Emily always thought the fact the most famous thing that researchers had cloned was Dolly the sheep.
Someone had a sense of humor in that lab.
She spied Jack sitting at his usual spot and he smiled when he saw her. There’s another point she had over Angie. Jack, her boyfriend. She’d been going out with him since the summer when they met when se was swimming with a few of the girls she knew while picking strawberries.
Jack was there with some of his friends picking corn on the other side of the river and both groups had the same idea of cooling off.
They both had some stuff in common but more than that he seemed to like her like her.
“Hey.” he smiled and passed her a Starbucks.
“Hey…thanks you treat me good.”
“You like coffee, you’re easy to please.”
They talked about going out and doing stuff that weekend before the bell rang and the day started.
The rest of the day was good until just before lunch when she was asked to go to the office. Her Mom was there.
“Hey? Is everything okay?”
“Yes I was just in town and I tried to get you on your phone but I couldn’t.”
“Cell-phone blocker in the school now mom. Too many people on them instead of class.”
“Oh, about time actually.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “So…..why are you here then?”
“Oh…I got you an appointment this afternoon with my Ogyn.”
“Emily we really should have been to see her before this but you haven’t blossomed yet so I thought in wasn’t a problem but you’ve been getting more and more upset about it so…”
“Mom! Jeez not here it’s no one’s business.”
“Okay, okay I’ll pick you up after classes.”
Her mom had left and before long it was still all over the school. Most if the guys tuned it out after all this was lady parts eeewy business and stuff they’d rather not think about. But the girls…
Yeah…well we all know how teenaged girls can be right? Emily sought out refuge in Jack’s arms and his hands and she let him get a hand under her top as they made out quite a bit. She hadn’t put out even though he was getting more and more ready for it more than she was…it was something that scared her, the thought of sex yes but she also was excited and horny too like any teenager would be.
But Emily dreaded the naked part.
Jake had had other girlfriends and they were all more filled out than she was.
So, he got some heavy boob action even if they were smaller than the ones the other girls had. Emily had really been thinking about going all the way. Jack had waited this long and had taken her out of dates even two really nice ones.
But the news was out…Emily had something wrong with her…I mean that goes without saying right like look at her. Then the speculation started, all those things that might be wrong with her in subtle looks and hushed whispers and just out and out conversations in the girls bathrooms.
“I hear she’s bone dry down there.”
“Maybe it’s a freaky shape inside.”
“I heard she’s never had her period yet.”
“Yeah that’s what I heard too.”
“But she’s almost sixteen?”
“But she looks like she’s twelve.”
“……Giggle, giggle, whisper, giggle, snort of laughter.”
It really pissed her off. Emily stalked almost out of the bathroom stall and stared at them, glared at them.
Of course that went right over their heads but the tone hadn’t. And the fact she said something smart assed that they didn’t get. The cat glares of hate popped out and she could almost feel the daggers being mentally throw her way.
The bell had rung and she was kissing Jack when Catherine Edwards bounce swayed by and she gave her a look and gave Jack this look that was like he was something she scraped off her pumps.
“Eew fuck…you might as well be a pedophile.”
Emily felt like she had the wing knocked out of her and rage soon followed that. “How fucking dare you… you balloon titted…”
She stopped because people had laughed at what Catherine had said and Jack looked like he was…well he looked like someone punched him too and he was staring at her….
“I…I’ve gotta get to class Emily…”
And he took off pretty fast.
Faster than she could go after him… - and the monitor in the halls seen her and glared at her in warning to go to class.
She made it to the bathroom before her nerves brought up the cob salad she had earlier.
The sort of remembered the guidance councilor getting her to the school nurse and taking some Gravol and water.
Her mom came to get her early.
Which resulted in a long crying session in the car…them some serious chocolate therapy on the way to the Obgyn.
Her Mom went in with her.
They took blood which stung but wasn’t a problem. She wasn’t squeamish like that but she was all nerves getting naked and into the paper gown.
She was a little freaked by the doctor giving her, her first breast exam. She wasn’t used to any female hands touching her than her own.
Then the pelvic.
It was scary and cold and…
Then she was asking.
“You’ve never had a period.”
“Urination’s normal, a normal stream no spraying, leakage.”
“No, I’m kind good like that…I don’t really spritz unless I reeeealy have to go and stuff happens.”
“Laughing hard, sneezing, hard coughs…like regular.”
“Do you feel this?”
“And this, and this…and this?”
She took some swabs then even took her to this machine with the gel and made her drink a ton of water.
Emily was getting worried.
Especially when the Dr. was talking to her mom just past the curtain….she snuck closer to listen in…it was about her she had to know.
“I think, and I’m very certain that Emily is CAIS.”
“What’s that?” Her mom asked sounding really worried.
“I won’t know without more tests but Emily from the exam I just did isn’t built the way she should be…not at all really…she’s doesn’t seem to have been born with the right organs and the ones she has are…sort of an adaptation to the way her body deals with her hormonal issues.”
“What issues, what the heck are you trying to say.”
Emily was sort of scared but being a teen of this generation she was only half listening and the other half she was Googling CAIS on her smartphone.
“No!…No, no, no….!”
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